Jennifer Bonn

Make a Difference By Your Reactions

BY JENNIFER BONN

Our experiences with the COVID-19 pandemic have revealed how the choices we make impact our lives. The pandemic has brought out the best, and worst, in us. Reacting to Negativity

When faced with negativity, we can respond with more negativity, or we can respond with kindness. Most of the time, when we rise up instead of sinking down, the result has a positive outcome. When you refuse to fuel negativity with equal emotion, it usually fizzles out.

The next time you are faced with someone who is irate or complaining about everything, stay calm and refuse to engage in a battle of emotions. In France, it is considered polite to greet the clerk as soon as you enter an establishment. My sister, myself and two of my children had just entered a store when my daughter, Jess, who was 8 then, ran up to the man and said “Bonjour Monsieur!” I was thinking how proud I was of her when he began to berate me for not greeting him. (He was very angry.) I calmly explained that I was waiting until I was a little closer to him. He calmed down and said, “Well, la Princesse knew how to act and you taught her to do that, so I apologize.” We had a great talk after that and every year I returned, Jess and I would walk into the store and he would exclaim in French, “The Princess has arrived!” If I had matched his emotions, the outcome would have been different. Don’t Judge

It is so easy to jump to judgment when someone acts a certain way or says something that seems odd to us. Look behind actions to see what is causing them. People act a certain way for a reason, and just because it isn’t what you would choose doesn’t mean it isn’t what someone else might need.

My daughter, Kait, suffers from anxiety. Social interactions are difficult for her because she is afraid she will say or do something wrong. During her first year of college, I wanted to talk to her about how much time she spent in bed, because I thought it might be a sign of depression. She explained to me that having to interact at school exhausted her. I had to understand how she functions and not judge her because of what works for me. Make Plans, Not Excuses

I know many people who want to be smarter, taller, thinner, more athletic, etc. But, when solutions are offered, they have excuses for why they can’t reach their goals. They are allowing excuses to keep them from living a happier life. Speaking Out vs. Silence

When we see injustice, we have a choice to speak out against it or remain silent. Although remaining silent might seem easier, it can exact a toll mentally when we feel we are propagating the problem instead of helping to resolve it. How you can speak out safely will depend on your situation, but find a way to have your voice heard.

There are also moments when silence is golden. While you may want to share your opinion, determine whether your voice will be a contribution or a detriment. Forgive or Be Bitter

At some point, someone will treat you badly, leaving you with negative emotions. It is natural to reflect on what happened and find ways to heal, but if we stay fixated on the problem, we won’t grow stronger emotionally. Letting go of negative emotions is liberating. Once you can move beyond an interaction, those feelings will no longer hold you prisoner. Negativity or Joy

You are the only one who can allow yourself to be stressed. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in your life, but you have power on how you choose to react. You can be the calm in the eye of the storm, or you can be the wild tornado of emotion and frustration. It isn’t hard to imagine what choice will make things work out better.

Jennifer Bonn is a French teacher at Mount Paran Christian School, and is working on a book about lessons she learned in the classroom.