2 minute read
Teddy the Spaz Man
9th Grade 10th Grade 11th Grade 12th Grade
Teddy’s Paw-some School Photos
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BY TEDDY THE SPAZ MAN
Going back to school was always a real struggle for me. I liked to “accidentally” miss the bus. So, one day, dad threw me over his shoulders and marched me right up to the school steps in front of God and everyone. I was mortified. It also was the day I was getting my school picture taken, so it was a double whammy. But, I survived. And fortunately for you, so did my school pics. You’re welcome. 9TH Grade: I was a bit of a jokester when I started freshman year. Academics were the last thing on my mind, and I pulled one prank after another on fellow classmates (and yes, on teachers, too). So, I’d gotten quite the reputation. I thought this pic was hilarious. Mom and dad did not. 10TH Grade: I wanted to be the cool guy my sophomore year, so I dug out one of dad’s retro shirts and threw on some shades. It was short lived, though, because I couldn’t see the chalkboard with those dang sunglasses on, and the shirt smelled like moth balls.
11TH Grade: By my junior year, I’d become a country singer and had officially changed my name to Smokey. Everyone loved my crooning (even the teachers), until one day when Mrs. Knuckles overheard me singing my favorite tune, “On Top of Ole Smokey.” She insisted there was a hidden meaning behind those words, and she threatened to take my hat away if I ever sang it again. Well, a cowboy is nothing without his hat, so I stopped then and there. 12TH Grade: I had a real ‘tude going into my senior year. I was labeled a bad boy, and I wore my sneer like a badge of honor. The she-dogs dug me, but my new look didn’t last long. My luxurious chest hair kept getting caught in my gold chains, and it hurt like the dickens. Seeing a grown dog cry in the bathroom is not cute.
Kids, school pics can be embarrassing, and there’s a pretty good chance yours will end up as a meme for all the world to see. But when it comes time to take yours, just sit up tall and own it! ‘Cause you are who you are at this very moment, and who you are is awesome.
Oh, and by the way, Mrs. Knuckles was right. There WAS a hidden meaning behind those words. Heh heh, I’m such a dog.
Teddy the Spaz Man is a social media dog and not-sohumble Hallmark star living in downtown Woodstock. Facebook/Instagram: @teddythespazman.
