2 minute read
C.A. Phillips
Love Means Doing Things You Dislike
BY C.A. PHILLIPS
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I’ve just come home after working all day. I walk into the kitchen and notice the dishwasher light says “clean.” Man, I hate putting away the dishes. I’m ready to relax or play with the dog. Plus, I still need to mow the lawn before those evening thunderstorms start. And yet, the clean dishes loom. " At this point, I’m faced with a choice. I easily could blow it off until later. After all, the dog needs some attention, and I have more pressing yard work ahead. But I know my wife, Amy, doesn’t enjoy putting away the dishes any more than I do. She has worked an even longer day than I have, and she isn’t home yet. In this moment, I tell myself I love Amy more than I love not emptying the dishwasher. It sounds trivial, but I would rather spare her from having to do it than elude this household chore.
At the end of the day, that’s what love really is. It’s choosing to do something for someone above choosing yourself. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t have a 100% track record of putting away the dishes. There have been times when I did walk away from it. But, as a husband, I have opportunities to make small sacrifices to demonstrate my devotion. Instead of saying, “I’m doing this because it needs to be done,” I tell myself, “I’m doing this because I love Amy so much.”
Then, I must do my best to not even mention it. Many times, we do something so we will be acknowledged and praised. But that pretty much undoes our good deed
because the deed points back to us. I know – it’s so hard. We want the pat on the back so desperately. However, if that’s our motivation, it shows the true intention wasn’t selfless at all. Scripture is chock full of examples of sacrifice and exhortations to put ourselves aside for the benefit of others. Perhaps the most straightforward teaching can be found in Paul’s letter to the [Love is] choosing church at Caesarea Philippi: “Do nothing from selfish to do something ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more for someone above significant than yourselves. Let choosing yourself. " each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV) Maybe your spouse loathes folding laundry, taking out the trash, helping the kids with homework or cleaning the toilet. Whatever it is, make a point this week of doing it for him or her or at least helping out. If you do it enough, you’ll soon begin to enjoy the satisfaction of loving him or her well. And, quite possibly, you’ll start getting help with that chore you detest! C.A. Phillips serves as communications pastor and director of men’s groups at NorthStar Church. He oversees Over the Hump, a weekly online devotional. northstarchurch.org/lockerroom.
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