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TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN: ASK ABOUT THEIR CONCERNS –AND REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR RESPONSE
anxiety is meant to protect us but occasionally misfires and becomes a little overprotective – so we need to train our brain to embrace anxious thoughts instead of pushing them away. It is important to encourage children to face their fears instead of falling into the trap of avoidance.
After discussing what anxiety is and how it plays out, it’s important to validate your children’s feelings by empathising. Tell them how nervous you remember feeling at the beginning of a new school term or when you started your first job. Let them know that we all experience these feelings and that it’s totally fine to do so.
Practical Support
When heading back to school, children need to know that they have your support not just emotionally but also on a practical level. So, it’s essential that you get involved! You may be able to arrange to take a tour of their school, so they can show you where their locker and classrooms are located. This will help ease anxiety of the unknown. The more you know about your children’s school, the better equipped you will be to understand the transition they are undergoing.
Be sure to meet members of the school community, or join the school PTA. Attend any meetings the school invites you to. If you hear from the teachers about upcoming activities, you can ensure your child is organised and prepared. Direct any questions or concerns you have to the school, rather than to your child, and arrange for extra tuition in certain subjects if needed.
And a word about academic expectations: try not to set them too high as this will only add to your child’s stress, and never downplay the fact that schoolwork is hard. If your child is having trouble with a certain subject, let them know this is totally acceptable, not something to feel bad about. You can’t stress this enough. Emphasis that students are not supposed to understand everything straight away – that’s why there are teachers and study guides and services like tutors. Children need to know that it might take a couple of goes for them to review new content before it sticks, and that’s fine.
Practical support includes involving yourself in your children’s schoolwork and helping when you can, while encouraging them to study with friends. Bear in mind that everyone in your child’s year group is in the same boat, and so are their families. Students all get the same lessons and sit the same exams. Knowing they’re not alone can be a comfort to children, and to bring this home you should encourage them to spend time with fellow students outside school.
Last but not least, take time to listen to your children and discuss their day at school and any issues they may have. While grades and homework are important, it is essential that you express holistic interest in your child. This means asking about their social life, extra-curricular activities and how they like their teachers. Your goal is to help your children implement self-care from a young age.
Going back to school doesn’t have to be scary. There are endless ways to support kids through the transition. It’s important to draw on their strengths, and encourage them to see how incredible they truly are. Start each week on a positive note and also give your child something to look forward to. Plan to spend quality time together at the weekend, or suggest a sleepover with friends.