POEMS & ASK BABS

POEMS

The Lovers

A man’s face may indicate a tendency towards despair, but it may also indicate a tendency towards nothing in particular. Sometimes a woman falls in love with a man with this face.

The Building

A mental hospital is just a building, and a woman is just a person sitting in a building.

The Drawing

There are men who like to draw and there are women who like to look at wagons.

The Journey

It is easy to imagine a spiritual journey lacking in grandeur.

—WILLIAM MINOR

I Could Have Written That

Like you, I am tired of my own voice, these incessant I’s and me’s. But what’s the alternative? I don’t have the audacity to employ another he or she or We. Nothing could be worse, psycholinguistically, than that sententious and presumptuous first person plural, which despite its unifying intentions, seems to have an effect that is entirely exclusionary.

—JOHN TOTTENHAM

ASK BABS

For Your Eyes Only

BY BABS RAPPLEYE

Dear Babs, My spouse stopped making art after getting her BFA in painting 10 years ago and hasn’t touched a brush to canvas in the five years we’ve been married, but the pandemic got her painting again, and I’ve never seen her happier. I know nothing about art, but I think hers is very cool. The problem is she refuses to show her work to anyone but me. How can I support her art and get it out into the world?

—Supportive in Scottsdale

Dear Supportive, If your spouse didn’t have an art-school background, I’d suggest you nudge her into the limelight as soon as possible. A little praise goes a long way when you’re new to calling yourself an “artist.” But your spouse is in a very different scenario. Even though she’s been on a long hiatus, she’s already an artist, and it’s going to take more than Etsy sales and kudos from the neighbors to get her to be comfortable showing her work again. You are not the person to tell her how to be an artist. She already is one.

The good news is she’s making art, you’re happy for her, AND you like her paintings. Consider yourself lucky that she trusts you enough to show you her work. Right now, your spouse needs the physical and mental space to grow and re-engage with the practice of making her art. Let her decide what that means. Only then will she be willing to show her work to other people. You have no idea how difficult it can be to emerge from creative hibernation.

Back in college, she had plenty of people to talk with about her art. For the time being, she has you, so get to know her work and her artistic inspirations. Ask her to make you a viewing/ reading list so you can better understand the art that matters most to her. Get to know something about her materials, her techniques, why she paints what she paints. But remember, she doesn’t need a critic (and you’re not qualified to be one); she needs a comrade. Be her biggest fan. Trust that your informed enthusiasm will be infectious, and one day, your spouse will give you permission to spread the gospel about her work. Until then, be the support she needs and let her set the pace.