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NEW YEAR’S EVOLUTIONS
Big, scary resolutions? So last year. This New Year we’re focusing on achievable small wins we can actually stick with, and which help us feel better in the long term. We’re talking about an evolution... WORDS JO USMAR My New Year’s Resolutions Evolution
“Next year, I’ll go to the gym four times a week, become an Instagram influencer, and take up life drawing.” There’s nothing quite like the self-satisfaction that comes with a perfectly formed New
Year’s resolution. Forget the fact that you’ve never set foot in a gym, haven’t posted on social media since 2014 and can’t draw. Your resolutions are set, and not fulfilling them is out of the question. With pressure like this, it’s no surprise that only 26% of Britons said they’d stuck with all their 2020 resolutions, while 25% said they’d kept none. The second Friday of
January is even named ‘Quitter’s Day’.
What’s wrong with resolutions?
“Often when something is ‘ending’, we start a process of self-reflection,” Integrative Counsellor Alexandra Weir (Dip. Couns (MBACP)) explains. “Unfortunately, our natural negative bias means we not only register negative events more readily but also dwell on them, focusing on what went wrong and how we need to improve ourselves. To counteract these negative feelings, we promise that next year we will be better. This can lead to resolutions based upon outcomes rather than behaviours, such “be healthier or kinder”, which not only lack specificity, but also suggest you’re not already healthy or kind – not a great starting place for self-growth.
Why can’t I stick at it?
There’s also the impetus to make sudden dramatic lifestyle changes that come from a place of ‘I should’ rather than ‘I’d like to’, so they’re less likely to stick. “Starting resolutions thinking about how you’re not good enough creates huge self-pressure, without focusing on strengths, interests or values,” Weir says. “And shaking things up too quickly can be overwhelming, which can lead to feelings of failure, anxiety and desperation – and giving up.”
Even the word ‘resolution’ is problematic says business advisor Marla Tabaka told Inc.com: “The word screams, ‘I must!’ Most of us don’t respond to this word and, when we don’t, we feel disappointed in ourselves – even ashamed.”
Why is evolution better?
Evolution by definition means: ‘slow and steady development’. So an evolution of yourself will be careful and considered – and based upon real self-reflection. “The word evolution helps the brain associate potential change with personal growth,”
explains Weir. “It can also allow for trial and error – for us to take it slowly, make mistakes and try again.”
What does evolution mean for me?
This is the year to forget about resolutions and focus on the benefits of the New Year evolution.
Evolution focuses on bringing things in instead of cutting things out. It comes from a place of selfrespect and self-care, rather than self-control or self-hatred.
It shows that lasting positive change comes slowly – and that’s OK. It means working on what you want, not what you think you should want. It means setting achievable steps to reach worthwhile goals.
PLAN YOUR NEW YEAR EVOLUTION
1 Buy a fancy notebook to devote to your ‘evolution’. Writing by hand is proven to aid memory and concentration – and new stationery is one of life’s great joys. 2 Spend a week taking note of everything that brings you joy or peace: What makes you smile or laugh, or gives you butterflies? 3 Think about your skills and values: What are you good at? What means a lot to you? 4 Create a list of ways to introduce more of these things into your life. For example: • Join an exercise class with a close friend. • Go for a walk around the lush local park before work. • Try a new recipe once a week. • Book catch-up calls with friends. • Plan that dream holiday that’s all over your Pinterest boards. 5 Make sure one of your evolutionary steps takes you out of your comfort zone – that will bring a sense of achievement. 6 Remember: every step should be something you want to do, not feel you should do.
