A compilation of journal entries from Linda Greenfield, an American expat living in Iran
Journal entry one I’m proud to be a modern woman. People have told me all my life that as a girl I would grow up to be nothing more than a wife at home cooking for my husband. How wrong they were. For here I am with only eighteen years under my belt in Iran, one of the first female reporters in all of America. Now that the anti-west Shah is deposed, I can come to Iran and achieve my dream of reporting. For this reason, I am elated with the overthrow of Reza Shah in his private chambers, right before he was Reza Shah, but my overthrown feelings are not black and white, for there is still a fear niggling at the back of my mind; Reza Shah was very supportive of women’s rights, but after his overthrow, I could be in grave danger as a woman living all alone in a foreign country where many men will see me as inferior. But I will try not to think about it for now, for it will only dampen my happiness at coming to Iran. I have climbed to the top of my mountain despite all the discouragement I have received, and all the obstacles that I have faced. And the view up here sure is beautiful, but as I think of all the suffering Iranians had to face under the Shah, I realize that the view for Iranians is certainly not beautiful. Reza Shah was a modern man; he built many big cities, and used Iran’s plentiful oil to bring riches to Iran. He was also a firm supporter of women’s rights, and if it were anyone else, it would make him a good man in my book. But his cruel manner and his tyrannical ruling cannot be overlooked. In the mere two weeks that I have been in Iran, I have already discovered the extent of Reza Shah’s tyranny from the manner in which people speak of him. Most every man or woman I have met on my journey has a negative opinion of the ruler, Reza Shah. Or former ruler, I should say. The many accounts given to me by the Iranian people are unanimous in saying that Reza Shah was a tyrant who sent any one that dared to oppose him to the SAVAK, his brutal secret police, or sent them to exile.
I am glad that the English and Russians finally made a move to remove Reza Shah, especially since I can come to Iran to live my dream after he has been removed from power. I guess the reason they finally did remove Reza Shah was his partiality to Hitler and Germany. The English and Russians were at war with Germany and were afraid that Hitler would receive backing from Iran. Added with the fact that they wanted Iran’s abundant oil I am actually quite surprised it took so long for them to make a move. But Reza Shah’s overthrow at the hands of the English and the Russians is not black and white in my opinion. I don’t know how I, a lone woman, will fare in foreign Iran under the new ruler. However, what I do know for sure is that things will change tremendously after this. Chief among them is the style in which Iran will be ruled. Though Reza did much to modernize Iran he was still a brutal autocrat, but that will be no more. Because when I was still in America, it was rumored that the western powers would allow the abused Iranians to have some semblance of democratic reform. I can only hope that I will still be safe living as an expat journalist in Tehran.
Journal Entry 2
I fancy myself an empathetic woman that fairly observes both sides of the story. So logically, I can see that Mossadegh only wanted the best for his people, the Iranians, whom I have come to love and understand. But even so, at first, the patriotic, pureblooded American in me could only think “Good riddance!” when I thought of his overthrow. But now, when I look
Mossadegh was first elected; streets were filled with celebrating Iranians
upon the street, and see the backs of my Iranian friends bent under the suffering of constant fear inflicted by the newly empowered Shah Pahlavi, there is a tiny part of me that cannot help but wish for the return of Mossadegh. But the turmoil that this inflicts upon me is ever so great. For when I wish for the suffering of those Iranian people who welcomed me with open arms into their country to end, I am throwing away all I have ever believed in. As the daughter of a senator, American values of democracy have been instilled in me since birth, how can throw them away so easily for to support a man of communism? But alas, this miniscule disharmony of mine is nothing compared to the suffering that the Iranians have to face every single day. I remember when Mossadegh was first elected prime minister. Before that, us from the west had allowed Iran some semblance of democratic reform for the past ten years; I remember this clearly, as my father had been one of the strongest supporters of having
a democratic Iran. But now I wonder if it was all a façade, seeing as immediately after the Iranian people elected Mossadegh as a prime minister, the entirety of the US got meddling and got him thrown out. But surely, my peace-loving father would not have let America intervene had he known the misery it would bring, but alas, I am not surprised, democracy is his lifeblood. Still, I'd like to believe him not to be responsible for this affliction, so I have my mind made up; it is the English that are at fault! Yes, now that I think it through, it makes sense; they are the cause of all this wretchedness. After all, when Mossadegh wanted to nationalize the oil industry, thereby taking away all the oil from the English and Russians to give to the Iranians. It was the English turned to us for help. They taught us that Mossadegh was a communist, and we believed them! Oh, how I wish we had not sent the CIA to meddle in affairs that are not our business, they caused so much destruction and disruption. And just think the effect this has on me! I know it selfish, but Shah Pahlavi’s replacement of Mossadegh really does cause such inconvenience to me. Shah Pahlavi has an amiable relationship with America and is very demonstrative of that fact. After all, it was they that put him on the throne. Quite like his father, Reza Shah, Pahlavi is a cruel man, but a modern one, the only major difference between father and son is Pahlavi’s friendliness with Americans. But that’s exactly my problem. My friends have all turned on me; it is like I am completely alone in a foreign country all over again! Shah Pahlavi’s cruelty to Iranians and his good nature towards Americans have made the Iranians distrustful of me. As a reporter, I need people to talk to me, but when they see my gold hair, they answer not a question I ask. All the hard work I have put to become an esteemed reporter is becoming undone, I haven’t produced a single article in god knows how long! Oh, how I fret. How will survive if my career, my dream, does not!
Journal Entry 3 I am not ready to die. But my heart is so filled with pain and fear that I almost wish I were. I was born for a life of quiet and privilege, destined only to be the arm candy of one man or another. Never before have I regretted my decision to leave that all behind to achieve my dream as a reporter. As a reporter, and a highly esteemed one at that, I have seen much horror due to my career, so I’m not squeamish. But in recent, the things I have witnessed, and the pain that have befallen me, I may never recover from. I may not be ready to die, but I certainly don’t deserve to live. I am the reason my fathermy kind, peace-loving father- is dead. The hate filled glares I receive is nothing compared to the crushing guilt I feel. Still, Khomeini is as much to blame as I. And to think I was once glad that he was replacing the Shah. I first heard of Khomeini when I was researching an article on contraband control in Iran and had stumbled upon one of his tapes. He had new ideas and theories; he claimed to be the man who would restore Iran to its former glory. I certainly did not agree with his ideas, I am as modern as they come, and a fierce advocate for women’s rights. Khomeini wanted to make Iran a religious republic, forcing veils upon women. But if his coming to power meant the fall of
Embassy workers taken hostage, Photo courtesy of my co-‐worker, documenting the crisis
Shah Pahlavi, I could overlook our differences, because I thought that he could not possibly be as bad as Pahlavi. Soon, word of Khomeini spread everywhere. The Shah felt threatened, as well he should be. Because if even I, a modern woman, who is so violently against Khomeini’s degrading views of women and his old-fashioned conduct, would be glad to see the Shah replaced by Khomeini, then he definitely should have been worried. When he finally took action,
his efforts backfired. He slandered Khomeini in the press in a desperate attempt to discredit Khomeini, but the Iranians were only angered and even more against Pahlavi. Soon after that incident, Khomeini became the supreme religious leader of Iran. I will never forget that fateful year, 1979, when the man who would become responsible for my father’s death gained complete power. And then used that power to kill my father. Almost as soon as he came to power, Khomeini led the hostage crisis. Khomeini may have been the one to lead the hostage crisis that killed my father, but it was I that led my Father to his death.
Things had been rough between my father and I. He wanted me to return to America, fearing that anti-west Khomeini would put me in danger. But I was stubborn, refusing because I wanted to keep reporting. But the old man wouldn't listen to me. He called in some favors from his friends in the government, and was sent over to Iran as a special delegate. The official reason for his being in Iran was to bring peace between Khomeini and America, but I know he was really here to convince me return to America in person, since I would no longer reply to his letters. So it was because of me that my father was in the American embassy when Khomeini’s people stormed it, and took the embassy workers as prisoners. None of the hostages were actually killed when they were prisoners, but it was the stress of the event that caused my father to have a fatal heart attack. If Khomeini could be terrible enough to inflict this pain upon me, what will he make of Iran? The Iranians may hate me now, since I am American, but I still do not want Iran, the country that has slowly become my home, to go to ruin. Nevertheless, I will be leaving Iran. It was the combination of the guilt of my father’s death, and the hate I receive from the Iranians that made the decision. I only wish I could have left earlier, and spared my father his life.
Journal Entry 4 My timeworn heart is aching for the people of Iran. The war is over, but it is bittersweet. Their suffering has finally come to an end, but their home, and their country has been decimated in the resolution of the conflict. It was a conflict set in motion before many of them were born into the world, and I was but a young girl. And now, finally, it is the end of eight years of brutal war between Iran and Iraq, the people can finally have peace. But peace has already cost them too much. I think upon their long and brutal journey to arrive at the present, and I feel such sorrow for all that the Iranian people have had to endure. I know that I am one of the fortunate; I got out of Iran before the war began. I left Iran for America in ’79, and in the nick of time. Mere months after I arrived in the familiar yet foreign arms of my Satellite images of Iran decimated after the home country, it was ceasefire announced that for the Iranians, war was coming. I was relieved to not have to be caught in the middle of the war. But what I didn’t realize was that America’s heavy involvement would never let me be free of the war. 1980 was the year it began. While I was at home celebrating with friends I’d left behind, and Iranian friends that had been smart enough to flee before the lockdown, bombs were dropping on Iran, and machine guns firing an endless rain of bullets. It would have been an easy win for the Iranians against Iraq, their force was much more formidable. But the Americans provided help for Iraq, dragging the war on for years. This caused me immense guilt, and torn loyalties. Those suffering were people I once knew, and it is the people I know now that are causing the Iranians pain. My father’s government ties allowed me all the bloody details to the war. Details that I couldn’t resist knowing, and details that pained me to hear. But in the end, I stood by my country. As much as I hated how the Iranians were hurting, I believed we were doing the right thing. We needed to stop the evil Khomeini. Khomeini had pay for the death of my father, I only wish innocent Iranians weren’t hurt in the process. If Khomeini had succeeded in defeating Iraq he would spread Shi’ism, and that was the last thing I
wanted. So to help we sent satellite pictures to the Iraqis’. It was priceless Intel to the Iraqis’, as they knew when and where the Iranians would strike. After eight years of war, a ceasefire has finally been announced. I wish I could return to Iran one last time, to visit the place I have lived most of my life. But I know I won’t be welcome, and probably will never live to see the day that I am. For I am an old woman now, my time is coming. But if I were to return to Iran, how different I would find it. It has changed so much since the very first time I arrived so many years ago. Yet, there things that still have not changed, and I probably never will, at least not in my lifetime. Iran’s relationship with America has certainly changed. Reza Shah and his son had a close relationship with the US, but since Khomeini’s rule, the relationship is distant and hate filled, especially since the war. And women’s rights have changed much over the years. Shah Reza and Pahlavi were very supportive, but Khomeini sees them as inferior. But all along this twisting journey, the Iranians have suffered; there was no change in that. That is the one thing that I hope will change.
Citations "Photography." The Red List Photography. N.p., n.d. Web. "Charlotte's Web." Pinterest. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Mar. 2016. "Patriot of Persia: Muhammad Mossadegh and a Tragic Anglo-American Coup." Patriot of Persia: Muhammad Mossadegh and a Tragic Anglo-American Coup. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Mar. 2016. Gazing at the Flag. N.p., n.d. Web. "Dr. Marc Benhuri on the Fall of the Shah of Iran." YouTube. YouTube, n.d. Web. 18 Mar. 2016.