A Love to Never Forget Walking through this desolated park, the memories begin to flood, from all does times I had repressed them. I still see your face, your velvet soft touch, but I feel the heartbreak of your betrayal. I was a girl to fearful to speak out loud or to be different, but upon meeting you, nothing of that mattered. You changed my word and gave me an experience I will never forget, I have tried, but when I’m alone, I think of you and my heartbreaks just a little bit more. .
I meet you in the summer before ninth grade at a summer camp held in a private school in
Dallas. You seemed distant and alone, you looked like you were her, but not present. The only person knew was my best friend, Alice, a bubbly, hyper active girl, compared to the quite speaking girl that embodied me. You spoke to me in art class, at first only for supplies, but as time went on you began to speak to me on regular bases. I anxiously waited for the times I got to speak to you, we began to see each other outside the camp and the times we spent together was the best moments of my life. As the camp slowly came to an end, I was fearful of losing contact with you; I summoned up the courage and gave you my number. Your face lit up like a firework and you gave me a hug, that to this day I can still fell your arms around me. We texted almost every day, we went to the movies, and one hot July, you asked me to be your girlfriend and I said yes like a foolish girl in love. Things felt the same, but the air around us felt different, full of love and promises. The first time you kissed me was a warm summer night, the moon was bright and you were pointing out the constellations. I never notice how you stared at me until that night; you grabbed my face oh so softly and kissed me tentively. I felt like flying, my insides were warm and I was nervous, but
at the same time I felt like the happiest girl on earth. I finally understood what love was and how it, looked like because I had you in my arms, even if only for a moment. That summer flew by fast and it was our two month anniversary and I knew exactly what to get you. That day, I wore my prettiest dress, curled my hair just the way you liked it, and wore the necklace you gave me, when you asked me to be your girlfriend. Having no idea what to expect, I walked to our favorite place, a secret spot in the park, where you shared your darkest secrets and I mine. I was so nervous, my palms were sweating and my heart was running a marathon, and I felt breathless, just thinking about your face. O slowly walked up to the spot and I saw you standing there, your back was to me and I felt like surprising you, but I knew that you hated surprises. I proceeded to make my way to you, but as I did, my best friend, Alice, came up to you and kissed you and you responded back. I stood there, hiding behind the shadows, watching you two, touching her the way you touched me. I felt my heart and my world shatter in that instance; I slowly walked away, making no noise, not wanting to interrupt the lovely couple. As I walked away from there, I felt stupid, stupid for thinking someone could actually love me for me. My hear broke and I could no longer pick up the pieces because I had no strength or will left in me to tried to put it together. I smashed your present, a snow globe of our favorite memories together; I cried my eyes out and slowly dragged my broken body and soul back home. You called me that day, but I ignored you, even though it hurt like breaking every single bone in my body, I had to in order to make the pain bearable. I didn’t eat for days and just spent my days in bed, reminiscing and wondering where everything had gone wrong, what did she have that I didn’t and I was so naïve to think you actually loved me. One cloudy Friday, my
mom began to worry, she decided to let me go shopping, thinking that’s what I needed. I had no motivation to do so, but not wanting to worry my mom; I decided to go shopping like a normal teenage girl would. I wore my sweat pants, my SMU college shirt, my beat up converse, and wore my hair into a messy bun, and off I went to explore the cruel reality that was my world. It seemed that everyone was happy, except for me, but the worst came when I came face to face with him. I tried to run, but you stopped me, making my heart flutter and my knees feel weak like before, you question me on why I was ignoring you. I laughed, like I was just told the funniest joke in the world and your face was of utter confusion and I felt angry because you were making it seem like you cheating on me with my best friend, wasn’t such a big deal. We went for a coffee and you sat down in front of me, you smiled at me with that sheepish smile that I feel in love with and I tried my best to not break down in front of you. I acted cold and distant, you tried to hold my hand, but I flinched, as if you had burned me. You asked what was wrong and I looked you dead in the eyes and began to uncover your lies, deceits, and your betrayal. You sat there, motionless and expressionless, as your lies began to come to light. You tried to tell me that she had kissed and it meant nothing to you, I laughed just listening to your excuses. To me nothing about you seemed real or special anymore, all those memories we shared together, gone in a blink of an eye. I stopped you mud sentence and told you good bye and I hoped that life works out for you, I stood up and walked away from the boy that gave me the world, but also destroyed it. I turned away quickly because I didn’t want you to see me cry. I walked home feeling more alone and broken that before, and on my steps was my so called best friend and she tried to hug me, but I brushed her off like a speck of dirt. She seemed confused, as I walked into my house and began to collect everything she had given me over the past four years into a box and I hands her the box, told her good bye and slammed the door in her
face, before she could speak. I began to throw away the things you gave me over the course of our relationship, but I couldn’t throw away a sea shell you had given me from your trip to corpus Christy, it reminded me of how beautiful, yet how fragile our relationship was. Days, weeks, and then summer past, and school began and I wasn’t the same person I was before I meet you. I no longer believe in love, happily ever after’s, and I quit reading because most of them had something that was ripped away from me in an instance. When people ask me if I ever had a boyfriend or a first kiss, I say no because the memories are too painful to remember. You have me something no one else could, you changed my world and because of you I’m not the same person I was, and I can’t go back anymore. There is times when I see a couple and I remember us and I smile now because I got past the pain and suffering. You were my first and last love, you were the best thing and the worst that happened to me, but I wouldn’t change my memories of you for the world.