Forgotten Love It starts when I was in elementary , all I needed was someone to comfort me but who … my mother ... my sister . The only bloodline I had couldn't even have any sympathy for me when I would sit there and poor my eyes out every minute , of every second I got teased from my fellow classmates . But why … oh wait I forgot they never got teased because they were “perfect”! Let me tell you my story , when I would come home every day my grandmother would be there. When I was pouring my eyes out my grandmother would there. I don't remember the day when my grandmother wasn't there to comfort me. She was the reason why I got up every day for school, her love was a shield that protected me from every humiliation I received. My family thinks its a joke when I confronted them about me getting build. But was it really, because the last time i remember... oh yea I wanted to kill myself so it would stop! I cant understand their weird affection and how they try and make everything so extremely amusing. Fact is, they try to hide their emotions deep inside them and expect me to repeat the cycle. My grandmother and I are very alike, we both got teased , we both had the same prospect in life and we both wanted to live like nobody else. But sadly her kidney failed and her life was nearly over. The doctors managed to save her , but everyone in my family went through hell after that day. Every day we went through a cycle and believe me, it was frustrating and unhealthy for all of us. But the day came, where we all … well I… went to hell and back!. Now let’s begin shall we? On September 9 2013, I opened the red front door showered in sweat from volleyball practice. My older sister Ariana had cook fresh meat with soup, she looked at me with a narrow face “ mamioli doesn't look well”. “She will be fine” I’ve said, I didn't give a big fuss because I thought that we needed to have a little visit at Baylor again. In fact 3-4 a day
we went through this, where we had to drop everything we were doing and take her to the hospital. Don’t get me wrong I love her and I would do anything for her , but visiting the hospital would frustrate the crap out of me. Her room was a crossed from mine and her face looked as if she was leaving this earth. So i decided to wake her up and feed her… she struggled for a moment, “ help me up “ . It was very hard to help her because of all of her fluid in her that made it impossible for me to lift her up. Alternative I manage to succeed and collected a few pillows to lay it against her back. Open wide, she struggled but managed to open wide enough to give her food. Slowly and slowly I would feed her but she got tired and couldn't take the pain anymore. How sad that food doesn't give her satisfaction instead, it just gives her more misery. “STOP!... I can't” , she laid down and stared at the ceiling. And it frightened me because it look as if she was leaving me. “I love you “ I said … “I know you do sweaty” … “from here to the moon” . And a little smirk appeared in her face because that was exactly the same thing she would tell me when i was feeling down. September 10, 2013 7:20 “Ari! Ari! Ari! I can't … oh God please… the pain … please help! The loud screams woke me up and I was up quicker than a cheetah. “You almost gave me a heart attack… what do you need” I said, “Your mother!”. I ran quickly up stairs as fast as I could, “ I’m late for school and grandmother is in pain”. “ ok” . “Ari! Ari!”... “stop, im late for school and I already have enough truancies … the school doesn't give a shit if you're sick they only are of getting kids in trouble. “BYE!” That late afternoon, I got home very delighted with all my accomplishments and decided that I needed a reward, so straight to the kitchen I went. But my mother startled me and a panic
look crossed her face “she is dead”. 3 words … it only took 3 fucking words and my heart sank into the middle of the ocean and the deeper it went the harder it was to find it. Never in my life did it ever crossed my mind “ what if today is the last day?”, but you see I was to blind at that moment that nothing matter to me except going to school on time. I walked into her room she was pale and look like she was sleeping the whole time. It frustrates me that I wasn't there , it frustrates me that I was the only one time when I didn't care if she was sick but this time it mattered! It’s painful to write this… tears come across my face filled with anger to tell you this tragic event in my life. It’s painful that I have to re live it. In fact, if it was up to me I wouldn’t have written this memoir, but she does deserve for her story to be told. I’ve been trying to forget September 10 2013 and including all of the memorize I had with her. Of course it sound cruel, but I can't deal with unhappiness and that’s not healthy for myself. My grandmother raised me, cared for me, and stayed next to me even through the bad days . She means so much to me that my love towards her is stronger than my mother’s. Is that a bad thing? Well guess what... I don't care! Because she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. “ I love you to death and I hope after I die I get to live the rest of my eternity with you”.