Only Memories Last Forever Death. If only it was avoidable. Why does death exist anyways? Without getting into the religious background of my beliefs, I’ll go right ahead and tell the story. I had never experienced a death more or less felt the many emotions someone goes through in a situation like that. Although I was not attached to my grandma as much as my sister was, all the memories and fun times we shared rush to my head with the simple action of mentioning her name. My fondest memory of my grandma was when I was around three years old. Up to this day I still remember every detail, the smell of the flowers and the many times it seemed that I would go to the sun and back on the brand new yellow swing in my backyard. As she pushed me back and forth the feeling of flying and taking off into the cloudless sky, filled my body. What I can’t understand, is why does that memory feel as if it happened yesterday, but all the times we spent are not as vivid. I guess that was one of the happiest moments I got to spend with her. Sometimes she would really get me mad but I would forget about it and vice versa. Another memory I have is the summers at Mexico I spent with her, even though my cousin and I would get home late, she would be right there waiting for me to get home safe like a lifeguard on duty. I have no other memories of her other than her yelling at me but in a playful manner. We made each other mad but that was our way of showing love to one another. With misfortune I was not the most closely attached to my grandma. My sister saw her as a second mother and after everyday her love for her increased even more. I can’t say my grandma didn’t like me but I knew there was some favoritism between my siblings and I. I wasn’t the type of person to get mad over a simple thing like that because I thought everyone was close to someone and I was just simply another grandchild of hers. She lived with us for
some years before she wanted to go visit my uncles and aunts in California. My grandma could not stay in one place, she would always want to be traveling back and forth but in a way It makes sense to me that a mother would want to see her children as much as they can while they can and have the energy to do so. Age was but a number to her, before you know it she was on the bus going through those long hours of travel just to be with her children and grandkids. As time went by the her illnesses increased but that didn’t stop her from doing what she wanted to do. The day came when she could no longer travel more than a few hours, from time to time. She had to make a decision of where she wanted to stay because traveling was not an option for her anymore. We had to make the effort to see her and it was totally worth it. The last time I saw her was in twenty-twelve during October when we had no school because of Fair Day. Twenty-fourteen came along and her visits to the hospital became more frequent and had to permanently stay there because she would get worse every time she tried going home. In mid February my mom and sister flew to California to see her and spend sleepless nights at the hospital as well as spend time with the family. Unfortunately the only way for me to communicate and ‘see’ her was through Facetime since I could not miss school and the expenses of flying over there were outrageous. I suppose technology does come in handy once in a while. It really killed me inside seeing her like that, at times I did not want to see her because as much as I wished for her to get better I knew it wouldn’t happen almost as if I could see what came ahead. After everyday her body was getting weaker and weaker but her smile grew wider. The day came and when I heard the news I didn’t know how to feel. It was a strange feeling that I felt inside because I could literally not believe what had came through my ears. As
I walk to the living room my ears hear loud screams like in a viewing when someone dies before the funeral. I don’t like seeing other people cry so I immediately walked out the house. We ended up leaving Friday the fourth of April, at night. Even through all those emotions, I was worried about missing school and having to catch up when I return. I ended up missing the following week of school except for Friday. The emotions I went through those few days were a rollercoaster. Part of me was happy because I was spending time with my mom’s side of the family, which had not seen in years. During the viewing I didn’t know whether to see her and remember her like that or just remember her the way when she was still living. Seeing all my relatives say their goodbye’s was painful but what really hurt me was seeing my mom cry. Holding my mom while I say my last goodbye, it finally hit me. I need to do things the right way and things happened the way they did for a reason. I need to do what’s best for me and stop trying to please everyone. So hopefully one day I can see my grandma again, because to be honest, that’s all I’m looking forward to when the the fire in my heart goes out.