Story of My Life Within a Nutshell When I was about 6 years old that was the time I was about in first grade, and going to school was fun for my first year. I attended Rowlett elementary and the first year was fun, I was heading to the meet the teacher night and I saw my teacher. I pointed out to my mom who was holding me in her arms and my teacher who was in the corner of the cafeteria. She was a short woman with black hair, but always had on a pink sweater. Well when we got there in the morning they would put on a movie for us to watch until the bell rang for us to begin class. For Halloween we would have a fair in the gym and have a dark room where we had to sit in a chair and try to catch a plastic bat flying around us, if we won then we would have gotten a prize. Well of course we all ended up catching it and everyone would get a prize. We had different celebrations for the holidays year round. For Christmas we had a party that involved us giving gifts to other kids in our class, along with that we would end it with a lunch or potluck. We had potlucks for every occasion, for thanksgiving we had turkey, and the teacher showed us a movie on how it all supposedly began. For Halloween she gave us candy and let us dress up in our costumes, me, I was thin so I wore a top that had a mid-drift and a long skirt. Well the second year I spent at Rowlett I had to move so I went to Vial elementary, I was used to leaving friends behind. I stayed at Vial for about two to three years then moved to Williams elementary. I wasn’t really nervous since I’ve had so many first days of schools. I went there and as usual everyone stared at me as if I was from another world. Over the years of me moving constantly I’ve been getting bigger. I never noticed until one day I was sitting in my classroom in fifth grade and we were learning on how if you don’t eat healthy foods this will happen to you. So after school ended I got home and thought about it for a while and how I can change. Well my mom suggested sports might help. So I tried volleyball. Well even though it was sports; I never shed a single pound off my body. I
tried it for a couple years and I quit since I lost hope in it and playing never filled me with joy that I was hoping for. Anyways after that I tried to get back into gymnastics but I got embarrassed by the other girls on how they were thinner and more flexible then I was. I was the oldest in the class but still didn’t know how to do a simple back flip. We tried and tried again at different diets and workouts but nothing seemed to work. At school during the day I would be intimidated by fellow students in my grade on how I looked. They would make fun of me on how I need to get smaller and the way I talked, I had a speech impediment. I couldn’t say my R’s correctly. Other than that everyone kept telling me that if you want to join sports or be popular you have to be this size. I never had any self-esteem for myself; I was the quiet one in every class that had at most five friends out of the whole school. Not to mention the fact that if any one tried to talk to me I would be so socially awkward that no one would want to talk to me. The friends that I had were like under the social group called weird or freaks. Whenever we had to do group projects I was always chosen last and nobody wanted me in their group. I was big and everyone laughed at me on how I talked and how I looked, I was always the biggest person in the room. Every summer I thought yay a break from everything, no more people to harass me and tell me snide comments about my weight or accent, but I was wrong. Going over to my dad’s (He lived in Louisiana at the time) was fun to extent, my step brother would always worry about him being fat and his mom would tell me to come over to her. She would say “You’re not fat, look at her she’s big but she doesn’t complain.” And point to me. Later on before we would go swimming, she would take us swim suit shopping and always tell me to get a one piece. I would ask why I can’t get a two piece. Well she had a daughter who was thin and my sister who was thin as well and she told me, “Only of we were their size, and then I would get you something like that... If I was their size I would want to show it off as well.” That stuck to me and even
though she knew I had problems with my self-esteem she still said that to me. Later on that summer, we (all of us) were hanging out together as a “family” and my step brother was talking about something and I heard him say “Well at least I’m not the biggest one in the car…” And from then on that has stuck to me. That year after that I took a trick to six flags and I was in the line for a ride and this dad and his daughter were in front of me and my friend, we were both kind of big at the time. He made a comment “Come here sweetie, let’s let these two big girls go in front of us… here make room so they can get by us.”. Well years later I took note to those words and tried out for a gym called train up, and I thought it would help with my problem. Not sure if it was effective, but turns out it didn’t work, like everything else I tried. Soon I gave up on trying to lose the weight, I got to the point where everyone was telling me things and I stopped eating lunch for the rest of the year. I had given it up for a while and soon I had stomach aches for days and they happened to be nonstop every night and I never knew why. Later on I figured out it was from me starving myself. I hated my eighth grade year and I always bullied and always kept to myself, I had trust issues with everyone. Some thought I was emo, others just thought I was weird. The results from me starving myself from months at a time, I lost a lot of weight that year and nobody noticed. Until my freshman year of high school when people are like oh you look so good! And keep it up. People actually started talking to me as a friend but I never trusted them, I thought they were faking it since that what kids in middle school did to me. They thought oh lets be her “friend” and then do this. Well anyways I thought starving myself would have helped in which it did. I never had a normal day where I was fine and feeling ok. I stayed up every night wondering if I will get better soon; it lasted all night until around like two or three in the morning. My mom and sister thought after a while I was ok and it became the usual every night, my mom didn’t know what to do. Sometimes I would just be sitting there and
other times I would throw up even if I never ate anything. It never got any better. During my freshman year I ate lunch but only pasta from the Italian line and every day it only tasted the same bland taste. It wasn’t the best nor the worst. I ate it and some-how people thought it was what I ate that made me thinner. I was so self-conscious about myself I wore a big jacket that hid my entire body and if I didn’t have it with me I would suck in or borrow someone else’s jacket to hide my stomach. I never was proud of my weight then nor now, I was so self-conscious until someone came along telling me how beautiful I was. Well today I am some-what less selfconscious about my weight. I made a friend who likes me for who I am and they don’t want it to change. I told them how ugly and big I was and they didn’t care, I told them that I want to get rid of the rest of my body fat and they replied “I am here with you and will support you.” They told me how amazing I was and how I didn’t need to change. They made me or today make me feel proud of my body and I don’t need to worry about my size. I dropped from a size 17 to now a size 7. This person showed me how it feels to be loved by someone for me and not what I look like. I only met them a few days ago but have no intention of having them leave my side. They are my best friend, I will always be self-conscious of myself but they will hopefully make that come to an end someday.