The Beginning of Extraordinary
The smiles lasted what seemed like seconds, when the phone call at one am shattered them, like when fragile glass meets the floor. My mother picked up the phone. "Hello?" she asked with worry in the voice. As she busted out bawling like a baby, suddenly all the bright and beautiful colors of the room turned dark and evil, as if black crows filled the room. "Se muri贸 mi mam谩," my mom said I froze. I was made of stone. As my mom cried hysterically packing her bags it finally hit me, it happened. I exited the room, keeping my emotions bottled up. I saw my mom walking out the door to go to Mexico. I remembered my grandma had called the day before to check up on my sister to see how the delivery had gone "you can barely hear her she's fragile and weak," she explained. I remember I didn't get to talk to her that day and that's when it happened: my "bottle" shattered. Crying, I said "I didn't even get to talk to her," and my world came crashing down. They said it happened going to the hospital, my uncle driving and my grandma in the back seat. My family said her insides filled with water, I can't imagine how she felt, it kills me...maybe like a fish out of the water, hearing that felt like I was stepping on broken glass with bare feet. I regret every day not being able to remind her that I loved and missed her before she was gone. If I knew the last time I talked to her was going to be the last time I would tell her how much she meant to me. To think it all started with lighting a small white cylinder. I remember when I would go visit her and she would smoke in front of me, the amount of disgust I had for the smell was uncanny. Trying to tell her to stop was forbidden, unless you wanted to hear a lecture about how "it's her life and she does what she wants." People don't understand how much they hurt themselves by smoking. I had never lost anyone and, I hated knowing people would
never see them again, having to know they can't give advise, having to know they aren't there. I'm not much of a person that cries but I had never experienced this before. This death dug through the hard shell around my body or you could say heart, and broke me. When other people's relatives died I would try to comfort them by saying "they're in a better place" well now I'm in thei shoes and now I know that doesn't work. God does mysterious things individuals fail to find the good and focus on the bad. She has no more pain and thats the good of it. I would say my grandma is in heaven but no one really knows. Now my grandpa was very cruel to my grandma and hate to say it but he is paying for it now since my grandma or so I think comes for nightly visits. He says that throughout the night he sees her walking around dragging her leg that constantly gave her problems and also that she pulls on his legs at night...he can't even sleep now...what goes around comes around right? I hate to think that my grandma is stuck in the styx. I'm not scared of dying it's an extraordinary thing yet so horrifying of what's to come. After all its a relief right? I'm scared of being underground in a box covered with dirt. January 5th 2014 will never be forgotten. It is May 3, 2014 we arrived in Mexico as we walked into the house. Everything was so different, so quiet. It's crazy how death can touch something someone loves and take them away in a split second. No one is happy anymore they just put the fake smiles on their faces'. My mom can't even sleep in the same bed that my grandma was on so she slept on the floor, I don't blame her. I stayed up all night to see if I would see her one last time, but she never came not even in a dream. After this happened I can't stand smoking at all. I hate it. On to another topic the 3 guys that have been my boyfriends have all ended trying to get back at me by smoking. Freshmen year I would constantly hear "it's you're fault he's doing it." And also this year hearing that honestly makes me feel like shit. But I promised myself if one of
my boyfriends ever smokes I would break up with them faster than a cheetah. Until this day I have kept that promise. I will never stoop so low to smoke to me it's the biggest sin, of course I'm not going to wear a white hat and call myself a saint but that's what I believe. In school I've always been known as the girl "that should've been blonde" I hear this everyday. Having people tell me this everyday is overwhelming, although I still laugh through it. I've now recently started to stand up for myself because it's just so freaking annoying. I don't need people constantly putting me down. Because of these people I will make extraordinary things with my life. I will go to college no matter what I have to overcome. Sophomore year is coming to an end and its every stressing getting everything necessary for college. Having many clubs like AVID, color guard, class of 2016 and student council and hopefully more to come like NHS, Sabor Latino, HOSA, clinicals, and light brigade. Although I've already been judged for being class president for junior year by the people that I have never in my life seen helping out. "I can be a better president than you look at my grades" I look at this guy like when a lion is hunting its food the amount of rage I had was unbearable. But I put a smile on my face and turned the other cheek. I'll be ok even on my weakest days. Although it is getting harder and harder to be strong I'm getting to the point that I'm going to pop like a balloon with too much air. Sometimes I need someone but I always turn to my dog and talk about it because I hope he doesn't get tired of me. Also I turn to my pillow and scream as loud as I can until I feel better. I will never turn to suicide because if people commit suicide they will go straight to hell God gave people a life he should be the one to take it from people. I will always be fine.