Asian Outlook | Spring 2021 Issue #1

ASIAN OUTLOOK

July 2021 Vol. XL, Issue 1

Seventeen What Chauvin’s Conviction means for the Future of Racial Justice

14 | What Chauvin’s Conviction means for the Future of Racial Justice | Michael Natrella

Volume XL, Issue 1

contents ASIAN OUTLOOK

featured 32 | Seventeen | Alexis M Yang

editorials 4 | See the red | Victoria Sheung

16 | Late Night Thoughts | Shirley Dong

5 | Kaiwen Speech | Kaiwen Zhu

17 | ASU Election Ushers in Next Gen | Justin Roman

7 | Searching for My Identity | Morgan Yi

18 | The Importance of Cinema in Preserving Artistry | Akshay Prasad

8 | you are not your pain | Kayla Cartier

20 | Time Heals | Lily Tang

9 | What We Have are 24-Hour Shifts | Samantha H Wing

21 | Sensory Overload | Anita Liu

10 | Genshin Impact and Proliferation of Culture: A Study of Liyue’s Fashion | Courtney Fu & Serena Gao

22 | 60 Things I learned in Bing | Michael Messina

2 ASIAN OUTLOOK

15 | am i asian enough? | Sasha Goldstein

26 | Transcript of Burma Interview | Emma Shen

28 | Representation | Michelle Xin

conscience 30 | Hate is a Virus | Michelle Pao 31 | pictures of Japan | Masatami Cauller 36 | Sprung | Celeste Pietrzak

Front cover photos by Mike Natrella

letter from the editor...

Dear Readers, I’m sure you’re all wondering, “Why the hell is this magazine so late?” The short answer is, Spring 2021 sucked. The long answer is, the Binghamton University administration does not give a single shit about students’ mental well-being, and I’d rather have a late magazine than force the magazine team to choose between their grades and the magazine.

With that being said, I owe a huge thank you to all the editors, both copy and layout, and my dear Conscious Editor Celeste. This magazine wouldn’t have been made until next semester if it weren’t for this team; I certainly wouldn’t have made it through this semester without you guys. Thank you all for your hard work and dedication (and sorry for putting you guys through editing hell)!

This edition of the magazine itself is chock-full of heartfelt, genuine and brilliant pieces on representation and introspection, as well as the intersections between the two. After all, in order to know what kind of representation you want to create and see, you have to understand your identity; on the flip side, seeing a positive representation can spark a new sense of affirmation and confidence in yourself. I encourage you all to keep writing and fighting for the representation that you want and deserve.

Please enjoy this issue, and see you next semester!

Michelle Tan Editor-in-Chief

ASIAN OUTLOOK EXECUTIVE BOARD SPRING 2021 President Vice President Editor-in-Chief Conscience Editor Secretary Treasurer Copy Editors layout editors Videographer Publicity Chair Podcast Manager Audiographers Outreach Chair Copy Intern General Interns

Justin Roman Ashley Zhang Michelle Tan Celeste Pietrzak Shirley Dong Mike Natrella Alison Cheung Lily Tang Courtney Fu Anita Liu Claire Choi Grace Chen Sherry Dang Samuel Atkin Jasmine Ku Emma Shen Ivy Lu Masatami Cauller Sasha Goldstein

EDITORIAL POLICY

Asian Outlook is the art, literary and news magazine of the Asian Student Union of SUNY’s Binghamton University. Originally conceived and created to challenge, redefine, re-imagine and revolutionize images and perceptions associated with Asians and Asian Americans, Asian Outlook also serves to protect the voice of those in the minority, whether by ethnicity, gender, and/or political orientation. All matter contained within these beautiful pages do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board. Asian Outlook reserves the right to edit submissions and publish work as deemed appropriate.

Prospective contributors are encouraged to discuss their work with the editors prior to submissions. All submissions may be submitted as e-mail attachments to ao.editor@gmail.com.

CONTACT POLICY

Uninvited contact with writers and contributors is strictly prohibited. Please direct all questions, comments and complaints to ao.editor@gmail. com.

E-mail us at: ao.editor@GMAIL.com For more info check us out on facebook: FACEBOOK.com/asianoutlook/ Look at our past issues on Issuu: ISSUU.com/asianoutlook Inside Outlook Podcasts: SOUNDCLOUD.com/asianoutlook3

Vol. XL, Issue I 3

Finger gun, “hands in the air!”

Ice heart, kindled glare.

To you, the faceless worker, To us, a father, a son, a beloved brother Spare us! You won’t, as you dart From a conscience you play no part.

“You,” I point my finger gun at the dark Surrounded, howling ghosts drown the lark Is this the world we’ve bred?

Raindrops drip drop, see the red.

4

See the red

By Victoria Sheung

~

Gun shots, pow pow! Louder than the truth (what truth?)

Mugshots plastered — front page!

Sensationalized, rationalized!

Trace the patterns and Erase the memory.

All these lives are just numbers on a chart.

But how can you deny?

The throbbing of entangled hearts, strangled by wrangled screams, mangled underneath paper dreams.

Give me strength, mother and father.

Their invisible hands carry me.

Sweet melody, Silent weeps, The song weaves through the tremor shaking up the country. ~ Crossing lands has never been easy Blistered hands Still, they call him sleazy Forgetting, remembering, We are family!

The tired dad and his young lad.

Churning hearts, triumphant grad!

Sturdy is the ground for the proud stride, The endless march and bumpy ride.

Sturdy stays the ground for the lofty climb The sober step and extra dime.

Simple wishes, steady days Yet lives are greeted by ~ black deaths and Finger gun, “hands in the air!” red tears Ice heart, kindled glare.

To you, the faceless worker, To us, a father, a son, a beloved brother Spare us! You won’t, as you dart From a conscience you play no part.

“You,” I point my finger gun at the dark ASIAN OUTLOOK Surrounded, howling ghosts drown the lark Is this the world we’ve bred?

Raindrops drip drop, see the red. https://unsplash.com/photos/No60kP3Qa_U

Voices from the Rally By: Kaiwen Zhu

T

o the racist American that is lurking at home; on the street; at the train station, or in front of businesses, waiting for a defenseless target to unleash bloodthirsty and violent hate: I love you as a fellow Christian and American brother.

And I will die before I hate you.

We have lost over a half million of our fellow Americans, friends and family to an invisible disease.

Our families have been quarantined and isolated, and our businesses are disappearing. You are angry and hurt. I understand. While the first case may have started in China, our government– sworn to and paid by us to insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare– has failed us. They let us spread it freely, not wear masks, barely granted any stimulus, and our prior president has carelessly and conveniently scapegoated an entire race as the cause of all your suffering.

However, I warn you that the disease of hate is even deadlier and more contagious. We are not your enemy.

We are Asians, but the fact that we have crossed oceans to be here shows you how much we love you, how much we love America. We are Asian-American and, by hating us, you are poisoning America and all that she strives for.

To cure this poison, I, Kaiwen Zhu, offer to be the last American to die of racism and demand that hateful racism in the United States must die with me.

To any Americans with racial hate in your heart, I also say to you– If you must devolve to violence, have some dignity and beat, maim and kill me instead. I am a young man.

I’m about to graduate and continue my life of love; surely, I have much more to lose than those elderly women. Is this the land of the free and the home of the BRAVE? Where grandmas cannot walk to the store and buy eggs without the fear of death? Or perhaps talk to me, hear my story and love me. Realize that you have let hate blind you, but know you still have love.

Like you, I had once hated myself, but now I live every minute with nothing but love. I am a soldier of the gospel of love; I will spread it until hate is no longer, and my first mission is to directly redeem your heart of hate. Because if you harbor a hate so violent that

murders elderly American women on a bad day, then within me is the creative and redemptive love powerful enough to understand you, forgive you, believe in your goodwill and help you realize your love. And since the beginning of human history, love has, and always will, triumph over hate.

To my friends, family, and Asian brothers and sisters: Please don’t tell my mom about what I just said about telling racists to come after me instead. She will kill me worse than any racist. Thank you.

Do not worry. I have zero desire to be martyred. I love living and laughing with you all too much. My offer is not radical when you consider the tragic reality that Asians are now in. We have an omnipresent target on our backs. We now live in fear, threatened by the knowledge that ourselves and our loved ones can be hurt or killed by anyone anywhere. I am simply taking control of that vile threat and using it to give a face, story and weight to my voice so that the nation cannot ignore or silence it for a second longer. It is my experience that 99% of Americans are amazing and selfless people, and I believe the good people of the United States will protect me.

Please search for your voice and share your story, but submit them through love. I feel your rage and your pain; however, we must not let the shooter’s hate capsize our own hearts or let our voices succumb to violence. Our enemy is hate, not people.

As Asians, we are neither Black nor White; we have been attacked and befriended by both Black and White.

We have the unique ability to unite this country against hate and we can only do it with love. Let us elevate our voice above race not by screaming stop Asian hate, but by screaming stop racial hate.

However, many of you are silent because you are trying to ignore our new reality. That unspoken contract of submissive and silent acceptance of their racism is now VOID because they are killing the people who have sacrificed the most for us. Have our elders really come all this way, sacrificed and endured everything, just to be killed on the streets? What good will that money be if they kill your mother? What good is all those years of hard studying if you can lose it in an instant?

Vol. XL, Issue I 5

Do you want your children to live every day with the fear that one day, you might be too slow in pulling out your pepper spray and won’t come home to them? We can do more than buying guns and lying to ourselves that we can physically fight them. We must go on the offensive of love to fight hate at its source TODAY. We cannot wait for time. Time is a neutral force, and if we, the good Americans, do not utilize it constructively, then the forces of evil will surely claim it as demon time. Please search for your voice of love. I understand many of you cannot speak because you are afraid. You want to preserve your friendships, your careers, your family’s safety. I understand. If you cannot speak right now, I humbly beg you to unite behind my voice of love. I cannot do this alone. I need help planning, organizing, marketing, fundraising and marching against and dismantling all manifestations of racism.

Your inspiration will be more powerful than anything I can do alone.

To my Black brothers and sisters and brothers and sisters of color: Unfortunately you are veterans of the crusade against racial hate. Everyday, I admire your people for the strength and grace with which you carry your history, and live it with pure love and beauty. With supreme brotherhood, reverence, honor, gratitude, and love, I humbly beg you to allow us to help you solidify the dream of Dr. King Jr. into reality and share in living that reality with us. We can only do it together. In unity, we stand strong.

To my fellow Americans: Today, I fatefully declare that violent, hateful, bloodthirsty racism in the United States is drawing its final breath.

Today is a new day of rebirth and united freedom. The time is now. The place is here. We Americans must emerge from quarantine, reborn from shadows of racism, into the sunshine of unity by remembering the love in our hearts, the love across our dinner tables, our love for our neighbors, our love for God and our love for the United States of America.

God bless you. I love you so much.

6 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Searching for my Identity

By Morgan Yi

I remember how it was before the pandemic.

I could sit in small groups during late summer nights, staring at the lucid blue-black sky spotted with stars all over the endless universe. I lived in a less corrupted America. My Korean-American mind was untouched by the world of hatred that was soon to come. Never had the thought of Asian-Americans being targets of hate crimes occurred to me. When the pandemic hit, my life was ultimately shifted for the worse. It was overflowing with never ending blame and hate crimes— there seemed to be no escape.

My identity was shifted.

The coronavirus pandemic established the mindset where I felt like I constantly had to remind others that “I am not a virus.” There is no clearer way for Asians to enunciate the idea that it’s not our fault. Tackling the pandemic is something the world should work together on, instead, Asians are being alienated and blamed for something they have no control over. Walking outside with a mask on as an Asian American now feels more like walking around with far more masks than just one or two. These additional masks hinder my identity; I never know what to expect in the outside world. I am now constantly searching for a way to find myself again with the terror of what will happen every day. My mind is splitting itself in two parts: one trying to be the normal me and the other pleading for a new identity. I can’t be my true honest self.

I became scared of being me.

Along with the pain Asians are going through living in a tainted America, the rise of hate crimes against Asian Americans unnerves me. Leaving the house with a mask is no longer enough to protect me — a thin piece of material on the face cannot fight against a weapon. No mask is able to protect my mind from cruel words that slip out through hate crimes.

I am now forced to shift my lifestyle into being more alert than usual, looking from side to side every moment, ready to run if necessary. Outside trips seem endless now, a never ending journey across a dangerous slope. My routes twist themselves, have obstacles every few steps; walking rapidly is now a habit. I have to observe every person I am about to walk past, as Asian hate crimes rise. For once in my life, I am scared to look like myself.

I took all of this as a way to understand Asian Americans.

Though Asian Americans may seemingly have it better than other minority groups, lately the pandemic has made Asian American mental health deplete. Through it all, Asian Americans have always had such large, supportive communities to immerse themselves in. I do not struggle to find people to relate to. The pandemic offered many opportunities for me to learn about the world and learn about being an Asian American living in New York City. Though the pandemic put people into a state of disbelief with the world, it also gave me a chance to search for my cultural identity.

But all I want is to live a normal life again.

Vol. XL, Issue I 7

you are not your pain

By Kayla Cartier

As cheesy as it sounds, I found it so beautiful when the sunlight peeped in through the blinds after I cried over the past.

Past pain, Pain heartbreak, Past betrayals.

It was such a small but warm little light, only there for a few minutes.

But, in those minutes, it felt like it was shining to soothe only me.

How could we be so naive?

So naive to think we would never feel pain if we boarded ourselves up; so naive to think if we hide, it won’t find us; so naive to think we will be joyful forever.

I am done hiding.

All that comes from hiding is stagnation; the only way to feel that sunlight again is to face the pain.

And, when I sunk my tear stained cheeks into my pillow, felt the soft fabric absorb my hot tears, I realized I wasn’t crying out of pain– I pulled away and I smiled and I laughed at myself.

I was crying because I was so thankful to be able to feel the sun.

8 ASIAN OUTLOOK

https://unsplash.com/photos/qs9g0Cz9oZU

W

hat we have are 24-hour shifts.’ If you need to work, you do it.

By Samantha H Wing

Lai Yee Chan’s workday didn’t really begin or end. She woke up in a bed next to the one her client slept in, made him breakfast, bathed him, clothed him, cleaned the apartment and laundered his clothes. When her client had the energy, she would lift him into his wheelchair and take him to church or to hear music in nearby Columbus Park. His lunch and dinner were meals that she cooked, blended into the consistency of baby food, and fed to him. At night, while he slept she didn’t.

She monitored his breathing, periodically helped him shift positions and changed him every two hours, the same as in the daytime.

In New York State, home care workers, many of whom are immigrant women of color, are forced to work 24-hour days. Their labor is undervalued and underpaid, as they are paid for 13 hours of a 24 hour shift.

Many seriously-ill seniors and people with disabilities need 24/7 care. They wake up in the middle of the night or don’t sleep at the regular hours home care workers are expected to go on break and rest. This is exhausting, with the lack of sleep leading to chronic illnesses, on top of being disproportionately affected by COVID-19 though not being considered frontline workers. At the beginning of the pandemic, they were not even provided personal protective equipment like masks by their employer companies or by Governor Cuomo. Long working hours for medical workers is also linked to increased patient mortality. This leads to more mistakes, decreasing the quality of care for patients who deserve safe care.

As home care worker Edith Guttierrez says “You’re in your patient’s home. You sleep with one eye open, one eye closed. You need to be alert. You’re always worried that something will happen to the patient. You feel anxious.

You think, how many more days do I have when I can leave, sleep in my own bed, breathe the air outside, study? We’re human beings. If we rested, we could go back to work with more energy, more love.”

Most importantly, home care workers don’t take these shifts by choice. As home care worker Maria Rodriguez recalls, “They tell you, ‘We don’t have a day shift or a shift of a few hours. What we have are 24-hour shifts.’ If you need to work, you do it. You don’t have an option. It’s not because I want to, but you have to pay the rent.” Often the only jobs offered by home care agencies (like the ChineseAmerican Planning Council and the American Business Institute) are 24 hour shifts, otherwise they say they offer no other work. https://unsplash.com/photos/Z8TQv3yKQd4

The violations of home care workers’ rights were first fought against as far back as 2015 with the help of the worker-led “Ain’t I a Woman” campaign. Through long processes of failed bargaining with unions for backpay, lost wages, and excessive hours, the fight is still going on.

Recently home care workers protested their healthcare union 1199SEIU for refusing to stand with them in support of ending the 24 hour workday. They also protested CPC, one of the largest social service entities within AsianAmerican community, calling on the organization to end racial violence, economic violence, and the exploitation of workers.

The fight to end the 24 hour workday unites everyone, those who believe in justice regardless of being from marginalized communities, those who care about the poor treatment of those just trying to make an honest living for themselves and their families, and those who understand how this movement connects to advocacy for every worker. The widespread struggle to take back the lack of control of time has been a common theme throughout labor organizing, like the historical push for traditional 8 hour workdays, though minorities, especially immigrants and women of color, have been left behind.

I’ve been volunteering with the Ain’t I a Woman campaign and learning more about the importance of promoting the voices of workers who are otherwise ignored. The organization is currently advocating in support of New York State bill S359/A3145A which ends the 24hour workday by mandating 12-hour non-sequential split shifts. I urge you to contact your New York State representative in support of the bill. You can learn more about the movement at https://www.aintiawoman.org/. As Martin Luther King Jr. said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Vol. XL, Issue I 9

https://www.laborpress.org/health-aides-hail-bill-to-ban-24-hour-shifts/

What We Have Are 24-Hour Shifts

Genshin Impact and the Proliferation of Culture: A Study of Liyue’s Fashion

By Courtney Fu and Serena Gao

Genshin Impact as a Game

O

ne of the top games to come out of the mess that is 2020 is a multi-platform action role-playing game known as Genshin Impact. Developed by the Chinese company MiHoYo, Genshin Impact follows the story of the main character, Traveller, as they venture through the seven nations of the Teyvat world in search of their lost twin sibling.

Intro to Liyue Throughout the story, the Traveller encounters people from different nations. Each nation is ruled by a god who is associated with a different element (e.g. air, water, fire, etc, though they go by different names in the game), and is heavily inspired by a real country. At the time of writing, there are two countries that are explorable in the game: Mondstadt and Liyue. Mondstadt is ruled by the god of Anemo (air), and its design is based off of Germany.

Liyue is ruled by the god of Geo (rock), and it’s based off of China. In the game, Liyue Harbour is the bustling centre for commerce and trade, and responsible for the world’s coin currency production and supply.

Immediately, there’s a lot to unpack about the Liyue-China analogy, from the architecture, to the food, to the people. The focus of this article will be on fashion and clothing of the Liyue people, taking you through the history and cultural references of some of the pieces you see in the game.

We’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum!

Historical Fashion Influences in Character Design Looking at the Liyuean characters, it’s clear that they’re “Asian”— but what elements of their design have contributed to that impression? We’ll walk through some notable characters and point out the features that are rooted in Chinese culture and history.

Zhongli Zhongli is the Geo god that rules over Liyue, enforcing business contracts and consulting on various projects with his vast knowledge accumulated over centuries. Despite having the ability to make infinite money, he somehow always forgets to bring money to lunches at expensive restaurants. Yep, he’s that friend.

Zhongli’s design contains a lot of patterning. These are references to a set of twelve different patterns known as the Twelve Symbols of Sovereignty (Twelve Ornaments) introduced in the Zhou Dynasty (1050 - 771 B.C.), which were exclusively worn by the

10 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Official Artwork From Mihoyo

emperor and high ranking officials.

Each pattern has a symbolic meaning-- for example, the sun (right page, top right) symbolises the source of life and represents enlightenment, and the seaweed (left page, bottom right) represents purity of the emperor’s leadership.

As the god of Liyue, it makes sense for Zhongli to have parts of the Twelve Ornaments. On either side of his robe, he has the dragon (as implied by the scales), which represent the emperor’s imperial power and adaptability.

Across his back, he has the symbol of distinction (fu 黻), which doesn’t have a name specifically but is composed of two back-to-back 己’s (己 meaning self), representing the emperor’s ability to distinguish between good and evil, and reflect on himself to ensure he’s doing good.

Over time, the Twelve Ornaments have lost their sacred significance, but the patterns are still present in Chinese styles of clothing today.

Another noteworthy feature of Zhongli’s design is his long ponytail. Long hair is deeply rooted in ancient Chinese history as a symbol of social status, ethnicity, and beliefs. It dates back to Confucius of the Spring and Autumn period (771 - 476 BCE), who said that long hair was a sign of piety and virility; since a person’s hair, skin, and body was given to them by their parents, they should show respect by not damaging it. To cut off someone’s hair was considered worse than sentencing them to death.

As punishment for crimes, law breakers would be ordered to cut their hair. One famous story is that of General Cao Cao from the Three Kingdoms era, who was a staunch enforcer of rules and regulations. One day, he accidentally let his horse into a field of corn and, having violated his own rule of not dealing damage to standing crops, determined that he must also be punished with death. After further persuasion, he agreed to cut his own hair as an equivalent punishment.

Zhongli’s ponytail isn’t completely historically accurate, but his long hair is a nod to the long-held significance of hair in Chinese history.

Image from Wikipedia

Xiao Xiao is one of the remaining yakshas and protectors of Liyue, whose main role is to subdue the evil spirits that have once plagued the nation. At first, he appears as a loner with no interest in crowds or social gatherings. But on closer inspection, he suffers massive negative karma from the evil spirits he slaughters, and isolates himself to protect others from his burden.

The term “yaksha” originates from Hindu and Buddhists texts and was popularised in Chinese folk legends by the end of the Tang Dynasty (618-907 BC). In these texts, yakshas are benevolent spirits who were protectors of the god. As a yaksha who can manipulate air, Xiao’s character is better encapsulated by the Chinese term 捷疾鬼 jieji gui (“swift and nimble spirit”), which extends the concept of yaksha to cover his physical agility and warrior abilities.

When observing Xiao’s design, one of his notable features is the mask he carries alongside with him. This mask is inspired by Chinese exorcism masks which were a part of Nuo folk religion. Nuo opera performances used these masks to ward off evil spirits and disasters and bring good luck. For the same purpose, Xiao wears his mask when he’s dealing with the evil spirits of Liyue.

Xiao’s outfit additionally incorporates Buddhist objects such as the vajra around his neck and the censer at his waist in order to ward off evil spirits. A censer, also known as an incense burner, is typically used in religious circumstances. The vajra Left: Traditional Nuo Mask Right: Xiao’s Mask

Vol. XL, Issue I 11

is a ritual weapon that symbolizes the properties of a thunderbolt and a diamond. It has origins in Indian mythology, where it’s the strongest weapon of the universe. Though these objects can be seen as accessories to ward off spirits for Xiao, they still hold great significance.

Qiqi Qiqi is a small child resurrected by the gods that works in the local pharmacy of Liyue Harbour. She has a tendency to forget things, but will do anything for coconut milk. Same, girl, same.

Qiqi’s design is based off of the jiangshi (僵尸) or Chinese Hopping Zombie: the key markers of which are the round mandarin hat, the talisman on her forehead, and her red eyes. She also exhibits Taoist influences through the yin-yang tassels at the end of her robes.

The origins of the jiangshi are traced back to the Ming/Qing dynasty, where migratory workers who passed away far Official Artwork From Mihoyo from their ancestral homes would have to be transported back for a proper burial, otherwise their spirits would become homesick. So families would hire Taoist necromancers (known as corpse drivers) to bring the corpse to ‘life’ and hop them back to their homeland.

Qiqi also wears black decorative shoes, known as 寿鞋 (shuo xie, longevity shoes), which are worn by the corpse in their burial. As a person nears death, it’s tradition that they make their own longevity shoes, which are often made of silk and have various tassels and decorations to symbolise a happy afterlife.

Xiangling Xiangling is the adventurous head chef of a renowned restaurant in Liyue Harbour. She suffers from poor public speaking abilities, but she’s always experimenting with new ingredients that others would balk at using, which gives her a culinary edge.

Xiangling brings in yet another subculture of Chinese fashion: country bumpkin. The dark brown of her shirt is reminiscent of the dudou (肚兜, literal: belly wrap), an undergarment dating back to the Ming Dynasty. The dudou was effectively a square cloth made of cotton or silk which only covered the chest and stomach, and was tied around the neck and back by thin strings. It functioned as the modern day bra, and was patterned and embroidered to thematically suit the person wearing it, but is most commonly red in colour. Wearing it as outerwear is generally disapproved of by the elder generations, and seen as a stereotype of rural dwellers, but has occasionally been introduced into modern fashion.

Image from Photobucket

12 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Chongyun Chongyun is an exorcist that was born with excessive yang (positive) energy, which repels ghosts and spirits, thus making him very effective in his job.

Together with the yin-yang symbols in his exorcist rituals, he embodies another Taoist element in the form of the symbols on his belt, which are part of the Eight Trigrams (ba gua, 八卦). These symbols are used in Taoist cosmology and represent the fundamental principles of reality, with the broken lines meaning yin and unbroken lines meaning yang.

Particularly, the three symbols on Chongyun’s attire, from top to bottom, mean thunder (☳ 震 Zhen), water (☵ 坎 Kan) and mountain (☶ 艮 Gen).

Chongyun’s overall style of clothing is reminiscent of that in the Yuan Dynasty (the Mongol Dynasty). During this time period, men’s casual clothing was similar to that of the Han people and consisted of a jacket with short sleeves worn over it. Though Chongyun’s design is a more modernized version (a hoodie with short sleeves), it shares similarities with the original designs.

Ningguang Ningguang is a wealthy businesswoman who leads the government of Liyue. She has a keen eye for new wealth opportunities and carries a Chinese opium pipe with her. The opium pipe was introduced in the late Qing dynasty, and was initially mostly consumed by women of high social status because of how expensive they were.

Ningguang is one of several female Liyuean characters to wear a hair stick. Hair sticks in China date back as far as possibly the Neolithic era, where they were given as part of a coming of age ceremony. Since then, their social role in Chinese society has expanded to the point where you can visually identify a woman’s marital status and rank based on her hair stick alone.

The Buyao (步摇, Step Shake) is a particular kind of hair stick that was popularised in the Han Dynasty and was worn exclusively by noblewomen in the royal family. They were made of gold, silver, jade, or other precious minerals as a sign of status. As the name suggests, buyaos have components which shake and move when you walk, and require a ladylike gait to successfully wear.

Genshin’s impact on the Proliferation of Asian Culture As a high profile game, Genshin Impact has an immense opportunity to Image from Capital Museum expose its players to different cultures and their intricacies. From this article on Liyuean fashion alone, you can see a lot of research into culture and history went into their character design. For people unfamiliar with these aspects of Chinese culture, it builds familiarity and sparks curiosity in Asian culture. For ABCs, this is a chance to engage deeper with our own background through the lens of a game we enjoy.

Genshin isn’t a historically accurate game, nor is it designed to be, but in keeping the little details of the countries they represent, the game preserves a small part of a culture that has existed for thousands of years.

Vol. XL, Issue I 13

What Chauvin’s Conviction means

By Mike Natrella for the future of Racial Justice

2

020 has been an exhausting year for everyone worldwide, coming to a screeching halt due to the global pandemic to America facing a reckoning with racial justice. Derek Chauvin’s murder of George Floyd led to the largest movement in U.S. history, with an estimated 15-26 million people marching to the streets demanding comprehensive police reform, accountability, and justice for the families falling victim to a broken system of systemic injustice and racist policing practices. With Chauvin’s recent verdict being convicted of second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter after 10 hours of deliberation over two days, it is necessary to address what this means for the future of racial justice in America.

New York City became the first city in the U.S. to end qualified immunity for police officers, allowing civil suits against officers behaving in misconduct, negligence, and/ or abuse of power. The U.S Supreme Court first introduced qualified immunity in Pierson v. Ray as a form of sovereign immunity intended to protect officials who “make reasonable but mistaken judgments about open legal questions.” This doctrine had the rationale of protecting law enforcement officials from frivolous lawsuits and financial liability in cases where they acted in good faith in an unclear legal situation. The preliminary ruling led to decades of unpunished police brutality, with scholars such as Amir H. Ali, a Harvard Law professor citing “qualified immunity permits law enforcement and other government officials to violate people’s constitutional rights with virtual impunity.”

Recent reports show that The Department of Homeland Security is conducting an internal review as part of an effort to combat extremist ideology and white supremacy. This review calls for officials to identify extremism in the Border Patrol, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, Secret Service, and Coast Guard. These actions are a result of Pres. Biden is making combating white supremacy a national priority, classifying such groups as top security threats. In 2019 dozens of Border Patrol agents privately joined a Facebook group that included racially obscene images of Latinx legislatures and threats to members of Congress. Christopher Paul

14 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Hanson, a lieutenant in the Coast Guard, was arrested and indicted on charges of unlawful possession of silencers, firearms, and possession of a controlled substance. His arrest was due to a plot to assassinate journalists, Supreme Court Justices, Democratic Lawmakers, and political figures. Among them are Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Maxim Waters, Sen. Richard Blumenthal, and several candidates in the 2020 election. Writings found on his computer show that he preferred focused violence and dreamt of ways to kill almost everyone on earth.

These efforts to combat white supremacy are a result of the racial justice movement and Black Lives Matter activism throughout the nation. The precedent for prosecuting law enforcement officers in murder trials is a deterrent for future officers abusing power and puts an end to the long history of the “shoot first ask questions later” mentality prevalent in law enforcement agencies—former Pres. Following this verdict, Barack Obama made a statement stating, “True justice requires that we come to terms with the fact that black Americans are treated differently, every day. It requires us to recognize that millions of our friends, family, and fellow citizens live in fear that their next encounter with law enforcement could be their last.” Pres.

Biden followed in a statement promising “real change and reform” and urged Congress to enact “legislation to tackle systemic misconduct in police departments, to restore trust between law enforcement and the people that they are entrusted to serve and protect.”

While the fight for justice is far from over, this is without a doubt a milestone for racial justice. Theodore Johnson, a senior fellow at the Brennan Center for Justice, said, “The expectation of injustice and then relief at justice is the sign of a broken system and a society that does not have faith in its ability to hold police officers accountable.” The nation has changed since George Floyd’s murder, but the question still stands on how Washington will respond to these changes. With true reform being on the horizon is a sweet reminder that we must not stop fighting. Without all our efforts to demand comprehensive legislation, participation in active demonstrations, and large-scale voting, we will revert to how we were. https://unsplash.com/photos/BP-Qop7aSO0

i consume asian media and trends i drink boba i watch anime i listen to kpop but am i asian enough?

am i asian enough?

By Sasha Goldstein

i can’t connect with that part of myself no matter how much i seem to try traveling to the philippines getting a traditional tattoo i still don’t feel asian enough growing up i knew i looked different people would make jokes call me slurs bring me down for talking about my culture i still don’t feel asian enough i was born in america i can only speak english i have a jewish name in a predominantly white neighborhood i never felt asian enough people told me i wasn’t white enough i wasn’t jewish enough they only saw me as asian as their token person of color i still don’t feel asian enough i can’t find a connection to my asianness it feels so distant although it’s all some people see it’s not what i feel i still don’t feel asian enough “where are you really from?” “you don’t look jewish” “what kind of asian are you? “you talk too much about being asian” i still don’t feel asian enough i feel like i’m fighting a losing battle with myself how do i find the connection i’m striving for? will i ever feel asian enough?

Phtoto from Sasha Goldstein

Vol. XL, Issue I 15

Late Night Thoughts

By Shirley Dong

“I don’t think all writers are sad, I think it’s the other way around all sad people write.” - Lang Leav

I thought that quote represented me well, in a sense that the more time I have to myself, the more thoughts end up in my mind.

In my past I left behind, not all thoughts are pleasant— especially in the present, as some of them keep me up at night.

As I saw the light that slowly flickers in the distance, I stay awake wondering my existence.

Although some people might call me an insomniac, I wish I was an amnesiac.

So that all the words I said, all the thoughts inside of my head, all the decisions I chose will not be disclosed.

I never wanted to write out my view because the moment that I do, it solidifies these thoughts as true.

But the truth I couldn’t tell you, leaves my heart feeling rather blue.

In hopes of the day, when I am okay and say the truth I wish to convey.

So my thoughts can be at peace, and my mind can then be appeased.

16 ASIAN OUTLOOK

https://unsplash.com/photos/TnPRWVKY2vo

ASU Ushers in Next Gen By: Justin Roman

On April 19th, 2021, the next generation of ASU was ushered as the

President for the 2021-2022 school year was determined. The offer was extended to Vanessa Wu, Class of 2023, which she graciously accepted. As current Secretary for ASU, Vanessa cited her extensive work on the current 2020-2021 Board of Directors as a valuable experience to learn from. On running for the position of President, Vanessa commented, “I’m not going to lie, I never anticipated to run for president last semester. However, this semester Nortee Panpinyo and Mike Messina created BPALC and led the rally, which really motivated me to run for president. I was so inspired to see these 2 people. I look up to do something so amazing. I want to be a larger part of ASU and with the experience I’ve gained through being a secretary, I think I have the potential to continue with my own goals and ASU’s goals.” When asked for comment on his successor, current ASU President, Nortee Panpinyo, said, “Vanessa is an amazing successor. She encompasses everything I strived to A main concern from the outgoing ASU Board of Directors was that do for ASU. Through my three years the current focus on activism will fade out once Binghamton University here I wanted ASU to become a place lifts Covid restrictions and organizations return to pre-covid activities. which would welcome others openly In addition, the work that the Binghamton Pan-Asian Leader Council and have strong community bonds.

(BPALC) did to connect the Asian clubs on campus will once again Vanessa grew so much from my first become undone without strong leadership. The incoming President time meeting her and she has learned addressed this concern with plans to create many new relationships to become both one of the most open with other SA organizations through many different types of collaborapeople and such a powerful leader not tions. These collaborations would focus on mental health, professional afraid to speak up for the community. development, and highlighting underrepresented communities. “HisI have full faith that she will continue tory is always changing but old history and the past never changes.” to advance and nurture this commuVanessa commented, “We need to keep ourselves updated with the nity.” past and learn from the potential mistakes people from our old organizations have made. We should keep in mind that documentation is always important and is especially important this year due to an online semester.” During elections one E-board member mentioned that the barriers between organizations are real and quite hard to break down.

Vanessa & ASU hope to foster these connections by not just connecting professionally, but creating friendships between general body members.

Vanessa states, “To the general body, step out of your comfort zone! It may be hard, but you can always start (it’s never too late!). I used to be so shy and afraid to attend events but after pushing myself and going with friends, I started feeling more comfortable with myself and wanted to reach out more.” With the 2021-2022 Board of Directors already decided, the community is very excited to return to on-campus events and see what is in store from all of them. Vol. XL, Issue I 17

The Importance of Cinema in Preserving Artistry

A

By Akshay Prasad

rt, by its most basic definition, is an expression of self through an artist’s creative skill and imagination. This expression presents itself in many different ways and is most apparent in the forms of media we consume. From the music we listen to, to the shows and movies we watch, artistry is something that surrounds and shapes us. It is almost impossible to imagine a world where your favorite musician does not exist, or where your favorite movie never came to fruition, which goes to show the lasting effects of art on your day to day life. This fact is important to note because what it means is that we are not only exposed to the piece of media itself, but also the themes and messages conveyed through it. Due to this, media, and particularly movies, plays a huge role in the ideals and messages we currently follow and ones that will be followed for generations to come. On top of this, an appreciation for films shows an appreciation towards the creative processes involved in their production. This includes everything from the brainstorming and writing of an idea, to the painstaking work involved with filming a movie. As time goes on, it is important to give attention to films that keep pushing the boundaries of creativity because they lead to the progression of art and preserve it for future generations.

When looking at how cinema presents themes and messages, we can evaluate how they are conveyed through the means of film itself. In short, we can look more deeply into what is being shown on the screen to take away

valuable societal lessons. There are many ways in which this can be done, as there are a great many things that can be picked apart. For example, let’s take a look at “Get Out”

by Jordan Peele. When looking at the story and examining its themes, we can see the plot serves as a metaphor for the African-American experience in America. The synopsis of the movie goes as follows: members of a prestigious white family, who are obsessed with black culture, believe black bodies are superior to white ones. Due to this, the elderly members of the family transplant themselves into young African-American individuals to live longer lives through a supposedly physically superior body.

While their actions are due to a belief that being black is “superior” to being white, the family in the film fails to truly understand the Black experience within America and all the hardships that come with it. This portrays the unhealthy obsession with black culture stemming from those outside of that community and how this is a form of racism in and of itself. The film, whilst harboring these themes within its core, is presented in the format of a horror/thriller movie with elements of comedy in it. This is an example of the beautifully interwoven artistry that is apparent through the medium of film. What is shown on screen captivates and intrigues the general audience through its use of filmmaking techniques, which then allows for this underlying theme to sweep in and stamp itself upon an audience’s consciousness for a very long time.

The importance of cinema in preserving artistry goes beyond looking at what is presented on screen to the general audience. We can go behind the scenes of the

“Either way, these ideas are a benchmark for creativity and provide the start for the moviemaking process.”

18 ASIAN OUTLOOK

final product and look at the production of these movies to understand what is worth preserving for the future.

Afterall, behind every great movie is a great idea. This idea can be derived from a single person thinking for the scope of a niche, fanatical movie watching audience, or it can come from a collective entity of like-minded individuals coming up with a product for a more casual Hollywood audience. Either way, these ideas are a benchmark for creativity and provide the start for the movie making process. Following this idea, an individual or team of writers has to come up with a screenplay for the movie, which extends the mark of creativity even further. We then get to things such as presenting the screenplay to a board of directors who have to approve it which, following a positive approval, goes to the stages of casting. Past all of this, we get to the actual filming of the movie, where the hard work and creativity of everyone involved takes place. Directors, who spearhead the filming of a project, can take creative liberties or make certain decisions that take a film down an artistic avenue of their own design. Actors can do the same, and whether they choose to deviate artistically from the source screenplay or not, they have to work just as hard to make a film succeed. Everyone else who works on a film, from the set directors to the make-up artists and everyone in between, works extremely hard on these grueling projects. This is a way that cinema preserves artistry. All of the behind-the-scenes action that happens in order to make a final project is an art in itself. By supporting cinema, you are supporting the artistry that happens behind the scenes just as much as what’s on the screen.

When thinking about artistry in general and how it affects your life, I will present a scenario for you. Try imagining a life where your favorite song never came out, or where your favorite television series never existed.

What you are probably thinking is something along the lines of “that is impossible for me to do,” or “I really can’t imagine my life without these forms of art.” Even if you could get past these questions, you probably would feel as if you are missing something in your life. You will definitely, in the absence of forms of media such as movies and songs, have less to talk about amongst friends and even family. You will also have less to reference and think about when societal issues are brought up to the forefront of our collective consciousness. This goes to show the effect and importance of media on our normal, everyday lives. It is ever-present, and even when we are not thinking about it, it is always going to be there for us to observe and draw from. Due to movies being a huge part of our culture, it is important to keep them as artistically challenging as possible. Audiences who gravitate towards these movies are now not only seeing a casual, fun film that helps to pass the time, but they are also being challenged mentally to think progressively about the themes being presented and the processes involved in making a film.

At the end of the day, cinema is important in preserving artistry because of its popularity and ability to reach a wide audience. Art, to a certain degree, makes up who we are, and with this ability to reach this many people, it is important to keep a high level of care for the craft.

My name is Akshay Prasad and if you enjoyed this article and you enjoy films, make sure to check out my radio show “The Cinema Spot” on Binghamton’s own radio station WHRW 90.5 FM!

Image from Universal Pictures

Vol. XL, Issue I 19

Time Heals Silly girl, it’s 4 a.m.; why are you awake?

Why are you throwing your body across the floor, scratching the walls, kicking your sheets, pulling your hair, digging your nails into your skin– Why are you yearning for somebody who’s sound asleep, not dreaming about you?

So close, But not quite there.

It's been a few months and I still question if we were really together, if you were really there.

If I close my eyes and think intensely, I can still find myself immersed in your arms, I can feel the warmth of your body.

But it’s all in my head isn’t it?

It’s all in my imagination.

I’m just so jealous that you get to sleep peacefully while I’m stuck in bed laying awake, feeling your memory.

I think I’m strong enough now to face you without breaking down yet I know, If you call out my name, I’d shatter and pieces of me would rain on you.

20 ASIAN OUTLOOK image from Lara Costafreda

Lily Tang

SENSORY OVERLOAD

By Anita Liu

It started when the grass began to breathe under me.

It came to life, growing towards the sunlight.

The clouds crawled across the sky, a lion turtle with the world on its back.

It feels like I’m in a video game— I look at my friend, the colors appear so dull, pale, gray, then they become saturated with the essence of life.

He has rainbow edges leaking out of his left side visceral color, imaginary lover.

Three layers of rotating patterns in the sky an airplane disturbs the peace, nobody else notices, it’s my secret.

We go inside watching the trees whisper to each other through my window.

The pale blue tiles in the bathroom move like ocean waves I see myself in the mirror, magenta cascades down from the left side of my head, coloring in my skin.

Fragments of the universe under the same sky a dimension exists above our heads, when you blink you see the crosshatched edges fade in and out layers of patterns rotating in the sky.

Lay on the floor see the stars sparkling on the ceiling.

They dance together and invite me to dance with them.

I am surrounded by twinkling stars that extend past my peripheral view horizon to horizon under a veil of stars that sparkle for my eyes only they dance in rotating geometric patterns see the asymmetry tango with symmetry I welcome the fear so i can see the beauty I feel connected to everything I finally allow myself to feel raw emotion unadulterated intimacy. the anxiety I have never lived until now. the bravery I feel the fear the love in the end I was always there for myself I was always the one that had to reassure myself that was my job alone to live my life for me.

I have never truly lived until now colors so vibrant, vivid, and alive— the world is speaking to me passionate expression and unapologetic joy the world we live in is whimsical if you blink you’ll miss it.

Sensory overload.

Vol. XL, Issue I 21 https://unsplash.com/photos/iKEZNiIHsbs

60 Things I Learned At Bing

By Mike Messina

Hello!

My name is Mike Messina, I’m a senior double majoring in physics and political science. I’ve been very involved on campus since my freshman year and would like to share some of the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the past four years.

I have been president of the Asian Student Union and president of Asian Outlook Media. I have also been an officer for the Society of Asian Scientists & Engineers, the Cinema Society of Binghamton, TaeKwonDo Club, and Explorchestra.

I worked as an events center employee, tour guide, and tour guide supervisor. I tried and failed to start a Self Defense Club. I tried and failed to become the Student Association’s VP of Multicultural Affairs (but ran a damn good campaign).

I helped organize a rally to combat Asian hate crimes and our administration’s gross neglect of racist incidents. I have been in countless rooms of activists, some of which have survived, others have fallen apart. I made my way to Washington, D.C. on two separate occasions, and a third occasion virtually. I was named the 2020 Trailblazer by the East Coast Asian American Student Union.

I have hosted, produced and written for four different podcasts and been featured on WHRW radio. I discovered a love of story and screenwriting. I have written stories that I’ve seen come to life on stage and on screen. I wrote an Asian horror film that I thought would never be made. Then, I co-founded a small production group that made it into a short film a few months later.

I have made friends here. I have seen these friends either drift away, move away, or pass away. Other friends, I’ve managed to hold onto.

I like to think that I’ve changed this campus for the better but it’s too soon to tell. I do know that this campus has changed me for the better. Below, I share 60 lessons I learned from my four years here.

Please reach out to me if you want to chat about what’s written. I would love nothing more than to talk through some points with someone!

For My Activists

1. Solidarity is key.

2. All the issues are connected.

3. Really listen to and consider the other side. You will either change your position to a more informed one or

keep the same position and be better equipped to debate the other side.

4. Administration knows that students get busy and graduate every four years. Their strategy is to change

nothing and wait you out.

5. Two things will influence a school administration: money and press.

6. Money comes largely from alumni donors and new students.

7. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Film it, write it down, keep those records for future generations to consult.

8. LEARN FROM HISTORY! It will inform your plans and fire you up.

9. Know the differences between protest methods. The wrong strategy can send a completely wrong message.

10. Students CAN make a difference. In fact, the term “Asian American” came from the student activists of the

Third World Liberation Front in the late 60’s.

11. To get people engaged, Trojan Horse those social issues. Promise a concert, a cultural show, a movie,

anything fun, and deliver social issue discourse through them.

12. “Cultural” programming and “political” programming for college clubs don’t have to be separate. In fact,

your cultural background has a lot to do with the current political world. They’re one and the same.

22 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Photo from: Daily Photo - Binghamton University

13. Do you unite the community first then pursue issues as a team? Or do you start addressing issues right

away as a lone wolf? The answer is both. In fact, the two feed into each other. Building a team will

let you gain momentum as you move forward. Acting as a lone wolf will motivate others to join you.

14. Build those interpersonal connections. Talk to people. It seems like it can seem like a small, short

term connection in the grand scheme of things. But if you do it consistently, it becomes a large, institutional connection.

15. Oftentimes, school administrations can’t help the community the way the students can help each other.

Consider, instead of relying on administration actions, ask administration for the resources for you

and your peers to put into use.

16. Performative activism is sometimes the first step to deeper activism, so don’t always attack someone for doing it.

17. Urgency. We don’t have time to waste time.

For My Executive Board Members and Student Leaders

18. Tailor your team’s goals with your individual team members’ goals. For example, if the marketing chair

wants a great personal resume, make the club’s goal to increase post engagement by 50%. This helps

club outreach while giving a nice quantifiable for your chair’s resume!

19. You can’t know how people will perform on a team unless you put them on the team.

20. Your vibe checks aren’t as accurate as you like to think.

21. Think through your election process. Fostering a spirit of competition, and therefore innovation, is key. A

“run down” system works best in my experience.

22. Beware the senior advisor role. At best, it frees up the most experienced members to pursue new projects.

At worst, it will siphon e-board talent into a position with no accountability and therefore no results.

To remedy this, require things of your advisors, limit the amount of advisors you allow, have them all

at every meeting and event, give them special projects with deadlines and, most importantly,

SET THE TONE for them.

23. If you build it, they will come…

24. But it really helps if you personally know the people who might come!

25. Do both! Do more! Better to try a lot than focus on the few… fail faster!

26. Challenge the status quo. To hell with tradition and precedents.

27. USE SOCIAL MEDIA. PUT OUT CONTENT. Never judge the platform. Make an Only Fans for your org if

you feel so inclined. And DEFINITELY make a TikTok. And consider a LinkedIn!

28. It is impossible to post too much on social media. Post a lot (posts that provide value and/or entertainment)

and the algorithm will make sure that each individual sees the amount of your content that is

perfectly suited for their taste.

29. Start a podcast! It’s a great way to create content and talk to new people!

30. If you’re worried about keeping your team accountable and feeling bad about it, set up an accountability

system early, something that everyone explicitly agrees on. That way, when someone is late to

something and pays a fine (or some equivalent situation), no one can blame you for punishing

someone; it was simply the system that was unanimously decided upon.

31. If you’re a president, don’t bear the burden of remembering everything yourself. Delegate that. Tell

e-board members to remind you of tasks at later times.

32. Don’t always delegate tasks. Rather, delegate goals and missions. Give your e-board room to do things on

their own, to find their own way, to leave their personal touch on things.

33. Constantly prompt your underclassmen to share their thoughts, ask questions and challenge the

conventional wisdom. Their fresh insight is invaluable.

For My Lonely or Depressed Folks

34. Reach out to people! Don’t feel bad about it!

a. Don’t dwell on your own lack of invites. Don’t think that you’re powerless.

b. Don’t be afraid to be the one proactively hitting people up to hang out, grab food, etc. It may seem

artificial or awkward, like dating, but that doesn’t matter.

Vol. XL, Issue I 23

c. Though it’s an uncomfortable truth, I’d say a good amount of our strongest relationships are

predicated on circumstance. Anyone’s best friend wouldn’t be so close to them if they

were born across the world or attended a different school, for example. If you remember

that strong friendships are equal parts compatibility and circumstance, then you realize it

isn’t your fault if the circumstances haven’t lined up for you to become BFFs with someone

or part of a group. HOWEVER this realization should also empower; now, you can force good

circumstances by being the one to hit people up.

d. Especially when you’re already several semesters into college, it can be difficult to enter new groups

or friendships “organically” or “effortlessly.”

35. Don’t romanticize your feelings to the point where you view them delusionally.

36. Talk to someone!

37. It’s not always something “wrong with you.” Sometimes it’s something wrong with your surroundings

(or past surroundings) and your response is totally healthy. And the modern world is definitely

not conducive to mental health.

38. Friendships are often harder than relationships. They’re more nebulous and loosely defined than romantic relationships.

39. A romantic relationship probably won’t “fix” whatever mental or emotional problems you’re grappling with.

40. Make time for friends and pointless antics. They’re worth sacrificing some sleep (and a few homework assignments) for.

For My Introverts

41. You’re not lesser than other people because you aren’t loud or don’t like to dance at parties.

42. Learn to be confrontational and direct when needed. It saves a lot of time and trouble. And it makes you feel strong

For My Asian Adoptees

43. You are Asian. You are a part of a very specific subsection of the same diaspora that turned native Asians

into Asian Americans.

For Everyone

44. Whatever you’re trying to do is possible. Keep trying, keep pushing.

45. Creativity is key. Modern problems require unique solutions.

46. If you are competitive, let it out. Being a competitive person can give you an edge in just about everything.

And learning to be okay with losing, to lose gracefully, will do wonders for your character.

47. Stay patient in the long term; growth and results come in infrequent spurts. Keep that hustle in the short

term; growth and results only come from consistent hard work.

48. Instead of using discipline and willpower, set the environment around you to be void of distractions and

ideal for whatever work you must do. Set rules for yourself so you don’t have to use energy deciding

what to do.

49. To wake up in the morning, set your alarm across the room right next to a tall glass of water. Upon waking,

you’ll be forced to leave bed. You’ll be thirsty so you’ll naturally drink the water. The water will

naturally kickstart your body and boost yourself awake.

50. There is a difference between defeating something and reconciling with it.

51. Work-life balance is not a fixed point. It changes for every person so frequently that it can’t be defined. You

need to constantly check in with yourself to see if you’re close to balanced.

52. We often define our entire lives by our career. When planning your future goals, don’t think about career

alone, think about your life holistically.

53. We assume the worst case scenario in the long term but best case scenario in the short term. We need to do the opposite.

54. Be comfortable being uncomfortable (and with awkward silences!)

55. Sometimes you need to establish your presence. In those times, speak up. Even when you don’t have

anything to say.

56. Don’t judge yourself too hard. Continue to grow, continue to push for more, but be kind to yourself.

24 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Picture from: Daily Photos Binghamton

57. Honestly examining yourself, your actions and your thoughts is an invaluable ability.

58. Doubling down on your strengths will bring victory. Doubling down on your weaknesses will build

character. Do both.

59. Find a process you love and a purpose you find fulfilling.

60. Love abundantly. Love is so powerful that many are afraid to say the word to one another.

TL;DR Macro Patience & Micro Hustle Learning & Unlearning Creativity & Love

Vol. XL, Issue I 25

Myanmar: The Coup Takes Over Again Interview By Emma Shen

O

n the evening of Thursday April 22, 2021, I had the opportunity to speak with Asian Outlook alumnus Haythi Ei and her mother Mrs. Ei. Mrs. Ei briefly was a researcher on Burma focusing on training woman on sexual violence and recording data on the sexual violence against ethnic woman and the poor in Myanmar’s marginalized communities and rural areas. This directly conflicts against the military government. As of February 1, 2021, the military junta took over Myanmar, which resulted in everyone fleeing the organization and destroying documents. More importantly, more than 800 lives have been taken since the coup occurred (reported by Reuters).

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity. An original version of the transcript is linked here: https://snuffalaughagus.wordpress.com/2021/06/16/myanmar-the-coup-takes-over-again/

ES: When you guys refer to your home country, is it Burma or Myanmar?

ME: So, Burma is a country name given by the British that was colonized in 1824. Before that, we called it something like a “Kingdom,” like feudalism. Actually, we have so many ethnic people. One of the ethnic groups is called Burma. So it seems like it represents the whole country, but the name Burma doesn’t represent all the other diverse ethnic groups. So in the military coup of 1988, they changed the country from Burma to Myanmar.

The reason they would like to tell the world is that there are so many diverse ethnic groups in the country. While the intention is good, it is bad because the junta, like today, did it forcefully. So the people of Burma don’t want to take this name. The United States also doesn’t want to recognize the name given by the military junta; that’s why they still keep saying Burma. And for the people in Burma now, after 30 years, they’re used to saying Myanmar. But for the opposition they don’t want to use the name Myanmar because it’s given by the military without any consent of the people.

HE: So using the name Burma means you’re denouncing the military. That’s why former President Obama used Burma instead of Myanmar. It has a big connotation. But personally, I say Burma because it’s just easier for people to pronounce.

ME: Actually, the military changed all of the country’s street names because they were given by the British.

This is like saying, “after colonization, we have to change everything. We are now independent.” The military is very nationalist because they use the nationalist card to get support from the people.

26 ASIAN OUTLOOK

HE: To hide their oppression, to hide their misdoings and human rights violations under the guise of nationalism.

ME: That’s what true authoritarians always do.

ES: How are you feeling right now with everything going on in Burma?

ME: There’s a lot of mixed feelings: upset, sad, depression. Every day not only are they trying to control innocent people on the street but people are also not safe at night; the military can knock it out and can take whatever they like. They also rob people of all their properties like phones. It really is lawlessness because if they have a gun, they get to do whatever they like. This is an authoritarian dictatorship. They always use that kind of method and tactic.

HE: The Internet is being cut off and they [the government] have been arresting famous authors, writers, activists and actors/actresses who have openly protested or resisted the government. Not only do they do that, they also have been detaining parents or family members [if they don’t find the person they want to arrest.] And so people have to run away and the families have to go into hiding. Right now a lot of people are going to the jungle and running away to Thailand. The whole situation is really disheartening and horrible. We feel the effects of it every day here. Seeing what they’re doing to our people while not being really able to do anything but feel lucky for being here [in America with my family].

ES: It seems like a lot of governments are taking advantage of the vulnerable situations that COVID-19 puts countries in --like in Senegal and Haiti-- to

get power and control. Do you feel like that was another factor in the military coup overthrowing the government in Burma?

HE: I feel like rather than the pandemic, what really pushed the military forward on the coup was President Trump’s call for fraudulent election votes. You remember how Trump was saying how the votes are fake and fraudulent, despite the numerous courts that testify to [Biden’s] authenticity and verification. So the military coup claimed that the votes in Burma were fraudulent because of what Trump inspired. So his inspiration directly led to the coup. Since a world stage leader–an American president– did that, other countries felt like, “Oh, if they could do it, then I can definitely do this, too.”

ES: What do you think is the most beneficial way for people to help? Any organizations that people could contribute to?

HE: You could be in prison for life if you...

ME: If you have one dollar in your hands, you can be sentenced for ten years. If you have an email from somebody who is against the government, you can go to prison for another 15 years. Some of my friends have 96 years of imprisonment because it all combines so many times. I mean, they call it crimes, but it’s not actual crimes. The problem is that the military authoritarians do whatever they like; there’s no real laws. They’re already trying to possess nuclear weapons, [and once they do,] that will be another card they’ll use when negotiating with other countries; it will become another North Korea situation.

Thank you to the Ei’s for being so generous in sharing the history and knowledge on the state of Myanmar right now.

ME: Ordinary people need to recognize the National Unity Government (NUG), a new parliamentary government elected by the people of Burma. So that’s the first thing. The second thing is for official recognition.

People need to call their congressmen and senators by messaging them: “This is a young democratic country.” The people of Burma really want democracy. They really want freedom. They really want to be proud. They are always just looking up to the U. S. as a father democracy, but there’s no action.; there’s no actional help or assistance from democratic countries. And then for the people of Burma, they don’t have arms. They don’t have any weapons; they don’t have anything. They only have their will and their voice. So with this scenario, what they can do is use all the means possible to support the people of Burma.

HE: Yes, share your support of NUG on social media or share articles to raise awareness of NUG and what’s happening in Burma.

Image from New York Times

ME: It’s very hard over there because they kill innocent people young– more than 80% are very young, like twenty-somethings or late teens, because they are the generations now. They protest the most because they don’t want to go back to the dark age: no freedom of expression, no freedom of using the internet. Not only are they cutting off all Internet, the military is cutting off everything.

HE: The era before 2008 essentially, like the era I grew up in, where having a book could land you fifty years in jail– that kind of era. And people don’t want to go back to that.

ME: Now it’s starting again.

Sources: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia56636345#:~:text=More%20than%20 700%20people%20have,three%20 people%20who%20have%20died. https://www.nytimes.com/article/ myanmar-news-protests-coup.html

Vol. XL, Issue I 27

Representation

By Michelle Xin

In China, I am an anomaly.

Elders gawk as I stroll down the streets of Shanghai conversing in a language that reminds them of a great Western power; they whisper when they see the rust-colored freckles dancing across my cheeks.

Judging when I struggle to speak in my mother’s mother tongue.

In America, I am a stereotype.

The age-old perception of the Oriental lotus flower shackles me to chains of quietude and submissiveness.

Modern norms reduce me to a statistic: A contributor to academic excellence, a competitive candidate within the highly selective processes of recruitment.

My ivory skin tinted yellow from the Huang He categorizes me under a label so narrow that there is no escape from the shallow abyss of prejudice.

Representation to me means a world of equal opportunity and justness.

A narrative that is inclusive and exemplary of my culture and the preceding generations that have cultivated such traditions.

28 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Vol. XL, Issue I 29

30 ASIAN OUTLOOK

Masatami Cauller

Vol. XL, Issue I 31

Seventeen

By Alexis M Yang

M

y mother said that you never feel as strongly as you do at seventeen. I never found that to be true until I walked home alone after junior prom, exhausted and dateless. I had spent the night in the corners of the gymnasium, drinking fruit punch and watching couples slow dance to all the year’s hits. Now I walked down a dark, tree-lined suburban street, my tie half undone and my suit rumpled. I had never felt so alone in my life.

In the weeks leading up to the dance, I’d allowed myself to think that I could take Susan Bridges. Every day in biology, we worked together and I tried to muster up the courage to ask her. When I finally began to ask, I never got the chance to finish. Brian Reed, the all-American quarterback, slung his arm around Susan and pulled her to him. He stared me down with his ice blue eyes, and that was that. Susan wound up slow dancing with six-foot-two, blond-haired Brian Reed.

Maybe I could have gone with Susan Bridges in another world, but it was the mid- eighties. The American Midwest. If you were Chinese in that sleepy small town, you could never fit in. I used to think that you could. I plastered my bedroom wall with American rock and movie posters. I dressed in blue jeans and striped t-shirts. I ate cereal every day for breakfast and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for lunch. But when I looked in the mirror, I still saw my black hair and honey-colored skin.

That night after junior prom, I imagined Brian Reed walking Susan Bridges home, and I kicked a rock down the street, sending it skittering down the asphalt. I wished somebody had spiked the fruit punch. I wanted to let the world fall away and forget my parents waiting at home, forget my upcoming applications to Harvard and Princeton and Yale, forget my final exams, forget my tennis tournament the next weekend.

As I walked down the street, an intuitive suspicion emerged in the back of my mind. Somebody was following me. I paused and glanced over my shoulder. In the yellow glow of the streetlamps, I made out the figure of a boy. I recognized him instantly: Brian Reed.

Brian had tormented me since the beginning of time, to the point where fear shot through my body whenever I spotted him. I could see the outline of his football player build. Although I biked and played tennis, I was barely five-feet-six and scrawny as a twig. He could beat me up in an instant.

“Hey, Lam,” Brian called.

My body tensed at his voice. I began to walk faster.

“Julian. Julian Lam.” I shivered as I kept walking, wondering why Brian wasn’t with Susan, why he hadn’t invited her over for dinner. If I had taken her to prom, I wouldn’t have ditched her after the dance. We would’ve sat down at my mother’s table to Chinese food, and then we’d talk and play a board game and I’d walk her home. She’d thank me and we’d wave goodbye.

“Julian,” Brian’s voice came again, and then suddenly he was right behind me. His hand clamped on my

32 ASIAN OUTLOOK

https://unsplash.com/photos/kxvn1ogpTtE

shoulder like steel. My breath stopped. I felt my heart pumping in my chest, rapid-fire.

“I heard that you’ve been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend,” he said over my shoulder.

I couldn’t let him know the truth. Couldn’t let him know about the flutters in my stomach, the seconds I managed to steal with Susan outside of classrooms, lockers, the heavy wooden doors of the school. The pink flush on my cheeks when I stared into the mirror at home, wishing that I could draw my cards again. Light skin and brown hair this time. Ace of spades.

“We sit next to each other in biology,” I mustered. It was the only thing I could think to say.

“No, that’s not all.” Brian’s voice cut like a knife, as if he was trying to pry some secret out of my heart. “I see you at school. Always making a move to talk to her. Trying to sit next to her in whatever class.”

I shifted my shoulder, trying to wriggle out from underneath his hand. That same hand had shoved and punched and knocked me around since elementary school. It had also rested on Susan’s arm, in her hair, entwined with her fingers.

Something like jealousy burned at the bottom of my heart, sticky and red-hot.

“I’ve wanted to give you a piece of my mind for a long time now, Lam. Do you really think that Susan would ever want to be with you?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could be anywhere else. The first image that came to me was home: my mother wrapping wontons, my father reading a book in the living room; the TV droning on quietly, mingling with my parents’ soft-spoken Cantonese. Our insular world closed off from the rest of the Midwestern town. It surprised me that I wanted to see my parents out of all people. They expected more and more from me with every passing year, to the point where I didn’t know what belonged to me and what belonged to them. They’d stuffed so many of their dreams into me that I thought I might burst. In those moments, there was nothing to do but escape—but when I escaped from that house, I entered another hostile world.

“You leave Susan alone,” Brian warned, his voice loud and harsh in my ear. “I won’t let you get near her, you c****.”

I turned around slowly. The slur burrowed inside my chest and blossomed like a pool of dark red blood next to my heart.

“You don’t understand,” I muttered.

“I’ll make you understand, Lam. If you ever try to hit on Susan again, I’ll—” I stopped listening to him. More than anything, I wanted to ask him if he’d ever felt alone. If he’d ever been the single black head among all the brown and blond, the blemish on the class photo. If he’d ever felt like an impostor in his own country, like his American birth wasn’t enough to prove his validity. If he’d ever felt burning embarrassment rise in his cheeks when his classmates heard his parents’ foreign accents. If he’d ever felt like a foreigner in his own soul, like his Chinese and American sides were at war with each other. If he’d ever wished that he could just fit in.

Susan Bridges always fit in. She was the only one of my classmates who truly saw me. For as long as I could remember, the rest of them looked through me like glass. Or even worse, they shot me a glance and then made it a point to ignore me. Brian first declared me an oddball in elementary school, when he shoved me into the schoolyard dirt and then pretended I didn’t exist. All the others followed suit.

Susan was different. On the first day of biology class, she entered the room with two friends. She said “see you after school,” and “call me later,” all the typical phrases tossed around in high school. As she slid into the chair next to mine and began doodling in her notebook, I envied her ease. Her “see you after school’s” and “call me later’s.” The sureness with which she navigated her effortlessly American life.

I wanted to ask her to prom because I thought she could see me. That when we spoke about schoolwork and music and movies, she didn’t look through me. Didn’t see the Chinese boy and nothing more.

Vol. XL, Issue I 33

Brian was still talking, but I interrupted him. “Brian, why aren’t you with Susan right now?”

He stopped, shocked and perplexed. “What did you say?”

“I asked why you aren’t with Susan. If I took her to prom, I’d invite her over for dinner and then I’d walk her home.

That’s what I would’ve done.”

Our eyes had barely met when his fist sailed into my face. Pain exploded in my cheekbone and then I was lying on the asphalt and I realized that my body had cracked against the ground. I tried to get up, tried to land some punches on him, but I didn’t have the strength.

I gave up. Brian had stopped hitting me and now I was lying there on the asphalt, my vision blurring. I thought I had grown immune to his attacks, but as I lay on the ground, it hurt like the first time he had knocked me down. It hurt like I was a child in the dirt of the schoolyard again, knees scuffed, children laughing all around. It hurt like I was looking in the mirror and realizing for the first time that I was different.

Brian’s figure retreated down the street. I thought he was running, but it was hard to tell. The only thing I kept thinking about was playing a board game with Susan Bridges. I knew why I hadn’t put up much of a fight. It wasn’t because I was scrawny or just barely five-feet-six. It was because right after my body hit the asphalt, I realized that

fighting back would have been no use. It was utterly plain to me now, no matter how much American music I listened to and how many American films I watched and how many American clothes I wore, the immutable fact of my appearance kept me from ever truly being American. The walk home was a hazy, excruciating blur. I planned to slip into the house quietly, but by the time I dragged myself home, I didn’t have the energy to tiptoe. As the door clicked shut, a light flicked on in the kitchen. My mother heard my footsteps and gasped when she saw me.

“Julian, what happened?” she asked in English. I shrugged and mumbled something about heading up to my bedroom.

Just as I began to turn for the stairs, she grabbed my shoulders and examined my face.

“Tell me the truth, son,” she said, her dark brown eyes searching mine and her forehead wrinkled in concern. “Who did this to you?”

“Mom, I’m fine. Just let me—” “No, no. Come here.” She took my arm and walked me a few paces to the kitchen, where she urged me into a wooden chair and began to blot napkins with rubbing alcohol. After a moment of silence, she asked, “Does it have to do with the dance?”

“Mom.” She knelt in front of me and dabbed a napkin against my cheekbone. Pain shot through my face and I winced. “You don’t have to lie to me, Julian,” she said.

I didn’t answer her for a long time. She kept tending to my face, her familiar silence oddly comforting. Her eyes were focused on my cheek; her eyes that had seen the old country, that distant land where she had been born, grown up, seen conflict, hunger, things I could not understand, things that created the ever-present wall between us. When I could finally speak, my voice broke, “Who am I supposed to be, Mom?” She looked at me for a long time without answering. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I blinked them away. I could hear the TV droning on in the living room. Before my mother responded, I heard footsteps. My father. Both of us looked at him as he emerged in the threshold, his face weary as he gazed at me.

When my mother finally answered, she did so in Cantonese with her eyes meeting my father’s. “Your father and I want the best for you.”

I had let my father down. His only son was not supposed to get into fights. All my life, I had done exactly what he wanted. School, books, exams, tennis. Shut up, work hard, don’t complain. Slip up and pay for it. Tonight was my first mistake. But he only looked directly at me, more sad than chastising, as if he understood why I’d been beaten up. Then

34 ASIAN OUTLOOK

he turned and went away just as quietly as he’d come.

My mother continued to clean up my face. Her hands moved gently but surely, like she’d practiced these motions, like she had everything figured out.

“Mom, I don’t know who I am.”

She placed the napkin down on the table. Without speaking, she reached out and smoothed down the front of my hair. She hadn’t done that since I was a little boy. “Julian,” she said, “you’re seventeen.”

I looked down at my lap and nodded. I didn’t understand my parents most of the time— their wishes and expectations, the weight of the past that they carried in their eyes. This time, I understood.

“Did you dance with the girl that you like?” my mother asked.

I blinked, shocked. “How do you know about Susan?”

“I can tell that you like a girl. I’m not blind, you know.”

“Well, I didn’t dance with her. Nobody would let me.”

If my mother didn’t know the cause of my injuries before, she understood now. She nodded and we didn’t speak for

a long time. It occurred to me that my mother was seventeen before, too, that somewhere in a faraway country she did not know herself, did not yet understand the secrets of her heart, her soul.

Just when I thought she was about to get up and leave, she said, “Go speak to that girl.”

“What?”

“Visit Susan. If nobody was there to judge, she would dance with you, no? So visit her.” “You mean right now?”

“Yes, now. Before you get too old and think twice about it.”

My mother had never spoken to me so directly before. She’d ordered me around, told me what to study and what career to pursue, but we’d never understood each other as clearly as we did then. Everything I thought I knew about my mother went out the window, and with it went everything I’d assumed about myself.

She began to adjust my tie. The fabric rubbed against the back of my neck and it was comforting despite the pain in my cheek, despite the slur that had buried itself beside my heart. When she’d redone my tie, she gave me a tired smile. I knew that her face would soon become cryptic, the opaque curtain dropped between us, the generational divide insurmountable once again. I didn’t know much, but I knew I couldn’t let this moment slip away.

I gave my mother a small nod. A sign of appreciation. We stood and she placed her hands on my shoulders for a brief, precious moment. Already I could see the veil beginning to shroud her face. “Go on,” she urged me.

I stepped out into the warm night, the door clicking shut. Then I walked out onto the street, my mother standing in the illuminated window and my father reading in the living room and the TV still droning on.

I didn’t worry about running into Brian Reed again. When I reached Susan Bridges’ house, I stood for a few seconds in front of the porch steps, gazing at the yellow light emanating from the windows. I felt far away from the competitive pressure of high school, far away from the weighted history of home too, as I stood in this place that was neither here nor there. I didn’t formulate any greetings, didn’t decide what I’d do if she closed the door in my face. I only walked up to the front door and knocked.

https://unsplash.com/photos/lO4H2oujMPs

Vol. XL, Issue I 35

P S

N

U

R P

36 ASIAN OUTLOOK

G G

E T K S A E Z EL TR C IE P

@asianoutlook

WANT TO BE FEATURED? Email ao.editor@gmail.com ISSUU SPOTIFY FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM