Well-being Special Issue 13 December 2017 1
Your Story Here!
Do you want to share your stories and experiences of being part of Aspire?
Are you working on a M. A. D. project you’d like us to feature?
Would you like to share something that your accountability partner from an event, or your Aspire Foundation mentor or mentee has been working on that they’re too modest to tell us about themselves? Why not drop our editor a line - editor@theaspirefoundation.org - and you might be featured in a future issue!
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Welcome to your Aspire Magazine Welcome to the new issue of your Aspire Magazine... We’ve had a short break, but we’re back! I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who got in touch in response to our email in October, we were inundated with your offers to get involved.
I think it speaks volumes for how much the theme of this magazine resonated with everyone. Wellness, mindfulness, self-care and stress management are hot topics at the moment, but for a reason - we live in a fastpaced, demanding world where we’re constantly juggling responsibilities. As such, it’s easy to put looking after ourselves at the bottom of the ‘to do’ list, which is a recipe for stress and, potentially, burn-out. We’ve pulled together some of your top tips for how you manage this. If you try any of these, we’d love to hear whether they worked for you.
I really hope you enjoy this month’s magazine, I’d love to know what you think! You can email me here.
What ’s inside ...
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Update from Dr Sam Collins, CEO and Founder of Aspire Talking about Work and Your Mental Health - by Abigail Berry Mindfulness at Work - by Estelle Christmas
Top Tips for Managing Stress - by Maryam Ehsani The Aspire 2017 M. A. D. Leadership Conference - Coming Soon! Things I’ve Learned Since I Quit My Job - by Brigitte Lawler Social Media and WellBeing
Emma Aspire Newsletter Editor
One from the Archives… Show Yourself Some Love
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Aspire Update By Dr Sam Collins I set up the Aspire Foundation in 2010 after watching a CNN report about pregnant women in Afghanistan who were having to make treacherous journeys by donkey to birthing clinics. At the time I was pregnant too, but being looked after by my husband in the comfort of my home, I was struck my how different my experience of pregnancy was from that of the women featured in the report. Women for Women International, a global charity for women survivors of war, featured in the report. I contacted them to offer my support by arranging mentoring from the Aspire coaching team to their senior management team. This was so successful it made me think: what if Aspire could tap into it’s network of inspiring and talented leaders from the corporate sector and offer them the chance to make a difference too? The Aspire Foundation was set up to offer women and men from the corporate world the opportunity to give something back by mentoring aspiring women from charities and social enterprises. Our vision was to create a positive ripple of change by providing mentoring to women making a difference to help them make even more of a difference. You will have seen my email from earlier this year that explained that the Aspire Foundation Mentoring Program was now coming to a close. We really believe that it came to a natural conclusion, yet I’m so pleased to hear from so many of you that you’ve maintained your mentoring relationships. We maintain our goal to positively impact one billion women by 2020, and we will achieve that through our transformational work in our Aspire webinars, M.A.D. (Making a Difference) conferences and events. We are delighted that we have already conducted 27 events this year attracting hundreds of our Aspire Foundation mentors and mentees on scholarship. I will continue to campaign for women’s equality and will continue to lead our events. For current mentors and mentees, we’re still here to support you as you complete your mentoring journeys and we will still be offering scholarships for you to attend Aspire webinars, conferences and events. I am so proud of the fact that we have positively impacted the lives of 16 million women and girls since 2010. There is still work to do before we hit our goal, but there are still 3 years to go and we will continue changing the lives of women through our global webinars, workshops and M.A.D. conferences. Last year we empowered women through webinars across the globe; several one day workshops; conferences in London and Chicago; and recently held our first M.A.D. Leadership Conference for girls aged 11 – 17 years old (it was amazing!) I do hope you will join me in celebrating the Aspire journey to make a difference in the lives of women and support our 'M.A.D' work going forward. I am in awe of the work that you do and your constant determination, resilience and support of us. 5
Talking About Work and Mental Health Abigail Berry is Member Services and Events Manager at Directors UK. She contacted us to tell us about how her company has recognised the need to support their members and the steps they’ve taken.
This year it seems that mental health awareness has become a part of the public consciousness. With the very high-profile interviews given by Prince Harry revealing that he has had therapy, there has been more discussion in the UK press about mental health than ever before. In the UK, with our famously stiff upper lips, we don’t generally acknowledge, or value our emotions all that much, which is why 2017 could be seen as a watershed moment for bringing psychological issues to the centre of discussions about society and behaviour. The membership organisation I work for, Directors UK, has recently taken steps to make sure all staff are informed about mental illness, through providing some training through the Mental Health First Aid (MHFA). In my role, as the Member-Services and Events Manager, I have also begun to respond to the psychological needs of our membership. In this piece I will give you an idea of both the staff and member-facing workshops, so you can understand how mental health issues can manifest themselves and be addressed in the office and in a freelance environment. The half-day course we took as a staff team looked at the stereotypes associated with mental illness, the distinction between mental well-being and mental health and how the two intersect. This course emphasised just how many people are affected by mental health issues – at least one in six employees will suffer from stress, anxiety or depression at some point, meaning that if you work in an office, you will most likely be encountering at least one person who is affected by one of these conditions on a daily basis. As many people do not self-disclose mental illness on HR monitoring forms, this number is very likely to be much higher. The session ended by looking at the symptoms of the three most common mental health conditions; depression, stress and anxiety, how to spot them and what you can do to help. The MHFA course helped solidify a concern of mine about creative freelancers - the whole of the membership that Directors UK supports. If it is hard to maintain a lifestyle that is amenable to sustaining your well-being; having a steady income, a routine, colleagues, a degree of job security, what is it like when you don’t have that support but have the responsibility to lead a production? Directors, and indeed many creative freelancers, swing between spurts of intense pressure, stress and attention, to periods where you work alone and can feel incredibly isolated. When your professional reputation is even closer to your personal identity, this life of extremes can severely impact on your well-being if you don’t take steps to prevent it. 6
To see if there was a way in which we could help anyone in the membership who was suffering, and to recognise the prevalence of such issues in our society, we held a talk as part of the regular events programme for members. This really was an experiment, we were not sure about the response we would get or whether anyone would attend and were very conscious of some who may have felt too vulnerable to show up. It was therefore set up as a strictly confidential evening. Creating a safe space was at the forefront of our planning, it would be a disservice to members and the concept of talking about mental health for it to be otherwise. Mental health needs and management are different for every individual. The responsibility for looking after your mental health ultimately lies with you, but having the awareness of symptoms and just how many other people have mental health issues can be helpful in creating your own coping mechanisms. This is the case whether you are fully employed or freelance, in order to keep you functioning at your best. The benefits of recognising and talking about mental health with others might also make you a better colleague, or, in the case of our membership, a better director. For example, if a member of your cast is displaying symptoms, being aware of this early on might prevent a more serious impact on the shoot further down the line. Since doing the office training, we have had further discussions about designating a member of staff in each team to be trained further. As a manager, you can only do your job better if you have methods in handling such issues if they are present in your team. Holding this session for staff gave some individuals in my organisation the psychological ‘permission’ to speak about their own well-being. In my view, anything that a workplace can do to encourage people to talk about this is a step towards meaningful, societal change and a breaking down of the taboos associated with mental health. 7
We’ve compiled all our Aspire articles, news and resources into one blog called Aspiration. We’re sharing these in support of our goal to make a difference to 1 billion women and girls by 2020. Access at no cost today over 10 years of Aspire inspiration and empowering thinking to achieve your biggest life, work and world aspirations. Every month we will share a new free article with either top tips, research, news or commentary as related to women as leaders including this month's new article, 'Building Blocks for the Girls'. Click here now to sign up and access. Do let us know that you do want to 'opt in' to future articles so you can access them whenever you want.
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Mindfulness at Work Estelle Christmas, Chief Operating Officer at Autism at Kingwood talked to us about how her company has embraced mindfulness for it’s positive impact on it’s staff...
Autism at Kingwood actively embraces Mindfulness and takes the mental well- being and resilience of our staff very seriously. We acknowledge that our staff are our key resource and through nurturing and encouraging them to look after themselves, we can ensure excellent outcomes for all our stakeholders. When someone joins us, we encourage Mindfulness and offer all staff a month’s free subscription to the Headspace app so that staff can undertake daily mindfulness exercises in their own time. We also start all senior management meetings with a Mindfulness exercise. We recognise that everyone is different and one size does not fit all! For those that find listening to Mindful exercises a challenge, we provide Mindful colouring books so that members of the team can sit quietly whilst others are meditating. We’ve found that Mindfulness has led to more focused meetings, enabling better decision making and individual contributions, as well as increasing clarity and momentum. This in turn promotes the effectiveness of the organisation and has a ripple effect throughout the work that we do. I would recommend Mindfulness to anyone who wants to improve their performance at work.
You can access the Headspace app, with free guided meditations, here 9
Top Tips for Stress Management Maryam Ehsani is one of our mentors. Maryam leads the development of the international movement to safeguard children. She supports more than 70 international, national and local organisations working in every almost country and serving millions of the world's most vulnerable children. She got in touch to share her top tips for managing stress…
We all think that stress can’t be managed.. Well I will definitely disagree with this statement! Stress, like anything else in our life, can be controlled. However, before we start practicing this method we’ll need to approach your thoughts and way of thinking. Try these steps:
1. Stop and think - identify the source of your stress 2. Replace bad habits with ones that will help deal with the stress - it might be tempting to shut yourself away with a glass of wine, but instead why not listen to your favourite music, go for a long walk, take a bath with lavender oil or cook your favourite meal? 3. Be around the people you love - try and avoid seeing people who take your energy away. Focus on being around happy people 4. Create a happy to-do list - things you always wanted to do and never had the time. Stress can waste a lot of your time, instead use that time to do the things you always loved to do! 5. Believe that sometimes you can’t change everything. But you can always change how you think about things and how you react to them.
Why not try the following exercise: 1. Write down what you have in life- all the great things you have and you are surrounded with. 2. Write down the things you don’t have but you want to have later in life.
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Then put the list together and see how many of each items you have? Be honest with yourself! There are so many things that we have in life but they go unnoticed! For example, I am grateful because: 1. I can wake up every day and be able to breath 2. I can have a conversation with my friends/families when I want by using different technology tools or face to face 3. I can think about managing my stress and living a happy life! 4. I can be grateful for being myself and sharing love with the universe. 5. I can smile and cherish someone else’s life by a small act of kindness.
Believe me if I can do it, you can also! First you need to believe and the you can achieve it.
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M. A. D. Leadership Conference Join us for the Aspire 2017 M. A. D. (Making A Difference) Annual Leadership Conference in London on 4th and 5th December where you will: Develop the skills of exceptional M.A.D. leadership: Be inspired to think bigger & define your leadership, career and making a difference vision for 2018. Learn about the real life reality and career paths of women leaders. Gain top strategies on achieving new definitions of success, work/life balance, self care and resilience that challenge the norm and contribute towards organisational change. Increase your courage and become fearless to achieve your personal, organisational and community goals and aspirations. Be inspired and empowered: Gain clarity on your unique purpose both personally and organisationally as a key to achieving success. Increase your authenticity, confidence and gravitas to create greater personal and professional impact especially with challenging people and situations. Learn about some of the specific organisational and socio-cultural challenges for women as leaders and gain new ideas for diversity and inclusion. Develop time leadership skills to move from being too busy and day to day to being a successful strategic leader of your time, life and career. Network & take action: Share ideas, best practice and contacts, improve your networking skills, meet (or become) a mentor or role model and receive advice and support. Leave with an inspiring and practical action plan that will propel you and others to make your goals a reality in 2018 and beyond. Build a strong network of like-minded peers that will enable the sharing of ideas, resources and accountability to make sure you stay on track post event and achieve results. Get out of the office to focus on yourself, come out of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself. Helps to keep you on your toes and out of your inbox! The 3 Part Programme includes: Part 1 - 60-Minute Preparation Webinar at 2.00pm UK time on 21st November 2017 (attend live or receive recording). Part 2 - The M.A.D. Leadership 2 Day Conference in London, UK on 4th and 5th December, 2017. Part 3 - ‘No Excuses’ Online Follow Up 60-Minute Webinar at 2.00pm UK time on 11th January, 2018 (attend live or receive recording). You can find out more and sign up here.
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Things I’ve Learned Since I Quit My Job Brigitte Lawler is one of our Aspire Foundation Mentors. She wrote to us to tell us about a big change she’s made and what she’s learned
7 things I’ve learnt since I quit my perfectly good job... For a while I had been a little restless. I’m sure you know what I mean, just about everyone has experienced it some time or another. I’ve had this feeling that was a bit like a small stone in my shoe that annoyed me when it lodged in certain positions, but that I could shake out of my consciousness by jiggling my foot about. Not completely removing the offending stone, just getting it out of the way until later. There was really no reason to complain about my job. It was a perfectly good job at a good multinational organization. The pay was decent, I have travelled the world, I have had several promotions and loads of global exposure, as well as mostly working with wonderful colleagues, so really nothing to complain about. No need to make a fuss. Until I realized it was no longer what I wanted and I decided to quit. I made a decision that will alter the course of my life. It’s a big deal. It took courage and the conviction that I owe it to myself to lead the life that I want. That’s what self-care means to me today: having courage to take a chance on Me. And I’ve learnt a lot since then, like:
I don’t need a crisis or dramatic trigger to make a change. Realizing that I am not as happy or fulfilled as I believe I can be is reason enough to make a change. Incidentally, these wise words of advice were given to me by a dear friend almost 20 years ago and that resulted in me breaking up with long-time boyfriend, but that’s a story for another time!
I quit my perfectly good job because I no longer want a lifestyle that revolves around having a job. I don’t want to balance work and life. I want a life that I completely enjoy, made up of doing many things, some of which will generate some earnings I hope, and all of which are my choice and brings me value. Somebody talked about building a life that you don’t need a vacation from. That’s what I want.
I am courageous and acting on that courage feels great! I am excited and exhilarated and terrified and calm all at the same time, and I just know this is right.
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The voices of reason that I imagined were all just in my imagination. I had spent a few weeks in careful deliberation, and I often had thoughts like “what will my parents say?” My parents are the voice of reason to me. They are good, decent people with solid values and a strong work ethic. Do you know what my parents said in reality? “Bravo! Oh Wow! We are so excited, you have so much talent and we’re so happy you finally realized that you can do and be so much more. We can’t wait to see what’s next” That blew me away, and made me realize that I what I thought I knew was really just me getting in my own way. It really helps to have a champion. My husband is my biggest fan and it feels great that someone has my back. I’m not trading in my precious independence when I allow myself to take his hand and go through this experience together. It sounds simple but this has probably been the hardest lesson for me to learn so far. Being able to make such a life choice is a privilege. We are not wealthy, we do ok. My choice comes with certain financial risk that is not easy to ignore. However, I am very much aware that I am fortunate to be able to step into the unknown. I feel it is a privilege and not one that I am willing to waste. I am determined to make something great come of this. I am surrounded by love and appreciation. I have never felt it so strongly as now and because of that, I know that I have positively impacted and inspired others. I am purposefully taking that into the next chapter of my life. So I am at the start of something new, on a path of curious discovery. I’m not sure where my journey will take me, but I know it will be an interesting one and what I have learnt here is just the start. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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Social Media and Wellness By Emma Barrett
Social Media has brought us many good things - it’s made keeping in touch with friends and family easier, it’s helped us to make new friends across geographical boundaries and it can help you to find communities with shared common interests (search “#yoga” on Instagram and you’ll find over 41m photographs tagged) - but is it messing with our sense of wellbeing?
It was thought that social media use was related to increased rates of depression and it’s easy to see why - people’s feeds rarely show their full lives, just curated elements of it which look beautiful or have a funny story attached. I post a lot of pictures of food I’ve made, but I’ve never once posted a picture of the pile of washing up created in making that food. We all just post the bits we want people to see, but then we can feel overwhelmed by the perfection we see on other people’s pages.
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And then there are the trolls. Trolls were originally people posting on discussion forums who derailed the conversation but now are more associated with on-line abuse, quite often aimed at women and minority groups. However, recent studies have delved a bit deeper and uncovered some interesting revelations that Social Media may not be as bad for our well-being as once thought. There are some caveats - scrolling through Twitter when you should be sleeping will not do you any favours, and being a passive consumer of content (just looking) is more associated with some of the negative impacts than being active (posting and engaging with people) - but a study conducted by BBC’s Trust Me I’m a Doctor show that whilst 20% of posts invokes negative feelings (sadness, anger, envy), but over twice as many (43%) invoked positive feelings and 37% didn't invoke negative or positive feelings. Humans are social animals and we generally feel better when we feel part of a group, and sharing our news is part of that. The time we spend on social media can have an impact - anything more than a couple of hours a day can increase the amount of negative feelings we experience as we scroll through our various feeds. It’s also worth thinking about the content you’re exposing yourself to and taking steps to make sure you stop following or mute any accounts that leave you feeling negative. Everyone is different though and can react to the same content in different ways: do people’s holiday’s pictures make you green with envy or look forward to the future? Do #fitspo posts make you want to don your Lycra or make you feel like a failure? Once you know what has a positive or negative impact on you, then you can start managing the content you consume and the impact it can have on your well-being. Here are some social media accounts we love, what are your favourites? @DrSamCollins Sam shares motivational quotes, inspiring thought-pieces and news of Aspire webinars, conferences and events
@bodyposipanda Megan Jayne Crabbe is a blogger who believes that all bodies are beautiful and all bodies are worthy of love and respect @MichelleObama The former First Lady uses Twitter to showcase her work with the Obama Foundation and Better Make Room, a campaign for better access to colleges.
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One from the archive...
Show yourself a little love... ♥ Don’t compare yourself to others. “Comparison is the death of joy” (Mark Twain) ♥ Say “no” when you need to ♥ “Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world” (Lucille Ball) ♥ Practise gratitude ♥ Keep a note of all the positive feedback and comments you receive to look back on when you doubt yourself ♥ Talk to yourself as though you’re you own best friend. You would never tell a friend she was rubbish at her job or needed to lose weight, so why say it to yourself? “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others” (Christopher Garner, mindfulness practitioner) ♥ Ask for help if you need it ♥ Try making time for yourself, even if it’s just 10 minutes of reflection on the day before you go to sleep ♥ Stop worrying about other people’s opinions. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind (Dr Seuss) ♥ Do something you love, like pursue a hobby you’ve always wanted to try ♥ Treat yourself. Buy yourself the box of chocolates and enjoy them! ♥ Surround yourself with people who treat you with kindness and respect
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