A Marriage Made in Heaven

BY RABBI MENDEL FELDMAN, CHABAD LUBAVITCH OF THE MARITIMES

The 18th day of the Hebrew month of Elul (this year August 26) known as Chai Elul, has special significance for several reasons.

In terms of preparation for the New Year it marks the last twelve days of the current year. Based on a teaching of the Baal Shem Tov, the last 12 days of Elul, provides us with a final opportunity to correct the shortcomings of the previous 12 months (each day corresponds to a month in chronological order), so that the New Year will begin with a fresh, clean slate.

“Chai Elul” (the life of Elul) also marks the birthday of two great luminaries, the birth of the founder of the Chassidic movement, Rabbi Israel Baal Shem-Tov (5458-1698) and the birth of the founder of Chabad Chassidus, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (5505-1745). Their teachings subsequently infused new life, joy, and warmth into Judaism.

Our sages compare the relationship of the Jew and G-d to the relationship of a husband and wife. It is no secret that our current relationship with G-d needs some improvement, and the institution of marriage in today’s society is also in need of improvement.

This is where Chassidic teaching has much to offer:

Both marriage and religious observance require deep commitment. Let’s begin with marriage. When a couple gets married because they are attracted to each other, and merely anticipate the personal satisfaction and pleasure that they can gain from the relationship, the foundation of such a marriage is fundamentally flawed, as soon as struggles and challenges of real life kick in, the marriage will crumble. A relationship cannot endure on a foundation that is merely pleasure and self gain.

True love is when each partner is totally consumed with the other’s needs, no matter the challenge and personal discomfort. A marriage that is based on commitment rather than pleasure is more durable and brings much blessing. So too, in a marriage that is based on deep commitment, the inadequacies of a spouse are forgiven and forgotten.

The same is true of the Jew’s relationship with G-d. To some, life’s purpose is to achieve success and personal gain and their commitment to G-d and Torah is conditioned on these life’s successes. The level of Jewish observance of such a philosophy is very flimsy, if one’s goal is pleasure and personal gain, then what happens when it becomes tough to be Jewish?

Chassidism inspires a Jew to be committed to G-d and His commandments with a love and loyalty that no difficulty can shake. It imbues the Jew with a dedication to the ideals of Judaism, and to contribute to the betterment of the world at large even at a cost of making personal sacrifices.

When our relationship to G-d is based on a deeper commitment, He responds in kind, He forgives and forgets our inadequacies and spiritual failings. Chai Elul imbues the month of Elul with Chai—life and warmth and allows us to begin the New Year freshly invigorated.

Wishing you and yours a Happy, healthy, and sweet New Year.