When Late Night Thoughts are Bourne

WHEN LATE NIGHT THOUGHTS ARE BOURNE FREDDIE BOURNE With

TIME OFF IS AS IMPORTANT AS TIME ON

Iread that quote over the New Year weekend celebration. While I enjoyed my time off, I had my sights set on getting a head start on the work week ahead. This continues to be a non-stop argument I have in my head almost every weekend when rethinking my stance on productivity.

But, I realized that much of that thought process is a product of my previous careers where I felt that I always had to be “on” - checking my email constantly every time a red circle with a number popped up; checking Facebook in case there was something I needed to be prepared for in regards to my work load; and forgoing sleep in case I received a call about something that might impact my work activities, even if I was out of town hours away.

Maybe it’s a nervous tick. Maybe it’s the need to feel more prepared and stave off the anxiety of under-preparedness. Or maybe it’s me losing sight of what’s considered important. The job I have now does encourage that time off. When I got hired in, the person I took over for told me to use the weekends for what they are meant for - to rest, relax, and focus on the other important things that will be there when the job may not be even a part of your livelihood. Many of my previous jobs drilled the idea of self-care into mine and my colleagues' skulls, only to not really practice what they preached. Despite currently working in a position that is pretty much dependent on what is happening around me and the county every second (I'm a news reporter), I rarely feel the certainty or obligation to expect a phone call from a superior.

And yet, my attitude shows otherwise - I'm still constantly on my phone in case “something” happens, thinking about what I have to accomplish for my day job when I’m working my second job as a musician and talking about work instead of focusing on the music.

It gets upsetting. Especially when you realize that even if you are satisfied with what you’re doing, you cannot kick the old habits as post-traumatic stress and the Sunday scaries still echo as fresh as five years ago when it was commonplace that the work never stops.

Take a deep breath and exhale. That email that was sent to you on Friday night will be there Monday morning. It can wait. The work week is used to get caught up on work. The weekend is used to get caught up on life. “TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND EXHALE. THAT EMAIL THAT WAS SENT TO YOU ON FRIDAY NIGHT WILL BE THERE MONDAY MORNING. IT CAN WAIT. THE WORK WEEK IS USED TO GET CAUGHT UP ON WORK. THE WEEKEND IS USED TO GET CAUGHT UP ON LIFE."

PHOTO: EMILY PELSTON