5 minute read

Sex with C

Sex with C - I am the all wise and knowing hoe – I love sex and am here to answer any questions thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Thoughts about hooking up with your best friend’s boyfriend at a festival?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. Unless the three of you have some kind of polyamorous arrangement then that’s ok but going and hooking up with your best friend’s boyfriend at a festival is one of the lowest things a person can do. Firstly, you’re at a festival that’s literally full of horny 18-25- year olds that you can choose from so why choose your mate's man? Secondly, what fucking thought process runs through your mind that leads you to the conclusion that this is an appropriate decision to make? The boyfriend would also be in the wrong too, like are you both genuinely that dim-witted? If you go around your everyday life thinking that it’s ok to do that kind of shit, then you’re nothing but a cockmonging wet wipe.

Will coronavirus have an effect on NZ hook up culture?

The only effects coronavirus has had an impact on so far is the amount of people who use PornHub. Once we go back down to level two it will honestly be like letting a bunch of wild rabbits out of the cage, all anyone will want to do is fuck (myself included).

Why are all the nice guys done dirty?

Speaking from my own personal experience and opinions, as a girl, I want what I can’t have. Nice guys are always available, so I usually get bored within the first few days or week of talking to them. Nowadays I think most nice guys fall into the ‘simp’ category and although some people may enjoy that, I personally do not. It just seems desperate to me and I am heavily turned off by even the slightest trace of desperation. Also, most nice guys that I have talked to on Tinder honestly have some of the worst chat. Which makes me feel so bad when I end up ghosting them because they are genuinely nice people. I can’t make the claim that all girls have the same mindset as me, but hopefully this sheds some light on why you feel like nice guys are done dirty.

Had a dream we fucked

That’s cute love hold onto that, it’ll be the closest you get to the real thing x

How do I get p*ssy

Look up a wikihow article. In all honesty though Tinder is literally there for that purpose and is probably the easiest way of getting a hookup. Just make sure you don’t start off the conversation too hard with a mind-blowing opener of “hey.”

How to identify/tell if someone is safe to go home with?

I think this is something that will never be easy to tell, as people can be so misleading. In my life I’ve only gone home with someone I’ve just met in town once, and that experience was not the best. Me and my friend met these two older guys in Ponsonby and through miscommunication we ended up going back to their flat with them. One of the guys was very insistent on me hooking up with his mate and kept pushing me to do so (I really did not want to – sorry Johnny) and I was very fucked on drugs/alcohol at the time so it resulted in me running outside to the corner of their backyard and calling my dad at 5am to come and pick me and my friend up. Obviously, people have experienced far worse situations than me, and that’s a scary thought. But I think some good ways to tell if a person is safe to go home with is the kind of people they’re with (if they’re alone then I would probably steer clear), how pushy they’re being with you, and if they’re respecting your personal space or not (i.e., making cheeky grabs, etc.). Also PLEASE make sure to always keep an eye on your drinks in town.

Are people obligated to be upfront and honest if all they want is sex?

I don’t think it’s an obligation, however if one of the people involved is hinting at something more than I think it is the morally correct choice to tell them in order to avoid anyone being misled.

How to navigate the anxiety and pressure of NZ’s intense hookup culture e.g., feeling pressured to have casual sex

If you don’t want to have casual sex, then don’t. It’s nobody’s business what you get up to behind closed doors and it isn’t something that should make you feel ashamed. Sex is sex, you are allowed to go at any pace you choose whether that’s fucking as many people as you can in a month or only wanting to have sex with people who you have an emotional connection with. If it’s causing you anxiety, then identify what’s giving you the most anxiety and separate yourself from it. So if you see it all over social media then give yourself a break. If your mates are giving you shit then firstly, they’re not very nice mates, and secondly tell them to get fucked. You should never be made to feel like you have to do something, especially if it’s something as personal as sex.