Debate issue 25 by Debate Magazine

Issue 25 | OCTOBER 2013 www.ausm.org.nz

Issue 25 | October 2013 Directory

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Cover

by Ramina Rai

EDITOR

Matthew Cattin matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz

sub editor Nigel Moffiet

designer/PHOTOGRAPHER/FUN Ramina Rai

contributors

Illustration & Photography Matthew Cattin | Ramina Rai

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by Matthew Cattin Hello again, It’s upon us – the final issue of debate. Last week we looked back on the year that was and this week, we look ahead on the summer to come. It’s going to be an ugly few weeks of assessments but dry your eyes, the sun is coming. I love how summer sneaks its yellow hands across the calendar, slowly but surely warming the days within its reach. There’s always a few stunner days in spring that take you by surprise, stealing your sunburn virginity while you frolic unprotected and unaware on a warm October day. I’ve already snuck in a few swims and while I admit it’s still brisk, the massive increase in temperature has taken me once again by surprise. Is it always this swimmable in October? Last week I went on my first floundering expedition of the season – wading in the river up to mid-thigh, torch and spear at the ready. Before entering the water I braced myself for the chill but blow-me-

down I didn’t even flinch on entry. Summer is upon us! With not a ripple on the water and clear night skies above, I got enough fish for dinner and my first fix of the happiness to come this holiday season. If you’re returning to study next year, you’ll likely have a solid four month break. Use this time wisely – you’ll never get such a good deal again. Explore the country, road trip, surf, sing around bonfires, tramp into the wilderness, get out of your comfort zone. We’re blessed to live in a country the rest of the world is trying to visit – don’t be a damn fool and slob around at home. It’s been an absolute pleasure working on debate this year – I hope you’ve enjoyed the work we’ve put into it. Thank you for reading. Enjoy your holiday. Over and out, Matthew www.ausm.org.nz

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THE SUMMER SECTION

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BEEEAAACCCHHEESSSSSSS Matthew surferdude Cattin & Ramina beachface Rai talk up their favourite beaches to daytrip to from Auckland.

MATTHEW'S PICKS

Orewa

www.magicalmangawhai.co.nz

Being just 10 minutes from my humble abode in Stanmore Bay, Orewa is a staple beach of my summer – it’s also where I went to college so it forever holds a nostalgic place in my black heart. Every year over Christmas, my family and I travel far and wide in Northland for camping holidays and every time we drive south over the Waiwera hill and see Orewa stretched out like a dream, we always marvel at how lucky we really are to live so close. The surf is hella inconsistent but I’ve still had some of my best waves at humble Orewa – and at 3km long, the breaks never get crowded. There’s snapper waiting a short kayak off the beach, a solid selection of ice cream stops and of course, an adorable abundance of kindly old folk. Bless. Even if it’s just a pit stop on your way up north to bigger and better things, don’t be too quick to disregard lovely Orewa – it’s bloody legendary.

Mangawhai

I’m a little embarrassed to mention that my first visit to the beautiful Mangawhai was just this month – but my-ohMangawhai what a gem! I headed up with a good friend on a fine Saturday with adventure in mind - and disappointed I was not. The beach is just lovely – stunning white sands, Northland’s crystal water and mighty sand dunes. You can hike to the top of several hills for spectacular views, run down the dunes like little children or, if it’s a stunner of a day, head to the Mangawhai Tavern for a refreshing beverage. On weekends too, you will find a community market happening in the township – a perfect opportunity to score some cheap smoked fish for lunch. It’s a little more built up than I like my beaches but just 20 minutes South you’ll find Te Arai Point, an isolated wonder of white sands and barrelling waves. It’s also just over an hour from city central and you can’t complain at that.

Omaha

I’ve spent many a-summer frolicking on Omaha’s glorious white sands. A besty has a bach up that a-way and it feels almost like a home away from home – I know the mean streets like the back of my hand. Yes it’s developed, yes it’s full of rich snobbery (oh hi John Key’s bach) but that in no way takes away from how spectacular the beach is. The paddler crabs do though – seriously, watch out for those suckers they will draw blood. At the northern end you will find the newly constructed predator fence and three rock groynes you can explore or fish off. On the estuary side, there is a wharf you can do sweet bombs off and, tourist tip, if you happen to be there at night, there is usually brilliant blue phosphorescence in the water. The waves are usually pretty damn good and like Orewa, the beach’s length means plenty of space for all. If the waves haven’t come to the party however, there’s also golf, tennis, biking and longboarding fun to be had on the peninsula. Or you could take a day trip to Tawharanui – it’s only 20 minutes’ drive. 8

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ramina'S PICKS

Piha

This beach is a classic,and for good reason. It’s a bit of a twisty-turny drive to get there, but when you’re driving through lush green NZ forest, having a few curves in the road ain’t a biggie. I always love the moment when you get to the cliff that overlooks the beach and Lion Rock in all its glory. It’s wise to keep your jandals on until you’ve sussed out your spot on the beach for the day – the black sand can get pretty damn toasty hot and it is not afraid to melt the skin off your feet if it needs to. Though, the hot-sand-foot syndrome is always remedied nicely by running immediately to the ocean and dipping your toes in the cool waters. Be careful when you go for a swim, because this beach is infamous for being dangeous if you stray far from the flags. It’s worth staying out here to watch the sunset, as Piha is the ideal spot to get a stunning view and see the most gorgeous colours in the sky. Oh man, I’m getting too cheesy, better move on.

Bethells Beach & Lake WAINAMU

This sits pretty close to Piha on the map, but there’s around a 40 minute difference between the two beaches if you’re driving. I’ve gotta admit, this is slowly working it’s way up the ranks to being perhaps my favourite local beach. It just has so much to offer and I can’t keep pretending that I don’t appreciate it. It has the lovely beach with some epic mountains to greet you at the entrance, and if you walk far enough you’ll find some mint caves. Then, if you drive back for about 5 minutes, you’ll find the entrance to Lake Wainamu, a hidden gem that you must find by taking a 20 minute walk through desert like sand dunes. (Lake Wainamu is the lake on the cover by the way...)

Tawharanui

When my friend introduced me to Tawharanui a couple of years ago, I was in awe. I didn’t believe that I could fall in love so quickly with a beach, but it happened, and I’ve never looked back. With shores that spill onto the soft white sand and clear, sparkling waters, vibrant pohutakwa, this place is heaven. You can climb along the rocks to get around the bays, or you could just swim around them if you please. The parks surrounding Tawharanui also serve an an open sanctuary, so you’ll see lotsa cool birdies and a few sheep in the paddocks. On the way there from Auckland city, you’ll pass through Matakana, and if you’re there on a Saturday you can check out their farmers market. How neat.

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MATTHEWS TOP 5 NZ ICECREAMS

Tip Top Jelly Tip

Tip Top Choc Bar

The legendary Jelly Tip combines three of human kind’s greatest achievements; chocolate, ice cream and jelly. First developed in the 1950’s the classic combo has gone the distance, delighting sunburnt Kiwis for generations. This is the ice cream your Grandmother would likely surprise you with on a visit, reminiscing about the days she could get one for sixpence. Today’s Jelly Tips are still cheap as chips, and also delicious. The jelly segment is absolute heaven, especially if it’s slightly melted and soft. My one gripe however is the thickness of the chocolate casing and the fact it doesn’t completely enclose the ice cream, meaning you get messy melt around the stick. While the chocolate is an essential and delicious addition, I would appreciate more – a slightly thicker layer would seal the deal!

My beautiful summer fling, I discovered the glory of Choc Bars only a few years ago – silly me, right? Since that fateful day however, our relationship has gone from strength to strength and I can’t get through summer without a fix. Like the Jelly Tip, Choc Bars have been part of the Tip Top family since the 50’s – another Kiwi classic. With its thick chocolate coconut shell to keep the ice cream behaved on a hot day, you can count on Choc Bar to minimise precious spillage. What really stands out though, and makes Choc Bars unique, is the chocolate block hugging the stick. It’s great chocolate too, none of this cheap easter egg shit. I don’t think I can find fault in this summer classic – especially for its price. It’s a bloody steal.

Tip Top Big Hokey Memphis Meltdown

Big Hokey. Two words that send shivers down my spine. This ice cream is not for the light hearted – with its big hunks of hokey pokey to gum up your molars, smooth Meltdown ice cream and voluptuous stick. Whenever I look in the Tip Top freezer, this dirty little number always tempts my money from my wallet – it’s just so good. Yes, it is a high roller ice cream that will give little back on a five dollar note, but god damn it I’m worth it. It even has caramel swirls throughout the ice cream – it’s like it knows exactly what turns me on in an ice cream and works its feminine mystique to draw me in. Curse you Big Hokey. I can’t live with or without you.

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Tip Top Summer Tropical Trumpet

Trumpet is a synonym of summer time. From the peeling back of the wrapper to the licking of the cardboard top and finally the crunch of the solid chocolate at the bottom, Trumpets are without contest the most interesting ice cream on offer. This summer, there’s a new kid in town – Summer Tropical. I just polished mine off and I’m not gunna lie, it was magnificent. I began by nibbling off the white chocolate drops adorning the top, complete with passion fruit sauce. Summer Tropical has no gooey centre like the traditional flavours, but instead a mango sorbet that tastes very much like frozen yoghurt. A huge fan of the humble mango, I was thrilled – especially when I discovered the sorbet continues all the way to the bottom. In all, not the best Trumpet on offer, but a glorious addition to the family nonetheless.

Tip Top Rocky Road

Unlike the others on my list, Rocky Road has never been a go-to favourite. And after trying one again for the first time in years, I can see why I have no glorious memories with it. When you first slide it from its packet, the Rocky Road just does not look appetising, more like a strawberry ice cream you dropped in the dirt. I understand that the ‘rocky’ bits are biscuit pieces but they just don’t do it for me. The ice cream itself is tasty but fairly underwhelming. A touch of strawberry sauce would really have set this one off in my opinion. The weakest link of the Tip Top favourites (Choc Bar & Jelly Tip), Rocky Road will likely remain absent from my summers to come – unless of course somebody buys me one.

A SUMMER TO DO LIST. by Ramina Rai

-The Lost Springs

Activities

http://www.thelostspring.co.nz/ $35 for an hour per person, $60 for a whole day pass. Located in Whitianga, this is a bit of a hike away, but what’s a summer without a trip to the beautiful Coromandel? Pencil this into your diary if you’re feeling like a relaxing day in the glorious geo-thermal pools. You can immerse yourself in their 100% pure thermal spring mineral water and sip cocktails all day. This place is a tropical slice of heaven.

-Glass Bottom Boat Tour Goat Island: $25, Cathedral Cove: $95

If you are like me and find sea creatures immensely freaky but super interesting at the same time, you’ll be pleased to know that the glass-bottom boat is the ideal way to observe sea-life without getting all up in their grill. However if you’re someone who enjoys snorkeling and swimming alongside weird slimy things, you still get the opportunity to do so on these tours! When I went to the Cathedral Cove tour, I saw a whole bunch of penguins going for a swim and it was so cute I nearly wept. I’d say it’s worth doing at least once in your life, so just do it already.

-Kayak Puhoi River Adventure

$50 single kayak/$100 Double Kayak for Puhoi Adventure I’ve done this kayak adventure twice, and both times I have said ‘I WILL DO THIS AGAIN’ with so much passion in my voice that it alarms people standing within four meters of me. It’s a beautiful way to spend your day, and you can take your sweet time to enjoy the scenery. It’s great if you go with a group so you can explore the shores together. There’s a bunch of legit puhoi café’s too, so make a day of it while you’re out there.

Walks

-Karangahake Gorge & Bushwalk

This is a very good time. Don’t worry if you aren’t fit, there’s a few little short walks you can do if you just want an easy stroll around the beautiful gorge. You’ll definitely need to bring a torch or light of some kind to guide your way through the caves, unless you have excellent night vision. There’s a super cute café right opposite the main entrances, built out of the old railway station. You can also take a little scenic tour in the train alongside the river! How many cool things do I have to list about this place to convince you to go?!

-Pinnacles Walk

I haven’t even done this yet, but I want to so I’m putting it on the list. Everyone I know who’s done this walk seems to be better at life than me, it seems like it’s almost a rite of passage that everyone needs to do in order to be great. You should put aside a whole day for this walk, or alternatively you can stay in the Pinnacles hut if you’d like to take more than a day to enjoy yourself.

Eats

-The Secret Garden Cafe – Waihi Beach

http://waihibeachsecret.co.nz/ I’m beginning to get anxious that there are thousands of other secret business’s in New Zealand that I’m missing out on… This place is absolutely worth checking out if you are near Waihi Beach anytime over the holidays. This place actually is quite secret though, located behind their cute gift shop. When I walked through the doors into this miniparadise, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It’s decorated like an island getaway retreat, with Balinese huts and gorgeous greenery surrounding you. The café supplies healthy bevvy’s and good food. Grab your coconut bra and flax skirt, and head there ASAP.

-Auckland Night Markets

Image 5 source: http://www.planitnz.com/

Website: http://www.aucklandnightmarket.co.nz/ Thursday: Dressmart Onehunga Carpark. Friday: Hunters Plaza, Papatoe. Saturday: Westfield Shopping Centre, Pakuranga. Sunday: Westfield Shopping Centre, Glenfield. Okay okay, because I’m feeling nice, here’s one that’s actually within Auckland and not very expensive. This is a great option if you’re looking for some cheap and funky eats. You can get 15 pork dumplings for $5, a decent pad thai for $6, hand made tarts for $4, and extremely decked out waffles for $8. That’s only the beginning of it too, there’s hundreds of other food options to choose from. It tends to get pretty hectic with big crowds, loud music and plenty of yelling, but that just makes it more fun. There’s also a few stalls that sell clothes, jewelry, gifts and all that jazz. The markets open around 5pm and stay open til pretty late, ranging from 10pm-midnight, so there’s plenty of time to get amongst. www.ausm.org.nz

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH J.D SALINGER

By Rachel Peters I returned to Whangarei for the summer, with only a bag of books and a broken heart. My mind constantly returned to him. Just when I thought I had forgotten about him for half a day, I saw him shades of him. Walking down the street and was reminded again. Why had left like that after perusing me so vigilantly? He had been so ‘infatuated’ in his words. And then up and left to Melbourne, indefinitely and with barely a goodbye. My mind was a breeding ground for revenge plots. I struggled with a painful social anxiety, especially when it came to working. I had a job at a burger joint, but when someone talked to me, all the things I had to say came at once, and I hesitated between them too long. My mind was like the static in-between stations on the radio. I wondered what they thought of me. I became so self conscious I would stare blankly at the customer and go red. I would call in sick to avoid it. Then eventually I stopped turning up. The only way to stop the anxiety (apart from another trip to the doctor) was to drink. So that was how I started down an awfully self destructive track. He knew all this, and he told me it would be okay and then left and for the first time in my life, I knew what true emotional pain felt like. So there I was, stranded in Whangarei for the summer. My friends all in Auckland. And without money, or hope of a job and a very wrought relationship with my parents. Every day I would wake up and go for a run. Eat a piece of fruit. Then head to the beach to read. It was in this way that I came across J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye. As I started to read it, certain passages really touched me and spoke to me in ways that the people around me weren’t at that stage of my life. I assume this is the sort of effect the book has on many people. It is one of the most stolen books and it’s fame is partly due to being the a motivational text for Chapman in the shooting of John Lennon, and also the book Wynona Ryder had in her bag on her famous thieving excursion. For me the passage of wanting to be a catcher in the rye, not only represented wanting to protect my own innocence, but also a weird mix of low self esteem and self righteousness i had as a teenager. I wanted to be martyr or nothing at all. I sat on the beach as the rhythmic beat of the waves resounded around me. There was a warmth and comfort in the sand, and I let the message, the solution that Salinger has to offer sink in. “Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behaviour. You're by no means alone on that score; you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now.” I knew Salinger was right, I could tell he had been to the low point I was at because it encapsulated it so well with Holden’s cynical and angst-filled attitude. I looked around me and saw the endless stretch of water that turns even the most hardened philistines into poets, the

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Pacific Ocean. And for the first time in a long while I felt connected again, I felt that essential connection one needs to feel with the world around them. It was shortly after this that I enrolled at university and really started to implement positive changes in my life. Although, admittedly I had a few hiccups initially but I slowly started to recognise that I had some power to steer my life. I wanted to be someone with something to offer. Inspired by the words “someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.” I soon learned not to dwell on toxic relationships of the past and to not let a bad attitude get in the way of learning. I also started to read more and more. Something that I have kept up for the past few years, and as I started to talk more with people, open up, and trust them, my anxiety began to melt away. For me, Catcher and the Rye, became a defining book. Not just because of the book itself, but because of where I was when I read it. A few months ago, I stumbled across another of J D Salinger’s book. Franny and Zooey. Two short stories, that combined, are about the length of a novelette. My love for Salinger was sparked again. Franny and Zooey was an inspiration for Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums, and if you read it, it is quite evident, both in style and in the characters. It is a beautifully philosophical and inquisitive book. Certain lines in it seem to indicate many of Salinger’s feeling about his new found success and suggest reasons for his hermit like existence. “I wish I had the courage to be an absolute nobody’. This book, with its lack of real plot, but heavy in character development, has been my latest creative writing inspiration, and came to me in a moment when I felt that was nothing was interesting to read anymore. Once again I find myself thankful to Salinger for his contribution to literature and for the pouring out of his heart and soul onto those pages. Writing that helps people, I believe, is the best sort of writing. I found myself taken back to my original encounter with his work and feeling thankful for the opportunities and support I have had since then. I often wonder to what extent we govern our own lives or if indeed our lives just consist of fortunate reactions to external factors, like a random book you choose to read, a chance encounter with someone awful, or a sunny day which gets you along to the beach. I have no real stance on the matter but I know for me Salinger will always have a role as someone who helped me grow and steered me in a better direction, despite this not being my original intention. In the words of Holden Caulfield “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it”

SUMMER WORDFIND!

BEACH SUNBLOCK NEWYEARS COCKTAILS FISHNCHIPS

STUBBIES BIKINI TENTING TANLINES OVERHEATED

BOOGIEBOARD SANDCASTLES ROADTRIPS SKINNYDIP TOWEL

CHRISTMAS ICEBLOCKS FESTIVALS STRAWBERRIES GOODTIMES

Circle all the words in the SUMMER Wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win two "Squawk Burgers' vouchers for Velvet Burger, Auckland CBD! Tooooo easy! Meow

Name:

Email: www.ausm.org.nz

Updates Thanks you all That’s a wrap on debate for 2013! I can’t believe this is the last issue of the year. Hope you guys enjoy debate as much as I do! AuSM would like to say a huge thank to our cool and stylish editor, Matthew for producing such awonderful year of debate and our lovely designer Ramina for making it look amazingly outstanding!

PREZ SEZ Hello everyone, This week officially marks the last week of classes for 2013. It has been a very busy year for me as your President. A lot of changes have been made in the organisation this year and new and returning student will witness the ‘new’ AuSM from 2014. AuSM will have a new Student Government Board and a Representation Council from next year. It has been a pleasure and honour leading the significant changes that AuSM has made for it to be more viable and sustainable for the future. Our student leadership is critical to the success of the university. The Pro Chancellor of AUT, Lex Henry recently said; “Without a strong Student body we will not have a strong University …..” I congratulate those who have been elected for the first time, those who have been re-elected, and those experienced Exec Council members who are stepping into new roles. Enjoy your student representation and governance experience; learn a lot and I look forward to working with you for the rest of the year as part of the handover process. The transition of power to a new student government is always a time for celebration, but it is also a time for reflection especially for outgoing Executive Council members. We reflect on the excellent work and generous service that the outgoing Executive Council members and representatives have provided to the student body and the University as a whole. Special thanks to my Vice President, John Kingi. Thank you for sharing the goals, aspirations, challenges and successes of AuSM with me during my term as President. I couldn’t have had a better Vice President than you, John. Your dedication, passion and sacrifices to this job have been very overwhelming and I am very optimistic that you will do greater things with your new role as the AuSM President for the next two years. A big thank you to all the Executive Council members (Thomas, Jason, Ali, Urshula, Straan, Michael, Praveen, Harish, Rayya, Loretta, Ravi and Niroop). It has been a pleasure working with you all and I wish you all the very best. I want to take this opportunity to thank the governing body of the University (AUT Council), office of the Vice Chancellor and the entire University for their enormous support during my two years as the AuSM President. Students have always been strong partners in the governance and management of this University, and that continued to be the case during my presidency. I always welcomed and strongly considered the advice I received from our students and staff and I am grateful that AuSM continues to provide active and effective leadership for our student body. I wish to express my profound gratitude to all AUT students for giving me the opportunity to serve you as your student President for the past two years. I have always believed that student success plays a very significant role in our institutional priorities and the student perspective is more important to us than ever. You gave me the opportunity as your student president to create the most engaging, most challenging and the most valuable changes that will positively influence the valuable educational experience possible for AUT University students. AuSM has been and will always be an important partner in enhancing both the quality of life and quality of education and other services for thousands of students who seek to learn and grow at the AUT. I would also like to thank my family and friends for your enormous support during my term as the AuSM President. Thanks for always being there for me and I am most grateful. Lastly, a big thank you to the AuSM Council members, AuSM staff, AUT Clubs and Societies, AuSM Volunteers, Sponsors and all AUT students who have contributed in one way or another to making this year and my presidency such an exciting and rewarding experience. I wish you all the very best. With that said, I now ride off into the African sunshine to begin the next exciting chapter in my life. Nga mihi nui Your 2012/13 President Kizito Essuman

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AuSM Movember Tee AuSM is all about getting involved and supporting worthy causes! The AuSM Mo Tees are available at AuSM City campus office for $15 only. Pre-order for students at North Shore and Manukau campus! 100% of the profits will be donated straight to Movember! Check out nz.movember.com for more info about Movember. Feel free to sign up as MoBros and Mosistas! Jump online and register and join our AuSM Mo Team! Moteam.co/the-ausmmo-s AuSM Lodge Looking for a great place to chill after exams? AuSM Lodge will be the perfect place to go! Book it now at www.ausm.org. nz before all the sweet dates are gone! Don’t get stressed out! It’s that time of year when stress levels are running high. If you are having issues with any papers or grades or just need someone to talk to, AuSM can help you. Contact our AuSM Advocacy 921 9999 ext 8311 (Siobhan). More info at www. ausm.org.nz (Advocacy). We are happy to help!

COMPETITIONS

Find all the words in page 13's Summer Wordfind, send it our way & you'll go in the draw to win two "Squawk Burger" vouchers from Velvet Burger. Delicious! So fetch your magnifying glass and get wordfinding! Drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or email debate before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD.

Issue 24 Congratulations to...

Nona Pedersen

City Campus who scored two Squawk Burger vouchers! We loved your illustrations :)

A bit more work (and stress) earlier on can really reduce the stress at exam time.

Feeling Stressed?

Recent studies have shown that seeking out people who care about you, and sharing how you feel with them, can make a big difference to stress levels, so don’t hesitate to connect with friends and family when you are under a lot of pressure. And try to be there for your friends too – studies have also shown that caring for others benefits the carer too.

By Sensei Amala Wrightson – AUT Buddhist (Zen) Chaplain Stress 1. The physical pressure, pull or other force exerted on one thing by another. 2. A disturbing physiological or psychological influence which produces a severe state on tension in an individual. 3. The internal resistance or reaction of an elastic body to the external forces applied to it. Any of the above sound familiar? It’s that time of year when the stress builds and it may seem like there is no way out. Actually there are ways to work with stress, though at first glance some of them can seem counter-intuitive. The most obvious way to respond to stress is to change your circumstances. In the midst of exam time there may not be a lot of room for that. An exam is a bit like death – it always seems to come too soon and you can’t really argue with it. But if you left all the study until the last minute the exam will be even more stressful. There’s not much you can do about that this time, but you can file away a note for next time, DON’T PROCRASTINATE.

The other less obvious way to manage stress is changing our attitude, and this is always possible. Kelly McGonigal, in a recent TED talk, tells of research showing that what harms our health is not how much stress we experience but whether we think it is harmful – in other words how we react to it! If we see the signs of stress, such as a pounding heart and faster breathing, as an energized body getting ready for action, then we’ll be more relaxed and able to meet whatever challenges arise. If a wave of panic comes, then stopping and taking a few deep breaths can really make a difference. Other things that get us out of our panicky thoughts and into the present moment can also be helpful, such as listening to the sounds around us or just noting sensations in the body. Have you ever been for a ride a hot air balloon? The balloon floats along at the speed of the wind, so even though it is moving, there is zero friction. We can learn to stop fighting our stress and be like a balloon that goes along at the speed of the wind. If we throw ourselves into each stressful situation completely, moving towards the discomfort rather than away from it, everything can change. It is like learning to surf – we can be carried along on the waves rather than being bowled over by them.

AUCKLAND'S GOT IT GOING ON By Mike Ross It is with a heavy heart and a pounding hangover that I write this final gig guide. I owe my poor state to last night (Wednesday) being the final TNC at 1885, and I think we all know how that turned out. It is quite fitting that my time at university began with The Nark in 2011, and finished with it in 2013 - it's been the student club night of my time. I'm sure many of you have enjoyed the Wednesday night out there too. What great luck I had, timing my birth so that my university career would perfectly match such a great party. But alas, enough about my immaculately timed conception. Today it's all about the gigs that are taking place this week, and considering that this is the last time I'll be gracing the pages of debate, I figure I better make it a good 'un.

Thursday

The Hound (Halloween Edition) @ Bin Bin Deluxe

Saturday

Summervines @ the mighty Waikato Ah, the Waikato. Just so much as whispering the name conjures thoughts of green fields, moo-ing cows, and sexually transmitted diseases. This weekend the lovely district plays host to a smaller, quieter, and probably-not-quite-as-good version of Rhythm & Vines. It's called Summervines, and is a night-long dance party held on a vineyard out in the wops. A-Tonez from Australia is being flown over to headline, and it's going to be a great time. I think tickets are about $40 right now? Can grab them from iTicket. P.S. if anybody actually reads this far down, I'd be really interested to know who it is. If anyone has read this column each week over the last year, please let me know by hitting me up on Facebook (I go by my full name, Michael Ross). Would love to hear your thoughts.

All you North Shore-ians (North Shore-ites? North Shore-ans?) will already know that The Hound is the place to be. Once a month, Takapuna's most bumping bar scores itself a late licence, allowing it to be open until 3am (as opposed to the normal closing time of 1am). This night has been affectionately named 'The Hound', for reasons unbeknownst to me. Anyway, it fucking cranks and gets packed out early on (i.e. 9pm), so don't sleep on it. Dope DJs, dope venue, absolute meat market of a crowd….what could go wrong. Free entry. www.ausm.org.nz

A Brief History of Time and Space: Fifty Years of Doctor Who

by ethan sills 16

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On November 23rd, 1963, four million Britons watched as school teachers Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton followed mysterious student Susan Foreman home, and were subsequently startled to witness her stroll into a scrap yard. What awaited them inside changed their lives, as they found Susan’s home was a police box that was somehow bigger on the inside, living with her reclusive grandfather who was known only as The Doctor… An Unearthly Child was the start of what would become a global phenomenon, but I am sure that the creators of Doctor Who had no idea what a sensation their show would become. Fifty years on and Doctor Who is loved by millions around the world; it is shown in over two hundred countries, has clocked up 239 stories spread across 798 episodes, and to date, 11 actors have filled the titular role. Next month the 50th anniversary special The Day of the Doctor will air simultaneously in at least 75 countries, becoming the world’s biggest drama simulcast in history. While I have only been a fan for a small part of this half century, in honour of such a momentous feet, I am here to give you all a brief history into a show that has rewritten so much of our past already. Doctor Who was created by BBC Head of Drama Sydney Newman and producer Verity Lambert, the idea forming following a series of focus groups and surveys that concluded a need for more science fiction. The show was originally meant to be educational with both science fiction and historical context and episodes that featured one or the other, but the science fiction elements were the shows biggest drawcard, and, like any television show, ratings took precedent. For three years William Hartnell filled the role of The Doctor, but declining health made it difficult for him to continue. Not wanting to end the ratings goldmine, the idea of ‘regeneration’ was created, allowing The Doctor to change faces with Patrick Troughton taking over the lead role and creating a way for the show to carry on for years to come. The show ran for twenty six years with seven actors as The Doctor in that time, the longest reign going to Tom Baker who spent seven years as the fourth incarnation. In the eighties the ratings slumped, causing producer John Nathan-Turner to constantly reformat the show while it was bumped around the BBC’s schedule, before being eventually cancelled in 1989 to make way for new programming. Two attempts were made later to reboot it; an American television movie in 1996 that was a British success but had terrible ratings in the states, and an animated special in 2003 that did not come to fruition. Finally, writer and long time fan Russel T. Davies was able to bring the show back in 2005, and it has now been on air for seven seasons with an eighth ordered for next year. The Doctor is the hero of the show - a one thousand year old Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, a race that has learnt the secrets of time travel. Much of his back-story is unexplored; all we know is that he ran away with his granddaughter Susan, stealing his TARDIS (their time machine, it stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) and escaping the authoritarian Time Lords who refuse to assist in the actions of other planets. We do not know what happened to his parents or his child/ren, but there are hints that The Doctor’s past is darker than most would imagine. His name is unknown, one of the biggest secrets he keeps firmly to himself. After travelling around for a bit, The Doctor landed in 1960’s England so Susan could experience human life, where the TARDIS’ chameleon circuit broke, leaving it permanently with the image of a British police box. The Doctor eccentrically flies throughout time and space, exploring different planets and species and usually ends up having to sort out some issue facing the people, where his superior intellect and knowledge prove superior. He does not believe in use of weapons, solely using his sonic screwdriver as a means of fixing the issues at hand, as well as always attempting a peaceful solution when possible. He is capable of regenerating every cell in his body when dying, allowing him to be reborn with a new face and tweaked personality, as well as let the show carry on once the main actor has had enough. He can do this twelve times, and he has so far used ten of his regenerations, these being triggered by a variety of things including poison, gunshot wounds, falling from a watch tower and simply old age.

Whenever there is The Doctor, his companions are never far behind. His original companions back in 1963 each had a different role to play; teacher Barbara was there to explain the historical situations to the audience, Ian was meant to be the ‘hero’, and Susan was there to draw in the young people, with The Doctor himself …. This general idea was carried on a lot throughout the original seasons, with heroic male leads and young females who generally just asked a lot of questions and needed rescuing every episode. When the third Doctor came about, it was shaped so our titular character became the hero while the companion became more of a sidekick or assistant, a role predominantly filled by women; in total there have been 30 female companions, 13 male and two robots. Over the years, the show has regularly faced criticism for the companions being overly sexualised, labelled as the ‘Dad’s Companions’, there to ensure the ruler of the remote allowed Who to stay on. Notable complaints were directed at fourth Doctor companion Leela, who wore what was essentially a leather bikini for her season, while Peri Brown who travelled with the sixth had low cut shirts and mini skirts that would probably be rather impractical when fighting aliens. Many of the actresses behind these women are today not entirely happy with their portrayal, as they were made to stroll up mountains in high heels and be in freezing conditions in short skirts. Many of the earlier companions were treated poorly, with a lot being dropped without much notice and others leaving when they were prevented from developing their characters. Of course, with any piece of science fiction, there are distinctive villains that make up the core of the programme. The Doctor has faced over three hundred different alien races throughout the course of the programme, but only a few have been major recurring players across both the old and the new series. The first and the most well-known villains are the Daleks. Resembling salt shakers, their metal casings house the mutant descendants of the Kaled race, the remnants from their war with the Thals over their home planet Skaro. The Daleks were created by the maniacal scientist Davros as a way of preserving the Kaled race and conquering the universe. Every incarnation of The Doctor has faced the Daleks at least once, and prior to the events of the new series the Time Lords were engaged in a brutal war with the Daleks, resulting in The Doctor having to destroy both races in order to end the battle. The Cybermen are second in terms of significance; when the planet Mondas drifted off into to space, its human occupants were forced to technologically upgrade their bodies in order to survive, eventually becoming more machine than man and removing their emotions in the process. Their storyline was rebooted in the new series, with The Doctor entering a parallel universe where they were instead created by Cybus Industries (a frankly less imaginative back story, but there you go…) The most humanoid recurring villain is The Master, another Time Lord but much more insane - The Doctor’s intellectual equal but moral opposite. Recurring throughout the time of third Doctor, The Master was constantly searching for world domination. The character was meant to be written off but original actor Roger Deglado died in a car crash prior to this, leaving the storyline open ended and allowing for a new actor to take over a decade later thanks to regeneration and carry over into the new series. Times have certainly changed for the show; what started off in black and white with dull sets, shocking costumes and laughable special effects, is now shown in colour and boasts decent special effects for a show that is publicly funded. And to think teachers following their student’s home today would be a television plot point is rather ridiculous in our PC world. While the show probably won’t make it to a one hundredth anniversary, it seems that Doctor Who is the sort of show that will be loved for generations to come. Considering the levels of excitement a few weeks ago when nine missing episodes from the sixties were found in Nigeria, the show will last as long as the hero itself, and I am sure that plenty of people will keep the spirit of The Doctor alive.

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HOW TO SCARE AN ERICA By Erica Donald

I like to think I’m pretty tough. I mean, I’m not... but I like to think I am. If there’s a cockroach in my room there is no way I am touching it. No thank you. When my brother was home I would holler for him to come and rescue for me. He would sigh, grumble a little, but he was always my knight in shining armour. Now my brother is away on exchange in Germany and it’s not exactly easy for him to pop home and rid my room of monstrous beasts. I’ve had to toughen up a little bit. And by toughen up a little bit I mean I ask someone else to get it for me. So I may look tough, but I’m really not. It’s unusual things which scare me though. Forget heights, gore, thunder, lightning or the dark. They are all fine - it’s the strange stuff. I figured you might want some entertainment in the last few weeks of university, before the exams make you go stir crazy and you are unable to pry that pen from your clenched fingertips. So here it is - easy ways to scare an Erica. If you don’t know me I have red hair and I am usually in WG. Though usually in the media centre so unless you have a swipe card, I’m safe. Ha! Costumes. This one is famous amongst my friends. I am terrified of people who dress up in big costumes, like at Disneyland. There are no photographs of me with any Disney characters (mainly because I lost the camera, but also because I flat out refused to hug Mickey Mouse and smile). I want to break down whenever I see one, even at the tender age of almost 21. I think it’s the anonymity that scares me the most. I don’t know who, or what, is behind that plastic-smiled costume. It could be a friendly young guy, or it could be the beast of Blenheim. You just don’t know. I had a terrifying experience where a penguin suited individual saw me start to walk away from them. They proceeded to waddle after me as fast as they could while I broke into a sprint. They eventually caught me when I reached the end of the building and had nowhere else to go. They forced a hug upon me while I forced back tears. I wish I was just embellishing this story but I’m not. It’s one of the single most traumatising moments of my life. So there you are. Find a costume and run after me for a hug. It’ll be screams from me and giggles for you. Endless fun.

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Childbirth. Please, for the love of condoms, do not go and get yourself pregnant just for the hope of scaring me. I don’t know where I will be in nine months and it’s just not worth the satisfaction... My mum and her flatmate have discovered the joys of shows to do with childbirth. However the joy isn’t in watching the show, it’s in forcing me to sit on the couch and watch bodily fluids come flooding out of unmentionable areas along with a tiny screaming blue thing which they call a baby. So if you want to watch me squirm uncomfortably and avert my eyes then feel free to download an episode of One Born Every Minute and play it to me. You’re guaranteed a good time, and I’m guaranteed an awful one. Phone Calls. It sounds crazy, but I am actually quite shy and I hate talking to people on the phone. Yes, I realise it’s not a good thing since I am graduating with a major in Journalism in December (unless I fail, in which case see you next year!). But I am distinctly uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know on the phone. It’s awkward, I stutter and stumble and don’t sound at all professional. True story: I missed out on ZM’s Fix My Life because I didn’t pick up the phone when they called me. There goes cold hard cash down the drain... If an unknown phone number calls me and I have no idea who it could be, it is a struggle. I have to force myself to push the green button and answer. So there you go - a fun and easy way to both torment and embarrass Erica. Chalk. There you have it. Something so easy, and so cheap to procure. I cannot stand chalk. The texture makes my skin crawl. I’m actually having difficulty writing this just trying to describe what I hate about it so this is going to be short. Just know that I cannot stand chalk and I will run away screaming if you hand me some. Well, there it is. You have the power now. Use it wisely...Just remember you only have until October 25th, because after that I’ll be gone! It’s graduation time for me. Have fun kids.

The Stride Of Pride Here we are, only days away from the end of the semester. For some of us, we’re only days away from graduating too. The idea of graduation brings with it some pretty hefty connotations, which I don’t care to acknowledge right now as the world of being “a grown-up” is way too threatening for my liking. Instead, the idea of graduating has caused me to reflect on exactly what I’ve learned over the last three years. Before I head on my way, I thought I should impart some of my wisdom on you. Now, sure, I’ve learned a lot academically, and even more “about myself as a person” and all that emotional crap. But what I really think you need to know is about the biggest, most embarrassing lesson I learned.

your tiny little outfit from last night and run smack bang into his flatmates, or worse, his parents. Or, my absolute personal favourite. You make it all the way out of his house unscathed and realise that you are in the absolute middle of nowhere, with no bus stops or cars to be seen and you have to put your tail between your legs and go back inside… 2.

Avoid making it worse than necessary. If you go out in something that is completely inappropriate to be seen in the next day, make sure you take a change of clothes or something to cover yourself up. Although your playboy bunny costume may have been totally appropriate for last night’s Halloween party, walking down the main streets of town in it past the Sunday brunch-goers is sure to cause a stir.

Don’t leave anything behind. Okay so you’ve made it out of the house after polite conversation with the ‘buddy’, you’ve covered up your playboy bunny suit and you think your good to head on your way. You manage to locate your car, and then realise that you’ve left your car keys sitting on his bedside table. Or, for the classier ones of us, perhaps your panties are still cast over his night-light stand. Make sure you do a full scan of your surroundings before you leave the environment. You do not, I repeat, do not, want to be heading back there anytime soon. Which brings me to…

Don’t pretend it’s something it’s not. The worst onenight stands are the ones who just won’t go away. If you met the kid the night before and went home with him straight away, chances are it’s not going to blossom into the romance of the century. You both knew what this was when you went home together, so don’t pretend that he’s done you wrong by not calling you back, or confessing his love for you. Best case scenario, if it was a decent night you could get a sex friend out of it. And that always works so well – Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake say so.

It’s not The Walk of Shame, it’s the Stride of Pride. If you do encounter a super awkward situation, what’s going to make it more awkward is acknowledging the awkwardness. Hold your head high and strut your stuff, and maybe no one will notice that you’re wearing a bunny costume….

And that is: how to survive The Walk of Shame. Come on kids, you’re at uni now. If you’ve ever seen any trashy American comedy ever, you know that college is a time for experimenting, coming out of your shell, partying all night and doing things you know your parents would die a little inside if they knew (sorry Mum if you’re reading this…). Even those girls I met in first year who were ‘saving themselves for marriage’ seem to have evolved and become seasoned partiers and …’experimenters’. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, then you have plenty to look forward to. You know what I’m on about. You wake up, bleary-eyed with a foggy head and no possible clue of where you are. Perhaps you notice a shitty band poster on the wall that alerts you that you definitely aren’t in Kansas (or your room) anymore Toto. You lay there, a little worried to move in case your hangover kicks in, when you feel movement next to you. Sure enough, you’re not alone. You’ve gone home with that guy or girl who looked so damn attractive in the strobe lights and through the beer goggles you were wearing last night, and have got yourself in a little bit of a situation. What now? 1.

Don’t try to sneak out. I learned this one the hard way. While you’re lying there and the worst possible thing you could imagine is having to essentially introduce yourself to your “buddy” all over again, and the best situation seems to just get up and leave before he wakes up – it’s a disaster waiting to happen. It might work all well and good in the movies, but what happens if you collect all your stuff up, head to the door and crash over his guitar standing by his bedroom door, waking him up and making you look like a whore working on a timer? Or, you make it out the bedroom, down the stairs in

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CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR By Glen Stradwick International comedy star David Strassman returns to New Zealand with his brand new show, Careful What You Wish For. Chuck Wood’s sharp-tongued, caustic, sarcastic humour might have been cracking up audiences for years, but this show is an even funnier, darker, allnew creation from the dark and twisted mind of David Strassman. I was fortunate enough to be able to hold an interview with David and receive some insight about the world of puppetry, robotics and allround humour. DS = David Strassman GS = Glen Stradwick (After a bit of banter about the weather and public transport) DS: So, I am coming back to Auckland, I will be there in two weeks. I will be in Auckland, doing my new show at Skycity. GS: I'm actually planning to go to one of the shows, I'm really looking forward to it. DS: It's my finest show yet. I have been performing Careful What You Wish For for three and a half years and the good news is that because I have been doing it for so long it is really tight; I've achieved a laugh every 10 seconds, and I mean a good clever laugh every 10 seconds. It's almost an hour long, a good 45 minutes, not including the interval

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and is truly a ride from the minute the curtain opens until I stop. GS: I noticed with one of the designs you are using for Chuck, or rather one of the alternate puppets, that you are using sort of a Maori motif on his head, is there any particular reason or inspiration for that? DS: Yeah, when designing the show I needed a "Chuck" that was a double, which I used the same mould of my Chuck to create - this Chuck is completely duplicate as far as form. So, I thought 'how do I differentiate? Why don't I make him really hip by shaving his head and giving him a little facial hair (which is kind of hard to see). I thought ‘well, he needs a head tatt!’ and I went online and looked at all of these head tattoos - and there's some REALLY weird ones - and the Maori tattoo just really stuck out as something malevolent and powerful and I thought 'that's it!’ So what I did was I studied the Maori tatts and got an idea on how to create it and realised that the tattoo was a function of empty space rather than solid lines. I created the tattoo as an art project and drew it on his head with a Sharpie and then went over it again with a darker Sharpie and I created the tattoo. The funny thing is, my question is, does it mean 'get stuffed' in Maori? *laughs* That's my worry - I once went to a nightclub in Napier and they wouldn't let me in because I was wearing black jeans! I said "what are you talking about? I got these jeans in Hollywood, these are black Levis." He simply said "sorry mate, gangs here wear black jeans, you can't come into our nightclub." They literally would not let me in. I asked "do I really look like a gang member?" "Sorry, that's the rules."

Anyway, I hope this tattoo doesn't piss anyone [the indigenous population] off. Which, by the way, New Zealand is the only country in the world where the indigenous population said "get stuffed" to the British and the British had to say "okay..." GS: I'm personally not 100% familiar with the history of the Maori but from what I've heard, their tattoos are usually like a visual representation of mana or power for them - they consider it a part of their heritage and a way of showing who they are. DS: I obviously try to keep my show within the realm of... well, not politically correct, but at least I don't cross the line of really being truly insulting or racist. I try to make sure that my/chucks comments are clever and biting social commentary. But if anybody had ever challenged them, I say "hey, he's a puppet! He's not real." GS: Nothing wrong with taking a couple of jabs, just as long as it doesn't go too overboard... DS: Yeah, well I promise I won't make fun of the America's Cup this year... Any other questions? GS: With the whole ventriloquism thing, you've been doing this for over 30 years now. Have you ever found that it has started getting a little bit hard to get inspiration and get things off the ground - or have you found it is always relatively easy to come up with ideas? DS: Fortunately I have a writer I have been working with for the last three shows, Steve Altman. He wrote Ted's Farewell and the critically acclaimed Duality which I took to Edinburgh and he wrote this show. He doesn't write the entire show word-for-word - he writes about 75% and I fill in and personalize the rest. Then, of course, since it is my show and I do all the voices, I write the show as I perform it every night. So, what I will be doing in Kerikeri on my first gig will be different to what I do in Ashburton a month later because the show morphs every night - that's the beauty of not being stuck with a script like a show like Wicked or something similar - they can't change a line, while I can change them, I can improve it or take a line out, I can have an improve on one night. In fact, a lot of routines were based on an improv that happened on one particular night, then I ran with it and wrote it down that night. The next day I tried it out in the show and took out less well received material. The show is constantly morphing into a finely tuned instrument. I'm very fortunate that my job is standing on stage, playing with dolls and making people laugh. I'm very blessed and thankful that it is what I do for a living and I love it. I love theatre and magic. In this particular show, we tour in a six tonne truck with a crew of five others, we have 180 lighting instruments, we have music, robotics, magic, theatre and projections. It's not just a guy standing in front of a microphone and a curtain like most standup comedians are - this is a full theatrical experience and it is fun puppetry as well.

one scene where I am holding a hand-held wireless device. It is not really hidden, the audience can see it, but after a few minutes you get used to it and you don't look at it any more. It's kind of like with a marionette puppeteer, you see the strings but you kind of block them out. I do a scene where I operate Chuck live - his movements are live and his voice is live, but he is sitting five feet away from me. This gives me the freedom to add Ted E. Bare to my other hand, so I can have a three-way conversation with me, Chuck and Ted E. and Ted E. is live on my hand, Chuck is live with the robotics, it is another ground-breaking innovation with the modernism of this ancient art form. GS: I'll finish with a slightly more amusing question - have you ever found in your performances when you have been on stage - I'm guessing you have found that occasionally you might forget a line and have to improvise - have you ever found your train of thought has virtually screeched to a complete halt and you have not been able to recall a section of script? DS: Very rarely because when I operate these puppets, they are autonomous. When I move them as a puppeteer, their movements are autonomous, so the puppet will never go 'dead'. I've been doing it so long, it is kind of like riding a bike. When it comes to stuffing up a word, or like some parents do, I might call Chuck 'Ted E.', or call Ted E. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Chuckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, or the last puppet I had, I might call the next puppet that puppets name. What is amazing is my emergency reaction is for the puppet to call out the mistake, which is the funniest and very offsetting experience for the audience, because [they think] 'wait a minute, the ventriloquist made a mistake and there is the puppet noticing it and correcting him?' So it is really a fun bit of improv that I enjoy doing when it happens. Have I blanked completely? In my career, maybe once or twice and that is because I wasn't prepared, but my show that I am bringing to New Zealand in a week has got a really definitive plot and able to improvise in almost any direction, it really is a wonderful show and a lot of fun. David Strassman is performing at the Skycity Theatre early next month. Tickets are available online from ticketek and cost $54.90 for a student with valid ID.

GS: I noticed while watching some of your video clips on Youtube and your website, as you mentioned earlier, you have started moving over the years more heavily into developing robotics and integrating them into your puppets, one of the main ones being Chuck. How long did it take for you to develop some of the parts that you use? DS: It is actually on-going. First of all, 95% of my show is traditional "hand-up-the-bum" ventriloquism - I'm operating the puppet, my voice is live and is live for the entire show. It was 1986 that I quit 'ventriloquism' because I was bored with what I was doing, I couldn't see a future and that is when I came up with the idea to put robotics into Chuck. That changed my whole career and it changed the art form - I innovated the art form for the first time in hundreds of years and what I did has added the ability for the puppet to move live without me and added the element of theatre. Most ventriloquists even today, except for one, Nina Conti, who is brilliant, most ventriloquists are still just stand-up demonstrational entertainers, they tell jokes, they sing stupid songs and they try not to move their lips and that is it. I bring in pathos, character, conflict, inter-relationships - Chuck and Ted E. are constantly fighting with each other. So, with robotics, I am currently developing a system and am using it in this show. This will be the second time I am using it. There is www.ausm.org.nz

D.A.S BLACK> BY ABIGAIL JOHNSON

When I met D.A.S Black I was struck by her laugh. She laughs at everything and everyone, and uses words like ‘Lol’, ‘O.M.G’ and ‘JOKES’. She commands a huge presence even when she’s just sitting around having a few drinks. Then I heard her sing. As I sat in silence watching her I realized everybody around me was sitting in silence too. Staring up at her; mesmerized. Her songs were a mix of blues, soul and R&B, each one different, but each similarly powerful. Recently I sat down with the songstress to talk music, performing and what inspires her. Hi D.A.S Black, let’s start with the name. How did the stage name D.A.S Black come about? The name came to me when I was in Nelson. Its initials of my given names... D is for Deelnoor (first name), A for Ahmed (surname), S for Silaumua (my Samoan name) and Black is from my nickname Ebony- which means black. I’m half Samoan, half Indian and Kiwi born. At first it was going to be D.E.S (Deelnoor, Ebony, Silaumua) but I liked the sound of D.A.S. When you perform you absolutely dominate the room, how do you find performing live? Why do you enjoy it? Lol of course, I love, love, love it. I love being on stage and telling people my stories through my songs. At first I found it hard and I was very shy, but now I have found that I can be myself, relax and enjoy it. Who or what are your chief musical influences? I appreciate all types of music so it’s hard to choose just one. I grew up with R&B, country and hip-hop. I admire R&B artists Toni Braxton, India Arie and Aaliyah, hip-hop artists like Tupac and Eminem and country like Lucinda Williams, The Eagles and Johnny Cash. Who would be your dream musician to collaborate with, or to support live?

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Easy, Lucinda Williams! I think we would complement each other nicely and I would absolutely love to hang with her backstage, mean! Tell me about how you became involved with music, were you heavily involved in it during your childhood? Yeah, I grew up with music through my church, singing in the choir and being involved as music co-ordinator for my church youth group, and I got involved with school musicals. I played classical piano and guitar at young age. A few of your originals seem to be about overcoming struggles, what influenced these songs? Yes, definitely. I went through depression for years and I had a lot of dark thoughts. I found it easy to write it all down on paper and then turn my thoughts into a song. Writing music made me feel so much better, was a good outlet for me to speak my mind. Bad relationships, passing of a close relative, break-ups, and an absent father figure when very young also seem to bring more songs out of me. I’m sure your songs would be very therapeutic to anyone else who has been through anything like that. The song 'My Chance' is stunning. Tell me about what influenced that song. Going through depression was hard and what people thought about me was huge, as I like to please people. This song is about me having a chance to sing, to be seen, a chance to make the most of life, to shine on stage and not to care what others thought or did to belittle, emotionally bully or discourage me. When I was young, I wasn't given the chance to shine as I was outshined by my siblings. But now, this is my chance to shine. Rock on! Lol. Well you certainly shine every time I watch you perform. Where can others find your music? My music is available on Youtube and Soundcloud, and I have a Facebook page, where you can check out where and when I’ll be performing next.

FUCKING UP by Kieran Bennett When I was younger, only knee high to a grasshopper, I was under the firm impression that my parents and anyone else who was 'old' could do no wrong. No falsehoods could pass their lips and no step could be put wrong such was the infallibility of age. In short, fucking stuff up was something only the young or stupid did. As someone with a memory that has been described affectionately as a 'sieve with a big hole in it', I often fucked up when I was younger; frequently forgetting anything and everything. One such occasion took place when I was high school (the site of many a fuck up). I had only just recently been given a new softball glove by my father, and it was a beauty. Normally I don’t gush about anything sports related, but this glove really was excellent. I had at the time just broken the leather and so it, quite literally, fit me like a glove. I of course lost the fucking thing soon after. The kicker was of course that I didn't even notice until I was on the bus home; a good three hours afterwards. There was no getting back of course as the moment I left it unattended it would have been stolen (stay classy West Auckland). The bollocking I received from my father that evening was quite unlike anything to come before it and completely deserved. I had, in every sense of the phrase, fucked up. The thought at the back of my mind through the course of all this was surely my parents would not do such things. While they may have done such things when they were younger, they were beyond these things now - as was anyone else over the age of 20. There would be a point in my life where I would grow an extra gland in my head that would pump out a chemical that’s sole job was to occasionally say things like 'sure that’s a good idea?' and 'do you have all your things?' Like magic I would become immune to fucking up and I would be able to coast through life, assured that every decision I ever made was not only correct, but sure to bring happiness and goodwill to all. I’m not sure what caused me to realise that not everyone is an infallible Jesus figure, but I definitely realised. Mistakes will stay with you your entire life. That’s not to say the effects of them will (at least not always), but rather, you're essentially guaranteed to keep fucking up. Perhaps with less severity or with less frequency, but nevertheless, you and everyone else will keep fucking up till the day you all die. While that may seem a little morose, take comfort in the fact that you, me and the person who'll read this after you; are all a bunch of fuck-ups.

StuDYING By Laura Ouwejan It's that time of year again. The semester is coming to an end, the assignments are piling up. You feel as though your brain might explode if you try and feed it any more information. Well, in my experience anyway. We cruise through the year and then bam, pressure is on. Everything is due at once. My diary becomes a scribble of hurried notes and desperate reminders. I spend time reflecting on my bad organisation skills, when I know I should be doing something productive instead. As every student knows, mastering the art of procrastination is easy. Much simpler in fact than writing the assignment in question. I for one, find that when I have an assignment due, my house is spotless. The washing is folded, the dishwasher's unloaded, because I'd rather do these mundane tasks than actually sit down and write an essay. I even tell myself it's important. "It's essential that I clean out my wardrobe, I've been meaning to for ages" and "while I'm at it, I should really alphabetize the DVDs". Avoidance tactics, they're everywhere. "I really should spend some time with my cat - I've been neglecting him lately". All the excuses come out. And taking a nap is suddenly the most appealing thing in the world. (Notice how the word studying ends in dying, coincidence? I think not). Anyway, fact is we will do anything to prevent the inevitable study time. Nothing seems urgent until it's the last minute and you haven't started planning/researching/writing. Then the panic sets in. You try and urge your brain to concentrate, but it does the opposite. It's sunny outside, the birds are singing, it's all too much. Closing the curtains works temporarily, but never for long. I find myself wandering to the fridge every few minutes, hoping some delicious food will magically appear, but it never does. Motivation doesn't come easy. Distraction however, hangs around bugging you relentlessly until you give in. Generally, as the hand-in date creeps closer, the desperation becomes a little worrisome. At this point I have to shut myself away somewhere silent, make sure my phone is nowhere in sight, and force myself to write. It is a great feeling though; you know the one I mean. When you finally come to the end of an essay or whatever else it may be. Knowing it's all completed and you no longer have to think about it. You breathe a sigh of relief, massage your stiff neck and visualize your freedom. This is of course assuming you've remembered to include your APA-approved reference list. That unforgiving bastard of a task that always catches you out. Wouldn't want to lose points because you forgot to include a page number. Honestly, who makes these rules! Surely it's obvious that I just wrote some ramble then added a few quotes in afterwards... Oh dear, have I revealed too much? It is brilliant though, when all your assignments are handed in. The only deadlines you have to worry about are those that appear on your social calendar. It's incredible how quickly one's body can slip into holiday mode. I always find that when I'm not studying, I'm not doing much else either. Sure I go to work for a few hours here and there, but sadly the gym becomes like some faraway land. Much too difficult to access. Instead I favour spots like, my bed, the couch, and the various homes of my friends. It's not exactly easy, to fill in four months of endless leisure time. I mean, there's only so many times you can watch Friends from start to finish. And with limited income, the world isn't exactly your "oyster". You won't catch me complaining though. Being a student may have its ups and downs. Extreme tension versus complete serenity. But it sure beats the daily slog of that real world we're all desperately avoiding.

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by Natasha Payne Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). I’ve been ridin’ solo for more than a year now. It’s been all kinds of great. I’ve welcomed singledom with open arms and have genuinely enjoyed kickin’ it by myself. As cliché as it sounds, I’ve grown as an individual and learnt things about myself I never knew before. I’ve experienced new firsts; going to movies alone and partying with my lonesome at concerts (both of which are totally underrated). Heck, I’ve even been known to lose my shit and shout, “THIS IS MY JAM!” when the DJ drops Beyoncé’s Single Ladies at The Longroom. But despite loving life as a lone ranger you can’t deny everyone loves a hand to hold. Including me. To quote Bieber, “I just want somebody to loooovvee”. Enter findsomeone.co.nz. I jumped on the internet-dating bandwagon after a colleague convinced me to sign up. She’d recently joined and was on the serialdating buzz. With my mum knitting baby clothes for her non-existent grandchildren I felt I owed it to her to at least look like I’m trying, right? My journey into the world of internet dating has been very entertaining. My flatmates have taken the brunt of the journey with sounds of me gasping and screaming – no, not in pleasure – but in pure shock at the lads of the internet dating world. It is with this I bring you:

The ten guys of internet dating

1. The let’s-get-it-on guy

It is really quite unfortunate the first guy to message me went into quite explicit detail about wanting to dress me up in sexy lingerie and have me up against a hotel wall. When I read he wanted to lick ice-cream off my nipples I was screaming and searching for the ‘deactivate account’ button. Somehow I kept faith and kept my profile. I added a note to my profile stating, “creeps need not apply”. But my editing was in vain as it didn’t stop guys from trying their luck. One guy simply messaged me, “Why haven’t we fucked yet?” Ummm... Go figure. However, my all-time favourite was, “Hi would u like to sleep with me?” Such excellent wording – as if he’s doing me a favour and sleeping with him would be a privilege. Mate, you’re dreamin’. I wonder what the success-rate is for such ‘pick-up lines’. Sure, if a side-salad relationship is what both parties are after, so be it. I’m sorry my morals get in the way of your penis.

2. The denier

The world of internet dating filled to the brim with these lads. The denier is too proud to admit they created a profile at their own accord and will use every excuse to justify their membership. Common reasons include: “I lost a dare to a friend, so here I am” or alternatively, “my flatmate made me a profile”. Even if these reasons are somewhat legit no one’s holding you at gunpoint. Don’t be silly; you’re fooling no one. The reasoning for your presence is written is the website’s title – you, like me, want to ‘find someone’. Dating, like everything else in this world, is going digital – and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. A recent American study found one-third of married couples meet online. Take it in your stride, you trendsetter you, and rep your membership. Oh, and while you’re at it, ditch the “I’m new to this, so I’m not sure what to say” bullshit from your profile. Your denial has ‘insecure’ written all over it and that don’t impressin’ me much.

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3. The egotistical gym buff

If this is what you’re in to, internet dating is the place for you. These chaps are easy to find. Their username will be something along the lines of ‘Gymfitguy’, ‘gymmuscleboy’, ‘gym_freak’ or ‘GYM-JUNKI’ (no, I didn’t make those up). Their profile usually starts with the statement “I love the gym” followed by details of their exercise regime and paleo diet. Their profile pictures are my personal favourite. Hello gym selfies, thigh shots and topless #cuttingforrnv photos. I appreciate your dedication to your lifestyle but if you’ve got no time for carbs, I’ve got no time for you. Let’s be honest, carbs > love.

4. The Rick Astley

This joker treats Rick’s lyrics as gospel as his actions suggest he’s “never gonna give you up / let you down/ run around and desert you / make you cry / say goodbye / tell a lie and hurt you.” The Rick Astley is, indeed, never gonna give you up – ever. If your message goes unreplied, the person isn’t keen – simple. This does not mean you need to up the ante and message them again (and again and again). As an open message to the Ricks of the world, I would advise you to consider your actions before continuing what you’re doing. In saying that, good on you for taking a leap of faith and sending that first message. Pardon the terrible clichés but you don’t know unless you try, so kudos for your effort. And remember, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Pick up your bruised ego and let it go – onwards and upwards, soldier!

5. The trier

The trier misses every time and leaves the person on the receiving end completely dumbfounded. The first breed of trier is the one who tries sooo hard to relate but misses the benchmark completely. For example, on my profile I state, “I enjoy spelling and grammar” (what a way to sell myself, right?) which has sparked some interesting messages. This includes, “You said you like grammar, does that mean you like apostrophes’?” Complete with an incorrectly used possessive-plural apostrophe. Maybe he was being ironic but I very much doubt it. The second breed of trier is the ones who have no idea how to relate. This includes a guy whose opening message to me gave details of his GTR Skyline and how much he liked to “get on it with the boys”. Huh? Are you for serious? Internet dating is a glorious invention. You have the opportunity to perfect communication with a simple spell check and getting your friends (or mum) to approve messages before sending them. And the best thing is the person on the receiving end would be none the wiser. Up your game, lads. God may love a trier, but girls love an achiever.

8. The jerk

Unfortunately, jerks exist online as much as they exist in the ‘real world’. Their words disgust me. On findsomeone, I think you can fairly judge a person’s jerk-factor by the way the complete the ‘thoughts’ section of their profile. In this section, you can share your options on such topics as politics, sexism and racism. I’ve come across profiles that really grind my feminist gears with comments such as, “There are some things men are better at”. Take a walk buddy.Another profile I’ve come across was a guy who had said he was “against” sexism and racism. However a further browse of his profile suggested otherwise with a disclaimer statement, “Don’t message me if you’re Asian”. Dick move. Practice what you preach.

9. The creep

6. The copy-paster

Contrary to the trier you’ll discover the copy-paster. Their initiation message follows the ‘one size fits all’ formula with, “Hi, how are you? I came across your profile and you seem interesting. I see we have quite a bit in common. Let me know if you want to chat sometime.” I bet you say that to all the girls.A closer inspection of the copy-paster’s profile will reveal you have absolutely nothing in common. A guy once messaged vegetarian-me saying we had lots in common but his profile revealed he was a steak lovin’ hunting fanatic. No thanks. When it comes to internet dating, don’t take shortcuts. Find your innercreativity and lure dem ladies and/or gentlemen with your witty charm. Find something on their profile you can relate to and roll with that. Because messages, like suits, are better when they’re tailor-made.

When it comes to reporting on internet dating, the creeps are the ones who get all the media attention. The creep also tends to double up as ‘the old dude’. As a 22-year-old female I had men old enough to be my granddad ‘smiling’ and ‘favouriting’ me. I’m far from flattered. A 44-year-old divorcee with two children sent me a ‘smile’, I didn’t reply. He sent me a ‘wink’, I didn’t reply. He sent me a ‘hug’, I didn’t reply. He then sent me a message, “I have a business party to go to, are you interested in going as my date?” Needless to say, I didn’t reply. I’m half your age and not your trophy girlfriend. We are never ever getting together.

7. The all-in

The all-in guy is great! This is the guy who replies to your, “so tell me a little about yourself” with excessive detail. The keyword being “little”. A particular guy replied with details about what primary and high school he had gone to and every place he had ever lived. Dafaq. My close friends don’t even know this about me! Too much, too soon. If you tell me all this in your second message what on earth are we going to talk about over coffee?! Half strength dude!

10. The diamond in the rough

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU. Thank you for being born and thank you for being you. Let’s get coffee.

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by Karla Momic It’s the same story every night and it generally goes a little something like this. You get home from wherever you were, you finish eating whatever it is you are eating and you watch some of whatever it is you are watching, before you finally run out of excuses and make your way to bed. But then what? Well, you have better chances of successfully recollecting your 21st, than you do trying to piece together whatever it is your mind was getting up to while you were knocked out. It’s undeniable that each one of us dreams multiple dreams, every single night (discounting dreaded all-nighters). Although we may not remember what we dream the next day - and for some it may be a eureka moment when they recollect anything at all - there is definitely something going on when we are switched off and asleep. Even though 99 per cent of the time they don’t make any sense, you have to admit dreams are pretty fascinating, especially if they’re good ones. But what exactly are dreams and what’s going on when we’re asleep? Well I’m not about to get scientific, but I do want to share with you my story since having started dream interpretation. That’s right, I was a normal person just like you, until I decided to try and decode, or at least keep track of exactly what it was my mind was showing me 2,920 hours a year. That’s right, I get my 8 hours, and although I can’t account for every hour of sleep, since having started a dream journal, I now easily write two-to-three pages of dream recollection every morning. Why would someone want to do that? Good point. You might think it’s a waste of time and paper, but once you start to journal a few of your dreams and notice the subconscious and unconscious messages and recurring themes that begin to surface, it’s pretty hard to stop. In fact, I can’t wait to get to bed tonight. Wait, what? Recurring themes and hidden meanings? Oh yes, I will talk about this a little further down in the article. Firstly, I need to do centuries of research some justice by briefly mentioning some of it. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, and psychiatrist Carl Jung, personalities of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, of which I am sure you have heard of once or twice, are among the most credited and recognized in the fields of psychoanalysis and psychiatry respectively, for their eye opening theories on the workings of the mind. While these individuals’ theoretical differences drew them in different directions and to different conclusions, they both came to some very interesting observations. Freud, perhaps the most notable, peeled away at the layers of the human mind and identified three separate areas - the conscious, subconscious and unconscious. The conscious deals with all the mental processes of which you are aware of, for example you wake up feeling cold during the night and consciously put the blanket over yourself. The subconscious mind, also referred to as available memory, contains feelings and thoughts which you may not be aware of, but can easily bring into your consciousness should you try. Take for example your street address, you know it but you are not consciously thinking of until you are required to recall it, and should you need to, you can do so with ease. Well, let’s hope you can. Finally, the mysterious unconscious mind, labeled mysterious because we have no idea what information is stored in there, contains your biologically based instincts for primitive urges, sex and aggression. This is where you store your significant but disturbing mind content that no one wants to or can hear about, for these thoughts can be too intimidating for yourself and others to acknowledge to their full extent - such a clever design. As we conclude our history lesson, you can see that the subconscious and unconscious parts of the mind are of particular interest when it comes to dreams. Both of these are in the background of your mind, especially the unconscious, which is precisely why both of them harbour such significant information that may seem completely alien to your conscious mind. While some of your mild emotional experiences, such as breaking up with your year eight boyfriend, may be stored in your subconscious mind, it is generally the traumatic and repressed, negative emotions that are stored in your unconscious mind. Freud argued that when dreaming, memories and feelings from both these areas of the mind will and do emerge, so not only will this information be predominantly alien to you, to make it more fun, it makes no sense when trying to analyse it with your conscious mind as that is not its origin and you need to decipher the symbols. Think of it as playing a very real game with your mind where you try to decode the messages hidden by you, for you. Why hide them? Why not, live a little. Let me tell you my story of how I became such a passionate advocate for dream interpretation. It all started with of course some completely ridiculous dream that had nothing to do with anything, and because of its ridiculousness, I decided to investigate. With

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Google to the rescue, I soon found a couple of dream interpretation websites that thought they knew what they were talking about. And it seems they did. During a stage in my life where I was harboring a lot of repressed emotions and feelings that weren’t being expressed by my conscious mind, i.e. they had a one way ticket headed for my unconscious mind, it helped me realize that these emotions and feelings were being expressed through my dreams; I just needed to understand the dream symbols. Everything needs an outlet for expression and dreams are arguably the outlet for the deeper and darker parts of you, your subconscious and unconscious minds that you’d rather not face in your waking life. When starting out, I would check websites for potential dream symbol meanings and go with those that felt intuitively “right” for me. You learn to rely on your intuition a fair bit when interpreting dreams. Once I started writing my dreams down, either first thing in the morning or half asleep during the night, I could only remember a sentence or two of my dreams. Nowadays, I’m the proud author of an unpublished novel on my dreams, that’s never to be published. It seems the more often you document your dreams, the more you train yourself to recall, and when reflecting on your previous day and the dream you had that evening, you begin to understand that it is all very much connected. What’s more important, you start to become aware of and begin to understand parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed, not consciously anyway. I can speak for myself and say that through dream interpretation I’ve dealt with personal problems I didn’t even know I had, that were nevertheless affecting me in indirect ways of which I wasn’t even aware of. From a psychological standpoint, you may even experience dream interpretation to be somewhat therapeutic as significant amounts of dream theory see dreams as metaphors for what is happening in your daily life. While some of us prefer to keep our dreams un-interpreted and choose to wonder at the Déjà vu effect they often emit in our lives, each time you let a dream slip back into your subconscious or unconscious mind without considering its meaning, another hidden message and pocket of very useful information remains buried in the depths of your being. Dream analysis provides you with the opportunity for better self-understanding. For example you may discover you were harbouring unknown feelings for someone, thus explaining your previously unexplainable behaviour towards them. It can be an amazing tool for self-development if you give it the opportunity or time of day to do so. In the meantime, the below common interpretations of these dream scenarios may give you some insight on a past dream, but remember to use your discretion with meanings, as you alone will know best what specific meaning a dream symbol may hold for you. Nude Dreams - So you find yourself naked. Unless you’re a Brazilian supermodel, perhaps this could indicate you are feeling awkward or vulnerable in some situation in your waking life. Chase Dreams - Whatever it is that’s out to get you, it typically suggests that someone or something is making you feel either threatened or scared. Dying Dreams - This one can be particularly intimidating and may signal you are emotionally hurt or afraid of being hurt. If it is someone else who dies, it symbolises your wish for them to go away or your fear of losing them. Lost/Trapped Dreams - These dreams tends to occur when you are having a conflict in real life and can't make a decision. Failing a Test Dream - AUT students needn’t worry about this one, but this dream may signal you feel unprepared or as though you are playing the wrong part in life. Flying Dreams - If you are flying with ease, then this can suggest that you are on top of a situation. However, flying with difficulty or fear may indicate lack of power in controlling circumstances. As you can see I’m rather intrigued by this and can no doubt fill a couple of debate issues on this topic alone, however, I realised I wasn’t able to stick to the simple structure I laid out for this article, it all just kind out poured out. Nevertheless, if I managed to spark some interest in you to delve into your dreams a little more and contemplate the messages the subconscious and unconscious aspects of your mind are showing you, then that’s a job not badly done. Trust me, you won’t get bored - it’s all about you, the deepest and most intriguing parts of you, so have some fun. Dream away, and don’t forget to interpret.

Wandering the DREAMSCAPE AN INTRODUCTION TO DREAM INTERPRETATION

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25/11/12

8:39 PM

Student Experience Team Recruiting NOW (Formerly known as the First Year Experience Team)

The Student Experience Team is a team of students employed by the University who provide peer to peer support to other students. Will you be an AUT student yourself in 2014 available from February to October? Are you available to work some evenings and/or Saturdays? The Student Experience Team is now recruiting for coordinators. C

We have two roles available: 1. Coordinators on a regular basis (Average 10 hours per week) 2. Coordinators for an on-call basis for specific campaigns

CMY

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re friendly, reliable and keen to help other AUT students get the most out of uni then email or call Vandana Minhas (team leader) for a job description.

KEEP UP WITH WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GOING DOWN

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E vminhas@aut.ac.nz P 921 9399 ext 6098

HEARTS LIKE OURS

THE NAKED AND FAMOUS BASSIST DAVID BEADLE CHATS TO DEBATE Dark and exhilarating, The Naked and Famous’ In Rolling Waves is a beautifully produced and self-assured record – the perfect follow up to their breakout debut Passive Me, Aggressive You. After an unanticipated two year ride, touring the songs that made them household names in the alternative music scene, In Rolling Waves is an important milestone for the Auckland five-piece – a chance to prove their longevity and originality as a band. Speaking to bass player David Beadle however, it seems the band is too busy appreciating their sudden success to pay much heed to the pressures of the business. “It all happened out of the blue,” says David. “We had no dreams of grandeur or any form of international success. To get out of New Zealand as a musician is a very big deal so we've tried to run with everything we've had. We certainly don't take it for granted and are going to continue doing what we do. We love it.”

Between late 2010 and mid-2012, TNAF performed over 200 shows across 24 countries, including sets at the legendary Glastonbury, Reading and SXSW festivals. It’s been the dream run for a humble Kiwi band and a reassuring proof that bloody good songwriting still goes a long way. Finally settling down in mid-2012, the band shared a residence in LA to begin work on a new record. I asked David whether he found it difficult to suspend life on the road to knuckle down on the writing process. “Not at all,” he says. “Thom had been working on a lot of demos on the road so stopping tour to start living normally and writing was a very seamless progression. We didn't feel at all lost in the process and living together kind of helped with that. We all knew what we were doing and living together was a really great experience. We toured since the end of 2010 until April of 2012 and lived, wrote, and recorded together. We're now back on the road and are yet to start killing each other! We're a big happy family - it's wonderful.” The Naked and Famous’ phenomenal success overseas can be put down, in part, to the use of their music in television, film and gaming – their direly catchy Young Blood in particular. With tracks used in popular shows like Chuck, The Vampire Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy and True Blood, fresh ears around the world were introduced to TNAF, helping them make a dent in international charts. “It's pretty crazy! Having our songs synched to TV shows and films is a great way for our music to be exposed to a new audience that may not have found us otherwise,” says

David. On the flip side, having some of our music in Gossip Girl made me become a big fan of the series haha. I was really excited to be featured on True Blood recently too. We were all watching that series back in 2009 when we were writing Passive Me, Aggressive You.”

In Rolling Waves was, like all TNAF’ material, produced in-band by members Thom Powers and Aaron Short. For two tracks however, The Mess and I Kill Giants, renowned producer Justin Meldal-Johnsen worked with the band in studio to add his production knowledge. Having written and produced with heavyweights such as Nine Inch Nails, Beck and M83, David says working alongside Justin was beneficial to the process. “He's not your typical producer - he sort of came on as another member of the band. A lot of the time, producing, so to speak, was actually just in conversation and guidance in our living room. Talking to management or labels can sometimes be insightful but talking to an established touring musician and producer who has worked with some of our favourite artists was invaluable to us for those songs.” With In Rolling Waves, TNAF took a consciously minimalistic direction, intent on producing a record that could be recreated in a live environment without loss of power or quality. “We wanted to concentrate on each part being able to hold its own rather than having to rely on layering up and backing tracks. It's a performance oriented album. We know what works live and we all know what we're capable of,” says David. With an extensive touring schedule lined up for 2014, including a return home to play Big Day Out in January, TNAF will no doubt get ample opportunity to put In Rolling Waves to the test – I absolutely can’t wait. I asked David if there were any lyrical themes running through the album but he thought it better left unsaid, keen to keep the mystery of music intact. “Like in Passive Me, Aggressive You, they're open to interpretation, they're poetic, metaphorical and can be taken in many ways - sometimes literally and other times with an air of mystery. The general trend on In Rolling Waves is a very introspective one though. That comes after living and working with friends - it's nice to find the time for yourself." www.ausm.org.nz

Twenty things to do at twenty An ode to my last year of childhood Brittany Cotter As both graduation day and the big 2-1 loom eminently nearer (for myself they will both occur on the same day I believe) I AM FREAKING OUT. Despite reassurances from all the 40-pluses in my life that I’m ‘only just starting out’ and ‘have plenty of time’, I continue to have nightmares that my youth is slipping away like sand through an hourglass. Twenty, for me, has been a strange but enjoyable age, having left teenhood behind, though not quite recognised as a fully-fledged adult yet. As the cliché goes, you’re old enough to know better, but young and stupid enough not to care. And so I have compiled a list of things to achieve in my final two months as a twenty year old. 1. Host an out of control house party. – For those of you who missed out on doing this for your 17th birthday. Doing so when you’re 20 also gives you an excuse to tone down the 21st shindig a bit (I’m keeping mine Nanafriendly). 2. Answer the front door in your pyjamas. – This has happened to me several times this year. The first time was embarrassing, but it was kind of fun after a while to be in my pjs at 11am on a Friday while the courier delivery person had been working for two hours already. 3. Read. Yes, for pleasure. Today we’re expected to be on call for work 24/7, so take time out to read while you’re still a student, because you most likely won’t have time when you work full time. Besides, they always include reading on lists like this don’t they? 4. Wear track pants to Uni. I can hear my fellow comms girls shrieking already. But I’m being serious. As a jeans and Chucks girl myself I don’t quite understand the preoccupation with dressing up for Uni. If you’re planning on getting a corporate job

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when you graduate, you’re going to have to suit up every day. Why do so when you don’t have to? 5. Go to the casino. I don’t know why I haven’t done this yet. But I want to before I turn 21 – just because I can. 6. Learn about politics. There’s no excuse to not know the difference between Parliament and Legislature or how MMP works once you’re an adult. 7. Contribute to debate. No I’m not just saying this so that Matthew will publish this. It’s fun, as well as being a good excuse to procrastinate. 8. Re-work your CV. You are graduating soon. If you want to get hired it’s time to remove that summer job you worked at Supre when you were 15. 9. Write a letter to your 30-year-old self. My friend writes letters to her future self every birthday and reads them the following year. It’s always hilarious. Imagine the laughs, horror and confusion when you read your letter in 10 years. 10. Protest for or against something. It saddens me that my generation is so nonchalant. It’s time for us to speak up against injustices all around us. 11. Pull an all-nighter. Yes, completing an assignment at the last minute is always hellishly stressful and irresponsible. But I feel like you shouldn’t be able to get a degree without doing it at least once. 12. Wear purple lipstick and electric blue nail polish. – What looks chic at 20 looks cheap at 25. Make eccentric and outrageous fashion choices while you are young enough to pull them off.

13. Take a mirror selfie (or two). It may be cringeworthy, but come on, you know you want to. You don’t have to share on Instagram if you don’t want to, but at least take one. 14. Eat chocolate for breakfast. My mum keeps reminding me that ‘the habits you make now are the habits that stick with you for life’. I haven’t listened yet. 15. Blast Taylor Swift, One Direction or [insert name of artist / band you have a guilty pleasure for here] in the car. – Of course you can still do this at 21, or any age for that matter, but it’s way too much fun to wait until then. Do this ASAP. 16. Refrain from wearing your college PE shorts ever again. I don’t get why twenty-something guys do this? It’s kind of creepy…. 17. Learn the difference between your and you’re and how to use apostrophes correctly. Grammar is important. That is all. 18. Recreate a childhood photograph. The Facebook group where people upload these is hilarious. I’m going to make my siblings recreate one with me for Mum’s Christmas present. 19. Sponsor a child. We’re so blessed to live in New Zealand, so let’s share the love with someone less fortunate. Plus then you kind of feel like you’re responsible and a parent but you don’t have to change any nappies. 20. Actually completing a to-do list of other, more important things. EG: completing the seven assignments I have to do so I can graduate. I’ll get on to that tomorrow.

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Enders Game

Machete Kills

Enders Game was essentially the Harry Potter for 80’s kids and it’s easy to see why - it is well written and has good mass appeal while still being able to teach values such as strength and compassion, and now that there is a movie on the way with an all-star (and holy shit I mean ALL-STAR) here is what you can expect if you choose to read the book beforehand.

The first Machete film was a campy, ridiculous over the top schlockfest and possibly one of the greatest movies I have ever seen but unfortunately, Machete Kills suffers from sequel-itis. What is sequel- itis I hear you ask?

1985 Rating: Reviewed by Jamie Barnes

The book follows Ender Wiggin, a bullied, social outcast child prodigy from a family of child prodigies who at age six is chosen by the earth military to go into military training in a space station where the simulated battles used to train him are treated exactly like videogames but in real life. And there we see the first reasons why it did so well; the mass appeal, because what boy doesn’t want to escape into space where people will train, and praise them on their videogame ability? That’s right, those who weren’t socially awkward ones. But the battle school is not all fun and videogames as looming over their heads is the threat of invasion from the unspeaking, unfeeling insect race known as the “buggers” who have almost wiped out the entire human race on two occasions and as time goes on it quickly becomes clear that the only person that gives earth any hope of survival against a third is Ender. So as his time at the battle school progresses, the more pressure is put onto him to get better which pushes him to his absolute limits. While he’s up in space fighting for his survival, his older brother and sister on earth are coming to the realization that should he the political ramifications on earth may lead to a war on their own planet and take it upon their pre-pubescent selves to shape the course of history and change global diplomacy through (of all things) the 1980’s equivalent of blogging. The book is immersive and well written and the characters work well off of each other. The premise is interesting and the plot flows naturally with plenty of surprise twists and turns that will catch you off guard right up until the very end. And by the way If you’re wondering why with all my praise I have only given the book four stars, it’s because the second book is even better.

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Directed by Robert Rodriguez Starring: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Sofia Vergara Rating: Reviewed by Jamie Barnes

“Hey remember that scene in Expendables when Dolph lundgren shoots a pirate in half while shouting ‘warning shot!’?” “Yea that was hilarious.” “Remember in Expendables when Jason Statham beat up all those guys on a basketball court?” “Yea that was badass.” “Remember that scene in Expendables when Mickey Rourke was painting that guitar?” “Yes that was surprisingly deep and sombre.” “Ok now remember that scene in Expendables TWO when everyone was shooting things” “Uhhhhhh…” “How about its awful jokes?” “UGH, god yes…” That is what sequel-itis is; when film makers miss the balance that made the first movie so good and over-invest in the wrong things, making the second movie bland and forgettable except for a few swingand- miss scenes. Other such movies include Iron Man 2, The Matrix Reloaded, Evan Almighty, and of course Expendables 2. You may be wondering why I’m talking about other sequels when I’m supposed to be reviewing Machete Kills but to be honest I don’t remember all that much about it. I remember President Charlie Sheen, Arms dealer Mel Gibson and Sofia Vergara shouting but besides that I have nothing -no plot or character development and not even any comment on its action scenes. It’s just that bland. Now if you go in to this movie wanting to see a bunch of fight scenes and explosions then you aren’t going to be that disappointed but that’s not the point - even if you are in the mood for a cool action flick you at least want A) to be invested in the cause of the violence like in Sin City or B) you want it to be entertaining or fun like the first Machete film. The point being you want it to be MEMORABLE which unfortunately Machete Kills does not deliver on.

Prisoners

Directed by Denis Villeneuve Starring Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal and Paul Dano. Rating: Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

Dark and unsettling, Prisoners steals your attention in its opening scene and doesn’t let up on intensity for two and a half hours. Coming from French Canadian filmmaker Denis Villeneuve, who left me spellbound with 2010’s Incendies, I knew barely anything about the film prior to watching – only that it starred a bearded Hugh Jackman, tattooed Jake Gyllenhaal and a creepy Paul Dano; three great actors I admire. Having not seen any reviews, or even known about the film until a few days ago, my expectations were zero. Had I known it was Denis Villeneuve at the helm, I would have been a flutter of excitement. Losing a child is the unthinkable nightmare of any parent. Having a child missing and presumably in life-threatening circumstances is perhaps even worse – the helpless limbo of not knowing. It is that fear that Prisoners draws on so intensely. Religious family man Keller (Jackman) is enjoying a warm Thanksgiving with neighbours when he realises his young daughter, and his neighbours’ daughter too, have disappeared. Seen earlier playing around a creepy RV, police are called and a suspect (the RV’s owner) is brought into custody – an unsettling young man with an exceptionally low IQ named Alex Jones. After intense interrogation and a search of his vehicle, the cops are forced to let Jones go – but Keller has reasons to suspect his involvement and takes matters into his own hands. Not content with the cop’s verdict on Jones, Keller kidnaps him and tries to torture it out of him. That’s all the plot line I will let you in on – any more would be spoiler crazy. Prisoners has a rather unique structure. Rather than the typical three part narrative of beginning, middle and end, it rolls along at a refreshingly consistent pace, surprising every few minutes. Rather than building the audience up for a grand reveal, it lets you in clue by clue and you get to play detective. Expect red herrings, expect to have your perceptions thrown and expect the unexpected – this is a clever film. The performances by the leads really are fantastic. Big props to Hugh Jackman – he absolutely nails the sleep deprived, helpless and slightly insane father of a missing child. Fearsome, determined and gritty, he has some truly stunning moments and deserves recognition. Paul Dano was at his creepy best, although perhaps slightly underused and Jake Gyllenhaal was superb in his detective role, twitchy and haunted. At two and a half hours long, it perhaps could have done with a slight trim in editing but to be honest, it was only when I checked the time when the film finished that I realised the length. It didn’t particularly feel like a long film and managed to keep up intense suspense throughout so no qualms there. Prisoners hasn’t enjoyed much buzz prior to, or during its release, as Gravity did for example, but if you are a fan of thrillers such as Se7en and Silence of the Lambs, this is a must see.

Acade Fire

Reflektor Rating: Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

Last week, Ramina and I found ourselves at a listening party for Arcade Fire’s hotly anticipated fourth, Reflektor. A fairly intimate affair, 15 or so reviewers from various magazines and radio stations sat at a table at Universal Music to experience the two disc behemoth that is Reflektor. While the majority of the room stalked Facebook on their smart phones, I jotted down a few notes for a first impressions track-by-track review. 1. Reflektor – Ah yes. The seven-and-a-half minute leading single… It’s catchy enough, the Bowie cameo is great, but with three unnecessary minutes of repetition, honestly this one just does my head in. 2. We Exist – With a Billy Idol style bassline, this track came straight from the 80s. It already seems unlikely we’ll hear the classic orchestral Arcade Fire sound – instead we have reverb city. Win and Regine’s shared vocals get a bit lost in the haze but if you’re prepared for a massive change in direction, you might enjoy it. 3. Flashbulb Eyes – With a slow, almost Latin feel and too much reverb, this track, according to my notes, sounds like a “haunted disco in a deep sea cave”. It faded out before impressing me. 4. Here Comes the Night Time – Finally, a slice of brilliance. I adore this track. Nice to finally hear a bit of space in the mix, this track is full of subtle intricacies that will reward repeated listens. Complete with a haunting and beautiful piano riff, this is an album favourite. 5. Normal Person – Keeping up the good song vibe, this tune sees Arcade Fire at their heaviest and it KICKS. With a gnarly chorus that screams “mosh” this one will go down an absolute treat live. 6. You Already Know – After some awkward in-between track banter, so begins the most upbeat ‘happy’ track on the record. By now you realise Arcade Fire of yesteryear is well and truly vanished. 7. Joan of Arc – Begins like a punk song, but wait! A surprise change of pace! Complete with some seriously demonic sounding French by Regine, this one is a mixed bag. 8. Here Comes the Night Time II – Because one just isn’t enough. Although completely different, my notes for this one read simply “probably unnecessary”. 9. Awful Sound – Nice to see the acoustic guitar making an appearance – there’s also some cool A Day in the Life style noise crescendos. Definitely not an awful sound. 10. It’s Never Over – My notes recall this song sounding like the Labyrinth soundtrack – a distinct possibility going by the band’s love for Bowie. A bad-ass guitar riff kicks off the tune but it loses traction when the singing starts. 11. Porno – When the sleazy bassline began, a cheeky smirk went through the room – yes, the title says it all. I’m not sure AF pull off sexy but it didn’t stop them trying here. Simmer down Win. 12. Afterlife – The second single that goes absolutely nowhere. One of my least favourite tracks -no deal. 13. Supersymmetry – With five minutes of pretentious noise finishing the track, this one really tested the room’s endurance. The first five minutes could have made it all worthwhile, but they didn’t. An average conclusion to what was, on first listen, an average album. There were moments of brilliance, and I’m sure it will grow on me, but for now – I’ll crank Funeral.

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INAPPROPRIATE LOVE by Hazel Buckingham As a bit of a disclosure statement I feel like you should know I’m very qualified to write this article. At this current point in time I have: • • • •

Four wives Six husbands Several fiancés A couple of boy toys and several flirtationships

Luckily, none of them are actually supportive enough to read debate, so none of them hopefully know about each other. I also manage to fall in love ridiculously easily. Like, on a daily basis easily. Chances are, if you’re reading this article it means we’ve spoken before, and if we’ve spoken before I have probably been in love with you for about thirty seconds. So I don’t think it’s an overstatement when I call myself the Love Monster. I’m just that good. As someone who falls in love on a daily basis, it’s safe to say I’ve had my fair share of inappropriate crushes. Longingly gazing across the room at someone, be it a tutor, a best friend’s boyfriend, a third cousin twice removed, just gets even better when they are labeled “off limits”. It’s that whole ‘wanting what you can’t have’ thing that tends to get the blood pumping. One minute you’re swapping notes on Monday’s lecture, and the next you’ve envisioned an entire life plan for the two of you. You know exactly what your first kiss will be like, when you’ll be married, how many kids you’ll have…it goes on and on. In fact, I’ve planned out my entire life with people whose names I don’t even know. In first year I fell in love with one of my tutors. I was quite the novice Love Monster back then, and still got butterflies and blushed. Going up to him (OR HER…anonymity is key!) after class to ask questions became routine, simply to get closer to him. In fact I would even pretend not to understand things just so I could talk to him. I decided he would slowly fall in love with me through our intellectual bonding, and one hot and sticky Thursday afternoon while I was leaning across his desk asking him about references, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself any longer and pull me into his arms. From then on we could live out our own version of Ross and Elizabeth from Friends, the professor dating the grad student (of course I wasn’t a grad student and he wasn’t a professor). We’d have to sneak around on the sly. Elevators, his office, corridors, you name it. I was so wrapped up in this fantasy that my friend encouraged me to stalk him on Facebook. Which I did. This then proceeded to a very in depth Google search. However, this e-stalking proved to be fatal, as I discovered he was already married and my fantasy bubble was promptly burst. At that point in time, I knew to say no. What did I learn from this experience? Well I learned that ANY crush (be it inappropriate or not) that has you trawling the internet for

any mention of their name, diminishing parts of yourself (like your intelligence) and drooling over them like a lost puppy dog is unhealthy. I also learned that pistachio gelato is basically the only thing that will console you when you find out your one true love is already married. And finally that there are plenty more fish in the sea (as I continued on to find my four wives, six husbands etc. etc…). Also, later on in my degree I found out that it’s not actually against any kind of rules to have a relationship with your tutor (provided he isn’t married I suppose…), so that kind of removes some of the spice from the situation. I hear you ‘tutt-tutting’ at me from here, but COME ON. The Bachelor of Communications is like 90 per cent females, where else am I supposed to look? Besides don’t get up there on your moral high horse, I BET you have been in love with inappropriate people before. At least I knew to call it before it was too late. And it’s nowhere near as inappropriate as some of these…. One: Twilight’s Edward and Bella: come on? Necrophilia? Never okay. Not only that, but Edward’s like a vicious creature of the night. Talk about being in love with bad boys Bella… Also, he’s 104, she’s 17. HE’S ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR. Two: American Pie: now I don’t know who to pick. Stifler’s mum (40s) and Finch, or Jim and the apple pie, but they both aren’t exactly wholesome relationships… Three: Miley Cyrus and the Wrecking Ball: I just feel sorry for the ball in this pairing. Why is she naked? Just why? Four: Superman and Lois Lane: seems pretty harmless you think? But Clark Kent is like unidentified alien life, and if they have kids it could create some kind of untamable evil spawn…surely the FBI have something to say about that. Five: 50 First Dates – Drew Barrymore has amnesia and so Adam Sandler spends every day making him fall in love with her again. Sounds romantic at first, until you realise that he essentially kidnapped her on a boat and wouldn’t let her go until she remembered him. Yeah… swell…. So the main thing kiddies is to have the inappropriate crushes, but don’t act on them. Take a chill pill, or a cold shower, or something…. but don’t do anything that could potentially harm you, your reputation or someone else… You’re better than that. As for Love Monster and her moral high horse, well she’ll be going back to her four wives, six husbands and several fiancés now….