Goss From The Top

Goss from the top: A Look Into Our Favourite Celebrity Conspiracies

By Esther Mckay

In pop culture we are so invested in every little detail of our fave celebrities' lives it makes sense that it all gets a bit wild at times. I have spent an embarrassing number of hours of my life pouring over celeb conspiracies on the internet, but I shall no longer hide this obsession from the public! You deserve the truth! And I’m here to deliver it. So whether you can't even name a Kardashian, or believe Katy Perry is JonBenét Ramsey - buckle up because we are heading down the rabbit hole headfirst.

Keanu Reeves is Immortal

The actor you know today as Keanu Reeves has taken on multiple forms across history. His most well-documented identities are Charlemange (748-814 AD) and Paul Mounet (1847-1922), both of whom died under very suspicious and immortal-sounding circumstances. Now, I know what you're thinking, we’ve SEEN young Keanu in movies many

times so he must age - but has his appearance really changed? This man looks the same at age seventeen as he does at fifty five (if you even believe he is fifty five). Ambiguous king Keanu Reeves does not do us any favours in debunking this theory either. Whenever the immortal theory is brought up, Keanu charmingly shrugs it off with a range of vague and thought-provoking comments: “we’re all stardust baby.” Who says that?!? You may think this one is a stretch but with the combination of his all-knowing wisdom and surprisingly youthful appearance, it's easy to believe this man is immortal.

Avril Lavigne Died in 2003

Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by an actress. A blog was uncovered on the internet revealing a series of pictures of 2003 Avril Lavigne compared to 2013 Avril Lavigne, highlighting differences in freckles, facial features, and even bone structure. More proof that current Avril is a different person includes an unusual decrease in height, and a change in aesthetic from skater to pop princess. I switch my look up almost every week so I’m not going to judge her too hard on that one. Sadly, this one is a confirmed hoax - the Brazillian blog that the conspiracy originated from states that “this blog was created to show how conspiracy theories can look true.” Now we can all rest easy knowing that Avril Lavigne is not dead, but don’t get me started on her being a shapeshifting reptile...

Britney Spears Can’t Sing Anymore?

Britney Spears is a legend with a rollercoaster career, but I think this ride has a few more loops than you originally anticipated. The abridged version is that Britney Spears ruined her vocal chords after her record label trained her to sing in an unnatural baby-pop voice, and she only ever lip syncs in live shows. Britney Spears often gets caught out for bad lip-syncing in shows. Britney may be a legend but those lip syncs are legendary for the wrong reasons, yikes. Now to get into the REAL conspiracy. Britney released an album called Britney Jean, however, studio vocals of some of the songs got leaked, where Britney’s backup singer Myah Marie sings demo versions of the songs. Played on top of each other these tracks sound identical to the final studio versions from the album. From this we, the conspiracy theorists, can conclude that it is Myah Marie who sang lead vocals on a number of the songs on Britney Jean. Whether you think Myah sings all Britney's songs or just a few, you can’t argue that an extensive pop career spanning years wouldn't do a number on your vocal range.