Austere DAWN // Issue 19 by AUSTERE

AUSTERE DAWN

PHOTOGRAPHER EUGENE TRIGUBA

TABLE OF

CONTENTS I

W A K E 9 13 15 16 17 22

U P

INTRODUCTION HOME BY EMILY BENTLEY POETRY ROUGH PATCH BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY I AM BURNING BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY DEPTH WITH DAUGHTER INTERVIEW IN TRANSITION BY KENNEDIE CORK POETRY

T H E 9 13 15 16 17 22

W O R D

INTRODUCTION HOME BY EMILY BENTLEY POETRY ROUGH PATCH BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY I AM BURNING BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY DEPTH WITH DAUGHTER INTERVIEW IN TRANSITION BY KENNEDIE CORK POETRY

M O V E M E N T 9 13 15 16 17 22

INTRODUCTION HOME BY EMILY BENTLEY POETRY ROUGH PATCH BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY I AM BURNING BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY DEPTH WITH DAUGHTER INTERVIEW IN TRANSITION BY KENNEDIE CORK POETRY

D A W N 9 13 15 16 17 22

D A R K

INTRODUCTION HOME BY EMILY BENTLEY POETRY ROUGH PATCH BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY I AM BURNING BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY DEPTH WITH DAUGHTER INTERVIEW IN TRANSITION BY KENNEDIE CORK POETRY

H A S 9 13 15 16 17 22

A F T E R

T H E

S U N

S E T ?

INTRODUCTION HOME BY EMILY BENTLEY POETRY ROUGH PATCH BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY I AM BURNING BY RHYANNA ODOM POETRY DEPTH WITH DAUGHTER INTERVIEW IN TRANSITION BY KENNEDIE CORK POETRY

ARTIST TATYANA FAZLALIZADEH

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THE TEAM @

T H E

C O R E

2 0 1 7

I N T E R N S

C O N T R I B U T O R S

Founder + Editor-In-Chief

Writer

NATASHA BRITO Natasha@austeremag.com

ANA DRIA

Writer

Editor-At-Large

KRISTINA PRATER

GARRETT SMITH Garrett@austeremag.com

Photographer + Writer

LIZ GOODWIN

KJ MOODY KJ@austeremag.com

Event Planner

QUAYCE WILLIAMS

Business + Events

Fashion Assistant

CHARLOTTE SWAIN

QUINTELL BROOKS

Photographer

Fashion Assistant

ELLIE ALONZO Music@austeremag.com

WY SIMS

Fashion Editor

Lead Writer + Journalist LARISA MANESCU Larisa@austeremag.com

Lead Writer + Journalist ALCYNNA LLOYD Alcynna@austeremag.com

Digital Staff Writer TABITHA REDDER Austere QUEST // 6

WE’RE ENTITLED

TO THE CHANGE WE SEEK LETTER FROM THE EDITOR // NATASHA BRITO, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF AUSTERE

I will admit, I’ve waited until the very last minute to write this before sending this issue to the printers. I guess I’ve been avoiding the realization that this issue is coming to a close. Taking with it the time I’ve used to heal and make decisions for the future plans with Austere as a brand, where it needs to go, and what I want it to be. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to move with a purpose. Enter Quest. It’s an issue I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. However, I hadn’t felt it was never appropriate. Diving in head first and coming face to face with the reality that sometimes, if not most of the time, I have no fucking idea what I need to do is next is terrifying. All I’ve ever wanted was to reach the happiness and fulfillment that comes along with creating something I genuinely feel embodies who I am and what I want my work to be. Scratch that, what I NEED my work to be. Enter edifying. Before this issue was on paper I interviewed the wonderful musician Jenn Blosil. She introduced me to this word and I instantly fell head over heels. It means to instruct or improve someone morally, intellectually, or spiritually. I’ve had the honor of spending the last four years meeting incredible human beings around the world. Everyone I’ve met has had the same type of energy; an edifying energy. As creatives, we strive to bring people closer to us through our work in everything that we produce. That’s what this issue is to me. Of course throughout the entire thing I’ve been uncertain, but the passion that drives us all kept me going. Quest is an issue about accepting the unknown and re-understanding our goals and paths despite the deep sadness or confusion we may feel. It’s an issue about accepting the scars that make us, and realizing that true beauty lies in our resiliency. There is a common denominator in every interview, story, and poem in this issue; the humanity of riding the wave we call life and fighting like hell to stay alive. I 1

wanted to make this issue to teach us all that we’re not alone, and it is possible to re-discover your path when all you see is darkness. Throughout this issue I interviewed many artists and only kept one question the same. What is your mantra to life? This question to me is the most important to understanding your path and seeking out your future because it embodies every aspect of your being. The majority of answers I received had to do with being kind. Simplicity at it’s finest, in order to make your dreams come true. Crazy concept, am I right? LOL. It got me thinking about my mantra to life. I came up with: Create with purpose, insight change, and be honest. Three things that I feel embody my work, my life, and myself. Your mantra is what resonates deep inside your soul and is that little flicker of light that guides you in you endeavors. As creatives, it’s important to keep your mantra close to you at all times in order to stay afloat. It is in our weakest moments when we tend to lost sight of our path. It’s in these moments, while were grasping for anything that could possibly keep us from falling where we end up coming right back to that flicker. It’s our mantras that keep us whole. Use Quest as a tool for whatever step of life you may be in right now, or in the future. Use the words, the feelings, and surely the heart and soul I left in these pages to help guide you back home. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.”

“INSIDE OF ME THERE’S A MANTRA GOING ON THAT R EMINDS ME OF WHO I AM. IT’S THAT PLACE INSIDE – THAT NICHE IN THE WALL WHERE THE CANDLE FLAME NEVER FLICKERS. ALWAYS BRINGING ME RIGHT TO MY HEART WHERE WE DWELL ETERNALLY.” -RAM DASS

Austere DAWN // 2

PHOTOGRAPHER MARIJA ZARIC

[WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN] SECTION I _ It’s time to realize what’s at stake and take responsiblity into our own hands. Join the revolution.

W H A T ‘ S

I N

S T O R E

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE DIVIDE

F I N D

“ K I N ”

Y O U R

R E S I S T A N C E

P H O T O

S T O R Y Austere DAWN // 4

T H E

T R U T H

BEHIND THE DIVIDE BY GARRETT SMITH, EDITOR-AT-LARGE AUSTERE

So let’s just get right into it. Like a weekday morning, you’ve opened up the covers of your eyes, delving into the fresh pages of the day. Maybe you’re groggy, from all the recent developments in this country - it’s hard to get a solid night’s rest when you’re kept awake with apocalyptic visions of oppression and warfare, dancing in your head. Like that beloved cup of joe, though - we’re here to wake you up. There’s no point in wasting time, and there’s no time to waste. Many of us are divided. Broken, splintered, like so many leaves of a once beautiful novel, torn out from the spine and scattered. And when we try to put that story back together, the words get jumbled up, taken out of context. So many narratives are twisted or even erased in the cacophony of fear and hatred. You don’t need us to tell you that, though. You’re reading this - and we’re writing it - for two reasons: why it happened, and where do we go. As any constant reader may know, it’s all about the Quest - so you’ll have to tarry here a while longer if you wish to have that second question answered.

PHOTOGRAPHER ANTONIO JAGGIE

Enough meandering, though - what’s behind this divide?

We’re not going to turn this into some highly-technical YouTube classroom, or a intricately woven TED-talk knot. They have their spheres, and we, ours. Our domain is between these pages, and these pages are not so much about education as awakening. So the divide takes a few dichotomous forms, the roots of which are urban vs rural, and wealth vs poverty. For the entirety of United States socio-political history, these two dichotomies have driven the country. We’ve gone through cycles of disparity and unity, and we’ve seen the constituency of each side change. Any divide or nationwide argument has, at its roots, the difficult-to-bridge gap in the interests between the urban and the rural. The two have vastly different needs and priorities, and the dichotomous nature of our political system - a bicameral

legislature, and a bipartisan set of dominant political parties - is rooted in this duality. Now, of course, this is a simplification of a far-ranging, complex set of issues, but it is key to understanding what’s going on. Because what is really going on is a system that profits off of disparity. A system that has created a disparity which allows the wealthy to benefit, the elites to remain in power, and the common people to continue with in-fighting and distraction. See, it’s beneficial to create such a divide amongst the laity, because it tricks us into picking sides, waging battles, and ultimately, thinking we’ve picked good over evil. The natural dichotomy between urban and rural has been exploited by those in power, turned from simple differences that can be compromised, into a disparity that burns all bridges. And it manipulates the system into becoming us vs. them, which leads us to our second dichotomy - the wealthy vs. the poor. Ultimately, it’s a fabrication. We’ve all been duped into thinking that there is a rift impassable in this nation, and that we have to wait for some charismatic leader or messianic figure to lead us into unity. That is, simply put, an illusion, a mass delusion spread like a pesticide amongst the seeds of social thought. But you, oh, you - pioneers, artists, activists, dreamers, doers, lovers and fighters - yours is the springtime of awareness. The chutes and stems of your flowering have roots deeper than our would-be farmers can harvest, and it is time to blossom. It’s time to stop being consumers, and to start being conscious creators. It’s time to stop letting the fruits of our labor be exploited for greed and gain. We’re here to give you the tools for revolution. We know you’re groggy, exhausted, and the dust of sleep is still crusting your eyes. But it’s time to wake up - we’ve brought a new Dawn your way.

Hear that ringing? It’s the system calling. They want their sheep back. And here’s our answer: we are your flock no longer.

Austere DAWN // 6

ARTIST TATYANA FAZLALIZADEH (LEFT) / PHOTOGRAPHER MICHAEL COURIER (RIGHT)

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Since 45 took office, the youth—which I see as more of a disposition than an age—are showing up in droves to protest, to resist, and to question the America we were sold in history class. While we exercise our right to dissent, the dis-logic of older folks keeps bothering me.

TROPHY K I D S BY BEN TAYLOR, CONTRIBUTOR

I certainly don’t wish to cast an umbrella of criticism over all generations that preceded us, as both their literature and teaching have been essential to developing my critical mind. I know plenty of older people who oppose the current administration and also know peers my age and younger who buy into the dis-logic of the administration. What I mean by older folks, then, is a particular group of people who subscribe to the baseless idea that the world is fine and the youth should accept what happens on face value. In no group is this dis-logic more troubling than many of the Christians I know. I watched in 2016 as these Christians defended a man who openly mocked a differently abled reporter, who bragged about sexual assault, who practices daily degradation of marginalized communities through words (and now policies), and very clearly only cares about his own advancement. I speak of the Christians I know as a Christian myself, who studies theology in seminary because I believe that God must be saved from the dead theologies of today. Some of these Christians attempt to defend 45 biblically; others just confuse their political party with religion. Still more do not care if he is on God’s side or not: they just know he’s better than a Democrat, or a woman. I saw the argument about abortion played out, but unless these Christians come up with a different term than pro-life, they voted for a man who by his own admission signed a Muslim ban, and who consistently bares his teeth by criminalizing immigrant populations, erasing LGBTQ people from the next U.S. census, and remaining silent when white men commit hate crimes. He is all bark and all bite. To excuse any of these policies on some pro-life basis is to endorse the erasure of other lives. 45 is merely a symptom of larger problems that need deconstructing, but a symptom can still kill. To the Christians who would say, “It’s just a cough; it will pass,” remember that taking no side is still a position. King warned us about the silence of friends in moments like the present. Jesus had strong feelings about the lukewarm. What I notice from many of these well-intentioned Christians is that they take serious issue with the younger generation. They level criticisms

at millenials with labels of lazy, whiny, sensitive, politically correct, ungrateful, snowflakes, entitled, etc. Many believe most protestors are unemployed, and that they will be in for a rude awakening if they ever get jobs. They hurl insults at young people and then wonder why they are not going to church.

A trophy, which says we did better than others, was always meant to place us above others, when what we want now is to be equals.

An idea amongst older folks is that we are a generation of trophy kids, the ones who grew up receiving “too much praise,” getting medals for mere participation, and not earning much of anything at all. They sincerely believe this over-praising caused us to collectively grow up and demand what we don’t deserve, never mind that our demands are for human rights for oppressed populations to live without fear of persecution, exclusion, or execution. Apparently, in their eyes women and African-Americans and Muslims and LGBTQ people haven’t “earned” these basic rights.

A trophy is just some symbol of an American dream of greatness that has been exposed for what it is—a dream and nothing more.

The generations before us have miscalculated. The problem with the millennial generation is not that we were given too many trophies when we were young: the problem is that we reject the notion of empty signs of victory. We received the trophies made by older generations, and asked, “What value do these have?”

We seek to love radically and bring justice into reality in a nation that treats freedom as only hypothetical.

A trophy, a symbol of some great accomplishment, means less to us than the accomplishment of having participated, having been a part of something larger than ourselves.

I hear many Christians and older folks talking a lot about us, but they’re saying little. Their dis-logic paints us with broad strokes before we have finished the portrait. There is hustle in our

A trophy, a social construct that ultimately equates to a pat on the back, tells us to compete when we just want to create.

We seek to break these trophies and share the pieces amongst one another, or throw them out altogether.

dismantling of the Great American Hustle. We’re emotional, yes, but because people are in pain and we believe that our hearts should not be disentangled from our heads. If we’re ungrateful to any gift, it’s because the gift bestowed upon us turned out to be a gag. We feel entitled to pursuing a real American dream just like the generations before us did, to strive for the work that is never finished. Our criticism is aimed at realizing what this nation should promise everyone, not just the select few. If you want to call us trophy kids, so be it. Just understand we’re working to earn a dream that has us woke and not sleeping.

We seek to question the so-called answers given about history and American greatness. We seek to bring real change to a nation that professionally fakes progress.

We seek a church where all are truly welcome at the table, and where open criticism of an oppressive administration is an act of faith and not a distraction.

” The problem with the millennial generation is not that we were given too many trophies when we were young: the problem is that we reject the notion of empty signs of victory. We received the trophies made by older generations, and asked, What value do these have? ” Austere DAWN // 10

Build a wall, it won’t keep us from loving each other Rewrite the law, it won’t keep us from loving each other Resist resist resist resist --- F.U.W. by Jussie Smollett (Actor, Singer, Photographer - best known for Empire)

RESIST. Since November, that word has been spoken, sung, and spread on social media to describe any effort identified as an act of defiance to the current administration.

It’s a rallying call. In reality, people have been resisting.

BY LARISA MANESCU, AUSTERE

find your resistance 11

Why are we back in the past? It’s the same script, different cast All of these alternative facts Catch me outside, how about that?

Our political climate has lit the fire for people to reflect on their contributions to bettering society, but that doesn’t mean all contributions need to (or can) look the same. Resistance takes many forms, and all are necessary. Feelings of anger, betrayal and fear may seem defeating at first, but when they’re channeled properly, they become powerful forces when in creating effect, organized change.

STEP ONE: WHAT AND WHO? Pick an issue, find out who are your representatives (Google at your fingertips!) by searching with your zip code, and find their numbers.

STEP TWO: SAY WHAT? Know what you’ll say when you call – brainstorm a natural short and sweet script, or just wing it if you’re a natural. It doesn’t matter how awkward you are - they’re really just tallying you for where constituents stand on an issue. Most of us are guilty of sidelining city and state politics. Our system is set up in a way that every four years, political campaigns that feel more like a reality TV meets comedy show take over the national stage. Candidates are pitted each against each other and every move is hyper-analyzed. Local and state legislation, less entertaining but equally as important, gets pushed through largely under the radar day in and day out.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? For bills in session in Texas, you must physically show up at the Texas State Capitol in Austin to register your position or testify (speak for/against) the bill. Know the bill number, which committee is hearing the bill and the time/location of the hearing. Seek out organizations + resources that make legal jargon more digestible (Project Vote Smart explains bills in commonsense bullet points) Show up to town hall meetings (that is, if the Texans in Congress will start hosting them; the Texas Tribune reported in Feb. that not many have been held, but this might change in the summer) Get to know the players on the ground (local activists/non-profit organization/ advocacy groups) who’ve been resisting long before the current administration took office.

Local Government Hacks

Make Calling Cool Again

Austere DAWN // 12

E are the watchdogs of government. Having the ability to hold olice accountable is one indicator that we’re a free society. So rofessional journalists and citizen journalists alike, keep reading. ny photography/filming of things plainlyCAMERA visible ROLLING from public spacKnow Your Rights: KEEP THE s is a constitutional right, including police and other government fficials carrying out their duties, as long as you are not interering If you are stopped/detained, ask “Am I free to go?” If hreatened with arrest, state “I am not physically interfering” speech doesn’t count as interference) If officer says no, ask what crime you are suspected of committing and remind officer hat taking photographs is your right under First Amendment. Don’t trespass, don’t enter a designated crime scene, and don’t ouch the police. (Sources: ACLU and Peaceful Streets Project) E are the watchdogs of government. Having the ability to hold olice accountable is one indicator that we’re a free society. So rofessional journalists and citizen journalists alike, keep reading. ny photography/filming of things plainly visible from public spacs is a constitutional right, including police and other government fficials carrying out their duties, as long as you are not interering If you are stopped/detained, ask “Am I free to go?” If hreatened with arrest, state “I am not physically interfering” speech doesn’t count as interference) If officer says no, ask what crime you are suspected of committing and remind officer hat taking photographs is your right under First Amendment. WE are the watchdogs of government. Having the ability to hold police accountable is one indicator that we’re a free society. So professional journalists and citizen journalists alike, keep reading.

Any photography/filming of things plainly visible from public spaces is a constitutional right, including police and other government officials carrying out their duties, as long as you are not interfering If you are stopped/detained, ask “Am I free to go?”

If threatened with arrest, state “I am not physically interfering” (speech doesn’t count as interference)

If officer says no, ask what crime you are suspected of committing and remind officer that taking photographs is your right under First Amendment. Don’t trespass, don’t enter a designated crime scene, and don’t touch the police. (Sources: ACLU and Peaceful Streets Project)

The reality is that we live in a capitalist society, meaning som level of consumption is inevitable and it’s difficult to be 100% conscious consumers. But we can try to be intentional about ou spending. Some ideas: MONEY Supporting minority-owned entrepreneurs MATTERS businesses that genuinely have social good in mind (this include treating their own employees well!) Take your money out of bank funding the Dakota Access Pipeline put money into credit unio Boycott companies that don’t reflect your ideals and take you business elsewhere. Here’s an example: I frequented Summermoo Coffee in Austin, Texas until a friend told me about an inciden SOME IDEAS: where NARAL Pro-Choice Texas reached out about a donation fo a silent auction and the owner sent back an email stating “W are Pro Life and do not believe in the killing of precious innocen babies” and linking to a video where abortion is compared to th Holocaust. Whelp, there’s plenty of coffee shops in this city! Th reality is that we live in a capitalist society, meaning some leve of consumption is inevitable and it’s difficult to be 100% consciou consumers. But we can try to be intentional about our spending Some ideas: Supporting minority-owned entrepreneurs + business es that genuinely have social good in mind (this includes treat ing their own employees well!) Take your money out of bank funding the Dakota Access Pipeline put money into credit unio Boycott companies that don’t reflect your ideals and take you business elsewhere. Here’s an example: I frequented Summermoo The reality is that we live in a capitalist society, meaning some level of consumption is inevitable and it’s difficult to be 100% conscious consumers. But we can try to be intentional about our spending.

Supporting minority-owned entrepreneurs + businesses that genuinely have social good in mind (this includes treating their own employees well!) Take your money out of banks funding the Dakota Access Pipeline → put money into credit union.

Boycott companies that don’t reflect your ideals and take your business elsewhere.

Here’s an example: I frequented Summermoon Coffee in Austin, Texas until a friend told me about an incident where NARAL ProChoice Texas reached out about a donation for a silent auction and the owner sent back an email stating “We are Pro Life and do not believe in the killing of precious innocent babies” and linking to a video where abortion is compared to the Holocaust. Whelp, there’s plenty of coffee shops in this city!

Austere DAWN // 14

Protest PRO TIPS For organizers: Depending on the location of your protest, check with your city’s local permit ordinance to see if you need to apply for a permit. For attendees: Take note that some protests engage in civil disobedience (blocking intersections or highways); look into your state’s laws to know the statutes most often invoked against demonstrators and make the decision whether you’re willing to take the risk or not. Source: ACLU Texas ~~~ If the protest is to uplift the voices of a certain demographic (i.e. you’re a white person going to a Black Lives Matter protest) and you are not a part of that demographic, you are absolutely still welcome to come and demonstrate solidarity! (Unless an event has been strictly designated as a “safe space” for that demographic, but protests are typically open to all.)

Familiarize yourself with the intention behind the protest or rally, be respectful, and don’t speak over anyone. It’s crucial to understand the true meaning of intersectionality among issues, which isn’t that we’re all holding hands and singing kumbaya together. Intersectionality means acknowledging historical and systematic oppression, so it’s being aware that while misogyny was a big factor in Trump’s election, the fact that so many white women across the country voted for him makes race impossible to ignore. The reason the Women’s March (which drew out historic numbers!) drew controversy was because people questioned where all those people that showed up in droves where for other rallies and protests (i.e. Black Lives Matter, No DAPL (Dakota Access Pipeline), LGBTQ rights). And finally, be mentally prepared that things “go wrong.” A stampede could break out, the police could unleash weapons of crowd control (tear gas, water cannons, rubber bullets) and police horses - typical in Texas - are unpredictable and could hurt you if you’re in a packed crowd - try to stay out of their way if you can.

DON’T STOP CREATING Write, sing, dance, and seek whatever brings you a sense of purpose and peace. Maybe your work, your resistance, IS your self-care – that’s a beautiful thing. After all, as history shows time and time again, it is in times of political darkness that light makes its way through in through poetry, films, music and literature. Artists are reflections of the times. But don’t feel bad for being silly, indulging in seemingly “un-important” past-times, or simply resting. Don’t deny yourself your own happiness because you feel like you need to be outwardly upset or visibly angry.

REMEMBER THAT JOY IS ALSO AN ACT OF RESISTANCE.

Austere DAWN // 16

PHOTOGRAPHER // CRAWFORD CONNAWAY HMU // BRANDY ADAMS STYLIST // RUBEN BURGESS JR. MODELS // IAN MAGRUDER, JARED MEDEIROS CLOTHING (STYLIST OWN): BOMBER JACKETS - ELVNTHHR STIRRUP PANTS - BALENCIAGA S-LEG BLACK PANS - COMME DES GARÇONS BOOTS - TRASH AND VAUDEVILLE WHITE TSHIRT - BILLY LOS ANGELES SONIC YOUTH SWEATER - SANDRO PARIS BLUE PLAID PANTS - JACQUEMUS

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29 PHOTOGRAPHER DEVIN YALKIN

[FEMINISM] SECTION II _ Now more than ever people need to understand that equality goes beyond gender and beyond titles.

W H A T ‘ S

I N

S T O R E

INTERSECTIONALITY IN FEMINISM

T H E

FAC E S

A U D R E Y

THE

SEX

O F

T H E

A B O RT I O N

A R T I S T

REVOLUTION Austere DAWN // 30

INTERSECTIONALITY IN

F E MINISM

PHOTOGRAPHER ELLIE ALONZO, AUSTERE

BY ALCYNNA LLOYD, AUSTERE

Close your eyes, and imagine a woman. Is this woman tall or short? Skin dark as the richest soil? Perhaps, pale like a cloudless sky. Is she thin like stems stretching on a flower, or round like the juiciest fruit? Does she have long draping locks, or tight kinky curls? Is her voice high and enchanting like singing birds or maybe it is low like the songs of deep ocean whales? Does she remind you of your mother? Or maybe the stranger you met eyes with on the train? What is her story? Did she grow up comfortable and sheltered, or was her upbringing a tale of hunger and sadness? Is her spirit fiery or is she gentle? In her eyes do you see warmth, or is there coldness in her gaze? The woman you imagined is inherently different than the woman anyone else could have imagined. Our brands of femininity are often created by the environments in which we were raised. However, narratives of ideal womanhood have historically haunted our perceptions of ourselves and each other. So why are mainstream ideas of femininity so singular? We find our answer in the constructs that have always shaped our lives. We have been told by the media that our value is based on appeal, while politicians use legislation to decide which of us get more rights than others. Education is often yet another indication of the level of appeal we hold for society. It is easier to point out the physical differences about us, than it is to address the social and political factors that impact us. Women of color have always been disenfranchised because of their ethnicity; trans women have experienced prejudice because of a lack of understanding. Both have suffered from a lack of empathy. These factors intertwine with one another, and are the foundation for Intersectionality in feminism - these women explain what intersectionality means to them, and why it is so essential:

JUSTINE: To me, feminism without Intersectionality isn’t feminism at all. This is because it acknowledges women’s overlapping identities in which they may face oppression, advocating for all women in the end. Intersectionality is important because it involves constant learning and growth when it comes to recognizing one’s own privileges in areas such as class, race, sexuality, and cultural identity. It focuses on the inclusiveness of all of those differing identities, including femmes, transgender women, and non-binary people and how they face oppression rather than advocating for only cis/het, middle-class woman. FRANCESCA: What Intersectionality in feminism means is not ignoring every aspect of prejudice against femininity. This includes misogyny and transmisogyny. Intersectional feminism is the only feminism that matters, honestly. Because women are intersectional and we are marginalized by sexuality, skin color, cultural and occupation wise. Feminism otherwise is just cishet white feminism. Feminism itself should only be intersectional. ARIEL: The importance of recognizing Intersectionality in feminism is to acknowledge that not every female experiences oppression in the same way, there are several types of oppression for each individual. The way I am affected by oppression - as a white young female from Saginaw - is not the same way my other female friends of different backgrounds and races experience it and that feminism needs a larger voice from people of all different races, backgrounds, classes, ages, and sexual orientations. The importance is to respect every woman and consider each individual’s different life experiences as a whole. The purpose of feminism is to join women and men together for the equality of the sexes for the sake of humanity.

DANIELLE: As a white bisexual female with little personal experience in the greater queer community, intersectionality was a vital piece of knowledge to understand. It help me reiterate personally how every human wants to be respected, felt validated, supported. It’s the utmost acceptance and recognition any “true” feminist can provide or feel. I hope that as time passes, people as a whole will educate and empower themselves and others through intersectionality. As a white female, I recognize the differences between my intersectionality and of others and hope to use my “normality” as a flagship to carry the message and provide as much support through my voice as possible. It’s almost like a moral obligation, and I hope to fulfill it. NAOMI: One of my favorite online posts says “feminism without intersectionality is just white supremacy”, which is true. As a mixed, queer, fat individual, intersectionality is super important to me. Intersectionality’s goal is to lift up oppressed individuals and give space for those stories and experiences. Intersectionality is even more necessary now in the light of recent political changes as hate and bigotry are on the rise. Feminism has given me a voice, it has opened doors of compassion and knowledge in me, as well as helps me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue my dream of being a burlesque dancer. Intersectional feminism lifts up those who can’t lift themselves through community. In short, without it, i wouldn’t honestly be able to function.

Austere DAWN // 32

THE FACES OF

AB OR T ION BY ALCYNNA LLOYD, AUSTERE

ANON TWO: I heard and understood the risks. I agreed to the abortion. My only condition is that Zac be with me through the two day procedure to make sure that no problems occurred. With a medical abortion your doctor provides you with a series of pills to take at home, on the first day, you place two pills inside your tongue to soften the cervix. The next day you take two more pills to pass the clump of cells that would someday, given the right environment, become a fetus. On this day, your doctor will recommend that you have someone with you to make sure you aren’t bleeding out of experience other complications. Zac agreed to stay with me during the whole procedure; He dropped me off as soon as I had the pills and never came back. Because of the stigma surrounding abortion, I didn’t feel like there was anyone I could reach out to, so I lay in bed and dealt with the pain and the blood and the heartache alone. I did not gain the courage to speak out about it for several years. I believe that abortion is healthcare. I’d do not see the two as separate things. Women living in poverty have less access to abortion care, which forced them to bring children into an ill-prepared and sometimes unwelcome upbringing, completing the circle of poverty. Anti-choice legislators have realized that while they cannot overturn the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, they can prevent many women form receiving this care by doing their best to make it impossible. This leaves opportunity of only women with a great deal of privilege to receive abortion care. I met victims of unsafe abortion. Women who have landed in the hospital after attempting to take enough drugs to induce a miscarriage, or trying the infamous “Wire hanger method.” Women are dying because they are being denied the healthcare they need. This is entirely preventable. My abortion was essential. There was never a choice for me. I couldn’t go through another painful and heartbreaking miscarriage due to my faulty cervix, and I wouldn’t bring a child into a life of poverty and resentment, the only life I knew I could provide at the time. I don’t feel like my abortion has fundamentally changed me, it does not define me. I do not share this story with everyone, though I am no longer ashamed of it. Abortion is healthcare. Women deserve healthcare. It’s time for the stigma to end.

PHOTOGRAPHER ELLIE ALONZO

ANON ONE: Ya know once it was all said and done, it was over and yeah. Um, the next day I was very drained from the experience, and I kind of question, maybe I should’ve waited and gone the operation route but looking back on it now, I am glad I went the route I took. Though I found out through other people that I could’ve taken pain medication, but maybe my physician wasn’t informed well or as well as others, I’m not sure. So that’s the only thing I regret is not doing anything like that to help with the pain. And um yeah, going back for my check up was when the people protesting really got to me because I had gone through that experience, and they were kind of harassing me and the clinic I went too was actually right next door to a church and they had this huge wall, so right when you pull in you saw the people protesting, and once again… all men. And to the left were all these signs saying you are going to go to hell don’t do this to your baby, blah blah. So at first it wasn’t all that bad, but after going through the whole process and the pain, you know just the physical emotion draining it cause kind of got to me, but in the end I am glad I went that route. And as I already stated already, I feel like the painful thing was that my significant other at the time wasn’t there for me. I mean even though I said he supported me in a way he wasn’t even there emotionally, I think it bothered him as well, or even in general and he just took it out on me by not being there for me at all. I don’t think I could say why he did it; I don’t really have a reason. I was just, I had another semester to graduate and I just felt like even though we had been together for so long, we were both still pretty young and had no money I was a struggling photographer going to college he was a kind of a bum in a way, so it was just bad timing and yeah and I guess that was my experience.

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ANON THREE: The experience for me was rather traumatizing, as protesters were waiting outside the Fort Worth clinic I went to. While I was in college, I had done clinic escorts. But nothing prepares you for the long and lonely walk from the car to front door while people yell hateful things at you. I got inside the clinic and broke down, and still to this day remember the nurse saying, “They don’t have anything better to do, don’t listen to them.” I still remember being fully awake during the procedure itself and trying so hard to keep my eyes shut. Nothing prepares you for making that choice. There’s that quote that gets thrown around on the Internet a lot that has never felt more true to me that goes something like, “No woman wants an abortion like she wants an ice cream; she wants an abortion like a trapped animal wants to gnaw off its own leg.” I wish there were more non-religious support groups for women/people who have had abortions. I wish practitioners were allowed to give more information. I hope one day, the process for a woman getting an abortion isn’t so emotionally debilitating. It doesn’t matter why a woman wants an abortion; she should be taken care of before, during, and after.”

ANON FOUR: There was like a huge wait, so I was there for like 3 hours, just waiting to see the doctor. I got my…”I’m going to start crying”… my sonogram. I wasn’t required to look at it, but I wanted to and have them print it out for me. This was at 7 weeks, 6 weeks and 5 days; it was a third of an inch long. Umm, so I really didn’t want to do it after that. My boyfriend basically fed me a bunch of Xanax, until I could go in the next day, and get it done. And I regret it. I really regret it. I threw up right after the procedure happened. And I could feel it gone. I could feel it when it was in there, because my uterus was three times the size, it felt like a chicken egg. You know how you can tell when a person is in the room with you? I felt like that, but right after it didn’t feel like that anymore and that’s when I realized I had really fucked up. My relationship after that really plummeted, for a month I was really depressed I wouldn’t go out or anything, and he didn’t get it because he thought it wasn’t a human. It wasn’t a thing. I was being so needy it pushed him away, and basically the only reason I did this was because he said that was the only reason he would stay, and we could do that in the future but not right now. He ended up basically emotionally leaving me after that anyway, so I really regret that decision. Having everyone else on Facebook posting their own opinions on this, on something they’ve never had to experience themselves pro-or against, just seeing it all the time made it harder.

Austere DAWN // 36

@AUDREYTHEARTIST

Austere DAWN // 38

NOT OUR TIME BY GARRETT SMITH, EDITOR-AT-LARGE AUSTERE

We honestly aren’t sure where to begin, in addressing this topic - and this is, unfortunately, the very positioning of many men in this country - is it no longer our time? Where do we stand, Where do we go?

This is proving itself to be a huge issue in our country. With rising tides of feminist activism and art, and less emphasis on straight/cis/ white male output, many men wonder about their place. From what we’ve seen, most men react with either 1) a defense mechanism of essentially animalistic chest-puffing, inflating their appearance to affect a more intimidating appearance so that would-be “feminazi” predators and competitors back off, masking a thinly veiled fear of being outmoded, pushed aside, made irrelevant, or 2) a desperate and often artificial attempt to try to “join em”, since they can’t “beat em”, becoming strange, parroting push-overs who engage in pedestalplacing benevolent sexism and POC-fetishization, or 3) they become paralyzed, caught in the crossfire, turning critical, questioning and skeptical - uncertain of their path, but neither a parrot or a piece of shit. The first two categories will always exist within any group that finds themselves feeling ostracized or less-than. The first is just plain horrible, and the second masquerades as something good, but in the end, is problematic. The third, however, is an interesting position, and the starting place for real dialogue, and personal growth. It’s hard to give an answer to the questions of “where is our place” and “what do we do” when men beg these questions. There’s a sort of societal thought, stewing away in the back of our collective minds, that is saying “men have had their time”. Sure, would-be creatives and artists still have their dues, and we are not so progressive and advanced that we can say that men are really being pushed out of their position of privilege by third-wave feminism. But, looking ahead, it’s hard to say that things won’t, at least for a time, shift in balance, and, like a metronome, favor the female side of things in an effort to equalize via see-sawing between extremes. Something needs to be said, though, for anyone pondering these things: feminism is intersectional. And while, yes, most of that means focusing on struggles of all kinds of women, in all kinds of places, and broadening the perspective of what is feminine and who or what a woman is - it also means advocating for progressing notions of masculinity and being a man, as well. So, men - don’t fret. Despite what many Internet-lurkers and Tea-Party attendees might lead you to believe,

feminism is not man-eating, nor man-hating. Not real feminism, at least. Beyond that, though, is another truth, a hardline answer within a haze of uncertainty: It isn’t your time, anymore. Now, before you begin spiraling into despair at the existential dilemma of being in a time that is indifferent to your struggles, your hopes - listen to us. It is not your time, anymore - it is our time. It is not our time, men, because it is everyone’s time, now. Once upon a time, if you were a man, it was your time, and no one else’s. As a white man, you had a leg up over just about every other demographic. Now, we’re heading further and further into a time that is opening its doors to anyone and everyone. When you have heretofore been the one on top, well, it certainly feels like you’re falling when other people are allowed into your tower. It’s no fault of current men that things were this way - but it will be your fault if you cannot look past yourself, and see the bigger picture beyond the frame of your being. You’re not being punished in any way - we are all simply experiencing a kind of jet-lag; in this case, not so much an instance of catching up to a changing time zone, but changing times catching up with progressive sensibilities. So, it’s not just our time, anymore. That, assuredly, has passed. This is a good thing. Because it is truly our time now, to be shared with everyone, no exclusion on who “we” are - a time to be given to anyone who works and is worthy in earning their spotlight. It’s good not to be guaranteed anything; creativity never came from someone being handed everything. Creativity comes from limitation, from struggle, from the passion of working past the point of giddy inspiration and into the realm of true, sweaty, messy artistic birth. It’s everyone’s time, and only the people who do not want to share it will be excluded. Fret no more, straight men, white men, cis men, or any kind of man! For only those who had nothing worth sharing in the first place - save their distasteful, carefully hidden prejudices and thin skinned narcissism - should be worried in the assurance that they will be displaced or forgotten.

Austere DAWN // 40

THE SEX ED REVOLUTION: Artists Lifting Shame & Stigma

STORY BY LARISA MANESCU, AUSTERE ARTWORK (LEFT) BY MEREDITH GRACE WHITE // ARTWORK (RIGHT) BY JAQUELINE SECOR

When I envision the ideal sex ed “package,” I think of fact-based stigmafree information about birth control and STIs. I fantasize about honest, open discussions about consent and sexuality. I hope for time invested and accuracy guaranteed, of questions answered and concerns reassured. It’s a package that would stir fear in the hearts of politicians and parents in Texas. It seems completely out of reach. But why? The package most teens who grew up in Texas (or any of the 26 states that stress abstinence) got was empty, void of support or education. Maybe it wasn’t quite empty, though. It was filled with the intangible burden of shame, a heavy, lasting substance that would take years to wipe off. The package was hurriedly wrapped in thin gift paper, the same paper that abstinence speakers compared our virginity to in auditoriums filled with impressionable minds. Virginity: One of the most important things about us. Or so they’d have us think. Too many of us were left uninformed, fallen between the gap of systematic and parental negligence. But out of this seemingly dark, hopeless system, we grew up and we unlearned what we were “taught.” We began having the conversations we need to be hearing and sharing the images we need to be seeing when it comes to sex. Although federal funding for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs significantly decreased under the Obama administration, the current administration puts us at another crossroads. Those who have the power to push for comprehensive sex ed in public schools aren’t going to do us any favors anytime soon. Yet we can take back control, if we’re willing to get creative and make the effort to introduce truth in sex ed. Like this radical notion: “You can change your mind about anything at any time. ANY thing. ANY time. Even in the middle of sex, even if you’re 102 years old, even that you want to start dating someone with different biology than you have in the past, 41

even about whether you ever want to have sex at all. Your body belongs to you, and you should always feel good about who you’re sharing it with, even if that’s no one, even if that’s lots of people.” Elisabeth Aultman, the producer of the California-based FCK YES web series that depicts affirmative consent in a funny, honest and relatable way, wants young people to know that “consent is for everyone.” The project’s 14-episode first season involved eight creators, thirty-five actors, and a 90-percent female crew on a micro-budget. Funding to get the second season available on Seed & Spark, a film-centric crowdfunding and online streaming platform, is currently in the works. The project’s creators are intentional about representing a diversity of experiences on screen by “creating dialogues in various communities about the intersections of how race, gender, class, and ability show up in the bedroom.” Making that happen means hiring and consulting with a diverse team of people. “Finding talented, driven, community-oriented people who aren’t cisheterosexual white men was perfectly simple,” Elisabeth says. The message is clear: You are not alone in your experience. You exist, and we see you. From confusion over how consent is brought up to ideas about how genitalia is supposed to look, young people’s perceptions of sex are warped by the unofficial sex ed of many: the porn industry. To combat the onedimensional images and messages in porn, more and more artists are creating work that is both educational and activist in its intention. Local Denton Artist Meredith Grace White started drawing vulva and vagina imagery as a “personal rebellion against art and societal norms.” Growing up in Texas with typical sex ed scare tactics, “genitalia covered in STDs and watching a video about the perils of intercourse,” she says one of her longterm goals is to change and expand sex education as much as possible. A part of a larger feminist illustrator community promoting messages of

body positivity and self-confidence about body hair choices, periods and the diversity of the unedited human body, her Instagram account (@ClubClitoris) took off in popularity after Willow Smith shared a piece of hers about normalizing menstruation. While Meredith has received plenty of positive feedback, she’s also gotten her share of violent reactions, including rape and death threats. The negative, in addition to the positive, serves as a reminder of why she does what she does. “The fact that seeing vagina illustrations can cause such true anger and horror is clear proof that my mission is important.” We need this work because there are men that still correlate the appearance of labia minora (the inner lips of a vulva) or vaginal “looseness” to how much sex a woman has had, meaning that they believe that a penis has the power of reshaping a woman’s vulva or vagina. These beliefs not only reflect a misunderstanding of basic anatomy, but a deeper ingrained problem with the way in which we view female sexuality. You don’t hear people talking about a promiscuous-looking penis that has lost its shape because it’s been used too often.

We need this work because it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize the difference between vulva and vagina, and I know I’m not alone. Utah-based Painter Jacqueline Secor also combats the limited representation of vulvae in porn through her “Diversity in Nature” series, nature-inspired paintings of real models - friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers - who send their photos to her. “This series honors each body in all of its individuality. It is my hope that in the face of such beauty, there will be no room left for comparison,” her artist statement reads. Jacqueline says the project wasn’t originally intended to be public or political; the paintings were a personal manifestation from a time in her life when she was dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship and environment. Raised Mormon but having since resigned from the Church, painting the spectrum of vulvae helped her to process the body dysmorphia she developed after moving to Utah. After positive feedback from close family and friends, she realized the power of her work in helping others deal with their own deeprooted insecurities about their bodies. “Even today, despite the prevalence of female nudes in art museums, despite the accessibility to pornography, there is still tremendous pressure on women to hide themselves, to be ashamed of whatever doesn’t conform to societal standards of beauty and propriety,” she says. “It’s part of this strange dichotomy that culture has created for women: reveal and conceal. On one hand, we’re always supposed to reveal enough of ourselves to be sexually attractive, but simultaneously we’re expected to conceal our bodies, our opinions, and, ultimately, I believe, our power.” As with most societal taboos, being pressured into silence about sex is the root of harmful misconceptions and generalizations. Pushback against that, people shamelessly speaking out and creating work that peels back the layers of deception, is refreshing and contagious. The breaking of stigma surrounding topics of sex creates a domino effect of personal testimony that doubles as political resistance. One person gets inspired to reveal their own truth to inspire others, and so on, and so on. Together, we learn from one another, growing and healing out of the cracked sex ed system.

Austere DAWN // 42

[GET GOING] SECTION III _ There

are

many

aspiring

create change and few doing so, will you be one of them?

T H E

I N

N E W

G E N E R A T I O N

S A N D R A

A R T

A F R I Q U E

S T O R E H E R O

N E X T

S A E N Z

P A N

D U L C E

E D I T O R I A L

ARTIST ANGELICA DASS

W H A T ‘ S

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THE NEW

HERO

PHOTOGRAPHER IAN ESPINOSA (LEFT) // PHOTOGRAPHER DEV BENJAMIN (RIGHT)

BY GARRETT SMITH, EDITOR-AT-LARGE AUSTERE

When the word “hero” is expressed, or imagined, it’s easy enough to say that in most cases, one extends the term and equates it with “superhero”. The classic inhumanly muscular “man-in-tights”, replete with flowing cape, gleaming smile, and waxy, supple jawline. Hero is often equated to some unachievable ideal such as this, but extends further into the every day, with “hero” being equated to those in the armed forces, firefighters, police officers, and so on. It even goes further, into the more “average” individual, performing some great feat of action that saves the day, so to speak. And there we have the distilled notion of the classic hero: action. Whether it be the heroes of Golden Age comic books, or the heroes of the “Greatest Generation” and the Baby Boomers, or even the heroes of every day tragedy and crisis, there is a deep-seeded notion of a hero as being a Hero of Action. However, in the reality of modern day, such a Hero of Action is as fictitious as that flying, perfectly chiseled superhuman. Now, why would we say that? Well, we need to first understand that heroes - of the super and the mundane varieties - have evolved via the culture they exist in. As such, there have been and continue to be shifting concepts for what a hero is. We’ll start with the hero we’ve been talking about so far, which we have deigned to designate “The Hero of Action”. The classic Hero of Action dates all the way back to the epics of old - Gilgamesh, the Odyssey, and so on - and continued to persist into the advent of comic books, which were both emboldened by and embodiments of the World War era of good vs. evil on a worldwide scale. To

combat the sheer, uncertain terror of a world in conflict with itself, narratives of heroism, good guys, evil villains, and righteous duty were all peddled by both propaganda and pop culture. Thus, the advent of the superhero. And this conception of what defines a hero was so powerful - being so ingrained in human culture, via the aforementioned roots of storytelling in ancient epics - that it lingered nearly into contemporary culture. It still does, and probably always will; like any form of evolution, though, we find branching. The Silver Screen and modern cinema brought with it the concept of action films, especially during the “Golden Age of Cinema” during the 80s, with classics such as the Die Hard series, Lethal Weapon, and so on. Again, these were men of Action - but something slowly began to change. In these film series and in other popular culture phenomena, we saw a shift that eventually revealed a new hero, for a newly emerging era in art that became known as post-modernism. In a less stable, less dichromatic world, the heroes and villains were not so readily discernible - and as such, the Hero of Reaction was born. This Hero was not the gleaming perfection of their predecessors, nor were they even an ideal to aspire to. They were closer to the average individual, in that they did not actively seek out crime to fight, or evil to vanquish. They were the unwilling hero, but a hero nonetheless. They were often an average, unsculpted individual who saw the coarse ambiguity of the emerging modern world, and as such, didn’t immediately jump into action. They rose to the call when absolutely necessary, but they gave us something that no other hero had given before: doubt. Uncertainty. Things

Austere DAWN // 46

PHOTOGRAPHER IAN ESPINOSA

being asked against evil, Then, we had a Hero of Reaction, who perceived a broken and ambiguous world, where there was badness in the good guys, and humanity in the villain. He was reluctant, but rose to necessity. And now, in a world even further fractured and yet, strangely, even more connected than ever, notions such as “good and evil” have eroded to near-complete nothingness. Good guys can be ruthless anti-heroes, and “bad guys” can have motives that question are morality. Rugged individualism can become antagonistic, and objective morality loses sway when a global community is at stake. With simple keystrokes or PIN numbers, whole systems, cultures, and global entities can be taken down, there is little solid ground to stand on, much less, to prompt solid action. Enter the most ambiguous hero yet: The Hero of Inaction. The Hero of Inaction is multi-faceted, despite the paralysis the name suggests. He is torn between fighting and waiting, between conscientious objection and potentially disastrous intervention. We see this hero everywhere, if we look past Hollywood and Facebook. Because it has become so unclear whether action will achieve a morally desirable result - and because we have been forced to recognize the fact that what is morally “good” to someone may be the opposite to others - the contemporary Hero finds themselves consciously paralyzed between two equally valid, critically analyzed perspectives. On the one hand, immediate action may be needed to prevent injustice or inhumane movements, and yet, on the other hand, intervention may mean more harm than good. Without the clear target of a non-ambiguous “villain”, the hero has no clear sight as to what to aim for. They are paralyzed because they are aware - they’re no longer beholden to atavistic epics or wartime propaganda. They know that on either side of the battlelines, there are real humans, fighting on behalf of conniving entities, and in combat, there are only losers. There are horrible people and antagonistic forces, to be sure, but in the tangled mess of geopolitics, it becomes difficult to determine who is on what side - or if there are sides to be had at all. But Inaction is not where we end. As such, we have a proposal for you, reader. Our current Hero stands at a crossroads, between remaining paralyzed, and finding some course for action. We can, and will, be the GPS that guides him towards a new form of action, if we do not allow ourselves to get stuck in the mire. Think of all the political arguments you’ve had, where both sides feel “right”. Where, even in the face of dehumanization or lack of empathy, there is someone to defend or spin such seemingly clear-cut wrongdoing. This is why the Hero is Inactive - because there seems to be no

”Our current Hero stands at a crossroads, between remaining paralyzed, and finding some course for action. We can, and will, be the GPS that guides him towards a new form of action, if we do not allow ourselves to get stuck in the mire.” budging. We can change that, though. It may sound a bit like that old adage about closing barn doors after the cattle got out - but we can turn this Hero of Inaction into a Hero of Proaction. The Hero of Inaction is not something to frown upon, or to deride as fruitless - there is much to be said about waiting. After all, the wife of Odysseus - our classic action hero - has often been noted by critics as perhaps the “true” hero of the Odyssey; the Hero That Waits. She fends off suitors and would-be captors of her estate for years, without any real certainty that her husband will return. Given the time and her position, there is little else she can do, except wait - and prepare. That is where we stand. We are the new heroes. Some tyrannical forces have climbed the ladder and conquered our castles, to be sure. We waited, and perhaps too long. But now, we have to use a bit of heroic alchemy to turn that most sublime of heroism - patience - into Proaction. We can prepare our Hero, stock him with the weaponry of conscious, empower him with the armies of grass-roots organizing, and embolden him with tact, with strategy, with knowledge of history and hope for future. He is Inactive only in a sense of a gathering of force - but like Penelope, when our rallying point becomes apparent, and our captors cozied in their victories, our Proaction will leave the wind in our sails, and their shores in our sights. We cannot put the spears in your hands, but we can whisper, with the boldness of a storm, “The New Hero is Coming” Austere DAWN // 48

G E N E R AT I O N

PHOTOGRAPHER LIZ GOODWIN

BY LIZ GOODWIN, AUSTERE

This is Caroline. She loves animals, sunflowers, exploring the urban and natural wilderness, and cares deeply for her family and friends. She is living as teenagers live, soaking up the sunshine and drinking in the final moments of childhood that she has left. Yet, she is growing up in one of the most unique political time periods our country has ever seen. While she is reveling in the shrinking naivety of youth, she is also gearing up to brave the world as a newly independent individual. Her and her fellow high school graduates are being thrust from what they have been used to into the unknown, and this member of the class of 2017 has several things she would like to address when it comes to the state of our union. When it comes to the people of the United States of America, it appears as though we are at war with ourselves. Democrat against Republican, brother against sister, gay against straight or black against white; we digest stories of conflict and inflammatory accusations with our coffee in the morning and read them as lullabies before we go to sleep at night. Bottom line, we’ve got issues. As a young person growing up in the age of these issues - with overwhelming access to unprecedented amounts of information, technology and instantaneous news - Caroline believes that our most pertinent problem is “equality across the board,” with both “different races” and “men and women”. We live in a nation where the few dictate the many, and equal representation has miles to go. She wants the world to know that they adhere to the notion that “just because you were born a white male, and in a really good socioeconomic position, that doesn’t mean you are more entitled to something than anyone else is”. She “feels like these issues come from a lack of understanding or empathy,” which this generation would like to see more of. In a time of such anger and hate, the youth are calling for peace and love.

Both her and her counterparts hope to see a country that can adjust their frame of reference in order to try and understand those that are different from them, a sentiment that is a cool drink of water in our current desert of political hostility. That being said however, there are good things that this generation is witnessing and implementing into their daily lives. In a time where freedom of expression is so prominent, Caroline is proud to see “people stand up and fight for what they believe in”. She attended the women’s march in Dallas, Texas, and hailed that it was a wonderful experience where she felt an immense sense of pride in being a kick-ass girl boss. “This is America. It was founded on the belief that we can stand up and fight”, she says - and she is ready to fight for the equality of her fellow ladies and for every other group that is being treated as less than. She notes that “people are really coming out of the framework”, and it is very inspiring for her age group to be entering the political sphere in a time where they are so free to express their ideas. So, what exactly is this generation going to bring to the table? “I have spent a lot of time trying to educate myself on the topics that I talk about and fight for”, says Caroline. She and her fellow college aged students are reading up on what all the conflict in our country is about, and she is excited to continue her education beyond her current phase of life. She is loud and proud and isn’t just fighting for issues “because she thinks it’s the cool thing to do. It would be easier for me to sit around and not,” but rather, she is determined to speak out for those who feel they don’t have a voice, and she hopes to see the dawn of a new day where those in power will respect their constituents. There is a crossroads stretched out before us. We are either going to go down a dark path, feeding the fire of hate and misunderstanding on both the right and left ends of the political spectrum, or we will take the not-yet utilized path, and try to empathize with one another. This generation is a generation of bridge builders. And Caroline believes they will do their job and fix “the divisiveness of our country”, shedding the “large group stereotyping” we have been so prone to in the last few months. Instead of “dehumanizing people on the other side” of the political spectrum, we must try and see them as they are: a brother, a sister, and a person just like ourselves. So onward, youth. Never give up.

”Both her and her counterparts hope to see a country that can adjust their frame of reference in order to try and understand those that are different from them, a sentiment that is a cool drink of water in our current desert of political hostility.”

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T H E H U S T L E W I T H

PHOTOGRAPHER ADI PUTRA

S A N D R A S A E N Z

”It’s not mainly about the religion it’s about people fearing what they don’t know.” Austere DAWN // 52

TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND. Sandra: I was born and raised in Mexico… I was not raised Muslim. Everyone born in Mexico is born Catholic - there’s no option, really. I came to the US when I was 14… My dad passed when I was 5, so growing up with no dad, you know, you can kind of get some self esteem issues. I wanted to be a plastic surgeon because I always wanted to make people feel pretty… because I never felt pretty myself. I told my mom I wanted to be a plastic surgeon when I grew up, and she looked at me and said, “No, I don’t think so”. So then I started painting. It was something that relaxed me, it took my mind off of a bunch of things… So I was kind of stuck in between wanting to be a painter because it relaxed me, and wanting to make people beautiful. Maybe not as rich as a doctor, but not as poor and famous as a painter - a make-up artist. I wanted to be able to transform a person’s face and make them whoever I wanted to make them. HOW DID YOU FIRST LEARN ABOUT MAKE-UP AND HOW TO DO IT? S: I remember the Wet ‘n’ Wild dollar markdowns at every Walgreen and CVS. I would buy some and practice on myself, I would look at magazines… make-up was that something that made me feel very powerful. I started on myself, and then on friends, but nothing professional. I used to do it during class, and I remember my math teacher was so mad he called my dad about it. Who knew I would become a make-up artist. WHEN DID YOUR PROFESSIONAL JOURNEY START? S: I was in Arizona at the time, and I went to Mexico and remembered that I wanted to be a hair stylist. But I never cared for hair. I went to cosmetology school in Mexico… and they had one class of make-up and that’s when the love came back, right after taking classes - around 21 [years old] - is when I professionally started, and I realized in Mexico there weren’t a lot of resources to study like in the US, so I moved back with my parents. They had just moved to Chicago, so I went to school in Rosemont, Illinois. That is where I pursued professional classes, and from there is where it started taking off. WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR HUSBAND? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? S: I met my husband about 7 or 8 years ago - I’ve been in Dallas for around 10 or so? My Dad traveled for work so that is how we came to Dallas. I was Muslim before I met my husband. I had just converted [because I] had a dream - it was really awkward. I ignored it for about a year, and then stuff started to get real. I

wanted to become Muslim so that was that. SO WAS IT LIKE ONE DREAM TO CONVERT OVER? S: It was more of a series of events that started happening. I was dreaming of stuff I didn’t know existed until I read the Quran. Whatever I was dreaming it was really there and I couldn’t ignore it, so after studying I converted. WHAT DO YOU FEEL YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGES ARE BY BEING A MUSLIM MAKE-UP ARTIST? S: There are not challenges because I’m a Muslim make-up artist. There’s challenges because I am covered (hijab). It’s not much challenge being a Mexican Muslim but more about being a Mexican Hijab Muslim. It is very very hard because to the perception of many I can be a threat or oppressed or I’m not showing my full beauty. So I think its mainly misconceptions and media that make it a challenge. So it’s not mainly about the religion it’s about people fearing what they don’t know. I used to be a regional with Chanel, and I started covering 2 or 3 years after I became a Muslim. So I told my manager at Chanel I wanted to cover and she said I couldn’t… it was one of those things where if I took legal action I would win but do I want to be known as Sandra the make-up artist that sued Chanel or Sandra the make-up artist that does great make-up. SO WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR ASPIRING MAKE-UP ARTIST OF DIFFERENT CULTURES WHO ARE BREAKING INTO THIS INDUSTRY DURING THIS ERA? S: My advice is to take advantage of this time. Just use your platform and story to speak about it, be active don’t let the media influence how you feel. And get an education. But if people are closing doors because of who you are or what you look like that’s not right but as long as you remember why you love what you’re doing people are going to see that spark in you and it only takes one chance. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT RAISING A CHILD IN THIS ERA AND BEING A MIXED IMMIGRANT? S: I can only imagine what my kids are going to see, so it’s very hard because it’s scary. My husband is Arab and I’m Mexican; I will deliver in 3 months or so, but I don’t even know if my husband’s family will be able to make it because of the ban. Is my kid going to be able to see transgender kids in the bathroom? Or are we going to segregate people again into drinking from different fountains? I do feel like there’s a silver lining just because I feel that a lot of people are standing up

and saying something versus before where people wouldn’t stand up. But it’s my first kid, so, I don’t even know. The only thing I’m really thinking is how I’m going to keep my kid from speaking negatively of someone when that is how our president speaks. AS LONG AS YOU’VE BEEN IN DALLAS, WHO HAVE BEEN THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL YOU CAN LEAN ON, AS FAR AS PROFESSIONAL WORK AND HELPING TO GET YOUR ART OUT THERE? S: The people who have been there for me have mostly been new and raw talent. KJ is one of those people - if I could think of one person I’m truly thankful for, it’s KJ. He’s been a huge rock. We met at one of his first shoots - it was so well organized and he pulled it together, and him pulling it together made me pull it together. Seeing someone believing in you makes you believe in yourself more. It’s kind of like a reciprocal thing. It’s just people that take the time to believe in you and take the time to learn with you. Everyone evolves… the fact that all these people have been evolving with me and I with them is what I personally feel has helped me. WHAT MOTIVATES YOU EVERY MORNING TO GET UP AND DO WHAT YOU DO BEST? S: Before being pregnant, I wanted to inspire Muslim girls. It was always inspiring for me to be the first Mexican Covered Muslim Woman to be signed with an Agency, but now that I’m pregnant it’s probably my kid now. I really feel like my kid is my motivation, like, I want my kid to look at pictures of me working until my water breaks, and I want my kid to see it’s not all about oppression, being Muslim and covered. I was able to do this and I’m probably one of the pioneers, one of the first covered Muslims in Dallas to do so. ARE YOU CURRENTLY SIGNED TO AN AGENCY? S: I am freelance, It has been hard to get something concrete looking like this [ pointing at hijab]. I guess people are scared of what they don’t know. And sadly, thinking as a business, its more than just people at an agency representing you, a lot of these people work with people who have businesses and are concerned that I could be some sort of liability to the business. Have I been straight up told it was because I am Muslim? No, but have they hinted? Absolutely yes. If they don’t want to represent me

because of that then I don’t want them to represent me. DO YOU HAVE RECOMMENDED LOCAL GROUPS TO JOIN? ANY MENTORS THAT HAVE HELPED? S: If you are doing events or parties, there is something called DFW Make-up Pros I believe, that would be a good group - several schools can teach you how to do the financing. If I could name one person who has been a mentor for me, her name is Donna MEE - all of my business knowledge I learned from her. She gives classes online and boot camps; she will break you to make you. She’s my Make-up Mom, she taught me how to do business in make-up. ARE YOU LOOKING TO BECOME SOMEONE’S MAKE-UP MOM? S: Absolutely. I have had assistants before. People think being an assistant is just about sitting and watching and observing, but you have to almost think for your mentor, because that’s what really makes an assistant or intern valuable. Everyone is replaceable, so it’s one of those things that when you have somebody that you see 100% wants it and loves it, they eat and breathe it. You help them because they are willing to help themselves by doing absolutely everything they can. I am taking interns and I have a bridal team so if anyone really wants to get there feet wet in the bridal industry, I am training 2-3 people. Sandra is planning to seek representation in LA - she believes there is a more diverse market there that she can cater to. It’s interesting to see people from different cultures and backgrounds. It really is baffling that there is not one African American make-up artist represented in the Dallas region in any of the main agencies. When that happens, it may be easier for Sandra to be represented as well but for now we will have to find our market somewhere else. Austere DAWN // 54

IMAGES PROVIDED BY MARIA AND SUSANA OF ART Y PAN DULCE

ART Y PAN DULCE ART Y PAN DULCE

BY KRISTINA PRATER, AUSTERE

WHEN DID THE IDEA FOR ART Y PAN DULCE ARISE? Maria: “Well, I had another art show and then me and my friend Susana, we were talking about having another art show because she was at the first one I had. We were like ‘oh we should have conchas or something there.’ Susana came up with the name. We mostly thought that it was really dumb that there were never really people of color in art spaces when most of Dallas is like Hispanics or people of color in general.” Susana: “Mariah had hosted a show probably a few months before I came up with the idea for Art Y Pan Dulce. It was a QWOC show, so it was just for women and the queer community to actually be involved in something like that. She was more involved in the art show community before I was and invited me to the show to spit some poetry. I liked the idea and I liked what she did. We had a conversation about how there was a lack of platforms for women of color, for queer people of color, for the POC community in general. I had this zine, Lucha Dallas, and I presented the idea to her earlier about having art shows where I can also help promote it. She was on board with helping me since it was my first show. I thought, if I put on these art shows and provide a space for communities to come together to showcase their work, I think everyone would get behind it. I talked to Mariah since I was in New York; she helped me do the legwork, like go look at the space since I couldn’t be there. As far as the name goes, I remember I told my mom ‘I really wish I had some pan dulce right now’ because it’s not the same in

the New York. You don’t get it fresh like you would in Texas. I started thinking ‘you know what I’ve been seeing a lot of lately? These conchas, like that image has been extremely prominent now, especially in the feminist movement amongst Latinas. It’s like the whole idea of the concha and being a chingona. So I was like why don’t we make it Art Y Pan Dulce, like we can give away conchas for free. Everybody loves conchas and everybody likes art! So that’s basically how the name came to be and how the whole show came to be.” HOW DID YOU GUYS GO ABOUT SECURING THE BEST SPACE? M: “Susana knows someone who has a bakery and we were gonna do it at his bakery, but it was pretty small. She was living up in New York at the time, she moved back and forth a lot and she told me ‘oh there’s this place called the Meet Shop you should check it out. It’s this new place that just opened you should see if it’s a good size and everything.’ I went and it was really cool. They had a library full of Chicanx literature and they had a bunch of Chicanx decorations everywhere and Ofelia, the lady that owns it, was super nice. There was a really big backyard and we just looked at it and thought it would be a good place because she’s all about safe spaces.” S: “An elder of mine who worked with mecha, a student run organization when she was younger, told me about Ofelia and what she was trying to do with the space. She introduced me to her and Mariah checked the location out, since I was in New York. We chose

this over other locations because it was run by a mujer and the energy of the venue was good. We wanted to be able to help a DIY space as much as they helped us by providing the space. I think Ofelia has seen a lot of traffic since then.” The significance of this art show is to give these communities recognition they aren’t usually granted. We’ve seen this often and perhaps even more within the current administration; the POC, trans, and queer communities are usually portrayed in a negatively skewed way. SO, HOW HAS THE ADMINISTRATION MADE YOU FEEL OVERALL? M: “Really tired. I’m just tired of hearing about all of it, like I know that’s bad but I’m just sick of it. Every time I hear Trump’s voice I turn it off, like I don’t need any of this right now. It’s just really exhausting. For a while I kind of felt like a sense of giving up, kind of…. like we did all this stuff and it didn’t do anything, but I don’t know, I guess now it just means we have to keep trying harder.” S: “As far as this administration I don’t think it’s anything new, I think it’s just more ‘in your face.’ Government wise and administration wise I think everything is pretty much the same. It’s not like I’m excited for the administration and the stuff Trump is trying pass, but I am excited at the potential the community has, due to this administration. I think being an activist and being part of a grassroots organization, we’ve seen more people

expressing genuine concern and wanting to sign up and be involved in things. So I think ,in that aspect, it’s pretty good because we have more people actually waking themselves up and wanting to know what’s happening and wanting to do something about it. “

what I keep in mind all the time. If it’s not affecting me it’s going to affect someone I know. If they don’t have access to fight against it and I do, I feel like it’s my responsibility, as a decent human, to fight and use my privilege to be able to better their situation.”

WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR? M: “Mostly racial and gender equality.... For a really long time I considered myself a “woman”, I think, then when I started exploring my gender more I realized I was queer. That made it even worse, and harder; to have all these people talk down on you all the time. And I don’t know, especially back when gay marriage wasn’t a thing; it’s just weird to see something that was ‘you’ and other people weren’t being accepting. You know it’s something you can’t change, same thing with people of color, like you didn’t do anything so I don’t know why people are so angry that you’re ‘something’ they’re not.”

CAN YOU SHARE WHY YOU THINK IT’S IMPORTANT FOR MARGINALIZED AND OPPRESSED GROUPS TO HAVE THIS ART SHOW WHERE THEY CAN FREELY EXPRESS THEMSELVES? M: “It’s just like white bodies and white art is filling all the available art spaces. I feel like a lot of art for people of color is based on what they go through and has a lot of their culture mixed into it. Like a lot of people there [Art Y Pan Dulce] have a lot of Latinx based art that they make and it’s really nice. I feel like they should have a platform, so I give them that.”

S: “ Labor rights is one big thing, and not just that, but immigration issues. My family and myself have been through various immigration issues so it’s been a big aspect of my life since moving here. Also women’s rights. I’m not just talking women’s rights like how women are viewed in society but also how we are viewed within our own culture; like the Latino culture and dealing with machismo. Mostly I want to fight against injustices because even if it’s not directly affecting me, it’s going to affect someone I know. The quote by Martin Luther King Jr ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere’ is basically

S: “People want to use a culture and wear it and consume it, but they don’t

”People either reiki themselves or share the experience and people are like, Oh maybe there is more to life than just what we see in the material world or physical world in front of us.’ It’s my hope that that’s what happens, that people begin to see life in more of a magical way.” Austere DAWN // 56

actually want the cost of having to recognize the work it takes to be able to put it on. I think this show definitely brings something to the community. It allows you to be in contact with the artists, talk to them, and be like ‘hey why did you paint this? What in your world is causing you to reflect this in your artwork?’ It’s opening a conversation for the community that needs to happen. That’s why it’s important to have this show; to open up that discussion and also let these artists know ‘you’re important too! You’re just as important as any other artist and you need a space to feel comfortable enough to be able to show that.’ ” Even as event coordinators, the two still find the time to incorporate their own creative works into the show. Susana is in charge of curating the zine, Lucha Dallas, which connects a spectrum of different activist communities and puts them altogether in one publication. The zine is intended as a platform for these groups to share their ideas and experiences amongst other groups, hoping to bring awareness of issues going on within each community. Mariah takes photos of her friends, which usually include people of the POC and queer communities, as well as events going on around the area. Her inspiration is sparked by capturing her friends in their element, totally free and enjoying themselves.

WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO? M: “Mostly just to make people who feel like they’re not welcome in art spaces have a place for them to show off their art with people who are like them. There isn’t really a place for them to get together and that’s how I felt. When I asked people to be in the show and they were agreeing, it was really cool. Whenever we got there it was insane, there was like so many brown people there and it was really crazy cause we all had really similar art and everyone was enjoying all of it. I’m really white passing so I feel like I have to use my privilege somehow and I can use it by building this platform for everyone to get together.” S: “I have a privilege and I have a voice, so I should do something. I don’t have a privilege in every aspect, like the immigration issue for example, me being documented, that’s me having a privilege. I have a lot of friends and family that are affected by the policies Trump is trying to pass. They would be out there fighting, but some of them are too scared you know? For those people that can’t, I feel like it’s my duty to do it for them. It might be a cultural thing, I know growing up community was really big for me so I just feel like if my community helped raise me and make me this person I am, I have a duty to fight back for them.” Art Y Pan Dulce is only in its second year running as a show, and it’s already proved to be nothing but a huge success for individuals within these communities.

”I have a privilege and I have a voice, so I should do something.”

HOW DO YOU THINK MILLENNIALS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE? M: “I think a lot of people, like millennials, are really into making change. If you saw the Bernie rallies, it was a bunch of really young people. And I feel like the women’s march, there was a lot of millennials there. If only they put that effort of going to that one march into going to not only other marches for other causes, but just getting together, cause there’s a lot of us. A lot of people label us as really lazy, but I feel like if we just get together and try, we can make a change. I guess it’s kind of hard to talk to older people about what they believe in, cause they’re kind of set in their mind, not that they can’t change but it’s harder. So I feel like talking to people our age is easier. Since we can relate to each other easier, maybe we can

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help change each other’s minds and work together better? I mean, we’re gonna be the people that are in all the offices soon, so I guess just paying attention to what’s happening, because a lot of people my age don’t.” S: “I definitely think, we as millennials in the United States are the least involved in politics. Like if we compare each other with people from different countries, everyone is pretty well informed and everyone knows what’s going on and wants to fight. I don’t know if it’s because we have so much media and distractions from what’s going on; to keep us from being like ‘hey this genuinely matters and I should do something.’ If you’re not a marginalized person maybe recognize ‘hey I have these privileges, what can I do to help my friends or family members.’ Know what you’re skills are because there’s definitely a spot for you somewhere. If you can’t find it, you should hit me up because I will help you find it. I will give you a job and I will give you a role. Everybody has a role, they just have to figure it out.” As the days pass, new policies continue to be introduced; and it’s pretty certain each one of those policies makes at least one person want to slam their head against a wall. WHAT KIND OF AMERICA WILL MAKE YOU FEEL PATRIOTIC AGAIN? M: “One that isn’t racist, homophobic, anti-immigration or anti-refugee. I mean, I think it’s really fucked up people are being oppressed and violently attacked and killed for being who they are. Like, a few days ago in my neighborhood a gay couple got their rainbow flag outside their house torn down and set on fire. They were really minding their own business like everyone else, but they were targeted for no reason. The same things with racist attacks. People are literally being killed for not being straight white Christians. Which makes no sense, because apparently we’re supposed to be the country with most freedom, including religious freedom and freedom to marry whoever you’d like.” S: “If we could get rid of the immigration issue, not only for Latinos, but also for the black community, the Muslim community, any immigrant in general. Class system is another thing, if we didn’t live in such a class-based society. Women’s reproductive rights is another, like if the government could just leave me the f**k alone and let me do what I want to do with my body, that would be awesome as well. Those are the most important things to me right now.”

ANY ADVICE TO GIVE FOR THOSE THAT MAY FEEL TIMID OR WEARY IF THEY WANNA MAKE A CHANGE BUT DON’T KNOW HOW? M: “The only way is to start by educating yourself! If there aren’t any organizations in your area, you can’t take it to the streets for whatever reason (whether it be work, physical or mental disability, etc.) reading and feeding your mind is always a good idea. Start by changing yourself and the ways you think, then you can work on changing the people around you and your communities. You can also watch movies or a documentary, like 13th is really big and recent. Reading Marx and Angela Davis are my suggestions, to be honest. There’s a lot of places that need volunteering and if you can’t do that then there’s always calling representatives and telling them stop being shitty! You just have to find something you’re really passionate about.” S: “Start with yourself. Figure out what it is you’re good at, what things you can change within yourself. You can’t ask the world to change if you can’t look at what problematic behaviors you have. That’s where it starts. If you need advice, maybe surround yourself with people that are more involved? So they can kind of show you the way. I know there are a lot of events. You can look online, I know there’s a lot of community forums going on and training to help you become an activist.”

There’s a fight to be fought, and if we’ve learned anything, it’s that we can make change. We’ve done it before and we can damn sure do it again. I know at times it’s easier to give up, but that’s what makes all of this so worth it. You wanna change something? DO IT. You have the power and fight within you to do something great. If you don’t like the way something is happening, it just takes a small amount of effort to start moving in the right direction. This isn’t going to happen overnight, but there’s no better feeling than knowing you are not alone in this fight. An individual should not be shamed or judged based on their sexuality, skin color, or gender affiliation. These things are merely extended ornaments of our own personalities; in NO way are they in correlation with the capacity of decency we hold.

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PHOTOGRAPHER ADI PUTRA

DAWN AFTER DARK [INTO THE NIGHT] SECTION IV _ Now more than ever people need to understand that equality goes beyond gender and beyond titles.

W H A T ‘ S S

I N

P U N C H I N G

T A K I N G

S T O R E H

N A Z I S

R E F U G E

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69 PHOTOGRAPHER LOUIS DAZY

SAINT HOAX WHY DID YOU START CREATING THESE PIECES OF WORK? I came across these advertisements online. As I was going through them, I kept thinking that I’m so glad I wasn’t living at that age where sexism was tolerated. But the more I read through these ads, the more I realized that a lot of these headlines could easily be Donald Trump quotes. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE DAMAGE THAT IS BEING DONE BY OUR PRESIDENT? Trump’s “locker room talk” is extremely dangerous especially now since he is the president of the United States. The way women are represented in the media has changed drastically since these advertisements were initially published. But Trump’s degrading language is taking women back to the “mad men” era. HOW DO YOU THINK THE ART YOU CREATE HELPS THE CONVERSATION? It gets people to stop for a minute and question a certain reality that they might have overlooked. WHAT VERSION OF AMERICAN WOULD YOU LOVE TO BE A PART OF? Any version but the current one. WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE TO MILLENNIALS OUT THERE FEELING THIS WRATH OF HELPLESSNESS? I will tell them that they have the chance to learn from this and make it right in 4 years.

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PUNCHING NAZIS PHOTOGRAPHER EDIE SUNDAY

A meditation on violent resistance by Garrett Smith EDITOR-AT-LARGE AUSTERE

We’ve all seen the clips, felt the anger, and scrambled for an outlet. Whether you turn to angry keystrokes or vocal in-the-streets protests, there’s one thing looming in the back of your mind: “I really, really want to punch one of these people. And by people, you know we mean the “alt-right”, the edgelords, the hatespewing, liberal-decrying, false-news beholden neo-Nazis that we’ve all been beaten over the head by. And we wish we could beat them over the head - maybe, we think, that would either return their sense of rationality and human decency… or would knock them out and silence them. The question arises, though - is this morally acceptable? Of course, the conventional resistance-wisdom handed down to us from the originals themselves - Gandhi, MLK Jr., and so on - would say no, violence is stooping to their level, violence gives them cause for opposition, violence begets violence. And yet, we find ourselves wondering - where’s the line in the sand? In these times, certain powers-that-be across the globe have emboldened a highly vocal, highly prejudiced group to espouse their worldview ad nauseum. Within that view is the perfectly obstinate, self-justifying clause of “the media has eschewed truth, liberals have taken over, and everyone is trying to keep us from free speech or from success” As such, it seems, at first glance, nigh-impossible to

breach their defenses with peaceful means. They are resolute, and any argument against their beliefs is filtered through a logic causeway that falls into categories like the above: either it’s fake news, liberal exaggeration, or anti-white conspiracy. Anything and everything will drop through into one of these categories, no matter the stretch of imagination or the cognitive dissonance required. Yet, the doctrine is still dangerous. It has implications that put many lives in jeopardy of abject poverty, loss of freedom, or even loss of life. No matter how bull-headed such people are, this is a reality which the reasoned and empathic among us find ourselves desperate to drown before its flames can conflagrate the nation and beyond. This leaves us in a sort of moral stasis: do we drudge on with peace and reason, hoping against hope that we will win the day as our forebears have, taking blow for blow without throwing any ourselves, hoping that non-violence will prove us “right”? Or, in the name of preventative measure, do we fight back with any means necessary to quell an uprising of what may very well be the American Reich? In other words - will peaceful waiting be our damnation? After all, silence and passivity were the downfall of many nations who were swept by tides of fascism and tyranny. Innumerable lives have been lost because people failed to see the imperative of halting a dangerous movement before it grew too strong to combat with words and sanctions. The plotting is going on as we speak, and so far, nothing has seemed to stem the tide of hate, save gracious moments of

“I had to be left in order to be broken enough to rebuild-”

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ARTIST TATYANA FAZLALIZADEH

ineptitude - which, unfortunately, are swept under the rug by a cultishly beholden following. On the other hand - do we lose clout to our arguments if we fight on the same battlegrounds as our enemy? It seems the minute we fight back, cast stones, put up walls, we will be met with a “told you so” moment from our enemy - a nail in the coffin that they hope to build for us via ambiguity. They seem to beg for us to respond in kind, because that bolsters their negative-argument - that our side is no more right than theirs, because we “oppress”, berate, and belittle them as much as we claim they do minorities and marginalized communities. They’re waiting for the moment to hold up a mirror and say “we’re not so different, you and I - so why does your side hold any more reason than ours?” And that would be, it seems, the end to our fight. It would be the final brick in the wall between two sides. Dialogue seems impossible; violence seems impractical. Where do we go? Unlike our opposition, we have one cognitive weapon which we can and should use to our advantage - nondichotomous thinking. In other words, we are not beholden to the “splitting” phenomena that dictates their black-andwhite worldview. We can be both “violent” and “peaceful” in our resistance. We can be creative, conniving, and complex. Like any good battle strategy, first we must utilize reconnaisance and subterfuge. Relate to them even when we cannot find any visible route to connection. Build trenches of empathy even as they blitz us with apathy. Force them to humanize the very people they would rob of dignity and freedom - we’ve seen, in guerilla-like fashion, many turncoats born of someone who had simply never met a Muslim; someone who had never know the hardship of their immigrant neighbor; someone who had never known what it is to suffer the abuse a woman does. Like double-agents, we must “send in” those marginalized groups, and we already are: Meet a Muslim is already an ongoing program that allows for people - especially in small, rural, largely homogenously white Christian towns to actually get to know some of the followers of Islam.

We’ve got to use diplomacy, too. Once you’ve learned the oppositions’ ways, their feelings, their desires, you must parlay with them. Compromise is the name of the game. Not a compromise of values, per se, but a compromise in implementation. A dialogue, if you will. But here’s where we might win some back, or lose some - like any conflict, there comes a point when diplomacy and reconnaisance have done all they can, and when the opposition threatens real, human lives - we cannot stand idly by. We cannot home for decency to win out when we have exhausted all humanitarian efforts. Yes, we must continue to focus inwards, to protect our communities, to support the suffering, to doctor those among us. But if our means of protest our rendered moot - our government taken over, democracy vanquished in all but name, our rights and freedoms mere pacifying illusions handed down by a ruling regime - what option have we left? Will you continue to practice peace, even when people are dying at the hands of violence all around you? We are no authority by any means, but in this meditation, we have to propose: if our preemptive efforts fail, we cannot let abstract moral quandaries guide our decisions. We will have to face reality, and decide that, as many have had to before us, that violent resistance, that forceful reclamation of our governing bodies, that armed suppression of tyranny, are the only answers left. It’s rocky territory, to be sure, and it will take great minds and leaders to be sure to steer us away from dehumanizing in turn. It will be touch-and-go, and many will be demoralized via the opposition making claims of hypocrisy - but if we fight for each other, if we use violence to prevent irreparable damage to humanity, then we will have no reason to lose resolve. When they come knocking on our doors, demanding stars and barcodes, demanding deportation and subjugation will we find ourselves pushing daisies, or punching Nazis?

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TAKING REFUGE

PHOTOGRAPHER MAYA BEANO

WRITER ALCYNNA LLOYD, AUSTERE

They are the many crossing oceans, mountains, and deserts in search for sanctuary. Those who run with bullets aimed at their backs, and tribulation weighing their feet. There is no time for fear or hesitation, only the fight for survival in a world that has left their countries stained with blood. They are the people we see on the news, and read about in our magazines. The families destroyed in the name of capital and war. We hear about their hunger, and we are thankful we were born into a life void of so much misfortune. These people that we see as “other” are only an extension of ourselves. They are mothers, fathers, and children, and when we look into their eyes we see our own reflection. Each year millions of refugees seek asylum all around the world. They have made the gut-wrenching decision to leave behind the only life they knew, to find homes in foreign countries. For many of them, immigrating is not a want, but of the utmost necessity. It is the true difference between watching their wives being raped, or their children being murdered. Refugees often face extreme hardships while immigrating. Those who apply for green cards are often met with difficulty. There is a common misconception that obtaining legal papers is a fast progress. That however is the furthest from the truth. People often spend years on waiting lists. Legal immigration is not ideal for people seeking to escape persecution, famine, and disease.

Those who make the brave choice to immigrate illegally face a number of adversities along the way. Stories of refugees being stranded in boats off the ocean, locked in shipping containments, or forgotten in loading trucks are told too often. Their horrors on the road to freedom, are just as disturbing as the lives the left behind. Refugees, who are lucky to make it to their new home, also run the risk of being treated poorly because of their nationalities. Anti-immigrant sentiment gives rise to hate crimes, and inherently once again places these people in danger. Fear is the driving force for intolerance, and in order to reduce hatred we must understand where that fear derives. Perhaps a lack of familiarity is what produces hatred for the unfamiliar. The best way to introduce sympathy is to learn. It is important immigrants and refugees are able to tell their stories. Maybe their voices will silence the sounds of bigotry. Ahmyl: September 1999 is when I immigrated to America. I moved for security, education, and safety. Everything was hard getting to America. We were refugees in another country, so it was hard to go there and say “hey, I am from this other country so I have to come here now, and get a visa. So I had to get a passport from the country I was in, and get a visa by that one and come here [America], and say I wasn’t from that other country. Basically I committed perjury to come to America. So, true story but funny. First semesters at TCC, someone approached me. “I heard you were from Africa, how did you get here?” I told them I had to get a visa card. “They said, oh you got a visa card, that you could just swipe?” I was blessed because we had family friends who were frequent flyers and came to the US, and my [my]grandma came to visit a couple of times, and made the decision to have me come live with her because it was just better. [There were]Better opportunities, less opportunity for me to be sexually assaulted or exploited in different ways you can’t imagine. My biggest struggle was culture shock. Imagine you just got abducted and they put a bag over your head, and you are smelling the bag because that bag is from wherever you are from, and they just drop you somewhere and take that bag off and that smell is gone, and you’re just like where am I? What’s going on? The first thing that hit me was when I went to school. My first day here, they had a projection screen up and the teacher used a clear

projector with the screen over it, she was doing a math problem, and I was like “what is that?” But beyond that it was how the students were talking to her. They were berating her, and I am thinking where I come from you wrote on the board till your fingernails bled. You didn’t get handouts, you didn’t get calculators, you had to do mental math. So all of that was really shocking. And when I didn’t cow what a pep rally meant, after a two weeks in school, there was a pep rally. I could do English, I knew how to write but I don’t know what pep rally means. Things like that. A refuge is exactly what that word means. It is a French word which means, seeking safety. You could be seeking safety from a domestic violence situation, or famine from a drought in Darfur, you can be seeking safety from political persecution. You could be seeking safety from your child assaulting you. A refugee is just that, a person seeking refuge. Immigration allows for education. I heard something on NPR today, by just immigrating, even just watching a movie from another country you’re learning. SO immigration is more than a physical move, it is mental, a process. It’s almost like a spiritual journey because coming from an improvised part of the world we are not coming and taking assets, but I feel like we are enriching that American stew. There are different seasonings that I bring along , and that I can bring to that flavor or perspective in life that can help shape your view. In a way that you may have never otherwise been able to see. You may be born with a silver spoon or everything in your life, but you don’t know what it’s like to have empathy for someone who doesn’t have it. A lot of what we are seeing with the immigration band is not new, this has happened all throughout history. The whole reason people try to stand by race or gender or class or social status is because they stand by this impending

idea that we need to stand by our own. We need to protect our own. Maryiata: I came here when I was four years old with my mom and my brother, my sister was later born in America. My dad was already in Texas, waiting on us and saving up to rent a house from his sister in Oak Cliff. We moved from Quebec, Canada. However, my mom is originally from Mexico. And my dad is Guatemalan. We left Canada because it was becoming increasingly difficult to find steady work at the time. Texas offered relatives and of course, a shot at the American dream. I never knew growing up that society would have considered me poor, because I didn’t feel poor. Despite English being my parents’ third language and not having completed their degrees yet, they always worked and found a way to give us everything. We had a house, and two cars, and a big yard. I had toys and great friends and loved school. I never felt like life was a struggle growing up and that’s because I had two incredibly determined and hard working parents. They worked, went to school, and were somehow still always there for my brother and I. Trying to do a similar job in life myself now, I can only look up to them and motivate myself to fight as endlessly as they did to reach their goals. In my opinion, my parents are living the American Dream today. My mother is a teacher for DISD and my father is a retired engineer, turned Karate Sensei. To me being American means hard work and hustle is part of your ethic. It means seizing each opportunity that moves you a step closer toward your goal and you dreams. I think a lot of people associate the American dream with money and status, but I think it’s bigger than those simple desires. My parents were able to make their dreams comes true when they finally found a safe place to nest in where their children would be able to do all the things

in life they didn’t have the chance to do. My sibling and I live such a privileged life because they fought so hard to get us here. Throughout American history, This country developed into a pot of the entire worlds’ races and cultures and ideas. We are unique and innovative because we bring together the best of the world. America has always attracted people seeking refuge and opportunity. To ignore those values and points in history would be erasing our truth. America thrives on the backs and knees and brains of immigrants- no matter how or why they came here. To put any type of total immigration ban, to me, is extremely unAmerican. Even worse and less American, is to turn our backs on those seeking refuge here.

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PHOTOGRAPHER ADI PUTRA

HAS THE SUN SET? [WE’RE ALL WONDERING] SECTION V _ Now more than ever people need to understand that equality goes beyond gender and beyond titles.

W H A T ‘ S T H E

T H E

N E W

FAC E S

A U D R E Y

THE

I N

SEX

H E R O

O F

T H E

S T O R E

A B O RT I O N

A R T I S T

REVOLUTION Austere DAWN // 78

1973 Landmark Case: Roe v. Wade (WIN!) Legalized abortion on a federal level Texas -- July 2013: House Bill 2 Passes (LOSS!) Restricts access to abortion through the passing laws that made it difficult for clinics to function, including that abortion doctors were required to have admitting privileges to a hospital within 30 miles of their clinic and clinics were required to upgrade to become ambulatory surgical centers What it was sold as: Protecting women’s health What it actually did: Shut down over half of operating abortion clinics in the state Texas --- June 2016: Whole Woman’s Health vs. Hellerstedt (WIN!) Supreme Court overturns Texas’ H2, calling it unconstitutional because it was an “undue burden” on women Acts as precedent for overturning similar restrictive laws in other states May 2017: # Of Open Abortion Clinics in Texas Pre-2013 HB 2: 41 Post-HB2: 19 Texas Strategy 2017 → Onwards

Shifting from TRAP ( Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) laws to legislation that targets the procedure of abortion itself Pro-Choice Players To Know Whole Woman’s Health Founded by Amy Hagstrom Miller, a privately-owned “feminist organization committed to providing holistic care for women, including abortion care.” Clinics in Texas (McAllen, San Antonio, Fort Worth and the recently re-opened flagship clinic in Austin) as well as Baltimore, MD; Minneapolis, MN; and Las Cruces, NM Shift Founded by Amy Hagstrom Miller, a nonprofit based in Austin, TX that works to eradicate abortion stigma through culture change, education, advocacy and pro-active policy Planned Parenthood Single largest provider of reproductive healthcare in US, including but not limited to abortion Deeds Not Words Founded by Wendy Davis, this is a community of changemakers that provides a “starting point for turning ideas about women’s equality into action”

“If someone’s still laughing, they still have hope.” That’s the mantra of Lizz Winstead, co-creator of The Daily Show and founder of Lady Parts Justice (LBJ), a nonprofit made up of creative activists working to demystify abortion and bring awareness to legislative attacks against reproductive rights through the power of comedy. The moment I get on the phone with her and offer up the typical greeting pleasantry – “How are you?” – she lets out a deep, infectious laugh, followed by what’s occupying all of her time at the moment: “Never-ending tour planning to try to save people’s’ ability to have health care.” This summer, she’s embarking on the 8 week 15 city Vagical Mystery Tour with the Lady Parts Justice League (the traveling extension of LBJ). Aptly named in an altered nod to the Beatles’ 1967 Magical Mystery Tour album, the tour is taking comedy shows on the road to support local abortion clinics in states where access is most threatened. The team of comedians, writers and other artists has a clear agenda: To let local abortion clinics know they are valued and not demonized by the community and to provide people with the necessary resources to get involved. But to be clear, Lizz has no intention of changing the minds of those who are anti-choice. She’s seeking to light the fire for those who are fundamentally pro-choice but haven’t yet prioritized the issue or actively put themselves in the fight. “We want to re-introduce people and re-energize them and re-focus them on this issue because you would be surprised how many people are unfamiliar with how bad the assault [on abortion access] is,” she says.

For Lizz, like so many others for so many issues, the political fight for abortion access is personal. When she found herself in a toxic relationship and pregnant after the first time she ever had sex at age 16, she was lucky enough to be able to have an abortion in her home state of Minnesota. That experience made reproductive rights a part of the “toolkit of things” she’s always cared about and gave her a sense of relentless responsibility to guarantee that others have that choice.

make the four-hour road trip to be there. Our conversation goes from ranting about how ridiculous it is that pregnancy crisis centers (fake abortion clinics that lie to women about the physical and mental effects of abortion) receive state funding to talking about dipping out of the world for a few hours to follow a Netflix narrative is a great method of self-care.

“You can’t check out,” she says. “If you got to have an abortion and you’re no longer fighting for other people to have one, then you’re kind of a part of the problem.”

At one point, Lizz mentions that she wants people to know how strong “the other side” (pro-choice activists) is in the seemingly hopeless political landscape and how she believes that smart humor is an outlet from the tension and anxiety that the news hits us with every day.

If you aren’t already tuned in, Texas is a dark state for anyone seeking an abortion.

But rather than being a form of escapism, the work of the Lady Parts Justice League is acting as a catalyst for change.

Although the 2013 HB 2 law that closed down over half of the state’s clinics was deemed unconstitutional last year, the re-opening of clinics has been slow. With the Republican-led national administration emboldening conservative state legislators, the path forward is uncertain at best and downhill at worst.

“If you’re trying to control a person, I question your morality… These people that live in some world where there’s abstinence and unicorns should be people we never listen to, because it’s bullshit,” she says.

But the resistance of red state activism is alive and thriving. As Lizz puts it, Texas is filled with a bunch of “really awesome people who have terrible politicians like every other state.” She draws a lot of inspiration from Southern feminists engaging in on the ground around-the-clock resistance, like Whole Woman Health’s Amy Hagstrom Miller, which is why she’s teaming up with Texas pro-choice organizations this month in Fort Worth to put on a “Don’t Mess With Access” comedy show and host a mural painting competition to support the Whole Woman’s Health clinic.

“Your imaginary world that you wish it was is not the way you can legislate stuff.” // Looking to get involved and find out who’s doing what in your community in the fight for abortion access? Come out to the “Don’t Mess with Access” show on Thursday, 7 pm to 9:30 pm on May 18 at the Ridglea Theater for a night of laughs, drinks and a talk-back featuring local reproductive rights activists.

I knew about the Fort Worth event before getting on the call, but the way Lizz talks about it convinces me I need to

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NEW DAWN CLOSING NOTE // GARRETT SMITH, EDITOR-AT-LARGE

Relax. Take a moment to breathe - after all, you’ve absorbed a lot between these pages. And we understand how overwhelming it might feel. Even reading about the struggles and successes of those magnified by the lens of this issue may not be enough to inject brightness into your current being; there is no doubt that times seem dark, and we cannot expect to be a fire that lights up every inch of the night. Don’t be paralyzed in thinking that recent developments in our world have culminated in a setting sun for arts and expression, however. Don’t believe that tyranny has won the day, and your freedom, your dignity, or your humanity have lost. Because the truth is, after every setting sun comes that dreaded morning alarm. As hard as it may be to wake up and face the day - art and beauty surround you, if you seek them hard enough. There’s so much inspiration to be taken from so many hard-working, activist creatives, and we hope that helps get you out of bed and into the world. So alight from the safety of your hearth. You - yes, you, reader - are capable of so much. Create in the face of hatred. Burn with practiced passion. And like a wildfire - spread amongst the masses, and inspire those around you to organize and fight. We are capable of so much, when you or I becomes we, us.

Will you stand by our side? After all, there’s a new dawn rising. And we have work to do. 81

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inspiring quotes here

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