Is Your Life in Balance?

BE WELL: Achieve Happiness by Balancing the Most Important Elements in Your Life

BY BRADLEY HOUSTON

The urban definition of a GOAT is the “greatest of all time.” Some examples are Muhammad Ali in boxing, William Shakespeare as a playwright, and Luciano Pavarotti as a tenor. Although there is room for debate, each is at least one of the greatest of all time. To achieve greatness at the level of a GOAT, it requires great sacrifice in one’s life, which may result in neglect in other areas of one’s life. Achieving GOAT status may require sacrifice in relationships, physical health, and/or spiritual health---consider the phrase “a pact with the devil.”

Although many of us envy the GOATs of our day, a close inspection of their lives may reveal a less attractive existence. Psychology studies suggest that true happiness is a complicated formula. In my last article for Austin Lawyer (in the August 2021 issue), I discussed achieving happiness by living a worthwhile life.

It is my belief that long- term happiness is best achieved through balance. Happiness is like a chair or a table; it takes at least three legs to stand. What are the right elements for balance in your life? To determine those elements, you must first decide what is most important to you. Consider the following elements (besides work), although there are others:

(1) relationships,

(2) health, and

(3) spirituality.

All three are important. Let’s look at each, but not in any particular order.

Relationships are one of the most complicated elements, and difficult to get right. Humans, like other mammals, are “pack animals.” That is, we need to be around other beings for emotional health. The “pack” includes friendships, family, and other relationships, even a relationship with your dog or other pet. The first thing to understand is that relationships require effort, although the amount of effort depends on the particular type of relationship.

When I had been married about 20 years, I noticed that many of my contemporaries’ mar- riages were ending in divorce, and some were on their second or third. Couples often put no effort into their marriage and expect the marriage to make them happy. The obvious fact is, what you get out of a marriage is a product of what you put into it.

To be the GOAT of boxing, Muhammad Ali worked on it almost every day for 15 years. To have a great marriage, you have to work on it almost every day.

I noticed a phenomenon in divorced people. After the divorce, the now-single people were working out, doing charity work, getting involved in more organizations, and otherwise putting effort into making themselves more attractive. They were trying to live their best life, presumably for their next spouse.

It occurred to me, what if married people worked on being that better person for their current spouse? Moreover, what if married people tried to be kinder to their current spouse? It is a good idea to communicate this idea and get an agreement that both spouses will endeavor to take this approach.

Just like a marriage, friendships, club work, and professional organizations require effort. You must put effort into every kind of relationship if you want to get the most out of them.

Next, let’s look at physical health. The formula to maximize good health is pretty simple: sleep + good diet + physical activity. Although not always, this formula gives you the best chance of enjoying good health. Don’t under-do it and don’t overdo it (like I often did). The fact of the matter is a little exercise every day can make a tremendous difference in your health.

Park your car as far away from the store entrance when shopping (if it is safe). Take the stairs, not the escalator or elevator, whenever possible. Twenty to thirty minutes of walking a day will make a tremendous difference. Try five to ten sit-ups a day.

Finally, the last element of this trifecta of balance is spirituality. The first two questions men and women asked at the beginning of time were:

(1) What am I going to eat for dinner? and (2) Why am I here? The second question is the most difficult to answer. All the major religions have an answer, on which many of us rely. Others look to nature, or find the answer in non-religious organizations or other places.

One of the reasons spirituality is so important is because, if a person has no purpose or meaning in life greater than themselves, then when bad things happen, which we know they will, the person can become depressed and lose hope. People can find peace by remembering there is a greater purpose; problems don’t look as great.

Coming back full circle, you must work on all the elements of balance in your life. If you ignore the relationships in your life, you will end up alone. If you ignore your health, you may become too ill to function. If you ignore your need for spirituality, the problems in life will overwhelm you.

Keeping the balance is important to a happy life. How is your balance?

Brad Houston practices personal injury and appellate law, with an emphasis on bicycling and trucking cases. He is also the founder of Gruppo VOP, an informal training group for cyclists.