Choose to Do Something, Not Everything

BE WELL

BY MEAGAN M. JONES

As COVID restrictions have lessened, I, like many others, have returned to the in-person world, attending events and conferences without the aid of Zoom. Speaking with colleagues, I have noticed that conversation often turns to mental health and how we are all “surviving.” Our collective focus on discussing our current states of mental health and well-being made me realize two things: (1) After so many months of social isolation, people are more willing to talk about the sometimes-taboo topic of mental health; and (2) As the holidays rapidly approach and people’s calendars fill up with family, vacations, and holiday parties, it is important to not forget to take care of ourselves.

With the dialogue now open, self-care and mental wellness themes have erupted on social media. There have never been more resources available for exploring the topic, but setting realistic goals can be difficult when you learn that self-care truly means something different to everybody. Additionally, self-care does not always look a certain, one-size-fits-all way.

“Choice fatigue” is a concept that suggests our brain is only so capable and that our ability to make decisions gets worse after being presented with too many options. This paradoxical concept made me pause for a moment and consider how many decisions we all contemplate every single day. Not only as people, but also especially as attorneys, the potential impact these choices can have on our well-being and our clients’ well-being can potentially be profound. In just a few quick minutes researching self-care, I discovered so much content that it quickly became daunting. The obvious lesson was that the important choice is to do something, not everything.

If you were to ask a group of people what they do for self-care, you are likely to get as many answers as the number of people you ask. Studies show that people are more likely to not decide at all if they are suffering from choice fatigue. So, it is important to not let yourself become so bogged down with the barrage of “wellness approaches” that you choose to do nothing at all. Don’t try to do yoga, cooking, hiking, healthy food, mindfulness, journaling, regular exercise, maintaining friendships, and regular sleep… choose to do something, not everything.

Try one thing or many things until you find the thing that works for you. If you aren’t enjoying an activity, continue trying out other approaches. Plugging along, practicing a self-care routine that either you don’t enjoy or isn’t producing results, can be just as detrimental as ignoring self-care altogether. I notice that when I start a routine and fall off briefly I feel like I have to start all over, but the stakes are really not that high. Instead of beating ourselves up, we just need to choose to do something again.

We should all remember to take the time to worry about our own mental health and indulge in self-care as part of our regular routine.

Give yourself uninterrupted time:

• Focus on your next small goal;

• Catch up with a friend;

• Indulge in a favorite activity; or

• Spend time outside.

After enduring COVID, we have made strides in our ability to connect authentically about real mental health issues. In order to capitalize on this progress, we would do well to all remember to take the time to worry about our own mental health and indulge in self-care as part of our regular routine. I would suggest being flexible in your thinking around taking time for yourself and letting go of expectations. Make it a point to throw away the word should.

Throughout the pandemic, we have learned to allow a lot of grace for each other, our clients, and the collective community, and we must remember to do the same for ourselves. There is nothing we should be doing this year, aside from enjoying the holidays and experiencing, appreciating, and sharing the simple pleasure and joy from our experiences. AL

Meagan M. Jones is a partner at Maples Jones, PLLC. She practices family law.