Stress, Stress, and More Stress?

BE WELL

BY VIRGINIA SAMPSON

Our profession is stressful. Our stress can become unmanageable. Substance abuse and alcoholism as coping mechanisms are all too common.

All Stress Is Not Created Equal.

Short-term stress is part of our fundamental survival system—the fight-or-flight response—and it may be beneficial for us, according to research conducted at the Stanford Center on Stress and Health. The short-term stress of closing a transaction for a client or litigating a short trial may be beneficial for us.

It is the chronic stress that is damaging to our health—both mental and physical. We often go from the stress at the office to stress at home. Chronic stress depresses the immune system and causes inflammation. Inflammation is a root cause of certain cancers and many autoimmune diseases. Mentally, it can lead to anxiety and depression.

We are encouraged to get massages, be physically active, pursue hobbies away from the office, or take a vacation. All of these can help us escape the pressures of our professions and daily lives. But these are short-term remedies. As soon as we stop, the stress returns.

What if there was a simple, sustainable way to reduce our chronic stress?

Compassion and Attorneys: An Oxymoron?

Researchers at Stanford; University of California, Berkeley; and elsewhere have been studying the effects of compassion on adults. They found that practicing compassion reduces chronic stress. The feelings generated by showing compassion cause us to release oxytocin—the love hormone—into our bodies. Compassion feels good because it satisfies our biological need to connect to others. Isolation leads to depression and anxiety.

Simply put, practicing compassion means assisting someone in need. Practicing self-compassion means recognizing our own distress and comforting ourselves as we would another person.

You have a rough day. Perhaps you made a mistake on an important matter for a client or you’ve been less than kind to support staff, a colleague, or even a client. Afterwards you criticize and judge yourself. You may even say unkind things or attack yourself. That behavior creates stress. And if this behavior is chronic, then the result is chronic stress.

Reduce Stress—Show Compassion.

Real change only happens when we find solutions outside of our comfort zone. Instead of criticizing yourself if you have made a mistake, do the following:

• recognize what you have done and how it makes you feel;

• put it in perspective by saying things like everyone makes mistakes; and

• offer yourself words of kindness and forgiveness as you would to a friend.

When you do this, you are practicing self--compassion. If that is too much to do at the time, simply give yourself a hug. Touch is very healing, in part because it releases oxytocin.

Years ago, I was a full-time caregiver to my husband who had ALS. When I was melting down from the demands of caring for him and four young children, I would often give myself a hug. It works!

Practicing compassion for others—engaging in acts of kindness to others—has a similar effect. It reduces our stress.

Developing a lifestyle of compassion takes commitment. There are simple, science-based practices developed by researchers that can help you do just that. You can start now by making compassion a part of your daily routine. Ask someone at the office how they are and listen to the answer. Open the door for another person. Be kind to yourself by setting boundaries or not chastising yourself for your “mistakes.” Make these types of behaviors habits, and you will reduce your chronic stress. You will feel happier and be healthier, both mentally and physically, and even be more successful professionally. AL

Virginia Sampson is an attorney practicing estate planning, probate, elder law, and business law in Austin. She is the author of two books about compassion—one book for adults and one for children. She also consults with businesses, helping them to create cultures where everyone succeeds and thrives.