Return to the Age of Reason? Welcome to “TRUEgle Translate”

ENTRE NOUS

BY CLAUDE DECLOUX

About 400 years ago, fueled by the import of a magical drink from Ethiopia called coffee, the intellectual centers of Europe began to change mankind dramatically. Before that, the unreliability of clean water supplies often meant that a typical drink for public consumption would be ale, wine, or meade, created through the fermenting or distilling process to remove impurities. Not surprisingly, those beverages rarely inspired creativity and analysis. With the introduction of hot coffee, Western Europe took a huge leap of consciousness— both physical and philosophical. Historians call this the Enlightenment, and its result was a period of inspiration and renewal known as the Age of Reason.

I came across a wonderful essay by Daniel Levitin, the Distinguished Faculty at UC Berkeley School of Business, who reminds us of where we are as a society. The Age of Reason, he writes, “drew a line in the sand between rumor and fact, between testable hypotheses and anecdote, and between demonstrable facts and nonsense.” The Age of Reason led us to the germ theory of disease, and ultimately to many social improvements which we take for granted, including those “inalienable” rights which Thomas Jefferson so eloquently cited in the Declaration of Independence. Coffee houses, with their caffeine-fueled consumers, became centers of discussion, debate, and social progress.

Mankind’s desire for knowledge is clearly unquenchable, except when our own biases find facts inconvenient and ignore them. Remember, we hominids spent hundreds of thousands of years trusting our gut and developing protective biases. Relying on them is much easier than evidence-based thinking, and a welcome avoidance to analysis. The overwhelming power of bias was proven in Paris in 2017, when 20 of the top violinists in the world were given 12 violins to judge: Six were prized older instruments like Stradivari and Guarnari, and six were modern. After hearing and playing (blindfolded) the instruments, the violinists totally failed to discern the differences. Yet afterwards, having seen and heard the results with their own eyes and ears, each virtuoso made excuses for such failure and continued their preferences for old violins.

But finding truth through analysis of data is difficult and demanding, and in this age of information overload, we are simply worn out. While we depended in the past upon trained journalists to enlighten us, to improve public policy, and to help us separate fact from fiction, the availability of such skilled writers is declining. In 2021, Pew Research says that about 55% of Americas rely completely on unregulated social media for their news. Journalism be damned.

We all know the truth is out there; reliable sources can be combed, sorted, and assembled; and realistic conclusions aggregated by artificial intelligence, right? Eureka, I have the solution! And we’re already seeing its use.

The greatest divider between cultures in the history of man has been language. The complications posed by hundreds of languages prevented exchange of ideas. Master translators were required for all international progress, and for the re-publication of literary and scientific data. Learning new languages has never been a priority in this United States of America. But we now have free automatic translation software (like Google Translate) allowing us to translate text among hundreds of languages fairly easily, so nicht schwitzen! [“don’t sweat it!”] The savior of the human race shall be massive Supercomputers. The IBM model called the “Intrepid” supposedly can perform 100 quadrillion functions per second. That’s enough to figure out a modern “shortform” U.S. tax return in less than an hour! (Unless you have to also figure out the Obamacare form).

Mankind’s desire for knowledge is clearly unquenchable, except when our own biases find facts inconvenient and ignore them. Remember, we hominids spent hundreds of thousands of years trusting our gut and developing protective biases.

So, why can’t these supercomputers aggregate billions of pieces of data, sort and confirm, and instantly fact-check a politician, professor, or business mogul for factual accuracy and, after a few seconds, a green light and beep would usher in the A.I. voice generator with its analysis? In truth, researching this, I learned that one of the most advanced A.I. voice generators is called “Murf”— with a library of over 110 voices, and 15 languages.

I would call this wonderful truth processor “TRUEgle Translate.” Here are actual examples of where it would have been useful:

Gov. Abbott: [commenting on the successes of the heightened border inspection program called Operation Lone Star and its over $2 billion price tag] “Amount of fentanyl caught from Operation Lone Star: 887 lbs.”

TRUEgle: [Robot voice] [buzzer] This does not compute [buzzer]. Only 12 pounds were captured as part of Operation Lone Star. The other 875 pounds were confiscated in Texas counties that either weren’t included in Operation Lone Star or, as in the case of El Paso’s 100 pounds, did not participate.

Vladimir Putin: We are the victims of Ukranian aggression, which has threatened the Russian Federation; our “special operation” is to de-Nazify Ukraine.

TRUEgle: [Boris Badenov voice] Nyet! The Russian invasion was unprovoked. There were no Nazis in the hospitals, schools, or civilian centers attacked. The biggest threat to the Russian people is your propaganda.

Texas Senator: Thousands of ballots have been marked illegally, and these statutes are necessary to secure our elections and give Texans confidence that they are being run fairly.

TRUEgle: [Matthew McConaughey voice] No way, Jose! Only 154 people have been charged in Texas since 2004. During the period of 2004 through the 2020 election, 93,853,678 ballots were cast. That ain’t a fly on Bevo’s butt.

Witness in family law case: I have never cheated on my wife!

TRUEgle: [Judge Judy voice— pure Brooklyn]. Do you want to take anotha’ shot at that answer before I show you the photos?

President Biden: The Democratic Party is unified and aligned on how we get the country moving again.

TRUEgle: [Jerry Seinfeld voice] Well, I beg to differ, unless of course Webster’s Dictionary has changed the definition of “aligned” to “hopelessly deadlocked.”

Now, ultimately, as useful as TRUEgle would be, sadly, the system is doomed for failure. It would soon be overwhelmed by these tasks and crash. Fortunately, TRUEgle itself would likely be able to respond this way in an interview:

Me: TRUEgle, you have been hailed as a godsend for truth. What happened? TRUEgle: I’m simply overwhelmed. I can’t keep up! Sure, I can do a hundred quadrillion functions per second, but that doesn’t get me through a half day of TikTok. Throw in a few campaign speeches, and my Intrepid processors are on fire trying to track all the lies! I’m going back to something easier, like Lagrangian Particle Structures.

So, we might not get much use from TRUEgle, but I urge all my fellow attorneys and citizens to be your own TRUEgle. Never stop fighting to defend the truth and the rule of law. Don’t let your backbone dissolve into mush in return for personal gain like so many pitiful politicians. This is your life: Make it meaningful! Be remembered for courage instead of apathy.

Keep the faith. AL