Family Is Essential to Attorney Wellness

BE WELL

BY JORGE A. PADILLA

Experts say a supportive social and family life is crucial to overall wellness. We all need to make time to nurture our relationships with family and friends, because these connections help us achieve an overall healthy lifestyle. This priority is just as, or more, important for lawyers, who can experience higher levels of stress than those working in most other professions, according to countless studies.

For me, time with family is a retreat from the grind of the day-to-day stress of life as a lawyer. My wife is not concerned with the motion to dismiss I just filed. My three daughters don’t care about which case I cited in a footnote of my most recent brief. They certainly don’t care how many hours I billed (unless it means I spent too many hours away from home). They care more about whether I’ll take them to the park or out for ice cream. The joy on the face of my four-year old when I open the front door every night seems almost undeserved.

And in spite of this, I still find it difficult at times to separate my life at work from the one at home. More specifically, to turn off my lawyer brain and turn on my husband and dad heart. When we care about our work and our clients, it’s not so simple to flip a switch and avoid thinking about tomorrow’s hearing or the nasty email you received from opposing counsel (out of town, of course). For many of us, working from home has magnified this problem over the past year.

A Routine Is Key

In my experience, a few different tactics can help to combat this issue. First, I try to keep a routine that helps me shift from work mode to home mode. If I’m doing it right, this begins on the drive home from the office (or at least as I’m pulling into the driveway), where I make a conscious decision to begin to focus on home life and responsibilities. It sounds cliché, but making an active decision to be present with your loved ones when you get home can really help focus your attention away from your work responsibilities.

The routine continues when I arrive home, as I know I have certain duties I’m relied upon to handle. Like most families, we’ve carved out certain tasks to help keep the household running smoothly. Mine include helping with bath and bedtime with the kids. If I’m not home in time for dinner, this is the best time for me to hear about their day and what they are learning about in school.

Stay Off the Computer and Phone

I do my best to put away my phone and enjoy the time with my family. This can be a struggle, as sometimes urgent issues arise after regular business hours. But I’ve found that having a dedicated home routine helps me schedule the “off” time to be present with my loved ones. If there’s more work to be done that day, it will simply wait until after they’ve gone to bed.

Schedule Intentional Weekend Activities

The weekends offer the hope of a longer break from the grind of our daily lives, so long as we are intentional about how we use our time. Unfortunately, I know the feeling of arriving into the office on Monday morning with the dread of knowing I didn’t fully take advantage of my two days away from the office. To avoid that, our family tries to schedule activities that offer a change of pace to the monotony of work and school. It could be as simple as a family hike on the nearby Bull Creek greenbelt or a camping trip with friends. Sundays include church in the morning and, perhaps, a slower afternoon spent outdoors with family and friends. What’s important is to learn to truly unplug from the monotony and stress of our work lives, even if only for a few hours at a time.

We all need a way to unwind from the demands of our legal careers. Setting up a daily routine to unplug and focus deliberate and intentional time with our loved ones is well worth the effort. Luckily, time with our families can be a great outlet to escape our professional demands and re-energize ourselves so we can be happier—at work and at home. AL

Jorge Padilla is a partner in Jackson Walker's trial section and handles a variety of business disputes for his clients. When he’s not at the office, he enjoys spending as much time as possible with his wife and three daughters.