BE WELL: You Are Not Alone

BY BRIAN TAGTMEIER, SHEEHY WARE PAPPAS & GRUBBS, P.C.

One thing I do to give back to the legal community is speak about mental health issues in the legal profession and law schools. Why I do it is a simple reason: We need to talk about these issues, as they are affecting too many of our family members, friends, and colleagues. These illnesses are silent killers, not just of people but relationships, families, and more. Coming in just after cancer and heart disease, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among attorneys.

We don’t stand in front of someone who has cancer and yell at them to just get over themselves. We don’t tell someone with diabetes to just produce more insulin because it’s just that simple. We don’t scream at someone with congestive heart failure to pull her act together.

If mental illness were a priority, we would have races to raise money and awareness. If it mattered more, we would have ribbons and holiday telethons. If it were hip, we would have ice-bath challenges sweeping the internet. But it is not. It brings stigma and shame. Folks who suffer do not come out of the darkness, as they have been told to hide it, to be strong, man up, just do it.

The only way to face it is to hear, “Me too,” “I’ve been there,” “I hear you.” The dark hates the light, hates the understanding, hates the support. It cannot survive in that place.

I have been there. My kids have a dad because I reached out and got help. I moved from the darkness into the light. I chose not to look for the light at the end of the tunnel. I chose to be that light for myself and others to lead folks out of the darkness.

Where can you get help? More places than you know. Everyone reading this column has heard of the Texas Lawyers’ Assistance Program (TLAP). They have a great online and in-person presence to help people facing these challenges. TLAP provides confidential assistance. They do not share information with the State Bar, the Office of Chief Disciplinary Counsel, or any other disciplinary entity or agency. They can also provide you with people to talk to who have had these issues. There is an 800 number answered 24/7 that can connect you with others who have been where you are: 1-800-343-TLAP (8527).

Another useful source is Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers (LCL). LCL provides a free, con- fidential lawyer assistance program. They have local branches in many major cities for in-person support and provide a wealth of online information. There is also the Lawyers Depression Project. It is an online peer support group project for attorneys, law students, paralegals, and administrators. The project was started by several attorneys who struggled with depression and other mental health issues. Members can attend bi-monthly peer support group meetings and access a confidential forum for discussions about mental health.

Local bar associations also provide information to attorneys regarding counseling and treatment for mental health issues. I am a member of the Austin Bar’s Lawyer Well-Being Committee. The committee has resources to educate, support, and connect the legal community to achieve a better way of living for our profession. Houston and Dallas have similar groups. If finances are an obstacle to therapy, the Justice Mack Kidd

Fund provides financial assistance for counseling and medical treatment on a short-term basis for Austin attorneys and UT law students suffering from depression or related illness.

So, what can you do for yourself or to help others? If you need help, get help. If you know someone who needs help, talk to them. If they won’t talk to you, keep talking. Your friend or colleague will eventually listen and hopefully get help. But don’t quit on them. They need you more than ever. Tell your friend or colleague about the resources available to them. They may not know where to go.

Depression and mental illness thrive on silence. End the silence. Please. We all need to keep the ones we care about alive and help them with their suffering.

If I leave you with just one thought, let it be this one: You are not alone. Ever. You are not alone.

Brian Tagtmeier has a thriving mediation and arbitration practice, having mediated over 1,900 claims and arbitrated over 250 claims, including matters regarding commercial and residential construction, insurance coverage and bad faith litigation, securities litigation, professional liability (med mal and attorney malpractice), employment litigation, personal injury, maritime PI, and partnership/shareholder disputes.When practicing law, Tagtmeier specializes in construction litigation. He has also handled commercial litigation, insurance coverage and litigation, personal injury, partnership/shareholder disputes, and employment law matters. In his 30 years of practicing law, he has gained substantial experience and has tried or arbitrated cases in all these areas.