Teaching Vulnerability

Matt Cardona

In seminary, I found myself in a classroom with a man who enthusiastically began claiming that the world is an enchanted place, dripping with the glory of God. He would then usually—I heard it many times throughout my seminary experience, not only because he sometimes repeated himself, but also because I proceeded to sign up for every available class with him that was offered—move his hands in a dripping motion and provide the etymology of the word glory, which led to a conversation about Doxa, which somehow came back to dripping. I usually found my mind wandering by this point … he had me at enchanted.

He had also referenced an essay by J.R.R. Tolkien called “On Fairy-Stories.” Immediately, I knew that my path had crossed with a fellow pilgrim, and he must know the way back to Middle-Earth.

In one particular classroom moment, he exclaimed that we would have to do an exercise in which we had to move our bodies. Like this older wiry white fellow is going to show us how it’s done, I thought. I was dumbstruck when he led the charge with a street stomp dance, in which one group of students would force another group back with their awesome bodily movements until one side yielded. The audacity of this man!

Actually, what I initially perceived as ridiculousness was a cover for my own fear. Oh, the vulnerability!!! How dare he suggest that rote memorization and profound insight would not be enough to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, that our bodies themselves must come to know the friction that arises when Heaven meets Earth. How dare he suggest that receiving and entering the extraordinary story of God comes much easier when we do not take ourselves too seriously, when we see, touch, feel, and receive the world vulnerably.

Perhaps the most touching lesson I learned from this man was the realization that he was somewhat of an introvert. It made it even more amazing to realize the courage and energy he would summon to be in front of people in ways that even I, never really shy for the spotlight, struggled to be. What the heck was I doing with my life?! What call was I ignoring because it seemed hard?!

I will always treasure the countless hours of playing, acting, improvising, and creating alongside Dr. White. Thank you for constantly reminding me that there is something magically good about the world, that we are somehow invited into it, and that beauty shows us the way.

Matt Cardona (MDiv’19) is an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. He is currently serving as pastor of Buda [Texas] United Methodist Church. He studied with Professor White from 2016-19.