BEAUTY Raeka Panda’s August Wedding

WEDDING TRADITIONS AND CULTURE SHOCK

Following her wedding in August, Raeka Panda shares her experience fitting traditions into spaces unequipped for them.

BY RAEKA PANDA AND CY WHITE

For so many women, their wedding day is one of the most important events in their lives. The sentiment grows exponentially when you throw cultural traditions in the mix. Reaka Panda, founder of Raeka Beauty, always knew she wanted a traditional wedding. However, when seeking a venue, at times it became a test of patience, grace and compromise.

“I think venues love the idea of Indian weddings taking place at their venue but don’t necessarily take the time to learn what it entails,” Panda says. “More venues should take the initiative to learn other wedding cultures and traditions and facilitate their policies to be inclusive.” This is her story of surviving an industry that loves the idea of traditions but isn’t equipped (or willing) to accommodate them.

Describe the marriage traditions in your family and culture.

Hindu weddings are culturally big, bright and colorful! There are many different rituals at a Hindu wedding that traditionally take place over three days. The precise details vary from region to region and often take several hours to complete. The wedding ceremony itself includes the following:

1. The Baraat: Groom’s Parade

The groom arrives at the venue with his friends and relatives to be greeted by the bride’s family.

2. Var Pokhana: Welcoming the Groom

The groom is welcomed by his future mother-in-law and other members of the bride’s family, who will perform a welcoming ritual and then escort him to the Mandap.

3. Ganesha Puja: Blessings

The ceremony begins with a worship of Lord Ganesh so he may remove all obstacles and bless the bride and groom. The groom is then worshiped as the embodiment of Lord Vishnu by the bride’s parents.

4. Kanya Aagman: Arrival of the Bride

The bride is escorted into the Mandap. The groom and bride are separated by an Antarpat (special cloth).

5. Kanyadaan: Giving Away of the Bride

The bride’s parents give their daughter to the groom by putting the bride’s right hand into the groom’s right hand, requesting for him to accept his daughter as his equal partner.

6. Jai Mala: Garland Exchange

The bride and groom exchange fresh flower garlands which symbolize the unification of their hearts, minds and souls.

7. Agni Puja: Holy Fire

A sacred fire is lit in the center of the mandap to dispel darkness and ignorance from the lives of the couple and to lead them to light and knowledge.

8. Granthi Bandhan: Tying the Knot

The groom’s scarf is tied to the bride’s saree, representing the love that binds the two souls for a lifetime.

9. Mangal Pheras: Circling Around the Holy Fire

The couple circles the holy fire four times, each circle symbolizing the core values that they will pursue during their marriage: Dharma, to pursue life’s religious and moral duty; Artha, to pursue prosperity; Kaama, to obtain emotional and physical fulfillment; and Moksha, to pursue spiritual salvation. The groom leads the first three paths and the bride leads the fourth path.

10. Saptapadi: Seven Vows to Lead a Happy Married Life

The bride holds the groom’s left hand, and together they recite seven wedding vows: to respect and care for one another; to be patient with each other; to nourish each other’s strengths, power and fortune; to be honest and faithful to each other; to take this journey of life with love and harmony; to cherish each other in sorrow, happiness, in sickness and in health; and to remain lifelong friends.

11. Mangalsutra Dharan and Sindoo:

The groom offers the bride lifelong protection by placing a Mangalsutra, a sacred necklace, around her neck and applying Sindoor (red powder) on her forehead. These two offerings signify the bride’s status as a married woman and the groom’s devotion to the bride.

12. Ashirvaad: Farewell Blessings

Once the Priest declares the couple as husband and wife, the couple begin their journey together down the Mandap aisle. Floral showers of blessing and good wishes are given by parents, relatives and friends.

Did you run into any hardships because of your desire for a traditional wedding?

Yes. We wanted an indoor ceremony, so we were limited to what venues we could use. We were not allowed to replace the hour provided for rehearsal dinner with the additional hour we required for our wedding day. Instead, we had to pay for the additional hour. Most venues allow only six to seven hours of venue usage, and our wedding was eight hours. When it came to catering, we were disappointed to see that they had a list of preferred vendors for American food but nothing for South Asian cuisine (even though they’ve had several South Asian weddings there before). We were also required to use a staffing agency since we wanted to use a caterer not on their preferred vendors list. This added to our budget.

What advice can you give couples who are planning a wedding during COVID-19?

Asking vendors to be transparent about what they can and cannot provide is a must. Be prepared to adjust to changes, and seek out vendors who are willing to communicate openly and professionally at all times.

There are realities that aren’t in your control, and you just have to hope for the best. In the end, our story ended with the planets aligning and a breathtaking Blue Sturgeon moon and Jupiter soaring into twilight skies for a happily ever after.

Photography: Gaby Deimeke, @gdeimz Videography: UnityREEL, @unityreel Florals: Sixpence Floral Design, @sixpencefloral Decor: Unique Designs & Events, @uniquedesignsandevents Wedding Cake: Hayleycakes And Cookies, @thehayleycakes Caterer: Nala’s Indian Cuisine

Visit atxwoman.com to read the interview in its entirety.