expert advice

To Home Or Not To Home

My 86-year-old grandmother is adamant that she wants to keep living at home – but I’m worried about her safety. What should I do?

If you’re not confident that your grandmother is still able to live on her own, try and organise household help, make scheduled visits, and see if she’ll wear a personal alarm. You can also ask an occupational therapist to do an at-home visit and safety check.

Sceptical Dad

I finally got my “old-school” father an appointment with a nephrologist but he has an issue with her being a woman. How do I convince him to look past this?

This is a tough situation and may require some patience on your part. Discuss the nephrologist’s credentials: her education, years of experience, success stories with past patients, or any other information that you think may help his level of comfort. If all else fails, ask the referring GP for help and/or organise a call instead of a visit for the first consultation.

A Bitter Pill

How dangerous is it for my dad to be taking his medication with whiskey?

Many drugs will not interact well with alcohol. Depending on how a drug is metabolised, alcohol can decrease the desired effects of a medication, increase side-effects and even make it toxic. It’s definitely time to have a conversation, or, if you don’t think your dad will listen to you, to make an appointment with his GP.

INDEPENDENT AND AT RISK?

My mother lives alone. She’s happy but how can I figure out if she’s safe?

It’s important that you look out for the warning signs. Signs that someone shouldn’t be living alone include frequent falls, leaving the stove or oven on and forgetting about it, neglecting their own hygiene and health, having trouble with daily tasks, and forgetting their medication. If your mother is doing some or all of the above, it may be time to consider other options.

HELP – WITHOUT WARNING

My brother only occasionally shows up to visit our sister. He refuses to plan ahead, and his timing is all wrong – showing up at bedtime, bath-time or when we’re out at doctors’ appointments. What can I do to try and change it?

Start by sharing your sister’s schedule. Give him options for specific dates and times and a shared calendar (like Google Calendar). This way he can see the schedule as it changes and hopefully understand that while his visits are appreciated, a little warning is needed.