2020
AUSTRALIAN MUSIC FESTIVAL CALENDAR
EVERY EVENT. EVERY STATE.
11/51-11/31 | sdleiF yrrebwartS 11/7-11/5 | lavitseF keerC srojaM
11/22-11/02 | skaerftaeB naimehoB
11/51-11/21| lavitseF cisuM mulluM
11/82-11/62 | evoL elgnuJ
rebmevoN
11/82-11/62 | keerC snikpoH
.211 egap no ediug etib ekans ruo tuo ssssuS
91
62
6
5
03
32
92
skaerftaeB naimehoB
22
71
9
61
8
51
42
81
01
sdleiF yrrebwartS
11
1
S
y a dn o M
2
y a dseuT
3
y a d sen de W
4
y a d sruh T
rebmevoN
y a di r F
52
?yob gnol a yps uoy fi od ot tahw wonk uoy oD !ailartsuA ni nosaes ekans kaep si rebmevoN
CI V | n o o y t a T | l a v i t s e F k e e r C s n i k p o H
72
D L Q | l i b m I | l a v i t s e F e v o L el g n u J 82
02
DLQ |kciwraW| skaerftaeB naimehoB
12
21
WSN |ybmibmulluM| lavitseF cisuM ybmibmulluM
31
WSN |lawmucoT| sdleiF yrrebwartS
41
7
y a d r ut a S
WS N | k e er C sr oja M | lavits e F k e er C sr oja M
y a dnuS
y a dnuS
BOHEMIAN BEATFREAKS
Join a society of kindred spirits connecting under the stars. washes over you so completely that something inside releases, and you find yourself shaking free from those societal shackles weighing you down?
skaerftaeBnaimehoB@ :GI
ua.moc.skaerftaebnaimehob//:sptth
:ot og smargorp dna scip ,stekcit roF
Are you itching for that moment when the music
We all need freedom, love and connection - and Bohemian Beatfreaks has all three on tap. Set in lush SEQ wildnerness, here you'll enjoy a diverse lineup of electronic & live acts atop two sculptured stages, nourish yourself at yoga workshops, sample unique wares at the markets, chill in a starlight cinema & much, much more! Where: Cherrabah, Warwick QLD When: Saturday 20th - Monday 22nd November Tickets: $199 Early Bird Special Vibe: Creative & friendly Bring: Fancy dress, there are prizes!
There wasn't a single stage I could walk past without having a boogie. I'll be back.
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2020
HEADLINERS
ARTISTS KNOWN TO INDUCE FOMO.
How did you come up with your names? D: When I came back from my last big travel,
NUDE FANS, 90’S CHEESE, I discovered electro swing music, artists like
Parov Stelar, and I thought, “This is gonna be
& SUPRE JACKETS:
my niche. I’m gonna play glitch and electro swing and call myself Mood Swing”
N: I had ten names which I put to my friends
HOW MOOD SWING &
on Facebook to vote, and Chevy Bass
(derivative of Chevy Chase) was what they chose. My other names included Doperah
CHEVY BASS GET DOWN
Spinfrey (Which is now taken), Jive Palmer, Spin Diesel, David Phattenborough….they were all piss takes of something.
They’ve done Boomtown, an international tour, all your fave local festivals, and now they’re coming to Elements! Here's why we’re frothing like a DeLonghi to see Nick & Dizzy play...
ARTISTS KNOWN TO INDUCE FOMO.
Loosest unit you’ve seen at a show? N: We played a little doof out at Chinchilla a few months ago called “The Purge”. It was a small doof put on by some young legends who asked us to headline. So we were playing and it’s… you know, it’s pretty loose. Then out of the left side of the stage
He sort of froze
this naked dude just walks onto the stage next to us. He’s absolutely cooked out of his canastas! He sort of looked at us, then looked out at the crowd,
like an animal
and at first we thought that’s pretty hilarious. We
and made a splitsecond decision
were pissing ourselves laughing. There was no security at this festival and soon people were like, “You gotta get off the stage!”. Well, he could have got off using either the back
to take the most
exit or the two side exits, but he sort of froze like
obvious course of action – jumping off the front of the stage!
an animal and made a split-second decision to take the most obvious course of action – jumping off the front of the stage. Unfortunately, he tripped on the camouflage netting on the stage and, with his foot caught in a hole, he fell about a meter and half with his crotch landing squarely on this poor small girl’s face. D: When he got caught in the camo I could see this small girl underneath him go “Nooooooo!” We were kinda like still trying to play our set, but we also wanted to know what happened. The girl was OK, he was OK, everyone had a laugh about it in the end. We should have filmed it.
How would you describe your
What’s your festival tally?
sound right now?
Who is your musical idol and/or guilty pleasure?
D: We literally have played N: Funky in the front, filthy in
every festival in Australia that
N: My musical idol is Prince,
the back …I’ve used that
we’ve wanted to attend or
my guilty pleasure is 90’s
before, but it’s totally still
play.
dance music.
relevant. N: There’s maybe 3 we
D: 90s cheese, hit machine
D: I waste ages of time trying
haven’t’ ticked off yet:
and video hits. That covers all
to describe it in festival
Rainbow, Dragon Dreaming
of it. See this? (holds up Hit
applications. Mate, that right
and Strawberry Fields.
Machine 13 CD) this sits up
there, that’s perfect.
on the mantelpiece with the D: We would have played at
prayer beads from India and
How did you come up with
least 20-30 in the last 3
the golden buddha from
your names?
years. From here to the end of
Thailand. And my musical
the year we’re playing
idol would probably be
D: When I came back from
Mushroom Valley, Elements,
Opiuo.
my last big travel, I
Island Vibes, Jungle Love,
discovered electro swing
Bohemian BeatFreaks,
Who has the most annoying
artists like Parov Stelar, & I
Subsonic, Violet Vibes and a
habit?
thought, “This is gonna be my
secret New Years Show.
niche. I’m gonna play glitch & electro swing & call myself
N: My electronic devices are Whose hat is dirtier?
Mood Swing”.
constantly out of battery – always on 2%. I like to live
D: It’s definitely got to be me
life on the edge & I hate
N: I had 10 names which I
considering all the shit that’s
being told what to do.
put to my friends on
hanging off the back of it.
Facebook to vote, & Chevy
After the last festival I went to,
D: Mine are telling Nick to
Bass (derivative of Chevy
I came back with someone’s
plug his phone in, always
Chase) was what they
lost dreadlock attached to it,
being early. I'm way too
chose. My other names
and the one after that it was a
good looking & talented…
included Doperah Spinfrey
used tea bag. It was a fancy
(Which is now taken), Jive
tea though, you know infused
Palmer, Spin Diesel, David
pear with lavender. I’m not an
Phattenborough…
animal.
N: You’re a sook sometimes. D: No I’m not.
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2020
FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE
PARTY LIKE THERE IS A TOMORROW.
HOW TO SURVIVE A SNAKE BITE
Want to avoid an encounter with a danger-noodle?
their ways, longbois can get very defensive! Expect them to mumble hurtful words as they skulk away, or, if
Despite their seemingly tranquil
you're silly enough to corner a
demeanours, longbois (or,
longboi, don't be surprised
snakes, as they are sometimes
when their long teeth penetrate
called) are actually rather
your dainty flesh.
passive aggressive creatures. The best way to avoid such Like that housemate who never
conflict is to be thoughtful about
empties the dishwasher, they
where you reside.
prefer to spend their days listening to dub and alternating
When scoping out a campsite
between lying on the couch in a
(or a sharehouse) avoid places
food coma and slithering around
with long grass, debris littered
your shelf in the fridge.
across the front yard, or visible piles of skin or poo lying
And, when confronted about
around.
DO Treat all bites as deadly.
You never need to catch or kill a snake. Medical services don’t rely on visual ID & most
- Call 000 immediately & alert
bites happen when
the on-site medical team.
humans bother
- Apply a pressure
snakes.
immobilisation bandage: 1. Wrap the bandage over the bite, tightly enough that you can’t easily put a finger between the bandage & the skin. 2. Use a roller bandage, cloth,, or plastic wrap to wrap from just above the digits of the
DON'T
affected limb (so you can check their circulation) up to the hip or armpit. 3. Splint the limb (and joints) on either side of the bite & mark the bite location. - Keep the bitten person calm & completely still until help arrives.
- Move the person (unless they're in immediate danger) - Wash, cut or suck* the bite - Throw away clothing from the bite area - Restrict blood flow - Kill the snake for identification - Freak out: Anti-venom is available! - Apply a tourniquet
Aw heck.
Tourniquets can keep poison concentrated in one area, rapidly damaging nearby cells!
*Red Dead Redemption 2 lied to you. This doesn't work.
What should you do if you find a snake inside your tent or van?
WE ASKED, YOU ANSWERED... "Aggressively poke it with a stick until it goes."
S T A Y
"Burn it."
"Put it back where it
S T I L L
belongs.'
"Run away!"
"Ask it how it got in when I zip, zip, zip up!"
"Boof it."
REMAIN
CALM B A C K
"Spray it with a can of bug spray!"
"Put it in my boot!"
"Leave before its beady, psychedelic eyes hypnotise me into sleep and death in its milky jaws."
ACTUAL ANSWER -->
AWAY SLOWLY
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ARE YOU A THIRSTY ONE?
I know what you're
The recommended water intake
thinking...
for ladies is 2.1L a day, blokes need 2.6L to stay sprightly.
You've been aimlessly wandering this planet long enough to know
You must drink more water when
when you need a sneaky glass of
you're outside shaking your
cloud piss, right?
sweaty, sparkly bits.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,
Taking water from strangers is a
cool...
gamble. Bring your own bottle & know communicable diseases are a thing.
But, just in case you come across
.rotcod a deen yam uoy enoemos lleT
EGAIRT YNWAT
NARAHAS YLEREVES
.segarim diova ,etam a dnif ,etardyH
.tats ,.elttob elohw a hsamS
EMIT YARPS NEDLOG
REBMU ELBANETNU
.uoy rof muminim knird owt a s'tI
NROC SUOICIPSUS
.egev ytaews uoy ,ssalg a knirD
.reciffo ,ereh ees ot gnihtoN
feeling thirsty.
WOLLEY WOLLEM
dehydrated without actually
know about dehydration.
.fo duorp eb nac uoy eeP
Remember: You can be
here's what you need to let them
HSERF YNOMEL
little more prune than grape,
RAELC EHT ENI-RU
.detardyh alleh er'uoY
someone else who's looking a
You never need to
HOW TO catch or kill a
snake. Medical
services don’t rely
TELL IF
on visual ID & most bites happen when humans bother snakes.
YOU'RE DEHYDRATED
dizziness
I'M PARCHED
dry lips & mouth
AS BRO fast breathing
fast heart rate
drowsiness
irritability or confusion
fever or nausea
dark/not much urine
headache
!enirU dooG fO etisoppO ehT s'tahT 6 Random Facts About Pee (You're Welcome)
The average adult produces 6.5 cups a day
Pee doesn't cure jellyfish stings (but hot water will
When your piss
help!).
is darker than
Drinking your own pee will
Pepsi, you
dehydrated, because it's
know it's time to drink water and ease up on the goons.
make you MORE
salty!
Blokes wee faster than gals up until 50, when the ladies take the lead.
The world record for the longest pee is 8 1/2 minutes.
Camels pee all over their legs to keep cool (and their urine is 2x as salty as sea water).
2020
FUN & GAMES
WHEN YOU NEED A LITTLE STIMULATION.
SO YOU THINK YOU'RE A
Cunning Linguist? Use the quiz below to find out if you're the complete package (big brains and limber lips). Or, better yet, prove once and for all that verbose mate of yours is full of it. CIRCLE THE RIGHT MEANING
1. Soiree: 2. Quaff:
(a) formal gown (b) evening party (c) delicate dessert
(a) eat smugly (b) drink heartily (c) smell pensively
3. Cobber:
(a) friend (b) shoe maker (c) baking utensil
4. Cachinnate: 5. Goa:
(a) look for fish (b) distill liquid (c) laugh loudly
(a) Indian state (b) medicinal herb (c) large lizard
6. Endocrinal:
(a) digestive (b) hormonal (c) neurological
7. Bumbershoot: 8. Revelry:
(a) Australian town (b) musket (c) umbrella
(a) raucous festivities (b) competition (c) flirtation
9. Cattywampus: 10. Malarkey:
(a) baby ocelot (b) sits askew (c) small banjo
(a) insincere talk (b) roaring party (c) tropical virus
ANSWERS OVER THE PAGE
HOW MANY POINTS
Did You Rack Up Today? What your score says about you: 1-6
6 - 12
12 - 18
Ah well. Most human
Congratulations! Not
You're a cunning linguist
communication is done
intimidatingly wordy, not
indeed. If you scored 16+,
through body language
too plain, you're playfully
however, most people
anyway. Here's hoping
straddling the English
won't appreciate your sexy
you know how to dance!
language.
linguistic acumen.
1.
Soiree: (b) An evening party or gathering, typically in a private house, for
2.
Quaff: (b) To drink something (usually an alcoholic beverage) heartily. 2 points
conversation or music. 1 point
3.
Cobber: (a) An Australianism for a companion or friend (most popular in the early
4.
Cachinnate: (c) To laugh loudly, originally from the word cachinnare, which
5.
Goa: (a) An Indian state found along the Western coastline, Famous for hippie
6.
Endocrinal: (b) Referring to the endocrine glands, which secrete the body's
7.
Bumbershoot: (c) An umbrella, the American slang combines the "umber" sound in
8.
Revelry: (a) Raucous festivities, where much noisy merriment is made and drinking
9.
Cattywampus: (b) Referring to an object that has been placed askew, is not lined
20th century). 1 point
(apparently) sounds like whooping laughter. 3 points
tourists and "Goa trance" beach dance parties. 2 points
hormones. 3 points
umbrella with the "shoot" sound in parachute. 1 point
to excess is common. 1 point
up, is not arranged, or is diagonal to another location. 3 points
10.
Malarkey: (a) Insincere, meaningless or nonsensical talk, potentially originating from the classic Greek insult "malakĂa". 1 point
Creativity is courageous.
DANCE
FLOOR
DELIGHTS
ACROSS DOWN
1. UNDERGROUND PARTY 5. OTHERWORLDLY POWER 7. ICONIC FESTIVAL
1. TABLE TURNER
11. CATCHY SONG
2. ADMIRER
12. BAND PRACTICE
3. ELECTRONIC TUNES
13. CHEST WIGGLE
4. EMITS SOUND
14. PERFORMANCE
6. NASAL DANCE
15. NFL MOVE
8. PARTY LIGHT
16. SEAMLESS MOVES
9. SWEAT PROBLEM
17. PERFECT HAPPINESS
10. 2010 DANCE
CRACK E
J
S Y
S
T
R
THE F
T
R
CRYPTOGRAM
S Z D
O G
U P
I
'
T
R
M P Y
' K
I
D Y
S
A O Y Y A R
N O Y
S G T S O F
?
? TO UNCOVER THE SECRET MESSAGE, SUBSTITUTE THE CODED LETTERS FOR THEIR CORRESPONDING CORRECT LETTERS.
Play with yourself
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