SOCIAL SKILLS

Ask Annelise

Avenue’s new agony aunt, Annelise Peterson, solves your social dilemmas in time for the holiday season

Dear Annelise,

I am hosting a Yuletide dinner party for eight. My friend is bringing a billionaire she has been dating for six months and is desperate to impress. He has a reputation for being extravagant, opinionated, and a foodie. Help! What should I serve, and any tips on who I should seat him next to?

Sincerely, Harried Hostess

Sounds to me as if your friend is dating a plateful, and now he’s being served at your apartment on a silver platter! It’s not wise to comment on who she dates, unless she asks, and it is also not your duty to impress him. Part of the process of getting to know someone is to interview. Just be yourself and put your best food forward—nothing more. If this opinionated billionaire gives you a hard time about what you serve and where he’s seated, perhaps your friend may find his dollars far from delicious when appetizers arrive with a bad attitude. Being open-minded and inclusive is both stylish and cool—characteristics of a gracious guest that can’t be acquired through a bank account.

Dear Annelise,

I have a senior job in fashion and during the holiday season I get sent a lot of free stuff from designers. I have a very specific style and won’t wear most of it. Is it unethical to regift, and if not, what are the rules of regifting to junior staff?

Yours, Fifth Avenue Fashionista

I believe that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. If you feel your junior staffers will like these holiday goodies, why not let them reap the rewards of your picky personality! The only caveat is to make sure they know it’s a regift. Full transparency, giving credit to the design house for their seasonal generosity, doesn’t cost a thing and will spare you any unnecessary embarrassment. Heaven forbid they try to return it or the item gets confiscated off The RealReal!

Hi Annelise,

I run a business with a lot of female employees. I always ask my PA to organize their holiday gifts, as she has impeccable taste, but I have to choose her gift myself. Last year the scented candle went down like a lead balloon. Do you have any suggestions?

Best regards, CEO with a Shopping SOS

Have you thought to ask your stellar PA her current holiday craving? I find the greatest gift givers are also impeccable listeners. Feeling heard is as close to feeling loved—they’re almost inseparable! Improve your CEO inquiry skills. Let your personal assistant know your desire to acquire a present that truly reflects your gratitude. You may be surprised that the real gift is your expressed appreciation of her hard work and great taste. As I say to my children, toys break—sentiments last a lifetime.