AVENues Newsletter: Winter 2017

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An e ws l e t t e rf ort h ec ommu n i t y , b yt h ec ommu n i t y .

Wi n t e r2017|I s s ue#34


cont ent s Ont h ec ov e r : S u r v i v i n ga nAc eCh r i s t ma s ! TwoofAVENu e sg u e s twr i t e r swr i t ea bou tt h e i r pe r s on a l Ac ee x pe r i e n c e sov e rt h ec ol de rh ol i da y pe r i od; f r omf a mi l yc u r i os i t i e st o#c r a z y c a t l a dyt i me s .

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Op e nmi c : Ha v ey ou rs a y

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Aswi t he v e r ye di t i onwepa s st h emi ca n dpl a c ea pu r pl es oa pboxu n de ry out os h ou ta bou ta l l t h i n g s Ac e , a n da n y t h i n gi n be t we e n . Youdi dn ’ tdi s a ppoi n t !

Me e ta nAc e : F i n dy ou rn e a r e s tme e t u p We ’ r es e e i n gawa r mi n gi n c r e a s eofAc eme e t u ps or g a n i s e dbyf e l l owAc e ; sf r oma r ou n dt h ewor l d! Ma k ei ty ou rNe wYe a r ’ sRe s ol u t i on !

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3Ac eCh r i s t ma s 6Me mbe rh i g h l i g h t 7Qu e s t i on soft h emon t h 10As e x yj ok e s

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 @a s e x u a l i t y

11Ope nmi c 12As e x ypu z z l e 13Cl a s s i f i de s 14Upc omi n gme e t u ps

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Adi g i t a l v e r s i onofAVENu e sc a nbev i e we da ti s s u u . c om/ a v e n u e s 1 1 |Wi n t e r2017


t het ea m Edi t or i nChi e f nd 2 Edi t or i nChi e f Cr e a t i v eDi r e c t or CoEdi t or s

Ci r i s c a r l e t l a t i t u de Th i n k Not Va n i l l a As h e n Ph oe n i x Aqu a Ac e Bl u eI c e T e a s c a r l e t l a t i t u de S k y Wor l d S n a oÇoñ é

Cr e a t i v eAr t i s t s Cont r i but or s

k e l i c o Th i n k Not Va n i l l a Ga l a c t i cT u r t l e s c a r l e t l a t i t u de S n a oÇoñ é a n dy ou! . . .

” Wi n t e r2017|2


Una s k e dQue s t i ons , Hol i da yMe a l s , a ndAl oneTi meAmongF a mi l y b yS n a oÇo ñ é

h e r ea r ema n yh ol i da yt r a di t i on si nmy f a mi l yt h a th a v ek e ptov e rt h ey e a r s . F or di n n e ronCh r i s t ma sEv e , be c a u s emyda d i nh i sc ol l e g ey e a r sde l i v e r e df oodf oraCh i n e s e r e s t a u r a n ta n dbr ou g h tf oodt oh i spa r e n t sont h e bu s i e s tn i g h toft h es e a s on ,weh a v eCh i n e s ef ood. We ’ v eor de r e df r omt h es a mepl a c ef ort h e30y e a r s t h a tI c a nr e c a l l , a n dt h e i rme n uh a sh a r dl yc h a n g e d. I t ’ sn ott h ek i n dsoff ood t h a twe or de rt h a t ’ s c h a n g e d; i t ’ sme r e l yt h ev ol u me .

a cechr i s t ma s AVENu e sCoEdi t or ’ ss c a r l e t l a t i t u dea n dS n a oÇoñ és h a r et h e i r pe r s on a l e x pe r i e n c e si nbe i n gAc ef ort h ec omi n gf e s t i v epe r i od 3 |Wi n t e r2017

Th en u mbe rofs e a t sfi l l e df ort h i sa n dot h e rh ol i da y me a l sh a sv a r i e dov e rt i me . Th es k e l e t onc r e wwa s fi v eofu s–mypa r e n t sa n dt h e i rt h r e ec h i l dr e n . At v a r i ou spoi n t swe ’ v ea c c ommoda t e dot h e rpe opl e , de pe n di n gonwh ol i v e dn e a ru sorwh owa sv i s i t i n g , a n dwh e t h e rt h e yh a ds u bs t a n t i a le n ou g ha c t i v i t y pl a n n e dt on otf e e la l on ef ort h eh ol i da y s .L oc a l r e l a t i v e swi t h ou tt r a di t i on soft h e i rownh a v ea l wa y s be e nwe l c omea tt h et a bl e .Ot h e rr e l a t i v e sh a v e j oi n e du sf r om ou toft owni nv a r i ou sy e a r st ot a k e a dv a n t a g e oft h eh ol i da y sa sa ne x c u s et og e t t og e t h e r . F r i e n dsoft h ef a mi l ywh owe r e n ’ tc ook i n g t h e i rownt u r k e yh a v ebe e ni n v i t e d, a sl on ga sweh a d t h er i g h tn u mbe rofc h a i r s .Ex t e n de df a mi l i e sof t e n de df a mi l i e sh a v ea l s oj oi n e dba s e dont h e e x s ome t i me sde t r i me n t a l g e n e r os i t ya n dh os pi t a l i t yof mypa r e n t s . Th ef a mi l i e sof mys i bl i n g s ’ pa r t n e r sh a v e c omet oo ,a sl on ga si tdi dn ’ ti n t e r r u ptt h e i rmos t s a c r e doft r a di t i on s . Th ebi g g e s tc r owdsh a v ec omeov e rf ordi n n e ron Ch r i s t ma sDa ywh e nmyda dc ook sas i z e a bl et u r k e y

a n dwedr i n kwi n ea n dbe e ra n dpl a yg a me s . Bu tt h e c r owd onCh r i s t ma sEv eh a sde c l i n e d ov e rt h e y e a r s . Mor eoft h ef a mi l i e sc on n e c t e dt oou r ss e e m t oh a v emor ei mpor t a n tt r a di t i on sonCh r i s t ma sEv e t h a nonCh r i s t ma s , a n ds ot h ec ompr omi s ei st oopt ou tofCh i n e s ef oodont h e24t h .Th i sh a sa l s o obl i g e d myi mme di a t ef a mi l yt o optou toft h e Ch i n e s ef ooddi n n e ra n da t t e n de v e n t sf ort h e i r pa r t n e r s ’ f a mi l i e s . I t ’ son l yf a i r ; mys i deoft h ef a mi l y i son l yh a l foft h epi c t u r e , a n di t ’ st h ee a s i e re v e n tt o t u r ndown , a sa l l oft h el e f t ov e r sa r et h r owni n t oa wokonCh r i s t ma sa f t e r n oont of e e dpe opl ef or l u n c ht i me , s oi ft h e ymi s ss omeont h en i g h toft h e 24t ht h e y ’ l lj u s tc on s u met h i sf oodi na ne qu a l l y or mt h en e x tda y . de l i c i ou sf Bu tI , a sa na r oa c ewi t hn opa r t n e rorn e e df oron e , don ’ th a v ea n y wh e r ee l s et obeonCh r i s t ma sEv e , e x c e ptf ora tmypa r e n t s ’ h ou s ewi t ht h e ma n dt h e dog sa swe wa t c hI t ’ saWon de r f u lL i f ee v e r y f r e a k i n gy e a r .( S poi l e r s :Ge or g eBa i l e yde c i de si t ’ s wor t hl i v i n gde s pi t eh ow t e r r i bl eh i sda u g h t e ri sa t t h epi a n o . )I t ’ sl e s sf u nt odr i n kwh e ni t ’ son l yy ou r pa r e n t sa r ou n dt odr i n kwi t h .Dog sa r eg r e a tf or c u d dl i n gbu tn otv e r yl i v e l yf oras e a s on a lpa r t yb y n i n eo ’ c l oc ka tn i g h t . Wh a twa son c ear e l a x i n gn i g h t ofg a me sa n dg oodf oodt ok i c koffaf e wda y swh e r e n e i t h e rs c h ool n orwor kwe r ea n y on e ’ sc on c e r nh a s t u r n e di n t ol y i n gont h ec ou c hl i k eaz ombi e . Be i n g e a g e rt og ot obe da n dwa k eu pCh r i s t ma smor n i n g i sn ol on g e ra bou tS a n t aCl a u s .I t ’ sa bou tg e t t i n g t h r ou g ht i mewh e r eI ’ mn ota l l owe dt obea l on e , bu t n otwi t ha n y on ee i t h e r .


Nobodyt a l k sonCh r i s t ma smor n i n ga n y mor e . Wi t h t od dl e r sa r ou n dn ow,i t ’ sbe c omea bou tt h ej oyi n c h i l dr e n ’ se y e swh e nt h e yope ng i f t sf r om aS a n t a t h e ya bs ol u t e l yk n ow t ober e a l .F oc u s i n gont h e c h i l dr e nh a st h a n k f u l l ydr a wna t t e n t i ona wa yf r om t h ef a c tt h a tIdon ’ tr e a l l yl i k er e c e i v i n gg i f t s .I t ’ s l a r g e l ys t u ffIdon ’ tn e e df r om pe opl ewh of e e l obl i g a t e dt og e tme s ome t h i n g .Gi f t sbe t we e n pa r t n e r sa r es t i l l i mpor t a n t , f ors omer e a s on , wh i c h i spe r h a pss ome t h i n gmya r oma n t i c i s mwon ’ tl e tme u n de r s t a n d.Th ea f t e r n oon i sf or n a ps .Th a t ’ s pr oba bl yt h eCh r i s t ma st r a di t i onmos tc ompa t i bl e wi t hmya r oa c es e l f :n a ppi n ga n dn otf e e l i n gg u i l t y f ori t .Af t e rwa k i n gu p ,Ig e tdr e s s e dl i k eac i v i l i z e d u s tf ort h i son eda y . I h e l pt i dyu pt h er oom pe r s onj wh e r et h eg i f t swe r eope n , a n ds e tt h et a bl ei nt h e di n i n gr oomf ort h emu c hl a r g e rc r owdt h a twi l l j oi n u s . Ih e l pmyda dwh e nh en e e dsi t , l i k eg e t t i n gt h e dog sou toft h ewa ywh e nh e ’ sc a r v i n gt h et u r k e y . I t ’ s l a r g e l yqu i e tdu r i n gt h eda y ,a tl e a s ti nt e r msof c on v e r s a t i on . Ch i l dr e ns qu e a l a st h e ypl a ywi t ht h e i r t oy sa n ddog ss t i l lh owlt obef e dont i me ,bu tt h e a du l t smos t l yk e e pt ot h e ms e l v e sa st h e yn a por wa t c hwh a t e v e rTVma r a t h on sa r eon .I t ’ sat i me wh e ni tdoe s n ’ tma t t e ri fI ’ ms a n spa r t n e r . Nobody ’ s c on c e r n i n gt h e ms e l v e swi t ha ppe a r a n c e sa tt h i s poi n t– j u s t ma k i n gs u r et h a te v e r y t h i n gi s pr e s e n t a bl eb ydi n n e r t i me . Th ec r owdsi n v i t e dt oj oi nu sf ort h i sg e n e r ou sme a l s t a r tt oa r r i v ea r ou n d4: 30i nt h ea f t e r n oon . Th e r e ’ s al ott opa c ki nf ora ne v e n i n gwi t hy ou n gc h i l dr e n wh oh a v ey ou n gc h i l dr e n ’ sbe dt i me s . Th e

h et u r k e yh a sbe e ni nt h eov e ns i n c emi dmor n i n g a n di sa l r e a dyc ook e de n ou g ht obes e r v e d.Th e t a bl eh a sbe e ns e ta n dt h ewi n e sh a v ebe e ns e l e c t e d. P e opl emu s ts i tdown , fi l l t h e i rpl a t e s , ma k eat oa s t t oe a c hot h e ra n dt h en e wy e a r , t h e nc on s u met h e i mme n s ea mou n toff oodpr e pa r e df ort h ee v e n t . S c r a psa r et obet h r ownou t , l e f t ov e r sa r et obepu t a wa y , di s h e sa r et obet a k e nf r omt h et a bl et o t h e di s h wa s h e rors c r u bbe db yh a n d( i ns h i f t s be c a u s ev e r yr a r e l ydoe sa n y bodye a g e r l ywa n tt o t a k eov e rt h a tr ol ef ort h ewh ol en i g h t ) . Ga me sa r e pl a y e da n dmor edr i n k sa r eh a d. Ch i l dr e na r el ook e d ov e rb yon eort wope opl ewh i l et h er e s tr e l a x mor e .Wh e nt h e r ea r ee n ou g h pe opl e doi n g e n ou g ht h i n g s , t h ec on v e r s a t i ont opi c ss k i r ta r ou n d meormype r s on a ll i f e .NobodyonCh r i s t ma sh a s e v e ra s k e dwh yI h a v e n ’ tbr ou g h ta n y bodywi t hme . I dodg et h a tbu l l e tn e v e rfi r e de v e r yy e a r . I t ’ squ i t er e f r e s h i n gt h a tI ’ v ema n a g e dt oa v oi dbe i n g a s k e dwh e r emyboy f r i e n di s ,e v e r yy e a ru pu n t i l n owa n dh ope f u l l yf orl on g e r . P e r h a psi t ’ sCa n a di a n ma n n e r s . P e r h a psi t ’ sbe c a u s ee n ou g hpe opl et h e r e k n ow I ’ ma na br a s i v ei n di v i du a lwh e ni tc ome st o i n n oc u ou squ e s t i on sa bou tl ov e , l e ta l on ebe i n gt h e t a r g e tofl ov ei t s e l f .It h i n kmos t l y ,t h ou g h ,i t ’ st h a t ma n yoft h epe opl ea tt h e s ee v e n t sh a v eg r ownu p a l on gwi t hme ,a n dg on et h r ou g ht h ec h a n g e st h a t a r ee x pe c t e doft h e m.Wh e nt h e r ea r ee n ou g h pe opl et h e r et ot a l ka bou tt h e i rpa r t n e r sa n dt h e i r c h i l dr e n , f e we rqu e s t i on sa r ea s k e doft h er e s tofu s . I t ’ sl i k eac r i t i c a l ma s sofa v oi di n gt a l k i n ga bou t

t h ei s s u eof“ Wh ydoe s n ’ ts h eh a v eah u s ba n dy e t ? ” OnCh r i s t ma sEv et h e r ea r e n ’ ta n ype opl ewh o t h i n kI ’ mt h ek i n dt oe v e rwa n ton e , on l yt h os e wh oh a v eg i v e nu pe x pe c t i n gi t . OnCh r i s t ma sDa y t h e r ea r e , i de a l l y , t ooma n ype opl ef ort h et opi ct o c r os spe opl e ’ smi n ds . Wi l l I dodg et h a tbu l l e ta g a i nt h i sy e a r ?I don ’ tk n ow wh a tc r owdi sg oi n gt obet h e r e . I don ’ tk n owwh a t wi l l c omeu pi nc on v e r s a t i on . I ff a mi l yme mbe r s wa t c h e dt h i sl a t e s ts e a s onofBoJ a c kHor s e ma n , pe r h a pst h e ywi l l br i n gu pa s e x u a l i t ya si ft h e y ’ r et h e c u l t u r e de x pe r t sf r omwa t c h i n gon es h ow. S h ou l dI pr e pa r ef ort h a t ?S h ou l dI h a v eas pi e l r e a dy ?Wh e n t h ewi de l yde fi n e de x t e n de df a mi l yg e t st og e t h e r f ort h eod doc c a s i on , t h e r ewi l l a l wa y sbemor et a l k a n dmor equ e s t i on st h a nu s u a l . I t ’ sj u s tama t t e rof wh e t h e rmyl a c kofs ome t h i n gwi l l be c omemor e v i s i bl ea se a c hy e a rc ome s , orl e s s .

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Be i nga nAc eDur i ngt heHol i da y s b ys c a r l e t l a t i t u d e

e i n ga na c edu r i n gt h eh ol i da y sc a nbeabi t a wk wa r d. I l i v ea l on e , wi t hmyc a t s ( #c r a z y c a t l a dy ) , a n d99%oft h et i meI a m fi n ewi t ht h a te x i s t e n c e . I e v e npr e f e ri t . I wou l dl i k e t obea l on eov e rs pe n di n gt i mewi t hpe opl e . Wor k a n ds c h ooldr a i n smyi n t r ov e r tr e s e r v e s ,a n dbe i n g a l on ei st h eon l ywa yI c a nf e e l r e c h a r g e d. ome wh e r ewi t h i nmya c e n e s s ,Ia ma l s o De e ps s ome wh a tofar oma n t i c .Ik i n dofs wi t c hbe t we e n a r oma n t i ca n ds e mi k i n dof ma y ber oma n t i c .Th a t pl u sbe i n ga na c ec a n ma k efi n di n gar oma n t i c r e l a t i on s h i p di ffic u l t .How do y ou fi n da n ot h e r pe r s onwh oi sa s e x u a l a n dk i n dofr oma n t i c , bu ta l s o i n t r ov e r t e da n dr e s pe c t smyn e e dt obea l on e ?I ’ d h a v ebe t t e rl u c kfi n di n gal e pr e c h a u ni naHa r r y P ot t e rc os t u mer i di n gau n i c or ni nNa r n i a . Hol i da y sa r et h et i mewh e nt h e s et h i n g sg e ts t r a n g e . I t ’ sn otbe c a u s eofmyf a mi l y . Myf a mi l yu n de r s t a n ds t h a tIa m al on e r ,a n dt h a tIdon ’ tn e e da n ot h e r pe r s oni nmyl i f e . Th e ya r e n ’ tt r y i n gt opr e s s u r eme i n t oa n y t h i n g .We l l ,a tl e a s tt h a ta ppl i e st o my i mme di a t ef a mi l y .Mye x t e n de df a mi l yh a st r i e dt o s a yt h a tI n e e dt og i v emymot h e rg r a n dc h i l dr e n .

Ha .Ha h a h a h a .I fy ouk n e w mymot h e r ,y ouwou l d k n owh owl u di c r ou st h a ti s . No , wh yt h i sg e t ss t r a n g ef ormei sbe c a u s eofa l l of t h epe opl ewh odoh a v es i g n i fi c a n tot h e r s .Ime a n , l ook on F a c e book .How ma n y pe opl eh a v e s i g n i fi c a n tot h e r sa n dc h i l dr e n ,a n dh a v et opos t e v e r y45s e c on dst ot e l l u sh owwe l l t h e i rh ol i da yi s g oi n g ?Y e a h , y e a h , I k n owI s h ou l dn ’ tc ompa r emyl i f e t owh a tpe opl epos ton l i n e .Th ou g h ,s e e i n gt h a t k e smer e a l i z ewh a tIl a c ki nl i f e . Idon ’ th a v ea n y ma k i n d ofc l os epe r s on a lr e l a t i on s h i p( r oma n t i cor s e x u a l ) , bu tt h e ydo , a n di ts e e msl i k et h e yh a v es u c h ah a pp yl i f e . How c a nIba l a n c ewa n t i n gar oma n t i cr e l a t i on s h i p bu ta l s on otwa n t i n gt h a t ?Howc a nIh a n dl es e e i n g ot h e rpe opl edoi n gwh a tI wa n tt odo? Me h , wh ok n ows . I g u e s swea l l h a v et ofi n dou rown wa y st ode a lwi t ht h e s et h i n g s .Me ,I ’ mg oi n gt og o pl a ywi t hmyc a t sa n de a tf oodt h a tIk n ow Idon ’ t h a v et os h a r e . I fs ome on ec ome sa l on gt h a twa n t st o s h a r ei nt h a t ,g r e a t .I fn ot ,t h e nmyc a t swi l lc u d dl e wi t hmei n s t e a d.

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5 |Wi n t e r2017


Me mbe rHi g hl i g ht : Ga l a c t i cTur l e i n t e r v i e wb ys c a r l e t l a t i t u de Wh a tdoy oudodu r i n gt h i st i meoft h ey e a r ?An yh ol i da y sorc e l e br a t i on s ? Be t we e nTh a n k s g i v i n ga n dCh r i s t ma si sa l wa y sf u n . Myf a mi l yi sv e r yi n t ode c or a t i n ga n dc ook i n g . Th e r ea r ea l s oma n yh ol i da yc on c e r t sI h e l pou twi t ha r ou n dt h ec ommu n i t y t h a tI ' ml ook i n gf or wa r dt o . ey oue x c i t e df or2018?Wh y / wh yn ot ? Ar It h i n ks o! Ic ompl e t et h epr og r a mI ' m doi n gi nMa ys oa f t e rt h a tIh opet omov et oa n ot h e rc ompa n yt h a twi l l bet h eba s i sofmye x pe r i e n c e sf ort h er e s toft h ey e a r . I ' m a i mi n gt owor kwi t haba l l e tc ompa n y . Wh a ti sy ou rf a v or i t et h i n ga bou tAVEN? I t ' sn i c et h a tt h e r e ' sas pa c ewh e r ey ouc a nbeope na n dh on e s ta bou tl i t e r a l l ye v e r y t h i n g . I s a i dj u s tt h eot h e rda yt h a tAVENh a sbe e nt h es ou r c eofpr oba bl y80%ofmys e x e du c a t i on , i r on i c a l l ye n ou g h , be c a u s eou ti nt h ewor l dpe opl ea r ea l wa y sh u s hh u s ha bou twh a t ' sr e a l l yg oi n gonwi t hou rbodi e s . S oy e s . I ' mg l a dwec a nt a l ka bou tbodi e sa n d a l l t h eod dt h i n g st h e ydo . I nr e a l l i f e , wh a tdoy oudof orf u n ? I l i k et owr i t es c i ďŹ a n df a n t a s ys t or i e s . I ' ma l s oobs e s s e dwi t hK or e a npopmu s i cs o . . . t h a tt a k e su pal otoft i me . I fy ouc ou l dh a v ea n ype t , wh a twou l di tbe ? I h a dac a tg r owi n gu ps oI ' dl i k et oh a v eon ea g a i ne v e n t u a l l y . I fn otI ' dl i k et oh a v eat u r t l en a me dOpt i mu sPr i me ! Wh a tdoy ouwi s hpe opl ek n e wa bou ta s e x u a l i t y ? Hon e s t l yj u s tt h a ti te x i s t s . I t h i n ki twou l dbeg r e a tt oi n c l u dei na n ys c h ool ' ss e xe dpr og r a ms ot h a tk i dsc a nk n owt h a tbe i n ga s e x u a l i se v e napos s i bi l i t y . I fy ouh a da l l t h emon e yi nt h ewor l d, s ot h a ty oudi dn ' th a v et owor r ya bou twor korbi l l s , wh a twou l dy oudowi t hy ou rl i f e ? Hmm. . . wr i t emor es t or i e s ?I ' ds t i l l wa n tt oc on t i n u et h et y peofwor kI do . Mydr e a mi st ot ou rma n a g ea na r e n ac on c e r tt ou r . . . s ome da y . . . a n di fI h a da l l t h emon e yi nt h e wor l dI ' ddoi tf orf r e e !

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y our hol i da y s

Doy ouc e l e b r a t ea n yh ol i da y sdu r i n gt h i st i meoft h ey e a r ?

Y e s ! I c e l e b r a t eCh r i s t ma s ! I ti sav e r yi mp o r t a n th o l i d a yf o rmea saCa t h o l i c . I l o v et og ot ot h eHo l yMa s so n Ch r i s t ma sd a y . I a l s ol i k ewh e nmyf a mi l yc o me so v e ra n dweg i v ee a c ho t h e rg i f t s ! Anon y mous I u s e dt oc e l e b r a t ee v e r yh o l i d a y : Ch r i s t ma s , Ea s t e r , V a l e n t i n e ' sDa y , e v e r y t h i n g . Ho we v e r , s i n c emymo t h e rp a s s e d a wa yt h i sp a s tDe c e mb e r2016, I h a v es t o p p e dc e l e b r a t i n ge v e r y t h i n g , e v e nmyb i r t h d a y . I a mn o ts u r ei fI wi l l e v e r c e l e b r a t eh o l i d a y sa g a i n , b u ti t ' sv e r ys t r a n g eh a v i n gs omu c ht i mep a s swi t h o u th a v i n gp o i n t si nt i mel i k eh o l i d a y st o h e l pmer e me mb e rj u s th o wf a rwea r ei nt h ey e a r . Che l s e a I c e l e b r a t eHa l l o we e n , T h a n k s g i v i n g , a n dCh r i s t ma s . Anon y mous Ha l l o we e n( d e c o r a t i n g , n o tt r i c ko rt r e a t , we ' r et o oo l da n dh a v en ok i d sh e r e ) , f a mi l yb i r t h d a y s , d a ywea d o p t e do u r c a t , a n n i v e r s a r y , T e aDa y( i n s t e a do fT h a n k s g i v i n g ) , Na No Wr i Mo , S ma l l Bu s i n e s sS a t u r d a y , s e c u l a rCh r i s t ma s( t r e e , g i f t s , n oc h u r c h ) . Anon y mous Y e s , I c e l e b r a t eb o t hT h a n k s g i v i n ga n dCh r i s t ma s . Al t h o u g hI i d e n t i f ya sa t h e i s t , b o t hh o l i d a y sa r ea ni mp o r t a n tt i mef o r met ob ewi t hf a mi l ya n ds h a r el i f e l o n gt r a d i t i o n s . Ka t e

F orou rq u e s t i on soft h e mon t h , wea s k e dy out ot e l l u sa b ou ty ou rh ol i da ya dv e n t u r e s . Wea s k e d, y oua n s we r e d!

Ha l l o we e na n dT h a n k s g i v i n ga r eb i gf a v o r i t e so fmi n e . Wi t hHa l l o we e ni np a r t i c u l a r , i t ' si n t e r e s t i n gwh a tap e r s o nc a n l e a r na b o u tt h et y p eo fc o s t u mes o me o n ewe a r s , s i n c et h eu s u a l r e s t r i c t i o n so fwh a ti sa n di s n ' ta p p r o p r i a t et owe a r a r et h r o wno u tt h ewi n d o wf o rt h eh o l i d a y . I g u e s sI s e ei ta sa" l e ty o u rh a i rd o wn , g on u t s "h o l i d a y . I ' l l p r o b a b l ye n du p a taHa l l o we e np a r t ys o me wh e r e -t h a t ' sn o r ma l l yh o wI c e l e b r a t e , b u tI a l wa y sl e a v eab o wl o ff u l l s i z ec a n d yb a r s o u t s i d emyd o o rj u s ti nc a s es o mek i d st r yt ot r i c ko rt r e a t , a n do p t i mi s t i c a l l ya s s u meo n ep e r s o nwo n ' tt a k ea l l o f k s g i v i n gi sa l s oan i c eo n e . I d o n ' to f t e ng e tt ov i s i tt h ef o l k s , s oi t ' sag o o do p p o r t u n i t yt oc a t c hu p . I t ' sa t h e m. T h a n g o o dh o l i d a yf o rmet ok e e pp e r s p e c t i v et h a tI ' mh e a l t h y , I ' mwi t hf a mi l y , a n dI ' me a t i n gt u r k e y , s oo nt h ewh o l eI mu s t b ed o i n go k a y . I c a n ' tb e l i e v eI h a v e n ' tme n t i o n e dL e i fEr i k s o nDa y . Ho wc o u l dI h a v ef o r g o t t e n ? Anon y mous

7 |Wi n t e r2017


J u s tt h en o r ma l Ha l l o we e n , T h a n k s g i v i n g , Ch r i s t ma s . s c a r l e t l a t i t ude

Oc t o b e rh a sT h a n k s g i v i n ga n dDe c e mb e rh a sCh r i s t ma s / Ne wY e a r ' s S na oÇoñé

We l l , d ob i r t h d a y sc o u n t ?I fs o , I c e l e b r a t emi n ei nNo v e mb e r ! Ha h a ! Bu to t h e rt h a nt h a t , t h e r e ' s T h a n k s g i v i n ga n dCh r i s t ma s . Ex t e n d e df a mi l yl i v et o of a ra wa yt ov i s i t , s oi t ' sa l wa y sj u s tu s5( me , b r o t h e r s , p a r e n t s ) , wh i c hI l o v e . I ' mn o taf a no fb i gg a t h e r i n g so rp a r t i e s , s oi t ' sfi n ewi t hme ! k e l i c o Mo s t l yT h a n k s g i v i n ga n dCh r i s t ma s , b u tu s u a l l yo n l yb e c a u s eo ft h ed e l i c i o u sf o o d . a r g a r

Wh a ts e a s oni si twh e r ey oul i v e , a n dwh a tdoy oul i k et odot h i st i meoft h ey e a r ?

Wi n t e r ! I ti sv e r yc o l d . I l o v et og ot oT h eHo l yMa s sd u r i n gt h i st i meo fy e a r , a n dI a l s ol o v et os t a y i na n dd r i n kn i c ewa r mt e a ! Anon y mous F a l l a n dwi n t e r . I g ot ot h eP ARe nF a i r e , l i s t e nt oCe l t i ca n dCh r i s t ma smu s i c , wr i t ean o v e l , a n d d e c o r a t eaCh r i s t ma st r e e Anon y mous No r t h e r nh e mi s p h e r e . Mo s t l ywel o v et oh i b e r n a t ea n dwa t c ht h er a i n . I tr a r e l ys n o wsh e r eb u t t h a t ' sf u nwh e ni th a p p e n s . Anon y mous I t ' sF a l l a n dt h e nWi n t e r . I l o v et h e s es e a s o n s . . . I ' maf a no fc o o l we a t h e r , a swe l l a ss n o w. I mo s t l y e n j o ys t a y i n gi n , b u tI a l s ol o v et a k i n gmyc a me r ao u tt os e et h el o v e l yn a t u r e . I u s e dt og ob i r d i n g , e v e ni nt h es n o w. Ma y b eI ' l l d ot h a ta g a i n . k e l i c o I t ' swi n t e r , wi t hu s u a l l yl o t so fs n o wb yCh r i s t ma st i me . Wa t c h i n gd o g sp l a yi ns n o wi so n eo ft h e g r e a t e s tj o y sI h a v et h ep r i v i l e g eo fe x p e r i e n c i n g .

F a l l /wi n t e r . I l i k ek n i t t i n gy e a rr o u n db u td u r i n gt h i st i meo fy e a rI ma k emu c hc o z i e rt h i n g s . Anon y mous Cu r r e n t l y , i ti st h ee n do fs u mme r / e a r l ya u t u mn , a n dI e n j o yHa l l o we e n( t h eo n l y' h o l i d a y ' I e v e n e n j o ys e e i n gd u r i n gt h ey e a r ) , f a l l i n ga u t u mnl e a v e s , c o o l e rwe a t h e r , a n dt h ea b i l i t ywe a r s we a t s h i r t sa n db o o t sc o mf o r t a b l y . Che l s e a I t ' sc o mi n gu po nf a l l , b u ti t ' st h eAme r i c a nS o u t h , s oi ts t i l l f e e l sv e r ymu c hl i k es u mme r . S t i l l , I l i k e t og op u mp k i np i c k i n ga n do nh a y r i d e s , e v e ni fI a mwe a r i n gas h o r t s l e e v es h i r t ! Ka t e Au t u mn / Wi n t e r . I d o n ' tl i k ec o l dwe a t h e rs oI d oi n d o o ra c t i v i t i e s . I d ol i k et og ot oHa l l o we e nb a s e d a c t i v i t i e sl i k eh a u n t e dh o u s e s . s c a r l e t l a t i t ude

I t ' sf a l l a n dI d o n ' tl i k ea n y t h i n g . Wi s hBe a r

S na oÇoñé Wi n t e r2017|8


We ' r ea tt h el a s tf e wd a y so fs u mme r , s of a l l i sc l o s i n gi n . S o meo u t d o o r s ya c t i v i t i e sc a nb ef u ni n t h ef a l l -l i k er u n n i n gf o re x a mp l e-s i n c ei t ' sg e n e r a l l yn e i t h e rt o oh o tn o rt o oc o l dt oe n j o yt h e o u t s i d e . T h et r e e st a k eo nab r i l l i a n to r a n g e g o l d e nh u ewh i l el i t t l el e a v e sf a l l o nt h eg r o u n da sI r u n t h r o u g hn e i g h b o r h o o d s , s oI c a nu s et h a tp r e t t ys c e n et oi g n o r emyl u n g sf e e l i n go nt h ev e r g eo f d e a t h .

He r ei nt h eBr i t i s hCa mb r i d g eF e n si t ’ sr e c e n t l yt i p p e do v e rt omyf a v o u r i t es e a s o ne v e r-Au t u mn ! I l o v et h ed a r kn i g h t s , s c a t t e r e dr e d d i s h b r o wnl e a v e sa n dt h ep r o mi s eo ft h eh o l i d a y sa h e a d !

Anon y mous

Et e r n a l s u mme r . Wa n n as wi t c hwe a t h e r swi t hme ?: DCh r i s t ma ss h o p p i n g ' smo s t l yd o n eb e f o r e De c e mb e r , b u tc a nc h a n g e . At t e n dCh r i s t ma sp a r t i e su n d e rt h eo ffic e ' sn a mea n dt h r o wo u ro wn o ffic ep a r t y( u s u a l l yj u s te a t , h a n go u t , l i s t e nt oCh r i s t ma sa n dn o n Ch r i s t ma smu s i ca n dr e v e a l o u r S e c r e tS a n t a s ) . No c h eBu e n ao nt h e24t ha n dMe d i aNo c h eo nt h e31s twi t hb o t hf a mi l ya n d r e l a t i v e s .

F a l l a n ds of a r , y e s , i ti s n ' tt o oh o ta n di th a s n ' tg o t t e nt o oc o l dy e t . a r g a r

Thi nk Not Va ni l l a

k a r nz t e r

Howdoy oup l a nonc e l e b r a t i n gt h ee n dof2 0 1 7 ?

I d on o t . I wi l l b emo v i n gt os t a r tmyc l i n i c a l sa tt h eb e g i n n i n go f2018, s oI d on o th a v ea n yp l a n s t oc e l e b r a t et h ee n do ft h ey e a r . Che l s e a

P r o b a b l yr e a l l yq u i e t l ywi t hmyt wol i t t l eb o y s( a g e s2a n d6) . Ka t e

T h es a mewa yI a l wa y sd o . . . a si fi t ' sa n yo t h e rn i g h t ! I no t h e rwo r d s , I d on o t h i n gl o l . I ' v en e v e rb e e n b i go nNe wY e a r ' sc e l e b r a t i o n s . k e l i c o Qu i t eo f t e nf o rNe wY e a r ' sE v eI e n du pd o i n gn o t h i n g , b u ts i n c e2017h a sb e e nay e a ro fme t a k i n gal o to fa c t i o na n di n i t i a t i v ei nmyl i f e , I t h i n ki t ' smo r ea p p r o p r i a t et os p e n dmyt i meo u ti n t h ewo r l ds o me wh e r e . I wo u l d n ' twa n ti tt ob ea n y t h i n gh u g eo rf a n c y , ma y b ej u s to u tf o rd r i n k s wi t hf r i e n d s . S na oÇoñé Hmm, I wi l l p r o b a b l yg ot ob e de a r l y . a r g a r 9 |Wi n t e r2017

Ath o me , wa t c h i n ga n i me , wa t c h i n gac o n c e r to nT V , d r i n k i n gaf e wmu d s h a k e sa n de a t i n gma c a n dc h e e s eo rn u g g e t s . Anon y mous

No tt h ewa yt h ep e o p l ea tt h ep a r t yT o mCr u i s ea n dNi c o l eKi d ma ng ot oi nEy e sWi d eS h u t wo u l d . Wi s hBe a r

I nmyP J ; so nt h ec o u c h s c a r l e t l a t i t ude

No tt h a tb i go nNe wY e a r ’ s , a c t u a l l y . J u s ts e e msk i n do fa r b i t r a r y . No t h i n gd i ffe r e n tb e t we e nt h e v e r ye n do fDe c e mb e ra n dt h ev e r yb e g i n n i n go fJ a n u a r ye x c e p tf o rt h en u mb e rwep u tf o rt h e y e a r . Anon y mous S t a ya th o mea swe ' r ea l s oc e l e b r a t i n gmymo t h e r ' sb i r t h d a yo nNY E. Asl o n ga sI ' mc a l ma n dI d o n ' ts a ya n dd oa n y t h i n gt h a tc a nr u i nt h i n g sa n dh u r tmyf a mi l yd u r i n gt h a tt i me ; h o p e f u l l y , I ' l l b e o k a y . k a r nz t e r


Gu y1: Ni c ebi c y c l ema n . I si tn e w?Wh e r e ' dy oug e ti t ? Gu y2: Du de , t h ewe i r de s tt h i n g . I wa sj u s twa l k i n gdownt h es t r e e t a n dt h i sv e r ya t t r a c t i v ewoma nonabi k es t oppe di nf r on tofme , dr oppe dt h ebi k e , s t r i ppe dn a k e da n ds a i d: " T a k ewh a t e v e ry ouwa n t bi gboy " Gu y1: Goodc a l l . Th ec l ot h e spr oba bl ywou l dn ' th a v efi ty oua n y wa y .

Ia ma na s e x u a l .Ia m wor k i n gmywa yu pt oa nA+s e x u a l .I t ’ st h e h i g h e s tg r a des e x u a l t h e r ei s .

Wh a tdoy oug e twh e n2k i n g sa n d3a s e x u a l swa l ki n t oah ou s e ? AF u l l Hou s e .

Howc a ny out e l l a na s e x u a l de s i g n e das t r e e t ? Th e‘ don ote n t e r ’ s i g n sa ta l l i n t e r s e c t i on s .

Myc ompu t e ri sa s e x u a l , i th a sn os e xdr i v e

e s twea c e di t . I fs e x u a l i t ywa sat

Gu y1: I s h ou l dpr oba bl yt e l l y ou . . . I ' ma s e x u a l Gu y2: Ohr i g h t . . . Wh a tdoe st h e" A"s t a n df or ?

I s a wawoma ns t r i p . . . . I t h ou g h ts h ewa n t e das h owe r . i r l h a sbe e nwor r y i n ga n dwor r y i n ga n dfi n a l l ys h ebu i l dsu pt h e Ag n e r v et ot e l lh e rf r i e n dt h a ts h e ' sa s e x u a l .Th ef r i e n d,u n c e r t a i n wh a tt os a y , a s k s , " Ha v ey oube e nt h a twa yl on g ? "S h es a y s , " No , I ' m j u s tbu d di n g . "* Ba du mc h e e

a s ex y j ok es Us es o meo ft h e s et ob r e a ku p t h a ta wk wa r dh o l i d a ys i l e n c e . ; )

S t e pon e : S t i c ky ou rh a n du pt h e i rs l e e v e S t e pt wo: L ookt h e mde a di nt h ee y ea n ds a y‘ I tl ook sl i k ey ouh a v e a na c eu py ou rs l e e v e . ’ S t e pt h r e e : Di el a u g h i n ge v e ni ft h e ydon ’ tg e tt h ej ok e .

Wh a tdoy ouc a l l a na s e x u a l di g g i n gadi t c h ? AnAc ei nt h eh ol e !

Howma n ya s e x u a l sdoe si tt a k et os c r e wi nal i g h t bu l b? Ac t u a l l yt h e y ' dr e a l l yr a t h e rn ot

Wh ydi dt h ec h i c k e nc r os st h er oa d? T oe s c a pet h epe r s onwh oc a meu pt oz i ra n ds t a r t e dfl i r t i n g .

Wh a tdoy ouc a l l an on g a y / n ons t r a i g h ta s e x u a l ? Wh yc a l l t h e ma ta l l , t h e y ' r en otg on n ag oou tonada t ewi t hy ou !

S e x u a l i t ya ffe c t swh a tma l e swor r ya bou tmos tf orwh a t ’ sbe l ow t h e i rbe l t . S e x u a lg u y swor r ya bou tt h e i r" l e n g t h " .As e x u a lg u y sj u s twor r yi f t h e i rfl yi sz i ppe du p .

v eg ota na c eu pmys l e e v e . . . I ' Me !

S e n du sy ou ra s e x yj ok e sa t : h t t ps : / / g oo . g l / f or ms / Rg 4 v l Y6 XZ7 c 1 7 bNJ 3

Wi n t e r2017|10


openmi c F o re a c hA VENu e sr e l e a s eweo p e n t h efl o o rt oy o u rs u b mi s s i o n s . Th i si swh a ty o us e n t i nt h i st i me . . . TheTwe l v eDa y sofAc e ma s s u bmi t t e db yAn on y mou s Ont h efi r s tda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome An u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h es e c on dda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h et h i r dda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h ef ou r t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y !

11 |Wi n t e r2017

Ont h efi f t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y !

Ont h es i x t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h es e v e n t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s e n s u spol l s Twoc An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h ee i g h t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome Ei g h ts t a t u su pda t e s S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h en i n t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome Ni n eRa n domCh a t t e r s Ei g h ts t a t u su pda t e s S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y !

Ont h et e n t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome T e nl oc a l me e t u ps Ni n eRa n domCh a t t e r s Ei g h ts t a t u su pda t e s S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h ee l e v e n t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome EL EVENCAPS L OCKI ANS e nl oc a l me e t u ps T Ni n eRa n domCh a t t e r s Ei g h ts t a t u su pda t e s S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y ! Ont h et we l f t hda yofAc e ma s , AVENg a v et ome Twe l v eg i fr e a c t i on s EL EVENCAPS L OCKI ANS T e nl oc a l me e t u ps a t t e r s Ni n eRa n domCh Ei g h ts t a t u su pda t e s S e v e nl oc k e dt h r e a dc ool down s S i xn e wl a be l s F i v ebl a c kr i n g s ! F ou ry u mmyc a k e s Th r e ea c efl a g s Twoc e n s u spol l s An dan u dg ef orbe i n gt oos n a r k y !


T X Z K H I F Y X C FV R U F W H N SW S I P Y X XD V C D H A A D H A N U K K AH F U W

a s ex y puz z l e Hol i da ywor ds e a r c h

N L U N U M N E V E TN F I S N L F E K T H Z W N SY N JH K O D I C S V C A Y PT B W Y D W P R P IG T X A ER F D D S E L F S R T IM R PA K I R B E C A U H V S V RM PR R G R N M E M C H O L ID A Y S W Q F V D M H D U L O N RW I S J J H Q E B M Y Y E SG J I J G M M U R O E X A T C ID N R J Z L R H S X R O Z VG X A S A Q Z N N K G IO H U G M W I CHRI S TMAS F RI ENDS HANUKKAH NEWYEARS

DECEMBER GI F TS HOL I DAYS P ARTY

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Wi n t e r2017|12


cl a s s i f i eds Pi e c e sofAc eP odc a s t s u bmi t t e db yl i t t l e di b , Th e Re a l Mr Gr a ya n dDr e a mwa l k e r S t e v e Pi e c e sofAc ei sa podc a s tbr oa dc a s tl i v ev i a Y ou T u bee v e r yS u n da y7. 30GMT ,a n da v a i l a bl et o wa t c horl i s t e nt ov i ai T u n e s ,Re d di ta n dS t i t c h e r . AVEN u s e r sl i t t l e di b( Robi n ) ,Th e Re a l Mr Gr a y ( Th om)a n dDr e a mwa l k e r S t e v e( S t e v e )s t a r t e dt h e s h owi nJ u l y2015a n dh a v es i n c ef e a t u r e di n t e r v i e ws wi t hs wa n k i v y , Ma a pl ef r on t ma nS t e ph e nBr ou g h t on a n da r eon eda yh opi n gt oh a v eDa v i dJ a yi n v ol v e d.

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