Obstacle(s)

By Kayleigh Bordner

Obstacle(s). The dictionary defines an obstacle as “something that obstructs or hinders progress.” Every person in the history of the human race has had to overcome some form of obstacle in his or her life. It doesn’t matter when the obstacle is encountered or how big/small it is perceived to be; what matters is how each individual deals with them. The reason why I am putting so much emphasis on obstacles today is because when pursuing aviation as a career or hobby, there are plenty of them to encounter. When an individual begins showing an interest in aviation and starts asking around about it, they hear all of the encouraging sides of aviation. You hear how amazing aviation is, how much freedom you can gain, how it’s the career to get into right now because of the “pilot shortage,” and so on. But, what a lot of people don’t tell you about is the obstacles that you might encounter during your time in aviation. Now, this article isn’t written with the intent to scare anyone off, tell them that aviation is hard, or they shouldn’t get into it. It’s quite the opposite. I want to use my own personal struggles in aviation as an example to show up and coming aviation enthusiasts that yes, there will be tough spots, and there will even be times where you feel like quitting. However, when you overcome that obstacle it’s so rewarding. If you read my first article in the January 2018 edition of AviNation, then you already know my back story of how I began my aviation journey. If you didn’t read it…go find a copy!

So many people tell me that I have a charmed life, or that I am living the dream. I will admit that I have been very blessed throughout my life, but like everyone else I have had my fair share of struggles. There have been times where I have wanted to quit, or times when I have gotten so burnt out on aviation that I didn’t even want to look at an airplane. I can still remember my biggest struggle in aviation was when I was working on my Certified Flight Instructor (CFI) certificate. I had started that training when I was a junior at Indiana State University (during the summer of 2015) with so much focus and determination. But, somewhere along the line that focus started to slip away. A lot of people say that your junior year of college is the hardest because it’s your third year in school, and you’re so close to the finish but still so far. On top of my flight training, I was booked solid with

difficult classes that I needed to pass with high marks, so I could maintain my 3.9 GPA. I was working so hard to make sure that my studying wasn’t compromised by focusing solely on my CFI lesson plans. Trying to be 110% perfect at both was hard enough. To throw even more into the mix, I was having some personal relationship issues with two friends, one of which was a really close friend, that I was having to deal with. This person was extremely close to me, so it was hitting me pretty hard. With all of that bearing down on me, I started to fall apart; I was stressed beyond belief and started to hit my max. You could say I was just plain burnt out.

I noticed that I was having issues when I started to cancel flight lessons with my instructor. I didn’t want to go out to the airport, and I dreaded the thought of even showing up at the airport. It was so overwhelming. Here I was, someone who had so much passion for aviation (it had been my entire life for the past four years), and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I told myself it was just a phase, and I would be able to push through it. But, when I would go actually fly, I was messing up maneuvers. I couldn’t talk through what I was doing (and if any of you have your CFI, you know that’s pretty important). I was also tripping over my words constantly…to be quite frank, my flying was horrible. By the end of the flights, I just felt worse about myself and my skills than when I had started. My ground lessons weren’t going much better. I was falling behind on those too. Like I said, I was a mess. I considered quitting multiple times, but I knew that I would regret it if I did.

I ended up confessing to my instructor what was all going on, especially with my personal issues. He looked at me with a serious face, and he asked me, “Do you go to church?” It kind of caught me off guard a little bit. I am a Christian, but with everything going on in my life I hadn’t made time to go to church. He told me that maybe I should start going to church, and that I should pray about the issues that I was having with my friends. He also told me that I should really analyze my relationship with each one and go from there. He said that sometimes even if you want someone in your life, it’s not the best for either of you. That to me was really hard to grasp. Anyhow, fast forward a few weeks. I had started going to church again when I could, and I prayed a lot for God to give me guidance on the situation. I laid all of my worries on Him. My stress level was going down a bit, but my flying was still super discouraging. My lowest point was when my instructor and I went to a smaller airport close by in the Piper Arrow I was flying for my CFI training. It was surrounded by trees, a shorter airstrip than I was used to, but nothing that I couldn’t handle….or so I thought. There was a decent direct crosswind that day, but still….I should have been able to handle it. I came

in high, fast, and was trying so hard to land the plane, but couldn’t do it. I heard my instructor say go around, but I was so focused on trying to land that I was a couple seconds to slow. And, with the trees at the other end approaching, he took the plane. I was about in tears that day. I was crushed. Why couldn’t I land this airplane at that airport. That was the lowest point I had ever been in my aviation career. My confidence was crushed. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be a pilot; that I shouldn’t even be a pilot. I remember going home and just crying myself to sleep that night. I was ready to throw in the towel and “hang up my wings” for good. I prayed so hard at that point for guidance from God, and I called my dad for advice. He told me something along the lines of “Kiddo, you can’t let this stuff get to you. You know you can do it. You have to pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, and get back on the horse. Get all of the negativity out of your mind, and go at it with a fresh positive attitude.” That was the day I had my “CFI break.” Again, if any of you have been instructors or have gone through CFI training, you know that point where you can’t seem to do anything right. But, the next time you go fly, you nail everything!

I took my dad’s advice, and armed with Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”, my next flight was 100 times better than how I had been doing. That was a small sliver of hope for me, and things started to make a turn for the better. I was still stressed out about school, but what college student isn’t? I was making significant strides of improvement with my flying and instructing skills, my confidence was coming back, and the issues that I had with my friends were resolved for the meantime. I went on to take my CFI checkride in December 2015, and passed with flying colors. The joy that I experienced while shaking my examiner’s hand after he told me “Congratulations you’re an instructor now” will be one that I remember for years!

From that point on, I have always thought about what my instructor and my dad had said. I ran into such a huge obstacle in my aviation career, but through the help of others and God, I was able to get through

them. Each person runs into their own personal struggles during life. Whether it’s financial issues, health problems, learning at a slower pace, self confidence; the list can go on for pages of the different obstacles that we encounter in aviation and in life. What separates individuals from each other is how you handle what is thrown at you. Giving up and quitting is a choice that you could make, but do you really think you’re going to be happy being a quitter when you look back on that? Or, you can “pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get back on the horse.” Find your strength where you can; in religion, music, family, whatever helps you; use it to your advantage. Take a deep breath, maybe take some time off to unwind a little and analyze the situation, and figure out what you need to do to get back on the horse. Trust me, if I would have given up when I felt like it, I would have never gotten to where I am today. I probably would have given up on other dreams that I have. Once you allow yourself to give up once, I’m inclined to say that you will probably allow yourself to do it again. So, don’t! Be confident in yourself and your skills. Work hard to achieve your dreams, and above all else, don’t let anything get in your way.