I want to remember everyth
I want to dedicate this book to my parents, Ana and George, for all their support and love and lastly, but not the last, to my lover, James. Thank you for being part of my life.
Photography has already proved its power on the immediate effect performed on people through documenting and staging. Its input on conflicts, family issues and art is irrefutable, but its therapeutic effect is still questioned. A key aspect that has interested therapists and patients with memory problems or traumas over the past 30 years is if photography can be seen as a new treatment and to what extent it can establish and define memory. The aim of my master project is to challenge the power of photography on people with and without memory problems, while building new relationships between identity, fashion and memory. I intend to foreground the possibility of developing a new contribution to knowledge in the field of photography as a therapy, but also on fashion. In order to achieve this, I used photo elicitation methodology , documented Alzheimer’s disease using a person centred approach, conducting interviews with participants on their memories of photographs they have taken and lastly produced a body of work including an interpretation of their memories lying at its core.
I started this project as a way of coping with my grandmother’s dementia due to a stroke. I tried to find ways of solving the disease, but I ended up realizing that currently there is no solution, but only ways to make it better. My first step was volunteering to be a dementia adviser at Alzheimer’s Sociey, where I improved my knowledge of the disease and also worked with people living with Alzheimer’s. Over 6 months I established relationships with some of these people and introduced my ideas for the project to a wider audience in the form of a presentation at dementia “cafes”. I soon realized that my project would be most appropriate to people in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. I came to the conclusion this is something I would like to pursue long-term and decided to set up an organisation with my partner, where we are offering therapeutic workshops, one of the activities being photography. This project sows the seeds from which I hope the organisation can grow. The process I used is as follows: Firstly, I handed out disposable cameras at dementia cafes and to people who had agreed to take part in the project and I asked them to take photographs of personal items of clothing and objects that have memories attached to them. In the second stage we discussed their photos, which I recorded. The last stage consisted of reconstructing 8 different memories that were never photographed, resulting in a video with my interpretation of the moment they described. I explained further after every memory that I chose to reconstruct the whole process, including details about their symbolism and the equipment used.
Tony
Photo no. 1: Florence
The first one is a jacket which I bought in Florence, which is my favorite city to visit because of the art and sculpture. I bought the jacket when I was there and every time I wear it I think of Florence.
Photo no. 2: Thames Reach
This is a suit that I usually wear when I go to the board of a charity that I am involved with, called Thames Reach, which deals with homelessness in London. It’s quite a smart suit, not a work suit, it’s a smart casual suit, which seems to me it’s my approach to that charity.I do it because I enjoy it, I do it for fun, but also because I am committed to the work of the charity.
Photo no. 3: Funeral
This is another suit, this is a dark suit that I wear when I go to funerals and every time I look at it makes me think of the last funeral I went to, but also more importantly, funerals that I recall,one is of my sister’s, who sadly died and another was a brother in law of mine, who died and I was very fond of them both and when I look at this suit I think of them and I wonder when is the next time I will wear it and for whom.
Photo no. 4: Work suit
This is a suit that reminds me of going to work, because for many years, every morning I got up, put on a suit, got to work so I have kept one of my suits to remind me of the daily grind of doing that. It has good memories and bad memories. I liked my job, I enjoyed what I did, but I always had to be smartly dressed, therefore I had to wear a suit and tie every day.
Photo no. 5: Birthday suit
This suit I bought specifically for my daughter’s 18th birthday party. It was an important event in her life and indeed in my life, she is my youngest daughter and I have very happy memories of the evening and of everyone who was there. When I look at this suit, I think of that evening.
I would like my reconstructed memory to be of my gardening jacket, which I always wear when it is very cold in the garden, either in the autumn, when I’m tyding up the garden or in the spring time when the garden is just begining to burst into life again.
I remember the different gardens that I have had in my life, big gardens and small gardens, I also think of what I was trying to do in those gardens, what I was trying to cultivate, so everytime I put on that jacket I think: “Aaah, gardening time�.
Action: Watering The Flowers Characters: An Older Man
ITEM OF CLOTHING: Gardening Jacket LIGHTS: 2 IKAN LIGHTS ON LOCATION, CAMERA: 7D AT 60 FPS SO I CAN LATER APPLY TWIXTOR EDITING: AFTER EFFECTS AND ADOBE PREMIERE I WANT TO FILM EVERYTHING AT NIGHT. AS ALL THESE ARE MEMORIES THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN REPRODUCED BEFORE, IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME BEFORE THEY TRANSCEND THE SUBCONCIOUS, BEFORE THEY DECIDE TO TAKE PART OF THE REAL WORLD. UNTIL THEN, THESE MEMORIES ARE IN BETWEEN. DARKNESS SYMBOLISES THE SUBCONSCIOUS VOICE OVER OF THE REAL PERSON RECORDING OF JUPITER FROM SPACE
A man is watering his flowers in the middle of the night. He is not scared of being on his own. Darkness is an old friend. This is not about yin & yang, but about going back in time and meeting himself before the memory fades away.
Judy&Jack
Photo no. 1: Lacoste shirt
I have got memories of Spain. We used to go on holiday there and I purchased several Lacoste shirts whilst over there. Unfortunately, the quality is not as good as it used to be.
Photo no. 2: My Ray-Bans
My Ray-Bans go everywhere with me, I’ve got them for many years, but these are relatively new. They are two years old, I wear them even when it’s not sunny.
I would like my reconstructed memory to be of my lovely lovely lovely leather jacket bought for me by my youngest daughter and I praise it greatly. The jacket has been in my posession for 15 years now and it will always be in my posession anyway. I remember when I went to see football for the first time for 45 years and I went with a friend from school. It would be nice to be able to record that.
Photo no. 1: Pearls
I am collectioning clothes from vintage shops, but also jewellery.
Photo no. 2: Earrings
These earrings were given to be my husband Jack when we were first going together in the late 50s.
Photo no. 3: Locket
This is a locket which belonged to my husband’s mother, which came down to me.
Photo no. 4: Two piece
This is a two piece that I like very much which I wear together with some creamy colored shoes and a bag to match which I wore last year.
Photo no. 5: Navy bag
This is a navy bag with two handles and a little flap fastener which was my mother’s and I can remember her being very smart, going to work and using this bag an awful lot in the 40s and early 50s.
Photo no.6: Birthday card
This is my husband’s very first birthday card from his father and as he is 80, it is a very precious piece of paperwork.
Photo no. 7: Love letter
This is a letter from me to my husband when he was in the Forces and that dates back to 1957.
Photo no. 8: Horse brooch
Going back to the photographs of jewellery, in there was a little brooch of a horse, a jockey on a horse. This brings back memories of my parents going to Epson horse race, in Surrey. My mother always used to wear that once she got it, with a race form card. I can remember that like yesterday. I would like this memory to be reconstructed.
Mildred
Photo no. 1: Paraffin heater
We used it all through the 70s until the electric one came up. I had three of them. A lot of people had children and left them at home with the paraffin heater on, they didn’t understand how dangerous it is. Every day the fire brigade came in, this lady just left to work by the time she came back from work her little boy died. We couldn’t afford to get the electric one. The smell was horrible. I still have it, but I don’t use it anymore.
Photo no. 2: Teddy bear
I got it from Dawn, my daughter, when I was in the hospital for one year. The doctors made me better, and the teddybear stayed with me for all this time, until I got better. I move it around the house quite a lot, expecting it to talk, but he doesn’t talk. Sometimes I place it on huge chairs.
Photo no. 3: Trunk
This man right at the corner made these trunks, everyone was rushing to buy trunks from him. I liked it because it was big and safe, because nobody could get at it without the key. I bought it in the 1981, it was 40 pounds. Like many Jamaicans, I thought I’m going to make money in England and that in two or three years I’m going to go back home.
I would like the reconstructed memory to be of my shoes. These kind of shoes were so fashionable at that time. I went at Hazel Farm in the 70s with my daughter’s school. All the kids were excited looking around at animals, they thought they were great. I tripped on a hill and fell, wearing these shoes.
I shouldn’t have worn them, but I didn’t think that way. I have it upstairs now, there’s still mud on them. I was into platform shoes, but this pair is the one I never forgot. People always described me as the woman with the platform shoes.
Action: Falling off a hill Characters: A woman A fox came at our feet at stayed in the shot ITEM OF CLOTHING: PLATFORM SHOE I WANT TO FILM AT A LOW ANGLE. LIGHTS: 2 IKAN LIGHTS ON LOCATION, CAMERA: 7D AT 60 FPS SO I CAN LATER APPLY TWIXTOR EDITING: AFTER EFFECTS AND ADOBE PREMIERE
A woman is wearing her high heel shoes during a visit to a farm. A fox is looking for food. She hears the children in the distance laughing, as if they knew she is going to fall.
Debbie
Photo no. 1: Green jacket with a fur collar
The reason why I chose this is because it reminds me of good times that I had, but also of my nan. This is the style of clothing she used to wear.
Photo no. 2: Sunglasses
I bought them at Boots Sale because I absolutely love them and they remind me of the ones I had in the 80s. Everyone just borrows them and doesn’t want to give them back to me. Some people even tried to steal them, including my son and my sister.
Photo no.3 : Silver bangles
I always wear silver bangles, but these three I never take off. They are bought for me by my children. Three silver bangles, three boys.
Photo no. 4: Black Birckenstocks
They just remind me of festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals, festival, festivals, festivals, festivals.
Photo no. 5: The blue & black dress
It reminds me of summer, of when the boys were younger, me being at festivals, London football and of the good times.
Photo no. 6: Black top with white collar
This is fairly a new top, I wear it all the time, it goes with anything. It reminds me of one that I had when I was younger. Oh, and people always compliment me on it.
Photo no. 7: My Ray-Bans
These were bought for me by a very close friend of mine after her boyfriend died. She knew I always wanted them and it was her way of saying “thank you for being there for me�.
Photo no. 8: Black jeans
Black jeans have pretty much been my uniform since I was 15. I still wear exactly the same kind of style.
Photo no. 9: A shelf of shoes
The reason why I took this picture was because up until recently I only had one pair of shoes for the summer, one pair for the winter and one pair of boots, but now I can buy shoes when I want them, even if I don’t actually need them or even if I’ll never wear them.
Photo no. 10: Silk Paisley scarf
I have bought Paisley scarves for all my children at various times, especially on Christmas and we all still wear them.
Photo no. 11: Stripy pijama top
The reason I put this in is because it still smells like the holiday that the boys took me on for my 50th birthday. Everytime I put it on, it reminds me of that holiday when I had such a fantastic time in Amsterdam.
Photo no. 12: James’ first jean jacket
This is worn by the other two sons of mine after James grew up. When he was little, James wore this jacket from 18 months until he was about 5. We had them in every size up until that point. He used to say: “Please don’t ever throw it away”. And I never have.
Photo no.13: Little baby grow
I brought all my boys from the hospital in this grow. On James it was absolutely huge, it fell off him, but on the other two it was much bigger. It is obviously very sentimental for me.
Photo no. 14: Chelsea Shirt
Much of my family life has been governed by football and Chelsea until the boys left home. We had every kit ever produced by Chelsea and this is probably the only one remaining that I have got here.
I would like my reconstructed memory to be of my Wellington boots. They remind me of dancing in the mud at Glastonbury. Music has always been very important to me, I have always enjoyed going to festivals. First time I ever went to Glastonbury we took my eldest son, he was only 2 at that time. We all loved it and I’ve been back many times since. My sister and I go now every year, we’ve done the Oxfam thing, we still do sometimes, but at the moment we couldn’t be lucky enough to get the VIP tickets. VIPs or not, you still need your Wellies.
It’s an important memory for me because it is something to look forward to, it is me and my sister’s time together and it is a way of being in contact with everyone else. You get new memories every year, so it is very special to me, I look forward to it all year. When you think of Glastonbury, you think of mud, so you need boots for the mud. Over the years, I had many pairs of boots and I have learned painfully to wear a pair that is way too big. Doesn’t matter what they look like, pretty soon everyone else’s will be muddy as well, so they all going to be exactly the same. I have got many happy memories from Glastonbury and most Glastonburies we have been to have been muddy, so muddy equals memories and in this case, good memories.
James
Photo no.1 : Red plastic pig
Me and my friends have been out drinking on Carnaby Street. We had a great night, but didn’t want it to end, so one of my friends suggested we went at the boutique he worked at. We had a great time there, laughing and partying until the small hours. I woke up next morning with the red pig on my table. I smiled because I knew where it came from. Sadly, my friend lost his job because of our party, but now he even looks back on it fondly and laughs at the evening. It was a good night and the pig will always remind me of it.
Photo no. 2: Grey suit
I bought this suit for a job interview I had. I’d always had a fairly good record of going to interviews and then getting the job and I thought the suit will seal the deal, but alas, this is the only suit that I have worn at an interview that I didn’t get the job to. I’ve worn it on other occasions, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear it to an interview again.
Photo no. 3: Silver bangle
I bought this bangle on a holiday with my girlfriend, it was our first holiday together, we went to Morrocco. The Morroccans have a very hard way of selling, which I find quite disconcerting, but it’s actually the holiday on that I became used to it. I saw this bangle and stood firm on my price and got it and worn it every day ever since and it will always remind me of my first holiday with my girlfriend.
Photo no. 4 : Accustic guitar
I bought this guitar around ten years ago, I have composed hundreds of songs on it and it has even more memories attached to it. The one that i would like to recall is the first ever gig I played, which was a show with my father. We learnt about five or six songs and got up about 15 or 20 people and played them together. It will always stick in my memory.
Photo no. 5 : Red base guitar
I had to buy this guitar in a real rush. I was playing in a band at that time and the base guitar I had before died on the eve of a big gig. I remember running up to Denmark Street and on Tottenham Court Road through a busy street, dodging people, trying to get there, because time was ticking and I really needed a guitar for that evening, couldn’t find anyone to lend me one, so I had to buy one. I stretched my credit card and bought this. I played many shows with it since and it has always been a trustworthy companion.
Photo no. 6: Black leather jacket
I bought this jacket in Saint Leonard’s on Sea, which is close to my art college. I bought it for 4 pounds which was a steal even then. It’s got loads and loads of memories attached to it, but for me it was a social armour, an identity. It helped me understand who I was, which I know sounds silly, but at that age you still try to work out who you are, what you want to do with life. Ive got many great nights in it, too many to mention.
Photo no. 7: Replacement hat
I had lost a hat at a gig that I went to because we pushed to the front and we must have pissed somebody off, because they took the hat off my head from behind and they threw it into the crowd and I never saw it again. We were playing a big gig with one of my heroes and I always wore a hat when I played in the band, so I wanted to get a replacement. I went into Camden, at a market stall where I knew a guy and he sold me this hat. I went at the show after and got to meet my hero. He sat there playing guitar, I was sitting there listening.Two behated men, smiling.
Photo no. 8: Black&White stripped trousers
These trousers remind me of last summer. I went a little off the rail and I realized I was partying too hard. These trousers remind me of the people I was hanging out with then and also the decadence that we pursued then. I had a lot of great nights, but I used to wear them to a night called “The cave club”, which played a 60’s music and it reminds me of hanging out with my friends and twisting the night away.
Photo no. 9: Black buckled boots
In a rehearsal room, you meet people’s gazes occasionally, but when the band is really starting to go, you try to keep rhythm, keep time, make sure you’re playing right, so you tend to be looking down at what your fingers are doing. I always remember looking past my base to my feet and they would be tapping away in these black boots.
Photo no.9: Jumper
I bought this jumper from a charity shop, it cost me 50 p, I was made up with it, it was a bargain. I was very inspired by a band I loved at that time and it was very in keeping with what they were wearing. Again, it kind of reminds me of my youth in art college, hanging out with my friend who now has moved to Australia. We spent three years studying there and just growing up together and I think it symbolizes that for me.
I would like my reconstructed memory to be of my leopard skins coat. I think it was my 24th birthday party with my friends, but a lot of them had made their way home and those who remained were asleep. I couldn’t sleep, so at about 4 o’clock in the morning I decided to walk alone down to the sea front. I remember seeing the blinking light house in the distance and it was quite a windy night.
The wind was blowing the tales of my coat behind me as I walked, the stones were crunching under my feet. I made my way to the shoreline and stood there, watching the lighthouse intesively. The waves were lapping at the shoreline, where I was standing, and all of a sudden out of nowhere this big wave came and I bolted for the promenade. I just wish I would have been able to see my face then.
Action: The waves crashing Characters: A man
ITEM OF CLOTHING: Leopard Skin Coat LIGHTS: 2 IKAN LIGHTS ON LOCATION, CAMERA: 7D AT 60 FPS SO I CAN LATER APPLY TWIXTOR EDITING: AFTER EFFECTS AND ADOBE PREMIERE
A man looks to the sea. The sea returns his gaze, waves crashing and gurgling, urging him to run. He stays.
Jack
Photo no. 1: Saint Cristopher
This is one of those memories that always helds back to my 18th birthday when I was first given my Saint Cristopher by my mum. It’s something she doesn’t believe in, being not very religious, but it’s her way of looking after me, after her baby boy, as I’m going to manhood. All it ever reminds me of is her smile and willingness to believe in me and to make sure that I’d take care of myself.
Photo no. 2: Ray-Bans
Excluding the memories of summer and days on Brighton beach and generally trying to look cool when I probably wasn’t, all Ray Bans remind me, probably every member of my family, of my grandad, who, still, at the age of 80, has the biggest quiff you’ll ever see, Ray Bans, and will not be told otherwise. He’s an honorable person with a slightly dishonorable look.
Photo no. 3: Automatic frame
The photo automatic frame takes me back to being in Berlin, where I spent most of my time complaining about it being cold, drinking beer and plotting on how to ask my girlfriend to marry me. It was the perfect combination of exciting and terrifying.
Photo no. 4: High fidelity poster
Apart from connecting with the book on a personal level, unfound genius working in a dead end job, it also gave me the drive to pursue my dreams, to be a writer and to be a loving member of my family.
Photo no. 5: Punk book
After my dad left when I was 13, I developed a strong male influence, so I naturally tried to rebel. Say “tried”, because my mum not only embraced my love of punk music, but was also better at it then me. I’ll never forget “ I went on tour with the Clash, but you don’t want to know about that”. You’re right, I don’t.
Photo no. 6: Polaroid
Polaroid. My first kiss. Not my first kiss, but my first kiss with my fiance. This instantly takes me back to the first day of my university, where I met this girl who said she’d kiss me for a picture. Seven years later and we’re engaged, and I’m still blissfully happy as I am in the picture.
Photo no. 7: DVD
This film is the perfect way to make me and my brothers feel like six years old again. Its emotive music and karmic messages are the symbol of my dad and the unity me and my brothers share.
Photo no. 8: T-shirt
This takes me back to my early teens, discovering my style, my music and my personality. Turns out it’s the same as my brother’s, as is the t-shirt and every day I’m truly grateful for that.
Photo no. 9: Bottle opener
Bottle opener. This was the first thing I bought for my fiance and I in our first house, our own house, not student accomodation or sofa bed, but our own genuine adult house. It still evokes the multitude of emotions that are within, namely love, vulnerability, terrifying nature and happiness.
Engagement ring. I proposed to my best friend in Paris and I’ve since relishing the thought of “forever”, but with all that happiness from that ring, the ring also represents a sad moment. My mum was left this ring by a member of my dad’s family to save her, should she need it, from destitution. She would never be a destitute, but never rich enough to help economically, so the eletion in her face and voice when I asked if there’s a family ring I could use will stay with me forever, as will my Katie.
I would like the reconstructed image to be of my leather jacket. I bought this in a dodgy vintage shop in Leeds in my second week of university. I moved from a very small town in south of England up to Leeds. It was a big thing, I’ve never seen Leeds before, I’ve never been there before, but I just wanted to get out of my home town and go out and be me, which is very cliche, but I wanted to do that.
When I walked in the shop, there were piles and piles of horrible clothing, but this jacket stood out a bit like an icon, like a religious icon to me. For me, it was a symbol of everything that I wanted to be now and every person I wanted to be now. It was a moment for me when it became a uniform, it became a way of getting away from the people in my hometown who were too small minded and wouldn’t accept that kind of thing.
Athena
Photo no. 1: Monastery
The first photo is of a religious diary and I got it from a monastery in Cyprus. It reminds me of that place, I have a really good relationship with the monks there, we used to visit it with my family since we were kids.
Photo no. 2: Flower canvas
Picture number two is of a fabric which I bought in Shepherd’s Bush. I already had the canvas and I was trying to do something creative with it, so I just put the fabric. In my previous home I used to have the flower canvas on the ceiling, so whenever I was lying in bed I was looking at the flower canvas and it made me feel happier, because I like nature and whatever is linked to nature makes me feel in general happy.
Photo no.3: Birthday
The beige skirt doesn’t fit me anymore, I used to wear it two years ago, when I was size 8, now I am size 12. It reminds me of how my body transformed since I came here to London, but I still have the same style and I still feel the same about my body, even if it changed. I love my curves and this type of skirt suits me. The black and white skirt I wore on my birthday this year, which I celebrated in London. It reminds me of how special it was.
Photo no. 4: God
Different religious icons and the bible, they all remind me of my religion and of the fact that I am religious. Whenever I have any problems in life, I turn to God. I use my icons to pray and the bible to get inspired and strength. My dad is a priest, the blue thing is worn by priests on their arms, it represents the power that is given to priests. He is my idol in life.
Photo no. 5: Cropped top
Since I came to London, I discovered I like cropped tops, and that they suit my body. It was the first time I went to a gay bar and the first time when I was wearing this top. I felt really confident, but I knew that even if I am confident, no one would notice me there. It was weird.
Photo no. 6: Black top with flowers
We had to take a self portrait for my university and I wanted to wear something that I liked, so I took the photo outside in nature, I had as a background a green tree. The pattern of the top really fitted with the cherries on the tree. I love combining it with a red lipstick. It always reminds me of the first photo I had to take for my university.
Photo no. 7: High waisted shorts
Sometimes it’s really hard for me to find something that fits me and looks good on me in the same time. When I went in this sports shop, I found these shorts and they really fitted me, they are high waisted as well. I was really happy when I took a look in the mirror. I bought them and I worn them a lot during the summer. They scream summer.
Photo no. 8: Polaroid photos.
These have been taken by my friend on my birthday. It was one of the happiest days I had in London. I just invited my friends, I dressed up nicely, ordered some pizza and they brought cakes to surprise me. Then we went out and I met a special person as well, that made my day even better and my memories even happier.
I was invited by a guy I liked over his place and I brought with me my bra. I always wear this bra when I sleep, because it always feel so comfortable and relaxing. At that moment , just lying on the bed with him, it felt relaxed and secure.
I’m still wondering if it was because of the bra or because of the guy. That was a moment no one took a picture of.
Emanuel
Photo no. 1: Tapestry
Tapestry made after Leondardo’s DaVinci’s Madonna and son. My mother used to do a lot of tapestry when she was back home in Romania, but since she came in London she stopped doing that. I kept one of them to remind me of that. I live in the same room with my mother.
Photo no. 2: Folcloric costume
It reminds me of a folcloric costume that my grandmother used to wear, but the thing is I never ever knew my grandmother, she died before I was borned. I only have a photograph of her wearing that costume. I wish I would have known her.
Photo no. 3: Gloves
My first job when I went to London was as a labourer, so every week I changed a pair of gloves. I finished my BA in Photography and film in Romania, so working as a labourer was never part of my plan and I still believe it is unfair, bearing in mind my qualifications. When I see gloves now, I think of my first job.
Photo no. 4: Rubber ball
When I was a kid, I used to have a volleyball. Me and other kids used to play with it every single day. The most interesting fact is that the ball did not break, it was the only one in the neighbourhood that survived. It reminds me of the nights when I was going out after an important game, face painted. We used to re enact matches of football and we all wanted to become football players when we grow up. That never happened.
I would like the reconstructed moment to be of me wearing my pijamas at night, smoking a cigarette and looking at a full moon. For some reason, the light of the moon was so powerful that it casted a shadow behind me.
Everything was so clear and it looked like the moon was getting bigger and bigger and in the same time I was feeling smaller and smaller.
Action: Smoking a ciggarette and looking at a full moon Characters: A man
ITEM OF CLOTHING: Pijamas I WANT TO FILM AT A LOW ANGLE. LIGHTS: 2 IKAN LIGHTS ON LOCATION, CAMERA: 7D AT 60 FPS SO I CAN LATER APPLY TWIXTOR EDITING: AFTER EFFECTS AND ADOBE PREMIERE
A man inhales deeply, the smoke of the ciggarette burns on his lungs. The moon is so big and so bright. He could almost touch it.
Praneti
Photo no. 1: Marriage dress
My sister designed this dress for me, I wore it to one of my closest friends wedding, she happened to be one of the first ones to get married, and that was the only wedding I got to attend before I left the country, so it is a very fond memory of mine wearing this dress.
Photo no. 2: Colored coral scarf
My mum, my sister and my best friend had gone to a trip on a neighbouring state in India, and they brought back this scarf for me, because they knew how much I love scarves and they thought it matches with my personality. The scarf has protected me from the Indian summers and from the British winters. It always makes my day and I keep it with me when I’m not feeling that great.
Photo no. 3: Disney
This was my first article of clothing from Disney and I have always been a fan of Mickey Mouse, he’s been my favorite cartoon character. My first toy was a Mickey Mouse toy that my father has bought for me, so it is really special for me.
Photo no. 4: Kurta
I bought this kurta for my first interview and during this interview I realized how confident I am and how good my work is. I got a really good feedback as well. I still have it, even if I don’t fit into it, because it reminds me of that interview.
Photo no. 5: Pretty dress
When I tried it in the fitting room, I realized I looked pretty. I don’t consider myself being a pretty person, so it was a funny realization. It is very special to me and i’d better wear it as often as I can, before my sister takes it away from me. She borrows all my clothes and she mentioned she liked this one especially.
Photo no. 6: Portobello
I bought this from Portobello Market and I wore it to my first date ever, which was pretty recent. It is very special to me for obvious reasons and I am probably blushing now.
Photo no. 7: First flight
I was wearing this top when I was traveling to London, it is a reminder of the trip I took on my own, and it’s always a reminder of the person who I was when I landed in London and who I have become now.
Photo no. 8: White kurta
The white kurta is the first article of clothing I bought from my own salary for myself. I always wanted to buy one like this, but they are pretty expensive, so I could never really afford them. I didn’t want to spend my parents money, but since it was my money, I didn’t feel that guilty.
Photo no. 9: First t-shirt
I bought this when I came to London, it was one of the first things that I bought from here. While I was talking to my parents through google hangouts, my dad complimented me. He said it was nice and asked if it was new. I was really surprised, because my dad never notices anything new that even my mum buys, so forget me and my sister.
I was chilling with my really good friends from college. We moved to different cities and it was the first time we had a night out at my place since then, and we were sitting in the living room, with our legs up on the table, watching some random movie that we weren’t quite watching,kept talking about college days and what we are doing in life now, boys and friends and family and marriage preassures that our parents have projected.
My friend asked me to wear this t-shirt, because it was very cosy. It reminds me of her and of that great day we had together.
Paulina
Photo no. 1: Towel
This towel is older than me, it was always in my life, it was first hanging in the bathroom and I remember when I was 3 or 4 when my parents where bathing me they were always putting it on the washing machine, sitting me on the towel and drying me out. It’s very fond memories, of my childhood. This towel is still with me and I’m going to keep it until the end of my life.
Photo no. 2: Belt
This belt is quite old, I’ve got a sister, she is 6 years older than me and for some reason I was jealous of the things she did and I always wanted to do things her way , but I stopped myself fom doing it. It was her belt since she was in highschool and I always loved it and wanted to have it. Few years after, I managed to get hold of it, that was 15 years ago. I still have it and every time I put it on I remember of my sister and of the feeling of jealousy.
Photo no.3: Bracelet
This is reminding me of more objects. My friends travel a lot around the world and every single timethey go somewhere they bring me something. I remember when I got it, it was a feeling of belonging somewhere. They buy for themselves similar things, which proves that we belong together and that we are like a family.
Photo no. 4: Jaba
This belongs to my exboyfriend, with whom I was 11 years. His nickname was frog or jaba in polish. I think it came from his eyes, I never really understood why exactly. His friends were always bringing him a frog from their trips. I think this money box he got from work, when he was leaving. Every time I look at the frog I remember him and the good time we had together, we grew up together and we changed together. I don’t want to give the frog back.
Photo no. 5: The hat
Being 32, I decided to go wild, to start partying, at least for a little while, because as I child I was staying at home, reading books, and my mum was always trying to get me out of the house, to meet new people. When I started partying, I bought the hat and for some reason, the whole summer, which was the wildest summer in my whole life, I had it on at every event I was attending. If I lost the hat, I lost my mojo. Everyone looks good in this hat. My nephew tried it on and he decided to buy the same model. In the end, I bought it for his birthday and he was over the moon. Every time I put it on, my wild side gets activated.
Photo no. 6: Trousers
I bought them when I was 16 I still have them, just to remind you, I’m 35.I hate shopping, I went with my cousin, he knows my taste, he knows me well. He knew as well how I hate shopping, so he said, “just stay there and I am going to pick something for you.”. He picked this pair and I am so grateful for that. Every time I look at them, I remember of him. The trousers are very very funky and give me a lot of joy that I can still fit in them. I do keep old things like that, 10 years old or more older than that . Every time you wear something like this, it’s like you wear a memory, I instantly become this highschool girl. I always wanted to be funky, I am funky now, maybe because of the trousers.
Photo no. 7: Gothic dress
I always wanted to be alternative gothic, so I went to Camden Town and bought this one. Last summer, me and my friends were going to a rock voodoo party and we went to Camden first. We sat somewhere next to the canal, we were drinking and listening to music and having fun. I think it was 15 of us, making horrible noises, mess and drinking. There was a photographer who stopped and asked if he can take pictures of us, so me and my gothic dress and my friend with a wig and the horns and gloves without fingers and leather trousers and jacket, trying to stand up and still be able to pose to the picture. It was a lot of fun, but the guy never sent us the photos, even if I gave him my email address.
Photo no. 8: Grown up dress
When I finished marketing and management in Poland, I couldn’t find any job related to my studies, so I worked in a shop, selling horrible clothes to posh women. I had to look nice, so we could buy clothes from there with a discount. This dress is my first grown up clothing, it’s like a tunic. I remember the first time I wore it, I felt so old and weird. In the beginning I didn’t like it, because I felt old in my head. I’m 35 now, I still feel 16 and I don’t think I will ever grow old. Wearing clothes like this makes me feel more mature, but sometimes you need to look like this when you go to interviews or special occasions. I grew fond of this dress, now I like it, I feel like a summer lady, although it’s black. The feeling changed completely.
Photo no. 9: Wind suit trousers
My friend told me they are like wind suit, you put them on and you can fly, like Jeb Corling. I bought them a few years ago. Whenever I put them on, I feel free. They intensify the feeling of freedom, I love going to dance with them. Every time I put them on, I do something crazy. Last time it was a summer party at my work, I was supposed to behave like a reasonable person, especially that I am an accountant. One guy was leaving at that time and he loved Super Heroes and he brought a cape, so I put his cape on and the wind suits. I started running and singing “I believe I can fly”. I have to be careful, if I go to the office it’s better to wear something else, because I have to behave.
Photo no.10: Lucky top
I realized recently, going through my pictures from different parties, that I have this weird habit of showing my boobs. Not completely showing them, but exposing them. Whenever I put this top on, it goes a little bit down, so you can see a part of my bra. Last year I went to a Polish charity concert and I met amazing people. There was this girl with whom I’ve been taking selfies from every angle, she was wearing her “lucky top” as well. This is my favorite party top. I feel very sexy in it.
Photo no. 11: Rasta hat
First time I put it on it was New Years Eve, 2012. My friends were out somewhere, they were coming back on that day, but I had the keys to their place, so I let myself in. As always, I had the hat on. I remember the moment they saw me, I was going through a lot of changes at that time, I was becoming who I am, more free, relaxed, not thinking about how other people perceive me. I remember the look on my friend’s face, she said “Oh my god, you look amazing�. There was only 5 of us, so we thought it will be a boring evening, but we sat down and talked about the year that just passed and realized how much we achieved in that year, how many things changed and how happy we became, that a lot of us learned something and became more of themselves in that year. I think the hat, apart from other things, was a manifestation of that. I will never forget her reaction, the fact that she was happy that I finally managed to find myself and express it.
Photo no. 12: Motorcycle jacket
I bought my motorcycle jacket a few years ago, when I was with my ex and he had a motorcycle. Of course I don’t drive, I’m not a good enough driver, but I am a very willing passenger on the motorcycle. It was my friend’s birthday and he was celebrating it on a boat, so we had to go from London to the seaside. The first time I put it on, I thought I was going to fall. The first half an hour was horrible, I could see all my life going through my head, I thought I am going to die. I didn’t know how to hold, sit properly, but once I started to be more relaxed, it became the most amazing thing ever. When you go at an angle, you are one with the wind. It was the first time when I didn’t think about anything, when I became one with the world, one with the driver. My dream is to fly and I felt very close to that.
Photo no. 13:Money tree
I never kept many plants in my house, the only thing I could keep and it’s not dying is the money tree. These are the only flowers I really love, we call them happiness tree in Poland. I planted two flowers at the same time. I kept one and I gave one to my friends. My friends don’t have it anymore, but whenever they had any new leafs, there were some money coming out of nowhere. When I moved back to London, I had to stay with my friends for a few months, I was feeling very unhappy, and my plant looked horrible as well. I moved out and I started to be more of myself and I realized the connection I have with my plant. I actually started to pay attention to it. It’s reflecting what is happening to my life. There is a strong energy between us, I talked to it sometimes.
I would like my reconstructed memory to be of the trousers that I bought in highshool and of the belt. I left my hometown and I went to university in Poland, but quite near Berlin. The whole town was very plastic, there were a lot of blonde girls with their weird pink clothes, it was something that came from Berlin. I was trying to find new people there, it wasn’t easy in the beginning, but I managed to get a lot of friends.
One particular moment was when I had a few friends over, including my boyfriend from then. We were sitting and eating as always. It was a very long dinner, we had some alcohol to go with that and we had a lot of fun. We were just talking about nothing and I remember the feeling from that moment, when you feel you are where you want to be and you’re happy about it.
Claudiu
Photo no.1 : Morning view
This is my living room, it’s the best place to drink my morning coffee in. It looks messy and it is messy and I love it as messy as it is, and i would literally change nothing about it.
Photo no.2 : Hackney Wick
This is Hackney Wick, where I live. This side of Hackney is the point where I always look at thinking I am leaving this behind on my way to an actual civilized area, which would be Central London, on my way to work. I love it and I embrace it completely.
Photo no. 3 : Work View
This is the view I get in the morning when I go to work. It’s not the happiest, but it is a memory. It’s one of the sad memories reminding me that I actually have to do the same thing all over again every day, crammed in the tube every day and on the overground. I’m not happy with this memory. It’s really sad.
Photo no. 4 : Expired passport
For the last two years, I never really remembered the date when my passport expires and that would be one of my biggest fears as a foreigner in London. This is a photo of my boyfriend on our way to the romanian consulate, while being sure that my passport has expired and in the end, proved not to be. Obviously, after two coffees in the morning, I realized that my passport is not expired on that date, but next year, on the same date.
Photo no.5 : Street view
This is me and my boyfriend just drinking a bottle of wine and having loads of small chats about whoever passes down the street, which is a thing that we mostly like to do, basically just bitching around. I love these moments, they are simple and unique.
I would like my reconstructed image to be of my trousers. I went here for a holiday and I remember I met some friends in Covent Garden, we went to a coffee shop and we just stayed outside on a bench, sipping our coffee and suddenly, just across the road, I see a guy who is literally just starring at me.
For as long as I remember, we kept on starring at each other for a long time and I could not believe I was doing it. For him, it was quite a normal thing to do, but for me it was quite new and fascinating and interesting. Probably this was one of the reasons why I chose to move to London, seeing the amount of freedom that others get versus the amount of freedom that I have got in my country.
Action: Their eyes meet,time stops Characters: Two men staring at each other
ITEM OF CLOTHING: Trousers LIGHTS: 2 IKAN LIGHTS ON LOCATION, CAMERA: 7D AT 60 FPS SO I CAN LATER APPLY TWIXTOR EDITING: AFTER EFFECTS AND ADOBE PREMIERE
Two men fall in love. It is not the first time and won’t be the last time. Time stops.
Many thanks to: Paul Beavan Hannah Zeilig Vivienne Mak David O’Flynn Age UK Alzheimer’s Society Emanuel Andra Jorge Cindy Paulina Jack Debbie Athena Praneti Judy&Jack
Dawn Mildred Jose Ana George Maria Eyor Vera Tony