Ho
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Q&A
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Q
Since the pandemic hit the world and changed how the world operates with profound impact in so many areas: world economy, work operation, domestic job market and financial trade, I have been experiencing greater anger within. How can I handle the exploding anger and bring healing to myself? – TA
A: Anger and other destructive
emotions are not the nature of our mind/heart, so they can be diminished and eventually removed completely from our mindstream through the development of patience, love, compassion and
wisdom. Many of the people we
admire—the Buddha, Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi and others— had the ability to remain internally undisturbed in the face of harm and externally act for the benefit of others. Their anger was neither expressed nor repressed. It was simply absent, having been transformed into tolerance and compassion. Thus, an alternative exists besides expressing or repressing anger.
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no.49 | jan-apr 2021
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When we express our anger, our words and deeds can easily hurt others. In addition, expressing anger does not rid ourselves of it. On the contrary, each time we express hostility—even if it is by beating a pillow or screaming in an empty field—we strengthen the habit of feeling and acting out its violent energy. What happens if one day there is no pillow around to pummel, no field nearby to scream in and we are surrounded only by human beings? On the other hand, repressing anger doesn’t eliminate it either. The anger still exists, no matter how much we may try to pretend to ourselves or others that it doesn’t. It may still erupt, sometimes when we are least prepared to handle it. Repressed anger may also damage us physically or mentally.
Expressing anger is one extreme, and repressing it is another. In both cases, the habit of anger remains in one form or another.
Patience is an alternative. It is the ability to remain internally calm and undisturbed in the face of harm or difficulties.
The Sanskrit word “kshanti” has no suitable equivalent in English.
Here we use “patience,” but kshanti also includes tolerance, internal calm, and endurance. Thus patience, as it is used here, also includes these qualities. Patience does not involve pasting a plastic smile on our face while hatred simmers inside. It involves dissolving the anger-energy so that it is no longer there. Then, with a clear mind, we can evaluate various alternatives and decide what to say or do to remedy the situation. When speaking of both anger and patience, we must differentiate mental attitudes from external actions. For example, anger may manifest in different behaviours.
