Cultivating Forbearance to Overcome Anger and Hatred

Since beginningless time, humans have accumulated the seeds of hatred and anger within them due to Ignorance. The Buddhist sutras compared this propensity as the most intense of the Three Poisons afflicting the human race. The raging flames of hatred or anger burn like wildfire in the heart, causing people to lose all rationality, giving rise to violence that spirals out of control, launching into a destructive rampage that destroys everything. This triggers a chain reaction of endless troubles, compounding the problem! Such negative feelings are not conducive to harmonious social relations, even splintering family, relatives or friends into nemeses or enemies. Not only do these destructive emotions impede the progress of human civilisations, but they are also like bitter poisons in worldly interactions. That’s why the Buddha taught the Six Perfections (pāramitā):

“Cultivate generosity to overcome stinginess. Observe the precepts to prevent misdeeds. Cultivate forbearance to overcome anger and hatred. Strive diligently to overcome laziness. Meditate to overcome stupor. Cultivate wisdom to overcome ignorance.”

The third antidote of cultivating forbearance is meant precisely to curb the rash impulse to fly off the handle, to cut off its destructiveness at the source.

Followers Must Understand the Teachings

As Buddhists, we must understand the Buddha’s teachings and hold discussions and dialogues to learn from one another from time to time and check on our understanding. This is what the Ch’an Master, Shen Xiu, who was a contemporary of the Sixth Patriarch meant by, “frequently wipe with diligence, so that they will not collect dust”. We have to continually observe and reflect on our physical and mental states.

Normally, it is the vocation of monastics to teach the Dharma, but because I am too busy with administrative and personnel issues at the monastery, I have not been able to do so. This shows that my personal karmic obstruction is severe, so I feel very ashamed.

If we look at the orthography of the Chinese word 忍 for “forbearance” or “endurance”, it looks like a sharp knife above a human heart. This shows how difficult it is to endure something. To make things worse, not only are we taught to brush off others’ insults or bullying, but we are also further expected to calmly bear with the abuse. Let us look at this from the perspectives of worldly and ultimate truths. Worldly truths pertain to this world we inhabit, whereas ultimate truths are transcendent. The Buddha Dharma encompasses both truths. Only those worldly truths that are reasonable conform to the ultimate truths. There is no Buddha Dharma to speak of that defies goodwill and reason.

From the perspective of worldly truths, we as ethnic Chinese share an excellent traditional ideal that promotes peace and tolerance. Even when practitioners of Chinese martial arts spar with one another, the emphasis is on their virtues as warriors, namely, righteousness and graciousness. They fight only when they have to in self-defence and never on a whim. Even when a friendship is broken beyond repair, the Chinese believe that “the gentleman does not hold grudges. Even when parting ways, he does not speak ill of the other”. Such behaviours reveal the exemplary virtue of endurance. As for forbearance, or putting up with humiliation, Confucius said, “To forget oneself and one’s kin in the heat of anger is to lose one’s mind indeed”. Mencius said, “Those people who are drawn to brawls and fights, thereby causing troubles to their parents, are unfilial.” Thus, it can be seen that in the long history of Chinese traditional culture, endurance under the appropriate circumstances has always been highly valued.

The Spirit of Forbearance and Holding Back

Therefore, in a family, society, or between friends and colleagues, it is necessary to cultivate the gracious spirit of forbearance and holding back, in order to achieve an amiable environment where there is mutual concern and assistance.

Take for instance the Buddhist Lodge’s construction of a new building. Even though Chairman Lim has exceptional leadership qualities, he still needs the cooperation of all the other directors to execute the plan. Everyone has to do his or her best and help one another along the way in order to reach where we are today. Such a spirit is even more essential when it comes to national issues.

A long time ago during the Warring States period in ancient China, the Kingdom of Zhao had an outstanding diplomat called Lin Xiang Ru. At the same time, it had an illustrious military general named Lian Po. General Lian Po was renowned for his bravery and multiple military successes. At that time, the Kingdom of Qin was a superpower. One day, the King of Qin heard that the Kingdom of Zhao had gotten hold of the exquisite jade from the Kingdom of Chu. He sent a messenger to deliver a letter to the King of Zhao, offering to exchange fifteen cities for the jade. When Lin Xiang Ru personally delivered the jade to King Qin, the latter reneged on his words. So Lin Xiang Ru was forced to come up with a scheme to recover the jade. He had his assistant dress up as a poor villager and by travelling on the dirt road, his assistant successfully returned to the Kingdom of Zhao with the original jade hidden in his sleeves. This is the story behind the Chinese idiom, “The intact jade returns to Zhao” (which means “an object presumed lost is returned to its rightful owner intact”). Later on, Lin Xiang Ru became the premier of Zhao, but Lian Po felt indignant and jealous because he deemed himself superior to Lin Xiang Ru. Although Lin Xiang Ru knew about this, he chose to avoid a direct confrontation with Lian Po. Soon after, Lian Po realised his own mistake and shouldering a heap of thistle with sharp thorns on his naked torso, he went personally to apologise to Lin Xiang Ru. Both men were courteous and respectful to the other when they met. With these two capable talents serving the Kingdom of Zhao, the King of Qin dared not invade it. This true story has been passed down to us through the centuries. It epitomises what is meant by “swallow the humiliation and bear the burden” that forbearance entails.

The Perfection of Patience

Let us now examine the ultimate truths of what the Buddha taught, the Perfection (pāramitā) of Patience (ksanti) . “Pāramitā” means to arrive at one’s destination. That is to say, one arrives at a calm and peaceful state after extinguishing the raging fire of hatred and anger by being patient. The realisation of ultimate truths takes place on the spiritual plane. In other words, we need to shine a light on our innate nature, which is inherently radiant and clear, as it is our Buddha nature. Why do we often flare up in anger? Or hatred? This is because our inherent Buddha nature has been obscured by dark clouds of ignorance. The stirrings of ignorance ignite the flames of anger and hatred. Beings descend into hells or bad rebirths because they are burned by such flames. Bodhisattvas are highly revered because they keep their intrinsic Buddha nature unwavering and dignified. That’s the only difference. However, there is a difference between forbearance and weakness. Forbearance is illuminated by the light of wisdom, reinforced by unshakable resolve and imbued with compassion.

To endure is to bear with something stoically. It is the ability to understand the ways of the world, to see through illusory phenomena and abide in what is right or reasonable without agitation. The Buddha Dharma expounds on many different types of endurance. I shall briefly introduce them here:

(1) there is the patience to endure all kinds of speech, and not be attached ( 音声忍 );

(2) the patience to persist with what is agreeable, namely, the Buddha Dharma ( 柔顺忍 );

(3) the patience to abide in the state of mind in which no mental objects arise ( 无生忍 ); the patience to abide in perceiving all

(4) as illusions ( 如幻忍 );

(5) as mirages ( 如焰忍 );

(6) as dreams ( 如梦忍 );

(7) as echoes ( 如响忍 );

(8) as reflections ( 如影忍 );

(9) as conjured effects ( 如化忍 ); and

(10) as void ( 如空忍 ).

The Bodhisattva who attains penetrating insight into the empty nature of both relative worldly and absolute ultimate truths thereby gains the same insight of the Buddha (Refer to Avatamsaka Sutra ).

The Bodhisattva who attains the above meditative insight will have unshakeable confidence. Hence, the Bodhisattva is able to meet whatever comes his way with composure and grace. In one of Han Shan Zi’s poems, there is a verse:

“Someone has come to scold me, the truth is self-evident. Even though I didn’t respond, I have gained from it.”

Such serenity is not what most of us mere mortals can quickly develop. However, the Perfection of Patience taught by the Buddha is based on a deep understanding of the karmic law of cause and effect. Restraining oneself, sacrificing oneself to touch or move another person’s heart is more meaningful. Do not mistake it for being scared or afraid to die, however. At the same time, it encourages people to take a longer perspective, beyond an eye for an eye because exacting vengeance is a never-ending vicious circle. Instead, the Buddha pointed out how to extinguish the root cause of the raging flames and embark on the journey towards wisdom. I hope all of us will cultivate an expansive heart with space to hold everything, in order to save the world from future atrocities.

Spread Goodwill Extensively

That is why Buddhism encourages people to spread goodwill and amity towards others, and discourages them from all negative activities like killing, to avert the future negative karmic consequences of experiencing bitter resentment arising from having to keep meeting what one detests.

The Buddha has been hailed as the most loving, compassionate, joyful and generous being. This was achieved through numerous past lives of cultivation, culminating in his magnificence, as the most illuminating, heroic and egalitarian leader. Thus, Buddhism is a religion worthy of respect and emulation by all the people in this world.

1 Cttbusa.org/avatamsaka/avatamsaka 29.asp