AwareNow: Issue 52: 'The Unfiltered Edition' by AwareNow™

AWARENOW

THE WORLD'S OFFICIAL MAGAZINE FOR CAUSES

BEAUTY’ NICOLE EGGERT

THE UNFILTERED EDITION

ON THE COVER: NICOLE EGGERT

AwareNow Magazine is a monthly publication produced by AwareNow Media™, a storytelling platform dedicated to creating and sustaining positive social change with content that inspires and informs, while raising awareness for causes one story at a time.

THE WEIGHT OF WORDS

DEBORAH WEED

JUNE BUG

TEDDY COSMO

RESILIENT BEAUTY

NICOLE EGGERT

BECAUSE I CAN (THE FILM) ALLIÉ MCGUIRE

IMAGINAL BURT KEMPNER

BLIND AMBITION DAN MANCINA

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS IN THERESA CHEUNG, COCO DE BRUYCKER THE CULTURAL

I’VE CHANGED LORI BUTIERRIES

CONT;NUE

NADIE CROCKER, KEVIN & MARGARET HINES

YOUR SAVIOR GABRIELLA MONTIEL

CHAMPION OF RESILIENCE DANIELLE CAMPO

THE CHANCE HE NEVER HAD CHRISTEN WHITE, NSSC

RESILIENCE IN THE RED SEA LT. RYAN LENNON

WALK THE TALK DR. TODD BROWN

JOEL CARTNER

BREAKING THE FILTER CULTURE PAUL ROGERS

SILENT WEIGHT ERIN MACAULEY

FROM BREAKDOWN TO ADVOCACY BERENISE GUERRERO, SONJA MONTIEL

JUST SPEAK CATHY MCKINNON

UNBROKEN KEYS JOSHUA VOORHIES

FROM STIGMA TO STRENGTH PARIS SCOBIE

REVOLT, RESIST & REFORM

BERTHO

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

unﬁltered: (adj.) not altered, genuine

In this edition of AwareNow Magazine, we embrace the power of truth in its purest form. Life is full of breakdowns—moments when everything falls apart, yet within these moments, we often ﬁnd beauty, strength, and transformation.

In ‘The Unfiltered Edition’, we dive into stories that reflect resilience, authenticity, and the courage to face life without filters.

On the cover, we are honored to feature Nicole Eggert, who shares her journey of navigating Hollywood and motherhood while ﬁnding peace and authenticity in a world full of expectations, as she redeﬁnes beauty.

This edition invites you to see the world through their eyes of others and ﬁnd beauty in your own breakdowns.

ALLIÉ McGUIRE

WAIVER/DISCLAIMER

Co-Director of AwareNow Media, CEO & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties

Allié started her career in performance poetry, then switched gears to wine where she made a name for herself as an online wine personality and content producer. She then focused on content production under her own label The Allié Way™ before marrying the love of her life, Jack, and switching gears yet again to a pursue a higher calling to raise awareness and funds for causes with Awareness Ties and AwareNow Media.

JACK McGUIRE

Co-Director of AwareNow Media, President & Co-Founder of Awareness Ties

Jack got his start in the Navy before his acting and modeling career. Jack then got into hospitality, focusing on excellence in service and efficiency in operations and management. After establishing himself with years of experience in the F&B industry, he sought to establish something different… something that would allow him to serve others in a greater way. With his wife, Allié, Awareness Ties and AwareNow Media were born.

The views and opinions expressed in AwareNow are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of AwareNow Media. Any content provided by our columnists or interviewees is of their opinion and not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, political group, organization, company, or individual. Stories shared are not intended to vilify anyone or anything. Their intent is to make you think.

Please note that you may find a spelling or punctuation error here or there, as our Editor-In-Chief has MS and loss vision in her right eye. That said, she still has perfect vision in her left and rocks it as best as she can.

DEBORAH WEED FOUNDER OF THE SELF-WORTH INITIATIVE

‘THE

SELF-WORTH INITIATIVE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY DEBORAH WEED

THE WEIGHT OF WORDS HOW

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES SHAPED MY HEALTH JOURNEY

When I was a little girl, my mom would often tell me, “You’re killing me,” in moments of frustration, often accompanied by exasperated sighs and heavy eyes. At the time, I brushed it off as just another one of those dramatic parental expressions, but little did I know, those words would seep into the fabric of my being and shadow my health for years to come.

As I grew up, I started to encounter a series of mysterious health challenges that seemed to defy explanation. Each doctor’s visit felt like a haunting episode in a medical thriller—an endless loop of tests, misdiagnoses, and uncertainty. It was as if those early words had taken root deep in my soul, manifesting into a terrifying reality where my body seemed to be rebelling against me.

The true horror of my health struggles was not just the physical symptoms, but the psychological toll they exacted. Doctor after doctor, I was met with grim predictions and “nocebos”—negative suggestions that became imprinted in my mind. The weight of those words—“you’re killing me” —echoed in the back of my mind, amplifying my fears and creating a mental loop of self-blame. The visuals of sickness and frailty trapped me, reinforcing the idea that my very existence was a source of pain for others.

As I began to unravel the tangled web of my health, I realized that the belief I could somehow hurt those around me had taken a devastating toll. It was a pattern I could ﬁnally see: every time I felt unwell, the guilt resurfaced, and I internalized it as a truth that diminished my sense of self- worth.

It became clear that the most profound damage was not merely physical but psychological. The burden of feeling responsible for others’ pain had become my own form of illness—a lingering shadow that made recovery feel impossible.

Here’s what I’m in the process of doing to turn my life around. The ﬁrst step in my healing journey is to reframe the narrative I’ve been living. I’m writing the words I want to believe: “I am not responsible for anyone’s pain.” By owning a new truth, I’m working towards transforming fear into empowerment.

Engaging with a therapist helped me unpack the layers of guilt and fear that had accumulated over the years. This has became a vital tool in helping me challenge the harmful beliefs that had taken hold. With each session, I’m learning to replace negative thoughts with positive afﬁrmations.

Exploring practices like meditation and Tai Chi has helped me to reconnect to my body in a loving way.These techniques helped me recognize that my body was not the enemy; rather, it was a vessel of resilience. I learned to listen to its needs rather than ﬁght against it.

THE WEIGHT OF WORDS

Written and Narrated by Deborah Weed https://awarenow.us/podcast/the-weight-of-words

Surrounding myself with a supportive community was crucial. Sharing my story with others who had faced similar challenges creates a sense of belonging and relief. In these circles, I discovered the power of collective healing and the strength that comes from vulnerability.

Armed with knowledge about my health conditions, I am becoming my own advocate. Understanding my body and the factors inﬂuencing my health empowered me to make informed decisions, breaking the cycle of fear. I began to see myself not as a burden, but as a warrior ﬁghting for my well-being.

Emerging from this tumultuous chapter, I have learned that healing is not linear. There are days when the old fears resurface, but I now have tools to confront them. Each step towards self- acceptance and self-compassion is a step away from the weight of those childhood words.

While I can’t erase the impact of those early messages, I can choose to redeﬁne what they mean. Today, I embrace my journey not as a burden, but as a testament to resilience. My story is one of transformation—turning fear into strength, pain into purpose, and ultimately, ﬁnding freedom in the belief that I can be a source of light rather than shadow.

So, if you ﬁnd yourself grappling with similar burdens, know that you are not alone. Your story is yours to write, and the healing journey, though daunting, is paved with hope and possibility. Embrace it—because you are not responsible for anyone's pain; you are here to heal. ∎

Deborah Weed is a whirlwind of creativity and motivation, passionately championing self-worth through her Self-worth Initiative. Her mission? To help families and their kiddos live authentically, energetically, and joyously! Deborah's journey began with a personal crisis: after dazzling in high-pro ﬁle roles like working on a $26 million pavilion for KIA Motors and being Citibank's Director of Development, she faced a misdiagnosis that left her bedridden for three years. Her discovery of a 1943 copper penny worth a million dollars turned her perspective around— if a "worthless" penny could be so valuable, so could she! Inspired, Deborah wrote and produced The Luckiest Penny, an interactive musical that teaches kids about self-worth. As a motivational speaker, Deborah brings fun and inspiration to everyone, proving that self-worth is a joyful, transformative adventure. www.IamAwareNow.com AwareNow Podcast

DEBORAH WEED

Founder of the Self-Worth Initiative www.awarenessties.us/deborah-weed

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TEDDY COSMO MUSICIAN, PRODUCER AND ADVOCATE FOR DISABLED MUSICIANS & ACCESSIBILITY

ORIGINAL

MUSIC BY TEDDY COSMO

JUNE BUG

June bug, looking for a new love.

Underneath this old sun hoping that I ﬁnd one.

Maybe I’ve been going crazy from promises I’m making but couldn’t keep. Somehow, I think I’ve let us both down, hoping there’s a way out we’ll wait and see.

It doesn’t matter who I was, it’s who I am, and who I’ll become.

It doesn’t matter who I was, if one thing matters that one things love.

Who says I have to have a clear head guess my only fear is that we missed the plot.

It’s clear that I need some time to bounce back. I wonder can I ﬁx this? Was it worth the cost?

It doesn’t matter who I was, it’s who I am, and who I’ll become.

It doesn’t matter who I was, if one thing matters that one things love.

“This song is about ﬁnding love for yourself when things are dark. It took roughly about three years to write.” - Teddy Cosmo

Based in New York City, Teddy Cosmo has been releasing music since 2017, pushing the envelope of representation for disabled musicians since high school. Born with Cerebral Palsy, playing guitar didn't come easy, but after years of practice, Teddy has developed a unique playing style that works with the tremors in his hands. AwareNow is honored to have Teddy Cosmo as an Ofﬁcial Ambassador for Disability Awareness. Follow Teddy on Instagram: @teddycosmo_

NICOLE EGGERT

ACTRESS, ADVOCATE AND BREAST CANCER WARRIOR

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NICOLE EGGERT

RESILIENT BEAUTY

AN UNFILTERED REFLECTION ON LIFE, STRENGTH & ADVERSITY

Nicole Eggert, a name synonymous with iconic roles and timeless beauty, now stands as a beacon of resilience and strength. From her early days on screen captivating audiences to her current role as a mother, and most recently, a breast cancer warrior, Nicole’s journey is a testament to the power of perseverance. In this candid conversation, she opens up about the challenges that have shaped her—both in the spotlight and behind the scenes. Through her unfiltered reflection, Nicole shares how she has navigated life’s trials with grace, finding beauty in the breakdown and emerging stronger than ever.

ALLIÉ: Nicole, you’ve worn many hats throughout your life—from being an iconic actress to embracing motherhood, and now as a breast cancer warrior. How have these roles shaped your identity as a woman?

NICOLE: Well, I like to think that I learn something new every day, and I continue to grow. I don’t ever want to be

I feel alive and needed.

NICOLE EGGERT ACTRESS, ADVOCATE AND BREAST CANCER WARRIOR

“I’m not ﬁghting just for myself… I’m ﬁghting so I don’t leave my daughters without a mother.”

NICOLE: (continued) little slow in coming into my own and being comfortable with myself. But motherhood can really kick you into gear. Once I became a mother, I wasn’t just speaking for myself anymore; I was speaking for someone else. That shift in perspective made some of my insecurities fade away. I think my backbone got stronger, and my passion changed because I was no longer living just for myself. Now, with the breast cancer diagnosis, once again, I’m not fighting just for myself—I'm fighting so I don’t leave my daughters without a mother.

ALLIÉ: You've spoken about how your daughters have been your 'rocks' throughout your breast cancer battle. How has your relationship with them evolved during this time, and what have you learned about yourself as a mother and a survivor?

NICOLE: My kids are my rocks because they haven’t treated me any differently. They don’t talk about the cancer much, other than to ask if I’m feeling okay or how things are going. My younger daughter is with me every day, while my oldest lives in New York, so she’s not around as much. My youngest is very sweet—she’ll check on me and slow down when we’re walking up stairs, asking, “Do you want to go a little slower?” She keeps me on my toes, though! I still do carpool and make lunches every day. She doesn’t ask any less of me, and honestly, I appreciate that. It brings normalcy to this crazy journey, and it keeps me going. I feel alive and needed.

ALLIÉ: After discovering the lump through a self-exam, your life took a dramatic turn. Can you share what went through your mind when you first received your diagnosis, and how you've managed to maintain such a positive outlook amid the challenges?

NICOLE: When I found the lump, it was like my heart stopped. If anyone has been through something traumatic, they know that feeling when your heart stops, and you stop breathing for a moment. I knew right away, even though it could have been something else. It was just too large. When I got the diagnosis, I was expecting bad news, but hearing it was still horrifying and earth-shattering. I knew I couldn’t live in that panic—there’s no way to survive like that. I had to find a way to get out of that space, so I turned to meditation, spiritual healing, and even saw a shaman. That gave me comfort and helped me get grounded so I could face the battle ahead. It took a lot of meditation, spiritual searching, and practicing peace multiple times a day to calm down and focus on the task at hand. I knew I couldn’t fight properly unless I was in a peaceful place.

ALLIÉ: You’ve mentioned that producing the 'After Baywatch: Moment In The Sun' docuseries has given you a renewed sense of purpose. How has working on this project influenced your perspective on your career and life, especially while undergoing cancer treatment?

NICOLE EGGERT ACTRESS, ADVOCATE AND BREAST CANCER WARRIOR

NICOLE EGGERT

ACTRESS, ADVOCATE AND BREAST CANCER WARRIOR

RESILIENT BEAUTY

Exclusive Interview with Nicole Eggert https://awarenow.us/podcast/resilient-beauty

“So many things are beautiful to me now…”

ALLIÉ: Given everything you've been through, from your early days in Hollywood to your recent health battles, how do you define beauty now? What message do you hope to convey to others who are facing their own battles, particularly during Breast Cancer Awareness Month?

NICOLE: I’ve never been a judgmental person, but now I’m even more open and accepting. So many things are beautiful to me now… I gained 40 pounds during treatment, but I love my body for what it’s done for me. Beauty, for me, is all about intention. As long as you’re living with good intentions, loving yourself, and doing your best, that’s beauty. It’s not about aesthetics anymore. ∎

A special ‘thank you’ to Eddie Donaldson, for this beautiful connection between Nicole and AwareNow with a conversation and story that will remain near and dear to our hearts.

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FEATURE STORY BY ALLIÉ MCGUIRE

BECAUSE I CAN ( THE FILM )

STRIDES

OF STRENGTH IN THE FIGHT AGAINST MS

While I can’t run from MS, I can run with it… and ﬁlm a story about it as I do.

This is a story about MS. It’s a story about running. But more than that, ‘Because I Can’ is about overcoming adversity. It’s about ﬁnding strength in the stories we share and write together. On this journey to the Philadelphia Marathon where I’ll join my friend Angie, as we run to raise funds to ﬁnd a cure for multiple sclerosis, the losses and wins we all encounter in life will be exposed and explored.

This ﬁlm isn’t just about me—it’s about you. It’s about all of us who face challenges we can’t outrun. It’s a story about something we all share… It’s about hope. I do believe my husband, AwareNow Co-Founder and Producer, Jack McGuire, said it best:

“Because I Can is a tribute to the unyielding spirit that resides in all of us, a celebration of the human capacity to defy the odds through grit and connection. By bringing this story to life, we are committed to creating a piece that not only moves hearts but also ignites a sense of purpose in viewers. Our goal is to ensure that every frame, every moment, carries the weight of their courage and the universality of their message: we are capable of more than we imagine, because we choose to

BILL MCCULLOUGH VISIONARY, DIRECTOR & PRODUCER

Because we have to walk before we can run, in this ﬁlm I”ll walk with three others who also live with MS. In LA, I’ll walk with inspirational actress and model, Nicole Pedra. In Paris, I’ll walk with international artist, Demit Omphroy. And in Michigan, I’ll take a walk with intentional advocate and author, Fox Rigney. While we all share the same diagnosis, we all have very different stories to tell and experiences to share.

Our dear friend, director and 11-time Emmy Award winner, Bill McCullough, shared the following:

“Because I Can is more than a documentary about running and MS; it is a testament to human spirit, resilience, and the transformative power of friendship. In this ﬁlm, we explore the depths of courage and the unwavering belief that despite the challenges, we can achieve greatness because we dare to try. This ﬁlm aims to inspire, educate, and resonate with audiences, leaving them with a profound sense of hope and motivation.”

Creating a documentary of this magnitude requires more than just passion—it requires the support of a community. We have partnered with the National MS Society, but we need your help to bring this project to life and ensure it reaches those who need it most. Proceeds from ﬁlm screening events will be donated to the National MS Society to fund their work to ﬁnd a cure for multiple sclerosis.

Your contribution will fund the ongoing production of the documentary, including filming in multiple locations, post-production, and the launch of our awareness campaign. With your help, we’ll also be able to bring this film to international film festivals, like Tribeca and Cannes, and secure distribution on platforms like Netflix or Hulu.

We invite you to be part of this journey. Become an Ofﬁcial Donor here: donorbox.org/because-we-can

‘JUST BURT STORIES’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY BURT KEMPNER

IMAGINAL

Our continuing evolution isn’t just a central question of our times. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only question.

I recently attended a two-day seminar on sacred activism. The instructors used the example of the butter ﬂy as a teaching story. A caterpillar, they said, reaches a certain stage in its development where the status quo is simply not enough. So too the awakening activist.

The caterpillar instinctively knows it’s now time for a change and spins a cocoon around itself. This is transformation, and many activists believe transformation is sufficient to advance the species to where it needs to be. But it’s not. Our once-recognizable caterpillar has now dissolved into a protein-rich, soupy liquid. If it remained in that state, it would be a dead end. But now a group of specialized cells called imaginal discs leap into action. Some will form butter fly wings, others antennae, still others the thorax, etc. This is transmutation – the birth of a radically different animal. Freed from its protective but limiting cocoon, the butterfly triumphantly flies off to glorify the day.

And what of its human counterparts? For those of us searching for a sane and survivable new world, what will turn out to be the imaginal cells that propel us to the promised land? The caterpillar possesses these remarkable discs, but they are dormant throughout that stage of its life. So what activates them? There are numerous scienti ﬁc explanations, but because this is my article I get to say it’s a divine spark. ∎

AwareNow Podcast IMAGINAL

Written and Narrated by Burt Kempner https://awarenow.us/podcast/imaginal

BURT KEMPNER Writer & Producer www.awarenessties.us/burt-kempner

BURT KEMPNER is a writer-producer who has worked professionally in New York, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Florida. His work has won numerous major awards, and has been seen by groups ranging in size from a national television audience in the United States to a half-dozen Maori chieftains in New Zealand. Spurred by his love for inspiring young people, he started writing children's books in 2015. Learn more about Burt and his books at his website: www.burtkempner.com.

Photo Credit: Jacob Lewkow

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DAN MANCINA

BLIND AMBITION

A MISSION TO MAKE SKATEBOARDING ACCESSIBLE FOR ALL

Defying the limits of vision, professional skateboarder Dan Mancina has become a trailblazer in adaptive sports, using his passion for skateboarding and his journey with blindness to inspire a global audience. Diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa as a teenager, Dan lost his vision but refused to let it stop him from pursuing his love for skateboarding. Today, he not only performs jaw-dropping tricks but is also building the world’s ﬁrst adaptive skatepark for the visually impaired, making waves in the sport and empowering others to follow their passions despite any obstacles.

ALLIÉ: While skateboarding is an incredibly visual sport, yet you've continued to push boundaries after losing 90% of your vision. Can you share how your approach to skateboarding changed after your diagnosis, and what role your other senses are now playing in your performance?

DAN: Yeah, I have to correct you. I'm 100 percent blind now—have been for about the past, at least, ﬁve years. Yeah,

DAN MANCINA

BLIND SKATEBOARDER & ADAPTIVE SPORTS ADVOCATE

Photo Credit: Jacob Lewkow

“It started as a way for me to push back against the stigma and do things you wouldn’t expect a blind person to do.”

DAN: (continued) and navigating the world in a different way. I rely on all the other senses, like you said. Listening and feeling are the main ones I use. Yeah, I pay attention to what's under my feet and use my hands a lot more— reaching down, touching things, and taking in the world through those other senses.

ALLIÉ: A whole different way to experience the world, I'd imagine. You know, you've certainly become a source of inspiration for so many, especially through your social media presence. How does sharing—since they say "sharing is caring," right?—how does sharing your journey with the world impact you personally? And what do you hope your audience takes away from your skateboarding videos and your advocacy work?

DAN: Well, it started as kind of pushing back against how people viewed me—the misperception people have of the blind. I noticed a change in how people treated me and talked to me, going from the sighted world to the blind world. I didn't enjoy that. You know, when people ﬁrst see a blind person, they often feel sad or sorry, like they couldn’t imagine being blind or how they’d handle it. But for us, it’s just normal. You get comfortable with it, used to it, and you’re still the same person you always were. So, I really didn’t like that perception. It was my way, on social media, to push back against it and do things you wouldn’t expect a blind person to do—starting with funny videos, like kicking a ﬁeld goal or sinking a mini putt-putt. Then it transformed into skateboarding. One day, I decided to do a skateboarding video, and it got a great response. That kind of reignited my passion for skating because I had quit for a couple of years. Life was happening, and I was dealing with vision loss. It started as a way to push back against that stigma.

ALLIÉ: Well, and to your point, maybe it’s not someone else’s normal, but it’s your normal now. I’d love to... Actually, let’s pause here for a moment. What do you think is the biggest misconception you've encountered, from the sighted world to the blind world? What’s the most frustrating thing you get from those outside looking in?

DAN: I guess it would be that we're helpless and can't do anything—can’t do very basic things. That's probably the biggest thing. You face it every day—people asking someone else if I need help. If I’m with somebody, they’ll ask, "Does he need help?" and I’m like, "You can ask me." Yeah, that’s the big one.

ALLIÉ: I want to talk about the skate park you're building—the world’s ﬁrst adaptive skate park. It's a bold and ambitious project. What inspired you to create this space speci ﬁcally for visually impaired skaters, and what impact do you hope the park will have on the future of skateboarding and adaptive sports in general?

DAN: Yeah, well, blindness was the original idea—making it accessible to the visually impaired. But I’ve also met so many other adaptive skaters, like WCMX (wheelchair motocross). It's like skateboarding, but with your wheelchair. So, I’m incorporating ideas to make the park more accessible for that as well. It started seven years ago, from going to skate parks and seeing things like the size of features and obstacles that could be changed to make them more skateable for someone who’s visually impaired. Really simple things, like making quarter pipes wider, ledges longer, stair sets wider—stuff like that. I also started doing workshops, teaching visually impaired kids how to skate and introducing them to the world of skateboarding. I’ve done those all over the U.S. and Canada. Having a place to do

Photo Credit: Jacob Lewkow

“I quit skating for a couple of years, so getting it back in my life was an important part of feeling whole. It’s my identity.”

DAN: (continued) that more frequently, and having a blueprint for a park that’s accessible for other designers, is the goal. I’m also going to host adaptive contests there. We’re pushing for skateboarding to be included in the Paralympics—our goal is 2028, which is right around the corner. It’s about showing what an accessible skate park could look like and sound like.

ALLIÉ: I love that. When we talk about accessibility in design, it’s universal design—no barriers for anyone. Why aren’t we thinking like that? Why aren’t we including everyone in these conversations, designs, and infrastructures?

DAN: Exactly. We’re actually pouring concrete next Tuesday.

ALLIÉ: That’s exciting!

DAN: Yeah, very exciting. It’s been seven years in the making, so it’s going to be wild.

ALLIÉ: What’s your favorite thing to do on a board? I’m sure every skater has a signature move they love to do.

DAN: Yeah, it’s kind of a silly question to ask a skateboarder, a little "cooky," but it's all right. It changes, you know— day to day, week by week, month by month—whatever you’re feeling. Right now, I’m super into a trick called a front blunt slide, specifically on ledges. But really, any trick where I flip my board into it or flip out of it—that’s been my focus and what I’ve been most stoked on.

ALLIÉ: Well, I appreciate you answering my "cooky" question.

DAN: That’s all right. Almost everybody asks that question, too. Yeah, in skateboarding, we don’t walk around asking, "What’s your favorite trick?”

ALLIÉ: Yeah, that was silly. It’s like asking a musician, "What’s your favorite chord?”

DAN: Exactly.

ALLIÉ: So, I was reading some of your posts and interviews. Before your vision loss, you considered yourself an average skater. How has your journey with blindness shaped your relationship with skateboarding, and how has it transformed the way you see your potential?

DAN: Oh, that’s a good question. It’s deﬁnitely given me more conﬁdence—especially as a blind person, becoming comfortable with my blindness. Like I said, I quit skating for a couple of years, so getting it back in my life was an important part of feeling whole. It’s my identity. That’s a big part of it for sure. It’s also given me control over how others view me. Instead of people feeling sad or sorry for me, they can feel stoked or inspired in some way. It’s been super positive.

DAN MANCINA

BLIND SKATEBOARDER & ADAPTIVE SPORTS ADVOCATE

Photo Credit: Jacob Lewkow

Exclusive Interview with Dan Mancina https://awarenow.us/podcast/blind-ambition

“Don’t let others dictate who you are or what you want to do. It’s up to you…”

ALLIÉ: Your story, Dan, is one of perseverance and breaking barriers. My last question for you today is, what advice would you give to someone facing their own challenges, whether related to vision impairment or not, in pursuing their passions and dreams?

DAN: People are going to want to dictate your life and your path in a way they feel is safer or more accessible. But really, it’s up to you to decide what you want. Don’t let others dictate who you are or what you want to do. It’s up to you, and doing that is what will make you feel most fulﬁlled. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish. ∎

Follow Dan on Instagram: @danthemancina Support his skatepark here: www.keeppushinginc.com View more work from photographer Jacob Lewkow: www.jacoblewkow.com

THERESA CHEUNG DREAM EXPERT & BEST-SELLING AUTHOR

‘THE STUFF OF DREAMS’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY THERESA CHEUNG

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS IN FROM AUDITIONING TO AWAKENING

Theresa Cheung, dream expert and best-selling author shares, “Your dreams are the language of your soul.” In this AwareNow Magazine exclusive column, ‘The Stuff of Dreams’, every month Theresa decodes a dream submitted by one of our readers.

THE DREAM

I had a voice over audition, the sky was burning and I slipped on a snail, someone helped me up and I looked Beyonce in the eyes and she says "You gotta do your own thing." So I gave up the acting career in Germany and started making music to heal my heart…

- Coco D.

THE DREAM DECODED

Dear Coco,

This is a seminal dream. Treasure it.

When you dream of an audition it suggests you are being urgently reminded of your own creative potential and if you are to succeed you will be tested in some way. And as it’s a voice over audition the area you are being tested in involves how you communicate not just with others but also with yourself. Your dreaming mind is urging you to focus on your words and thoughts to ensure they are in your best interests. Make sure they are always compassionate and lift you up, raise your energy vibration and especially monitor your self-talk. Ensure the voice over you give your own life is a captivating one, as captivating as your vision of the burning.

The burning sky signiﬁes intense emotion and a situation that is both mesmerising and overwhelming. You can survive this current emotional intensity by slowing right down and protecting your boundaries (snail) You may feel impatient with the slower momentum and current pace of your life, but it is essential you exercise self control and patience now because if you stop chasing things you will naturally start attracting what will lift you up (indeed, someone helps you up in the dream without you asking for that help).

“It doesn’t matter how successful you are, if you don’t have

inner liberation…”

And it seems what will most help you up right now is to channel your inner Beyoncé - your independence and originality - as the dream advises you to be yourself, do what you love and what will bring your heart peace. It doesn’t matter how successful you are, if you don’t have inner liberation any material success will not bring you joy.

This is a stunning and beautifully creative dream symbolising authentic spiritual awakening - celebrate it and let it remind you that the only way out is in. Your inner world (soul) is longing to reconnect with you and remind you just how resilient and inﬁnitely creative and independent minded you are. ∎

Have a dream you’d like decoded?

← Scan, tap or click the code to submit your dream to AwareNow. If selected, it will be published in AwareNow Magazine with Theresa’s analysis.

THERESA CHEUNG

Dream Expert & Best-Selling Author www.theresacheung.com/about-theresa

THERESA CHEUNG is a best-selling author and dream decoding expert who has been researching and writing about spirituality, astrology, dreams, and the paranormal for the past twenty-ﬁve years. With a Master's degree from King's College Cambridge University in Theology and English, and several international best-selling books, including two Sunday Times "top 10 bestsellers", Theresa has over 40 published books and cards on topics of the science of cognition to intuition. Her Dream Dictionary from A to Z (Harper Collins) regularly sits at number 1 on its category's Amazon list, and is regarded as a classic in its ﬁeld.

www.IamAwareNow.com

DR. BETTY® AWARD-WINNING GLOBAL BUSINESS INFLUENCER, ENTREPRENEUR & INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DR. BETTY®

THE CULTURAL ALCHEMIST BRIDGING DIVIDES AND BUILDING LEGACIES

Dr. Betty ® is a distinguished leader whose career spans over two and a half decades, transforming businesses, cultures, and individual lives. As the CEO of Effectus Enterprises and a United Nations Ambassador for Peace & Human Rights, Dr. Betty has collaborated with global leaders and driven signiﬁcant change across diverse industries. Here we explore her remarkable journey, exploring the pivotal moments, unique challenges, and profound insights that have shaped her path to becoming a true catalyst for transformation.

ALLIÉ: Dr. Betty, you’ve blended academic smarts, strategic know-how, and a big heart in your career. Can you share a moment when these came together to create magic in one of your projects?

DR. BETTY: So, with my ﬁrst company, I was pregnant with my son, I was 20 years old, and we started this company building surgical lighting components. In surgery, there needs to be a light, and the light needs to be cool enough to not bring heat into the body. There’s some engineering involved in it, and I started this with my partner at the time, in our garage. So, I had to bring in workers to work the metal and build the parts. Kaiser Permanente, one of the biggest

DR. BETTY®

“My father was an entrepreneur… He showed me the importance of treating employees with kindness and like family.”

DR. BETTY: (continued) At that time, it was difﬁcult. I kept wondering, "How am I going to manage these people? How am I going to do this?" So I took a free enterprise course, where I learned how to pay people for good parts. Instead of paying them by the hour, I paid them by the part—by the good part. We manufactured the parts in my garage, with the machinery, and I would inspect the parts and only pay for the good ones. Through that, I learned about free enterprise, managing people, and paying for results rather than time. I later applied these lessons to managing leaders: "I’m going to pay you for results—you can do it from the beach if you want to; it doesn’t matter to me, but I’ll only acknowledge your results.”

By understanding human nature and how to manage people from where they are, I was able to overcome that challenge. I think it was especially hard because it was my first company. But I also reflected on my childhood. My father was an entrepreneur—he had a manufacturing company and a trucking fleet. When I was little, he’d say, "Come with me." I thought he was lonely, but he was teaching me how to manage suppliers, customers, and employees. He showed me the importance of treating employees with kindness and like family. These lessons shaped how I would lead later in life.

Bringing my heart into everything has been essential. When I left JPMorgan Chase, people would say, "Betty brought the heart into JPMorgan Chase. Betty brought humanity." They told me I gave them permission to be themselves, to say the word "God" in their vocabulary, and to treat their employees with kindness. One executive even said, "I’ve never met anyone who allows me to be myself." But I didn’t "allow" them—I created the space for them to allow themselves. Empowering others came naturally from what I learned in my early years.

ALLIÉ: That's so beautiful, and you’re right—the value of the moment, the value of being present and truly embracing what’s in front of us, that cannot be replicated. I think it's strange that we, as human beings, have such a hard time just ‘being’. We’re more like human doings, always moving, always going.

DR. BETTY: You know what I think, Allié? Think of a child. A child asks, "Why is the sky blue? Why are you sitting in that chair? Why can't you move your arm? Why can't you speak?" They ask innocent questions without fear of hurting feelings, until someone shuts them down. And then, a wall goes up. These little walls keep us from opening up fully, and as adults, those wounds prevent us from being our truest selves. The Bible even says you must be like a child. Many sacred texts, from different religions, carry the same wisdom—about openness, curiosity, and authenticity.

When you and I talked about this interview, I told you to ask me anything because I wanted to be in the moment and answer honestly. I knew magic would happen. That’s why I wanted to be here—because I knew it would be imperfect, and that’s where the magic lies. It’s beautiful when people embrace their imperfections. It’s those "perfect imperfections" that make us who we are and give us the opportunity to make a difference.

DR. BETTY® AWARD-WINNING GLOBAL BUSINESS INFLUENCER, ENTREPRENEUR & INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR

“I became invisible because I didn’t speak the language or understand the culture. But I always had this curiosity, this thirst for learning and sharing what I learned.”

ALLIÉ: I love that—the "license to make a difference." Can you share a story about a particular situation that changed how you view leadership and human rights?

DR. BETTY: For me personally, leaving Colombia at age 12 was pivotal. My mother made the decision to leave because my father was an alcoholic and had almost killed her right in front of me. In one airplane ride, we went from being middle class to poor. I became invisible because I didn’t speak the language or understand the culture. But I always had this curiosity, this thirst for learning and sharing what I learned.

That thirst led me to sit at tables where decisions were being made by some of the most powerful people in the world. I remember sitting in Dubai and asking a leader, "Why would you price it this way? Why wouldn’t we stair-step the pricing?" He thought about it and realized it didn’t make sense the way they were doing it. And that small question made a huge difference for the people involved. It’s about showing up authentically, even when you’re not the expert, because you’re there for a reason.

One moment I’ll never forget happened during a meeting in London. I arrived a day early and unexpectedly joined a delegation of global leaders. Senators, parliamentary leaders—people from countries all over the world. They thought I would want to rest after my ﬂight, but I said, "No, I want to be with the people." So I introduced myself as "Dr. Betty" and shared my story—not my titles, but my life story.

In less than 30 minutes, one of the leaders texted the First Lady of their country and said, "You’re going to be the keynote speaker next year." That’s the power of showing up as yourself, sharing your imperfections, and being human.

ALLIÉ: That’s wild! Don’t you ﬁnd that when we share our vulnerabilities, that’s where authentic connection happens?

DR. BETTY: Yes, absolutely. I’ve been in rooms with people from all over the world. Last June, I was in Berlin with a group of 50 women. They asked, "Who would like to share?" and my heart started thumping. Women were sharing stories of escaping genocide, being the only survivors in their families, and I thought, "How can I add value to this?"

AwareNow Podcast

Exclusive Interview with Dr. Betty® https://awarenow.us/podcast/the-cultural-alchemist

ALLIÉ: I know titles aren’t the thing, but if there were a different title that you should have had, it might be "Chief Appreciation Ofﬁcer.”

DR. BETTY: I love that—Chief Appreciation Ofﬁcer. It’s all about creating an environment where people feel valued, respected, appreciated, and heard.

ALLIÉ: Exactly. And thank you so much for this conversation. If we could conclude with one piece of advice—what would it be?

DR. BETTY: Trust yourself and give everything away. Don’t hold back. When we hold back, we’re not holding back from others—we’re holding back from the universe. The way to make your experiences worthwhile is to share them, to lift others with what you’ve learned. My epitaph will be simple: "She made a difference.” ∎

Learn more about Dr. Betty®: www.drbettyuribe.com Follow her on Instagram: @drbettyuribe

HUMAN

+ UNITY = HUMANITY

FEATURE STORY BY JACK & ALLIÉ MCGUIRE HUMANITY HUMAN + UNITY = HUMANITY’S EQUATION

Allow us to reintroduce ourselves. We are AwareNow Media, a multimedia company devoted to supporting the human cause by uniting us all one story at a time. We are a storytelling platform dedicated to creating and sustaining positive social change as we inspire and inform with authenticity and integrity.

Rated 'O' for original & organic content, with our magazine, podcast, ﬁlms, events, and campaigns we work with industry icons and thought leaders on local, national and global levels to educate and empower an audience of millions with our tool of choice - storytelling.

Storytelling is deeply intertwined with the essence of human existence and our collective journey. At its core, storytelling is an art form that transcends mere entertainment; it serves as a powerful vehicle for empathy, understanding, and connection among individuals and communities. Through storytelling, people share their experiences, dreams, fears, and aspirations, creating a tapestry of narratives that reﬂect the diversity and complexity of human life. One of the fundamental reasons storytelling is crucial to people is its ability to foster empathy and perspective-taking. When we listen to or share stories, we step into the shoes of others, experiencing their joys, sorrows, triumphs, and challenges. This process expands our emotional horizons, deepens our empathy, and broadens our understanding of the human condition.

By engaging with stories, we learn to appreciate different viewpoints, cultures, and experiences, bridging the gaps that often divide us. Moreover, storytelling plays a pivotal role in advancing ‘the human cause’ by igniting conversations, challenging norms, and inspiring change. Throughout history, stories have been catalysts for social movements, driving awareness, activism, and advocacy for various causes, from civil rights to environmental conservation. Stories have the power to galvanize individuals and communities into action, mobilizing collective efforts towards a more just, equitable, and sustainable world. In essence, storytelling is not merely a form of entertainment or communication; it is a profound act of human connection, understanding, and transformation. It reminds us of our shared humanity, encourages us to embrace diversity, and empowers us to envision and strive for a better future, united by the threads of our stories.

With over 1,300 personal stories & exclusive interviews published, 8,000,000+ readers informed & inspired every month, 50 Official Ambassadors and 44 Official Columnists, AwareNow Magazine amplifies voices that embody the human cause. We keep AwareNow free to engage and empower millions. A platform of the people, by the people and for the people, AwareNow is our gift to humanity.

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NATHANAEL COLE ENTREPRENEUR & SPORTS/MUSIC MANAGEMENT

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NATHANAEL COLE

SILENT CRY FINDING POWER IN PAIN & PURPOSE IN STRUGGLE

Nathanael Cole’s life embodies perseverance, transforming challenges into opportunities. From his early struggles to his rise as an entrepreneur and being one of the team members with the Chicago Sky’s success, his journey is ﬁlled with unspoken battles—a silent cry for those who’ve faced adversity. In this conversation, Nathanael shares the hidden strength behind his success and the deep purpose that drives him forward.

ALLIÉ: Let’s start by looking back. It’s good to look forward, but when you reﬂect on your upbringing and the challenges you faced without traditional parental support, how did you ﬁnd the strength to keep pushing forward? And what part of that journey still lives with you today in the way you lead and live?

NATHANAEL: Good question. Growing up, my grandmother instilled a lot of prayers, teachings, and principles in me. Today, I still use those principles she taught. It was all about prayer and growing spiritually. My grandmother was from the South, and for her, it was simple: go to work, go to church, and go home. Those were the guiding principles. So, when I faced challenges, I’d think, "What was I taught? What principles were instilled in me at an early age?" And I

COLE ENTREPRENEUR & SPORTS/MUSIC MANAGEMENT

NATHANAEL

“I lost friends to gun violence as a teenager, and some to suicide. It was traumatic.”

ALLIÉ: Absolutely, there are so many chapters to your story. In your journey from working with Congressman Bobby Rush to helping shape the success of the Chicago Sky, was there a moment that made everything feel worth it? Something that reminded you why you ﬁght so hard for your vision and community?

NATHANAEL: Wow. That’s a good one. I think it was when I signed the contract with the Chicago Sky under my business name, Genesis Consulting. At that point, I had already started a company focused on events and logistics, and when the Sky won the championship, I knew my sleepless nights were paying off. Working with the congressman was another moment—going from community work to government work felt huge. And when I was offered the contract with the Sky, right when they were about to win, I thought, "This is it." My tears and silent pain had been leading to this moment. I knew it was about to happen; I just had to keep pushing.

ALLIÉ: And that’s what we hope and pray for, right? When you take that leap of faith, and you keep leaping, it feels like the wind ﬁnally catches you.

NATHANAEL: Exactly. You just keep pushing. Growing up in a community like mine—Roseland in Chicago, one of the toughest neighborhoods—it was life-changing to see how far I’d come. You wonder if you’ll make it to 15, and then suddenly you’re getting calls from places that seemed so far out of reach. That’s when I knew things were happening.

ALLIÉ: Let’s talk about where you grew up. You’ve endured a lot, speciﬁcally when it comes to gun violence. Can you share what kind of loss you’ve experienced in your life and in your community?

NATHANAEL: I grew up in Roseland, on the South Side of Chicago. It was a high-crime, high-drug area with a lot of gang activity. I lost friends to gun violence as a teenager, and some to suicide. It was traumatic. You’d go to school or a work program, and someone wasn’t there—not because they overslept, but because they’d been murdered. Others were beaten by police. It was tough to lose friends to violence at such a young age, and then you have to deal with that trauma. These experiences shape you, and they create a silent cry. You wonder, "Will I ever make it out of this darkness?" I want to be that beacon of light for others. I want to show them that if I made it, they can too.

ALLIÉ: I imagine going through those kinds of traumas makes the relationships you can hold onto even more meaningful. Speaking of relationships, you and I met about 10 years ago during the Hollywood Film Festival days, and it speaks to your character that you’ve maintained relationships over time. As an entrepreneur, you’ve undoubtedly faced moments of doubt and struggle. Can you share a time when everything felt uncertain and how you found the strength to keep going when giving up seemed easier?

NATHANAEL: Yeah, there was a period about five or six years ago when I received call after call telling me it was my last day on various jobs, contracts, and consulting gigs. Everything seemed to fall apart all at once. I lost my car, my apartment, and a lot of money. It was one of the darkest times in my life. But I reflected back to when I was a child— four or five years old—and we had to move from Chicago. I was traumatized then, too, but I made it through. I thought, "If I made it through that, I can make it through this." At that point, the only thing left was my faith in God. Everything else was gone. The pain was real. I had to hold onto the principles I was taught. That’s what sustained me.

ALLIÉ: It’s interesting how sometimes to move forward, we have to go back to the beginning.

Exclusive Interview with Nathanael Cole https://awarenow.us/podcast/the-silent-cry

NATHANAEL: Exactly. You have to go back to the genesis, which is why I named my business Genesis Consulting. Everything starts in the beginning, and if we start right, we’ll end right. In that moment, I had to hold onto that new beginning because I had nothing else.

ALLIÉ: You carry an incredible load of responsibilities, yet you remain so grounded. How do you maintain a sense of peace and purpose? Where do you go mentally and emotionally to refuel when you feel drained?

NATHANAEL: This is a great question. My secret place is the movie theater. I love movies—especially long, two-hour ones. It’s my escape. I also love to skate, and, funny enough, I’m obsessed with cherry Twizzlers. When I have those, I’m in a good place. I also believe in therapy and having conversations with people I trust. When you're being pulled in so many directions, you have to ﬁnd time for yourself. Sometimes I’ll get a manicure or take a break, and that recharges me to keep going. We all need help, too.

ALLIÉ: I love that. It’s about recognizing when you need a pause. Whether it’s Twizzlers or something else, we all have our small, simple pleasures that keep us grounded.

NATHANAEL: Exactly. And to even know that about yourself, you have to learn who you are. A lot of people don’t take the time to do that. If it weren’t for God and the church, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation today.

ALLIÉ: Let’s talk about your book The Silent Cry. What does it mean, and what’s it about?

NATHANAEL: The Silent Cry is a memoir about my life. The "silent cry" refers to the behavior people exhibit when they’re struggling silently. It’s a cry for help that goes unnoticed by most, but it’s loud and clear to those who’ve been through the same experiences. In the book, I talk about my experiences and the behaviors that come from trauma. There’s a story in the book about a teacher who put me in a closet during class when I was in sixth grade. That experience was so traumatic, but no one ever asked me if I was okay. It’s moments like that which build up over time, and I want this book to serve as a tool for teachers, staff, and others to stop and ask, "Are you okay?" before jumping to conclusions. It’s about creating space for healing by addressing the layers of trauma. ∎

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LORI BUTIERRIES AUTHOR, NAVY VETERAN & MOTHER OF 2 WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

‘SCARRED NOT BROKEN’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LORI BUTIERRIES

I’VE CHANGED TRAUMA’S SILVER LINING

I’ve changed.

Trauma does that to you.

War, losing a baby, raising a medically fragile child with a terminal illness, and parenting a child with an Intellectual Disability & Autism have all taken their toll on me.

Everyone’s journey is different, but these are the experiences that have shaped me.

I could recount every heartbreaking or terrifying moment, but I don’t want to relive them.

The nightmares are enough.

Even though I live in a constant state of exhaustion, wrestling with depression, I’ve come to realize that being different isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I may not be as carefree as I once was, but I’ve grown more considerate and compassionate, which I prefer.

In fact, I can honestly say I like the person I’ve become more than the person I was before all the pain.

It’s an unexpected but deeply appreciated silver lining.

LORI BUTIERRIES

Author, Navy Veteran & Mother of 2 with Special Needs www.awarenessties.us/lori-butierries

LORI BUTIERRIES is a full-time caregiver to two children with special needs, one child being terminally ill and physically disabled. Lori uses her life experiences and the medical knowledge she gained while serving as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy to help others facing similar hardships. Lori focuses primarily on advocating for and educating others about the special needs, mental health, and veterans communities. Her long-term goal is to reduce the stigma associated with disability by talking about it with people of all ages, thus minimizing the fear and the mystery attributed to the unknown in this regard.

NADINE CROCKER FILMMAKER, WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF CONT;NUE

Photo Credit: Saint K. Photography

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW W/NADINE CROCKER, KEVIN & MARGARET HINES BY ERIN MACAULEY

CONT NUE

A CONVERSATION ON MENTAL HEALTH, SUICIDE & A FILM THAT COULD SAVE LIVES

The film CONT;NUE is a real, raw and harrowing look at mental health and suicide. As a suicide attempt survivor myself, this film depicted so many things I went through after my attempt, so it feels very personal to me. Written, directed and starred in by the enormously talented Nadine Crocker, this film is a must see for everyone with its messages of hope, connection, love and suicide prevention laced throughout the movie. In this conversation, I speak with Nadine, along with executive producers, Kevin & Margaret Hines.

Before we begin, for those who don’t know what the semicolon (;) is all about… The semicolon (;) is a symbol of hope, strength, and solidarity in the mental health community. It symbolizes a continuation of someone's life, a choice to continue as opposed to quit.

ERIN: This movie is based on real life events. How hard was it for you to go back to these places to recreate it on screen for the ﬁlm?

NADINE: I will not pretend it was a walk in the park by any means; a role like this, in a dark and gritty film like CONT;NUE, would have been challenging for anyone. The fact that many of these events, scenes, and conversations are from my real life definitely brings a different weight, pressure, and fear into diving back into those years. But the difference between then (when I was 23) and now is I have tools in my toolbox and a community that loves me and supports me on set and in my life. So I wasn’t afraid to get lost in the darkness I was revisiting. But it was de finitely a challenge, but it was also cathartic and healing in so many ways. In a way, the film became a mirror for me, reflecting my past and allowing me to confront and process my own experiences but with new eyes, Dean’s eyes. There is a difference between revisiting the darkness and being lost in it. I was no longer lost. I was looking for those who had lost themselves with a hand to lead them through the darkness, which I know very well, and survived. Before every shot, I would pray that whoever needed to see this scene would let me be the vessel for this message. So, it takes it from draining to empowering when you make it less about yourself and the filmmaking of it all and more about who you hope it will help. Feeling like what you are giving and experiencing is for someone else and being of service has much more meaning. So yes, it was hard, but it was worth every second. Especially now that the film is in the world and receiving such an overwhelmingly warm reception, people are sending me their stories and how the film helped them. What more could you ask for?

ERIN: Why was this ﬁlm so important to you to take on the role of Executive Producer?

MARGARET: Executive producing this film was important to Kevin and I because we believe that amplifying the voices of lived experience is critical to helping people find hope and healing. This particular story depicts truth in pain and hope. Film is a great way to scale that conversation and share the story. There is no doubt in my mind that this film will leave people thinking about it for quite some time after they’ve seen it and re flect on the importance and relevance of empathy and education in the world today.

Poster Credit: James Dimmock

“Many did not believe the world was ready to speak about mental health and suicide prevention; it was a taboo subject. But clearly, I disagreed…”

ERIN: As a suicide survivor and the world’s leading suicide prevention and mental health advocate, was it dif ﬁcult for you to watch the more harrowing scenes in the movie including those of suicide? Did it take you back to the day or your attempt?

KEVIN: As a suicide attempt survivor, it actually was difﬁcult to watch the more harrowing scenes, including the attempt in the movie. While it did in part, bring me back to the pain I’d experienced, it was important to push through because I believe that just because something is difﬁcult it can also be necessary for healing and resilience building. This movie also reminded me as it will remind so very many attempt survivors that they are not alone in their pain. I receive thousands of messages annually from people that have heard my story or seen my story and they always think me for sharing my story because it reminded them that they are not alone.

ERIN: This movie shows so many themes including mental illness and suicide and what it can take from you, but also what it can ultimately give if you choose to live. Was it difﬁcult portraying these issues on screen in a way that would capture the audience and make them understand the importance of suicide prevention?

NADINE: Yes, it was challenging for many reasons. We had to fight so hard to create a film on this topic that was met with turbulence and adversity. Many did not believe the world was ready to speak about mental health and suicide prevention; it was a taboo subject. But clearly, I disagreed, so my husband and I invested every dime and carried this film and mission like a torch with our producing partner, Jay Seals! Despite the obstacles, we persevered, and the Universe brought us people like Kevin and Margaret to help us along the way. But finding the right team to distribute

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NADINE CROCKER FILMMAKER, WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF CONT;NUE

Photo Credit: James Dimmock

“I think the world evolved as well, and after the pandemic, we all became a lot more ready to speak about it and damn tired of losing people we loved to suicide.”

NADINE: (cont;nued) this film to the world took years. The second I met Barry Brooker, I knew Lionsgate/ Grindstone Entertainment was my partner for this film! Barry supported the mission and cause and believed in me so much! He has been such a support in my life. Only because of him and Amelia Rogers is the world finally seeing this film, their bravery, and support to tackle this subject!

But it was also difficult at times to know the balance of what was too much or too little to show. I wanted to make a film that didn’t pull punches and went head-on. But that can also be a lot for a person to go through and watch, and believe it or not, 23 was even darker than this film for me. I had to stick to my voice and find a balance I believed in and was ready to fight for! I was 10 years younger when I started writing this film. So, I feel like our knowledge, taste, and style evolve and change through the years. This journey of creating the film has been a personal one, and I think I honored the young woman who experienced these years, the young woman who wrote these words, and the woman I am now 5 years the senior who shot this film. I think the world evolved as well, and after the pandemic, we all became a lot more ready to speak about it and damn tired of losing people we loved to suicide.

ERIN: There is a scene in the movie where Dean and her friends are at the Golden Gate Bridge. This seems to be where Dean’s new life really starts. Do you feel that your new life started that fateful day you jumped from the bridge and were saved by a sea lion?

KEVIN: As Dean‘s new life started at the Golden Gate Bridge, a new chapter for me began there as well. I would have many chapters in my life, following that attempt a great many ups and downs and an inde ﬁnite amount of struggles. I had to grow up really fast after that! I was forced to face my demons or else I would end up back at the Golden Gate Bridge so in a sense I became a new man that day, but my new life started a bit later when I met the love of my life and my very best friend Margaret, who is now my wife of 17 years.

ERIN: What message did you really want to push through to the viewers about the topics in this movie?

MARGARET: The messages I think that are very important with this ﬁlm for the audience to take away are Stay. Don’t miss out on the potential for a beautiful life. More importantly, you're not alone. A lot of people are going through what you’re going through so please reach out and ﬁnd somebody to connect with. Please stay, things will get better.

ERIN: Not since Girl Interrupted have we seen a movie that really shows what it’s like to suffer mental illness and suicide, but also the connections you make while being institutionalised. How important was it for you to show that real connection can be found in your darkest moments when you really have hit rock bottom?

NADINE: I mean, that was my message, that is what I’ve found, that’s one of the things that saved my life. Connection, friendship, community. We have to put ourselves out there and ask for help. Do the work to heal. Professional help was a crucial part of my journey. It's not a sign of weakness, but a brave and important step towards healing and it can bring beautiful people into our life. For instance not just the people I found after my darkest times, but also while creating this ﬁlm about my suicidal depression. I would have never found friends like Margaret and Kevin, Rachel Bilson and Olivia Allen, and so many others that make my life whole. You have to ﬁnd people who support the work that needs to be done and are healthy for us. Connection and love are all we have in this world to combat the darkness of depression and suicidal ideation. We have NO IDEA of the twists and turns our lives will take,

KEVIN HINES AUTHOR, SPEAKER, FILMMAKER & SUICIDE PREVENTION ADVOCATE

NADINE: (cont;nued) the people we will meet, and the people we will love. You have no idea how many paths your one life affects. The only way to know and ﬁnd out is to CONT;NUE. I would have never been a wife or a mother, an advocate, a friend. It took years of hard work , but eventually, I found Rock Bottom Can Be a Beautiful Place To Start.

ERIN: There is an overarching message of hope throughout this movie. Kevin, as someone who says Hope Helps Heal, how were you able to ﬁnd the ways to show that through the ﬁlm?

KEVIN: While hope may not be an action plan, it sure as hell has saved a lot more lives than therapists and doctors. There is a tremendous amount of data to suggest that hope is one of our greatest life saving tools. It is the stepping stool to moving forward no matter the pain you might be in. If you can ﬁnd hope in your darkest of hours, you can continue… That’s the true message of this movie!

ERIN: Reaching out for help in your darkest hour is also something that’s important about this ﬁlm. What would you say to people who feel like they are at rock bottom and have nothing to live for about seeking help?

NADINE: I would say that our minds are sick sometimes; they tell us stories that aren't true. I'm alone, my life doesn't matter, it will never get better, I'm a burden, and they'd be better off without me. But the truth is, we're just sick. Most realize this isn't the truth when we're in a healthy place. If your friend was ill with cancer, would you think twice if they sought help? We'd ask what doctors they saw and if they got a second opinion. What can be done? We'd likely take them to their doctor's appointments, and we would pray they would FIGHT TO LIVE? So why would we believe any different for mental illness? It is not weak to need a doctor or professional's help. It shows strength, grit, tenacity, and a desire to LIVE to seek help. You are not weak for ﬁghting for your life; you are a survivor!! I will do whatever it takes to live this life and stay healthy for myself, my son, and the people I love, including admitting when I am not okay. Anyone who doesn't understand this or makes you feel otherwise likely should not be in your life. Sometimes, I've had to say goodbye to people I love in order to be healthy. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selﬁsh, it's necessary.

ERIN: Was it difﬁcult for you to produce this because of what happened in Kevin’s life or did it give you the ammunition to really want to push forward and show people there is a way out?

MARGARET: Supporting the movie as an executive producer was easy for us because of talent and heart. I think viewers will see that in the ﬁrst 10 minutes of the ﬁlm. In addition to the beautiful cinematography and storyline, the message for us is the most important thing. It is one of hope and resilience. Kevin and I jump in any opportunity we get to be able to scale that message. We are grateful and honored to be part of this project.

ERIN: How important was it for you to show the intricacies of family dynamics when you’re struggling but also when you come through the other side?

NADINE: Family is complicated and messy, and it was something I really wanted to elevate and talk about in this ﬁlm. I've personally experienced the impact of family dynamics and childhood trauma, and I know many of you have, too. Some of us have acceptance from our family, and some do not. So I wanted to speak to that! We love family more than anything, but they can also be a considerable source of pain and our most incredible joy. Some of us must develop boundaries and separate ourselves from our families. No matter who you are, you likely have experienced turbulent times within your family, and so has mine. This is why it was necessary to discuss, elevate, and examine. Some of it was inspired by relationships in my family and life, from conversations I had and conversations I wish I had. Everything that ended up in this ﬁlm was very intentional and was to discuss things we don't discuss enough.

ERIN: Why was it so important for you to be so involved in this ﬁlm?

KEVIN: There’s a lot of debate in the Suicide Prevention world about discussing method, etc., etc. I believe in safe and responsible storytelling in order to prevent suicides, but I also believe in effective storytelling. I stand behind this ﬁlm as an effective story of Suicide Prevention and education. We have to talk about suicide in order to prevent it. It is impossible to cure cancer and prevent it if we don’t talk about Cancer. Suicide is not immune to that same philosophy. We should not fear these conversations like we used to fear conversations about breast cancer, because it just delays research and science and prevention which it did for breast cancer for many years. Once we started being less fearful of talking about breast cancer and normalizing the conversation, we put a lot more resources into research and development for breast cancer, thus resulting in breakthrough treatments. The same needs to happen for suicide prevention and behavioral health. The fact is effective storytelling is innovative and saves lives.

KEVIN HINES AUTHOR, SPEAKER, FILMMAKER & SUICIDE PREVENTION ADVOCATE

ERIN: This movie doesn’t sugarcoat the issues of mental illness and suicide which is becoming a major crisis worldwide. How did the three of you work together with others involved in the film to ensure that these topics were handled with care but also the messages of love, connection and hope?

NADINE: Kevin and Margaret came on after the film was completed, I think what attracted them to CONT;NUE was that I didn’t pull punches and was honest, but I also interjected hope everywhere I could. That the darkness was intentional and the film was in service of my greater mission, and as survivors, friends, and advocates it was a message they supported, believed in, and wanted to elevate. So while I was not lucky enough to have them by my side during production, which would have been so helpful, I had their support and guidance through the festival circuit and release! Our connection was divine; not just how we were brought together, but also the spiritual connection we had instantly upon meeting. It’s clear God had a plan and gave me the support and friends I needed by my side for this journey. Kevin, Margaret, and I are creating our many projects together now. The truth is CONT;NUE is just the beginning.

ERIN: It’s a real, raw and harrowing look at mental illness and suicide. Nadine, you really pushed for this movie to be made and made producers see why it was so important. How does it feel to now have your story playing out in this amazing film?

NADINE: Surreal: My only hope through the creation of this film was that it would connect with even one person and help them in their darkest moment. The flood of messages, love, and support from those who have watched it and found it helpful has been beyond my wildest dreams. I prepared for the reviews and braced myself for the good and bad, but I could never have anticipated or prepared for this overwhelming love and support I am receiving. It’s been better than a dream; I still cannot believe that suicidal depression and nearly losing my life would be the catalyst to some of the most beautiful moments of my life. CONT;NUE has changed my life and brought so many of the closest people to me. I am deeply grateful for this experience. Through writing this story to help change other's lives and help them, I changed my own and healed as well.

ERIN: What would all three of you say to somebody who has hit rock bottom and sees suicide as their only way out?

NADINE: I’m really sorry that you feel this way right now. I know how painful it feels. I’ve been there, too. But remember, these years could be the catalyst for the lessons or realizations that will change your life. You have no idea how much your life can change in a blink of an eye. I urge you to reach out to someone you can trust who makes you feel seen and safe and tell them how you feel. Take ONE right-indicated action, which is a contrary action, and keep doing that every day. One day at a time, one breath at a time, you will witness your life change and the people you trust pulling closer to you and supporting you. If you don’t have anyone close that you can trust, find a mental health care professional in your area, go to an AA meeting, call 988. There are people who care all around you and who love you; you just might not have met them yet. The only way to get through it is one step at a time and to Cont;nue. You are not alone, your life matters! I love you.

MARGARET: Nothing is permanent, including this pain that you’re in. Fight for yourself. Find a way to have a life worth living. You are worth it.

KEVIN: Your thoughts don’t have to become your actions; they can simply be your thoughts. They don’t need to suicide. ∎

CONT;NUE is available for download or to buy now on Amazon and Apple. Follow on Instagram: @continuetheﬁlm

Nadine Crocker (@nadinecrocker) & Kevin Hines (@kevinhinesstory)

ERIN MACAULEY

International Director of Advocacy for #SameHere Global www.awarenessties.us/erin-macauley

ERIN MACAULEY is passionate about all things mental health and is a compassionate voice for those who are struggling with mental illness. Driven to help those most in need, through her vulnerable and open blogging about her own personal struggles, she lifts up others up and gives them hope.

FEATURE STORY BY GABRIELLA MONTIEL

YOUR SAVIOR

It is not the bandage to your wounds

Nor the medicine for your illness

It is not the words that hang so delicately in the air

The words that test the water for peace

It is not the end of a long forgotten sentence

It is not relief, nor the healed heart

It cannot be your hero

It is not your savior, though it will always be your creation

Blood will stain your heart

Violence will stain your body

Grief will stain your mind

It cannot wash away the embroidery of your mistakes

Nor roll the forgiveness you wish off of your callused tongue

It cannot speak for you

It is not the hand reaching down, framed by the wings of the warm sky

It cannot be your hero

It is not your savior, though it will always be your child

So, it’s pointless

Such as laughter is pointless to grief

Such as a letter is pointless to the hand that painted its purpose in broad strokes

Such as the last word is pointless to a lifetime of sentences, so plump with the nectar of use

So full with the juice of repetition

It’s pointless

Such as stained glass is pointless to the sun

Such as a child’s dream is pointless to a memory

Is it pointless because it cannot save you?

Is it pointless because it stabs knives of light onto those shadows,

Those hidden catacombs of despair you so want to free

Is it pointless because it carves and guts out the worst parts of you

Is it pointless because it lays them in front of your feet

Because it stains your hand with the blue tenderness of remembrance

Because it ﬁlls your ears with the taste of truth

Because it reeks of you

Of your bitter individuality

Or your horrible sincerity

SAVIOR

Written and Narrated by Gabriella Montiel https://awarenow.us/podcast/your-savior

It’s pointless because it scares you

It’s pointless because it cannot be your hero

It can only walk beside you

Tugging on your sleeve to remind you of the upcoming trafﬁc

You would have missed the car

It can only watch your sorrow

Handing you a bouquet of metaphors

Their only purpose to infuse the room with the scent of isolation

It can only color the black and white lines of your empathy

It can only gather your sight to the chains at your feet

Yet it can never give you the key

It cannot be your hero

It is not your savior

But somewhere

Sometime

It made you see that you were ∎

GABRIELLA MONTIEL

Singer, Songwriter & Ofﬁcial AwareNow Ambassador for Music & Arts www.awarenessties.us/gaby-montiel

Gaby Montiel has been nationally recognized as a soulful singer songwriter. As a recording artist, Gaby performs throughout southern California and has been requested to write and record songs for social advocacy organizations like AwarenessTies and Fear of Return. In April 2023, she performed as the youngest female music artist for the national Chick Singer Night Showcase at the Ventura County chapter. She recently performed for 300 art and music high school students in the Oxnard School District for the Oxnard Performing Arts Center, leading a songwriting workshop for 89 music students. She was also selected as the youngest singer songwriter for the West Coast Songwriter Association's Winter Showcase in 2024 as well as the only youth to be selected amongst 20 globally for Successfully Magazine. www.IamAwareNow.com

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Vulnerability

is important because it connects us.

PARALYMPIC CHAMPION, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

DANIELLE CAMPO MCLEOD

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DANIELLE CAMPO

CHAMPION OF RESILIENCE

FINDING GOLD MEDAL MOMENTS

Danielle Campo McLeod is a celebrated Paralympic swimmer, keynote speaker, and resiliency expert. Diagnosed initially with muscular dystrophy and later correctly with Spinal muscular atrophy with lower extremity predominance (SMA-LED), Danielle has had her share of challenges to overcome and triumphs to celebrate. From her recordsetting performances at the Paralympic Games to her impactful advocacy work and role as a devoted mother, Danielle embodies the power of perseverance.

ALLIÉ: Danielle, your journey from being diagnosed with muscular dystrophy to becoming a Paralympic champion—I can only imagine the challenges that came with that. Can you share what was that pivotal moment during your athletic career when you realized the profound impact of your resilience, not just on your performance but on your identity and advocacy work?

DANIELLE: A wonderful question. I was so lucky, and when you talk about gratitude, I have such gratitude for the way my parents handled my diagnosis. They focused on the positives—what muscles were still good, what could I do? And

My disability wasn’t something that weighed on me… it became something I would mold, challenge, and use to push myself every day.

DANIELLE CAMPO MCLEOD PARALYMPIC CHAMPION, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

“But when I touched the wall, I knew that was the last time anyone would tell me what my body couldn’t do.”

DANIELLE: (continued) I’ll never forget one swim practice. I was much younger than the other kids who were training for the Paralympics, probably about ﬁve or six years younger. I remember watching these two boys and asking my coach, "What are they doing?" He explained that they were training for the Paralympics, which is parallel to the Olympics—the same competition, but for athletes with physical disabilities. I looked at him and said, “So I could go to the Paralympics?” He said, “Absolutely.” And I replied, “Then I want to do that workout.” He hesitated, saying, “No, no, that’s...” But I insisted, “I want to do that workout.”

I remember swimming that workout—100/50 meters, 100 times 50 meters—and it was intense. The swimmers who were about to get in the pool lined up on the side and cheered for me. I was much slower than everyone else, ﬁnishing an hour later. But when I touched the wall, I knew that was the last time anyone would tell me what my body couldn’t do. They might have ideas, but I would show them. That moment changed my identity. My disability wasn’t something that weighed on me… it became something I would mold, challenge, and use to push myself every day.

ALLIÉ: That’s such an amazing story—wow, 100 times!

DANIELLE: Yes, it was intense!

ALLIÉ: I love how you call that your “try me” moment. In looking at your talks, one thing that strikes me is your “try me” attitude instead of “why me.” I love that mindset, which has undoubtedly led to your incredible success. Let’s talk about memoirs. In Resurrections: My Will to Survive is Olympian, you share challenges and triumphs in your life. What was the most difﬁcult chapter to write, and how did reliving those experiences shape your perspective on resilience and growth?

DANIELLE: The memoir came about because people kept saying, “We prayed so hard for you, lit a candle, and we’re so happy you’re alive. You’ve got to write a book.” So I thought, “I’ve got to write my story.” But living through it and then stepping back to write about it is different.

The hardest part was going back to moments like being bullied as a kid. You don’t realize at the time that you’re building a “try me” toolkit, right? In those moments, they just suck—they’re awful. But later, you need those moments. Reliving my diagnosis and all that came with it was tough. The most dif ﬁcult part was hearing my husband’s side of the story when I was sick. I was ﬁghting for my life, and he shared things I hadn’t known.

One of the hardest things to share was the diagnosis of my middle child, Sampson, with spinal muscular atrophy. I was sitting at my co-author Marty’s table when I received that call. Walking through that while writing the book was difﬁcult. It shifted my perspective, not just as someone with a disability but now as a parent of a child with one. It was hard, but it felt important to include that part of the story, to show where we are today.

DANIELLE CAMPO MCLEOD PARALYMPIC CHAMPION, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

“It’s about being open and showing them that it’s okay to mess up.”

ALLIÉ: Living with a disability is one thing, but to know that your child will face it, too—that must weigh heavily.

DANIELLE: Yeah, it’s a different world, one we don’t talk about enough. Sometimes our greatest gifts are also our heaviest burdens, and that’s okay. I’ve conquered so much with my disability, but when it comes to my son, there are moments when I break down. I don’t want him to experience the pain I’ve been through. But this is our journey, and we’ll walk it together. I allow myself to have “real” moments with my husband where I say, “This sucks.” And that’s okay—it doesn’t mean I’m not resilient.

ALLIÉ: Yes, that’s the point we need to get to—to say, “This sucks right now,” and that’s okay. Balancing a successful career, advocacy work, and being a mother—of ﬁve children, no less—is no small feat. I have six, so I hear you 100%. How do you instill the values of perseverance and resilience in your children?

DANIELLE: We live in a unique world right now. For me, it’s all about modeling. I’m never afraid to tell my kids, “Mom is struggling right now,” or “That wasn’t my best moment, but I’m going to work hard and try better.” I celebrate successes with them—even something as small as getting all their socks on!

It’s about being open and showing them that it’s okay to mess up. We talk a lot about naming what’s bothering us and ﬁguring out what we can and can’t control. My kids joke with me, saying, “Yeah, yeah, Mom, it’s building our toolkit.” They make fun of me, but they’re hearing me.

ALLIÉ: That’s wonderful advice for any parent. What lessons have your children taught you along the way?

DANIELLE: They’ve taught me how to be real. As a social worker and athlete, I’ve spent my life training and coaching. But when these little humans came along, I threw the manual out the window! They’ve taught me to live in the moment and celebrate the little things.

ALLIÉ: Yes, the small things, like getting the socks on—celebrate those!

DANIELLE: Exactly! Nobody tells you dressing kids will be like running a circus!

ALLIÉ: As the Director of Culture and Engagement at Muscular Dystrophy Canada, you’ve raised over $5 million for neuromuscular diseases. Can you share a memorable breakthrough in your advocacy that reinforced your commitment to this cause?

DANIELLE: I’ve been involved with Muscular Dystrophy Canada for over 24 years. My relationship with them grew when I was competing. I would share my story at conferences, and it would inspire ﬁreﬁghters—one of our biggest supporters—to raise funds.

What keeps me committed is the emotional support they offer families and the research they fund for treatments and, hopefully, a cure. The progress we’ve seen in treatments over the last 20 years is incredible. That ﬂicker of hope, knowing people are walking alongside you, gives purpose to the pain.

Exclusive Interview with Danielle Campo https://awarenow.us/podcast/champion-of-resilience

“For me, it’s about being genuine and real.”

ALLIÉ: Having purpose for the pain is such a gift. Your keynote speeches blend humor with profound insights. How do you balance addressing serious topics like disability rights with keeping your audience engaged and inspired?

DANIELLE: For me, it’s about being genuine and real. I share a lot of personal stories, even the embarrassing ones. Vulnerability is important because it connects us. I like to bring humor into heavy topics because it’s okay to laugh at life’s absurd moments. My message is about connecting before we collect—holding space for people by sharing my real-life moments. ∎

As the illness set in, the dysfunction in his brain became louder than any other voice in his life, and the sparkle in his eyes slowly disappeared.

CHRISTEN WHITE MATTHEW’S MOTHER

‘BEYOND STIGMA’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY NATIONAL SHATTERING SILENCE COALITION

THE CHANCE HE NEVER HAD

MATTHEW QUINN’S STORY BY CHRISTEN WHITE

Imagine you’re in your twenties and life is pretty normal. You work at a grocery store to pay for college, earn your degree and get a good job that you love. You are enjoying the life of a young adult - working to achieve your goals.

Then one day people start shouting cruel and horrible things at you, “You idiot. What are you - a child molester? You stupid imbecile. Look how ugly you are! We can track your cell phone; we know you are a thief and a pedophile.” Police and secret government agencies are watching you, following your every move. Perhaps they are trying to kill you.

This is not a vivid imagination or “internal dialogue.” This is not “negative self-talk” or a psychological problem involving low self-esteem. For my son, Matthew Patrick Quinn, this was the onset of schizophrenia, a dangerous and neurodegenerative brain condition that causes people to see, hear, and believe things that are not real. Like most individuals experiencing a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia, Matthew perceived the auditory hallucinations as completely real. And they never stopped. For twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, he believed people were following him, yelling at him, and doing strange things.

Before the illness, Matthew was a gentle, sensitive, and kind person. He could make anyone laugh. He would hug you and you could feel the love. Aviation was his passion. He excelled in school and went on to work for an aerospace company. But as the illness set in, the dysfunction in his brain became louder than any other voice in his life, and the sparkle in his eyes slowly disappeared.

Like most people with schizophrenia, Matthew was unable to comprehend that he was sick. How do you help someone who is afraid and paranoid? You can try to encourage them to go to a doctor. But what if they can’t recognize they are ill? What if they just won’t go?

We tried everything we could to help our son. Navigating Arizona’s system for Serious Mental Illness (SMI) was extremely difficult and daunting. It was a journey that spanned ten years of Matthew’s life and included court-ordered treatment, hospitalizations, treatment facilities, and expensive private doctors. There were impossible obstacles to overcome at every turn. At times we felt like the system was working against us. Facilities assured us they could treat Matthew only to say a few months later, “There’s nothing we can do. Matthew is the kind that ends up on the streets."

The truth is, there are ways to effectively treat schizophrenia – even “treatment-resistant schizophrenia” like Matthew had. But Matthew never received the chance. He needed long-term high-efficiency antipsychotic treatment and psychosis-informed therapy in a secure facility. Only such facilities either don’t exist in Arizona or have been underfunded and cut from budgets. There simply are no (hospital) beds available for people like Matthew. We need to end this profound discrimination against treatment-resistant schizophrenia.

Without effective treatment, Matthew deteriorated into a dangerous and bizarre world where he thought he was a celebrity in a Steven Spielberg film, that Justin Bieber was stealing his song lyrics, and he became fixated on certain religions. He accused his family of lying and keeping secrets. He started knocking on neighbors’ doors and asking them strange questions. He began to “disappear” for several days at a time. We were heartbroken, distraught and terrified for our son’s safety.

988

SUICIDE & CRISIS LIFELINE

HELP IS AVAILABLE. SPEAK WITH SOMEONE TODAY.

988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), and is now active across the United States. When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are afecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH LT. RYAN LENNON

RESILIENCE IN THE RED SEA

EMBEDDED MENTAL HEALTH IN MILITARY LIFE

Lt. Ryan Lennon is a mental health of ﬁcer who recently returned from deployment aboard the USS Eisenhower in the Red Sea. He’s an advocate for the vital role of embedded mental health care in the military. Through his experiences, he can speak ﬁrst hand about the importance of connection, community, and resilience in safeguarding the mental well-being of those who serve.

ALLIÉ: As a mental health ofﬁcer embedded with the USS Eisenhower, you've had a unique vantage point on the psychological challenges faced by service members. Can you share some of the most pressing mental health concerns you've observed during your deployment and how you address them in such a high-stress environment?

LT. RYAN LENNON: Sure. Like you said, it’s a high-stress environment, a very pressure-packed situation. Everything comes to a boiling point on deployment. If you didn't take care of things beforehand, they will resurface while you’re out there fighting the good fight. A lot of these kids are 18, 19, or 20 years old—first-term sailors. They’ve never been

“I think this embedded mental health model is the future of military mental health, and it’s a step in the right direction.”

LT. RYAN LENNON: (continued) This deployment was particularly rough. It was a strict combat deployment, with no port calls, breaks, or time off. It all boiled down to what we call adjustment issues or adjustment disorders. This diagnosis is common in the military because we deal with constant change. The Israel-Hamas situation, which sparked just two days before we left, became our main focus in the Mediterranean and the Red Sea. Whether the crew liked it or not, that was our mission. It brought its own set of challenges, but we persevered and got through it.

ALLIÉ: Let’s talk about embedded mental health. It's a relatively new concept for many. From your experience, how does having mental health professionals embedded into the daily lives of service members differ from traditional methods of providing mental health care?

LT. RYAN LENNON: That’s a great question. The Navy—and I imagine other services as well—has moved away from the clinic or hospital-based mental health model, which can feel intimidating. People had to navigate the entire system: referrals, authorizations, appointment lines. With embedded mental health, you have someone like me right there with you every day. Sailors can talk to me in the passageways, at the gym, wherever.

You build a bond with the crew. When someone needs help, it’s easier to reach out. I think this embedded mental health model is the future of military mental health, and it’s a step in the right direction. For someone like me, who was previously enlisted and worked side-by-side with these sailors, it feels natural. It removes some of the stigma and makes seeking help more accessible.

ALLIÉ: I imagine the level of accessibility makes a huge difference. Just as physical health is integrated into daily life, mental health should be as well.

LT. RYAN LENNON: Absolutely. Having mental health professionals embedded is a smart move. It’s part of the deal now, and I think it’s the right direction for the military.

ALLIÉ: The phrase Connect to Protect is central to many military mental health initiatives. What does it mean to you, and how did you implement this philosophy aboard the USS Eisenhower?

LT. RYAN LENNON: Connect to Protect is all about getting out there, which ties directly into the embedded model. You walk the spaces, talk to people, and become part of the command’s fabric. The crew knows and sees you, and when you’re familiar, they’re less likely to avoid you. By doing this, you’re offering a sense of safety and protection.

It’s hard for people to step forward for themselves or others regarding mental health. But if you can connect on a basic level, you’re providing a form of protection. It becomes part of the everyday job for me, but it’s an important part that should not be overlooked.

ALLIÉ: Exactly—connection helps eliminate isolation, right? If they see you at the gym, mental health becomes more normalized and less of a segregated issue.

LT. RYAN LENNON U.S. NAVY MENTAL HEALTH OFFICER

AwareNow Podcast

RESILIENCE IN THE RED SEA

Exclusive Interview with Lt. Ryan Lennon https://awarenow.us/podcast/resilience-in-the-red-sea

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LT. RYAN LENNON: Totally. Being a regular person in the crew’s eyes helps. It’s foundational to building trust and normalizing mental health care.

ALLIÉ: I imagine deployment in high-tension regions increases feelings of isolation and anxiety. How do you, as a mental health ofﬁcer, help foster resilience and community in such a challenging environment?

LT. RYAN LENNON: That’s the difﬁcult part. Even though you’re surrounded by 5,000 people on a carrier, many still feel isolated, misunderstood, and alone. My job is to help people engage with their environment and ﬁnd resilience.

We had morale events like karaoke nights to keep spirits up. I also learned that each department has its own culture and issues, and I’d hear different things from sailors in each one. I’d try to get a sense of what the challenges were within each department based on the patients I saw.

Deployment strips life down to its essentials. I would tell the sailors, “You’re serving the United States Navy on a combat deployment—let’s be appreciative of where we are.” It’s not a place for long-term therapy, so I focus on helping them stay present and ﬁnd gratitude. Shifting their focus to the positive was key in keeping them engaged.

ALLIÉ: That’s great advice for all of us—gratitude is the attitude. Going back to a moment ago, you mentioned karaoke earlier. What’s your go-to karaoke song?

LT. RYAN LENNON: Oh man, it’s always Inside Out by Eve 6. I don’t know why, but it’s my go-to every time. I guess it’s because I’m a 90s guy!

ALLIÉ: Last question: As someone who has lived the dual roles of of ﬁcer and mental health provider, what has been your biggest takeaway regarding mental health care in the military, and how has the armed forces evolved to support the mental well-being of those who serve?

LT. RYAN LENNON: The biggest thing I’ve learned is how to be concise and impactful. In the military, mental health care is short-term and solution-focused. You rarely see patients more than a few times before they deploy or transfer. As a young clinician, you might have grand ideas of curing everyone, but the reality in the military is different.

We have to make an impact quickly because we don’t have much time with each person. It’s challenging, but it has made me a better clinician. I’ve learned to deliver as much as I can in each session and get to the heart of the issue quickly. That’s been my biggest lesson—how to be effective with limited time. ∎

As parents, every gesture carries weight, shaping the lens through which our children perceive reality.

DR. TODD BROWN FOUNDER OF THE INSPIRE PROJECT & CO-FOUNDER OF OPERATION OUTBREAK

WALK THE TALK KIDS ABSORB RACISM

Rooted in the wisdom of the late Walt Disney lies a powerful mantra: "Walk the talk." These words are more than just rhetoric. They signal that we must embody our words with action, regardless of social or professional standing. Unbeknownst to Disney, his insight resonates with how we interact with children because of how impressionable they are as they attempt to navigate the world. As parents, every gesture carries weight, shaping the lens through which our children perceive reality. This power, when wielded with intention and understanding, can help us guide our children towards a more inclusive and understanding future.

Walt Disney's principle urges us to tread with mindful intention, recognizing that our conduct has the power to shape a child's understanding of the world. We, as adults, have a crucial role to play in this process. It is our responsibility to authentically live out the values we speak of, fostering a future generation empowered by integrity, compassion, and unwavering resolve. Importantly, our actions, more than our words, significantly influence children’s perceptions of race.

The development of racial biases in children is a complex process that begins long before they enter a classroom, despite not being born with such biases. Understanding how these biases are acquired is crucial for developing comprehensive theories about implicit biases, including their origins, consequences, and potential solutions. While it may seem that racism is taught, research shows that it is more than that. It is absorbed. Classical learning theories, such as Skinnerian reinforcement (a psychological principle that behaviors are shaped by their consequences and individual behaviors can be changed through reinforcement), struggle to explain the rapid acquisition of racial biases in young children, as psychologists don’t observe explicit rewards for racist behavior. Yet, children still develop biases at a very young age.

Developmental psychologists are faced with the problem of how infants and young children effortlessly internalize behaviors, norms, and values from their surroundings. Recent experiments have focused on unraveling how racial biases are transferred from adults to children. The groundbreaking "doll study" by Mamie Phipps Clark and Kenneth Clark exemplifies how young children readily internalize racial biases, influencing their preferences and judgments from an early age. Specifically, this study using plastic dolls illustrated that African American children aged three to seven tended to prefer and attribute positive qualities to a white doll over a black one, indicating the influence of prejudice, discrimination, and segregation on the development of self-perception and racial preference.

Furthermore, research by Rebecca A. Dore illustrates how children exhibit racial biases when assessing others' pain, with these biases intensifying as children mature. The study with children aged five, seven, and ten from a predominantly white U.S. community showed a growing racial bias in perceiving pain, with by age seven a weak bias that Black children would feel less pain, and by age ten, a strong and consistent bias was observed. Even at a young age, children’s racial biases continue to develop, indicating that, again, biases are absorbed rather than explicitly taught.

A pivotal aspect of how children acquire racial biases lies in their observational social learning and imitation capabilities. Even before they can articulate themselves, human children collect mannerisms, skills, and social norms by observing others, particularly parents and teachers. Studies have shown that infants as young as 12 months old can imitate behaviors they witness, underscoring the potency of social learning from infancy.

“By unraveling the

complexities

of

racial bias

acquisition in children, society can take meaningful strides toward fostering inclusivity and equity for future generations.”

xperiments involving preschoolers shed light on how biased behaviors exhibited by adults towards specific individuals impact children's attitudes and behaviors towards those individuals and groups. Preschool-aged children demonstrate a tendency to favor individuals who receive positive nonverbal cues, indicating a bias that extends to social preferences, resource allocation, and imitation. Unintentional biases present in early care at home and in education settings contribute to children's exposure to implicit racial biases. The assignment of roles to staff members based on race fosters perceptions of power and authority, which children internalize. Research suggests that a racial or ethnic match between students and teachers may positively influence children of color academically and socially.

Parents wield significant influence in mitigating racial biases in children, although discussions about race can prove challenging. Encouraging intergroup contact and fostering friendships across racial lines is suggested as a strategy to lower racial prejudice, even if societal segregation poses obstacles. Educating teachers and parents about implicit biases and their impact on interpersonal dynamics could pave the way for a more equitable experience for all children.

As we attempt to help form children’s worldviews, we should understand that more than what we say, what we do is vital. Understanding the mechanisms through which racial biases are transmitted to children, often inadvertently, is imperative for addressing and rectifying implicit biases found in our society. We need to engage in actionable measures, i.e., our behaviors, to cultivate environments where all children can thrive, regardless of race or ethnicity. By unraveling the complexities of racial bias acquisition in children, society can take meaningful strides toward fostering inclusivity and equity for future generations. While we continue to learn more through research, it would be wise to stop and think about how we treat others. Your child and others are watching. ∎

DR. TODD BROWN

Awareness Ties Columnist

www.awarenessties.us/todd-brown

Brown is a winner of multiple education awards, including the U.S. Congressional Teacher of the Year Award, U.S. Henry Ford Innovator Award, Education Foundation Innovator of the Year, and Air Force Association STEM Teacher of the Year. Dr. Brown is the creator and founder of the Inspire Project and cocreator of Operation Outbreak, which was named the Reimagine Education Award for Best Hybrid Program in the world. He is also an Education Ambassador for the United Nations and an Educational Ambassador of the Center for Disease Control (CDC). www.IamAwareNow.com

JOEL CARTNER LAWYER, AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL ADVISOR & COLUMNIST

‘UNYIELDINGLY HUMAN’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY JOEL

CARTNER

THE NEW OLD NEVER ENDING STORY

NAVIGATING THE OPIOID CRISIS WITH CHRONIC PAIN

FORWARD:

When Allie and Jack said they were working on educational content around the opioid crisis and addiction, I knew that I had a perspective that could be useful. When I was in law school, Quinnipiac University brought together stakeholders from across the medical, legal, and governmental sectors, and of course, also brought in those who had intersected with the opioid crisis on a personal level to try and find solutions to the opioid crisis for Connecticut. I was one of a handful of students in the room because we brought something to the table. I don’t think I’ll ever forget being in the room during the first planning session (I’m 23, the oldest of the student contingent is somewhere in their late 20s) and listening to all of these officials and professionals go on and on about how there needs to be more access to treatment beds (true), but saying nothing about community supports, harm reduction strategies, or (to my more specific area of expertise, what happens to those with chronic conditions and chronic pain when you narrow access to these medications in the way these people are considering). I don’t remember which of my friends broke first, but one of us did, and what followed was a “respectfully, you’re thinking about this all wrong” conversation. And so, I wound up being slotted to speak on the day of the summit about the patient’s perspective on the opioid crisis. Unfortunately, the recording of the event has been lost to time, but what follows is the speech that I wrote.

Before we get there, though, I want to add some additional context to the speech.

First of all, I had somewhere between 3-5 minutes to fit in all that follows; I simplified some things when it came to my medical care that I’ll get into in just a second. The other big flag I want to raise is that I was able to touch as lightly on the unmitigated horror that is opioid addiction and the genuine harm these drugs can do, and mostly focus on the other side of the coin (my side of the coin being in the, not unimportant, but also minority I might add) is because my speaking spot was paired with a woman named Jackie who gave an amazing talk about her journey through addiction and recovery, and the need for community. I was also being followed by other people who had their own stories to tell so I could focus on delivering my perspective as effectively as possible because it would be balanced out appropriately.

Lastly, the way that I needed to position my access to opioids when my doctors first recognized that I could benefit from consistent access, again, was considerably condensed. It wasn’t that my doctors recognized this and boom, I had long-term access to these drugs. Even then (2013), there was hesitation over that sort of thing, and everyone was less than thrilled about placing that kind of responsibility on an 18-year-old. So, we used the fact that since I was still in post-operative care at the time, I could have access to a longer prescription that I should use very sparingly. We used the fact that I could still have access to a few shorter refills, and we used the fact that again, at the time, it was still commonplace to prescribe opioids after a wisdom tooth extraction, which would be coming for me sooner than later. All of these things together could string together a safety net for me so that with more treatment and possibly more operations, opioids could revert from “a safety net for the worst days” to a “break glass in case of emergency for the truly awful worst days.”

THE SPEECH:

Whenever I go to the doctor’s ofﬁce, the nurse always asks me the same question: “Have you fallen in the last X days?” For most people under sixty-ﬁve, the answer would be “no.” My answer, however, is always “yes.”

I was ﬁrst given morphine and subsequently prescribed opioids at the age of nine.

JOEL CARTNER LAWYER, AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL ADVISOR & COLUMNIST

Photo Credit: Alex Green

“I was ﬁrst given morphine and subsequently prescribed opioids at the age of nine.”

This is a story about my experience with Cerebral Palsy Spastic Diplegia (CP): a neuromuscular disorder that causes the brain to overproduce the neurotransmitter responsible for the contraction of your muscles. But it is also a story about the larger opioid crisis and chronic pain management. I have spent most of my life in hospitals. Through all of it I have had a long and increasingly complex relationship with opioids. Having been born with CP, my body constantly ﬁghts me. This perpetual battle has forced me to become clinical about my own condition. Yet, there is a need to humanize the complexity that is the opioid crisis. The only way that we can truly explain the opioid crisis in all its many forms and permutations is if we strip away the statistics and make this crisis an endeavor of the human experience.

We can do that by grounding our intellectual discussions in personal experience. So let us return to my doctor’s of fice. Because my answer to the nurse’s question is always “yes,” she asks me a routine follow-up: “How many times?” Again, most people would answer “once or twice.” But I am always forced to say “I don’t know”—not because I lack a good memory but because there are too many times to count. I often feel like I’m walking a tightrope. Constantly fighting my body to stay vertical, and always wary, that if I so much as shift my weight the wrong way I will topple off of my rope once again, but unlike at the circus, there is no net. A fall for me could mean an injury from which it takes weeks, months, or years to recover from. The amount of effort such control takes causes a not insigni ficant amount of pain, but this pain does not generally involve the use of opioids,...

I was ﬁrst given morphine and subsequently prescribed opioids at the age of nine. At the time, I had just had a muscle release surgery, which is a procedure that involves cutting muscles away from the bone, matching the length of the muscle to the bone, and reattaching said muscle.

There is a lot about that surgery I won’t ever forget, but perhaps the most visceral memory comes from a time where my memory is the most fractured. It comes from my time in recovery immediately after surgery. The baseline of pain was unlike anything I have ever experienced, but hard as it is to believe, that wasn’t the worst part. The baseline was every muscle they had cut was on ﬁre, screaming in protest both because of the reattachment and because, for the ﬁrst time in my life, they were being stretched to the length they were supposed to be. However, the worst part was that the rest of my body was going into overdrive, trying to protect me in the only way it knew how by curling in on itself. But my legs didn’t know how to move anymore. So every time I so much as tensed, a thoroughly involuntary reaction given the amount of pain I was in, a new wave of pain and spasms would roll through me like waves crashing against the beach during a storm.

I remember screaming and crying, begging someone, anyone, to make it stop. There were nurses there trying to keep me calm, holding my hand, telling me it was going to be ok, that something to make the pain go away was coming. I don’t know how long it went on. Minutes? Hours? I think I lost consciousness a few times; I kept opening my eyes and having to remember what was happening, which only perpetuated the cycle as the involuntary reactions would begin anew until I remembered I couldn’t move anymore. Eventually, the drugs kicked in, marked only by an end to the rolling full body spasms and the burning.

In the months that followed, opioids were my safety net, keeping me from spiraling into that horrible loop of burning and spasming again as I left the hospital, began to heal, and then learned to walk again. Then one day, I woke up to ﬁnd the baseline of pain that had acted as the undercurrent to the burning spastic loop was dimmer than it had been, and then eventually, it was gone altogether, and my need for a safety net was gone with it. This was my ﬁrst experience with opioids, but far from my last.

That is chronic pain; not every day is the worst day, but no day is the best day.

JOEL CARTNER LAWYER, AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL ADVISOR & COLUMNIST

Photo Credit: Kampratt

“The constant battle CP and I have over my body can, on its own, be enough to warrant the consistent use of opioids. However, I take opioids not just because the pain can be debilitating but rather because it impacts my ability to give anything my full attention.”

Often, when we talk about the use of opioids to deal with pain, we talk about it within the context of severe pain in speciﬁc instances. Instances like the pain I felt after surgery. However, living with CP has taught me there are more subtle and long-term reasons for taking opioids as well. The constant battle CP and I have over my body can, on its own, be enough to warrant the consistent use of opioids. However, I take opioids not just because the pain can be debilitating but rather because it impacts my ability to give anything my full attention.

Living with chronic pain is a lot like standing in line talking to someone while the people behind you are having their own, very loud, conversation a few inches from you. You can be present in your conversation, but there’s still that part of your brain that’s listening to the people behind you. The only difference is with chronic pain, it is much harder to ignore the person behind you; some days, he’s louder than others, and of course (on the debilitating days), he takes you, spins you around, and forces you to listen to him explain particle physics to his friend. That is chronic pain; not every day is the worst day, but no day is the best day. Opioids, in a perverse way, free my mind from the pain enough for me to be able to focus on the “conversations” I want to have.

For much of my life, I have been lucky. I successfully navigated on and off of opioids after my muscle release; I resumed a course of treatment that combined Botox every few months (yes that Botox) and physical therapy on a weekly basis to manage the chronic aspects of my pain. Opioids helped me through a few other rough patches, like when I fractured my ankle or strained a muscle on a few occasions, but mostly, I didn’t need them.

In my Junior year of high school, everything changed.

Because of events that started in Junior year, I was given the green light to take opioids to manage my pain for the foreseeable future. I aggravated a piece of scar tissue from the operation when I was nine, causing an incredible amount of pain. One day early in the year, it was raining, the sidewalk was wet, and I was late for class. I was speedwalking between buildings, and I suddenly lost control. I was now sliding on the wet pavement and about to slam into the side of a building. I twisted, spinning around to hit a fence next to me before tumbling onto the pavement that had so recently proved my undoing. I scrambled up and walked to class, thinking that everything was ﬁne.

I was wrong. A few days later there was this intense pain in my right knee. Even now having lived with it for eight years this September I have difficulty describing what this pain feels like. Some of the fire that my nine year-old self remembers is still there, but it’s like someone has turned a dimmer on the fire, and left a duller ache there to sit on top of the remaining flame. The bigger issue is that it never went away.

JOEL CARTNER LAWYER, AWARENESS TIES OFFICIAL ADVISOR & COLUMNIST

Photo Credit: Karolina Grabowska

My doctors tried everything, eventually, we discovered it was an aggravated piece of scar tissue. While it was nice to have an answer, it didn’t make my situation any better. I was losing focus in lessons, I wasn’t sleeping well, and I was miserable fighting a two-front war against the pain CP naturally causes, and this new scar tissue generated pain. This was my first true experience with “the guy standing behind me in line.” Still, my doctors labored, trying to find a nonsurgical, non-opioid solution to my new problem. The reasoning behind that decision was that all of my other interactions with opioids had been in finite situations; bones and muscles tend to be pretty good at healing on specific timetables, so opioids could be used to help me through the rough patches. This was a different animal, and my doctors were reluctant to put me on an opioid on such an open-ended basis. With nothing else working, my doctors scheduled me for surgery.

The results of the operation were not what we had hoped. Because of the positioning of some of the scar tissue, I would not be free of this pain unless much more invasive action was taken. So, reluctantly, my doctors green-lit the plan for me to take Oxycodone consistently.

For a while there I found a balance between when I could handle the pain I was in and when I needed Oxy to help me function. But, in my senior year of high school, things changed again; I severely strained my Abductor, the muscle that controls the upward movement of your leg. This made every aspect of my life excruciating. What was worse was that I couldn’t get my body to relax enough to give my Abductor a break, so it was almost constantly in spasm. This caused my doctors to bow to a second unpleasant truth: I needed to go on a muscle relaxer not just for the term of the injury but on a consistent basis.

Before he gave me my ﬁrst prescription for Valium, my orthopedic surgeon sat me down. He warned me that I now had two of the most addictive drugs in the world at my disposal, and that I needed to be very mindful of using them only when I needed them. Unfortunately, the reality of managing multiple prescriptions is commonplace for so many of the chronic pain patients that I have met, especially those of us who started in pediatrics; this management only adds to the complexity of the issue. For the next year, I carefully monitored my pain. I made sure to only take either set of pills when the pain or the spasms got too “loud.” But then I went to college and then law school, and things got still more complicated.

You’ve heard the “happier” side of my story, but there is a broader issue at play, access to treatment. The problem with me living anywhere other than at home and going to school is that I don’t have quick access to treatment, and it isn’t as simple as getting a referral to another orthopedic. This not only causes a problem with access to treatment, but also with the simple task of getting prescriptions refilled. For others like me, the issue is as simple as getting to treatment. If you cannot drive and you live in an area with little to no public transit how do you get back and forth to the hospital every five, ten, or fifteen days to renew your prescriptions? Sure, maybe a fifteen-day script lasts longer than fifteen days, but in my experience, knowing that my access to medication is even more limited than the number of pills in the Script did not just make me consider whether or not I truly needed the Oxy to function, but rather whether there might be a day that’s worse. My average day is a 6/10, and I generally don’t even consider taking anything unless I’m at a 7. But these days, whenever I have a 7, I find myself asking, what if there’s a day that’s an 8, or what if there’s a day that I really need to be able to think in perfectly straight lines? Will I have enough medication to see me through those days if I take something now?

Because of a lack of access to treatment, I am now living the life of people who weren’t as lucky as I was in the beginning. The people for whom Botox wasn’t effective, the people for whom prescription opioids were their only option. While sitting in hospital waiting rooms, I have seen the horrors of what opioid addiction can do; I have seen friends ﬁght their own battles with addiction. I have also experienced being in so much pain, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball, and wait to fall asleep, but I had class to go to, people counting on me, and a life to live. To escape that pain, to live my life, opioids were my only option. This issue is far reaching and complex, but hopefully by submitting as many perspectives as possible, we can address the opioid crisis more effectively.

I get asked by a lot of people how I manage to keep going… The answer to that question is one that I’ve had a very hard time getting my head around.

• I have been asked many times how I push through the pain, as though they expect me to show them some grand plan I have for dealing with my life. However, the somewhat unsatisfying answer is very little of my success in dealing with this aspect of my life has to do with me.

• For a long time, I had grown so tired of watching the people who loved me see me in pain that I began to shut down. I played it off as if it weren’t really that bad and kept going, but that is a horribly lonely. Scary. Place to be. To be honest, all of it was and is terrifying, and somehow, I was just arrogant enough to believe I could do it alone. I had few friends and I was distant with my family. It had always been my responsibility to be the stalwart, to be the one that was always ok. Then I got to law school and was hit full in the face with the reality that I could not manage both something as hard as law school and as immovable as chronic pain. Not without help.

• What I want you to take from this speech is not the dangers of polypharmacy (although you should), or the horrors of addiction and chronic pain (but you should), or even what the consequences of this epidemic have been for people like me have been. I want you to understand that community is what matters.

• I cannot tell you the number of times I have woken up with my knee at 6, 7, or an 8, my whole body screaming in pain, or spasms running through me, or all three. And all I have wanted to do is curl into a ball and go back to sleep praying that the next time I wake up, it will be better (it only sometimes is), but then the voice starts, and it says, “if you can just get up you’ll be among friends soon and then it will be easier.” Sure, it’s the drugs that throw a dimmer switch on the pain, but it’s the people that give me the strength necessary to keep going. Without them to anchor me, I’m not sure how many of those ﬁghts I end up winning. Drugs may dim the pain, but this is a ﬁght of people as much as it is anything else.

AFTERWARD:

Six years after giving that speech, so much is still the same. The opioid crisis and deaths of despair still rage across the country, and we (collectively) still largely demonize addiction, chronic pain, and certain safe and effective treatment options. Personally, my relationship with pain is somewhat different. I’m better at leaning on other people; there’s new pain in new places, but I’m also better at the mental side of pain management. But I also still have not had access to an analgesic stronger than Naproxen (Aleve, but when prescribed in this context, it is often given in higher dosages for longer) and certain topicals (to try) outside of a post-operative context. The medical literature still largely discounts the community position that when “we” say opioids are effective for chronic pain, we don’t mean for everyday use; we mean for use in the worst-case scenarios.

The good news is, the answers are still largely the same, and reachable, more and better community outreach and support. More conversations where we listen to those with lived experience. And more and better access to both medication-assisted treatment and programs, and more and better access to more powerful analgesics for those that need those too. ∎

JOEL CARTNER

Lawyer, Awareness Ties Ofﬁcial Advisor & Columnist www.awarenessties.us/joelcartner

JOEL CARTNER is a lawyer and public policy professional with Cerebral Palsy Spastic Diplegia and Retinopathy of Prematurity. Cartner has a background in public health, disability, and education law and policy. He received his J.D. from Quinnipiac University School of Law and his B.A. in Political Science from the University of North Carolina Wilmington. Cartner currently lives in Washington D.C. where he works as Director of Access Policy for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. In this role he works to ensure greater access to therapies, devices, insurance, and specialists for those with neuromuscular diseases by conceiving of and enacting public policy efforts. www.IamAwareNow.com

PAUL S. ROGERS

Photo Credit: Fauxels

‘RELEASE THE GENIE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY PAUL S. ROGERS

BREAKING THE FILTER CULTURE AN AGENCY OF AUTHENTICITY

Release the Genie Fact: The Genie knows why round pizzas come in a square box and eaten in a triangle.

In today’s hyper-connected world, where every swipe and scroll bombards us with meticulously curated images and soundbites, the term “unﬁltered” has taken on a profound meaning. It represents a call for authenticity in a world obsessed with perfection.

It is ironic that the genius and evolution of technology, which we have created to assist and enhance our lives, also brings with it a darker side. Stress related illnesses and suicides are on the increase with individuals feeling more alone, disassociated and disconnected than ever before.

I don’t envy kids growing up today. With the rise of social media platforms like YouTube, Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat, everything is instant. It has transformed how we present ourselves to the world. The overriding pressure is to see how many likes and comments you can get for content. With the holy grail: the hope your post will “go viral.¨

To ﬁnd any of the crazy stuff I did as a youngster, I would have to go and retrieve a physical photograph from my photo collection. Don’t worry, they are safely under lock and key! Nowadays, people are more interested in viewing a moment through the screen of their phone rather than actually being present in the moment.

It is no longer true that “a photograph never lies.” Filters and editing tools allow us to alter our appearances, environments, and even our realities with the touch of a button. Flaws can be erased, skin smoothed, colours enhanced, creating the illusion of a perfect life. Whilst these tools can be fun and creative, they also contribute to a ﬁlter culture that sets and then celebrates unrealistic standards and curated realities.

For many, the pressure to keep up with this idealized version of life is overwhelming. It quickly becomes an invisible real-life prison. It traps us in a downward spiral of deepening disconnection between our true selves and the personas we present online.

So what does being unﬁltered mean to me? It’s not just about skipping the photo edits; it’s about embracing your own value and worth by being authentic and honest. It’s about showing up as you are, imperfections and all, and refusing to conform to unrealistic expectations. Unﬁltered content is a breath of fresh air, it shows the messiness, struggles, and imperfections that make us human.

Unfiltered doesn’t mean being reckless or thoughtless. Unfortunately, people use the word “un filtered” to justify deliberately provocative acts, when in fact it is just poor behaviour. Instead, it’s about genuine expression, sharing what’s real rather than what’s rehearsed. This approach challenges the constant daily glossy, edited narrative. With unfiltered content, we witness people push themselves beyond expectations and achieve the impossible. Un filtered content is the only road map that truly shows how to overcome adversity.

When we see others share their vulnerabilities, it reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles. Authenticity invites empathy, and this sense of connection is invaluable. It’s comforting to know that behind the screens, we’re all grappling with similar insecurities, fears, and challenges.

AwareNow Podcast

BREAKING THE FILTER CULTURE

Written and Narrated by Paul S. Rogers

https://awarenow.us/podcast/breaking-the-ﬁlter-culture

“In the end, the most compelling and memorable stories are not the ones polished to perfection but those that reﬂect the messy, beautiful reality of being human.”

From a personal point of view, creating unﬁltered content can be liberating. There is a freedom in letting go of the need to present a perfect image and simply be me. By embracing our ﬂaws, we reclaim our power and break out of the invisible prison of external validation.

However, unﬁltered content is not without challenges. Being truly authentic requires being vulnerable. It takes great courage to put yourself and your true story out there. It opens you up to criticism and judgment. The internet, with its army of keyboard warriors, can be a harsh place. Not everyone is going to appreciate or understand the rawness of unﬁltered content. This is beautifully summarised by Denzel Washington:

“Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.”

There is a ﬁne line between being unﬁltered and oversharing. It’s important to consider boundaries and the potential impact on other’s mental health. Authenticity doesn’t mean airing every detail of your life; it’s striking a balance between openness and privacy.

So, how do we break the ﬁlter culture? By being unapologetically you! In this way, we can connect more deeply with others and ourselves. It allows us to challenge the unrealistic standards perpetuated by social media. In the end, the most compelling and memorable stories are not the ones polished to perfection but those that re ﬂect the messy, beautiful reality of being human. ∎

PAUL S. ROGERS

Transformation Expert, Awareness Hellraiser & Public Speaker www.awarenessties.us/paul-rogers

PAUL S. ROGERS is a keynote public speaking coach, transformation expert, awareness hellraiser, life coach, Trauma TBI, CPTSD mentor, train crash and cancer survivor, public speaking coach, Podcast host “Release the Genie” & best-selling author. His journey has taken him from corporate leader to kitesurfer to teacher on a ﬁrst nations reserve to today. Paul’s goal is to inspire others to ﬁnd their true purpose and passion.

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ERIN MACAULEY INTERNATIONAL DIRECTOR OF ADVOCACY FOR #SAMEHERE GLOBAL

FEATURE

STORY BY ERIN MACAULEY

SILENT WEIGHT THE BURDEN OF

PERCEPTION

I was seven when I had my ﬁrst abnormal thought about my body.

We had to do swimming lessons at school and I didn’t want to go because I thought I was too fat. How this even entered my mind at that age escapes me but it could be down to my background in competitive dancing.

In year ﬁve a girl told me I ate funny so every day from then on I would throw my food in the bin so I didn’t have to eat. It was during this time that I found out you get skinnier if you don’t eat, and that made me feel so good.

Fast forward to the teenage years and I didn’t really have any issues around food. I thought they had gone away but how wrong I was.

When I got to university I started restricting my diet. Although I was never overweight or big, I felt like I was. Couple this with working at the two best pubs and nightclubs in Perth and you have a recipe for disaster. I felt like I needed to be thinner to ﬁt in and have people notice me.

When I was 19 I moved to Melbourne. It was during this time that bulimia decided to come to the party, along with anorexia, and this is when I realised I was knee deep with an eating disorder. I would only eat a bagel a day and then throw it up after I had eaten it. I remember my dad took me to a sushi restaurant and I cried and was upset because they didn’t sell the exact kind of sushi I wanted.

At 20 I moved to Edinburgh and my eating disorder came alone for the ride. This time it was mostly bulimia that presented itself. My boyfriend at the time who I lived with knew about it but was powerless to stop it. It’s also the same time my mental illnesses reared their ugly heads so I changed a lot from the girl I was when he met in Perth, Australia, a year and a bit beforehand. Living there with undiagnosed mental illnesses and an eating disorder turned me into a complete nightmare of a person to deal with. I was angry, moody, started a ﬁght at the smallest thing and anxious. It wasn’t until years later that I realised it wasn’t me just being a crazy bitch, it was mental illness.

When I returned back from Edinburgh my eating disorder was under control a little bit, but my mental health was not. I started seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression but when I would say the medications aren’t helping, he would just increase my dose of Prozac. I started seeing a counseller about my eating disorder but they didn’t do much to help me.

Things started to get bad so I went to an organisation called The Bronte Foundation. It was founded by Bronte Cullis and her mum Jan, after Bronte successfully overcame her eating disorder, which was horri ﬁc for her. I would go and see a counseller once a week as well as a dietician. I was also in a special program where we had to face our fears about our eating disorders and mine was eating in public. Each week I would go to meet my counseller at a busy shopping centre food court and have to eat every single thing on my plate. I hated that day so much. I couldn’t see how it would help me change.

Written and Narrated by Erin Macauley

https://awarenow.us/podcast/silent-weight

Things seemed to plod along with my eating. I would not eat all day and if I did I would throw it up. Nobody seemed to notice I was losing weight because I covered it up well. I would leave my dinner in my bedroom so mum would think I had eaten it. Nobody seemed the wiser.

It wasn’t until my 30’s that things got really bad. I wouldn’t eat and my weight dropped dramatically. I was weighed one night when I was in the emergency room and I weighed 47kg. That was the lowest my weight got. My face was so thin it looked like I was permanently sucking my cheeks in and I was in a jean size that a teen would wear.

My parents tried to do everything they could to help me. They wanted me to move in with them for a little while to gain weight but I refused. I was feeling on top of the world that my weight was so low, despite how horri ﬁcally skinny I looked.

Things started to change after I was hospitalised for my mental health. I could ﬁnally see how thin I was and that I was in need of help. I still have days where I wish I weighed 47kg but I’m able to talk myself out of that. It’s especially bad at the moment as I’ve gained weight from medications and all I want is to go back to a size 24 jean size.

I’m slowly starting to accept that weight doesn’t matter, as long as I’m mentally well. It’s very hard and I struggle with it daily but I don’t ever want to get to a place again where I’m so skinny I need to shop in the kids section. When you’ve lived with the voice of anorexia for so long it’s hard to switch it off. But I’m able to ﬁght it a little bit better now so I am healthy, not super skinny and unhealthy. ∎

ERIN MACAULEY

International Director of Advocacy for #SameHere Global www.awarenessties.us/erin-macauley

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‘PEQ PERFORMANCE’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY SONJA MONTIEL

FROM BREAKDOWN TO ADVOCACY

THE JOURNEY OF BERENISE GUERRERO

In the face of life’s toughest challenges, some individuals emerge not only as survivors but as active symbols of hope and advocates for change. Berenise Guerrero, a cancer survivor at the age of 33, embodies this spirit. Her journey from a college student to an educator and advocate for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the positive impact of community and the power of education advocacy.

Berenise’s story begins in 2013, during her senior year of college. Just one semester away from graduation, she was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. The diagnosis came as a shock, and the subsequent months were a whirlwind of treatments, including a bone marrow transplant in early 2014. “It was about ﬁnding the strength and meaning when everything was falling apart,” Berenise recalls. This mindset didn’t come overnight; it was a lesson learned through the constant breakdowns and the realization that every end is a new beginning.

For Berenise, the journey was not just about surviving cancer but about rede ﬁning her life. “I had to grieve the person I was before cancer and learn who I was becoming,” she explains. This process involved letting go of societal timelines and creating her own path. It was a journey of self-discovery, where she learned to appreciate the small moments and ﬁnd pockets of hope even in the darkest times.

Six months after Berenise had a bone marrow transplant, she returned to college and graduated. Not wearing wigs much, she was known as the bald girl on campus. People would stare, curious about her look, but as Berenise shared, “It wasn’t just a look—it was part of my journey with cancer.” The stares made her uncomfortable at times, but she knew that part of her healing, both inside and out, was to face all of her challenges head on.

One of the most profound practices Berenise adopted was starting each day with a smile. “I wake up and go to the mirror and smile at myself,” she shares. This simple act of self-care became a cornerstone of her daily routine, a reminder to appreciate herself and start the day on a positive note. Berenise knows that if she cannot smile at herself for all that she is and had overcome, she will not be able to smile for others. She chooses herself ﬁrst, each and every day. It’s a practice she invites others to try since she knows the impact a smile can have on one’s day.

Becoming an Advocate

Berenise’s involvement with LLS began shortly after her diagnosis. She and her family participated in the Light the Night event, a community walk that symbolizes hope and support for those affected by cancer. Holding a white lantern as a survivor while seeing others hold either red lanterns (supporters) and gold lanterns (memories of loved ones lost to cancer), Berenise felt a profound sense of community and purpose. This experience led her to volunteer, intern, and eventually work for LLS. “I immersed myself into the cancer community,” she says. However, she also recognized the need to step back and rediscover her identity beyond being a cancer survivor. Through time, healing and reﬂection, Berenise acknowledged that her core virtues of compassion, resiliency, justice and assertiveness truly deﬁned how she shown up for herself and others, and how she will educate and bring awareness within the LLS community and beyond.

BREAKDOWN TO ADVOCACY

Narrated by Berenice Guerrero

https://awarenow.us/podcast/from-breakdown-to-advocacy

Today, Berenise continues to advocate for cancer patients and survivors, sharing her story to inspire others. She hopes for a world where a cancer diagnosis is not something to fear but something where the condition is manageable through medical advancements and caring professionals. Through her work with LLS, she continues to foster open conversations about cancer and support those affected by it.

Berenise Guerrero’s journey is a powerful reminder that even in the face of life’s greatest challenges, there is always hope. Her story of resilience, self-discovery, and advocacy serves as a reminder that through the toughest of times, those who go through them, can become our greatest teachers. ∎

To learn more about Berenise and LLS: https://www.instagram.com/itsbere_ https://www.instagram.com/llsgreaterla https://www.instagram.com/llsusa

SONJA MONTIEL

Co-Founder of PEQ Performance Consulting www.awarenessties.us/sonja-montiel

SONJA MONTIEL (MA Education) is a cofounder of PEQ Performance Consulting LLC and cohost of “The DH Effect” podcast. She and her partner, Hilary Bilbrey, guide individuals, families, and teams to consistently reach successful outcomes through positive and emotional intelligence strategies. During Sonja’s 23 years working with thousands of teens and young adults worldwide, she began to witness many societies creating an unhealthy hyper-achieving culture that misguides our young people in their pursuit of living a life of fulﬁllment. Sonja is changing that narrative highlighting educators around the world who dare to think differently about education. (www.peq-performance.com)

www.IamAwareNow.com

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CATHY MCKINNON ADVOCATE, AUTHOR, COACH & MOTHER

Photo Credit: Akash Wadhwani

PERSONAL

STORY BY CATHY MCKINNON

JUST SPEAK

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: IMPACTS BEYOND

If not me, then who?

THE VOICE

I’ve asked myself this question probably a thousand times and can never ﬁnd an answer that sits right with my soul beyond speak; speak for those who cannot, speak for those that face harm, speak for those who fear retaliation, and speak for those that aren’t strong enough yet. Just speak!

How can I stay silent on something that continues to impact more than we realize including our children; the innocent beings who did not choose to be impacted.

Society tells us to continue the dissolution that the truth should not come to light. We continue to build upon our traumas by attempting to silence the truth and facts with fear and intimidation further delaying healing as well as cascading impacts through generations.

I am shocked and heartbroken by statistics around domestic violence knowing they are underreported by those that are too fearful to speak and a system that pushes women to not report the incidences, by publicly shaming, gaslighting and simply bullying them.

The statistics continue to climb despite all those who courageously ﬁght against a system stacked against them.

• 1 in 3 women have experienced some form of physical violence by a partner.

• On a typical day, local domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 19,159 calls, an average of approximately 13 calls every minute.

Our society creates an environment where there is silence in the darkness, where we cannot change what is not brought to light and what is more damming is the unspoken impact creates waves of trauma that is very real and is rarely acknowledged.

For every incident of domestic violence (whether or not reported, staggering numbers show almost 75% of domestic violence is not reported often out of fear) there is an unmeasurable number impacted. The survivor, their children, their family, their friends, their coworkers; the list goes on.

Domestic violence issues lead to nearly 8 million lost days of paid work each year, the equivalent of over 32,000 fulltime jobs; leaving coworkers and corporations to cover the gap.

Survivors are 3 times as likely to meet the criteria for PTSD. PTSD leaves them moving in robot mode for their children, experiencing ﬂashbacks at the most inconvenient times. Frozen in survival mode domestic violence survivors spend hours sleeping instead of being the present and active parent they were before the abuse.

The most heart wrenching statistics are of those innocent bystanders caught in the wake of Domestic Violence. Domestic violence creates a violent and hostile environment that can have devastating effects on children, both physical and emotional. Children who have been exposed to domestic violence can become fearful and anxious, concerned for themselves, their siblings and their parents.

CATHY MCKINNON ADVOCATE, AUTHOR, COACH & MOTHER

Photo Credit: Akash Wadhwani

Children exposed to domestic violence may have difﬁculty paying attention in school, experience depression and withdrawal.

• The National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence found that 1 in 15 children in the United States had been exposed to physical partner violence in the previous year and 5.7% were exposed to psychological partner violence in the previous year.

• Approximately one in ﬁve children witness partner violence in their lifetimes.

• Children who witness intimate partner violence growing up are three times as likely as their peers to engage in violent behavior and to be engaged in a variety of violent and non-violent crime.

• Children raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an appropriate way to solve con ﬂict. These children are more likely than their peers to be in abusive intimate partner relationships in the future, either as victims or perpetrators.

• Children who witness incidents of domestic violence (a form of childhood trauma) are at greater risk of serious adult health problems including obesity, cancer, heart disease, depression, substance abuse, tobacco use and unintended pregnancies than peers who did not witness domestic violence.

The long-term impacts of domestic violence on children are not given the light of day. The reality is children feel, see, hear, and know more than they let on and as a parent one can only make up excuses or stories so many times until that little child just knows that something isn’t right. The ﬁnancial, emotional, and energetic impacts are felt by the child; someone who did not ask for any of this. At the end of the day the children’s wellbeing seems to be completely disregarded by the abuser who is more concerned with their ego and the system who is too busy failing to hold those accountable while simultaneously ignoring the human element.

In my research, the number of times survivors are talked AT, TOLD how they feel, TOLD what they are thinking, and ASSUMPTIONS made is sickening. Domestic violence survivors are humans who have experienced a traumatic event, not robots or numbers in a system. The reality is that this dismissive treatment impacts the healing process and therefore the survivors’ ability to show up for their children, their employer, their community.

The amount of gaslighting, bullying and brushing facts under the rug that occurs in many domestic violence cases escalates danger and crime rates, instead of accountability, therefore perpetuating the vicious cycle and creating layers of trauma.

As a society what we keep hearing repeatedly throughout the various stories is “Be Better”- from the abusers to the responding ofﬁcers, to those making excuses and defending the behavior. It begs the question, how is denying truth and facts making our society safer for the next generation?

The impacts of domestic violence last long after the actual incident and many times are drawn out by the legal system that insists victims rehash the story repeatedly breaking open the wound, especially when there are children involved. We have to acknowledge that wounds do not heal when they are continuously ripped open reliving the day that will be forever engrained in a survivor’s memory. Survivors cannot begin to heal and move forward when they are asked to relive the events that give them ﬂashbacks, nightmares, and anxiety attacks.

When does it end that victims are silenced and intimidated; their children, our future, enduring long term effects?

An overwhelming majority of domestic violence survivors can count on one hand the number of people (including law enforcement) who asked them “Are you safe?” “Are you ok?” “Do you need anything?” “I’m here for you, even just to listen” and that just has to change. Whether we know, understand, or make assumptions the reality is that these are humans who are going through a traumatic experience while they are trying to continue their lives, many going through the motions of parenting while juggling the complexities of dealing with the legal system. Domestic violence survivors are expected to go through the motions robotically while they calm the tornado of chaos that was brought into their lives, left to clean up the pieces, many times in isolation.

We are all human and until you are in the environment, until you are in their shoes, until you are the one enduring the abuse it is all too easy to cast judgement, shame and “could haves” despite not knowing the full story or facts.

As a collective, we need to do better and be better.

It is so easy to tell people what they should have done when you have never experienced it yourself. I pray you never experience it, lead with curiosity and care when you come across a human living an unreal, unfathomable experience.

To those that stand in truth, thank you.

To those that are trauma informed and approach with true care and concern, thank you.

To those that know accountability and ownership is the only way to better our world for future generations, thank you.

To those that understand how a child’s developing brain processes trauma, thank you.

To those that are advocates instead of enablers, thank you.

Thank you for not only leading with integrity but knowing the only way to make things better for our children is to talk about the darkness so we can make their future brighter.

Collectively, we can shield our children from our storms; so they do not feel the rain. Adults working together carrying the darkness so the next generation can be the light. The only way to end the vicious cycle is to bravely stand with truth. Our children deserve better than to continuously be failed by a system that swears to protect them, our communities deserve to feel safe by those whose job it is to protect them. We owe it to all involved to stand boldly in truth and integrity. The reality is there are not two sides to every story, there is only truth and one can choose to speak it, heal it, and change the vicious cycle.

To those who bravely speak their truth, I applaud you. I see you. I hear you. Our children need you! ∎

If you or someone you know may be suffering from Domestic Violence, help is available. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

For advice and support, an anonymous helplines is available National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE www.ndvh.org

(Statistics From The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

CATHY MCKINNON Advocate, Author, Coach & Mother

Cathy illuminates’ lives with her gifts- helping women heal, expand their businesses, and facilitate connections. Cathy runs strategy and operations for businesses, nonproﬁts and personal brands allowing women to walk with conﬁdence, growth and healing so they can more effectively lead themselves, their families and their organizations. She challenges us all to not just think big but DO big!

JOSHUA VOORHIES

MUSICIAN

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JOSHUA VOORHIES

UNBROKEN KEYS

A STORY OF MUSIC, IDENTITY, AND RESILIENCE

Joshua Voorhies is a passionate self-taught pianist from Owosso, Michigan, whose musical journey began at his mother’s side at the age of 4 and evolved into a remarkable story of resilience and triumph. As an out and proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community, Joshua has faced signiﬁcant challenges, including battling epilepsy, yet continues to reach for the stars with undiminished determination. His story is one of overcoming adversity, rediscovering his love for music, and embracing his true self.

ALLIÉ: Joshua, your story about learning classical music from your mom and then teaching yourself by ear is—let’s just call it what it is—inspiring. Can you share a bit more about those early days? What was it like for little Joshua, sitting by the piano, ﬁguring out melodies from the radio?

JOSHUA: My mom taught me classical music when I was four. When she played the piano, I was glued to her side. She taught me how to play visually since she didn’t read sheet music, and by the time I was ﬁve, she had taught me everything she knew. With four younger siblings and no money for piano lessons, I was on my own to continue

JOSHUA VOORHIES MUSICIAN

JOSHUA: (continued) absorbing all kinds of genres, not just classical—especially '70s and '80s rock. I’d sit at the piano and ﬁgure out the music by ear. My family calls it "ﬁngering it out."

ALLIÉ: It's quite the talent you've developed over the years. Let’s dive a little deeper. You mentioned losing some of your memory due to epilepsy, which must have been incredibly challenging. Can you tell us about the moment during the pandemic when you sat down at the piano and found that stream of consciousness—what do you think triggered such a powerful reconnection?

JOSHUA: That’s a great question. When the pandemic hit and everything shut down, especially here in Michigan, it was terrifying for everyone, particularly for the immunocompromised. Working in healthcare, I saw it ﬁrsthand. I found myself mentally drained, depressed, and feeling like there was no bright future. Before epilepsy took away my ability to play, music had always been my therapy. One day, I just felt an overwhelming need to play again. My muscle memory was gone, and I couldn’t remember the music I once knew. I sat there frustrated, even yelled at the piano, asking, "What else can I do?" Suddenly, it was like a stream of consciousness opened, and melodies just ﬂowed into my head. My hands moved on their own, doing things I couldn’t even do before. That moment reignited my passion for music tenfold, and I started live-streaming performances on social media, expanding my abilities. That’s when I realized it was time to start performing again.

ALLIÉ: So it reignited your passion, and it hasn’t faded since? Wow. Beyond being a musician, you’re also a son, a friend—there are so many facets to your life. Let’s talk about your coming out. Growing up in a conservative Christian environment must have been tough, to say the least. Your journey is a testament to resilience. What advice would you give to others in a similar situation, struggling to reconcile their identity with their upbringing?

JOSHUA: It wasn’t easy. I started having feelings at 14, but in a strict conservative Christian household, being part of the LGBTQIA+ community was considered morally wrong. I spent ﬁve or six years praying for those feelings to go away because I was taught I’d go to hell for them. In 2021, I attempted suicide because I wasn’t in love with myself. I hadn’t fully accepted all the beautiful and ugly parts of who I am. My biggest advice is: don’t put yourself through what I went through. It’s not easy, especially coming from a background like mine, but the God I believe in loves all His children. There’s no amount of conversion therapy or regular therapy that will change who you are. In 2021, I had this realization: it’s okay to be my true, authentic self. Yes, some people will leave, but just as many will come into your life in a more positive way. I lost familial relationships and friendships, but I also gained people like you and Jack, who inspire me to keep pursuing my dreams.

ALLIÉ: Absolutely. When you reach for your dreams, you inspire others to reach for theirs. You’ve shared your story and your music, and I want to thank you for that. Let’s talk a bit more about epilepsy. Your experience with epilepsy and its impact on your music is both inspiring and heartbreaking. How has your relationship with music evolved since you regained your ability to play?

JOSHUA: Since 2020, when the pandemic began, music has been reignited in me. I think my relationship with music is the closest I’ll ever have with anything—animate or inanimate. Music is a universal language that connects people, and I love performing for others. That’s why I do annual concerts, to show my passion for music and give that gift back to people. I truly believe I was given the gift of music to share it. Music therapy, which I’ve practiced on myself for years, resets the mind. If I’m on the verge of a meltdown, playing music calms me down every time.

ALLIÉ: You’ve been doing annual piano concerts, and you dream of becoming a professional musician. After everything you’ve overcome, what does success look like to you now?

JOSHUA: I try not to be too prideful about my gift because I know it can be taken away. But success, for me, is in the small steps—like performing locally. My ultimate goal is to become a full-time touring musician, sharing my passion for music with the world.

Exclusive Interview with Joshua Voorhies https://awarenow.us/podcast/unbroken-keys

ALLIÉ: One last question for you, Joshua. How do you stay motivated and keep reaching for the stars, especially when the path is difﬁcult?

JOSHUA: It’s not always easy, especially working full-time in healthcare. Some nights, I go straight to bed and sleep for 10 hours. But I remind myself that this is what I strive for. Sometimes I have to force myself to play, but once I start, I remember how much I love it. Practicing and staying passionate about music keeps me going.

ALLIÉ: It’s like yoga—they call it a practice for a reason, just like piano. Here’s a strange question: do you have a favorite note?

JOSHUA: Not a speciﬁc note, but I do have a favorite key—B-ﬂat. It’s the most comfortable for my hands and a lot of the music I’ve learned has been in that key.

ALLIÉ: If B-ﬂat were a color, what color would it be?

JOSHUA: Sapphire blue.

ALLIÉ: That was such a deﬁnitive answer! I thought I’d throw you off, but nope, sapphire blue it is. Let’s talk about another color - red. When we ﬁrst met, it was because of ‘The Red Piano Project’. You were playing a red piano outdoors in downtown Owosso in the scorching heat. We heard the music from blocks away and found you there, playing for three hours straight. What’s the longest you’ve ever played in one sitting?

JOSHUA: Six hours. It was the night music reignited in me. I was so excited to rediscover what I could do on the piano that I even forgot to take breaks.

ALLIÉ: Six hours straight? That’s impressive, as is your incredible talent. Thank you so much, Joshua, for sharing your story and your music.

JOSHUA: Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I know it hasn’t been easy to coordinate.

ALLIÉ: Life seldom is easy, but it’s always worth it. ∎

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PARIS SCOBIE MENTAL HEALTH SPEAKER, PODCASTER, AND AUTHOR

Photo Courtesy: Paris Scobie

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH PARIS SCOBIE

FROM STIGMA TO STRENGTH TURNING LIVED EXPERIENCE INTO EMPOWERMENT

Paris Scobie is a mental health speaker, podcaster, and author who’s turned her lived experience with bipolar disorder into a powerful platform for change. From battling selfstigma as a young adult to working at the very hospital where she was once a patient, Paris has a unique perspective that’s deeply rooted in empathy and advocacy, as she works to break down barriers of mental health stigma.

ALLIÉ: Let's get right into it and start with your journey, Paris. Your diagnosis of bipolar disorder took you from being a patient to becoming an advocate. I'd like to focus on two signiﬁcant days in that journey. What were you thinking and feeling on the day you received your diagnosis? Then fast forward to the day you decided to use your diagnosis to help others.

PARIS: I remember the day I received my diagnosis; I felt a mix of emotions. I was relieved, scared, and slightly hopeful, but the negative emotions were more overpowering. I kept thinking, What do I do with this? It felt like a label, and there’s stigma that comes with it. I recalled all the TV shows, movies, and instances I’d heard the term “bipolar,” and it was never positive. I didn't know anyone in real life who had this diagnosis, only celebrities that you could

SCOBIE MENTAL HEALTH SPEAKER, PODCASTER, AND AUTHOR

PARIS

Photo Courtesy: Paris Scobie

“I thought I could use my experience to help others who were struggling like I had.”

PARIS: (continued) I was 19 years old when I was taken to a psychiatric facility and later transferred to a hospital, where I stayed for two weeks. After that, I was placed on court-ordered treatment. For those who don’t know, courtordered treatment means going before a judge to determine whether you’re ready to be released or if you need further medical attention. I was diagnosed with SMI bipolar, which stands for severe mental illness. It was a lot to process at the age of 19.

I had been struggling with my mental health since I was 12 and had been diagnosed with major depression at 16. Looking back, I think my initial diagnosis was a misdiagnosis. I was put on various medications, but I wasn’t ready to do the work. I didn’t know how to express my experiences or talk about the traumas I had faced. I felt stuck and alone, which I’ve learned is a common experience for many people. Our brains do a good job of convincing us that we’re alone and that we can’t talk about it.

After I was released from the hospital, I came home without any tools to manage my diagnosis. It wasn’t until ﬁve years later, after feeling stuck for so long, that I made a commitment to myself and dove into advocacy. The cover of my book illustrates this journey with three doors, symbolizing my path from patient to provider to advocate. I eventually worked at the same psychiatric facility where I had once been a patient, but even then, I still felt the weight of shame, fear, and isolation holding me back.

It took time, but I started making videos and slowly sharing my experiences with therapy, medication, hospitalization, surviving a suicide attempt, sexual assault, and living with bipolar I disorder. That led to starting my podcast, Crooked Illness, in January 2020. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time—I recorded my ﬁrst episode while walking in my parents' backyard! But I ﬁgured it out along the way.

ALLIÉ: What an incredible journey it’s been—and no doubt will continue to be. Going back to the hospital to work where you were once a patient must have given you a whole new outlook on mental health care. How did it shape the way you connect with others who are currently in that space?

PARIS: It was surreal. I describe this experience in detail in my book, and I’ve had readers tell me it feels like they’re walking with me through the hallways. After graduating, I had multiple interviews and eventually got hired at the hospital. I was excited and nervous. I thought I could use my experience to help others who were struggling like I had.

But I realized I hadn’t fully healed myself. I was so focused on listening to others and helping them that I neglected my own healing. It wasn’t until a year later that I went back to therapy and found a therapist I connected with. I committed to doing the work—talking about my traumas, learning new tools, and allowing myself to heal.

Had I not taken that step, I wouldn’t be here today, talking to you, writing my book, hosting my podcast, or speaking on stages. It all starts with giving yourself the chance to heal.

PARIS SCOBIE

MENTAL HEALTH SPEAKER, PODCASTER, AND AUTHOR

Photo Courtesy: Paris Scobie

AwareNow Podcast FROM STIGMA TO STRENGTH

Exclusive Interview with Paris Scobie https://awarenow.us/podcast/from-stigma-to-strength

“For me, breaking free from self-stigma started with three foundational pillars: relationships, purpose, and community.”

ALLIÉ: It’s really interesting that you discovered the need for your own healing while helping others. When it comes to mental health, the internal battle with self-stigma can be so difﬁcult. How did you start to break free from it, and what advice would you give to someone who’s feeling stuck in that same struggle?

PARIS: First, I’d say it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. I used to invalidate my own experiences by telling myself, “It could have been worse,” or “It wasn’t that bad.” That’s a form of emotional abuse. I would push myself to ignore it and move on.

Some people might not understand what it’s like to live with mental illness, and they might say things like, “Just snap out of it,” or, “Don’t be lazy.” But what they’re missing is that people need space to heal. It’s not always about a major life event or trauma—it could be anything.

For me, breaking free from self-stigma started with three foundational pillars: relationships, purpose, and community. I worked on my relationship with myself, got clear on my habits, and focused on what I was doing with my time. I also built supportive relationships with others, including my husband, who I met when I ﬁrst committed to doing the work. These pillars helped me combat the fear and isolation I was feeling. It’s important to note that the self-stigma doesn’t disappear forever. But when it resurfaces, I remind myself of the progress I’ve made, and I lean on the support systems I’ve built. ∎

Follow Paris on Instagram: @paris.scobie & @livewellbipolar

Listen to her podcast Live Will Bipolar™: awarenow.us/podcast/live-will-bipolar

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‘BERTHO’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY TEAM

BERTHO

REVOLT, RESIST & REFORM

BANGLADESH'S STUDENT LEGACY ,

“[...]

does this mean the grandchildren of the martyrs aren’t intelligent? All those children and grandchildrens of those razakars are? It can't be forgotten that those whom they’re calling unintelligent, are the ones who defeated them. The martyrs are the ones who won the war, not the razakars.

[...]

Then how intelligent are they truly?”

And just like that, every single one of them became a razakar—betrayers of their own homeland, in words of their government. Yet, for their country, they emerged as something profoundly different: they became birs—courageous warriors and self-sacrificing martyrs. They embraced their legacy as students, recalling the deep, indelible marks of their own history from 1952, 1969, 2013 and 2018, and boldly re-enacted it. They rose against the daughter of the man who had once led their nation to freedom, embodying the fierce spirit of defiance and unyielding resilience.

As protests escalated, slogans roared through the streets. The voices of the students were so loud and powerful that they reached the ordinary citizens. When most television channels were silent towards anti-government news, a few journalists and news anchors courageously reported the truth, regardless of the possible consequences, lawyers made powerful statements, highlighting that protesting is a fundamental right of every citizen, teachers and parents questioned the nation, asking why the students were being arrested and killed unjustly, even rickshaw pullers united to show their support for the students. This unity was so impactful that when people from all over Bangladesh longmarched to their capital, Dhaka, it was considered the ﬁnal battle of the student protest.

The protest didn’t stop only in the streets but bled into the virtual world. When Bangladesh’s government declared a national mourning day for the deceased protesters on July 30th, students responded with quiet de ﬁance & turned their proﬁle pictures red—a bold symbol of resistance. The students even reached out to international media like Al Jazeera and BBC. In a desperate bid to silence them, the government imposed a countrywide internet blackout. Even then the online protest was followed with striking artworks by renowned artists and musicians who gave voice to the cause with their art. It seems the spirit of Shadhin Bangla Betar Kendra from the Liberation War lived on as students turned to social media ensuring the world heard their voices.

After almost a month-long protest the students won their victory because of their patience and relentlessness. All of the sacrifices made throughout the conflict have finally come to an end. The most credit belongs to the students' rapidly declared march to the entire nation of Bangladesh. Nobody imagined that this would be the day when the people of Bangladesh would gain another level of independence, where everyone has their freedom of speech. The students' heroism for the nation was mostly responsible for ensuring independence. Nothing, not even a blackout, could prevent the nation from gaining its rights.

Poster Illustration by: Rejmin Islam

“The mission of this interim leadership, born from the students’ courage and sacriﬁce is clear: to honor the sacriﬁces of the fallen students by building a new generation of democracy, justice and unstoppable growth.”

As Nelson Mandela once said, "It always seems impossible until it’s done." This revolutionary protest brought down an autocrat that slaughtered the unarmed student protestors mercilessly, initiating a nationwide awakening. An interim government was formed after the fall of the tyrannical regime, with its leader chosen by student protesters committed to reforming Bangladesh. The mission of this interim leadership, born from the students' courage and sacri fice is clear: to honor the sacrifices of the fallen students by building a new generation of democracy, justice and unstoppable growth. Even in the darkest of times, the flames of bravery can set a blazing path to a glorious future. That’s what the students have proven through forging a new dawn for Bangladesh in the echoes of their sacrifice. ∎

Team Bertho is a world-recognised youth organization that bonds the whole world beyond borders through individually crafted human life stories.

MURSHIDUL ALAM BHUIYAN Founder of Team Bertho & Ofﬁcial Ambassador for the Human Cause www.awarenessties.us/murshid

Forming "Team Bertho”, Murshid is a true leader. Believing in the truest essence of teamwork, he works relentlessly side by side with his teammates. Murshid is passionate about collecting human wisdom from every corner possible and spreading it throughout the world.

Written by members of Team Bertho: Fatima Binte Zahid, Jannatual Aﬁa Priya, Maimuna, Naﬁsa Attira Rimjhim and Sharafa Tonmona

Mural by: ObeyGiant.com

Photographed by: Eddie Donaldson