A Course in Heartbreak by Heartbreak University

A 7-Step Interactive Workshop Presented By: Michele M. Washam Creator of: Just4ladies.com HeartbreakUniversity.com RequestAMiracle.com

COPYRIGHT AND LEGAL NOTICE The Course in Heartbreak is copyrightedÂŠ. All rights reserved. No portion of The Course may be sold, shared, distributed or published without the express written consent of the editor. Copyright pending with the Library of Congress. If you know someone that may benefit from The Course In Heartbreak but may be unable to pay the fees associated, please e-mail shell@just4ladies.com about scholarship options or permission to publish waivers. It is our goal to distribute the message contained in The Course In Heartbreak to as many individuals as possible but we ask our students to respect all copyright and trademarks associated. 2000 Copyright Michele M. WashamÂŠ. All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

The Course in Heartbreak is dedicated first and foremost to God, without His inspiration it wouldn’t be, and to my husband Michael. Without you there wouldn’t have been a miracle. Your presence in my life has changed me forever, you inspire me to be all that I can be and do all that I can do. When I asked God for a miracle I never expected Him to send me an angel. No matter how rough the waters get I will always appreciate everything that you are. You’ll always be the Special Agent in charge of my heart… xoxoxo

A COURSE IN HEARTBREAK – TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page 1 ……………………..Introduction to the Course Page 5 ………………………A Message from the editor. STEP ONE – WHEN OUR KNEES MEET THE FLOOR Page 7 ……………………..The Great Fall – When Our Knees Meet the Floor Page 14……………………. Realizing what the “Broken” in broken heart really means Page 19……………………. Finding an escape from the never ending pain Page 24……………………. Gardening 101 – Planting the first small seeds of faith Page 29……………………. Faith building promises from The Creator Page 31……………………. Avoiding the traps we set for ourselves Page 32 ………………….. Blank Sheet Method – A way to prevent a set back Page 36 ………………….. Talking to God – The start of a beautiful relationship Page 41 ………………….. The Will of God – Why we fear it. Page 47 ………………….. Dear God, Why? STEP TWO – WHAT IS PRAYER AND HOW DO I DO IT EFFECTIVELY Page 50 ………………….. Pray? What’s that and How do I do it? Page 51 ………………….. Who is Jesus? Page 60 ………………….. The four A’s of Prayer Page 64 ………………….. The book of life, for life...The Holy Bible Page 66 …………………… Promises to start with…Head start for new beginners. Page 79…………………... Let the battle begin – The spiritual war Page 81……………………. Spiritual weapons formed against us Page 87 …………………… Binding the devils plans for your failure Page 89 …………………… Does God wear a watch? Page 94 …………………… Lord, give me patience and I need it right now! STEP THREE – SPRING CLEANING YOUR SOUL Page 98. …………………. Spring cleaning your soul. Out with the old and in with the new Page 98…………………… Emotional roller coaster – ALL ABOARD! Page 100…………………… Unloading your old baggage – Clean out your spiritual closet Page 101………………….. Unloading Pride & Replacing it with humility Page 102…………………… Learning to forgive – a key ingredient for a miracle Page 104…………………... Judge not unless you are prepared to be judged

III

STEP FOUR – HOW TO GET ANSWERS TO YOUR PRAYERS Page 110……………………. How to get answers to your prayers Page 111……………………. The basic rules of righteousness Page 117……………………..The straight and narrow vs. the wide and broad Page 119……………………..The bad rap- Born Agains Page 120……………………..Your thoughts become your destiny Page 121………………………What NOT to pray for Page 122……………………..Drinking water out of your own well – Loving a married man. Page 124………………………Delayed because of action Page 127………………………Perseverance is a comforting priority Page 126……………………..Removing all obstacles Page 128……………………..Loving and unbeliever Page 129……………………..Let Go and Let God Page 130……………………..Getting what we give Page 132……………………..Spiritual Maturity through Spiritual Milk STEP FIVE – THE GREATEST PROMISE OF ALL Page 136…………………..The greatest promise of all. The miracle is closer than you think Page 136……………………Delight in the Lord and He’ll give you the desires of your heart Page 138…………………..Seeing God in everything Page 139…………………..Delight is easier said than done Page 140…………………..Righteous anger for the lack of concern by others Page 142…………………..Take God seriously STEP SIX – ASK NOT WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR YOU BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR GOD Page 145…………………..Your works are evidence of your faith Page 146…………………..How do I know what I should be doing? Page 147…………………..Letting your light shine Page 147…………………..The work of intercession – Praying for others STEP SEVEN – A BRAND NEW CREATION! A NEW WAY OF LIFE! Page 150……………….... A man’s opinion and advice on dealing with heartbreak – **Special Page 151…………………..The do’s and don’ts of “We need to talk” Page 157…………………..Keep on keeping on Page 158…………………..Once the miracle comes Page 158…………………..Continuing your studies Page 160…………………..When God moved the heavens for me

INTRODUCTION TO THE COURSE IN HEARTBREAK Welcome to The Course In Heartbreak. The lessons contained in The Course are bound to change your life and your heart the way you know them. From the first devastating moments of your heartbreak to the day your miracle manifests The Course will guide you through and teach you. The Course is designed to conform to each individual that follows the lessons. The Course In Heartbreak is for people wishing to obtain the blessing of true or restored love. If your heart has been broken due to a divorce, separation, or a breakup then the course is for you. The lessons you will find within are inspired by God and based on the promises and principles He set forth in His Word. The creator of the course is simply passing the lessons on to others who are going through the devastation of heartbreak resulting from the rejection of your love by another. There is no crash-course available when seeking a miracle of true or restored love. In order to obtain a love that is blessed by The Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hands we must master the lessons He has written for us. In the process we become new people and in doing so we become capable of receiving His most precious gift, the gift of love. If your heart has been crushed and you ache to the depth of your soul due to heartbreak then what you find in the following pages will bless you and help guide you on a bittersweet journey that results in a gift you could never imagine in your wildest dreams. When applied properly, The Course is guaranteed to achieve the results your heart so desperately seeks. The creator of The Course In Heartbreak, Michele Washam, designed these lessons from experience. They are tried and proven and inspired by the love and wisdom of God. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until long after The Course was written and the Seven steps were finalized that Michele realized what the number (7) represented. Completion; finished work; perfection; rest; perfection in the Spirit. (Gen. 2: 1-3; Lev. 14: 7; 16: 14, 19; Matt. 18: 21-22; Jude 14; Rev. 2: 1; 8: 2; 12: 3), Michele knew in her heart that The Lord used her to introduce His seven step program into a world full of men and women seeking the answers and solution to lost love and heartbreak. The Lord heard the cries of the broken hearted and answered. May your life be blessed and your hearts made whole by the gifts contained in these pages.

MATERIALS NEEDED In addition to The Course In Heartbreak 7-Step Interactive Workshop, you will need the following materials to achieve maximum results from The Course. 1 – Holy Bible – Take the time to find a Bible that you are comfortable with and understand easily. Many people use several Bible’s including a good study Bible. This is a personal choice and the editors suggestion is to find a Bible that explains what some scriptures mean. Michele’s recommendations are: The Full Life Study Bible - ** This Bible is no longer in print but you can find it used, online at one of the web links below. Approximate cost is $35.00 1- Spiral notebook – This will come to be known as your “God Book”. Some people like to have a fancy notebook or journal and some prefer just a plain notebook. The God Book is essential in communicating your most heartfelt thoughts, feelings and prayers. It is confidential and only you and The Lord will see it’s contents. As time goes by, your God Book will help you to focus not on how far you have to go, but on how far you have come. 1 – Quiet Place – An alone spot where you can think and meditate and eventually listen. In addition to the above, you will need an open heart and mind. These are the most important things. Remember, the atmosphere of expectancy is the breeding ground for miracles.

Highly Recommended Reading: -Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets -The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson -His Lady by T.D. Jakes -Bible Promises for Women from the NIV Bible

** Resources for Christian reading and Bibles ** Amazon.com Barnesandnoble.com Booksamillion.com Borders.com Buybooks.com ChristianBook.com LifeWay Christian Stores Online Parable.com Note: Heartbreak University.org or the creator of The Course in Heartbreak do not profit from any purchases made from the above retailers.

INTERACTIVE OPTIONS Unlike any other course of its kind, The Course In Heartbreak allows you to interact with Michele Washam as well as others taking the course. By sharing your feelings, your good days and bad with others you learn more. The author of The Course makes herself available to each and every person that needs assistance. By making herself available to those working their way toward a miracle, Michele is able to share the things she did in order to overcome and reach her goal. You can use the methods below to contact Michele for private consultation, join the group prayer meetings (online), or simply talk or ask questions. The support system that comes with The Course is priceless and the friends you make will be for life.

To set a time to speak to Michele please e-mail shell@heartbreakuniversity.org your request will be answered expeditiously. You will automatically receive prayer group schedules and special virtual seminar information. All are included in The Course.

Use the schedule below to keep track of group meetings and consultations. Date:

Time:

Method:

A Message From The Author –

Dear Friend, Greetings In the name of Christ. I want to take this time to welcome you to the club. The Heartbreak Club that is. I know you are anxious to move forward and learn all there is to learn to get you to that miracle that brought you to this point. I wanted to share a little bit of myself with you before you get started. Several years ago my heart was broken by a man I loved more than air. It wasn’t the normal breakup situation but one of those stories that makes your heart ache just to hear it told. One day he was there and he loved me and the next day he was gone, literally. No warning, no arguments no reason… he just left. At least that was what I thought when it happened. When this man refused to take my calls the answers to the questions that left me bewildered and devastated went unanswered. After trying everything in my power to bring him back or at least get him to talk to me, I realized nothing I could say or do (and I tried stuff that would shock you) would bring him back. At the time, I didn’t know God and had no faith. All of that was about to change. The next several months were dedicated to learning as much as I could about the One that blesses us with miracles. I was determined to make a difference for all those dealing with the pain and anguish that comes with a broken heart. From adult web site designer to God’s Webmaster, my life changed but not before I traveled the valley’s, walked through the wilderness, tried and failed and then tried again until I got it right. I had days where my hope reached Heaven and days when I simply wanted to quit, only finding out that no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t. I went days and weeks with no visible sign of change on the horizon and there were days where I felt like I could reach out and grasp the miracle because it felt that close. I searched high and low for the answers and for the ingredients needed for my miracle. Little did I know they were always at my finger tips. I started seeing my heartbreak as a challenge. I learned there were powers in this world that were

meant to deceive and lie. I refused to listen to the lies. I had been blessed with a heart that was capable of loving someone enough to endure the pain I was living with and I was determined to dance through the fires in order to be blessed with a miracle that would allow me the gift of having someone to share all of that love with. Then one day, out of the blue when I wasn’t expecting it…my miracle came. It was wrapped differently that I had prayed for but was ten-times better than I could have ever hoped for. God didn’t give me exactly what I thought I wanted, the way I wanted it… He gave me what I needed. When the blessing came it was so incredible, it took my breath away. On January 3, 20 0 3

I married my miracle. During the wait, I realized that there was no place

where the broken hearted could go that would walk them step-by-step through each wonderful enlightening moment to get us to the point of receiving God’s blessed gift of true or restored love. My heartbreak turned into a global network of people searching for that way. My trials and victories set the course for The Course in Heartbreak. I believe the Lord heard the prayers of those crying out in anguish due to a broken heart. Before He can send us into battle He has to train us and before we can help another person through, we have to experience the trials and tribulations in order to understand the path that leads to His most precious gift of all… True Love. I am thankful for every single tear I cried and every pain my heart felt. I am a totally different person than I was when I started this journey. My life is blessed with True Love unlike anything I have ever known and my lesson has taught me how to nurture and protect that love forever. Come take my hand and let me help you walk towards the miracle your heart is aching for. Together, with the love and guidance that is always available from above…we’ll reach your miracle too. All My Love and Prayers,

Shell 6

STEP ONE – THE GREAT FALL. WHEN OUR KNEES MEET THE FLOOR The first part of the course is designed to help you build the foundation for which you will base your journey towards a miracle. In these beginning days you are probably feeling the worst. The ache in your heart can be crippling at times and every thought that enters your mind seems to be centered on the one you have lost. Things are going to get better, I promise. In many cases this pain can cause us to think and do crazy things. Our whole life revolves around them coming back or in finding someone to share your life with. Loneliness is a way of life these days and we are going to harness those feelings and turn them into productive tools. EXERCISE: -The first entry in your God Book or journal should describe what you are feeling, thinking, and wishing for prior to reading the first step of the course. Keep track of the date and time of your entries and don’t hesitate to make more than one daily entry. In time you can go back into your journal and see your growth in your own words. Write your journal as if the letters are going straight to Heaven…they are. If I could stand in front of the Holy Throne of God right this minute I would ask Him to: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

Every one of us has the opportunity to enjoy perfect love in our lives. It is up to us whether we recognize that opportunity and seize the moment or weather we make an unguided choice. Some of us live our whole lives with someone that doesn’t fit the “perfect love” description, weather we do it because of the way we are raised or because we feel we have no other choice is a different subject altogether. Some times we are fortunate enough to experience heart break at such an incredible magnitude that it changes us forever and makes us rethink our choices. It may even change the type of partner we seek, and when all is said and done and the refinishing is complete we find that we have been blessed not only with what we have always wanted and just didn’t realize it, but what we truly needed in our lives. The foundation of happiness in this life is love. Whether it is a loving a partner, a family, children, or something else. The basis for love and the root to perfect happiness is pure unconditional love in God. He is the maker of this wonderful, warm, tingly feeling so many people write songs and poems and stories about. He is the creator of the “warm fuzzies”. There is a reason why so many people seek love before wealth. And those that don’t, live their entire lives missing something. Money will only take a person so far, and then, one day you wake up and realize that it can’t buy happiness and the only love it will buy, won’t be perfect. I assure you. Lost love is a lot like death. When our hearts are broken and the love ends we find ourselves in a sort of mourning or grieving state. It is obvious that no matter how good our lives are, when we have lost someone we love things are not balanced. We wander through each day in a daze and nothing else seems to hold as much importance as the ache in our hearts. Our jobs, homes, material possessions and even children lack what it takes to give us that feeling of completion. These are all normal feelings. Right now the only thing you are thinking about is at what point in this course will you learn how to make them come back OR at the very least, soften the pain. Do you know what it’s like to be in perfect true love? Don’t believe it exists? Well it does. It doesn’t always happen when you utter the first prayer and it takes some of us a few years of bad choices, a few fractures to your heart and a little bit of misery, no, a lot of misery, and then it will happen…your life will change forever.

Right now your heart is broken but by the time you’re finished you will have died and been reborn. You will lose yourself and find yourself all at once. Although it feels like you can die from the pain, you should find comfort in the knowledge that your heart is blessed enough to be capable of feeling such pain. That feeling is sensitivity and when the positive feelings come, the reciprocal love you are praying for, will feel like nothing you have ever known. This is the love we are aiming for. Forever love. If you can feel hurt right down to the core of your very soul then you can experience the perfect love you have only read about in books. This is not just a fantasy. It doesn’t only exist in the minds of romantic poets. I believed with all my heart that perfect love was not something that is found only in the movies. I wanted it in my life more than anything. I made it my life’s mission to find it and possess it. I sought it out for one full year, and when I found it, it was unlike anything I had ever known before. Now it’s your turn. In the beginning of your heartbreak you may find that isolating yourself is most comfortable. The advice of those friends and family who love you is not what you may be feeling you need to hear. In many cases, it makes the pain worse. To hear that there are more “fish in the sea” or that “they weren’t right for you” or even hearing how wonderful you are and how the loss should be felt by the one who broke your heart to begin with is all well intentioned however, it isn’t what you want to hear and it isn’t making the pain you are feeling any easier to deal with. Yep, isolating yourself from the world feels best at this point and when done in moderation can be healthy and productive in helping you grow. When my heart was broken I had to move to Florida with my parents. They were wonderful about taking my three children and I into their small home and although they say there’s no place like being back at home, I felt smothered and unable to escape. My parents were naturally concerned about me and I can honestly say they tried to love me too much. I needed a quiet spot where I could go to lick my wounds and mourn the loss my soul was feeling. I chose the shower. It was the only place I could be alone at the time and it worked. It was in the shower that I found the way to The One that could give me a miracle. Prior to my shower sessions, I had no idea who He was. Oh, I knew there was a God but I had never taken the time to get to

know Him or to learn what He could do for me when I developed a relationship with Him. My Italian Catholic roots weren’t doing me much good at the time. I had never really grasped what I learned in school and I vaguely acknowledged my grandmothers lectures on being a devout believer in God’s ability to help me through anything. I was about to learn that when she said “Nothing is so bad that it can’t be fixed when you pray”. It was true. I came home from my office one evening and my mother looked at me with much concern and said “nothing on earth can fix this, you need Heavenly intervention. Ask St. Jude to help you”. “Who the heck is St. Jude?” I replied. My mother told me that St. Jude Thaddeus was believed to be one of the most powerful intercessors in the Catholic faith. He is the Patron Saint of Hopeless Cases and asking his intercession never failed. Woo Hoo!!! I found the solution!! Not exactly. Now for all of the non Catholics out there, don’t get nervous. I’m not going to try and convert anyone. For the first time in 6-days I had hope. I put the kids to bed that night and went on the Internet and started researching St. Jude. I printed his Novena and began saying it that night. As the days went by and nothing happened I got discouraged. I had expected that once I started the Novena things would start happening, I figured the answer was going to fall out of the sky and my lost love was going to appear at my parent’s front door. What I was about to learn was that St. Jude was going to lead me to The One that could make that happen. That and much, much more. If you have children or are required to work each day to support yourself, going off into a secluded spot when you want to may not be possible. Carrying the burden of every day life along with the burden of a broken soul can be a heavy weight but in most cases it has to be done. If you have walked with weights on your ankles or exercised with hand held weights you know that over time, this activity builds

endurance the more you do it the more weight you are able to endure the stronger you get. It’s tough at first but becomes easier as time goes on and the results are a new and improved body. Same principle here only in a spiritual sense. Taking each day one hour at a time is the best solution. The distraction of every day life, caring for your children, and working are good tools for keeping your mind busy even if they feel like a tremendous burden right now. Remember, weight equals endurance, equals strength. Forcing yourself to “move forward” (notice I said forward and not move on) is a must when you begin the journey towards your miracle. No matter how hard it is, you have to move forward. The key to surviving this stage of your heartbreak is to be grateful for those who love you enough to give you advice and for the family and friends that want to go out and beat the one who hurt you with a rubber hose, but don’t let their well meant advice bring you down. Sometimes arguing with them or disputing the fact that the person who has gone away is the one that owns your heart can be a futile mission. In their eyes, that person has hurt you and deserves to be hurt also. Remember that no matter how right mom always is, God is in charge of this situation now. He is the giver of the impossible. Put your hopes on that and not on Aunt Ethel’s psychic ability. When you wake up each morning and the memory of losing them punches you in the gut, remind yourself that today you are adding another block to the foundation of your miracle. This is a project and you are going to build it from the ground up. Push the thoughts of what they may be doing or thinking out of your mind and get out of bed with the attitude that today you are one day closer to your goal. When you feel that ray of hope peek through the clouds of despair remind yourself that God will never let you hope for the impossible. Where there is faith, there is hope. Your faith in God and His ability to see you through this are proof that you are entitled to what it is your heart longs for. He’s simply going to create a new person that is capable of receiving, nurturing and keeping forever love. This is what you need to remind yourself of every time you wake up to that gut wrenching feeling of pain, emptiness, and anguish. That ray of hope that you feel in your heart is the beginning of faith.

Now, for those of you that are not familiar with how the whole “faith” thing works let me enlighten you. I have learned that faith is not one of those things that just bursts through and solves all of your problems in an instant. Although, I am sure some people can say it has happened that way, I have found that in matters of the heart faith is the one ingredient that must be fed in order to grow. Faith is not something we get on our own, we are blessed with it. In the beginning of your journey it is a small ray of sunshine that peeks through the clouds of despair a little at a time giving relief for an instant here and there. As time goes on, faith grows and as it grows so do we. Faith is made up of a couple of wonderful things. It is belief and trust, in this case, in God. As time goes on it will develop into a firm belief in something of which there is no proof available to your naked eye. Thus God’s message to us in the Bible that we should “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). When you apply that first directive to your circumstances it means do not judge the situation by what you see (or don’t see) happening with your eyes, SIMPLY BELIEVE that now that you have asked God into this situation, He is working on it and because He is working on it you have to trust that even though things aren’t going as you want them to, you have asked The Creator of all things, The Creator of LOVE to step into the picture, lower His divine hand and repair the damage. We know that God knows more than we could ever comprehend, He knows what is best for us even if we don’t. He knows what changes need to be made before you can truly enjoy and appreciate His greatest blessing. Love. You are seeking a miracle of love, the most important of all gifts that He blesses us with. Do you think He is going to say “No”? If it is His utmost wish for us to love and be loved, it is safe to say that asking His intervention in matters involving love are a sure yes! And just because He may be requiring you to wait a bit for the answer, which could be interpreted by we humans as a “no”, doesn’t mean He isn’t going to answer. It simply means there is some work to be done in order to give you the perfect answer to a prayer that lines up with His will for you. If you had no hope before, that should be enough to spark a days worth! So during these first and most painful days, remind yourself that God’s will is love! Faith in what you can’t see but what you hope for is one of the first steps towards

your miracle. It’s one of His greatest promises to us. “..faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1) When you feel that faint planting of the seed of faith realize that belief in what makes that desire your heart longs for, is proof of what is coming. EXCERCISE: -Get your God Book or journal out and write down how you feel when you feel that seed of faith planted. -

What is it you BELIEVE He is going to do for you? If you could write the Lord a letter in your God Book, what would you say to Him about the request you are making of Him? Is the one you are pinning for an alcoholic or substance abuser or abusive to you physically? You love him/her enough to want them back in your life, tell God why.

Our knees hit the floor in many different ways and it sometimes takes a little bit of force to make that happen. We’ll travel through the years and take some serious blows that cause us to stumble but a lot of times we just keep doing what we want to do and in many cases before we look “up” for the answer we simply treat the injuries with band aids. There is more to overcoming heartbreak than reconciliation. Someone once said that the definition of insanity is to keep repeating the same actions and expecting different results OR keep choosing the wrong partners and expect a different outcome to the relationship. One has to understand heartbreak in order to overcome it, grow, and benefit from it.

** In an e-mail or MS Word write a short essay describing your definition of heartbreak, e-mail it to shell@heartbreakuniversity.org be sure to include your student number.

REALIZING WHAT THE “BROKEN” IN BROKEN HEART REALLY MEANS. When you understand heartbreak dealing with it becomes much easier, it also helps you achieve your ultimate goal and helps you maintain happiness, peace and contentment in matters involving intimate love with another. You can honestly say with true sincerity that this painful situation is not something you care to repeat in the future. There are two ways of understanding heartbreak, the worldly way and the spiritual way. With each way comes a different definition and explanation and of course, different methods and results. The worldly way of looking at a broken relationship or marriage is the most common. Man has adapted to the ways of the world and over the course of time it has become the most accepted way of looking at most issues. When someone stands up and says “This is not how it was intended to be” they are met with ridicule and insults. Sometimes they are told they are religious freaks or worse. The majority of people don’t believe or don’t want to believe that God still blesses us with miracles of restoration, reconciliation or with our soul mates. If they can’t see it why should they believe it? It’s much easier to accept the worldly explanation they he/she was all wrong, didn’t work enough, wasn’t handsome or beautiful enough, didn’t make enough money, etc. So we mix worldly reasons with human logic and we get endless broken marriages, broken relationships and rejection. Heaven forbid we should look with our spiritual eyes and see the greater purpose. By the way, when was the last time you talked to anyone that said they asked God to help them chose their life partner? In my four years of heartbreak coaching I have met only three people and they are all happily married and madly in love with their spouses. I know what your saying…”NO WAY!”. All I can say is…WAY! If it works for them, it can work for you. In a spiritual sense, heartbreak is a tap on the shoulder from Our Father in Heaven. For what reason He is trying to get our attention is yet to be learned and is a different lesson for each of us.

When we read God’s word we learn that He lives within us. He lives in our hearts. Our hearts are the core of our existence. What the heart is made of the person is. When we have the ability to love another human with such an intensity that it brings us to our knees to be without that love, we know we are on the right path towards our miracle. We just need a little tuning up and in some cases, a lot of tuning up. Our hearts are such an incredible part of life physically, mentally, and spiritually. If our hearts are not strong physically we become sick and eventually die from heart failure. The heart stops beating and the person ceases to exist. We can not function without a beating heart. It is what pumps our life blood through our veins and sustains life. A person who has a weak heart will go to a cardiologist and follow the routine that this heart expert sets forth. This usually consists of a healthy diet, exercise and some other things to keep the heart healthy. Regular check-ups with the doctor are mandatory to make sure that everything is working the way it should be and during these check ups the doctor has the opportunity to see if the patient requires additional treatment or surgery to make the heart healthier. The bottom line is that with a healthy heart comes a longer more productive and fulfilling life. Our mental condition affects our hearts as well. Mental stress can cause physical stress to the beating heart. When we are dealing with overwhelming grief or sorrow this drains us physically and emotionally. Have you ever heard anyone say that someone they knew died from a broken heart? This will sometimes happen after a person loses a spouse to death. My grandmother is said to have died from a broken heart after my grandfather died. They were married just a month under fifty years when my grandfather passed on. My grandmother never recovered. Day after day she sat in her chair and missed my grandfather. She was drowning in her sorrow and nothing any of us said or did would change her. My aunts and uncles always said that when my grandfather died, he took my grandmother’s heart with him. One night, several months after papa passed, my aunt found my grandmother in her favorite chair, she appeared to be sleeping and she had the most peaceful look on her face, she went to sleep that night and never woke up. Her soul couldn’t go on

with out my grandfather. I consider that to be the closest thing to dying from a broken heart. My grandmother just slipped away from us, had she let us help her I believe she would have stayed with us longer. But she simply gave up. There was no answer in her eyes, no future and no one else that mattered more than my grandfather did. God bless her, she was a devout believer and went home knowing she was going to meet Jesus. Mentally she would not allow herself to see beyond the here and now. We are our own worst enemies when this happens. We defeat our own purpose and bypass the miracle when we allow our own minds to determine the outcome without letting the spiritual powers we house within to take over. Our mental state affects the way our heart feels a great deal. We control our own thoughts. When we think negative and convince ourselves that they are never coming back and there is no one else for us or we spend hours of our time angry and thinking up the best revenge plots or ways to get them back. we defeat our new purpose. How we think effects our hearts BIG TIME! Our imaginations can get us into a world of trouble when dealing with heartbreak. I can tell you stories that would shock you! Needless to say if we allow ourselves to believe with only our eyes, the mental strain that causes stress, grief and sorrow all affect our hearts. If you are letting the worldly ways dominate your thinking, which ultimately effects the way your heart is feeling then it is safe to say that your spirit is in serious need of rescuing. It is through your God given spirit that you will receive all of the strength, wisdom, and faith needed to achieve your goal and reach your miracle. When the person you love handed your heart back and said â&#x20AC;&#x153;no-thanksâ&#x20AC;? you experienced physical pain. The thoughts that fed that pain cause an ongoing pain. The grief, fear and sorrow that are mixed in with that are what make up heartbreak.

So to sum it all up the pain you are feeling is made up of the following: -

Fear

- Grief

Emptiness

- Anger

Sadness

- Panic

Uncertainty

- Guilt

Worry

- Despair

Regret

- Desperation

Remorse

- Loneliness

Psychologists tell us that with any loss there is shock, sorrow, anger, and guilt. As with any part of your body that is broken, there is pain. Your heart is no different. Actually, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worse. The healing of your heart depends on two factors, first, your ability to nurse your broken heart properly and second, the mending depends on the actions of another person. Only the first factor is critical, the second factor will come in time. Our heart is where love resides. When love is removed there is an emptiness that only love can fill. Once you can identify each of the things that make up a broken heart you can take the first step towards mending it. No amount of knowledge can prepare you for the loss of someone you love. As with death divorce, separation or rejection causes us to feel grief. Grief is the most intense and enduring emotion we can experience and there is no quick fix and no short cut. The only way out of this mist shrouded wilderness is through it. Everyone who experiences grief has their own route through it, their own map out and in the end you will be forever changed by the journey. Grief works in stages or phases and there are no complete set of elements that make up a persons grief. It is like stacking phases on top of one another, the first phase can represent shock, anger, fear or numbness. The second phase is applied over the first after a period of time has passed, it would represent the emotions you add after an hour or a day or week, as you continue to add these phases on top of each other you may feel peace one moment and paralyzed by a barrage of all of those emotions at once. The only way to harness this overwhelming grief is to work through it.

EXCERCISE: Get your God Book or journal out and list each of the items above that make up heartbreak. Next to each item write what it is you feel about that particular thing i.e. “fear” write what it is you fear most about them being gone. “Emptiness” write what it is you miss most about them and/or their presence in your life. Do this with each of the things above and feel free to add anything you are feeling that is not listed. ** Honesty is the best policy when doing this exercise. Remember, your journal is between you and God only. If you miss a certain habit that you think may be embarrassing to share, write it anyway. By examining the things that make up your pain, you will be able to look back and see which areas need prayer and divine intervention.

~*~*~* Don’t forget to drop in on an HBU Prayer meeting *~*~*~ *Request a copy of our online group meetings. Meet others going through the same ordeal and feeling the same pain. Group support meetings are crucial at this stage for dealing with the grief you are feeling.

FINDING AN ESCAPE FROM THE NEVER ENDING PAIN The bad thing about a broken heart is that it follows you everywhere. It seems as if there is no corner you can turn that doesn’t have something hiding behind it that reminds you of the one that isn’t there right now. Songs, movies, even TV shows can all feel like a punch in the stomach when faced with them. My lost love and I had a nightly routine that consisted of dinner at the coffee table in front of the television where we would watch Seinfeld and then Friends re-runs. Every Thursday night we would watch ER at 10 o’clock sharp. It was the one time of the day when we would sit right next to each other and I could bask in the closeness we shared. We looked forward to that routine every evening. When he left, I couldn’t even turn the television set on. He was a sports fanatic and even the sight of a basketball game would cause me pain. The memories of him would come screaming back and his absence was literally torture. Every time I walked out the door there was a reminder. The pain of losing him was thrown in my face every minute and it became unbearable. How could I ever heal and recover if the reminders set me back to a time when things were happy. These reminders were setting me back miles in my recovery. At first, you may want to be nestled in the familiarity of all of the things you shared as a couple. It feels like your world is spinning out of control in a downward spiral and the only thing you can do to keep yourself from falling into an abyss of despair is to surround yourself with the things you shared as a couple. Trust me when I tell you that you are not the only one that sleeps with their pillow because it smells like them. Wanting to remember them day in and day out is normal and may feel comfortable. It may seem that this is helpful in keeping you “close” but in reality, it’s making things a thousand times worse. How can you avoid the pain if you are surrounding yourself with all of the things that remind you of the person that has caused the pain? The memories of all of the things you did together will not make you feel good right now they will only serve to remind you of a time that was fresh in love and in turn the present void in your life.

In order to stabilize yourself for the journey ahead you have to put these reminders away for a while. Moving forward here…not on. In order to heal, overcome, change, and move “forward”, you have to stabilize so that you can repair, renew, heal and grow. The word stabilize means to make stable, steadfast or firm. Before a heart patient can be operated on he has to be stabilized. Heartbreak victims aren’t much different. Some ways of stabilizing are: 1. Take one picture of them and place it inside your Bible. When you do this, close your eyes and imagine yourself placing your lost love in the arms of God. By doing this, you are mentally conditioning your mind towards believing that this relationship is now engulfed in God’s love. Some folks have a special scripture where they place the picture of their lost love. It symbolized the promise they were standing on or basing their faith and belief that The Lord will heal what is broken. If you have a special scripture that tugs at your heart regarding this situation, place your lost love there. If you don’t then simply place the picture in the middle until the scripture finds you. 2. Put the rest of your pictures of them away. Put any reminders such as clothing, special mementos you obtained together on vacations or dates, etc. 3. When you hear “our song(s)” change the station. Purposely listening to the song will no doubt cause pain and even though you sort of want to feel that pain in a way, it will only serve to delay your miracle. – As time goes by, when you hear the song on the radio or in another place, the pain will become less. You’ll be able to use the hearing of your song as a kind of test. We’ll get to that later on in the course. Music can be a wonderful tool for healing and inspiration. Some songs may fill you with hope and determination and inspire you to keep standing and to stand stronger. I used to play them over and over because they made me feel good and reminded me of what the future would hold and not what the past had cost me. After I received my miracle, I would hear those songs and certain songs would remind me of certain parts of my journey. I would remember different levels I had gone through in my

walk with God and my heart would actually ache for that time when The Lord and I were getting to know each other. This sounds crazy to you now, but there will come a day when you will actually miss the time when you were alone and learning how to delight in Him. 4. Change your routine. If you had a daily routine together, change it. Make a new schedule that is NOT familiar to what you did with them. The memories will only keep your rooted in a hold position. Some people have to go or do these things just one last time. It’s sort of a way of saying good-bye. Don’t look at it that way, look at it as if you were saying “see you again soon” and when you meet again, you will have something new to add. Remember, this isn’t about the death of something, it’s about a new beginning. Knowing what makes up the pain you are feeling means you can avoid those things. It is easier said then done. Your mind is a powerful force to reckon with when it comes to controlling what you think, say and do. Right now you have to focus on eliminating the things that cause the pain that will stall your move forward. Soon I will introduce you to an unseen enemy that plays a major part in controlling your thoughts and emotions during these first few days. But for now, you have to want the miracle bad enough to take the first steps on your own with little knowledge of the tools and power that are at your finger tips. In the meantime, praying for strength is a good way to help you cope. By now your wondering when all the “God stuff” is going to kick in. Not to worry, it’s on its way but first you need to stabilize so that you can reconstruct. Let’s dip our toe into the water here and talk about Strength and how to get it at a time when you need it the very most, the beginning. God’s strength is always available to us, but we must have faith in Him and in His promises. We have to believe that this sort of supernatural spiritual steroid is right before us. All we need to do is look up and pray for it. The Bible tells us that His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). In other words He is training you and preparing you through this trial of heartbreak for a blessing that is much larger than you can imagine, the bigger the blessing the

more responsibility we have to nurture and protect it. So we now know that this whole situation isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t for nothing. When you know you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take another breath because it hurts so bad try saying this prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for commanding strength for me Father. Help me realize that all of my strength is in you. Father, I rejoice in certain knowledge that, through Jesus, The One who strengthens me, I can do all things. Please give me wisdom to know Him better and wisdom to know the paths I must walk or avoid each day to gain and maintain the strength I need to overcome and accomplish that which you have set before me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. Study Reference: Psalms 68:2, Psalms 84:5, Philippians 4:13, Proverbs 24:5 Meditate on the above scriptures and write a short essay on what they mean to you. E- mail your essay to shell@heartbreakuniversity.org

EXCERCISE: Keep your “God Book” or Journal handy and write everything you are feeling. Make prayer notes in your journal or on this page. Over the next week make 7 positive affirmations of how you are going to avoid pain i.e. “today I am going to put all of our pictures away”. Make sure you do what you say you’re going to do. ** Attend an HBU prayer meeting. Talk about the things that make you feel pain each day. Weekly attendance is crucial.

GARDENING 101 – PLANTING THE FIRST SMALL SEEDS OF FAITH Faith…Before we can have faith we need to understand it. The definition of faith is actually very exciting at a time like this. According to Merriam Webster, Faith is a firm belief in something of which there is no proof. If that’s the case then the promise given us in the Bible that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1) is enough proof that there is much hope in your situation. After all, God won’t let you hope for the impossible. He can DO the impossible (Mark 10:27) and He never leaves anything He starts unfinished. You can not get faith on your own, it is given to you by Our Heavenly Father. It is His first response to your desperate prayer of divine help in your situation. Think He doesn’t talk to you? Think again. Feeling the first seed of faith planted is officially your first encounter with hearing God. When The Lord plants faith, He is whispering to your heart, ever so gently that He has heard your prayer, is closer to you than you think and He is going to respond. The first seeds of faith are the greatest blessing or gift you will ever receive in your life. As time goes by you will realize that faith doesn’t come in handy for just a broken heart, it will sustain you through any trial you will ever face in your life…from a life changing catastrophic event to something that seems small like an unpaid electric bill of which there is no money. Faith truly is the title deed for the things you hope for. Now all you have to do is believe. There are a few components to faith that will make recognizing it, understanding it and utilizing it easier for you during your walk. Believing – You can not have faith without belief. Now there are a few things I want to mention here. First, the devil himself BELIEVES that God exists but he is arrogant enough to believe that he is going to defeat God in the end and at the very least, he believes that he is going to convince you that in times of silence and/or times of stillness when it seems nothing is going on in your prayer that God bailed on you. That’s his job, to make you not believe.

The type of belief you need is the kind that goes totally against your grain the kind that you have to have when everything around you looks unbelievable. This is the beginning of mind conditioning and listening to your heart, something we will get into later on. Faith is believing in what you can not see and is believing in what seems impossible. When you finally convince yourself that if you go against what your head is telling you and listen to that ache in your heart that cries out in desperation for relief, you will feel this little tickle in your belly, I call it the “warm fuzzies”, they tell you that there is a glimmer of hope. Rational thinking comes into play here also. Understanding that God is with you and that He exists and that He is the creator of all good things including and especially love is the meaning of believing. Realization is another key factor that comes with faith. It is through your open mind that you will realize that the “warm fuzzies” you are feeling is God speaking to you. Another good word for this is revelation. Revelation is an act of revealing or communicating divine truth or something that is revealed by God to humans. We always hear people talk about how God revealed certain things to them, guess what? Consider yourself in that category. When He planted the seed of faith in your heart, He revealed His presence in your life. It will be up to you to take all of the tools He is going to give you and nurture that seed until it grows into a mighty thriving tree. (Hebrews 1:1, 4,5 – 7,8) Trust is probably the most important accompaniment to faith. To trust in God is to have confidence in Him. You can not say you trust but doubt, the two do not go together. It’s kind of like oil and water. You are lifting your prayer up to God asking Him to step in and take charge but as soon as your prayer is finished you begin to worry that He can or will do it. This action is a complete contradiction. When you have asked God into your situation you have to push all doubt that creeps into your mind away and Simply Believe. (Hebrews Chapters 7,8) Faith in action is very important. When you receive the blessing of faith you have to start acting on it right from the very start. Your actions reflect your belief and also your trust. The word faith itself is a verb or an action word. Once you have that wonderful blessing of faith you can start acting in faith, talking in faith, thinking in

faith. This is a key ingredient in producing a miracle. In English, you have to act like you trust God, think like you trust God, talk like you trust God. (Hebrews 4,7, & 8) Discernment is a tricky part of faith in the beginning. As you grow and mature in faith you will be able to discern the things that are happening that are from Heaven and the things that are of the flesh or worldly. I like to call them leftovers. They are the leftover beliefs from the old you and the old way of life. If you were a nonbelieving skeptic before you are going to learn how to look at things in a total spiritual way. Walk by faith, not by sight. Spiritual thinking over material thinking. This is a learned process and is part of what changes your life. (Hebrews 26) The things above are the components of faith. It is the one thing we are going to nurture through out the whole process. At times you will feel like faith is the only glue holding you together and in reality, it is. It is your divine pass to the Maker of Miracles. This chapter covers the first plantings of the seed of faith. As we go on weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll learn more about faith and the different levels that we achieve as we mature. Different levels? Absolutely, faith grows into a mighty tree with lots of branches. Are you ready to ask for that seed of faith to be planted? Are you ready to let go of that weight youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re carrying around in your heart? Ready to start a brand new life with a fresh slate? All you have to do is open your heart and read this prayer...God will handle the rest. The following prayer can be modified to fit your needs but is a basic start.

Heavenly Father, I come before you. I thank you for sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sin. I acknowledge that I am a sinner and ask your forgiveness for the things I have done wrong. I renounce all other gods because you alone are the one True God. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sin and then rose to life on the third day conquering death. Please come into my heart and direct my life. Be with me and guide me, teach me your ways. Father, I ask this in the name of your Son Jesus. AMEN

It's OK if your not a overtly religious person, have no faith, have sinned the worst sins, by saying that little prayer, you are wiping the slate clean...your getting a fresh start my friend. Although you do not think you know God...He knows you. "You may not know Me, but I know everything about you." (Psalm 139:1) Author's Note: When I read the sinners prayer I was desperate. I wanted one thing and one thing only and that was for my relationship with my ex to be restored. I would have chanted the ABC's at the moon had I thought it would bring him back. When I realized that nothing else I was doing was working and in reality I was pushing him further away, I re-read this prayer and for the first time, it really sunk into my heart. I read it out loud then and I meant it. I was ready for change. I was ready to have everlasting happiness in my life. Not everyone that comes upon this prayer is the same. One thing we may all have in common is that we need something from God. In order to receive the blessings He has for us, we have to make some changes...Why? Because if we continue on with our old ways, the pain we are feeling right now will be a common feeling in our lives. With the Lord in control in won't be. Before you say the prayer above, think about being in front of the throne of God. Try your hardest to meditate and think about each part of the prayer and try to be sincere, if you're too numb to be sincere, then just ask God to please help you understand the prayer and what it means for your life. Once you say the sinners prayer there is no turning back, The Lord is involved in your situation and I promise you the outcome is going to be miraculous. Now that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve said the prayer I'd like to start by welcoming you to the family...The Lord's family. You are one of His very special children and your decision to live for Him is the best one you will ever make in your life. How you ask? How can you expect God to do anything for you when you have such little faith...heck, some people don't even know how to pray. I'll tell you how...by asking Jesus into your heart, you believed somewhere deep down inside of your heart that there IS a higher power...and you may only have faith the size of a mustard seed...but that's all it takes to move mountains. I know how bad you hurt right now...I have been there,

Those feelings of loneliness, rejection, and fear are all normal and you are one of the fortunate ones that have turned in the right direction, Up. The Lord promises to never leave you or forsake you...and the more you walk the closer to Him you will feel. EXCERCISE: The book of Hebrews has often been referred to as the biblical record of faith. The examples are our roadmap to understanding what faith is and what it does for us. In this exercise, read the book of Hebrews, use your God Book or journal to note the things that stand out in your mind or â&#x20AC;&#x153;jump at youâ&#x20AC;?. Bring your list to the next group meeting for discussion. Make a list of the things that stand out in the space below.

FAITH BUILDING PROMISES STRAIGHT FROM THE CREATOR The following are some promises taken directly from the word of God. Take time to meditate on these promises, read them then close your eyes and let them sink in. Ask God to reveal their special meaning for your life and situation. -

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 )

This promise demonstrates the nature of the kind of faith that is acceptable before God and that will triumph in the worst situations. It is faith that believes in spiritual realities, leads to righteousness, seeks God’s face and believes in His goodness, has confidence in His word (The bible), obeys His commands, regulates life on the promises of God, rejects the spirit of this present evil, seeks a Heavenly home, perseveres in testing, refuses the pleasure of sin, endures persecution, performs mighty acts of righteousness, suffers for God, and does not return to the old ways. – Inspired by the Full Life Study Bible KJV -

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith. (Galatians 5:22)

Contrasted to the works of the flesh is single-minded lifestyle called “the Fruit of the Spirit”. This is produced within as you allow the Spirit of God to direct and influence your life, to overcome the works of the flesh, and to walk in fellowship with God. -

For we walk by faith, not by sight: (2 Corinthians 5:7)

If your heart leads you to believe that the answer is coming you have to believe that over what you see with your eyes. -

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. (Mark 11:22)

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he

saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. (Mark 11:23) Believing that receives is not something humanly produced; rather, it is a believing faith imparted to the believerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart by God Himself. Sometimes the fulfillment which true faith desires is granted immediately; at other times it is not. God gives the faith that prayer has been heard and the request will be granted. The uncertainty we feel concerns the time of the fulfillment, not the granting of the request. (See also, Mathew 17:20 & 21:24) â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Inspired by the Full Life Study Bible KJV If God has planted the seeds of faith in your heart regarding this situation it is guaranteed that there is hope for a miracle. A promise from God is unbreakable. His promises are like receiving a check with an unlimited amount of funds (blessings) available.

AVOIDING THE TRAPS WE SET FOR OURSELVES Once you have faith, no matter how little it seems at the moment you are officially under the divine protection of God. These first few days and weeks are a time of stabilizing. It is a time when you are trying to learn to live without your lost love in your life or living with her or him in your life with an absence of mutual love and caring. Having spent the majority of your life thinking and living with worldly vision these old habits are not going to go away in the blink of an eye. They take work and effort on your part. Your heart is telling you that there is hope because God is involved but your mind is still believing what the eyes see and in most cases that might be nothing. This is normal and it is the first test of faith. The desperation that will flood you at times is normal and will require all of your strength to overcome. The imagination can be a powerful weapon against the heartbroken. It is easier to fall into the trap because of the familiarity of our old habits than it is to stand strong and believe in an outcome of which there is no proof in sight. There is proof and you can see it by looking deep into your heart. The hope you feel in your heart is proof that everything is going to work out perfectly but sometimes our minds will lead us astray. It is so easy to be sitting on the couch watching television or reading a book and the memories of all the things you did with your lost love start creeping up on you. You suddenly realize that you are sitting there alone and something is missing…them. Often, before you can grasp the new lifeline of faith you have been blessed with you are consumed with worry about what they are doing, who they are doing it with and the urge to make contact becomes overwhelming. This is normal but now is the time to learn how to overcome these waves of desperation. Don’t let the “what if’s” set you back.

Did you know that 99% of “what if” situations never occur? The “What if’s” are one of the worst demons we deal with when walking in faith towards a miracle of restored love. The ugliest of all “what if’s” are: - What if they stop loving me? - What if they forget about me? - What if they die before we get back together? - What if they meet someone else? (Major What if here) - What if they fall in love and marry someone else? - What if they avoid my calls for ever? - What if I run into them and they are with someone else? - What if they never forgive me? - What if you drive yourself crazy with what if’s? One of the most common “what if” situations is “What if they aren’t the one?”, then be at peace knowing that you are about to meet the man/woman of your dreams and fall head over heels in love with the one that is! Later on we’ll take a closer look at this particular issue. Shoving those thoughts of what may or may not be going on in the mind of the one your pinning for takes Herculean strength to do but as with any weight training program, the more you work-out, the easier it becomes. Now I know your probably wondering how you accomplish this feat. It’s called the Blank Sheet Method.

BLANK SHEET METHOD The blank sheet method is a simple way to gain control of the thoughts that tend to set you back when you’re trying to get ahead. Gaining control of you mind is key when moving towards your miracle. The blank sheet method has to be exercised in order to master it so if it doesn’t work the first few times don’t worry. One of the things we do when trying to repair a broken relationship is react to our lost loves actions or lack of action. We have incredible imaginations and in most cases our imagination is a wonderful thing. But when we are trying to overcome heartbreak, fix ourselves and stay patient while our broken relationship is restored, our imaginations can be a weapon against us. Later on we’ll learn how to apply God’s Armor, but during these beginning days and weeks when we are stabilizing ourselves the blank sheet method will come in handy. Everyone one of us faces a situation where our minds will add to the already devastating situation. (See chapter on What if’s?) Usually, our imaginations or thoughts will become a little overactive when we go through periods of silence from them or when we hear news about how they have moved on with their lives. The who, what, where, why and when’s become huge and distorted and as we sit and stew in these “imaginative” scenarios our minds start to override our faith and cause us to take actions that set us back. A perfect example of this is one of my members, I will call her Jill. Jill came to the Just4Ladies community with a shattered heart but determined to reach her goal and pray her relationship back together. Jill wanted a different relationship with the man she was praying for, she wanted more stability, less fighting, and the ability to deal with their issues without a war breaking out. Her husband, I’ll call him David, walked out on her claiming he couldn’t take the volatile turn their marriage had taken. David rented a small apartment and appeared to be moving on with his life. This drove Jill insane. She was devastated over the loss of him, afraid that the

marriage was truly ending in divorce and although she had placed her hopes in her new found faith that God hates divorce and would restore her marriage if she just learned the lessons He had for her, she let her imagination run wild after hearing reports that David was out with a group of friends which included some very attractive single women. She imagined him falling in love or lust with someone else and became obsessed with the thought of him with someone else. Her thoughts were constantly filled with visions of David romancing other women. Instead of pushing those thoughts out of her head and refusing to entertain them, she fueled them or rather she allowed her imagination to fuel them. This resulted in several horrible phone calls to David accusing him and at least two face-to-face meetings where accusations were flung and hateful words were exchanged. She let the “what if’s” take control of her and completely disregarded God’s promises to her if she just trusted in Him and believed. By the time she realized that David was just as miserable without her that she was without him it had caused additional resentment and hesitancy on David’s part to try and work things out. He decided he needed more time and was unsure if Jill would ever change. He grew silent and Jill grew desperate. Slowly, Jill started to apply the blank sheet method. When she would start to imagine David in the arms of another woman, she would visualize a totally blank white sheet of paper with nothing on it. She would force herself to think of just that blank sheet of paper in her mind and when the “what if’s” started to creep up on her, she would literally struggle to push them out of her head and imagine that blank sheet of paper. You can actually physically feel the struggle in your heart and mind to push these negative destructive images out of your head. As humans, it is much easier for us to believe in the negative than in the positive and in the beginning this method takes much strength and practice. The more you do it the less damage you cause to your cause. As time goes on and you learn to control what your mind can do to you, you can slowly imagine that blank sheet of white paper turning into a soft white light that is filled with God’s presence, peace and love. When the thoughts creep in that set you back, visualize that soft white light remember what it represents (God, Jesus,

Heaven) and remind yourself of the promises it holds for your obedience, faith and strength. I talked with Jill for hours about how to handle these destructive “what if” thoughts when they started hounding her. She slowly started using the Blank Sheet Method and it worked. Not only did she stop having those nasty anxiety attacks that come with imagining all sorts of “what If’s” but she had developed a sort of calmness about her that was never there before. When she spoke to David their conversations were light and after a few months started to become productive. Jill used the Blank sheet method to help repair some of her faults that she realized were part of the problem, one of them being her temper. Another good use for the blank sheet method is anger control. A temper tantrum or outburst can cause mucho problems when trying to win back the object of your affection. Especially since ninety-percent of the tantrums are based on “what if” scenarios, OR on the inability to manipulate our lost love into doing what we want. EXERCISE I’m sure your asking “How do I apply the blank sheet method?”. Here’s how you do it: The second you realize those “what if” or negative, destructive thoughts are creeping in, egging you to do something stupid think of a pure white blank sheet of paper. It takes a little bit of effort so get yourself an imaginary broom and sweep them away. Focus on the blank white sheet of paper and repeat the words “Bad thoughts, go away in the name of Jesus”. Keep saying it until the thoughts start to disappear. While your focusing on that blank sheet of paper imagine that the whiteness is God’s light. Get your God Book or journal out and write down the things that anger you the most about your lost love’s actions or inaction. Write the things you fear the most. Read the Book of John in the New Testament. This is a great starting point for new believers.

Note: What you find in the Bible is God's word. God can not lie. The promises He makes to you in the Bible are all truth. Every single situation you could ever deal with in life is addressed in the Bible. I bought a few Bibles. The one that worked best for me was the Full Life Study Bible. As you take this walk, you will start to hunger for God's word. It helps if you have a Bible that you can understand and when you can't, a good study Bible will have the interpretation at the bottom. You will be so shocked at how God leads you to what He wants you to read...Little by little you will learn more and more and sometimes you may read a passage and it won't make any sense, and then a week later you will read it and the meaning just dawns on you. That is How God reveals his words to you and that is a way for Him to talk to you.

TALKING TO GOD…THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP Now that you know that you answer is going to come from above you are starting to actually believe that God really can and will help. As with any relationship that is worth anything communication is key. Put aside the ideas of old that talking to God is a one way conversation. He is now your new best friend and as such you can talk to Him that way. There is NOTHING you can say to The Lord that He doesn’t already know. As time goes on you will learn that He is THE BEST friend you can and will ever have. It is an awesome thing when you think about how the Creator of the universe and the maker of miracles is your best friend. Imagine one of your girl or guy friends having all of the power in the world. God is exactly the same only He lives with you 24/7. He is available to talk to anytime day or night. His great big wonderful shoulder is always ready for you to cry on and the best part about it is, He counts every one of those tears falling from your eyes. Each tear means something to Him. He hurts with you and without you seeing everything He does, He goes about fixing it for you. Communication with God does not have to consist of strict regimented prayer done on your knees. Loosen up and talk to him like you would a friend, that’s what He wants from you. He wants you to love Him and trust Him the way you do one of your buddies.

Talk to Him anytime you need to and when in isn’t possible for you to speak to Him out loud, talk to Him in your mind. He hears you. The one thing that God can do that no other can is read your heart. If your heart is aching simply lift it up to Him and ask Him to embrace and heal that hurt. He will. The Lord values your heart more than anything else. If you haven't already, start addressing your journal entries to Him. Dear Lord, Dear Heavenly Father, Dear God… whatever you feel comfortable with. Sometimes when we find ourselves seeking God, it is during or right after a major catastrophic event. When I was chosen by God, I had NO CLUE how to pray to Him...the only prayer I knew in full length was "Now I lay me down to Sleep...". Pretty bad huh? Well, as the pain in my heart grew deeper, I just started talking to Jesus, in my mind and out loud. I cried out to him when I couldn't take the pain anymore. There were sometimes when the pain was so horrendous, I just kneeled down in front of my bed, sobbed and imagined myself lifting my heart up to Him...I asked Him to search it because I couldn't put the pain to words. He NEVER let me down. One of the things I did that helped me a great deal was this...I was feeling so very lonely, I kneeled in front of a chair in my room I laid my head on that chair and I imagined it being Gods lap, Oh how I cried my heart out to Him those times...and many times I still do. His peace comes over me and I feel better in no time at all...please try this if your feeling so very bad that you feel nothing will help those hurts. Developing a relationship with God is sometimes easier said than done. When we develop a relationship with other humans, we are able to look them in the eye and see them, we can carry on over coffee or a day of shopping…we have a physical relationship with our friends where we can actually give them a hug or hold their hands when they need us. Sometimes it is hard to imagine God as one of our buddies because we see Him only in our mind’s eye or in our hearts. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

As the days go by and you draw closer to Him, as your heart seeks His presence in it’s seemingly never ending pain you will start to look at the world around you in a spiritual way. This is part of developing a relationship with The Almighty. Six months ago if you were to walk out your door and feel a soft warm breeze you would have simply thought it was a pleasant day out. Now, as you tap into His heart and His will, that soft breeze can be considered a warm hug from His loving arms. Simple things like seeing your rose bush bloom can be considered flowers from your new best friend. Start looking at life with your heart and your soul, find Him in everything you look at, everything you see, everything you smell. All good and beautiful things come from His hand and are meant to touch your heart. He has put them here for YOU, He wants you to see and feel Him in those gifts. For too long you have taken the beauty of life, the “box of chocolates” He has sent you for granted. Living in Florida, we have thousands of turtle doves. They are a common bird here in Palm Beach County. I have come to realize that the symbol of these turtle doves is love and peace. When I am having a difficult day or am feeling anxious about a prayer I have lifted up to Heaven, I will go out into my back yard and meditate. The Lord has a way of letting me know that He is close by because each and every time I am feeling that restlessness in my soul, a turtle dove will come land on my pool enclosure and start at me and coo. When I was praying for true love and would have a bad day where I couldn’t see an answer in sight, He would send a pair of turtle doves and they too would sit and just stare at me and make that gentle cooing sound. It was as if He were showing me that the match was in the works and on its way. Now some people would say I was being ridiculous, that those turtle doves were common for Florida, but when your heart is seeking divine intervention and it begins to look through spiritual eyes and not worldly eyes, the world takes on a whole new image. My heart was seeking rainbows and roses and The Lord gave me plenty. He was telling me all through the months of worry and bouts of doubt, that He was in control and my determination to develop a relationship with Him was paying off. Even after I received my miracle, I kept looking at every situation, every little thing through those spiritual eyes. The results were not just a miracle in love but a whole new way of living. With that new way of living came an abundance of blessings some of which I had been blessed with for many years and never realized and a whole load

of blessings I wasn’t entitled too before I began my journey. It was like having a birthday every day! Sometimes while we are developing our relationship it can seem as if God has grown silent or that He isn’t close. It is during these times that we will begin to long for the peace of knowing He is close by. Remember one thing, God is NEVER far away even if it seems like He is. There are times when you start heading off into your own direction even though it might not be the direction He wants you to go in just yet, the urge to go that way gets overwhelming and off you go, by the time you get half way you realize that God didn’t leave your side… you left His to go after your worldly desires. Don’t worry, it happens. Just turn yourself around and within an instant, you’ll be back under His wing. He’ll let you do this because He loves you enough not to force you but to gently show you that your way of solving the problem may not be the best way…if you’re like me you’ll have to run into the wall a few times before you realize that under His wing is the safest and best place to be. To sum it all up, one of the key factors in getting your miracle is developing a sincere relationship with God. Don’t worry if it takes you a little bit of time to get used to the way this new relationship works, the more you put into it the quicker you will realize that one half of it was ALWAYS there, you simply didn’t recognize it. As your relationship grows your life is going to change in every single area…not just in your love life. If His advice leads you in a direction that isn’t what you would have chosen, listen to it because He knows the best route to take to get there even if it isn’t the fastest route, as your new best friend, your going to have to learn to trust Him. The easiest way to understand communicating with God is to tune your heart into His heart. Connect if you may. Close your eyes, clear your mind, open your heart and keep trying until you get it. *Miracle Getter: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.- Philippians 4:6 Exercise Practice talking to God the way you would a good friend. When you heart hurts, tell him about it. When you in the car, talk to Him. Everything you say is equivalent to a prayer. If you were raised to believe that there are strict prayer guidelines ask God

to give you peace about this method of communicating with Him. God wants to be your friend talk to Him like a friend. ** If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already, make arrangements for a coaching session with Michele. During this session you can go over anything that you do not understand or that you need help with. Coaching session are important for growth. Schedule a time today by e-mailing Michele at shell@heartbreakuniversity.org or by calling 561-352-9368 Coaching session Scheduled for: Date:_______________ Time:________________ Before Session Notes or Questions:

After your coaching session makes notes of the high points. Additionally, there may have been things discussed that come to mind that you would like more information about, write those things down too and as soon as you can, e-mail those things to Michele for clarification.

How did you feel after your session? What Good or bad feelings did the session leave you with?

List the things you feel you may need to change at this point:

THE WILL OF GOD – WHY WE FEAR IT During the first weeks of heartbreak when you start making your prayer for restoration or true love known, you will hear from many people who tell you “If it is God’s will for you to be together you will be” or “I’m not going to pray for you to get back together, I’m going to pray for God’s perfect will for you”. This instantly invokes fear into the heart of the new believer. What if he/she isn’t Gods will for me? What if it isn’t Gods will for us to be together? The mere thought that your lost love is not the one or hearing that “God has someone better” causes us a new believer to break out into a cold sweat and the anxiety creeps into your heart before you have c chance to think about it. Many a newbie has stopped their journey based on the well meaning prayers of other Christians. We won’t let that happen to you. These first few weeks are better known as the “stabilizing phase”. It is the time when we are being handed the tools we need to make a miracle and we’re getting used to how they work. It’s sort of like using a new software program. It takes a little reading, some practice and a few hit and misses before we fully understand what it takes to use it. Additionally, we have a new boss that can provide us with any benefit we need to get through the training. We use these weeks to get to know Him and

learn to trust that He isn’t going to bounce us out on our ear if we don’t get it right the first time. We are also going to meet a lot of folks who we could compare to coworkers. Some good and some not so good. As the days pass, you’ll start to understand who the serious workers are who are truly here to get others through by encouraging, inspiring and helping with a sincere desire to see you grow within this new family you have found yourself part of, and then there will be those that sure do seem to know a lot about the work but their teaching scare the daylights out of you and make you want to quit on the spot. By the time we’re done with this chapter you will be able to spot the good and weed out the bad. The reason why some people fear “Gods Will” usually leads back to their fear of God saying “No” to their choices. Gods will encompass every area of our lives, every decision, every action. His will for us is different in different areas but there is a basic foundation to His overall will for us. Gods will for us, first and foremost, is what is best for us. At times it may not seem like His will and your will are lining up but that doesn’t mean that what you want isn’t His will for you. It may just mean that what you want has to be changed or improved before it meets the criteria for His will for you. A good example of this is the wife who is praying that her abusive husband who left home to have an affair will return. Now put yourself in Gods position. If you had the power to grant your child whatever it is they asked for and they approached you and asked you to restore a bad situation with an abusive partner, would you? Heck No! However, if your child approached you and asked you to use your mighty power and love to change your partner, stop the abuse and restore the relationship so that it could be better than ever, you would do it. It’s a little easier to understand when you look at all components of your prayer. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The answer of whether or not it’s His will, will come as you start praying. You’ll feel it. Now keep in mind that God knows each and every one of us to our very core. He knows our future and He knows our past. A prayer that starts off in one direction may take on a life of its own and before you know it, you’re praying for something

totally opposite. When you have developed a relationship with Him the closeness you share will allow you to recognize His guidance in your prayers and His will for you. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye" (Psalm 32:8). – It is your sincere belief in Him, your willingness to learn what He is teaching you, and your trust in Him along with your righteouss heart that entitles you to this divine guidance. Which category do you fall into at this moment? (Be honest): 1. Really do not want to know His will for you. 2. Wanting to know His will but only accepting it if it is acceptable to you and fits your own will. 3.

Wanting to know His will for you and accepting it (saying yes) before you know what it is and no matter what the outcome.

One important thing to remember is that Gods will for you will never contradict His word. If you are in love with a married man or woman and you’re praying that they will leave their spouse and or family to be with you, you should probably count on God moving you in a different direction. Praying for another to divorce their spouse so that you can be together would be like asking God to break His own rule, inflict another person (the spouse) with the heartbreak that comes with being left, and in most cases these relationships do not last. To stay focused on this answer manifesting, convincing yourself that God wants you to believe, and have unshakable faith that the marriage will end is your will and not His. Remember, his will won’t contradict His word. If you have trouble with this get your study Bible out and read or go online and search the Internet for Gods will concerning….(fill in the blank). "Inside the will of God there is no failure. Outside the will of God there is no success." - Bernard Edinger

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15). Imagine that, The Lord has basically told us that if we ask for it and it lines up with His will, it’s as good as ours! Now your asking, “how do I know what God’s will for my life is?”. Here are a few steps to learning that. This is probably one of the most difficult areas of your journey but don’t worry, once you master the basic principles it becomes easier and easier and before you know it, living in His will becomes a way of life that requires very little effort in most cases. 1. The first thing you need to meditate on is the fact that God has a plan for your life. By turning to Him for help through this trial you have already begun to surrender YOUR will to Him. God told us in the Bible that He has a plan for every one of us. He said, 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,' (Jeremiah 29:11). This is such an amazing promise. He has a plan for us and is simply waiting for you to trust Him, once you do, the life He has mapped out for you is delightful!! Enter the trust thing again. Additionally the Bible says that God’s will is “good and pleasing” (Romans 12:2) So far so good. 2. The most important of all requirements is that we develop a relationship with Him through His son, Jesus. We’ll learn more about Jesus in just a little bit, the good thing is, we have already started to develop a relationship with Him. "This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." (1Timothy 2:3-4) 3. God wants commitment from us. No matter how bleak the picture looks to our human eyes or how tough the trial seems to be, He wants total commitment to staying in His presence and following the journey until the end. "If anyone would come to me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)

4. Reading Gods word daily will help you to learn more about what His will is for you. His word is the best guidance available to you. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105) 5. The closer you draw to Him the easier it will be for you to ask Him to help you. Pray for wisdom and guidance and He will give it to you. Remember to keep an open heart and mind so that you can hear Him. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) and in Philippians 4:6, God tells us that we can pray about everything “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God”. 6. God promises to send the Holy Spirit to help us. "...when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth..." (John 16:13a) 7. Our Heavenly Father will send Godly people and helpers across our path and into our lives to help us. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed." (Proverbs 15:22) 8. When you are on the brink learning what His will is about and your just not sure…listen for that peace in your heart that only He can give you. It will overcome everything else you are feeling and nothing will shake it, as it is a peace that can come only from God. "The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." (Isaiah 32:17) 9. Trust, trust, trust, a key factor in almost everything that has anything to do with Heavenly intervention. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6) and there is also "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

10. Make it a mission to learn what gifts He has blessed you with for His service. You have them, we all do. You simply need to find Him and with a little bit of prayer, you will. God always equips us to do what he calls us to do. If you aren't gifted in a

certain area, God is probably not calling you to minister in that area. (See Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 and Ephesians 4:11-13 for lists of spiritual gifts and a discussion of them.) and also Remember that God's ultimate purpose for all of us is that He would be glorified (1 Corinthians 10:31) and that the gospel and God's kingdom would be advanced (Genesis 50:20 and Philippians 1:12). The above items are a good start for seeking His will for your life. The bottom line is that many people will cross your path that mean well, they will tell you that if the relationship has ended it must not be God’s will. That’s not necessarily true and only time will tell. I can tell you this much, if the person who broke your heart is not the one then you will realize it on your own in God’s time. For now, The Lord is using this person and the hurt they have caused you to draw you closer to Him. So until such time that your heart let’s go…keep believing, keep hoping and keep praying. Be sure to ask God to reveal His will for this person. He will… I promise. Exercise Meditate on the above chapter. Get your God book out and write your fears and expectations regarding God’s will. Attend a HBU group prayer meeting about God’s will. Hear what others have experienced and learned. It will enlighten you. Notes:

DEAR GOD WHY? This is THE most asked question of all time. You have been digesting quite a bit of information over the past chapters in order to stabilize your heart and mind for the journey that lies ahead. I have really good news, you have already started the journey and cleared the first checkpoint! Although you may have read the first 50 pages in one night, count on coming back to them often. After all, it took 4 years to develop the course and each step had to be experienced before it could be shared and taught. After going through the stabilization phase you may be feeling exhausted. There will be times when your heart is so filled with hope, joy and expectation it feels like it’s going to burst, but then you will find yourself in a valley that takes the wind right out of your sails. You lay awake at night when things are quiet and the memories creep up on you and you whisper to God…”Why?” Why do you have a heart that is capable of loving this person so much that the pain it feels when they are gone feels likes it’s going to kill you? Why is He letting this awful thing take place? Why, Why, Why? Heavenly Father, this question gets asked a lot. "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?" "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" "Why me, Lord?" Help us to see your answer to our prayer. Our answer is Jesus Christ. Was his "Why" answered? You answered it Lord by lifting him from the cross, raising him from the grave and granting him eternal life. Help us to get our answer in that same divine plan. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Sometimes, God uses our trials to draw us closer to Him. Sometimes it's the only way that He gets our attention. We live in a world that is out of control. We don’t believe this because it’s the only way we know and until something happens to make us see differently we take the trial of a broken heart as a kind of punishment when in reality it is simply the love of a Father preventing us from further heartbreak. God is not punishing you, He is getting ready to bless you with the most precious of all gifts He has for us, the gift of true and perfect love blessed by His hand and created within His own heart. It is that feeling of love you have for others that give

you a glimpse of what He is made of and what He feels for you His most precious child. We can never understand how intense His love is for us. We can try, but until we reach Heaven, we’ll never fully understand it. However, it is the intense love you have for the one you have lost that give you a glimpse into the heart of The One who can restore love or guide you to the perfect love. God will allow our hearts to be broken in order to teach us how to appreciate the love we are blessed with, first and foremost…His. Secondly, when we travel through life doing our own thing, choosing our own paths, making unguided decisions without His help, we are bound to choose wrong. This goes for the people we pick as partners. We know what we want, but God knows what we need. He will ALWAYS give us what we need even if it isn’t what we think we want. Trust me, when you are blessed with what you need and not what you thought you wanted, it takes all of 3days to see how incredible His choice was over yours. Some of the reasons “why” that I have experienced through J4L members are women who choose abusive partners, women who have put their men before themselves and their children, men who choose women out of lust and nothing more and many other reasons. The preceding were just those that were living with their partners. The married men and women have a whole different set of “why’s”, these include partners who are substance abusers, adultery, workaholics that forget they have a spouse and/or family, people who are believers who chose to be with non believers. Another very common “why” is the infamous “baby weddings”, wedding because of pregnancy. I can’t tell you how many folks have taken the vows because the woman is having a baby and both parties want to save face with friends, family and society, or because they don’t want the baby to grow up without both parents. This is the WRONG reason to get married. You already made a mistake by getting pregnant in the first place, don’t compound it by marrying the wrong person. A child that grows up in a loveless home, or a home where the parents do not get along is not doing any good. Now, for those that are pregnant and waiting to marry the wrong guy KNOWING he’s wrong…ask God for guidance on this. If the baby’s father is not God’s choice for you, He’ll send you the one that is when the time is perfect. To marry this person only to divorce is not only going to cause you grief but the child

as well. Two people can make great parents to their child without marrying someone that is wrong for them. The pregnancy can be considered a lesson in itself and is sometimes the issue that brings us to our knees in the first place. Don’t make it twice as bad by giving into pressure to marry the wrong man. Every one of us has our “why”, most importantly you have to understand that the “why” is not a punishment but the beginning of a great journey towards the blessing of a lifetime. Don’t be deceived into thinking it’s all your fault, it’s not. It’s simply God’s way of getting your attention so that he can draw you closer to Him, show you what is really in store for you while you are learning to be close to Him, change you, change another by changing you, and prepping you for an abundance of miracles that flow into your life forever. Exercise Instead of grieving over “why” focus on the reasons you think God is getting your attention relating to yourself, your family, your lost love, job, etc. This is a painful process at times because we have to look at things we chose to ignore for a long time. Write what you are feeling in your God book or journal. Make notes about these things you see below and bring them to the next meeting.

PRAY? WHAT’S THAT AND HOW DO I DO IT? Now that we have gotten through the stabilizing phase of your journey we are ready to move towards the productive phase. Well, the phase where we actually feel like we’re moving forwardg. Praying is our direct line to God. Helen Steiner wrote a great poem about prayer, let me share it with you: What Is Prayer? Is it measured words that are memorized, Forcefully said and dramatized, offered with pomp and with arrogant pride In words unmatched to the feelings inside? No, prayer is so often words unspoken, Whispered in tears by a heart that is broken, For God is already deeply aware Of the burdens we find too heavy to bear... And all we need do is seek Him in prayer And without a word He will help us to bear Our trials and troubles, our sickness and sorrow And show us the way to a brighter tomorrow. There's no need at all for impressive prayer, For the minute we seek God He's already there. ~Helen Steiner~

To sum it all up, if you can think it, say it, feel it, utter it, whisper it, cry it, yell it, moan it…it’s a form of prayer when you lift it up to God. He understands the message however you put it to Him, and contrary to what some of us have been raised to believe, God is not this stern harsh presence we only read about in the Bible. He is love and the maker of miracles. Prayer is the key to your miracle when it is combined with faith. Sometimes we hurt so bad we just don’t know how to pray for what we need or the pain prevents us from being able to express ourselves the way we were taught. That is why God sent us a helper, He sent the Holy Spirit to intercede for us when we just

don’t know how. Praying is addressing God in word or thought, it is an Ernest request or wish. Prayer is the turning of your soul to God and true prayer seeks God himself. With Him, you get everything you need. When you pray, you’re speaking His language! In this section we’re going learn all we can about prayer. When you truly understand prayer it is the single most powerful tool you will possess in your lifetime. WHO IS JESUS? Of all the names you need to know, Jesus is the most important one of all. The Bible tells us that the only way we should approach God is through His son. Now there are some issues surrounding Jesus that I’d like to clear up. First, you needn’t be embarrassed to love Him and to let Him be your Savior. I have often heard people say that it took them so long to come to know Him because of negative or radical actions or views of other Christians. One of the most common concerns among new believers is that they do not want to use Jesus as an excuse to behave badly. “I don’t want to be one of those born again Christians who go around telling everyone that I’m born again in order to get away with saying one thing and doing another” is what many people say. Hypocrisy is a major issue among a lot of “Christians”. They talk the talk but they don’t walk the walk they are better known as Hypo-Christians. Being born again does not mean that you walk into every store and shout “Hey Everyone!! I’m a born again Christian!!” It means that you have died to an old way of life and are born again into a Christ way of life. What exactly does that mean, you say? I’ll tell you, but first you have to know who Jesus is and what makes Him a role model. First and foremost, Jesus is the only begotten son of God. Some people claim he's a great teacher. Others think he's a prophet. Some dismiss him as a liar or even a madman. Millions hail him as Savior and Lord.

Jesus had the power to forgive sins, to cast out demons, and to determine people's eternal destiny. He even declared he himself was God! Declaring that he was God so angered the religious and political leaders of his day that they had him crucified. They buried him in a borrowed grave, and three days later, he rose from the dead. The resurrection of Jesus is what makes Christianity unique. In fact, the validity of Christianity hinges on the proof of the resurrection of Jesus. If the resurrection never took place, then the Christian faith is based on a lie and people have no true hope for life after they die. But if it is true, then we can do nothing else but accept Jesus as Savior and Lord and receive his gift of love and forgiveness. Many people have claimed to be God, but only one man in history demonstrated through his actions that he had a supernatural power source. The power Jesus displayed shook Israel to its core. He healed the lame and the blind, controlled the movement of fish, and calmed storms. Not only did Jesus heal hundreds of people from sickness and disease, but on several occasions he raised people from physical death! If He could raise a human from death, He can restore life to a dead relationship. The hardest thing for us as humans to comprehend is why Jesus came to earth. He came here to die for OUR sins. Jesus died for all our sins, was buried, and was raised on the third day are the cornerstone truths of being a Christian. Jesus died in order to save us. Then He returned to life to prove that He was sinless and that He was God. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Cor. 15:3-4) When scripture says that Jesus died, it means that His physical body died but not His spirit. Three days after His physical death, Jesus' body returned to life. His spirit never stopped existing. For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit . (1 Peter 3:18) God did not die. In fact, the real person of any human being is not the outside or physical appearance that we call the flesh. Our real self is our spirit which exists on

the inside. This means that Jesus' physical body was killed on the cross. The heart of His physical body stopped and the mind stopped functioning. But the real Jesus - His spirit - continued to live. His spirit was still alive. All of us will live forever. Our bodies will get old and stop functioning but our spirit will always live forever. Our bodies will return to life someday at the resurrection. But Jesus' body was resurrected within three days to prove that He was sinless and that He was God.

When Jesus died, He died for a reason. His death was not an accident. He came to this earth in order to forgive our sins. He had to die in order to do this. He came because Adam and Eve had disobeyed God. In order to rescue us from the penalty of our sin, a sinless individual had to die for us. Someone who did not deserve to physically die had to choose to die for us. Jesus did that for us. . . . so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him. (Hebrews 9:28) When Jesus died He earned the right to "rescue" or "save" individuals. He was sinless. He did not deserve to die. It was His choice. Now He can forgive the sins of anyone who wants his/her sins forgiven. It is our personal choice and He has left that decision to each of us. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16) God was so tired of all of the sin in the world and He loved us too much to watch us die from that sin, He became a man (Jesus) and died for our sins. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot to absorb isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it? Some people believe that God will evaluate the good and evil deeds that we have done before deciding if we go to Heaven or to hell. One man some years ago, said that he was confident that he would be able to convince God that he deserved to go to Heaven. But he missed the fact that only Jesus can save us from the consequences of our sins. Our good deeds will not. There is no other name under Heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved. (Acts 4:12)

If you confess with your mouth Jesus {as} Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. (Rom. 10:9) Jesus has gotten a bad rap over time due to the irresponsible actions of some Christians. How you share your knowledge and love for Jesus with others is important and must line up with your actions and lifestyle in order to be a credible believer. Jesus is the ONLY way to answered prayer. Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the Father but by me. (John 3:16) Learning about Our Savior is a lifetime lesson. It never ends. Exercise The following is a list of scriptures that explain what Jesus is to us. Meditate and study these scriptures. JESUS IS OUR LORD Philippians 2:9-11 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in Heaven, and things in earth and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. JESUS IS OUR LOVE Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 1 John 4:7-12 Beloved, les us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because God sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live though him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our

sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. 1 John 4:16&19 and we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love: and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. We love him, because he first loved us. JESUS IS OUR PEACE Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. Ephesians 2:13-14 But now in Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the Blood of Christ. For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and the broken down the middle was of partition between us; Isaiah 9:6-7 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. Romans 16:20 And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen. JESUS IS OUR FORGIVENESS Ephesians 1:6-7 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace. Psalm 85:2 Thou hast forgiven the iniquity of thy people, thou hast covered all their sin. Selah.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. JESUS IS OUR FELLOWSHIP 1 John 1:3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. 1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. JESUS IS OUR EXAMPLE 1 Peter 2:21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: 1 John 2:6 He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.

Hebrews 12:2-3 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith: who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. JESUS IS OUR SECURITY 1 Peter 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in Heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. John 10:27-29 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Jude 24&25 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and for ever. Amen. 2 Corinthians 1:22 Who hath sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts. Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. JESUS IS OUR SUFFICIENCY 2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you: that ye,

always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work. Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 2 Corinthians 3:5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God: Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. JESUS IS OUR FULFILLMENT Matthew 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Psalm 107:9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Joel 2:26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. John 6:35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. Romans 8:32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? JESUS IS OUR EVERYTHING John 5:17 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Ephesians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Heavenly places in Christ. Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Make Notes of anything you do not understand about Jesus. Arrange to meet with the pastor or priest of your church for clarification. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

THE FOUR A’S OF PRAYER

There are four basic principles of prayer that make prayer time easy. They are: ADORE - to worship or honor as a deity or as divine APPRECIATE - to recognize with gratitude ADMIT - to concede as true or valid (confess) ASK - to make a request for

The four A’s cover all of the things required of us when lifting up a wish to God. In the beginning, the first “A” can be tough, it is sometimes hard to find anything to adore, let me tell you, it isn’t about adoring what is around you it is about adoring God. That makes it easier. There are a gazillion things to adore about The Lord. His mercy, His love, His promises and His loyalty are just a few. Appreciation is another tough one in the first leg of your journey. What the heck could you possibly appreciate about these circumstances? Right now, not much but it isn’t the situation we are focusing on in prayer, it is God. We can appreciate plenty about Him. We can thank Him for just being there to lean on during this trial, thank Him for the hope we have because we believe in miracles because of Him, and thank Him for our surroundings, for rainbows, for warm summer breezes. There is plenty to appreciate when you take the focus off the problem and direct it towards Him. Admitting is a real challenge. Another good way to look at this portion of prayer is to take all blinders off of your eyes and look into the spiritual mirror. Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, show me everything that led to this fall… Hmmm, this part is a tough pill to swallow the first time we do it, but once we admit our short comings, confess those sins and sincerely realize what it is that needs to change the next step is all the more joyous. The third “A” will come to you late in the night and fill you with remorse and shame…lift it up to God after all, He sent His son to die for you for this part of prayer…the confession of your sins. If you can’t remember everything you have ever done wrong in your life don’t worry, try starting with the things you know you did today the rest will come as you draw closer to Him. You may think about certain

things and not believe they are a sin, but as you grow in Him and Him in you, you will start to think differently. Once you have admitted you can then move on to the fourth “A”…Asking. Start by asking God to forgive your sins. Everything else you ask for should come after this. I like to put the things I think He will find priority at the top of the “ask” list, such as, helping me find the courage to forgive my enemies for wrong they have done, helping me to be more like Him each day, Help me have Godly wisdom and then the personal stuff. Jesus taught us how to pray the 4 A’s in a simple fashion. He gave us the Lords prayer: Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen. We learned in the last chapter that in order to get to the Father we have to go to through Jesus. At the end of a prayer you often here the person or pastor say “In Jesus name” or “In the name of Jesus”. To make this understandable, imagine it this way. You and Jesus are sitting around talking, you are telling Him all about the trouble you are having with your heartbreak and the issues that surround it and you tell Him how you are asking The Lord to help you. He looks at you and says “My dear friend, I sit at the right hand of our Heavenly Father, He has given me the authority to bring your needs to Him, and anything that you ask for in my name He will give you” WHOA! That is a pretty

heavy realization. The best part about it is, that’s how it works. All you have to do is believe it. Jesus taught us how to pray so that we could have the things we ask for, He said, “Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” (Mark 11:24) The lessons we have learned in previous chapters will tie into your prayer life. First, you have to have faith. You have to believe you receive when you pray. This is the condition that has to be met if you are to have what you ask for. This is the principle behind prayer that gets an answer. You must have faith you receive when you pray. Faith, for many people, is a mysterious thing but the Bible gives us a plain definition of it. In Hebrews we are told, Faith is...the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1) Faith is your evidence. After prayer, it is the evidence you have that you have received what you asked for. The thing you asked for may be out of sight to your senses but it is seen by your faith. How can you have this faith? God has already given you a measure of faith. You must take this measure of faith and with it hear God's Word. (Ro.12:3.) Before you pray and ask for something, first hear with your measure of faith God's promises about it. In this way, you will receive the faith to believe you receive when you pray. (Ro.10:17.) Now you are ready to pray and ask in the name of Jesus for what you desire. The moment you pray faith will be your evidence that you have received. There is to be a having in the realm of your senses but, at the completion of prayer, you may not have it yet in that realm. The transfer from the realm of faith to the realm of your senses is yet to come. How will this transfer happen? It will happen as you continue by faith and in faith.

You have prayed in faith and have received by faith. Now you will have to walk in faith and talk in faith to the place where a transfer can be made out of the faith realm into the physical sense realm. Your tongue is your rudder After you pray, if you will talk by faith like you prayed by faith you will move towards the place where a transfer can be made out of the faith realm into the physical sense realm. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything - or destroy it. (James 3:4-5)- The Message. So the words from your tongue set a course in your life - a bearing for your life to head off on. Your direction of movement, after you pray, is determined by what your tongue declares. By your words you will be taken towards having, or away from having, the thing you received in the realm of faith when you prayed. "I hear what you're saying but I believe in telling it like it is." I occasionally hear this from people and then they sometimes add, "The Bible might say I am healed but if I feel sick I am going to say I am sick!" James in his epistle acknowledges that this is a type of wisdom. He says at the same time though, This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. (James 3:15 - NKJV.) These are strong words but the heart of God is in them desiring perfect well-being for you. God wants you to know that it is not His way to allow the report of your physical senses to control your tongue. He wants you to know, that no matter what your physical senses report, His Word about it is still the truth. Your tongue should be submitted to the truth not to your physical senses. James exhorts, Lie not against the truth. (James 3:14)

God's Word is truth. James, by the Holy Spirit, is exhorting you here to stop contradicting God's Word. What must you do then? You must line up your words with God's Word. For example, if God's word says you are a new creation but the report from your body and mind says you are not, you nevertheless determine to say the report that God's Word gives.

** Some of the information above was written by Pastor Simon from Harvest Field Church in Cheltenham, England. THE BOOK OF LIFE FOR LIFE As you continue your journey you will realize that prayer is your lifeblood. As a new believer or a “baby” you will need nourishment in order to grow, the absolute best nourishment you can get is the Holy Bible. The Bible is God’s word, it is His promises and His rules. The Bible will be your power and your sword. Every single situation in life is covered in the Bible. Society has led us to believe that because the Bible was written thousands of years ago that the principles are based on ancient times. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The Bible, inspired by the Word of God was written to accommodate every age throughout history. When you have an open mind and a willing spirit you will clearly see how the lessons and principles in the Bible apply to your life and today’s world. Without reading and studying the word of God you will stand still in your walk. It is an infallible authority and your guide for life. Treat it like gold because it is more valuable. At the end of this chapter you will find a list of scripture to help you through almost all of life’s issues. The Bible provides the nourishment you need to reach the miracle you seek. It takes you from a baby Christian to a mature believer and helps you find the way you are meant to go. Additionally, the bible reveals the personality and the heart of God. It brings you closer to Jesus and helps you know the things that causes billions to love Him and follow Him. When you read about the miracles Jesus performed you can almost see

yourself in a situation where your faith rewards you with the things your heart desires. As you read the stories and scriptures you can close you eyes and place yourself in the position of those that walked with Jesus and received miracles at His hands. One of my favorites is found in the book of Mathew 8:5-10 it talks about the unshakable faith of roman centurion. This passage helped to define my faith and prayers early on in my walk. The centurion approached Jesus and told him of his servant at home who was extremely sick, Jesus offered to go home with the centurion but the centurion told Jesus that he was not worthy of having The Lord in his home but asked Jesus to simply speak the word and his servant would be healed. Jesus did so and the servant was healed and Jesus marveled and said to all of those following Him “Verily I say to you, I have not seen faith as great as this anywhere” This centurion simply believed. Can you imagine having that kind of faith? I would never have known that faith could be applied like that had I not been reading the Bible. The good thing about reading the Bible is, when you ask God to show you something you will be amazed at how you’ll be reading and all of a sudden a scripture stands out at you. It’s like He is pointing and saying “read this one!!” Or, you’ll be seeking the answer to some issue you are faced with and up pops a scripture that answers the question. A good way to learn the Bible is through a good Bible study. Almost all churches have them and they are an excellent way of learning what His word means and how you can apply it to your life and your situation. As you read the Bible you will learn that you can stand on those promises while praying sort of like praying the promises into manifestation. For instance, Jesus told us that where two or more are gathered in His name, He shall be there also. (Mathew 2:20) I can not tell you how many people have asked me to “gather” with them to pray for something. It is saying to Jesus, You told me that when I am standing with others praying for something, you are in our midst! How awesome is that?

The Bible is God’s book of promises. When you educate yourself you can properly apply the promises to your life. Additionally, the Bible outlines what God expects of us in return, this is the most important tool for developing a relationship with God. It, plus prayer exposes you to God’s most vulnerable part…His heart. Once you have experienced His heart, and felt the wonderful gift of peace He gives, you will start to reprioritize your thinking. You’ll start to realize that within that book lies the key to closeness with The Master. The following pages contain some promises from God for you to get started with. Take the time to search and find some new ones too. If you are having trouble understanding them. Bring them to your next HBU group meeting for discussion. PROMISES TO START WITH FOR COURAGE TO GET THROUGH THE ROUGH TIMES Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thin heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. Philippians 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. THE GIFT OF FAITH AND BLESSINGS FAITH BARES Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Galatians 5:22b ...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith. 2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight:

Mark 11:22 And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. Mark 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. GODS FAITHFULNESS TO YOU Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to usâ&#x20AC;Ś Psalm 119:160 Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth forever. Isaiah 46:11b ...yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it. WHEN YOU FEEL FEAR Mark 4:40 And He said unto them, why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith? Luke 12:32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Hebrews 13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. WHEN YOU NEED GUIDANCE OR HELP IN TROUBLES Psalm 48:14 For this is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. Isaiah 28:26 For His God doth instruct him to discretion, and doth teach him. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalm 37:39 But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord: He is their strength in the time of trouble. Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in Him. Psalm 37:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand. Pslam 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. Psalm 126:5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. Psalm 126:6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. Psalm 9:9 The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. PROMISES FOR HOPE AND JOY 1 Peter 1:21 Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God. Proverbs 14:32 The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous have hope in his death. Colossians 1:27b ...which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: Psalm 71:5 For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. 1 Peter 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Psalm 4:7 thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. John 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. Habakkuk 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. 1 Peter 1:8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: John 16:22b ...I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.

WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Isaiah 58:9 Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am... Galatians 28:15 and, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of. Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

GODS PROMISES OF HIS LOVE FOR YOU John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should perish, but have everlasting life. Jeremiah 31:3 the Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee. Ephesians 2:4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, Ephesians 2:5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) Ephesians 2:6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. 1 John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his

Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him. 2 Thessalonians 2:16 Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace. GODS PROMISES ABOUT MARRIAGE Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and thy labor which thou takest under the sun. Proverbs 5:15 Drink waters our of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. THE MERCY HE SHOWS US AND THE PEACE HE GIVES Psalm 103:13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. Psalm 103:17 But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children. Isaiah 60:10b ...for in my wrath I smote thee, but in my favor have I had mercy on thee. Colossians 3:15 and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

Philippians 4:7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Luke 7:50b ...thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace. 2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means... John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. PRAYER PROMISES WE RECEIVE WHEN WE PRAY WITH A SINCERE HEART Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. 1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us: I John 5:15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. Psalm 91:15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him... Psalm 34:17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

Psalm 55:17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice. Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. GODS PROTECTION AND FORGIVNESS Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Psalm 121:7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. Psalm 121:8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even forever more. 1 Peter 3:13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? Proverbs 1:23 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dewll safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil. Psalm 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety. Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation: whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Mark 6:12 And they went out, and preached that men should repent. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Matthew 9:13b ...for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Matthew 1:21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.

1 John 3:5 And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin.

1 John 2:1b ...And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 1 John 2:2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for our's only, but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 Peter 2:24 who His own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. 1 Timothy 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. Matthew 26:28 For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. Galatians 1:4 Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: SALVATION â&#x20AC;&#x201C; THE GREATEST OF ALL PROMISES (FOR US AND OUR LOST LOVE) John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God John 3:4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter a second time into his mother's womb, and be born? John 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. John 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit

is spirit. John 3:7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 1 Timothy 2:3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior; 1 Timothy 2:4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. Titus 3:4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared, Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Titus 3:6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior. John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: John 1:13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. TRUST AND WISDOM Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of

thine heart. Psalm 37:5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Psalm 40:4a Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust,... Psalm 125:1 They that trust in the Lord shall be as mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth for ever. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Ecclesiastes 2:26a For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy:... Psalm 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. THE WORD OF GOD IN THE WORD OF GOD Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth;...

Revelation 1:3 Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand. Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. 1 Peter 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: EXERCISE The above are just a very small taste of the wonderful promises and loving guidance you will find in the Bible. Meditate on the ones that call out to you. Take a moment to write down the promises that made you feel the most hope. In your God Book or journal write a prayer to God and include at least one of the promises you are standing on. Favorite Promises: Chapter & Verse:

Promise:

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN – THE SPIRITUAL WAR Most everyone has heard the term “Spiritual warfare” but most don’t understand what it really is until they have surrendered their hearts and their will to God. We all know that the world consists of good and evil. Put aside all of the gore you watch on television and open your spiritual eyes as this next chapter will help you deal with the roller coaster ride a broken heart can cause. Spiritual warfare is the struggle to live your life in a way that reflects the new presence in your heart (God) in a world that is ruled by materialism, lies, and other not so holy things. There is one force behind the evil, that is the devil, once you learn to recognize him and his tricks and learn how to use the tools that have been given you in the Bible, the war becomes easier to fight. The Bible tells us that the devil, also know as Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, etc. was an archangel who decided he wanted to take over the divine throne of God. It didn’t happen and as a result of him and his buddies even attempting it, they were not only defeated but banished from Heaven. The devil has identity, a will, ability, and much supernatural power, although his power is derived from lies and deceit. So far I have never heard anyone tell me about any Linda Blair like encounters but I have heard hundreds of people talk about the feelings of doubt, despair, hopelessness and sorrow they’ve experienced after turning their faces up to Heaven. These, amongst other things are tools of the devil. The devil has already lost but until such time that he is banished to the lake of fire (Hell) for all eternity, he roams the earth and tries as hard as he can to seal the same fate as his own for as many of us as he can. He is doing this to hurt God and like any father, God hurts when He loses us to the devil and his tricks. Fortunately, He loves us enough to rescue us from such a wicked fate when we call for Him even though we have been less than worthy of His rescuing at times. Sounds kind of like a Stephen King script doesn’t it? Now open your spiritual eyes and see the anchor that has been keeping you from a life filled with blessings, happiness and true, unconditional love. Your spiritual vision allows you to see the unseen, it allows you to view the forces behind your misery and struggle. Those things can be found in the Bible in the book of Ephesians 6:12. "For we struggle not

against flesh and blood, but against the kingdoms, against the powers, against the world leaders of this darkness, against spiritual wickedness in the high places". In the beginning it will be easier for you to recognize the devils arrows that continue to batter you which make it easier for you to use the weapons that God gave you to fight them. These gifted weapons made for our use are found in Ephesians 6 13-18 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Now don’t let that shake you, these weapons are actually very easy to use, applying them is the key. The belt of truth represents Jesus Christ and the Gospel. Thus the importance of reading and literally absorbing the Bible. His word is the Truth. The breastplate of righteousness is living according to the truth and walking in His ways. To be righteous means acting in accord with divine or moral law or free from guilt or sin. Our feet should be fitted with the gospel of peace – these shoes are obtained from faith in His word. The whole core and center of the gospel of peace was built around the person of him who was cradled in the manger, or whom on that night the angels sang, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, good will to men.” Or to put it even more correctly, “on earth to men of good will.” . The gospel of peace, then, is the message of salvation that comes through the cross of Christ, and reconciles parties that previously were separated or hostile toward one another. This explains the paradox of why the gospel of peace is to be used in the arena of holy war.

The shield of faith is fully trusting God and is able to stop and put out (quench) all doubts, whisperings and temptations; all the fiery darts. The helmet of salvation is used to protect the head, or in this case, the thoughts, intelligence, the mind. If we follow through consistently in our application of these pieces of armor, we will discover that helmet represents something Christ is doing in us and through us in the world. This helmet can keep our thinking straight and preserve us from mental confusion and darkness, both arrows from the devil. The sword of the spirit is the word of God. It is the authority of scripture. God knew we were going to be fighting this spiritual battle once we surrendered ourselves to Him, He sent us into battle prepared. I can’t stress to you enough how important it is to know His word. With it you have more power and authority over this evil than you can imagine at this moment. We’ll learn more about that soon. Next we’ll move on to recognizing when we’re being attacked. SPIRITUAL WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST US One of the most common weapons used against us is confusion. Confusion as to whether or not what we are feeling is from God or from the devil. Here are some of the weapons the devil uses to defeat and discourage us. FEAR - Your afraid of the outcome, your afraid they are with someone else, your afraid that God will not or can not do what you are asking...you are afraid of the future...God did NOT give you a spirit of fear. Author: The Devil CONTEMPT - You feel great contempt towards God and anyone that is remotely involved in this situation you are in. The feeling is so strong you actually want to snarl sometimes. Author: The Devil CONFUSION - Is this Gods will for me? What if it isn't is this doubt God speaking to me? Am I really praying for the right thing, do I keep praying? Should I just go back to my old ways because this isn’t working? Author: The Devil

DOUBT - Doubt that God can fix your situation, doubt there even is a God. Doubt about your direction and motive, doubt they are coming back. Author: The Devil JEALOUSY - This is just a wicked emotion. There is no good to it when used against others. It is destructive and accomplishes nothing. The only one that has the right to be jealous is God. He wants you to worship and love no other God but him. Author: The Devil GUILT - Feeling like it's all your fault. You didn't do what you thought you could have. What if's. You don't feel worthy of God's love or forgiveness. Guilt is a wasted emotion. God does not hold your past sins against you, when you ask forgiveness he wipes the slate clean. NEW BEGINNING!! Author: The Devil REBELLION - So God didn't give you what you wanted when you wanted it how you expected it. Now your mad, There is no God, He doesn't love me, I will just go out and do what I did before. The devil does NOT want you to be close to God. He'll even use logic to trap you. God's wisdom outweighs the devils logic ANY DAY!! Author: The Devil DEPRESSION - Feeling like it is never going to get better. That down in the dumps just want to lay down and die feeling. The lack of desire to do your normal every day routine, being plunged into a pit of despair. This is one of the devil's most dangerous methods. He has captured one soul too many with this device. Author: The Devil SEPERATED FROM GOD - Feeling like God is so far away from you you'll never see him again. Like no one is there listening to your pleas for help. Continuing a life of sin will cause you to feel separated from God. Author: The Devil DESPAIR - This is all of the above mixed into one big lump. It's a feeling of devastation and sometimes we feel it right after feelings of extreme hope. The devil will show you every bad thing that has or could happen and he'll deceive you with thoughts that no one is listening. This is the hardest of all of his tricks to deal with. Author: The Devil

Without understanding the battle that goes on within each one of us when our hearts are broken, you have already unknowingly felt the devils arrows pierce your heart. You have felt fear, fear that maybe your lost love is gone forever, you have felt hopelessness when your attempts to restore the relationship have gone wrong, anger at the person for the pain they are causing, and when your prayers for God to restore aren’t answered immediately, you feel separated from Him and maybe even anger towards Him for allowing this staggering pain to continue. The depression that settles over you is another way for the devil to deceive you. He is making you believe that this is hopeless and that praying isn’t going to change it. He may put doubt in your mind that there even is a God and if there is, He is probably saying “No” to your request. These are lies. Believing these lies is the way you give Satan or the evil in this world power over you. Many people simply give up because they believe the lies and if they hung on just a little longer, the answer would have come. Instead they walk away from the faith they had just discovered and start right back at square one only to find themselves back on their knees again. This portion of the course is designed to teach you about the obstacles you will face how to recognize them and overcome them. Everyone of you will travel this journey at your own pace. The progress you make depends on how fast you absorb the lessons along the way. When you recognize the obstacles you will face you will be able to hurdle over them instead of being knocked down and having to climb them. When you do the latter, it feels like scaling a mountain but when you recognize that the evil one is trying to slow you down, stop you and turn you back you can breeze right past him and laugh at his tricks. This makes God VERY happy and the more you learn the easier it becomes…You will feel how proud Our Father is of you for trusting in Him to get you by the obstacles and just like any parent, He will reward you! Many times along the way you will find yourself faced with questions of whether what you are feeling is from God or a form or trickery from the devil. God does NOT make you feel any of the above only the devil does. It is critical that when you start to feel any of the things above you pray. Pray for God’s protection and for Him to give you clear and precise wisdom about the feeling you are experiencing. The following things come ONLY from God:

PEACE – We know the Lord is close to us and we are on the right path by the peace we feel, a peace that surpasses all understanding. When we praise and pray and we feel peace descend like a dove it is God's Spirit moving within us. (“…In quietness and trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15) ("...we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 5:1) " (“...Let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." -- Phil. 4:6,7) LOVE – This is the kind of love that makes you want to walk up to complete strangers and hug them and tell them you love them. You start to look at the world through Jesus' eyes. ("Love your neighbor as you love your self" Matthew 22:34-40)

FORGIVENESS – This can be a tough one but when you ask the Lord to soften your heart and help you to forgive those whom have wronged you and you realize you really do love them too (see above) HOPE – Better known as the butterflies. Your life is changing everyday and every minute. You have hope that the outcome will be what your heart desires. Hope is desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment. JOY – The joy you feel is from God, it is Him smiling down upon you as you conform your life to that of Jesus'. You feel Joy in knowing He is always with you and always only a prayer away. Joy is kind of like being happy even though the thing you want most is missing. It is being content with Gods presence alone. TRUST – Amazing how we trust each other but we have a hard time trusting the One who created us. When you feel peace knowing that whatever the outcome is God will make it perfect you have trust. If He can make the world and all that is in it...you can trust Him. Trust is basically having confidence that He will make it happen. HUNGER FOR THE WORD OF GOD – You have an extreme hunger to learn more about the God that created you and can do all things. The Bible holds all of the promises and instructions for living a righteous life, a righteous life leads to effective prayers. You will start to feel a longing to learn more.

FAITH – An unshakable belief and trust in and loyalty to God. DELIGHT – To be sincerely happy and take great pleasure in The Lord's presence in your life. To look to Him for pleasure and for the warm fuzzies you get in your heart. If you get the warm fuzzies when you think of God, no matter how bad your situation may be...you delight in Him. PATIENCE – To wait for the miracle without worry. When you feel the things in the second list 98% of them over the things in the first list…you are starting to sincerely delight in God. This is a learned process but the more you practice the easier it becomes. The devil is on a mission to stop you and keep you in his camp. Before your knees hit the floor you were one of his. He absolutely hates losing you to the other side (Heaven) and will spend his days finding ways to prevent you from being close to God. The following is a writing I found on the Internet. Author is unknown but is a very good example of how things happen and how blind we are by the everyday happenings of life. These are the devils beatitudes:

The Devil's Beatitudes If the Devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably look like this: Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour or two once a week with their fellow Christians in Church - they are my best workers. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked I can use them. Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to church they are my missionaries. Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone's nerves - they are mine forever. Blessed are the troublemakers - they shall be called my children. Blessed are those who have no time to pray - they are easy prey for me.

Blessed are the gossipers - for they are my secret agents. Blessed are those critical of church leadership - for they shall inherit a place with me in my fate. Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears for them. Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself - I've got you. Author Unknown

Have you fallen into his trap? Of course you have, we all have but now that you can recognize the trap you can avoid it. In order to learn what God is trying to teach you on this journey you have to be able to avoid the pitfalls that will keep setting you back. In other words, you can not claim faith but then spend days crying with worry. That is a contradiction. God does not make bad things happen and he certainly isn’t giving you all of those bad feelings, that is the devil. Now that you know it you can fight it. There are a couple of things you need to know. The spiritual battle you are fighting is not your battle it is God’s. You are not in war for any other reason except the hate the devil has for The Lord. It is His battle and although you are on the battle field at times, He has given you the spiritual tools you need to defeat your enemy. Secondly, one of the best ways to chase the devil away is praise. The devil is trying to deceive you into believing that God is not answering, that He has forsaken or abandon you that He isn’t going to help you. All lies. The Lord promises NEVER to forsake you and when the devil has spent time attacking you with doubt, fear, panic, etc. he expects you to lash out at God and to separate yourself from Him, when you do the complete opposite and praise Him, the devil retreats quickly. Another thing you need to understand is that by the power and authority given to you at the crucifixion, you have the authority to rebuke the devil any time he steps foot in your zone. He HAS to flee when you rebuke him and the only way to rebuke him is in the precious and holy name of Jesus Christ. One of the things you need to realize is that the devil will almost always attack the most vulnerable part of you. He will go for the softest spot which right now is your

heart. Once you have caught onto how he works and you start deflecting his blows and countering his attacks he will find another way to slow you down and try to separate you, this is where he gets nasty and the journey gets a little rough. The devil knows that you are walking down this new path and trying your best to follow the rules. He knows how hard you are trying to leave the old ways that drenched you in sin behind you and when his attempts to pierce your heart and make you give up on love fail, he’ll use temptation to try and lure you back into the old sinful ways. Be on guard for all of his tricks. If drugs or alcohol were his bait in the past turn to God for help in avoiding them. The Lord is your strength and He will never allow you to be tempted without a way out. Sometimes He allows you to be tempted to see how strong in your new faith you really are. Knowing this ahead of time allows you the opportunity to prepare for it. This is going to require all of your strength. Your strength comes from God right now so when you are feeling tempted or wanting to backslide, PRAY! BINDING THE DEVILS PLANS FOR YOUR FAILURE Sometimes it feels like we are battling the devil daily. Often, it feels like right after we have had a positive response or sign or a peace filled day we are attacked viciously and so quickly it can literally make us feel like we’re starting back at the beginning, the attacks can steal our hope from us in the blink of an eye and that is what they are designed to do. When you lose hope you separate yourself from God because you have been deceived into thinking that He is doing little or nothing on your behalf. Let me repeat that you have been deceived. The word deceived means to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid. The feelings of hopelessness you are feeling are a lie! Now that you dwell in the secret place of the Most High you live in the shadow of the Almighty God. (Psalms 91:1) Most High in this scripture describes His protection as greater than any threat we face. Almighty represents His power to confront and destroy the enemy. Psalms 91:3 tells us that “Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence”.

Believers are inviting the devil into their lives, all the problems of the unbelieving world: broken homes, anxiety, and alienated affection. They are giving the devil entry into their lives. Now that we recognize the door we left open for him in the past we can begin to shut it in his face when he tries to step inside our lives and that of our loved ones. There are a few reasons to bind the devil, we must bind him in order to be released from a particular bondage like drugs alcohol or another addiction; to be restored to our rightful position in Christ, and then to restrict Satan and his work in our lives. We can learn more about binding the devil in the book of John 14:12: "He who believes in Me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go to the Father." We each have within us a Power sufficient to conquer Satan. 1 John 4:4 tells us ". . . greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." Through your belief in God and the Holy Spirit who has taken up residency in your heart you can overcome the evil that is in the world, including sin, temptation, sorrow, persecution trials and yes…even heartbreak. So what weapons do we use to bind the devil? First, the book of Mathew tells us that whatsoever we bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatsoever we loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. We bind the evil and loose evils captives. (Mathew 16:19) There are three, they are the name of Jesus, The blood of Jesus and the Word of God. The name of Jesus: The Bible tells us over and over again to pray in Jesus' name. John 16:23 clearly says, ". . . if you ask the Father for anything, He will give it to you in My name."All through the New Testament, the apostles go about healing and doing the works of the Lord in Jesus' name. In Acts 3:6, Peter declared, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene , walk!". The name of Jesus is a symbol of authority, the authority to use His name was given to us by Jesus himself through the Holy Spirit who lives within us. As Jesus ascended into Heaven He left us His “helper” who is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit inspires and empowers us to ask for the same things Jesus would ask for if He were on earth with you, in other words…”Lord, I am asking you for this (request) because if Jesus were standing here next to me in the flesh, it would be a request He would make for me knowing You would agree”. When we ask

God to bind the devil and stop him from pushing us, we KNOW Jesus would ask the same, He would not only ask, but by the power given Him by God in Heaven, He would command the devil to flee. He gave you the authority to do the same, in His name. The Blood of Jesus: The second thing we must have in order to bind Satan is the protection of the blood of Jesus Christ. We do not come boldly into conflict with Satan without the protection of the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Throughout Scripture, from the Old Testament Passover examples of the protection of blood against the power of death, to the New Testament crucifixion at Calvary, the shed blood is the symbol of protection and of our redemption. We are covered by the blood of Christ's sacrifice which paid the price of sin and eternally broke the power of Satan. The Word of God: Once again the Holy Bible or Word of God plays a major part in our walk. The Word of God is the absolute foundation of all that we have been learning. Through the Word of God we are able to see the problems that confront us in their real terms. The devil will always try to distract us from the real problem, or worse, the solution and the answer. He makes us think that we see things clearly by spiritually blinding us with doubt, confusion, etc. We only see a lack of solution or end in a worldly sense and not through our new found spiritual eyes and our faith. Without faith there can be no miracle. We all have the supernatural power to bind the devil through our belief in Jesus and the Word of God. You simply need to start exercising that authority that was given to you. DOES GOD WEAR A WATCH? I have often said that if I could buy God anything it would be a Timex. Ok, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d buy Him a Rolex because He deserves only the best. One of the most powerful weapons the devil uses against us is time. We know that Gods time is not our time and one of the things we have to understand while we are traveling is that there is a reason for the wait. For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven (Ecclesiastes 3: 1) . God has an eternal plan that includes the purpose and activities of your life. It is on this journey that you are learning to surrender yourself to Him and in doing so, you

are allowing the Holy Spirit to accomplish God’s plan for your life. The ability to enjoy life and live it properly are gifts from God that come only once you have established a sincere and right relationship with Him. It is when we sincerely submit ourselves to Him that he gives us joy in everything we do (Ecclesiastes 3: 13). Although our hearts long for a swift resolution and an end to the pain, it may not be in our best interest to always receive an instant answer. It is during the wait that we are reborn and made new. The devil will deceive you into believing that the length of time it is taking to get your answer is God saying “no”. Now that you understand that isn’t the case, you will save yourself the time of discovering that a “wait” is actually a blessing. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. - Hebrews 10:36 LORD GIVE ME PATIENCE AND I NEED IT RIGHT NOW! The one thing that you will learn about God is that He is patient with us. He is longsuffering and waits sometimes years for us to come around and look up to Him. In order to receive the perfect answer to your most heartfelt prayer it is sometimes necessary to wait. Some answers need a little marinating in order for them to be perfect. God never gives you less than perfect when you ask Him into the situation. The Lord will still be waiting for you even if you happen to backslide, He is patient. He’ll wait as long as necessary for you because He loves you and He knows that eventually, you’re going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired and simply complete the journey. Many people give up their journey for lack of patience. There is a gift in the waiting. Waiting builds endurance. Tribulation can and will build patience (Romans 5:3) and to be frank, you never know if the miracle is just around the corner. If you give up, you’ll never know. Having patience is the ability to bare trials calmly and without complaint. It is enduring the times when things look as if they are standing still and no answer is in sight with a hefty amount of faith and trust that God is working behind the scenes the entire time. Someone once told me that I should be careful what I ask for because I just might get it, patience is one of those lessons that take well… a lot of patience.

Waiting on God patiently means that you are becoming an over comer. You are able to learn as you wait when you have patience instead of spending all of your time drowning in despair. Since time can work both to our advantage and against us during this journey, the exercises that follow will be helpful in developing your patience to endure. EXERCISE This is the granddaddy of all of the exercises you will have in this course. By remembering what you have learned in this chapter every hour of every day for the next several weeks (or however long you need to) you are going to rapidly overcome the largest stumbling block most people encounter when praying for a miracle of true or restored love. By being able to withstand the attacks that set you back and by being able to overcome them quickly you are going to be able to move forward at record speed. This is the turning point in the course and from here on it is all down hill. Now that you know what the problems is you can effectively deal with it. We are going to start by writing down the most common weapons the devil is using against you right now and in what forms he is using them or in other words, how he is using them. It is highly recommended that you schedule one of your coaching sessions during this part of the course as well as attend the group support meetings online. Next to each item below, write what it is you feel. For example: Next to doubt, list the doubts you have. Next to fear, list what it is you are afraid of happening or not happening. Right now the things I fear the most are:

I totally despise______________________(list name(s) because of their part in this situation or for their lack of help, etc.

I feel very confused about:

The things I feel the most doubt about are:

I feel jealousy or envy against _________________________ (name(s)

The things I feel guilty about or feel responsible for are:

When I get angry at God for not answering fast enough it makes me want to:

Answer these questions Yes or No. Are you feeling helpless and/or hopeless?

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Are you feeling useless or inadequate?

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Are you feeling Self hatred, constant questioning of thoughts and actions, an overwhelming need for reassurance?

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Are you feeling vulnerable or over sensitive?

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Do you feel guilty?

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Are you experiencing a loss of energy?

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Do you have a desire to sleep all the time or are you having difficulty sleeping?

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Have you done anything to harm yourself?

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Have you gained or lost an excessive amount of weight in a short time?

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Are you feeling agitated or restless?

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Are you having a difficult time concentrating or remembering things or feel like you are always in a dream like state?

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Do you feel physical aches and pains?

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If you have answered yes to 8 or more of the above questions, and have felt the symptoms for two or more weeks you may be depressed and should contact your physician or search online under â&#x20AC;&#x153;Help for Depressionâ&#x20AC;?. It is important for you to seek help when going through depression. Although prayer is a wonderful way to stay spiritually healthy it is important to see a medical doctor if you think you are suffering from depression.

A depression can cause us to feel separated from God and full of despair. When these feelings wash over you and you feel yourself slipping into the abyss immediately remind yourself that you are under attack. Remember that the devil wants you to give up the fight. As you are reminding yourself, prepare yourself for battle by literally envisioning yourself holding up the shield of faith. If you are unable to pray aloud, start talking to God in your head and ask Him to give you the strength to endure the attack all the while command the attack to stop. Start praising God for being with you through this time in your life, praise Him for all of the good things He is doing for you. Remember, praise chases the devil away from your heart. The devil will attack at every opportunity he can. Be on guard and recognize the attacks for what they are. A good way to think about what is happening is if God were saying “no” to your petition, why would the devil be trying so hard to make you give up? It would be a waste of his efforts to work on an area that God was already denying. When the attack starts, remind yourself that IF God were saying no, you wouldn’t be moved to keep standing for that desire in your heart. When God says “no” he moves you forward gently and on to something ten times better and when you do move on, it doesn’t hurt to let go of what it was you thought you wanted. So unless the desire in your heart vanishes, use the fact that God is keeping it strong in your heart for a reason. Remember, praise chases the devil away. Start forcing yourself to remember that doubt does NOT come from above. Every time you feel an attack coming on, tell the devil to talk to the hand, make this part of your journey a challenge. Don’t crawl through these fires…learn to dance through them. Failure to forgive is another weapon used against us. If there is another person involved in your situation, you will find it is very easy to hate and resent the other person for their role in your pain. The devil thrives on this, it is his breeding ground. Learning to forgive is one of the hardest things to do at this stage but there is help, you simply have to look up and ask for it. Take the time to express your feelings about forgiveness and the reasons for it in your journal. By laying the things that are hurting you out in the open you can share these negative feelings with God, he’ll help you over come them when you have a sincere desire to. Forgiveness is a necessary ingredient for a miracle. ** Bring your list to the next group meeting and let others help you. The single most destructive force used against us is impatience. The devil uses time against us and now you have to learn how NOT to allow it to stop you or set you back. The patience issue is the one you will need the most help with. In the beginning you will pray and expect an instant answer. When you don’t get it you’ll feel let down, angry with God, and doubtful. All tools of the devil.

Instead of focusing on the problem or putting the problem front and center, which is easy to do when the answer doesn’t seem to be dropping out of the sky, make the situation God centered. It is now necessary for you to understand one of the greatest promises of all time. Right now it is impossible for YOU alone to fix this situation BUT nothing is impossible for God… NOTHING! (Mathew 23-26). You should start to realize that this situation is NOT bigger than God. Faith booster here. There are many reasons why God may be making you wait. Instead of focusing on the wait try to imagine why the wait is necessary. Could it be the separation will cause BOTH of you to change? God has a purpose for everything, there is a purpose for this situation too. Do not try to dictate God’s schedule to Him, He knows what is best for you and the other party involved. If God said to you that He would make your relationship with the person you lost better than ever, that He would make that person perfect for you and you perfect for them. If He promised He would repair the relationship so that you never felt this horrible pain again but needed to send you or your loved one away to school for a time in order to accomplish that, would you argue with Him? You have to apply the “trust” lesson to this part and believe that this is separation is for a good reason. By being patient and trusting while you wait on His perfect answer you are guaranteeing a perfect answer. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. - Hebrews 10:36 The lessons in this chapter are never ending. You will carry God’s amour with you for the rest of your days and apply it in all sorts of situations, not just this one. Prayers for a new job, finances, family and friends will all require the principles found in this lesson. They all require the ability to be patient.

What the Bible says about patience Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride. (Eccl 7:8) Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin? (Rom 2:4)

We have proved ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, our sincere love, and the power of the Holy Spirit. (2 Cor 6:6) Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. (Eph 4:2) We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy (Col 1:11) Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Col 3:12) But that is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. (1 Tim 1:16) Preach the word of God. Be persistent, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. (2 Tim 4:2) Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God's promises because of their faith and patience. (Heb 6:12) Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing right and are patient beneath the blows, God is pleased with you. (1 Pet 2:20)

The interactive portion of the course (online fellowship) is crucial at this stage. Use the spot below to record the date and times of group meetings and what it is you have learned from them. Be sure to mark down questions you have for future meetings.

Date of meeting:

Time:

Comments & Questions:_________________________________________

Date of meeting:

Time:

Comments & Questions:_________________________________________

Date of meeting:

Time:

Comments & Questions:_________________________________________

STEP THREE – SPRING CLEANING YOUR SOUL You are almost half way through the journey! Instead of looking at your situation like the glass is half empty you can look at it like it is half full. You have done what it takes to stabilize yourself and have begun to build a foundation on the most stable of all ground. Spiritual real estate is the absolute best investment your heart can make in this crazy thing we call life. It is the most solid ground to build anything in your life upon not just love but everything. As times goes on you will learn that your spiritual well-being is more important and more valuable than anything. A healthy spirit means a healthy relationship with the owner of your soul. A solid relationship with Our Creator guarantees us so many blessings in every part of our lives. It not only enhances the love we feel for Him but for our partner and our family and friends. A healthy spirit makes us shine from within and changes our lives for the better. It changes for the better in all areas and as it changes in one area it overflows into the other and before we know it our faith is getting us through every single step of life from career and finances to love and family. One of the things you may be experiencing at this point in your journey is a clash of emotions or feelings. On one hand you are allowing the Holy Spirit to fill your heart with joy, peace, love, forgiveness, hope and other divine gifts from above and on the other hand, the old you is struggling to come through. You may still wrestle with arrogance, pride, anger, guilt, the inability to forgive, doubt, and other clutter. The old and the new can not exist within the same heart in harmony. They are a contradiction to each other. You can not say in one breath, “I Believe” and in the next moment doubt. Faith and doubt are like oil and water. They will keep you on a roller coaster ride of emotions that will cripple you at times. EMOTIONAL ROLLAR COASTER – ALL ABOARD! Have you been on that emotional roller coaster ride? Are you on it now? Did you wake up yesterday with a heart bursting with joy only to fall out of bed this morning and feel your heart hit the ground? I have good news, it’s normal to go through this stage and this is proof that the steps you’re taking are in the right direction. This portion of heartbreak or grief is like riding on stormy seas. As you look out over the

ocean you can not see the horizon or the solid land that waits for you because you are literally looking at each wave that hits you. You stare up the face of the wave seeing only the enormity of that particular wave (problem or situation), before you make it down the backside of the wave you are so worried about the next wave, what it will bring and how you’ll survive it that you fail to look up over the waves and see that you are only a short distance away from shore. It’s sink or swim time. If you sink, you’ll never know anything of the paradise that awaits you but if you keep swimming, keep treading those waters and stop looking at the waves but look OVER them, you will find peace and hope. You’ll have a goal to reach for. In order to get through those high seas you have to unload all of the junk that keeps pulling you under. You have to spring clean your soul and get rid of the old thoughts, fears, actions, etc. You have to clean all of that garbage out so you can fill it with all of the new equipment you are picking up on this journey. When you compare the old things that occupied this closet in your soul to the new things that are taking over you can understand the weight associated with them. For instance: Before you started this journey, you were full of sorrow and grief and despair (to name a few), these things literally make you feel heavy. Heavy in the heart and like there is a great burden on your shoulders. You can and may have gotten on your knees, crushed under the weight of grief you have been lugging around with you and felt the exhaustion that carrying these things causes. How many days have you spent in bed crying and grieving because your heart was just too HEAVY to get up and go on? Now that you are traveling down this new blessed path you will find at times that just knowing that God is involved, makes your heart feel light, you are not crushed with grief because you now have hope, your sorrow is replaced with faith that there is a divine supernatural power at work in your situation. He has taken the weight of the burden off of your shoulders and when you let Him, He carries that burden and disposes it for you.

UNLOADING THE OLD BAGGAGE – CLEAN OUT YOUR SPIRITUAL CLOSET! It is impossible to enter into a new relationship, whether it is with the one who broke your heart or with someone new, loaded down with your old baggage and/or issues that may have been part of the dissolution of your union. For those of you who are traveling this path for the first time, it may be a difficult thing to face some of the demons from your past but realize that these things are what have shaped your personality, directed your actions, and determined your reactions to every situation you have dealt with up until now. Some of the issues that you may be addressing could include a form of abuse, be it sexual, physical, emotional or verbal. Substance abuse is a MAJOR road block. Pessimism and negativity will only allow you to see the bad “what if’’s” and possible negative outcome instead of allowing your faith to see the miracle. If abuse in any form is an issue that is weighing you down, seek help for it. A professional counselor will help you wade through those issues and will help you achieve good solid mental health, that combines with your faith will bring you closer to the miracle. Some people will use the “I’m only being realistic” line. You know what? Moses wasn’t being realistic when he spent 40 years in the desert with millions of Hebrews who needed to be fed, bathed, and needed water to survive. He stepped out in faith and believed in the impossible and HE was facing a wilderness…LITERALLY! I won’t even mention the parting of the Red Sea and what he must have been thinking then. The Book of Exodus in the Holy Bible will explain the details of Moses’ life. To use Moses as a good example, he began his journey living with the enemy, he believed they were his family and if there was ever a man that doubted, it was Moses. He told God he couldn’t talk to Pharaoh because he didn’t know what to say and he had even grown up in the same palace and believed that Pharaoh was his blood relative for many years. Talk about an unrealistic situation. The end result was divine. Through faith and belief in God, Moses did the impossible and freed God’s chosen people. Not just a couple hundred but millions. There is no realistic when it comes to the boundaries of faith and belief in God. With man it is impossible but with

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God, all things are possible so throw the pessimism out the window and with it toss out the negativity. (Mark 10:27) I once had someone say to me “If I lost my arm in an accident and prayed for God to give me a new arm I KNOW He wouldn’t make a new arm grow back”. Well, he might not grow a new arm but he inspired us humans to invent the prosthetic arm!! God has a solution for everything you are dealing with, He has a remedy for every past hurt you have felt and He has a place for all of that heavy baggage you are carrying around with you that keeps weighing you down and most likely affects your relationships. UNLOADING PRIDE & REPLACING IT WITH HUMILITY One of the most destructive things we carry with us is pride. Pride is self-esteem that exceeds reasonable limits. It is the belief that you are better than or better off than some or most people you come into contact with. Pride can make us act showy or even conceited. Pride deceives us into thinking that certain acts or beliefs are beneath us. Notice the word “deceive”. Pride is thinking it is unworthy of someone like yourself to apologize or to perform a certain duty or even to admit when you are wrong. Pride prevents us from admission of wrong doing in most forms. Pride is flat out ugly no matter how beautiful the person that misuses it is. Now, to be proud of ones accomplishments or that of your children, or to be proud to be taking this journey because you know your actions are a reflection of your beliefs, is a good form of pride. But pride that prevents you from humility, which is a good piece of baggage, is destructive. Humility is the quality or state of being humble. It is reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. Submission to God and His will and right now, His teachings are vital for your success. Speaking of humility, it is that one item that really affects numerous parts of our walk. It takes time to become humble and there are some people that make the humbling process difficult but once humility is part of your makeup, the other things are easier to learn. For some, the humbling process brings us to our knees, hard.

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Cleaning out your spiritual closet makes way for the storage of new items. You have allowed the seeds of faith to be planted in your hearts and now you have to make room for them to grow, you must nurture and protect them and if you allow them the same space you allow the things of old, they are sure to be pushed out. It is much easier for you to doubt or be pessimistic. You are leaning on habits that have been with you for years. It takes effort and determination to rid your closet of the things that kept you from moving into a new life before but now that you have reached your brick wall you have incentive. LEARNING TO FORGIVE – A KEY INGREDIENT FOR A MIRACLE The next major space taker is the inability to forgive. The Bible tells us that when we pray we should ask God to forgive us for our sins AS WE forgive those who have sinned against us. Forgiveness is a key element in your miracle. Not forgiving allows hate, anger, jealousy and other tools of the enemy to continuously reside in your squeaky clean spiritual closet. Forgiving someone who has done wrong to you is a very hard thing to do when you attempt it on your own. In some cases, it can’t be done alone, you need God’s help to forgive. Bitterness is the driving force behind inability to forgive. Jesus said, “…if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Heavenly Father will not forgive you.” (Mathew 6:14-15). Jesus emphasizes that you must be ready and willing to forgive the offenses of others. If you fail to forgive a repenting offender, God will not forgive you and your prayers will go unanswered. When you know you incapable of forgiving someone, ask God for help. It doesn’t matter how right you are and how wrong they are, one of you has to be the one to forgive. The first one that humbles himself and actually sincerely does it, is the winner. It takes humility to be able to lay the old garbage and resentment down and say “I’m sorry” OR in the cases where it isn’t possible to apologize, feel a sincere humility and conviction in your heart, truly feel…well, sorry that the conflict exists. Later on in the course you will learn about faith and works and how they need to be united in order to produce a miracle but we are going to get a little bit ahead of ourselves here and I am going to mention a little concept called “Making the World a Better Place”. There is no one person who can change everyone in the world, but each one of us can do our part to change a portion of it. No matter how

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overwhelming it seems, every little bit counts and it helps. When you forgive say a prayer and ask God what YOU can do to let the person you were against know that you have forgiven. Even if it means writing your husbands mistress an e-mail telling her that she is forgiven in your heart for her part of the problem. Now don’t start cursing me, I know this is unthinkable right now, but as you draw closer to God and become more humble, you will slowly start t understand what forgiveness really is and when you are totally ready to do so, there will be an urge on your heart and a joy within that makes you WANT to let that person or people know that YOU have changed and that THEY are forgiven in your eyes. The end result here is a REFLECTION of your progress. Now that you have learned to forgive you have to forget. Just as God wipes the slate clean with each of you when asked to forgive, you have to learn to do the same thing. There is nothing productive or positive in hanging onto memories that are filled with bitterness, resentment, hate, hurt, and all the other negative non-Godly things that make up the reason WHY you were brought to a point of forgiveness in the first place. Prayer is essential in learning to forget and please, do not use the “I can forgive, but I’ll never forget” excuse. Praying to God and asking for Him to help you forget all of the bad things that caused you to hate the person you are trying to forgive is a guaranteed answer. He wills you to love one another. It is his desire that you be able to do that with an open and sincere heart. If you can’t do it alone, and chances are it will be tough, then lift your heart up and ask Him to help you. As with anything that is worth it, it takes a little time but you can do it and once you do, you will feel that much lighter. Being a proud Christian doesn’t mean that you are above those that aren’t Christian or above those that aren’t practicing their Christianity, it means you are humble enough to admit to yourself, to others and to God that you are in serious need of help and life change. To be proud of your accomplishments is OK and knowing The Lord is proud of them is divine inspiration to keep moving forward. You’ll know He is proud of you by the joy you feel in your heart each time you accomplish another step of the journey and by your desire to share these incredible changes with everyone you come in contact with.

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The lessons you have learned in this chapter have to be studied and applied every day until they become a way of life. Being alert to the fact that it is easy for us to try storing that old baggage in our spiritual closet is important. When you start feeling those old feelings of resentment, anger, guilt, etc. Get your spiritual broom out and sweep them away. JUDGE NOT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO BE JUDGED To judge is to criticize. Unless you are free of any and all things that would cause you to be criticized by another person, hold your tongue and keep your opinion to yourself. This is pride at its worst. We are so quick to criticize others while ignoring our own faults. Before you can judge another Christian in their walk or their ways you must first submit yourself to His righteous standard. To place condemnation on another person without sincerely desiring to see them return or turn to Gods ways is unjust. How would you feel if people were looking at you saying you were not fit to receive His blessing of a miracle because of the mistakes you made in your past? It would probably make you feel awful. There will come a point in your walk where you will reach a level of maturity and will be able to discern the character of individuals you choose to associate yourself with and even then, your growth will teach you how to plant your seeds without denying your commitment to God or backsliding into old sinful habits. It is so easy to criticize others while ignoring our own faults. This is one of the heaviest pieces of old baggage we need to unload. It is through your walk that you may be able to influence others to reach for the same wonderful gift but by being critical or conceited you will only reflect a spirit of hypocrisy that is responsible for scaring so many would be believers away. The remainder of the course is highly interactive and it is important for you to participate in the activities offered in order to understand, deal with and overcome the issues and obstacles when spring cleaning your soul. Group and individual support are essential for your success, prayer and meditation is also mandatory. It is what you THINK you already know that is going to keep you from learning so keep your heart and mind open but be on the look out for the enemy because as you

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progress he will try harder to stop you. If need be, go back over past chapters and read them again or attend the online Webinars about these topics as often as you need too. EXERCISE Check the HBU seminar schedule and confirm dates and times of webinars and or group support meeting you need to attend for this portion of the course.

Date of meetings:

Time:

Comments & Questions:_________________________________________

What items do you need to remove from your spiritual closet today? List the things that seem to accompany you most of the time like anger, guilt, etc. ___________________________

_______________________________

___________________________

_______________________________

___________________________

_______________________________

___________________________

_______________________________

Remembering the past memories Very often our memories can trigger the feelings we have listed above. When we remember the good things it will often be followed up with a bad memory which sends us nose diving into despair and hopelessness. Our memory will not let us forget that we are alone or without the person we love.

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Put all of your good memories on one sheet of paper (use more than one if need be) and on another sheet of paper list the bad memories, not just the memories that surround the breakup but things that happened from the very start. On the bad memory sheet go through each memory and analyze it for your part. What did YOU do to make the memory negative? Did you pick a fight over something dumb which spiraled out of control and caused him/her to stay out all night? Were you feeling insecure and said something to chase him/her off or scare them? The purpose of this exercise is to analyze your actions, show you how the baggage you have been carrying with you has effected your relationship such as doubt about his/her love, insecurity which snowballs into jealousy (often times totally unfounded), guilt for your actions or lack of actions in a situation, doubt, lack of trust, etc. Your actions or reaction to certain situations plays a very big part in why things got to the point they are at. What heavy baggage have you carried all your life that has weighed you down and caused destruction in your life and/or relationship? Be as blunt as possible with yourself. At the same time on a separate sheet of paper, list the attributes of your partner that caused a problem or caused you to feel the way you did or brought out the worst in your behavior. This particular step may need to be done several times because you may feel that listing negatives about him/her are disloyal. Blunt honesty is required here in order to proceed. How can you pray for your better half to be worthy of the new you if you don’t recognize and address the problems from both perspectives? Don’t worry, no one will see what you write except for God unless you wish to bring the issues out in the open at your support group. Make the sheet with the list about you readily available. Meditate on what and how each thing comes into play in your life. Starting today…pick one item that you are going to address and change and spend three days making an effort to recognize the issue, pray for help overcoming it and literally changing it. This means catching yourself in the act and turning things around. For instance, you doubt he/she is coming back even though you are praying and at times feel great peace and joy knowing God is in the mix. One day you feel OK the next you don’t, on the day you don’t, start reprogramming your thinking by forcing yourself to remember the promises from past chapters. Force yourself to focus ONLY on the positives no matter how hard it is. When a negative slips through remind yourself that doubt and

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negativity DOES NOT come from God. Pray silently if need be that He will fill you with His peace, wait patiently for the peace to come while you keep telling yourself that God is guiding you on this journey and He would never let you hope for the impossible. Apply the good baggage to the bad baggage, use it to smother the old feelings, thoughts and memories that held you down before. Close yourself and imagine yourself unloading those heavy things from your back, be still and meditate on these things until you feel peace then get out your God Book or journal and write what you are thinking in a letter to God. If you need help, ask Him in the letter to help you, if the memories of your lost love are consuming you, ask God to help you get past them and be close to Him while you wait. Daily Practice: Being humble is going to be a permanent way of life from here on out. There are a few examples or tips to get started. 1. Your driving down the street when an older lady just cuts right in front of you. Normally, a string of insults and curse words and some rude advice on getting driving lessons would come flowing out of your mouth. After all, old people shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be driving anyway right? Wrong. With humility you would bite your tongue and realize that MAYBE, just maybe that little old woman just learned that her husband is dying of cancer, that maybe she just lost her husband, or maybe she herself was given fatal news which has her mind preoccupied on things other than driving. How would you feel if you hit her and she got out of her car and apologized informed you of one of those things? If your human, you would feel pretty awful. 2. Think your better than that cashier in the grocery store? Think again. He or she may not be the most pleasant person in the world due to the fact that they may be working long hours for little pay to support an education or more importantly, a family. A kind word, a smile or a compliment to their manager may be what it takes to inspire that person or make their day better. You social status, career or material

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wealth do NOT make you better than others. Find a way to utilize your new spiritual possessions. The more you use them, the larger they become. The changes in you will be evident before long. There will be no room for the old things as you discover the joy you feel by utilizing the new tools you have been blessed with. Learning to forgive The next part of this exercise involves forgiving. The first thing you are going to do is write down the name of the person you have the least forgiving feelings for next to that you will write what things you are unable to forgive. In most cases, the first person we list is the one we lost or the other woman or man in cases of cheating or infidelity. Forgiveness is a tough hurdle but practice makes perfect. First you have to identify the things that are causing you to with hold your forgiveness. Once you have listed those things, write that person a letter but do not send it. Write exactly what is on your heart, why you are angry with them and what you wish they would do to change the situation. Save the letter in your God book. Each day that goes by, write the names of those who may have upset you and what it is about the situation that you need to forgive. Start talking yourself into forgiving. Pray for assistance in forgiving them and others, pray that those YOU may have upset will forgive you. In the beginning your steps have to be monitored carefully. You never know when you mood, actions or beliefs are going to affect the way someone else is feeling. To have people know that you are turning to God during this walk is a wonderful thing, but to reflect a spirit of hypocrisy is a sin and defeats your purpose. You may never know how your actions or words turned another person towards God…or worse, against Him. When you leave the house each morning, leave all the old negative baggage behind. Start your day, no matter how tough it is with the new spiritual equipment you have. Reflecting a forgiving spirit towards others is one of the first things people will pick up on.

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Another very important issue that you will need to address in this portion of your exercise is the company you keep. Nothing in this world influences us more than those around us. If you are surrounding yourself with negative people, expect to be negative. If you attempts to bring a positive spirit into the group fail, slowly separate yourself until you are mature enough (spiritually) to deal with the negativity of others without allowing it to bring you down also. Right now the health and condition of YOUR soul is PRIORITY! Study the following scriptures to learn more about forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins…" Matthew 6:15 - "…if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses". Mark 11:25 "…forgive if you have ought against any…" Luke 6:37 - "...Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 27-28 - "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you." For Judgment and criticism read: Mathew 7:1 - 6 **You are strongly encouraged to attend all of the interactive options on the HBU web site to help you through this portion of the course. The new friends you are making in the virtual classrooms are vital for your success and you to theirs. The good news is you are coming along just fine and although you may have moments of doubt, those moments are becoming further apart and easier to deal with! Let’s move on to the next and one of the best steps… POINTER – Do not hesitate to share your hateful feelings against others during support meetings. This is the best place for you to receive guidance on how to overcome those feelings and forgive.

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STEP FOUR – HOW TO GET ANSWERS TO YOUR PRAYERS This is the chapter you have been waiting for. It is in this section that you will learn about the second most important thing needed for prayer, that is righteousness. You have come a long way in your walk and have learned that without faith there can be no miracles; you have learned that the Bible is your most important tool and a constant source of nourishment, you have also learned about the enemy (the devil) and the things he will use to make you quit, more importantly, you have learned what it takes to fight him and defeat him. Additionally, you have learned that there are some things you need to get rid of in order to move forward and some things you need to keep with you in order to grow and mature spiritually. You’re probably trying daily to forgive someone who has wronged you and are making a conscious effort to not criticize or be judgmental. In some cases, you may be trying to make changes in your life that make you forgivable. You have come so very far and as you repeatedly apply everything you are learning in the course and through the interactive portions of the course you can stop for a second and pat yourself on the back. God is beaming up in Heaven knowing that even though it has been rough, especially the first two steps, you are determined to follow through. That is endurance and with endurance you are learning patience. Everything is falling into place for you and although you may have some bad days, you may be noticing that they are further apart and when you do have them you are now able to deal with them with all of the wonderful gifts and instructions God has given in His word. Now there may be some times when you feel like the bottom has fallen out on you. This is normal and it happens to every single one of us traveling on this journey. As you mature spiritually and become wise to the tricks of the enemy, he will attack you on a different level and almost always go for your most vulnerable spots. His efforts to convince you that you are headed down the wrong path and God is taking way longer than He should to be answering this prayer because it isn’t meant to be are still lies. He’ll just use different angles to attack and try to convince you. Be on guard and go back to the appropriate chapter to re-study or attend support group meetings to overcome these feelings and doubts.

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There are still a few hurdles left to jump in order to receive the ultimate blessing. The good news is that once you have overcome these next hurdles, you not only receive blessings in your love life but in all areas of your life. One of the key elements to answered prayer is living righteously. To live a righteous life is to live free from sin and in a moral way. Now, we know now that we are ALL sinners and that it is our human nature to sin, we will never be sin free but we have the sacrifice of God’s only begotten Son who has set us free from those sins. This doesn’t mean we can go about sinning and God will forgive us every time. Forgiveness, as we know comes from a sincere repentance of what we have done and a sincere need for God to pardon us, it is usually accompanied by a conviction on our heart or knowing that what we have done is not righteous. THE BASIC RULES OF RIGHTEOUSNESS Being righteous is a lot easier said than done especially in today’s society when life revolves around so many worldly, self serving ways. It is so easy to fall in step behind everyone else and assume that because everyone else is doing something it must be alright. Divorce is at an all time high because society says it’s OK to end a marriage for any reason. So many people have gone so far away from God that the sacred bond of marriage is not a priority. There are a whole bunch of other issues I can mention here but because of the political issues that surround them, I won’t. The bottom line is, God did NOT intend for the world to be the way it is. Full of sin, lust, greed, etc. Sounds kind of old-fashioned and even a little bit fanatical doesn’t it? In reality, it isn’t. God promised that the”effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16). Being righteous in today’s society is almost impossible. I didn’t say it WAS impossible, I said ALMOST impossible. Many Christians believe that if they just follow the surface rules all will be well and they will be OK with our Father in Heaven. Now how unfair is that? “God, we want the miracle of a lifetime from you and we’ll be righteous so long as we don’t look foolish amongst others or so long as it doesn’t hinder our lifestyle too much”, with friends like that, God doesn’t need enemies. Get rid of that attitude because it isn’t righteous.

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As you now know, there are some rules we have to follow on this journey in order to receive the promises. The rules are pretty simple and most are found in the Book of Exodus 20:1-17 under TEN COMMANDMENTS: Let’s take a look, shall we? Rule Number One: Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Everyone is looking everywhere but where they should for the answers these days. New Age, horoscopes, psychics, in online chat rooms…everywhere but up. In order to receive the promises you can’t worship halfheartedly or alongside. God wants you to love and worship and believe in HIM and ONLY Him. Rule Number Two: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in Heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. In other words, loose the statutes and shrines to things other than God. Worshipping Shaneyney the underbrush goddess of love is NOT following the rules. This doesn’t just include statutes or other brazen images, it includes people and things. When you love someone or something like money, sex, alcohol or drugs more than God That is the same as worshipping other idols. God wants to be first and foremost in your life and as you get to know Him better you will find that your love for him is unlike the love you have for anyone else and just like when you were in high school with your best friends, you can’t make a move without consulting Him. HE becomes front and center. MANY MANY of us women worship our men first and foremost and even before God. Up until now the me/womenn in our lives came first and our happiness depended on them. Not any more. Rule Number Three: Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain. How many times during the course of a conversation have you said something like “Oh my God will you look at that!?” or “Jesus Christ the baby spilled milk all over!”. This is using God’s name in vain. It is done so often and with such disregard that we don’t even realize that we do it. We are ALL offenders even me. I would think that God hears us every time we call His name, whether it be for something legitimate like a prayer or just in vain, I have always believed that the reason my prayers took so long to be answered was because 90% of the time I called out to Him it was in

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vain. Why should He rush to answer when it is probably just another false alarm? Now, I don’t know if this is the way God really thinks, but it helped me to put this rule into perspective and it helps me to not use His name in vain as much. Rule Number Four: Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. In Hebrew Sabbath means to rest. God has made us a promise of rest but it is up to us to claim it. The Sabbath is not a certain day of the week because Jesus Christ has become our Sabbath. We can have the true Sabbath that God promised us everyday if we like. God tells us there are certain things we must do before we can enter His rest. We can find those things in the following places in the Holy Bible: Hebrews 4:1-13 - Mark 2:27-28 - Matthew 11:28-30 - Colossians 2:8-17 It is necessary to set aside one day for church and fellowship with other believers. Fellowshipping with other people who believe the same things you do and follow the same guidelines is necessary for steady spiritual growth. It is also a good time for you to be around other people and socialize and share your thoughts and ideas. Rule Number Five: Honor thy father and thy mother This is pretty self explanatory. However, if you don’t have a close relationship with your folks, now might be a good time to practice that forgiveness lesson we learned a while back. If you have the type of parents that drive you totally insane and are basically the reason why you moves to the other side of the country, take a moment to find the good things about them, remembering that it is they who brought you into this world and took the time to raise, love and nurture you. If you did not have a loving relationship with at least one of your parents, now is a good time to start. If abuse of some form was an issue, talk to a professional about laying those things to rest. Even if you parents aren’t receptive to your efforts the point is you are sincerely trying. You’d be surprised what a little kindness, a touch of forgiveness and a lot of prayer can accomplish. This is a rule that God repeats in at least two other places in the Bible. See Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:20-21

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Rule Number Six: Though shall not kill Um…this is a no brainer. If thou kills thou is going to prison and will not have to worry about heartbreak. No matter how mad they make you…try and curb your temper. Nuff said about this rule. Rule Number Seven: Thou shalt not commit adultery There is much controversy about this particular rule, especially amongst men who use the “My marriage was over any way so I slept with the other woman”. When you are married, you are only to have sexual relations with your spouse. In Matthew 5:27-30 Jesus Christ said that if we look upon a married women to the point of lusting after her, we have already committed adultery with her in our heart. (Same applies for you single gals lusting after married men) For the ones that are not married and think it's ok to have relations with any one and every one you want, think again. Paul speaking about the unmarried in I Corinthians 7:8-9 said if we can not control ourselves, it is better to get married than to burn. Not to mention the pain and heartbreak it causes the other person. I know this is a sore spot with some of you and we’ll address the single man/woman married partner issues a little later. Rule Number Eight: Thou shalt not steal Another easy one and it goes for husbands stealing their friend’s wives and wives stealing their friend’s husbands. Taking something that is NOT yours is stealing. Over payment of change, a few extra apples, etc. Stealing is stealing and God sees even the tiniest of infractions. So the next time you plan to steal some of those cherries or grapes from the produce section…remember, God is watching. Rule Number Nine: Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor. In layman’s terms, don’t gossip or make up rumors about other people, especially people you call friends. Everyone of us has a desire to sit and gossip with our friends. Office water coolers are primo spots for this but it’s wrong. How would you like it or how do you feel when others gossip or start rumors about you?

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Rule Number Ten: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, … nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s. This means don’t lust after or envy what your neighbor has. Appreciate what you have been blessed with. There are a few others that Jesus gave us and they are to Love God with all of your heart, mind, and soul. – Simply stated, let God be the one who holds your heart, controls your mind, don’t let anyone on earth own your soul the way He does. He will never hurt you and will always fill your life with wonderful blessings and rewards when you honor this command. When people fail you, God will still be there for you. And lastly, love your neighbor as yourself. The best way to understand this is to simply treat the people you come into contact with each and every day the way you want to be treated. You never know when a smile and kind words will change the course of someone’s day the way some kind stranger may have done for you. Simply stated, God wants us to walk justly, love each other as we ourselves want to be loved and to love Him with everything you have. When we can do this on a regular basis and make it a way of life. We are living righteous. Our prayers will then bring forth an abundance of answers. When struggling to be righteous as we all do in the beginning remember that the Bible is your main source of nourishment and guidance. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20. Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21. Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23. Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Galatians 5:19-24) So when you are thinking about what else you need to do to obtain that miracle…think righteous then live it. Scripture tells us that God’s word is basically a

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handbook which teaches us how to be righteous. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). EXERCISE Time to get out that spiritual mirror again. Take a good long look into the looking glass and write down what you see. What are your unrighteous traits? What unrighteous things about your life do you need to dispose of? Is it road rage, dishonesty, gossiping or another thing? Make a listâ&#x20AC;Śin doing so, we can get rid of them one thing at a time. Bring your list to your next support group meeting. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

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THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW VS. THE WIDE AND BROAD "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in there at: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." (Mathew 7:13-14) There is a very valuable and enlightening message in the above verse. There is more to being righteous than salvation. The straight and narrow gate is the toughest because it requires faith when all looks hopeless, perseverance when it seems like nothing is changing and overcoming the obstacles all the while keeping your focus and trust in God and His ability to overcome FOR you. Many people will start off on this path but the journey becomes too tough for them. The changes they have to make or old habits they need to let go of mean more to them than reaching not only the promise of an answer to their prayer(s) but the ultimate gift of eternal life in Heaven, something we humans rarely thought about until now. The straight and narrow requires heavy obligations concerning righteousness, persecution at times (for your beliefs in Jesus Christ), love and forgiveness for your enemies, which as you know is a tough pill to swallow and takes time, and it involves self-denial. That means denying things you thought made you happy before you fell to your knees. Is the person you are pinning for worth giving up all of the old ways? More importantly, do you love God enough to give them up for Him and trust He has something better even if you can’t yet see it? The wide and broad path is the easiest to follow, you accept Christ as your Savior and pray a little more often, maybe go to church, and that’s about it. You find yourself going back to your old ways frequently and in the beginning you try not to but it’s just so much easier the old way. You didn’t have to wait or be faithful or believe in anything but the here and now. So many people take the easy way are you going to be one of them? There is no easy way to reach the promise. It takes blind faith, discipline and most importantly…obedience to God. There are still times when you feel doubt and wonder if there really IS a God but somewhere deep down inside you still feel a ray of hope that keeps you moving forward. The straight and narrow is absolutely, without a doubt the hardest way but it is the most rewarding. All of your hearts desires await you at the end of the journey and best of all you will have developed a relationship with God, the fixer of all things and the one who truly loves you more than any being on earth. When you feel like going back the other way, remember that you are overcoming another obstacle every day that you stay on the straight and narrow path. Why throw all of that hard work away? Just a little further and you will be ready for your miracle. It’s kind of like the old saying that if you want something great in life, you have to work for it, nothing worth having comes easy. Personally, I appreciate my life and my accomplishments so much more after surviving my journey and I am proud of how far I have come. You will be too if you don’t give up, give in or give over until you reach the goal.

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THE BAD RAP- BORN AGAINS In order to truly grasp the concept of being righteous you have to accept your new status is life. The day you surrendered your heart to Jesus and decided to leave the pain and suffering of your old ways at the foot of cross your old spirit basically died and you were “born again” into a new way of thinking, believing and living. How many times have you encountered a “Christian” who was so belligerent or so warped in their beliefs or ways of thinking that it actually scared you away from religion or God? These are what we commonly refer to as “Hypo-Christians”. They talk the talk but they don’t walk the walk. They will stand out in the open and brag about their “born again” status and how close they are to God and how well they know scripture but in reality, they are scaring many would be Christians away with their forceful ways. In the beginning, before I knew much about my new found faith I was actually embarrassed to admit to anyone that I was “born again” and then one day as I struggled with my shame and with the overwhelming love I was developing for the Lord, I prayed and apologized to Him for the feelings I had. He put thoughts and pictures in my mind and showed me that being born again was not a title, it was a way of life and when we do it with a sincere and righteous heart we need not say a word to anyone about what we are because the way we live our lives, the actions we take and the work we perform for the kingdom of Heaven will speak for us. It is the light that begins to shine from within us that lets people know what we are and Who we belong too. It isn’t necessary for me to greet people with “Hi I’m Michele and I’m born again”, they know after spending just a few moments in my presence that there is something much greater than myself driving me and inspiring me. I especially love talking to people who knew me before my great fall, those are the ones who really see the difference in me and my life. As a result, some of them have sought the same joy and contentment in their lives. I convinced them by actions not a bunch of hollow words or warnings that they’ll end up in hell if they don’t change their ways. I planted my seeds and let God water and nurture them in the hearts of which they fell. In some cases we want our miracle of restoration so bad that we think by going out and shouting the message we are pleasing God and convincing Him that we are truly saved and doing His work, we try to convince Him that we know what we’re doing. The Lord has told us that it isn’t necessary for us to stand on the corners and pray loud so everyone can hear us instead, he tells us to go into our prayer closet where

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we can be alone with Him and pray there. He is with us there and we are not making a show of our faith in order to impress others. How you live your life and the blessings you receive as a result is impressive in and of itself. “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Mathew 6:6-8) Not only does this apply to praying but to giving and doing. "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (Mathew 6:2) The Bible tells us that these people that shut the doors to Heaven in other’s faces will face punishment more severely, so, although they come across as very knowledgeable, their pride will be their demise. Nothing is worse than a person who claims to be saved but then scares a potential believer away with his ways. To sum it up, it is not necessary for you to go about bragging that you are a born again, you can share your testimony and the visual testimony of your life will be a boast in itself. If someone should approach you and ask you what it is you have done to make your life so wonderful…share your message with them but if they don’t agree, be gentle and withhold judgment. Just because your seed isn’t sprouting before your eye doesn’t mean that it won’t. In God’s perfect time it will and He may have crossed your paths so that you can simply plant that seed of faith. Part of being righteous is walking an honest walk and not pretending to be more than you really are. Being a Christian means that you are humble and can’t get through your life without the loving hand of God to guide and uphold you. The only one your fooling when you pretend to be more than you are, is yourself. God can read your heart and knows all the secrets your soul holds.

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YOUR THOUGHTS BECOME YOUR DESTINY “Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny.” Author Unknown One of the hardest things for us to get control of is our thoughts. Our thoughts control a tremendous part of us and until I read the quote above, I didn’t realize how much my thoughts had always affected my life and my circumstances. Negative, destructive thoughts result in a miserable future. When you are able to find the down side of everything how can you expect to have anything but bad results? I have met some Christians along the way who have put off such negative vibes and attitude that just being in their presence depressed me. The focus of their walk was never on the miracles and blessings but always on the suffering. This is destructive and although God allows us to suffer at certain times during our lives He did not intent for us to dwell on the bad constantly. It is through survival of the trail that we enter into a stronger more positive relationship with Him and as we do so, we gradually allow Him to shoulder our burdens. This is almost always a lesson in trust. He tells us in the Bible "We can rejoice when we run into problems...they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." (Romans 5:3-4). We rejoice in knowing He is right there. Now is a really good time to take a good long look at yourself. Have you always been negative and pessimistic? If so, do you think this type of character would inspire someone else to have what you have? (God) or better yet, do you think that part of the reason you are in the position you are in is because your lost love couldn’t handle living with so much negativity? This is a contagious attitude, when you are around someone who is ALWAYS down and depressed, you start to become down and depressed yourself. Most people will find that when they are away from the negative person it is like a breath of fresh air. Think positive, get positive results and more people want to be in your company, think negative and surround yourself with negative and people can’t wait to get away from you. When you are living according to God’s will (His rules) you’ll feel joy, He puts it there. He fills your heart to bursting

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with all kinds of wonderful desires and hopes and your attitude and character reflect this. You are a joy to be around and your love for God is evident. Your faith and trust in Him are addictive. You are a reflection of your beliefs. And His presence living within you shines like a lamp! So keep thinking positive and remember there is nothing realistic about a miracle. EXERCISE List the negatives in your life including people, places and things. One by one remove them from your life or remove yourself from the situation. You can not surround yourself by the un-Godly things in this world on a REGULAR basis and not backslide. The influence is too great and you will start to find yourself doubting the power and ability of God. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

WHAT NOT TO PRAY FOR There are a couple of common sense items that fall into this category and there are some things that feel really right but Biblically are wrong. Let’s start with the common sense things first. If you are praying for something that you know is outside the realm of God’s will like drugs, alcohol, a job as a car thief, etc. it is a pretty safe bet that you aren’t going to get it. God promises to never give us a snake when we ask for a fish, or a stone if we ask for bread (Mathew 7:9-11) A good way to understand this promise is to think of it this way: If you were dating a person you met when you were drunk and it turned out that this person was a chronic substance abuser, physically abusive to you and hated God and after finding out they cheated on you they then broke up with you and left you heartbroken you

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began praying that God would restore this relationship because you thought you loved this person but God wasn’t answering that prayer. However, during the wait you had your great fall and drew closer to God and got to know Him and all of a sudden this new person enters your life and is everything good that the one who broke your heart wasn’t, it would be safe to say that although you were praying for restoration, God was saying “No” to that particular prayer because in all His Godly wisdom He knew that person was no good for you, instead He blessed you with a prince. As you travel on your journey you have to continuously re-evaluate what it is you are praying for. Your prayers will change direction naturally and in some cases, God will give you the urge to pray for certain things a certain way. As you gain your own wisdom through your walk, you will start to see His will for you more clearly and in essence your prayers start adapting to His will. Remember, anything you ask for according to His will, He will give you. DRINKING WATER OUT OF YOUR OWN WELL – LOVING A MARRIED MAN Another prayer that is very common amongst women is prayers for their married lovers to return to them or to unite with them on a permanent basis. Having dealt with this issue from both perspectives I want to touch on the subject. The scripture that talks about true love never failing has often been used as an excuse for a single woman (and in some cases man) pinning for a married lover. God’s rules on marriage and adultery are very clear and this is one of those heartbreak situations which I hate to say is self inflicted. The Lord clearly tells us “Drink waters out of our own cistern, and running waters out of our own well.” (Proverbs 5:15) A married man’s source of affection should be from his own wife. God's Word makes it clear that marriage is a commitment for life to that one individual chosen to be one's mate. This commitment means that "we forsake all others". If you are the other woman, you are Biblically considered an adulterer. You have no right to the man you are pinning over, not to mention the pain you may be causing his wife and children. No matter how hard I look or study the Bible there are no provisions for this and unless the man is free of his wife, he is not available to carry on with you or anyone

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else. This is one of those things that hurt so much to accept but are one of the ten rules God has clearly given us. Many of the women who are seeking help through the course are doing so because their husbands have strayed. I sincerely invite any of you who are hung up on a married lover into one of our support group meetings to hear the pain and anguish these women are going through. In almost all cases if not all, the other women know the men are married and still encourage and continue their relationships with these men. Ladies, these are your fellow sisters whom you pray with side by side on our prayer boards and in our prayer groups. How awful would you feel to learn that your married lover is one of their husbands and you, the cause of their pain? I have often heard that “it felt so perfect with him” or “I had never felt that way about anyone and he said the same about me” , even if that is the case and he promises to leave his wife, I ASSURE you the relationship is headed for disaster. God will not bless you by causing another person pain. This is one of those situations that is so very hard to give up but allows no other option. If your lost love is married to someone else, let him go because he isn’t yours he belongs to his wife. The righteous thing to do would be to pray that your involvement will not be the cause of the marriage ending and pray for this couple to reconcile stronger than ever. Do you think God will bless a person who has caused another so much pain? When you sincerely repent and ask His forgiveness, offer up prayers for the wife and for restoration of your married lover’s marriage, God will surely bless you with someone you can call your own. Not to mention the selfless act of letting go and praying for that couple and their family. If your lover’s wife knows about you and you are sincerely going to do the right thing, sit down and write her a letter even if it isn’t well received at first let her know that you have realized that you have no place in her husband’s life, apologize to her for the pain you have caused, ask her forgiveness and tell her your going to discourage all future contact and pray for her and her marriage. Some wives may react to your letter in anger and that’s OK, you are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own.

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DELAYED BECAUSE OF ACTION Our actions are one of the most common prayer delayers in the world. The problem is we often take action at the worst, most vulnerable time in the prayer process. We will be doing really well, praying and waiting and praising and waiting and hoping and waiting…you get the point, when all of a sudden out of nowhere we get this urge to do something really dumb to try and expedite the whole process. Everyone of us has to do this at least five times to totally fit in. I personally broke the record and lost count of how many times I took action. I could feel the restraint in my heart, Jesus was telling me to just back off and wait but Noooo I had the PERFECT plan, the Mac daddy idea that would surely bring the whole thing to an end. Not!! Should you e-mail them and tell them all about the new you? Maybe if you call they will answer or better yet maybe they’ll answer and be civilized. Reacting to their lack of actions follows closely behind the premature action. It is your un-Christian reaction to their lack of action or to an action you didn’t want or expect. This is a stumbling block the enemy sets up for you, he makes you believe that enough time has passed that maybe you should test the waters. When you do not get the warm reception or reaction your heart is expecting after so much prayer you explode or say things you later regret. You’ll walk away from the situation full of doubt and start wondering if God is working on the problem at all. This is a trap, avoid it at all costs. Do not try to rush God’s plan, he knows what is best and how long it is going to take to perfect it. Although the wait can catch up with you sometimes, and the pain seems like it is always hovering over you, God will not let you stay in the fire too long, He is a master silversmith and knows just how long the metal needs to be heated in order to be refined and as a master he also knows that by leaving it there too long it will be destroyed. Never in the history of the world has God ever left anyone in the fire too long. However, many people have jumped out of his hands into the fire because they couldn’t wait for the refining process to be complete. It is highly important to read your Bible on a regular basis to learn more about how God refines us. When you understand the process you then develop patience and can wait on God in peace trusting that He will never leave you in the fire too long.

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PERSERVERENCE IS A COMFORTING PRIORITY There are numerous places in the Bible that tell us to pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17) or reflect God’s desire for us to pray persistently. We are told to keep asking, keep seeking and keep knocking (Mathew 7:7), Elijah was told to go up on the mount and pray seven times for rain. He did so and after the seventh time a tiny cloud appeared and it rained like cats and dogs. There are actually two messages in that scripture one reflects God’s desire for us to pray constantly and the other is that just because something looks really small like that cloud it can be filled to the brim with a blessing. (1 Kings 18:42-45) I am often asked why God doesn’t answer prayers instantly. Actually, sometimes He does but at other times the prayers need a little marinating. Your dilemma and your need for His help and intervention have you so focused on Him, like never before and for the first time in your lives you are looking up. Although your reasons may be a bit selfish at first God still has your attention. If He were to answer our prayer in an instant what need would there be for faith? How close would you really get to Him? Would you stay as committed to developing a relationship with Him as you are now? Probably not. Constant praying and seeking is a direct route to the miracle. It is in these regular and very frequent prayer sessions that you learn you can lean on him for more than just heartbreak. Additionally, a solid commitment to the person or desire of your heart you are praying for shows God how dedicated you are to what you are asking for. Additionally, you are asking for His blessing on the whole situation which is an invitation for Him to stay involved and so long as you keep Him front and center, you’ll never find yourself in this broken hearted position again. NOTHING is greater than that. Coming together with God in prayer is soothing and the best spiritual nourishment you will find. Remember that in order for your prayers to be heard you have to offer them with a sincere belief in Jesus Christ, and all requests should be made in His name. A good guide is to ask yourself if Jesus were standing with you would you ask HIM to ask the Father for what it is you’re praying for? If the answer is yes, then proceed.

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REMOVING ALL OBSTACLES Being born again into a new life is a wonderful thing but can be tough at times. For years you have been living your life a certain way, associating with certain people, entertaining certain habits and spending time in certain places. Some of that is still good and will conform nicely to your new ways but then we find ourselves locked in prayer and can’t seem to figure out why we aren’t seeing answers. There are some obstacles that may need to be removed. A good way to know what is good and bad is to keep reading your Bible. It covers most of the basic do’s and don’ts. One of the most commonly asked questions revolves around the people you choose to socialize with. The Bible specifically tells us that we should steer clear of non-believers but that isn’t always an easy thing to do especially if those people that don’t share your new ideas and beliefs are your family or even your partner. (See Loving an Unbeliever Page 133) Without taking a hard line approach to this particular issue but still staying within the acceptable boundaries I believe that when we become believers it is important to spend time with people who are believers also, as time goes on and you sincerely fall into the will of God your desire to socialize with people who don’t believe the same things diminishes because basically you have little in common any more. I do believe that it is important for you to shine your light on all of the people in your life even if you do not hang out with them any more. It may be through you that they too accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior which would mean that you aren’t losing a friend your reflecting your new self and beliefs and because you are sincere the people of your past want some of what you have too. In the event that not all of your friends and/or family members follow immediately doesn’t mean that one day they won’t. As a new Christian you will learn that praying for others is a major part of life for you now. (Read 2 Corinthians 6:14) Another obstacle that many of you are struggling to overcome is substance or alcohol abuse. Overcoming this obstacle requires Herculean strength and almost always, professional assistance. Without overcoming this obstacle you are going to continuously hit the same brick wall. Abuse of anything, is almost like a form of idolatry. If this is one of your obstacles then you know that addiction is a center point of your life. No matter how hard you may try, you still have days where getting the substance is priority. God wants you to seek Him like an addictive drug if you

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aren’t already. Aside from the addictive issues of any substance abuse, many substances come with their own set of demons some of which include depression, restlessness, inability to stay focused, anxiety, panic attacks, violent outbursts, etc. The two that impact your prayer life tremendously are the depression and restlessness. Many substance abusers lack the ability to stay focused on the program or look over the circumstances and rely on faith, they find themselves desperate for the answer to come, pacing, shaking, and backsliding because they are not able to learn one of the greatest lessons in the journey…patience. Their minds will focus only on the negative and the absence of the answer they so diligently seek. One of the main contributors to this obstacle and prevention of your answer is denial. If you have been through a substance abuse program then you are familiar with the term and its meaning. So long as you deny that the substance is causing a problem you are going to continue to hit the brick wall. This obstacle has to be dealt with thoroughly and preferably with the help of professionals skilled in helping you overcome the addiction and the denial. Prayer is added insurance that you will not be kicking the habit (s) alone. Although cigarette smoking is addictive it does not alter a person’s thought process the way other addictive substances do. Other addictions can include sex, food and other things. Although society has embraced the concept of casual sex and at one point or another almost everyone has taken advantage of that concept, the bottom line is, promiscuity is wrong. People actually laugh at the suggestion that having sex with anyone and everyone that you choose to have sex with may be wrong and none seem to understand the long-term effects it has on your lives. Now I don’t want to sound like a fuddy duddy here but you know what? God gave us these rules for a reason. How unfair to pick and choose the ones we think are acceptable and then expect His full power in return when we are praying for a miracle. How would you feel if He said “Well…I have the power to restore your marriage because the Bible says I despise divorce BUT I think I’ll just leave the two of you as loving friends”, It would be a half promise the same way you are obeying half His rules. Think about it. When your earthly Father placed a restriction on your activities, you obeyed didn’t you? Why is God any different? Your earthly father placed those restrictions because he KNEW that if you were allowed to do what it was he was restricting you from it would hurt you. You think God just doesn’t want you to feel good or have fun? Casual sex has resulted in many of today’s problems, AIDS and other STD’s, record teenage pregnancy, record abortion rate, and record single parent families. Think He issued that restriction for a reason?

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Fornication, or voluntary sex between an unmarried couple is a sin no matter how you look at it and no matter what light society shines on it. So living together out of wed-lock is a no-no. And if your circumstance revolves around that issue it may be safe to say God has interrupted the unholy union for a reason. That’s not to say he isn’t using the situation and your heartbreak to right that wrong, for your sake, your children’s sake (if kids are involved) and for the sake of His kingdom. You can’t say you are a believer but then keep living in sin. That is called hypocrisy. Be at peace knowing God has your best interest at heart and will work the situation out for you when you pray for Him to help you make it right. If your mate is afraid to take the vows, pray that God will intervene. He will. If you have been praying that God will bring back your live in lover, and he hasn’t returned you now know why. It’s not the end of the world it’s just time to re-structure those prayers. LOVING AN UNBELIEVER When a believer is married to an unbeliever the Bible says that the marriage as well as the children born to that union are legitimate before God. Contrary to the advice some well wishers will give you that the marriage is on the rocks because your spouse is an unbeliever the Lord clearly states in 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 that the believer should continue to live with the unbeliever and not seek to divide the marriage or home because the husband or wife may have a special influence so that the spouse is led to accept Christ. Did I hear a sigh of relief from the gallery? Now, in cases where there is no marriage the Lord tells us that one of the main reasons why there is so much division amongst people is because there are those who are in Christ and those who are not, He tells us that a believer should not VOLUNTARILY partner with unbelievers. So what do you do if you partnered before you were a believer? You pray and ask God for guidance. The same principles apply to un-married couples who partnered before they became Christians, I believe that when the relationship was meant to be, God will lead both parties to Christ through prayer. This is a tough situation and involves much prayer and listening. It is in these cases that many women find themselves praying earnestly for their men and hoping with all of their heart that the one they are praying for is the one. This involves a major step and literally an act of God to accomplish but if you are in this position you have to slowly guide yourself towards truly leaving this situation in God’s hands. To pray for the one you have lost is totally OK but in the event that

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your will is overriding His will, you have to trust God will line you up with the one whom HE chooses for you who fits all the criteria necessary for one of His daughters. Now I know your stomach just dropped into your ankles but this is one of the steps that leads to our answer. If you are praying for a certain person who may or may not be a believer you have to allow God to do what you have asked Him to do in your life and that is send you His best. He will, and IF the one you are praying for is not the one He has in mind for you I promise that when the time comes it won’t hurt one bit to let him go. This can not happen until you are truly ready to release the decision to God. As I have stated before, God knows what is best for you, He will not put you with a person who is going to corrupt your relationship with Him. He won’t allow that under any circumstances…will you? LET GO AND LET GOD Letting go of the situation and leaving it totally in God’s hands is a lot easier said than done but it is necessary for you to receive your answer. To trust what you can see with only your spirit takes some conditioning of the mind and many days of learning to lean on your faith. You have to have unshakable faith and trust in God to do this and as you travel on your journey both your faith in Him and your trust in Him will grow until it is steady and strong. Let go and Let God As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend. But then, instead of leaving Him, in peace, to work alone; I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?" "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." - Author: Lauretta P. Burns

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The above poem is a good way to put things into perspective. We bring our broken dreams to God and say that we trust He will fix them, when He doesn’t do it as fast as we think He should we keep taking matters into our own hands, making it worse and possibly breaking it further, then when the situation looks like it is beyond repair we get indignant and wonder why He didn’t fix it when in reality we have never truly left it in His hands all the way. No matter how tough it is to wait sometimes you have too. By continuously trying to fix the situation yourself you may be damaging it further, God will not interfere with you, He will never override your free will and eventually, if you do not leave the situation alone, the damage will be irreparable. GETTING WHAT WE GIVE Society has made us all leery of giving to anything even remotely associated with charity or good causes. There are more scams out there than there are churches. When the Lord talks about giving He isn’t referring to money only. He’s talking about the giving of yourself. Ever notice that around Christmas time everyone gets into this major spirit of giving? People are kinder to each other (except in the mall) and you feel like your going to burst with joy. Now I know for some of you dealing with heartbreak Christmas is the LAST day you want to think about right now…we’ll get into surviving the weekends and holidays in a little while. My point is, if you are capable of feeling that charitable in both attitude and materially at Christmas, why can’t you be that way all year round? How hard is it to walk into a grocery store and smile? You never know when your smile is going to make someone in a grumpy mood lighten up a bit. Now, keeping in mind that if you shop on a Saturday your ankles are fair game for the seniors in the store, you can still be pleasant and smile, say hello or a kind word. Your unsuspecting victim will have no choice but to respond in a pleasant manner. When you are unable to give from your pocket book you can give from your heart. Your time may be precious to someone else in the world right now, if you give little of yourself expect to receive little in return. If you give with a grudge your not giving your simply doing. God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7) Now here is the best promise of all in this matter…you reap what you sow! God rewards you accordingly! Some people have no money to give but they will give their time, advice, and their hearts which in reality, is more valuable than any amount of

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money. Now, I’m not saying that you should withhold your tithes but if you think because your giving 10% of your income your covered, your wrong. People have become so accustomed to paying their tithe and settling into the comfortable knowledge that they did their part. Have you ever considered being creative with your tithe? Instead of giving the whole 10% to your church give them 8% and find another worthy cause where your tithe will help someone. Each year my dad makes a good size donation to his favorite charities but that isn’t enough for him, at Thanksgiving and Christmas time he takes it a step further. At Thanksgiving, he gives each of his employees a turkey (at least 15lbs.) and at Christmas he gives them a Christmas party and a nice bonus. He is one of the only people in his particular industry who does this. His unsuspecting employees are overjoyed when they get that bonus. But that’s not all…He finds two families through the local police department who will not have a holiday without help. In all of these cases the families either can not qualify for help from a charity or are from another country like Haiti or Guatemala, he buys them the entire dinner, paper products, drinks, extras and even little toys for the kids if they have children. He buys enough food for them to eat for a week and the best part is, this family NEVER knows where it comes from. Our family looks forward to this little ritual every year, we write a tag and attach it to the box that reads: From an Angel, the police officer who is in cahoots with us delivers the box to the family and we really never know how they react but the feeling of goodness it puts in each of us that participate is incredible. We have done surprise goody boxes at other times of the year also and the feeling is always the same…it always feels like Christmas. This is the best giving of all because the gift wasn’t about money it was about the love and caring in our hearts when we did it. If you know of a new ministry or church just starting out and you know their hearts are devoted to the cause, give your 2% to that ministry, they may be waiting for your gift to get their project off the ground. How wonderful to be a part of the birth of a brand new ministry! Pray and ask God for guidance on this matter, ask Him where He wants you to give yourself. The more you give the less you will expect and the more you will receive. The giving becomes addictive. God reads your heart and knows you aren’t giving to receive but you are giving because in your heart you want too.

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SPIRITUAL MATURITY THROUGH SPIRITUAL MILK As each day goes by you are letting go of the junk food you were served all of these years, your heart is longing to get closer to God. In the beginning, we are just like babies, in reality we are babes in faith. Milk is an essential part of a baby's diet and without milk they would die. When we are "born again" into the family of God we become babes in the faith and without spiritual milk we would die. Spiritual milk is the word of God. Whether you are new to the Christian faith or have been a Christian for a number of years, the progress of your spiritual growth depends, to a degree, on how much time you spend with the word of God - The Bible. Physical and spiritual growth has many similarities. A Baby (and even adults) normally requires their food immediately when they wake up (or as soon as possible). The same should also be true for spiritual milk. As a new Christian (and even a more mature one), you will discover that your hearts desire is to know more about God. God has revealed Himself in his word. Take time to read the word daily. Never starve yourself of the word. If you do you risk loosing your appetite altogether. This could result in stunted growth or death (i.e. backsliding from the faith). A Christian who refuses to live constantly on the word of God will remain a spiritual baby (1 Corinthians 3: 1-4). The qualities mentioned in 1 Peter 2:1 (quoted above) are symptoms of a spiritual baby. Reading the word daily is how you drink spiritual milk. The gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are a good place to start reading. However if you are to grow strong you will need more than the milk of the word (Hebrew 5: 12-14). You will need solid food. Getting solid food out of the word involves more than just reading it. It means practicing what you are learning. Living the word and reflecting. The more mature you become the more child like your faith will be. To have the faith of a child is pretty simple. Remember when you were a little kid and you went out walking with your father? You knew as long as He was by your side you were totally safe, there was never a question in your mind that your father would protect you, when you needed to cross a busy street he would take your hand and lead you across. Did you ever once question your welfare while he was holding your hand? You just knew from the bottom of your little heart that you were protected and provided for. Child like faith is no different. You place your hand in Gods and cross

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the street. So long as He is holding your hand no harm will ever come to you. It’s as simple as that. Child like faith is to know that when you asked you dad for something he would give you what you asked for, so long as it wouldn’t hurt you and he would give you better than what you asked for. Child like faith makes knowing the answer is coming easier to believe. When we TRUST the answer is coming we spend less time focusing on what we don’t have and delight in what we do. Now you have the basic requirements for obtaining answers to your prayers, you know you need to change some of your ways, choice of entertainment, habits and maybe re-evaluate what you are praying for with regards to your marital status or that of your lost love. You now know the rules surrounding being equally yoked with believers. The next chapter will cover the last and best requirement for answered prayer. EXERCISE At this point in the course you will be utilizing the interactive features that accompany the workshop. Regular support group meetings, prayer meetings and webinar attendance are required to stay focused and keep moving forward. Your God book or journal should be a constant source of comfort and release to you. By now you are realizing that God reads every word and you should find comfort knowing that you can release your thoughts and feelings there as well as in your prayers. Some people even write their prayers in their God book or journal and go back over time to see which are being answered and which are still in process. As time goes on you will add to your prayer list and some prayers will change. Keep track of the date, prayer and date it was answered. This journal will be a testimony of your journey in the future. At this point in your journey you can begin to understand the way God thinks. You can see why He tells us to “wait” or even why He sometimes says “no” with regards to our choice of a partner. God says he made all men in His image, the good news is that somewhere buried deep inside the one you love the image of God resides; sometimes you can see this image and at other times you can not. Make a list below of the things about your partner that reflect God’s image. Even if he is an unbeliever

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there is still a reflection it could be generosity, kindness, etc. List the God like traits of your partner below: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Now list the traits that are not God like and BE HONEST! ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

Meditate on the two lists and decide which things you can live with and what things you can live without, list your reasons why. Be detailed and feel free to seek support through HBU Interactive if you need help with this.

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With regards to givingâ&#x20AC;Ś make a list below of the things you do to give, whether it be monetary or gifts of yourself. Read and meditate on the list and ask yourself if you think you give with a sincere heart, give enough, or give at all and what you expect in return. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world â&#x20AC;&#x201C; our faith. (1 John 5:4)

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STEP FIVE – THE GREATEST PROMISE OF ALL Do you have any idea how far you have come? You are so close to being “miracle ready” that you can just about touch it. This next step is the greatest of all promises and at this point in your walk doing what it takes to obtain this promise will be easier than you think. While going through the next steps of the course take your focus of the fact that your lost love is not around. Instead, start planting miracle producing seeds of thought into your mind and confirm them with what comes out of your mouth. Instead of entertaining thoughts of how much you miss them thank and praise God for the time you did spend with them and for allowing that love to live in your heart, after all, God has allowed you to love them this much for a reason. By continuously finding good in all that surrounds you the ability to delight in the Lord is going to become easier and more sincere. I waited until now to share this step with you because it is right about this point in your journey, after you have dealt with all of the things we have covered that you will be ready to tackle what is next. At this point in the journey you heart is more open to this promise and your ability to achieve what it takes to receive the promise is much greater than it was in the first steps. By now you are truly hooked on God, you realize that you need Him to get through each day and especially through the dark hours of which there are still some. Thank God not as many as when we started but keep in mind, you’re human and still prone to attacks from the enemy, who by the way will have thought of all kinds of new ways to penetrate your ever strengthening armor. As you mature spiritually, the devil will try new ways to trick you but the one that usually works the best throughout the journey is time. Time can be your greatest asset or your most vicious enemy depending on how you look at it. The next step should cause your heart to burst because it is one of the absolute greatest things God ever promised us in the Bible and the best part is, you are almost already there. DELIGHT IN THE LORD AND HE’LL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART WHOA! Does it get ANY better than that? Absolutely not. Sometimes it is easier said than done. To delight yourself in God is to desire and enjoy the nearness of His

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presence and the truth and righteousness of His word. (Psalms 37:4) To those that delight themselves in the Lord, God gives the desires of their hearts. God will answer the cry of your heart if your desires are in accordance with His will, by now, you can pretty much feel Him in your heart and know through prayer and studying His word if you are in line with His will for you. When you delight yourself in God and His will, God himself places desires within your heart that he then sets out to fulfill. (Philippians 2:13) God’s grace has been and will continue to be at work within you to produce both the desire and the power to do His will. God’s will in us is not one of compulsion or irresistible grace, the work of grace within us is always dependent on our faithfulness and cooperation. As a believer you did not choose to be saved; God offered salvation to you as a grace it is up to us to maintain our faith and nurture and develop a relationship with God. Usually, a trial such as heartbreak will leave us no choice but to quit and give up on the person we are praying for or turn to God and remain faithful to Him while we wait for Him to fulfill His promises to us. During the wait we journey closer and closer to the center of His heart and in doing so we develop a longing for His presence. After our trial has built endurance and endurance has developed patience we find our only source of comfort is when we are in prayer or communion with God himself. Our dependency starts to shift and we find our joy no longer depends so much on the return or presence of our lost love but on the infallible love and presence of God. Knowing that when we start to feel that despair in the pit of our stomach we need only lift our hearts to Him and He hears us and will answer with peace. This peace you are coming to know is His presence. As you draw closer to Him and your hunger for knowledge has turned into a regular habit of reading the Bible and researching all you can about God and Jesus you will find that His will and righteousness are now a way of thinking for you. When you see something disturbing that wouldn’t have phased you a few months ago but angers you because you know it is an abuse of His love and blessings you are then sincerely delighting in God.

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SEEING GOD IN EVERYTHING The further along you come and the closer you draw to God you will begin to see life through your spiritual eyes more clearly. During the first stages of our journey we are always looking for signs and wonders to prove God is working on the situation, we beg and plead for Him to do something crazy like darken the sun or make your lost love call. Sometimes He will bless us with a show of His hand and at others He will make us learn to trust Him. As you walk further and start to view life through your spiritual eyes you will realize that the signs were around you the whole entire time but you were too spiritually blind to see them, you only saw things that were worldly or tried to con God into giving you just the briefest of contacts with your lost love in whatever form He chose. To sit outside and spend alone time with God is a wonderful interactive experience that only a devout and sincere believer will truly enjoy. As you soak up the wonderful gifts around you look at each and everything and imagine what it must have taken to create it. I’m talking about grass and trees and birds and….bees! I’m a poet and didn’t know it! Seriously, have you ever sat on a soft bed of grass and really looked around you? Have you any idea how incredible the world and all the things He put in it? The one thing I love to do is to sit by the ocean, living in Florida makes that possible and it’s a good thing because I feel closer to God when I am sitting by the sea. There is something about the endlessness of the ocean that reminds me of His love for me and His endless power. When you’re spiritually in tune with God you start to see Him in everything around you. I would go outside in the morning and meditate on nature and even the simple things like the turtle doves or clouds. When you close you eyes and be still, you can feel Him right there with you. For instance, One day I was going through a dip and feeling kind of down when I went outside to sit on the patio, while I was out there I prayed that God would give me peace so that I could get through the rest of the day. During that brief prayer time I asked him ever so gently to show me a sign that He was close by, now in the past I would have expected an angel to descend from the sky but not today, I just needed something to hold onto, something that would let me really feel His presence through the turmoil I was dealing with at that particular moment. All of a sudden a turtle dove came from the sky and as it descended it blocked the sun so that all I could see was its outline, I instantly remembered a

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passage I had read in the book of Mathew where John the Baptist had just baptized Jesus and after doing so the Heavens were opened up and he saw the Spirit of God descend like a dove. (Mathew 3:16). All I can say is, Instant peace. God heard me and although there were always turtle doves around my yard, today I saw God in them just as He intended. Anyone else would have said Hey, check out that bird! DELIGHT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE Now, if you’re like a lot of people including myself you are going to read the entire course in a day and try to get from Step One to this point by jumping over all the others. Don’t deny that you’re thinking about it, I did and I even tried it. One day during the fourth month of my journey I said a prayer and asked god to show me something I could hang on to in order to drag my heart through that day, I opened the Bible and closed my eyes and pointed to the scripture, well, I allowed Him to pint me to the scripture He was giving me for that day. Bang! There it was, Psalms 37:4. “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”, that was a defining moment in my walk and I leapt for joy. I had found the answer to all of my sorrows. The Heavens were going to shutter now, I delighted in the Lord and I told him so, for the next two days I waited patiently for the desires of my heart to drop out of the sky. By the second day I was growing restless, the answer was nowhere in sight and I was getting angry. How much delight does a person have to have to get a desire around here? I even tried calling my lost love and was greeted by his voice mail which by that time, I hated more than the devil (Caller ID was NOT my favorite technology back then). By that night I decided that the Bible lied and God wasn’t listening, I threw the entire book out my bedroom window! I ranted and raved and told God that I had believed for FOUR whole months that He was going to answer my prayers and still, no answer. How come everyone else was getting answers to their prayers and I was still all alone and miserable? I tried so hard to quit that night, to just throw in the towel and take my life back into my own hands. The only problem was there wasn’t much to my old life that I could take back. For the next couple of days I tried my hardest to ignore the peace I was feeling and the little warm fuzzies God was putting in my heart. Instead I was having a monumental pity party and a class action temper tantrum. It’s funny how God literally treats us like His children. He stood back for those few days and allowed me my fit but the whole time I can remember feeling His presence. He loved me enough to let me vent and rage but then when I was all done and felt really horrible about the whole thing He lovingly

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enveloped me in those divine arms and let me know that it was OK for me to feel the way I was…he then set out to show me how little I really did delight in Him. Instead, I was learning about Him just to get the miracle, at least at that point I was it would all change from then on. RIGHTEOUS ANGER FOR LACK OF CONCERN BY NON BELIEVERS One of the signs that confirm we are truly starting to delight in God and conform to His will is the anger or resentment we feel when we step back and look at the world. You will come into contact with people every day who “believe” in God but they are doing absolutely nothing to live their life accordingly. The anger you feel when you hear them talk about their weekly routine attendance at church or their donation to a charity or the gossip they spread about their neighbors and/or family members and friends is what I call righteous anger. You are now truly living up to your responsibility as His offspring and to see others that abuse the name of God or make no effort to live a Godly life causes us to be angry with the world. You wonder how people have allowed themselves and society to get so far out of hand and the urge to make a difference can be overwhelming at times. When you stand back and observe how many people live life according to the rules of society you will be shocked. Everything from our government to individual groups have gone so far away from God and His principles that it almost seems like we, the believers are the minority. The most frustrating part is that many Christians will do or say nothing to change these things because they simply decide that they are out numbered or because they feel the law makers are so corrupt they don’t stand a chance so instead they do nothing not even try. Day after day, year after year, decade after decade our nation and would be or should be believers slip further and further away. The ones who are standing strong and trying to make a difference are overwhelmed with “why bother?” attitudes. It makes you want to shout at them and tell them to stop the hypocrisy and do what they were ordained to do. How much easier it would be if every single one of us would just do our part, the world would be a much better place to live in. One of the issues that should spark the most righteous anger and also the most effort is the educating of our children. Kids these days are beyond out of control. Many of them have absolutely NO religious or Christian training at all and the parents that raise them ignore this fact. They live worldly lives and raise their children with worldly ideals. No mention of God’s great power or His great love for

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us. Many of our kids are left to raise themselves or are being raised by a single parent who have no choice but to work to support themselves and their kids leaving little time for much else. Teenage girls use abortion as a form of birth control and the law says they don’t even have to tell their parents. Young boys are never instructed in the ways a man should walk, the responsibility he has to society or the proper way to treat women. All of these things that are never addressed effect the way the world is. Our children will go out and do what they see us doing or worse yet, when there is no parent there to guide them, they will allow their friends to raise them. The blind leading the blind. And then we wonder why adolescent crime is at an all time high. The one thing we need to do as believers is protect and educate our children. People laugh when you talk about a family life that resembles the Cleavers but the bottom line is, THAT was what family was all about. Home life was foundation for everything else and men were responsible and so were women. If we could apply the principles of life back then to life now our world would be a much better place. People laugh when I tell them, but I want what Beaver had and Praise God, He blessed me with pretty close to that. So I tell those folks that laugh at me that life might be rough in the job market but God blessed me with a home to go to each night. My husband may drive me crazy at times but He blessed me with a man who actually stands at the head of our family and leads, not the other way around, my kids are each entering the insane teenage years but Thank God I found Him in time to teach my little girls what not to do and my son know that his actions could break someone that cares about him’s heart. I have a house full of dogs, a cat, two birds and some fish and don’t let me forget the hamster and although we walk in the door and it is hectic each one of us knows that home is where we find our strength and peace and where we all get to be together. We all look forward to coming home mostly because that is where we find each other, so I tell those that think I’m funny to go ahead and laugh I wouldn’t have my blessing any other way. Sitcom life is good! Righteous anger can be productive when it is not judgmental or abusive. Funnel that energy towards making a difference and don’t try to change the whole world at once, start by changing yourself and those around you first and then go out into the world and try to make a change. Your light will shine and that in itself will make a difference.

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TAKE GOD SERIOUSLY As you learn this most important step in receiving an answer to your hearts most desired prayer it is important that you take God and His word seriously. Being obedient to the way the Holy Spirit moves you is important and remarkable. The leading you will feel on your heart to do things you never would have imagined doing is His way of talking to you and it is His guidance that you requested. Listen to it and when you are unsure about what you are hearing, pray and then be still and listen for His peace in the center of your chest. The Bible may have been written thousands of years ago but when you develop spiritual vision you can clearly see that the principles are designed for every day and age. Take them seriously. If the Bible says that fornication is a sin and in the past casual sex was OK for you, rethink your ways. The more you walk the closer to God you will get and His will becomes clearer. Giving up the things that kept you separated in the past won’t be that hard to do because you love for Him will have grown to such an intensity that you’ll want to change your ways. You’ll find that even though your lost love is not with you, God is and His presence and grace are sufficient. You will start to understand what it means when people tell you that you need to love God as your husband. It doesn’t mean that you feel the same way about Him that you would a lover, it means that while your significant other is away, God is filling the void and better than your partner ever could! Delighting in Him means that the choices you have made in the past may not be the right ones, seeing how bad they may have been will be clear and as you grow closer to Him your trust in Him to give you an amazing alternative will bring joy to your heart as well as expectation. The fear you used to feel when thinking “what if he isn’t the one” will not cripple you the way it used to. You’ll be content know that God never gives His daughters anything less than the best. Even if He has to refine you and yours in order to live up to that. Being delighted in God is a part of our faith journey that we grow into, and then it grows into us. After all, it takes a certain amount of childlike maturity to truly be grateful to God. As we nurture our grateful attitude, we will find that we are indeed delighted in being with God. Delighting in God is feeling peace that only He can give knowing that He is ALWAYS there when you need Him, you need only pray.

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Delighting in God is a lot easier said than done and truly takes several steps to reach. It is only by traveling the journey He has set for you that you will sincerely learn to delight in God and once you do, Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll fulfill those desires in your heart. EXERCISE Get your God Book or journal out and write God a love letter, in this letter tell Him what feelings of delight you have for Him. Attend an HBU praise session and share your new feelings of delight. Remember the second half of the course is highly interactive. In the spaces below make a list of the things that cause you to feel righteous anger: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

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Here is the part that we actually have to work a little! Choose one thing in the world that causes you to feel righteous anger, In an e-mail or MS Word write an essay between 2 and 4 pages long describing your views and what you would do to change that particular problem. If you use resources be sure to list them in a Bibliography in case your paper is published on the HBU web site or newsletter. (HBU will obtain permission for the original authors before publishing). Email your essay to shell@heartbreakuniversity.org Be sure to attend the HBU webinar on â&#x20AC;&#x153;The attributes of Godâ&#x20AC;? Make a list of questions you have for your HBU coach and schedule an online coaching session. This is a good point to go over what you have learned, what points you are stuck on and to discuss issues you may need to clarify. Questions: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

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ASK NOT WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR YOU BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR GOD True faith, sincere faith is evidenced by works. Once you have faith what you do with it is important. Faith without works is like all talk and no action. You can say you have faith but if you don’t put that faith in action it is the same as saying Talk is cheap. Faith with works is the same as deeds with love. They are sincere actions you take to glorify God and His kingdom. Faith without works is dead. It is a façade that you live each day thinking you are convincing God that your sincere in your walk. The one guy you can NEVER deceive about your intentions is God. He has a direct line into your heart and soul and can read the truth in you even better than you yourself can. True faith always manifests itself in obedience toward God and compassionate deeds towards needy people and unbelievers. Some people believe that a position in the church as a minister or pastor is all it takes to have faith with works, if your heart is not sincerely doing the work of God it is a dead faith and an insincere attempt. A true faith in God turns into faith AT work. The desire to share the message becomes a mission and God uses each and every one of us to carry out His plans on earth. We each have a designated job which was determined before we were even born. He knew us before we were born and has a life plan for each of us. Once we live according to His will He can then allow that plan for our life to unfold. (Jeremiah 1:5) As you now know many of us travel through life ignoring this responsibility and His tap on our shoulder, then one day we find ourselves so broken that we have no other options but to turn up or die living in sin and misery. We very rarely take into account what happens to us after we leave this life we have on earth. Many people will debate the afterlife and as a Christian you now believe that when you die your soul goes to one of two places Heaven or hell. When confronted with this debate my answer is always the same: “I’d rather live my entire life believing there is a God and following His word to find at the end there wasn’t, than to live my life as is if there is no God and the Bible is false and find out at the end there really is.” This is blind faith in action. As with any relationship it is give and take. Up until now you are in your Christian infancy and as with any infant your every spiritual need is dependent on Him. He

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likes it that way but as you mature you start to realize that a relationship is a two way street. When you never give back to the relationship it becomes stale and one sided and will slowly disintegrate. A relationship with God is really no different except we know that when we sincerely repent in our ways He will always take us back. True faith has to take action it has to produce a result not only in you but in those you touch through your new life. HOW DO I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING? As you walk and mature you will feel a special tug on your heart that leads you in the direction that you should be going with regards to your work for God. When I began my journey I searched high and low for information on a miracle of restored love through faith. There was nothing. I found plenty of prayer sites that had scripture about marriage and some sites with prayers but there was no specific place that covered what steps I needed to take to obtain a miracle of true or restored love. As my faith grew and my delight in God became more sincere He started showing me how bad off men and women in the world were with regards to love. So many bad choices, so many broken hearts and the cycle just kept repeating itself until their lives were a mess and their children were traumatized. I built my first web site about half way through my walk and the general theme was “miracles” and how to request and get one. (requestamiracle.com), then as my walk progressed and I began talking to others and researching I realized that God had a phenomenal plan for me. I was going to create the very first web site that dealt specifically with broken hearts and how to recover from one and how to pray for restoration or true love into your life. The rest is history and your reading the results of God’s plan for me. I was amazed at the men and women who came from all around the world seeking the answers but never able to find them. I was shocked at how many people were dealing with heartbreak. We live in a broken world and our hearts truly reflected that. I had my mission but I didn’t have my miracle yet. It didn’t matter, the desire and drive to help others was overwhelming, and by the time my miracle found me, I was so dedicated to the task God has put before me that I continued to minister to the broken hearted of this world. My journey had taken longer than I wanted at first but had it not taken so long I never would have stayed as devoted to the cause had I been given what I was praying for any sooner. I learned to put God above all else and in turn He blessed me with a miracle that wouldn’t interfere or try to corrupt my beliefs, instead he joined my crusade!

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Four years later and a mended heart I am still devoted to heartbreak. The one thing that caused me more pain than what I thought was possible to feel changed my life and resulted in the greatest love I have ever known! His works through me are ongoing and sincere. I LOVE doing what I do! You will too when you find your works. The works you are meant to do will come naturally to you. You will feel drawn to a certain aspect of ministry or a special place in the church and you will know that you have found your designated work. It will drive you night and day and your desire to do more and more is intoxicating. God will fill your heart with such an incredible desire and a wisdom for what it is you have been chosen for that and at times the words that leave your mouth will leave you wondering who said them, you or Him? LETTING YOUR LIGHT SHINE From the pits of despair with clouds of darkness surrounding you, you have risen to new heights. There is little darkness left in your heart now that you know you have Jesus living there. He is your very best friend and your inspiration. He is your encouragement and your motivation. He is your everything and from here on out life can only get better. You are a light in a world of darkness and now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to let that light shine. Will you inspire another to leave that darkness behind and seek the light for themselves? You know that many people in the world hold wrong views, have corrupt values, follow an immoral way of life and reject the principles of the word of God, it is up to you to be a shining light amongst all that darkness (Philippians 2:15). You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill can not be hid (Mathew 5:14) Let your light so shine before others that it reflects your good works and glorifies God. (Mathew 5:16). THE WORK OF INTERCESSION From the second you started this journey intercession has played a major role in your walk. The interactive portion of the course involves 90% intercessory prayer by others for you and by you for others. It is one of the greatest works we can do to lift someone up to God or stand in the gap for them in prayer. One of the most common intercessions we do is for our lost love. Now that we have stabilized ourselves and can see a little more clearly our prayers for our lost love (and others)will be more effective. In many cases the people who broke our hearts

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know little or nothing about prayer and praying. In order for them to receive the blessings God has for them it is sometimes necessary for us to “stand in the gap” for them. Imagine a line of people holding hands praising God and praying to Him, at some point in the line there is a break in the chain and the break might be your lost love. You want God to look down and bless your partner too as part of this prayer you are all saying but he or she is nowhere to be found, what do you do? You stand in their place and pray for them on their behalf. You are basically saying “God, they aren’t here to pray for themselves; they are far away from you right now but I love them so much and want you to bless them too!”. Keep in mind that asking God to MAKE someone do something is going to end in a “no results” answer. God promises not to MAKE us do anything but gifted us with a free will to choose the options He places in front of us. At this point in your journey you know that God is going to bless you with His perfect answer so you may want to open your prayer request for your lost love to allow for God to work His wonders. First stop and think about what you are praying for…in the past the “MAKE him come back prayer was what got you through but now that you are a new creature you most definitely want what is best, so your prayer may change to something like this: “God, the love I have for (name) is still as strong as ever, however I realize that the relationship could not go on the way it was, I praise you for the changes you made in me through this trial and for the strength you have given me to endure, thank you for never abandoning me, Lord, I know there are still some things I need to work on and I ask your forgiveness for the mistakes I make, still, please keep me from evil Father, don’t just help me overcome temptation, help me avoid it all together, Lord, I am asking that you fill (name) heart with your spirit, send angels and Godly people across his/her path today and allow his heart to be open to the message, Father I ask that You draw him closer to You and help him be more like You. If it is what is best for both of us then please help us to make the changes we need to make to start over in a life in Chris,t together if this is what YOU choose for us. In Jesus name, Amen.” A prayer like this covers all of the bases. Adore Appreciate, admit and then ask, for yourself and for the one you are praying for and interceding for the lost or unbelievers is one of the greatest works we can do. It’s like secretly covering their backs for them. One important thing to remember when interceding is that the enemy HATES the fact that you are “standing in” for someone that he has his claws

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in, be sure to have your armor firmly in place and be alert to the attacks you face. Many intercessorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s have told me that when they were praying for certain people and certain causes, the devil just went wild and they became involved in spiritual battle like nothing they had experienced. Start of light in the beginning and be aware of what you face. These battles that confront you are not worldly but spiritual and you have to be of sound spirit and firm in faith and trust to intercede effectively.

EXERCISE In an e-mail or MS WORD write a short essay of how you would like to serve God. Remember that there are no boundaries so write even your most outrageous or impossible dreams that pertain to this. Would you start a unique ministry or some special work? If so, what would you specialize in? When you have completed the essay e-mail it to shell@heartbreakuniversity.org Write your prayer for your lost love below. Include what it is you would like God to do in his/her life. ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

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STEP SEVEN – A BRAND NEW CREATION!! A NEW WAY OF LIFE Step seven is all about maintenance. It is being capable of recognizing all of the issues that surround heartbreak and then utilizing what you have learned to overcome the bad and hang on to the good. Our student base is predominantly women so I wanted to include heartbreak from a male perspective. This gives us an idea of how an every day guy views heartbreak, our actions, our responses and also their reaction to our prayers and devotion to them. SEEING IT THROUGH HIS EYES – by Michael D. Washam The idea of heartbreak is not just a phenomena experienced by women. Many of the same thoughts, doubts, concerns, and heartaches are experienced by men in breakups. This section will however address the subject of men so that the female partner can understand his role in the seven step process advocated in the Course. Many men are reluctant to discuss relationship and religious issues and this can be a serious problem in trying to find the miracle discussed in the course. I will try to address many of the issues faced by a woman in taking the steps in the course and in dealing with their male partner. Understanding men is one aspect of dealing with heartbreak and finding your miracle. The old adage among men is that the four most feared words coming from their partner’s mouth is “we need to talk” as it usually means a touchy feely intense time involving a lot of statements like “I’m sorry” whether the man really feels that way or not. As a result, the man not only fears this situation but often resents being put on the spot and the resulting actions he has to take to appease his partner. Probably the most important aspect of “we need to talk” is how did a couple get to this point in the first place. It could be anything from we never have any quality time, or you don’t show me any attention any more, or the more serious situation where the man is seeing someone else on the side.

In any event, to the woman

initiating the conversation, the situation is serious and obviously some unhappiness brought her to this point or she wouldn’t have made a special point of announcing “we need to talk”.

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The Do’s and Don’ts of “We Need to Talk”: Obviously my first advice is not to use the term or the method, “we need to talk” and instead find a time and place where the two of you can talk about things without the distractions of daily life, whether it be the telephone, the television, kids, pets, or any other distraction you might encounter. I equate the term, “We need to talk” the same as waving a red flag at a bull, with the bull charging, and the woman wondering why things didn’t work out in the conversation like she expected.

Men

are usually very simple creatures, they are with a woman because they want to be, because in a man’s world which tends to be what I’ll call practical, men tend to think in terms of, “I’m happy or I am not”. If they’re not happy they often leave or find cheating as an outlet when leaving is very complicated. That is not to say that men don’t consider many other factors, if they didn’t, the divorce rate would be even higher than it is. Men, and I use the term generically as it is difficult to encompass all men in one category just as it is to do the same with women, actually look at relationships through what I would term as “distracted vision”. Distracted vision involves men seeing and dealing with life and relationships through issues such as: work oriented pressures, image (macho, pride, etc.), monetary pressures, performance issues, intimacy factors, and the ability to function in various roles (i.e. boyfriend/husband, father/stepfather, boss/worker, etc.). You might say women deal with the same issues and that is a fair statement, but men take these issues to heart and they let them overshadow other concerns frequently. Remember that as liberated as women are these days; a man has had many years of socialization laying the responsibility on him for financial security, performance, and other male roles. These male roles come with a price as they all take time, energy and character to facilitate. Probably the least explained distraction I listed is the intimacy factor which could be considered the ability to deal with intimacy. In many families, parents exchange hugs and kisses between parents and children through their entire lives, while in others families this rarely if ever happens. Many times with men the affection was shown till the male child got into his teens years and he then suddenly considered the parental affection to be a threat to his liberty, independence, or manhood (fearing being considered a momma’s boy). More often then not, men have tended to shy away from such affection and then hormones

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reacquaint them to this activity as part of the mating ritual in their late teens. The problem is that it is so engrained in them that as the newness wears off, they often revert back to their old ways. The thought then becomes that intimacy often becomes foreplay for sex and not intimacy for intimacy, in and of itself. People have written books about this with one referring to women being from Venus and men from Mars. Now I probably made this a much simpler thought process than it really is, as I believe much of it is almost unnoticed to the average man so it ends up being an unconscious reaction to actions taken by the man’s partner. In effect, the man sees “we need to talk” as almost a threat to his way of life or minimally to his view of what is happening in the relationship. He probably didn’t notice the lack of attention on his part as he was too busy dealing with what he thought were more “important issues” through his distracted vision. Distracted vision can be equated to wearing eye glasses, some men see things 20/20, especially when everything is going great, while others see things 20/30 or worse depending not only upon how life is going, but also on the man’s orientation toward relationships. I would like to believe that a man’s distracted vision can be corrected to 20/20 through God, the lessons in the course, and through the man working with his partner in various areas that are important in a relationship.

Just

as with glasses, many people don’t know they have a vision problem until they start getting headaches from eyestrain or they can’t read something on a sign or chalk board, distracted vision is brought out by “we need to talk” or a malady with the relationship that points to a problem or heartache. The correction, just as in the choice of glasses, contacts, or refractive surgery, has to be personalized depending upon the situation and the circumstances and takes some prescriptive actions if it is going to succeed. Distracted vision has to be dealt with by both parties as a woman has to be aware of the approach she takes and able to guide her partner through the areas of the relationship that need work. A man has to be able to recognize the problem and obviously, be willing to do something about it. Often, as with an argument or a debate, one side doesn’t see the other side’s view until confronted with the facts. One of the major problems in a relationship is that “we need to talk” becomes an argument in which both sides say things they did not mean to. In some cases the things were exaggerated or down right hurtful and in other cases they could have

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been discussed calmly and a mutually agreed upon solution reached. We have all walked away from one those sessions hurt or upset but often times realizing that something was said that struck home because like it or not, it was true and could have been corrected had we realized it. The key to any discussion of problems in a relationship is to accomplish getting to the facts without wanting to kill each other or destroying a relationship you intended to foster. One of the questions that frequently face women in heartbreak is why would a man leave me and immediately begin seeing another woman or worse yet, why would he cheat on me with another woman? The answer to this question obviously varies with the man, but there are some common reasons that need to be aired for the purpose of understanding men. Men are action takers; they have been raised that way their whole lives. They are expected to find a job, work, get married, and raise kids. Often the children aspect is less a concern than it is with women who have parents expecting the first grandchild, but frequently for men it is still an expectation. They have been trained to go out and seize life, making decisions, often paying the consequences, and then living with that decision.

It is a known fact that men,

unlike women, rarely attempt suicide; they actually do it as they also take that decision and make it with determination. In relationships, men are expected to be the driving force and as a result usually take the first move. They also frequently take the first move when a relationship is going bad and often see the grass greener on the other side. Many a divorced man will say in a frank moment that in looking back that the action he took was bad but he felt that he was trapped or an opportunity knocked and he grabbed it (or her). In reality the man was unhappy with the relationship but either refused or was unable to correct the problem. Part of the problem is dealing with “we need to talk” situations and it coming down to the man always being considered wrong and the woman considered right because if he really said what he thought a major argument or fight would occur. Men, as brave as they might sometimes be, are scared of those confrontations and would rather have a shaky peace than an outright war. That’s not to say they won’t fight because in some cases they will, but frequently the war ends up turning into something worse than a shaky peace. In some cases couples build what I call a “demilitarized zone” which ends up being areas or topics

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of conversation that neither will broach as they know it will lead to war as both sides will not bend. Why another woman? Many men will not live or function without a woman in their lives, both psychologically and from an image stand point. So when opportunity knocks, they take advantage of it hoping that things will be different and that an emptiness will be filled. That emptiness often is part of a bad relationship where the man couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t express his concerns or if he did, they were ignored. This is not to say that the man is at all right in finding another woman, but it often explains why men jump from one relationship to another. Men often get disillusioned with their partners over some of the same things as women. Frequently lack of attention is a cause. Often it is the opposite when the woman places demands upon the man that he cannot handle whether it be from an intimacy/sexual standpoint or whether it be in his multiple roles as father/husband/bread winner. Men often complain that their partner doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take care of herself like she once did, meaning she gained some weight or doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dress or make herself up like she used to. Of course, the other side of the coin is the demands upon a woman in taking care of a household, children, often a job, and all the sundry things that follow. Counselors often mention to couples that the first child will leave the man feeling that he is the odd man out with the wife being mainly concerned with the new baby. This is a good example of a situation where the man may stray or become disillusioned with the relationship because to broach the subject might make him look petty or worse yet, an uncaring father. Now I have to add one more insight and that is men have been compared with dogs. They sometimes stray because the gate is open and they wanted to. Not because of anything the woman did but because the man feels some urge to for excitement, newness, or intrigue. This situation has been especially documented in men going into their forties when you see them divorce; buy a sports car, and all of sudden live the life of a playboy. The absolute best thing I can say to a woman is that she probably did nothing wrong in this case but is dealing with a situation that may be hormone/ego related and literally has to be worked out by the individual man. Obviously some men never hit this phase and may find solace in taking up a new sport, buying a boat, or even a sports car, but not ending a relationship. In some of these cases the woman was cognizant of giving the man a little freedom and letting

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him play out a reasonable urge that would fit into or even facilitate their relationship. You would be surprised how invigorated a man will feel about a sports car or some new freedom and how it changes his attitude. Of course that isn’t always an option or the urge for that matter, but realizing the problem exists might be half the solution. Men also tend to be somewhat less enthusiastic about religion and referring to God. That is not to say that they don’t believe in him or even pray, but they often are unwilling to talk about their relationship with him to another. Even their partner might find this an area where the demilitarized zone is hit. My best advice is very much like that with the broaching of any subject that revolves around the relationship and that is “we need to talk” will often be a turn-off. Remember that men are taught not to be weak and often asking for help is thought to be a sign of weakness so this area often has to be approached more gingerly than most. Many men were brought up in a Christian manner and left that life due to the rigors of working, the military, or other distractions. They know they should worship the Lord but they have let it go for so long that they are somewhat threatened by the topic. No one wants to be a hypocrite and men often see themselves in the position of either going totally into a relationship with God or staying out of it to avoid hypocrisy. The scripture 1 John 4:24 states that “God is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth”. Men take this approach as they often feel inadequate to call upon God and often will only seek his help when in dire need. I believe that a woman who is taking the steps listed in this course has to insure that she doesn’t push too hard but rather facilitates the man realizing that he needs to establish a relationship with God. That relationship is between him and the Lord and should be allowed to develop based upon the woman partner showing a good example and an openness to talk about the subject. The last thing a man wants is to be preached to as if he is a child or worse yet, a failure. In many cases he knows and has known what is expected of him both in his domestic relationship and in his relationship with God. Giving him support and even an opportunity at the right moment to talk about it might be the best thing that can happen. Encouraging him to attend church with you might be a start and might facilitate opening the topic of both your relationship with him and his relationship with God.

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I have talked about men and would like to tell you that this advice is all knowing but in reality God will show you the way you must go. The hardest part of achieving a miracle is not knowing exactly what it will be. As the course has illustrated, your miracle might be the guy you long for to come back or maybe there is another man that is much more deserving of your love once you realize God’s purpose. I have also not tried to paint a macho untouchable picture of men as most men want a solid relationship with their mate and with God. They just get busy with worldly things and often take both for granted. The woman who can recognize the problems and guide her man in the right direction is doing both him and herself a great service. Change is a never ending part of life and people do change only it often takes time and some influence. No one should enter a relationship with the intent of changing a person. Frequently women do and the man or the relationship end up being a disappointment. Having expectations is good and realizing that life is much like a roller coaster in that it has its ups and downs should be anticipated. The common cliché that “no pain, no gain” somewhat explains what we deal with as life has its bad moments and it has its good moments. The key to a successful relationship is smoothing out the bumps by dealing with them as a couple and not using them as a reason to fight or abandon the ship. In Romans 8:28 the bible states “.. we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”. Your purpose in God’s view might be to lead others to him by your actions or your influence so always be cognizant that the actions you take can have major impact on your male partner either to alienate him further or to bring him closer to both you and God. In some cases your miracle could come because of those actions and I don’t believe anyone wants to miss it. My wife has been the strength in our relationship as she has been the mainstay when it comes to God. She prays constantly and we have had some of those conversations that I spoke of. In some cases the conversation went in the direction of God not because she proclaimed “we need to talk” because I, like other men, find this a frontal assault. We have dealt with some very tough times and the one thing that I know I can count on is her faith. I have faith, but mine pales in comparison. She

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has prayed when I’m depressed and when I have had real problems to deal with. I have never doubted that God does answer her prayers. Her strength often gives me strength though I frequently will not admit it. I believe that this is the guidance that I have spoken earlier about. My faith in God is much stronger because of her faith. Now that does not mean that everything goes totally smoothly as we are human and we don’t often know what God’s will is. More than once she has told me that I need to be still and I would find out what his will is. I believe she is right though it is often difficult to do at times. I encourage you to take the seven steps seriously and try to avoid doubting as much as possible as I do believe that God will reveal his methods at the most appropriate time. KEEP ON KEEPING ON Well, you have completed the seven steps of the Course in Heartbreak. The steps were designed to guide you through the levels of learning you will encounter as you surrender yourself and your will to God. How fast you get your miracle depends on you & God. Everyone of us is different but if you apply the steps you have learned, continue reading the bible and seeking wisdom when it comes to understanding God’s word you are guaranteed to receive a miracle. Be sure to leave your heart open to what God has for you and one thing you must know is that our miracles do not always come wrapped in the packaging we ask for. Sometimes the wrapping is so different that unless our hearts are in tune with God we may miss our blessing. Keep in mind that you are human and even the most faithful of the Lords followers have doubted and felt abandon at one time or another, when you feel a storm brewing reach out to your HBU family, we are always there for you. When you picked up this book you were broken and on your knees, by the time you have completed and absorbed the seventh step you will be moving towards wholeness and a life unlike anything you have ever known. You may have felt like a nobody but now you are somebody you are His daughter or maybe His son and as such, you are entitled to His blessings and gifts.

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ONCE THE MIRACLE COMES The miracle will come when you least expect it and take your breath away. After you have received it you will want to know how to nurture and keep it forever. The last thing you want to do is find yourself back at square one and it is easy to forget all you have learned once you get what you have prayed for. When you have developed a sincere relationship with God you will never be able to move forward without Him. Seeking His guidance and advice every step of the way will be a natural instinct and a wise one. Sometimes after you have received your miracle you will catch yourself acting or reacting the way you did in the past, be sure to pray each day that God will show you your own faults and will help you change yourself. The rule still applies, the only way to change another person is to change yourself first. The changes in you leave the other person no choice but to change. For those that need to wait a bit longer, remember that everything happens in God’s perfect time. He knows when you have been refined and will never leave you in the fire longer than necessary. Apply your new faith and the patience you have and TRUST that the answer is on its way. How do you know? Because your faith tells you so and faith is the substance of things hoped for, that means true faith is the only kind of faith acceptable before God which will TRIUMPH in the WORST of situations and perseveres in testing. In closing, I want to tell you to simply believe. Don’t analyze don’t question just believe. If your heart is pulling you in another direction, remember that is where Jesus lives, be obedient to His guidance and don’t fear what He has for you, He will never disappoint you…never. Just believe! CONTINUING YOUR STUDIES The Course in Heartbreak doesn’t end with the last pages of this book, it is an ongoing lesson and you are encouraged to take advantage of the interactive features offered on the HBU web site. You are a lifetime member and an automatic member of the alumni. You will receive updates and additions to the course as part of your enrollment. You’ll be notified by e-mail of upcoming meetings which include, support,

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prayer, seminar, and bible studies and don’t forget the coaches are just a phone call away. It is imperative that you continue studying your bible for it is in the pages of His word that you will surly find the answers your heart seeks even after your miracle has come. I look forward to spending time with you and strongly encourage you to use the support features available to you always. FINAL EXERCISE In e-mail or MS WORD, write an essay about your journey including the 7-steps you have learned. Use your God Book or journal for a reference. Write the story as if you were telling it to a best friend, put your heart into it as it is your testimony. E-mail your essay to Shell@heartbreakuniversity.org. ** Upon receipt of your essay you will receive a Certificate of Completion in the mail display it proudly as you can be proud to be a survivor and over comer of one of life’s most traumatizing events…heartbreak. Something to meditate on: When I say I am Christian When I say . . I am a Christian, I'm not shouting "I am saved." I'm whispering "I get lost", that is why I chose this way. When I say . . I am a Christian, I don't speak of this with pride I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide. When I say . . I am a Christian, I'm not trying to be strong I'm professing that I am weak, and pray for strength to carry on. When I say . . I am a Christian, I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed, and cannot ever pay the debt When I say . . I am a Christian, I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are too visible, but God believes I'm worth it.

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When I say . . I am a Christian, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, which is why I seek HIS name. When I say . . I am a Christian, I do not wish to judge. I have no authority, I only know I'm loved. -Author Unknown

WHEN GOD MOVED THE HEAVENS FOR ME… So many times we hear stories of how God manifested Himself in other people’s lives and we wonder if He’ll do the same in ours. We read testimonies and articles that tell us about amazing ways other people came into their answer and we feel a little envious because our miracle hasn’t come. I was one of those people and I wanted more than anything for God to bless me with restoration of my relationship. I like to think that I experienced the worst heartbreak in world history, it came so quickly and with no warning, one minute everything was fine and the next life the way I knew it was changed forever. At the time I would never have believed that God was going to use that awful pain to create something good, I had no idea about the journey I was about to take and the blessings I was going to receive. All that would change. I had been living in Delaware with my then fiancé when we decided we were going to relocate to Florida where my parents lived. My fiancé and I had been together for almost three years and he had just asked me the month prior to marry him. He presented me with a beautiful two karat diamond ring and we began making plans. Over the three years that he and I were together his mother adamantly refused to acknowledge her son’s growing up. She often accused me of taking her baby away from her and constantly interfered in our relationship. He never did anything to defend me and out of fear of being alone for the rest of my life I tolerated it. I was so scared that if he left me I would never find another man who would love me, so I gave him my entire heart and devoted myself to pleasing him. I loved him more than air and couldn’t think of a time when I had ever loved anyone more. My whole life revolved around his every move but it seemed that no matter how hard I tried nothing I did was ever good enough for him or his mother.

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After visiting my parents in Florida at Easter, I begged him to consider moving down, he didn’t need much persuasion as he loved it as much as it and when we returned to Delaware we began making plans to relocate. We were traveling to Florida in June of 1999 to find a home and he was gong to apply for a few jobs while we were down. On June 16, 1999 I flew to Florida with my children with the intentions of picking my fiancé up that Friday. We were all so excited about the mini-vacation and the upcoming move. I spoke to him on the phone several times the evening I arrived in Florida and several times the next day, I was due to pick him up the day after and he expressed his excitement at coming during our phone call early that afternoon. We made arrangements for me to call him at seven o’clock that night and after trying unsuccessfully for hours I began to worry. A mutual friend of ours was speaking to me online and reassured me that he was probably just out with the guys enjoying his freedom for the evening but by eleven o’clock I was frantic, he would never not call and make me worry. Little did I know that life was about to change. At eleven nineteen at night on June 17, 1999 the phone rang and it was him, now keep in mind, we weren’t arguing nor did we have any serious problems that some couples have. I answered the phone and it was him, I breathed a sigh of relief and asked him where he had been. “Michele, I’m not coming tomorrow”, he said. “What do you mean you’re not coming, what’s wrong, did something happen?” I replied. I don’t think I fully understood what he was saying to me until his next sentence. “I don’t love you anymore, I don’t want children and you need to come back and get your stuff out of the house because I am letting it go” with that, he hung up and I wouldn’t hear from him for some 4 months. The last time I saw him was the day I left for Florida when he hugged and kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me, I never saw him again. Not even to this day. Repeated attempts to call him back were in vain. The caller ID had shown he was calling from his mothers house and I knew she was involved in what had just happened. At that moment, I hated her with such an intensity that I can’t describe it. I felt like the room was spinning and I woke my parents up, they were equally shocked at what he had done and my father tried to call but his calls were ignored also. I didn’t sleep at all that first night I cried harder than I ever had in my life. The

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pain I was feeling was so intense that I thought it would kill me. Thank God the kids had gone to their father’s house because I couldn’t deal with them at that point. Very early the next morning my father made arrangements to fly me back to Delaware where he and two of my friends packed and loaded my entire home and car onto a U-haul truck. I don’t remember one single bit of it. I didn’t eat, I didn’t drink, I didn’t sleep…I was dying and without realizing it, I truly wanted too. The only thing I can remember from that trip was a presence of some kind constantly near me, I hurt so bad that I would just close my eyes and when I did I saw angel next to me. Was this my guardian angel? I felt like I was unconscious and the only time I was able to deal with the pain was when I closed my eyes and lay my head on that angels shoulder, it was always there when I closed my eyes and I felt just the tiniest stirrings of hope but didn’t understand them. When I arrived back in Florida my father and mother took me in and nurtured me. my mother went out of her way for me and took care of my children when I couldn’t. To be totally honest I don’t remember the kids even being there. My dad built me a small office next to his and encouraged me to work but there was no chance. I had notified all of my client’s and told them I was dealing with a personal crisis and wouldn’t be available to work for a while. I had literally lost my will to live. I had never felt pain like what I was experiencing and the only way I could think to end it was to end my life. It was over for me. On June 24, 1999 I decided to leave life behind me, I walked into my parent’s kitchen and found my mom baking me cookies that I wouldn’t eat, I hadn’t eaten anything in almost a week and I was feeling the effects, I was weak and tired but couldn’t even think of food, instead I decided I was going to end the pain. As I was leaving the kitchen, I told my mom I was going for a walk on the beach and gave her a hug and thanked her for all she was doing. In reality, I was saying goodbye. My mother looked right into my eyes and said seven words I will never forget, “The answer will only come from heaven”. Did she know what I was about to do? I walked down onto the beach that was adjacent to the Port of Palm Beach and my intention was to just keep walking until there was no more ground and only ocean beneath me. I was ready to die. About twenty-five yards from the edge I veered off the pier and walked out onto the beach, it was dusk and the beach was deserted

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which was fine with me because I couldn’t stand to deal with people right then. I walked about a fourth of a mile and sat down in the sand and the flood of emotions came forward, I had no idea Who God was but I looked out over the ocean and I literally cried out to Him. “Oh Dear God, if there is a God, please…please help me. I will do anything you want me to do but please take this pain from me, please make him love me, make him come back”, I sat there on that beach and sobbed and just begged God, the same God I didn’t know to please reach down and help me overcome this horrible pain. Now, the Bible talks about a time when God will plant that mustard seed of faith in your heart. For those that don’t know, a mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds but grows into one of the largest trees. I stood up and dusted the sand off of my body and that’s when it happened. I felt the seed of faith planted in my heart and with it hope and with the hope just the tiniest shimmer of faith. My head filled with words, His words; “I will bless you with all your heart seeks if you learn what I have to teach you”. For the first time in my life, I actually heard God speak to me. He had gotten my attention…finally. On June 24, 1999 my life started over. To make a long story short I spent the next eleven months studying, researching, writing and learning about The One who gave the miracles. I learned about having a relationship with Him and I went through the stormy seas determined to understand what it was I needed to do to receive His blessing and the miracle. I went through all of the steps but had to redo them at times and the whole time I was learning I was believing (The seas would have been less stormy had I simply trusted Him). Oh I had doubt at times and wanted to give up when the answer didn’t appear, but as time went on I learn3ed that God was still teaching me and I wasn’t ready for the miracle yet. I believed with all of my heart and at times I thought I could hear God telling me that He had something much better if I just trusted Him. I ignored him and kept my focus on my lost love, after all, what could be better? At the end of the eleventh month of my journey I was still standing for my relationship with my fiancé, I didn’t care if his mother hated me and he never stuck up for me or that I was the bread winner and head of the household, all I knew was that when I was with him, I felt loved. That was not love. He needed to change before I could go back. I began praying to God for him too and one evening our mutual friend who was living in Florida now came over and told me he had some bad

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news. My fiancé was moving in with another woman and she had children!! I was floored and completely devastated. I went into my room and shut the door and fell on my knees and cried harder than I have ever cried in my life. I asked god “Why?”, I had faith, I believed I stood strong and learned all He was teaching me AND I delighted in Him. I was so exhausted from learning and praying that I lay there on my bedroom floor and finally, after eleven months, placed it completely in His hands. That night I told God that I was too tired to pray for my lost love anymore, I told Him that if he was coming back to please send him and if he wasn’t meant to be and God had someone else to please send him. I couldn’t stand the loneliness any more, I had isolated myself for one year, literally isolated myself. I told God he would have to send this per to ME because I never went out or socialized. I left it at that and for the next two weeks felt nothing but peace. God had BIG plans for sending my miracle. Around the same time that I learned of my ex and his new woman I began a very controversial and dangerous project. I was asked to design a web site exposing corruption. God works in funny ways. Within days of my launching this web site I began receiving death threats. I had to make a decision and contact someone in law enforcement. I had been told and seen proof that many of the local officers were either a friend of those involved or would cover up the corruption.

I ultimately made a decision on what to do and called a large

agency’s headquarters. I was told that I would be called back by a local supervisor and assured that he was not tied to any corruption in the area. I spoke to the local supervisor and ultimately had several very lengthy conversations with someone that appeared both friendly and caring. Upon hanging up the telephone each time, I noticed that I had the “warm fuzzies” about him. I thought I was loosing my mind as he was much older and a cop. I figured I had been without a man in my life too long and called my friend Sandra in Maryland to tell her about this experience. Sandra didn’t hesitate, she blurted out “He’s your future husband”, I told her she was loosing her mind. I spent the next three days daydreaming. The day I met him was bitter sweet. part of me was totally intrigued with the fact that I was actually meeting with him for the first time and the other felt like I was betraying my ex fiancé, Sandra put things into perspective for me. She reminded me that I hadn’t talked to my ex fiancé in almost a year and that I should be at peace and go and meet my future husband. She was so crazy! I agreed to meet him that

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evening and actually didn’t cancel as I had several times before. I prayed that God would guide me and help me know if what I was doing was right…the peace was incredible and as I was leaving my development right before my very eyes, God gave me the sign that He knows I take as a serious sign from Heaven. A rainbow appeared. That was His special sign to me from when I was little. Everything was going to be alright. I arrived at the meeting place and felt like throwing up because I was so nervous. He pulled up and when he got out of his car he took my breath away. He was nothing like I would have chosen in the past but he was so incredible! If this man had wings attached to his backside he could have been an angel. I knew the second I laid eyes on him that he was my miracle. God sent me an angel. Mike would go on to tell me that he would never have chosen me in the past either, but he said there was just something about me. To make a long story short, on January 3, 2003 we eloped and were married in New Orleans, he planned a perfect French Quarter wedding. I got my angel and my miracle. After I met Mike I asked God why He had allowed me to keep standing in faith for my ex- fiancé if He wasn’t going to send him back. God answered by letting me know it was through the stand for my ex that God drew me closer, He then told me that He didn’t give me what I wanted, He gave me what I needed. I loved my ex because I needed him, I need Mike because I love him. God lived up to His promise to always give us back more than what we lose, Mike was not only handsome and kind but he is the head of our house and most importantly, he is a believer. So you see, when you least expect it God will send you His very best. All it takes is faith and hope and most importantly, trust. God bless you and keep you while you wait for your miracle.

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