Stupid, Cupid!

Students share romantic encounters that will not pull your heartstrings.

BY LAUREN KEY | DESIGN BY RACHEL RECTOR

Valentine’s Day calls for social media timelines to be infiltrated by what appear to be young, happy couples satisfied in their relationships. The truth –embarrassingly candid relationship experiences – lies beneath the surface of the photos.

Rather than celebrating conventional and comfortable stories of attachment this holiday, celebrate the awkward and painful stories that come to be bittersweet reflections.

In an attempt to humble those who seem to have found a perfect partner and humor those who have not, numerous young adults such as Alyssa Sheets, a freshman studying interior architecture, have come forward to share the truth about their shots at romance.

Sheets, who has struggled to be vulnerable in romantic situations of the past, admits that all of her first kisses have not exactly been like the movies. “I’ve definitely kissed somebody’s chin,” Sheets says. “[They all] took forever to happen, and it was just a tiny peck.”

While her first kisses might have been disappointing, they were not always dealbreakers. Continuing to pursue what would come to be a complicated relationship, Sheets explains a situation with an individual who was at first a friend. “She ended up leading me on for a really long time,” Sheets says. “Ultimately our friendship didn’t work out because the relationship didn’t work out.”

Like many other young adults figuring out the dating scene ,Sheets discovered the difficulty of maintaining a friendship with someone after having attempted a relationship with them. Overcoming these setbacks, however, has taught her to rely on herself rather than a partner.

Recognizing that there is not a universal answer for how to get over someone, Sheets says the best way to recover from heartbreak is forcing yourself to realize that you will be okay without that person.

Such a mentality can be rendered almost impossible due to the presence of social media, which can lead individuals to harshly compare their lifestyles, relationship status and overall happiness in what people believe defines their self-worth.

Providing a testament to this perspective is Jenna Bowers, a first-year graduate student studying educational leadership, who has experienced the pressures of a romantic approach to self-fulfillment. Bowers found a solution to combat this negative influence. The answer: deleting social media.

Throughout her time on platforms like Instagram, Bowers began to recognize the power that people unconsciously give up while being expected to share the details of their lives and, at the same time, analyzing others on the internet.

In removing the source that caused Bowers to question her path, she came to realize that “there is nothing wrong with being single.” Bowers has been expressing to those who are not dependent on a partner to simply make the most of their independence and remember what does not work out was not meant to be.

Also identifying the danger of social media intake is Ryan Grzybowski, a senior studying photojournalism. As a photographer, Grzybowski is tasked with the obstacle of capturing a perfect moment, one in which he sees people pose for with unrealistic intention.

“I know that an image is only a fraction of a second,” Grzybowski says. “I see people fake laughing.” This knowledge, along with the pursuit of his passions, enables Grzybowski to discern the truth from his screen and acknowledge that he does not need another person to fill his cup.

Like his subjects, Grzybowski has also found himself in romantic relationships, some being unhealthy. A challenging facet of unsuccessful relationships that Grzyboswki has had to accept is the guilt that follows the seemingly wasted time and energy.

This feeling of shame is often overlooked in a society that settles for less to curb loneliness; however, some learn from tolerating disrespect and acknowledge situations harmful to their growth.

Ultimately, countless lessons have been learned from people’s most regretful moments in relationships. For Sheets, losing a friend due to a failed relationship meant finally embracing her sexuality. “I was in denial for a really long time,” Sheets says. “I was trying to suppress it.”

Grzybowski, who was relieved to have a relationship with a partner who shared his same creative endeavors, learned that “just because you work on paper [with someone] doesn’t mean you’re going to work out in the long run.” He recognizes that sometimes, it is healthier to “build a network of emotional support” rather than solely relying on a partner.

Others, such as Bowers, have uncovered the cornerstone of a lasting relationship: confronting a problem head-on rather than sweeping it under the rug. “Honesty is the best thing that you can offer,” Bowers says. The principle decreases the potential of worse feelings that can cloud judgment with a partner.

As three students’ stories share hope, others may be able to relate or even be saved from an unnecessary romantic investment. “You’re not guaranteed a person your entire life,” Bowers says. b