HOLIDAY SEASON’S BEST FASHION TRENDS

6Shackets

UGLY Sweaters Don’t argue with me on this one. Ugly holiday sweat-Must-Try ers will never go out of style — in this season of course. HOliday Trends These tacky, gaudy and beautiful creations are your one chance to embrace your inner weirdo and no one can make fun of you for it. Ugly holiday sweaters come in an infinite number of styles, allowing you to really find by Janani Sundar the one that speaks to your inner soul. For example, the Editor-in-Chief one I have has a stuffed reindeer sticking out of it, and I love it. So, if you see someone skipping down State St. with a reindeer sticking out of their shirt, don’t forget to say hi. When in doubt of what to wear to a holiday party, you can wear these sweaters with no questions asked. Velvet Jumpsuits

SHOP THIS LOOK AT KOHL’S FOR $34.99.

SHOP THIS LOOK AT ABERCROMBIE & FITCH FOR $120.

Sweater Vests

It’s a shirt. (Cue pillow pet song). It’s a jacket. It’s a shacket. Yes, that is what they’re called. Shackets are all the rage these days with everyone and their grandma wearing them. Shackets combine both the comfort and look of a good old flannel shirt with the warmth of a jacket. These closet staples save you the time of needing to find additional outerwear components to keep you warm. Rather, they allow you to flaunt your perfect outfit without being covered by a clunky parka or puffer jacket. Plus, they come in a variety of colors and styles with cropped, oversized and trench. They are also incredibly versatile in what they can be paired with in that you can pair them with literally anything — jeans, leggings, leather pants or even sweatpants.

Before you leave this article, hear me out on this one. I’m not talking about those prep school uniform sweater vests that five year old boys wear. I’m talking about cute ones that you can pair with a collared or mock neck long sleeves. If you’re really daring and willing to embrace the cold of Wisconsin winters, you can wear them by themselves. These also come in a variety of styles and patterns. There is the cropped look but also the oversize fit if that floats your boat. Obviously, there is the traditional argyle print, but there are also plenty of other cute prints such as florals, fair isle or my personal favorite, houndstooth.

SHOP THIS LOOK AT NORDSTROM FOR $19.50.

COWL NECKS

I’m not going to pretend like mock and cowl necks are a hot new trend. Heck, I had a cowl neck sweater in high school, but they are making a more prominent comeback. As someone who always felt suffocated by turtlenecks, mock and cowl necks were the perfect compromise. Just for clarification, mock necks are like turtlenecks but are not as high up and lay closer to your collarbone. Cowl necks have the same amount of fabric as turtlenecks in a sense but are more loose and lay around your neck kind of like a scarf. Speaking of scarves, both of these options save you from needing to carry an additional item of clothing in the winter if your neck gets cold. Mock and cowl necks are common in sweaters but that isn’t the only option if you are looking to sport this trend. There are fashionable mock neck bodysuits or even mock neck tees which are incredibly versatile that can spruce up an outfit without drawing attention away from the rest of the elements.

SHOP THESE LOOKS AT EXPRESS FOR $114.80 AND ABERCROMBIE & FITCH FOR $112, RESPECTIVELY.

Matching Sets

Matching sets have made a comeback in the last year or two. While these come in plenty of varieties, the ones I’m talking about are specifically for the holiday season. Matching sets save you the time of having to pick a top and bottom separately. If you’re someone who likes to get really dressed up for holiday parties, there are gorgeous top and midi skirt or pant sets decked out in holiday colored sequins. If you’re someone who is more muted with their style, don’t worry — I have something for you as well. Matching sets come in lovely ribbed sweater combinations of long sleeved tops and midi or mini skirts or fitting crop tops with wide legged pants. If you want to go really crazy and look super put together, there are even three piece sets with a tank top and skirt and a cute cardigan. And if you’re someone who prefers to stay in for the holidays, I have something for you, too. Several retailers sell comfy, cozy lounging around matching sets with a sweatshirt and joggers or pullover sweaters and wide leg pants that you can wear around the house like pajamas or wear out without being accused of being in your pajamas.

Velvet is the signature material of the holidays, and I’m not complaining because 98% of the time, velvet is pretty comfortable. I’m a firm believer that one can never go wrong with a good jumpsuit. Though the functionality of going to the bathroom is limited, they are still such slay pieces of fashion. Navy, forest green and holiday red velvet are beautiful this time around and are just the right amount of glitz and glimmer to not wash you out. While velvet jumpsuits are somewhat specific, that doesn’t mean there aren’t options for you to find your style within the category. There are so many different sleeve patterns from strapless to spaghetti straps or even halter and necklines from sweetheart to wrap to plunging. There are even velvet jumpsuits with cute cutouts if you want to show some skin this holiday season. A velvet jumpsuit with a rocking pair of heels is the perfect girl boss outfit. And if you’re someone who prefers to stay in for the holidays, I have something for you, too. Several retailers sell comfy, cozy lounging around matching sets with a sweatshirt and joggers or pullover sweaters and wide leg pants that you can wear around the house like pajamas or wear out without being accused of being in your pajamas.

AUDREY THIBERT. THE BADGER HERALD.

Struggling to find a gift for the most random person ever to enter your life? Never fear, Sexperts, The, have your back.

Hot Girl Gift List

What to get these special people in your life

by Sexperts, The Two Important Editors

Selecting the right gifts can be hard, and online gift lists all repeat the same five items over and over. Here’s a comprehensive gift guide for those tough-to-buy-for people in your life.

Situationship

There are two different routes you can take here — one for each person on either side of every situationship.

For the person who is secretly infatuated with their situationship, who tries not to say “I love you” every time their partner walks out the door and who never shuts up about their situationship to their friends — don’t do what you want to do.

Don’t come up with a gift that has a ton of sentimental value — you’re coming on too strong, just as you feared. Your situationship is avoidant, and you are anxious.

What you really want to do is get them an experience gift. That experience is therapy. Leave them and send them to a therapy session.

And for the person who is oblivious — or denies — that the other side of their situationship wants to date them, you have a couple options.

You could buy them something terrible — I mean something so terrible they should want to stop seeing you. They won’t listen to the blaring red flag, I promise, but get them something without value to obsess over. They will think about any sort of sentimental meaning behind gifts for weeks. To be honest, maybe you should just not get them anything at all.

OR, you could get them something perfect. This is a miracle situation, because this would have to mean that you found love for them somewhere in your cold, noncommittal heart. Congrats, I hope to get an invite to your wedding.

Roommate you don’t speak to

Box of post-it notes, each one with a different thing you dislike about them/living with them. Below are some examples (from experience):

You shit your pants too much

You sleep with banana peels in your bed with you

You steal my clothes

You have never bought toilet paper

Why not continue the no-talk streak? This way you can passive aggressively call out your shitty roommate.

Hot TA

Envelope labeled “important documents.” Inside that, a smaller envelope. Inside that, a piece of paper. On the paper, a link to a Google Doc. On the Google Doc, a collage of 75 of your sexiest, most thirst trap pictures. No money spent. It’s a win-win.

Landlord

A big fat “Fuck you.” This could take many forms: 300 maintenance requests submitted all at once

Stop paying rent (they won’t actually evict you)

Steal your own packages and gaslight them into thinking their security is really bad

Fill their office with 400 balloons

Fish in air vent

Yourself

Vibrator. Everyone deserves an orgasm. Period.

Your boss

Buy your boss a $3 lottery ticket. They probably aren’t paying you enough, so why should you spend any of your hard-earned money on them?

To be nice to them, give them hope that they could win some actual money from your gift. Hopefully they don’t, because you deserved that shit. But if they get $10, maybe they’ll give you a little extra bonus in the New Year!

Your best friend who already owns everything under the Sun

Liquor. Hard liquor. If you’re of age, of course. If you’re not, get them some coloring books or something.

Your significant other’s parents

Liquor. Hard liquor. That’s what they’re going to need after spending time with you over the holidays.

White elephant or secret Santa

Everyone wants the best gift during a white elephant exchange — including you. Get whatever you need around the house so everyone passes on it, and you get to take that home instead of some weird pair of socks.

For secret Santa, it depends on if you like the person you got. If not, they’ll never know it was you if you buy them a gift card to Chili’s with the wrong amount written on the back. If you like them, get them something amazing and tell them it was you after the fact.

Your mom

Wrap me up and put me under the tree, baby. Or like a handwritten letter in a frame saying how much you love her could be cute.

AUDREY THIBERT.. THE BADGER HERALD.

Point-counterpoint: Starship robots

Point: Starship? More like StarSHIT Counterpoint: Starship robots = school culture

by Audrey Thibert Managing Editor

We have all seen them — the creepy, white, bug-like robots that roll around campus from dorm to dorm, getting in the way of students on their way to classes throughout their trips. Some think they are “cute” or “efficient.” But au contraire.

In economic terms, there are more negative externalities than positive externalities when it comes to these contraptions. In other words, THEY CAUSE MORE HARM THAN GOOD. For a Starshit trip to be successful, there must be perfect weather, no traffic and a short distance to travel. Never have I seen a day in Madison where these are all true at the same time.

Intellectuals and dunces can agree — these robots are far from efficient. They stop foot traffic and car traffic (safety hazard), they can never keep food warm, they prolong wait times and they are legitimately stupid. Not to mention you cannot order drinks without spillage because of all the start and stop from these idiot bots.

Here I have listed a scenario that embodies the Starshit robot.

Picture this, you are hungry in your dorm. It’s cold and snowy outside, so it seems like a good idea to order using the Starshit robot. You open the app to order a sandwich. Of course, all the robots are busy right now. You wait 30 minutes, growing hungrier by the second. Finally, a robot is available. You order your food. You wait. And wait. And wait. Where is the robot? It has been at the corner of Park and Dayton for 13 minutes. What the hell is it doing there? You are hangry now. You put your coat on and trudge into the wilderness to see what is going on.

Upon arriving at Park and Dayton, you see that (surprise surprise) your robot has lodged itself into a snowbank. At this point, you are ravenous. You just wanted a sandwic, and now your sandwich is lodged in a snowbank. You pull the robot out of the snowbank and walk back toward your dorm to wait for it because you can’t open the robot to get your food until it has arrived at its destination. When the robot (which had to wait at every street and walkway) eventually arrives, you open the capsule and pull your cold, soggy, sandwich out. Worth the hassle? I think not.

Ultimately, there is not even a question of if these robots are cute — they are not. It is not a question of if they are efficient — they are not. It is not even a question of if they are funny — they are not. It is a question of if they are a nuisance to the University of Wisconsin community — they are.

Listen, Starship robots (SRs) are controversial. I get it, I really do. But what people don’t understand is that they are necessary — not for delivering food but for campus culture.

Whoever is ordering food from SRs probably shouldn’t have made it into the University of Wisconsin. Walk, bus, bike — do whatever you have to do to get to your food not via a Starship.

You should know that a robot that has to cross a street and stop abruptly will not get you your food intact or in time. And drinks? I mean, come on.

That being said, I am certain the little white robots and their orange flags are a top contributor to UW’s top rankings for university culture. SRs are multipurpose robots, and I will outline these purposes below.

Firstly, Starships are essential for teaching freshmen how to walk. If an SR is annoying you by disrupting your walking patterns, you should ask yourself if you are any different from the robot.

Do you hesitate before stepping into a crosswalk? Do you fail to anticipate the light changing to walk? Do you take awkward pathways through traffic? Do you walk down the middle of the sidewalk?

The answer to all of those questions is probably yes, and you are most certainly not as cute as an SR.

Nobody can compare to the cuteness of an SR. I would rather watch that little guy cross the street than Beyoncé or Miles Teller any day of the week. They aren’t bug-like — they look like a combination of Eve and Wall-E. How could that not be cute?!

Therefore, an SR can get away with crossing the street in a non-efficient manner. Even though they slightly disrupt foot traffic, you can literally just walk around them. And who has ever heard of a Starship getting hit by a car? They hesitate way too much to disrupt car traffic.

Besides, the real hazards are not SRs — they are people. People who throw SRs down flights of concrete stairs and kidnap them to other countries are the problem. Leave them alone!!! They are just here to be helpful and cute and not for you to endlessly bully.

How could you bully something that thanks people for helping it out of a snowbank or that screams when it gets pushed down stairs? There is a special place in hell for those who torment SRs, and I mean that.

Can SRs deliver food? No. But Starships are cute. They teach freshmen how to walk. They make me, and many others, smile when they walk down the sidewalk. These robots are completely necessary for the culture at this university, and that cannot be denied.

by Caroline Crowley Managing Editor