ISSUE
#46
Parenting Support $5.00
A quarterly publication of T&T Innovative Parenting Support
Apr - Jun 2009
Amanda and Christalia Ballantyne
Everyone’s moral responsiblity (Pg 6,7)
Campaign “Making People” Campaign Information
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n contemporary societies the question of how to raise children is no longer self-evident. Traditional kind networks are dissolving and many young parents find themselves struggling with issues of how to bridge traditional and modern values, how to keep up with their children, what to pass on to their children, and how to participate in and influence public childcare and education in kindergartens and schools. Within the educational system there is the frequent compliant that parental knowledge and involvement is too often lacking. Organizers The Making People campaign in a project of Creative Parenting for the New Era (CPNE ) an NGO headed by dedicated Social Worker Joan Bishop. The Campaign aims to stimulate a dialog process as a bottom up approach to redefining child socialization and child-rearing through parental selfreflection, peer exchange and a peer learning process. CPNE, established in 2001, has trained more than 300 leaders in education, NGOs and Civil Society groups to work with families using methods that are respectful and supportive. The initiative has been primarily funded by the J.B. Fernandes Memorial Trust I and the Ministry of Education. CPNE graduates have a wide range of practical experience and expertise linked to supporting parenthood and child-rearing. The Making People Campaign represents the joining of these grassroots networks in a significant move towards advocacy in family and child-rearing issues. In the process a better understanding will be developed of what is needed to support today’s families in their daily and daunting task of bringing up the next generation. The idea for the campaign came out of the “How do we want to raise our Children?” campaign the brainchild of
the Union of Slovak Mother Centers, the national network of the over 60 Mother Centers in the Slovak Republic, (www.materskecentra.sk) in 2006. The idea was presented to and taken up by the Mother Center International Network (mine) who is serving as international coordinator of the campaign. CPNE’s lead facilitators were invited to contribute to the 2006 conference and subsequently committed to initiating a Caribbean version of the campaign locally. The Creative Parenting for the New Era year long Making People Campaign provides an opportunity for grassroots groups of any size to get together, on a monthly basis, to reflect on how we can support the development of our children. The campaign has started locally with CPNE graduates and groups initiating local debates in their communities on the issue “How do we want to raise our children?” These reflections are structured by a questionnaire and common guidelines. The debates at grassroots level will draw out the knowledge and competencies we have developed in every day life with children and give a picture of “contemporary parenthood” as it is shaped and formed by everyday challenges and how parents deal and cope with them throughout different cultural, ethnic and social backgrounds. Parents in communities from Mootoo Lands, Arima and Barataria, Three schools in Laventille and one in Chaguanas have already begun the conversations. The responses have been enthusiastic with parents keen to keep the discussions going. Themes and Questionnaires For each month of the Making People Campaign there is a different theme and a different set of questions to discuss. Monthly Topics March: What is good child-raising? April: Involved Fathers and mothers May: Discipline without violence
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June: Balancing work and family July: Schools and the education system August: Vacation Sept: Child friendly Communities and Cities October:Children’s Views and Voices (What do our children want?) November: The best of what is December: Preparing the national report The body of knowledge developed through this process will be the base for debates and negotiations with other stakeholders in society: kindergarten and school teachers, urban planners, local authorities, representatives of the retail industry, representatives of medical professions, religious institutions, universities and the media. These debates will take on a broader perspective: The question “How do we want to raise our children?” will develop into reflections on “How do we “make” the kind of people our nation needs?” and “What kind of environment is needed to raise our children as we want?” The local campaign culminates in 2010 when a two day National conference will bringing together CPNE graduates and community representatives from all over Trinidad and Tobago to share their wisdom, achievements and recommendations for creating the environment needed to make the kind of people that will move Trinidad and Tobago into a New Era. If you would like to join the Making People Campaign (recommended group size two-ten people) contact: Creative Parenting for the New Era on 626-2424 or email: baking@tstt.net.tt or cpne@tstt.net.tt to register and receive questionnaires and updates.
Learn to solve problems peacefully
Is your anger hurting you? Come Join TTIPS for a fresh look at anger management An interactive workshop When: Saturday 30th May, 2009 Where: Comprehensive English Centre, #135 Eastern Main Road, Arouca
(Between Lopinot Junction and Golden Grove Road)
Calm down stop arguing
If you or the other person is upset, take time to cool off.
Name the problem
Time:
9:00am to 1:00pm
Cost:
$150 per person (includes refreshments & materials)
Be specific – avoid general comments like, “you’re lazy”.
For Registration call: #796-8244, 324-5830
Focus on the problem, not the person. “it’s hard to concentrate on my work when you are talking so loudly.”
Always get both sides of the story. Think of solutions
T&T Innovative Parenting Support
Together, write down every idea you can for solving the problem – even ones that seem silly at the time.
A registered non-profit organization
PARENTING SUPPORT NEWSLETTER
Weigh ideas
Consider every idea. Think about the consequences. Ask yourself: What will happen if we do this? Will we both get what we need? Who else might be affected by what we choose to do?
Editor:
Barbara King
Layout:
Leslie Ann Bisnath
Proof Reader: Barbara King Produced by: T&T Innovative Parenting Support (TTIPS)
Choose a plan
Pick the best idea, then carry it out. Later, decide if the plan is working. If not, try another solution.
Printed by: Sprinters Visit our website or E-mail us today!
E-mail: parentingtt@gmail.com Website: www.parentingtt.com
How you handle a conflict can determine whether or not it gets resolved. 3
Bailout plan for parents By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller From the Response-Able Parent Newsletter #78
B
ail out Wall Street. Bail out the banks. Bail out the people and institutions that got us in this financial mess to begin with. Is that a good idea? Who knows? Certainly not us. We do not know enough, nor do we claim to know enough, about the current economic crisis facing our nation to be telling people what to do about it. We do not have sufficient understanding of all the interlocking ramifications of doing or not doing a financial bailout. The situation is outside our area of expertise. What is not beyond our level of expertise, however, is what to do about the issue of bailing out our children. We firmly believe it is not helpful to rescue, save, or bail out children for their inappropriate choices or actions that result in natural consequences that would not be a health or safety risk to them. If fact, it is harmful. When you do so, you teach your children they do not have to be responsible for their choices and actions. You show them that the cause-and-effect relationship that is at work in the universe does not apply to them because someone will always be there to save them from experiencing the legitimate consequences of their actions. Do you bail out your children? Are you inadvertently teaching them they do not have to act responsibly because they will not be held accountable for their choices? Consider the following. 1. If you are running lunch, homework, gym shoes, band instruments, or other forgotten objects to school, you are bailing out your children. You are not giving them a real reason to remember the forgotten object next time. Your job is to teach your children a system for remembering. Their job is to use the system. 2. Do you return home to get forgotten shin guards for soccer or a teeth guard for karate? Again, teach your children a
system for remembering. If they forget, allow them to experience the natural outcome of their behavior. Give them a real life reason to remember in the future. Why would they ever have to remember if someone keeps bailing them out? 3. Do you give advances on allowances? If so, you are rescuing. One of the reasons for allowances is to help children learn that if they spend it all the first day, there is no more until next week. You are depriving children of the opportunity to learn an important lesson when you bail them out. Allow them to deal with the outcomes of their spending, saving, or budgeting choices. 4. Are you a rescuer with your child’s homework? Do you care more than they do? To step out of the rescuer role, be available to help with homework, set a study time and create a study place. Once again, your job is to create the structure. Their job is to use it. If they come to you at 9 p.m. and inform you they need a poster board for a project, resist the urge to jump in the car and drive all over town trying to find one. Procrastination on their part does not necessitate an emergency on your part. Allow them to experience the consequences. 5. When your teen gets in over her head with a cell phone bill, parking tickets, or lack of gas for her car, rejoice. She now has the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson about the importance of keeping control of her spending behavior. Allow her to learn the lesson. If she doesn’t learn it now, she will have to learn it later when the stakes are higher. Debrief the situation with her and help her create a system for keeping track of her spending. This will come in handy when she goes off to college and someone offers her a free T-shirt if she accepts a credit card. Better to learn this lesson now rather than later.
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6. Did your son visit an inappropriate Web site on your computer? If so, it is time to remind him that opportunity equals responsibility. When responsibility in using the computer goes down, so does the opportunity to use it. Hold him accountable so he can experience the consequences before he gets another opportunity to use the computer. Then increase your level of monitoring and reset your Internet safety programs. 7. If your child accidentally breaks a neighbor’s window with a football, help her create a plan for paying for it. Help her learn that her actions produce results and that she is responsible for the results she creates. If you bail her out by paying for the window without having a payment plan in place, you teach her that she doesn’t have to be responsible for her actions. Resist the urge to bail out your children regardless of what you see modeled in our culture or government. When you regularly hold your children accountable (with an open heart), they will learn to see themselves as the cause of the results they produce. As you help them experience the direct relationship between cause and effect, they will become more empowered and view themselves as both capable and responsible. We could use more of that attitude today in our government, in our businesses, and in our world. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: http://www.personalpowerpress.com
Mothers for Change
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By: Barbara King
he anger, frustration and grief of mothers have been channeled into strategies to change society. Mothers have united the world over to improve life for families despite obstacles placed by political parties, governments and corporations. Mothers Against Drunk Driving’s (MADD) mission is to stop drunk driving, support the victims of this violent crime and prevent underage drinking. Established in 1980, MADD has grown into one of the USA’s most widely respected non-profit organizations. Mothers Against Murder And Aggression is a UK registered charity who have supported victims of violent crime and their families for over 15 years. MAMAA work directly with the British Home Office, offering advice on victims needs, and develop and promote strategies that work towards reducing what they consider to be the unacceptable level of violent crime in the UK. MASH (Mothers Against School Hazing) a non-profit US organization created to eliminate hazing, bullying, and/or any abusive acts to children. Its goals are to increase awareness, to educate, and to work to find alternatives to hazing, bullying and abusive acts inflicted on our children. Mothers Against Guns (MAG) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization committed to ending the horrible acts of gun violence that have invaded US communities. Mothers Against Sexual Abuse (MASA) works to prevent child sexual abuse by increasing adult awareness, connecting victims with resources and supporting legislation to protect children. It offers to abuse victims and their families access to a network of professionals who aid in recovery. MASA offers literature and education to adults, parents, caregivers and educators, and works with other
organizations to sponsor and implement educational programs. Mothers for Peace is a non-profit organization established in 1969. Its members include mothers, grandmothers, and non-parents. Its membership is predominantly, but not exclusively, women. The organization’s concerns include the dangers of nuclear power, weapons, and waste on national and global levels. Additionally, the Mothers for Peace cares about peace, social justice, and a safe environment. The group takes on all of these issues, working to make the world safer and more humane for generations to come. The Four Mothers Movement On February 4th, 1997, two transport helicopters carrying troops into Israel’s self-declared security zone in Southern Lebanon collided, killing all 73 soldiers aboard. In the aftermath of this terrible national tragedy, four women, who had sons serving in Lebanon held a small demonstration. They protested the fact that the Israeli government, which had indicated its readiness to pull out of Lebanon in 1985, had done nothing in the intervening 12 years to return to within its international border and had allowed the occupation of Lebanon to continue. During this period hundreds of Israeli soldiers and untold Lebanese have been killed in this “silent war” which nobody in the government has been ready to acknowledge or to end. These women, who took the name The Four Mothers Movement, gained immediate media attention and their
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numbers quickly swelled, indicating the widespread dissatisfaction and frustration of a large cross-section of the country with the present status quo. The Four Mothers Movement now has several hundred active members, it is unique in the country, a truly grassroots organization, not affiliated with any party, drawing supporters from across the political spectrum. While retaining the name The Four Mothers, the movement now includes a variety of concerned citizens: women and men, married and single, with or without children, students, and ex-soldiers, some of whom have themselves served in Lebanon. Local we have our own Mothers movements. Mothers have been behind the establishment of: • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Families in Action The Autistic Society of T&T The Rape Crisis Society Moms For Literacy Adult Literacy Tutors Assoc. (ALTA) Creative Parenting for the New Era The Dyslexia Association Mamatoto The Informative Breastfeeding Service (TIBS) The Mothers Union The Coterie of Social Workers The Women’s Federation T&T Innovative Parenting Support (TTIPS)
To name just a few.
Everyone’s moral responsibility
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By Tonia Gooding, contributing parent, Santa Cruz First published in Parenting Support Issue #37 2006
t is appalling to me that people in areas of influence in Society impacting upon our mass media are not fully aware of the extent to which the media affects our children, they are also not privy to research conducted in this field, be it local or otherwise. As a mother of young children who has opted to stay at home to raise them, I used this opportunity to gather as much literature as possible to assist me in one of the most important jobs I have ever encountered, that of MOTHERHOOD. I have also solicited loads of advice from parents whose children I admire and everywhere, the advice has been much the same, to inculcate your children in the values and morals you, as their mother believe in, you must take off the television, keep them away from video games, let them listen to cassettes and CDs of your choice, because 90% of what they get from the mass media is contrary to what you want to instill in them. In my time at home, which has allowed for hundreds of hours of exposure to the mass media at all hours of the day, I, unfortunately have arrived at the same conclusion. It is a fact that every single book I have read about parenting written in the past fifteen years, be it of Psychological or Religious background has devoted at least one chapter to the negative effects of the mass media on the development of young children especially their ability to differentiate between right and wrong. Let me refer to a few statements from a golden work of literature. The late Pope John Paul II, as quote from the Papal Letter on Mass Media, when asked, what is affected by mass media, he responded, ‘The foundation of personality and conscience, the interpretation and structure of affective relationships, the coming together of the educative and formative phases, the elaboration and diffusion of cultural phenomena, and the development of social, political and economic life, just to name a few’.
Just the first part of that powerful statement alone, shows how significant the mass media can be on the formative stages of our children. Let us focus on our little children for a while, from the ages of 18 months, when they are now learning to walk and talk, and are observing everything you say and do. In the book How Children Learn the author states ‘Everything that we take in through our five senses, remains in our subconscious and affects the decisions we make in life,’ and believe it or not, once these messages enter, they never leave. Think for a while from this stage how the whole world is opening up and yes, their personality and consciences are being formed. Now think of how much time this age group spends in front of the television (research has shown that the number of minutes per week that the average child watches television is 1680), and what the eyes and the ears are absorbing, yes, the television utilizes two senses at the same time so therefore it must be twice as effective (or should I say defective). Do we, as parents look at all the attitudes sent by these so called ‘family’ shows
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on cable regarding children to parents (and then wonder why our children are being so disrespectful?). Do we take note of the advertisements and the messages that they are imparting (and then wonder why our children cannot see that certain outfits send the wrong message to the opposite sex?). Do we recognize how many morally wrong issues are brought to light and treated so casually that young impressionable minds cannot recognize that that are in fact wrong (and then wonder how come their consciences are not better formed from what we, as parents, are showing and telling them to be right and wrong?). A key factor to remember here is that to young children, the parent has placed them in front of the television, so in their minds, the parents are condoning what is being shown, so if we are going to make a significant impact we must be watching the shows with our children with remote in hand ready, to switch stations, or verbally combat what is being seen or heard, or the best alternative, TURN IT OFF. We must endeavour to involve our children in alternative activities in the many art forms and/or outdoor activities, we
must also make a conscious effort to spent more time talking to our children, to identify how their views and opinions differ from ours, and re-establish family values and morals. Did you know that on average, the number of minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children is 38.5. PARENTS, we must wake up. MEDIA HOUSES, you need to start acting responsibly. Think about this statement ‘Parents used to be held responsible by society to teach cultural values so that their children would grow up respectful of cultural norms and mores. Now culture has gotten so out of hand that we must protect our children form these values,’ says Laura Kennedy, therapist and mother of three in the book ‘Raising a son, Parents and the making of a healthy man’. Absolutely true, all this reality T.V. with the refrain ‘reflecting the society’ and we expect the society to change for the better. The violence in society, the lack of value for human dignity and life is a reflection of what our culture has been bombarded with for the past few years. The lack of sensitivity of our consciences, the lack of desire to embrace correct morals and values, the inability to see examples before us to emulate of the virtues of Fortitude, Prudence, Responsibility, Chastity, Respect for others, Sincerity, Modesty, Loyalty, Patience, Humility, Temperance, instead of the vices of Faithlessness, Despair, Egoism, Immature Judgment, Irresponsibility,
When they resist
Softness, Self-indulgence. We need to acknowledge and answer truthfully what kind of individuals; of what moral fibre and of what character are we producing, as a society, when so many hours are being spent in the presence of these contrary messages. Isn’t it also ironic that we, as parents are being called to be so much more vigilant in our censorship when there are many more working two parent families, and single-parent families, who use the television as a baby-sitter while we catch our breaths and switch into home-mode, to prepare meals and tend to the daily routines of a home and family. Although this fact does not exempt parents from this major responsibility, it does bring to bear the greater role the mass media must play. If the mass media in Trinidad and Tobago has not fully understood their effect on society on the development of our children, they should take a look at the summaries of two articles appearing in our local papers last year from two cable stations. The first article was from Nickelodeon. The station was toying with the idea over the Summer holidays to switch off shows for two hours in the afternoon and instead have the words “GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY’ written across the screen. This idea was born out of concern for the epidemic of obese young persons that are being cultivated in the United States of America, and sought to act in a morally
When you are a divorced or separated father there are many reasons why your child may resist visitation. They may not like the woman you’re dating or are married to, or the new family you are living in. Some children reach an age when friends, activities and other interests become important and they are no longer willing to devote as much time to you alone. Parenting writer Kirk Bloir, advices: You can’t bribe, argue, or coerce your children into spending time with you. You may have to wait until they can accept the changes in your life. Try to set aside your fears and insecurities. Be
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responsible manner, the station was hoping that other stations would do the same. This I do applaud them for. This idea however, upon closer inspection made me rather concerned, for I believe that we, as parents are responsible for sending these messages to our children, not the television stations, but the reality is that the mass media is having a greater influence upon our children than parents. To further emphasize this point MTV had issued a statement, proudly acknowledging that they have been responsible for the way young people speak, dress and behave for the past decade or so and promise to continue this trend. It was with great horror that I read these articles and hastened to impart these messages to other concerned mothers about where our children’s futures were headed, if we, as parents do not radically change out laissez faire attitude towards what is entering our children’s minds, and make our voices be heard. We must recognize as a society that it is the responsibility of everyone to effect change for the better, this particular issue of censoring and controlling the effects of the mass media on our children revolves around the actions of both the mass media and the parents in our culture, we must all act with a sense of urgency, because it almost seems that ‘The future of our nation can now lie in that little remote control.’ How tragic!!!!!
supportive, listening and accepting of their feelings. He says: Make it clear that your door is always open, and there is always a place for your child in your heart and home. It hurts when your child appears to be rejecting you, but the hurt will pass. It’s just part of the divorce you have to get through and move beyond. Your understanding now, will pay off for both of you in the future. Making the Most of Visitation Part I - From Kirk Bloir, Ohio State University Extension, for About.com
Smile Leroy from Port Antonio, JA- always wanted to look cool. His friend told him that he needed a good designer pair of sneakers to go with his sweat-suit. Leroy saved up all his pay slips and all the money he got back from returning his empty bottles of Red Stripe and finally managed to get himself a pair of brilliant white sneakers to go with his sweat-suit. Proudly, Leroy strutted down the street calling out to all the passers by, ‘See mi new sneakers dem? Cool, eh?’ One fine upstanding gentleman pointed out that they were indeed a fine pair of sneakers, but young Leroy had a lace undone. Leroy scornfully retorted that it was part of being cool to have a trailing lace, and that on the bottom of the sneakers there were instructions for the wearer to only have one lace tied. When asked for proof of this instruction, Leroy took off his Sneakers and held it upside down for the disbeliever to read. ‘See it deh! It seh ‘ TAIWAN ‘.
Smile
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers. ‘Hello.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’ ‘Speaking.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way, the results are not too good.’ ‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. ‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can’t tell which is which.’ ‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’ questioned Mrs. Sanders. ‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.’ ‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’ ‘The folk at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.’
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Parenting Support Directory Adult Literacy Tutors COUNSELLING Adolescents, education Association Tel: 624-ALTA (2582) personal and family issues: Marilyn Robb, AIDS/HIV Counselling PhD. Tel: 640-1497 Tel: 625-2437/0646-7 Association of AIDS Hotline Catholic Counsellors Tel: 625-2437 21 Taylor St. Woodbrook, Alcoholics Anonymous Tel: 622-8586, 623-6723 Tel: 627-8213 Child Development and Association For Early Education Specialist Marina Torres Childhood Education Tel: 663-1766 Promoting quality Living Waters Hospice care and education. for the Terminally ill Tel: 622-3887 Tel: 622-1424 Association for Loss and Grief Retarded Children Lauren Pouchet Lady Hochoy Home, Cocorite Tel: 622-4795 Tel: 633-4733 Sister Helena Profero Autistic Society of T & T Tel: 625-3680 Parental support, education for families. Rape and Incest Tel: 669-0462/663-8397 Tel: 622-7273/1079, San Fernando: Child Guidance Tel: 657-5355 Assessment of children Disabled Women’s with behaviour problems, Network (DAWN) child psychiatry and Counselling and training counselling, parent Tel: 625-2479 advice. Free. EWMSC. Domestic Violence Tel: 645-4673 Hotline - Any day, any CHILDLINE - Free time. Counselling, support, telephone counselling emergency shelter. for children Tel: 800-4321 Tel: 800-SAVE (7283) CHOICES Child Welfare League programme to educate teen parents. Tel: 623-6301
Dyslexia Association Training and information for parents and teachers. Tel: 624-READ
Coalition Against Domestic Violence information and assistance. Tel: 624-0402
Emmanuel Community counselling, spiritual support. Tel: 628-8181/1586
Families In Action Counselling Services, Consumer Affairs Division Tel: 623-7741 addicts support group, parenting courses Complaints line Hotline Tel: 628-2333 Tel: 800-4CPS Office: Tel: 622-6952 Creative Parenting for Families of the Disabled the New Era, (CPNE) Counselling, advocacy, Facilitator training recreation. Tel: 632-1710 programmes for effective work with parents. Family Planning Assoc. Tel: 626-2424 Tel: 623-5169/4764
Family Services Probation Assistance Division - Port of Spain Tel: 623-8248 Tel: 624-8218/625-0439 Psychiatric Social Legal Aid Tel: 652-0454 Work Department St. Ann’s Hospital Mamatoto Resource clinics, counselling and and Birth Centre, assistance with mental Clifford St. Belmont. health problems including Tel: 621-2368 substance abuse, the Mediation Centres homeless. Tel: 624-4379 Conflict resolution services free of charge for minor Rape Crisis Society criminal matters, common Support and counselling assault, family or civil P.O.S. Tel: 7273/1079, San Fernando: Tel: 657-5355 disputes. Sam Lewis Tel: 682-7901 Rebirth House Mediation Services For drug abuse Free. Hugh Wooding Law counselling & information School Legal Aid Clinic Tel: 623-0952, 623-4872 Tel: 663-6274/662-2577 Scout Assoc. of T&T Ministries 1 St. Ann’s Road, St. Ann’s Social Development Tel: 624-7271 adoption, social welfare, Self Enhancement Centre disability affairs, Self Read for life Arima. Help Tel: 624-5319 Tel: 771-3460 Ministry of Sport & SERVOL Youth Affairs Adolescent/early Sports programmes, Youth development and childhood education, Apprenticeship Centres: vocational/parenting Tel: 625-5622-4 skills training. Tel: 623-6324/627-9183 Moms for Literacy Teaching reading TIBS (The Informative skills and more Breastfeeding Service) Tel: 663-6667/638-6667 Information & support Mothers Union of the for breastfeeding mothers Tel: 628-8234 Anglican Church Assistance for single T&T Innovative parents and families. Parenting Support (TTIPS) Margaret Maxwell Parent education, Tel: 640-0805 counseling, Parenting National Alcohol and Support Newsletter Drug Abuse Prevention Henry Street, Trincity Prog. Information and Tel:796-8244, 324-5830 training on substance Email ttips@tstt.net.tt abuse prevention The Rapport Tel: 627-3506/3527 information Centre. Piparo Empowerment Youth arm of the Centre - addiction National AIDS counselling and support programme. Offering Tel: 656-0557 counselling, crisis Police Juvenille Bureau counselling, teen & Counselling Services support services. Tel: 627-0841 Tel: 627-4163
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T&T Cancer Society Providing medical care, counselling, support for individuals and groups. Tel: 622-6827, 622-8947 South Cancer Support Group Tel: 652-9144 TT Coalition on the Rights of the Child Gregory Sloane-Seale Tel: 627-8764, 625-9622 Toco Foundation, Parenting agents, youth HIV/AIDS education. Tel: 670-1369 Working Women Drop-in counselling Tues. & Thurs. 3 - 6 p.m Tel: 663-9509 YMCA Benbow Rd., POS. Youth outreach, after school and vacation programmes, child care, preschool. Tel: 627-8764, 625-9622 YWCA 8a Cipriani Blvd. Newtown. Education and training programmes Tel: 627-6388 Tobago Support Domestic Violence Social Services and Gender Affairs Tel: 639-1512/7943 Children and Family Services Tel: 639-1512/7943 Social Welfare Unit Tel: 639-2673/3421 Probation Office Tel: 660-7871 Probation Hostel Tel: 660-7871 Adolescent Partnership Programme and Long Term Care for the Elderly Tel: 639-7943/1425 Outpatient and Substance Abuse Clinic Tel: 660-7872
How do you decide who to marry? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. - Kristen, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don’t want any more kids. - Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. - Theodore, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they’re rich. - Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? - Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is........ HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10
“Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to ‘jump at de sun.’ We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.” - Zora Neale Hurston 10
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