Page 10 with DeeDee Davis

Page 10

DeeDee Davis, Contributing Writer

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays….. How true it is, except what exactly is “home”? Norman Rockwell would probably paint it with parents piling their children and pets into station wagons as they prepared to drive for hours to get back to their own roots with mom and dad. Snow would be a requirement as well as plenty of homemade treats, familiar albums of Christmas music playing on the stereo, and a tree covered with ornaments from childhood. Mom would probably be wearing an apron when everyone arrived and Dad would most likely be in a recliner by the fire watching football. I do remember those days but, my, how things have changed. Becoming a grown-up means taking everything life has dished out and making the very most of every precious second. No one plans on divorce, death, or year round baseball and cheerleading, but all of these things have a way of redefining time-honored tradition. When my children were very small, we always made the annual holiday trek to north Alabama where my parents lived. I come from a large family and for the longest time, all of us miraculously were able to be together for a period of time during the holidays. It was great fun being in a crowded noisy house, passing on sacred family traditions to our own kids. My mother still hangs the same tacky, priceless pieces we made in grammar school on the tree. To " this day, none of us claim the ugly angel that topped the evergreen for years and was retired only when one wing came loose. She now has her own tissue-lined box and is available for display only. Semi-gone, but never forgotten. Many years ago I opted for a more designer type tree, but I always put up a smaller one that shows off all the treasures my children so proudly brought home from school. My son’s toilet paper roll nutcracker soldier holds a permanent spot among the glittering decorations. Money can’t buy something like that. Mom also instilled in us the importance of a home cooked Christmas dinner; regardless of what day we dined. Since Christmas day conflicts such as sharing the kids with an ex or time required at the hunting camp create challenging schedules, we are rarely together anymore on the big day. We do, however, try to have the family feast on December 23 before everyone scatters. This change was hardest on my youngest brother who still believes there is no excuse for anything short of a total recreation of our youth. But to manage the stress level that seems to surface in December, concessions " had to be made. Additionally, I have to admit that one year I took my children to a nice restaurant for the holiday dinner and if it weren’t for the guilt I feel when looking into my mother’s eyes, I would not mind that becoming a new tradition. Unfortunately, while my kids are thoroughly modern and appreciated that one unique outing, they are old fashioned enough to want green bean casserole and sweet potatoes with praline topping. Mercifully, I have a husband who loves to cook and now we gladly host the entire mob for dinner at our home. The lesson here is that at some point we let our children take over. This is when we really learn what they are all about and what they consider worthy of passing on. To this day, when my grown daughter comes over for the holidays, she likes to nap by the fire under her baby blanket with “Christmas in Dixie” softly playing. That song is not my favorite and I long ago substituted Harry Connick Jr, Michael Buble and Diana Krall as my holiday albums of choice. But there is something so wonderful and so peaceful about seeing her curl up while her brother surfs through sports channels on a muted television that I could listen to Alabama sing for the rest of my life. You think your kids don’t care about tradition or that they even notice, and then something like this happens and you realize they have internalized the joy after all. Holidays can get you down if you’re not careful because it is easy to get lost on memory lane as you wander through the past. Take advantage of change and make new and better traditions for yourself and for your family. And don’t forget the nap blanket. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to you all!

Becoming a grown-up means taking everything life has dished out and making the very most of every precious second.

Opinion piece: the views expressed in this article are solely of the writer and not representative of Pensacola Magazine