Baltimore Jewish Home 10-10-24

ANNOUNCING THE OPENING OF A

GIRLS’ SCHOOL

SERVING THE BALTIMORE COMMUNITY

NEW FOR THE 2025-2026 SCHOOL YEAR

ENROLLMENT AND OPEN HOUSE DETAILS COMING SOON

Dear Readers,

R’ Yonasan Musman, an esteemed member of the Baltimore community, related to me a famous explanation from the Gra, who elaborates in his commentary on Shir Hashirim a fascinating explanation as to why we celebrate Sukkos in the autumn, rather than immediately after Pesach. It would seem more logical to commemorate Sukkos in the spring, following Pesach and prior to Shavuos, as it symbolizes the Sukkos in which we dwelled during the journey through the midbar—events that took place between Yetzias Mitzrayim (Pesach) and Matan Torah (Shavuos). However, the Gra clarifies in his commentary on Shir Hashirim that the timing of Sukkos is intentional, marking the return of the Ananei Hakavod (clouds of glory) that reappeared after Moshe Rabbeinu’s final ascent on Har Sinai.

Moshe Rabbeinu spent a total of 120 days on Har Sinai, divided into three periods of 40 days each. He first ascended on the 7th of Sivan and came down on the 17th of Tammuz, breaking the Luchos, and with that, the Ananei Hakavod departed. He then ascended again on the 18th of Tammuz to plead for forgiveness on behalf of Bnei Yisrael, descending on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul to announce their forgiveness. His final ascent was on Rosh Chodesh Elul, and he returned on Yom Kippur with the second Luchos. The day after, he announced the construction of the Mishkan. Contributions were gathered, and on the 15th of Tishrei, the Ananei Hakavod returned.

The Gra notes that Sukkos aligns with the day the Ananei Hakavod reappeared, showing that the celebration was always meant for this time of year. We follow Rabbi Eliezer (Succah 11b) that the sukkah represents those protective clouds. Furthermore, Sukkos is a time to actively draw close to Hashem, complementing the themes of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, as emphasized in Parshas Emor with the mitzvos of the Arba Minim and sitting in the sukkah.

The beauty of these days lies in how they guide us to draw ever closer to Hashem. Yom Kippur demands intense focus and effort, purifying ourselves through teshuvah and tefillah. This then transitions into the joyful mitzvos of Sukkos—dwelling in the sukkah, shaking the arba minim, and celebrating with the pure joy of Simchas Torah. These days set the foundation for the entire year, rooted in closeness to Hashem.

Cherish and enjoy these precious days, and if you make the most of them—not just for yourself, but with your family and friends— then surely you’ll be blessed with health, happiness, and a deeper connection to Hashem that carries through the entirety of the year.

Wishing the entire Baltimore community a most joyful Yom Tov season, and a year filled with happiness and health!

Aaron Menachem

and mazal tovs to editor@baltimorejewishhome.com

REFRESHMENTS, RIKUD, DIVREI TORAH, ACHDUS.

October 19, 2024

9:00PM – 11:30PM

Shomrei Emunah

6221 Greenspring Avenue

Men, Women, Yeshiva Bochurim, and children invited. Refreshments will be served.

Over

A Night Of Pain

And Unity At UMD:

Reflections On October 7th

By: Ceren Leven, Executive Director BZD

Iwas at the University of Maryland, College Park, and I want to share my reflections with you.

I arrived early and attended a pro-Hamas “vigil.” Let me tell you, as someone who carries the weight of October 7th in my heart, my blood boiled—so much so that it felt like it reached 10,000%. I won’t share photos from that event because I wouldn’t want to burden you with that kind of pain. But I will say this: it takes a special kind of (sick) person to attend a rally in support of Hamas on the very day when we mourn the lives so brutally taken.

On the other hand, as the Executive Director of the @baltimore Zionist District I was moved beyond words to

attend the UMD Hillel vigil in honor of those we lost on October 7th—Israeli, Muslim, Christian, and beyond. Over 1,000 students gathered together in unity, with their voices lifted in beautiful songs, prayers, reflections, and tributes to those precious lives taken from us on that horrific Saturday.

I am so proud of these students, who have not only been forced to grow up far too fast over this past year but who also have to endure so much pain and hatred on their very own campus. And yet, they stand tall. My heart is grateful to the UMD Hillel, Chabad, and everyone else who made tonight possible for these brave students.

May we all see better days, filled with peace and understanding. Am Yisrael Chai.

Close To 400 Rally For Israel At Wellwood

By: BJLife Newsroom

Speakers at the Rally for Israel in front of Wellwood on Smith Ave. (in alphabetical order) included Jay Bernstein, Former Governor and Current Senate Candidate Larry Hogan, Pastor Larry Kirk of Christians United for Israel, Rabbi Daniel Lerner of Pikesville

Jewish Congregation, BZD Executive Director Ceren Leven, Rabbi Yisroel Motzen of Ner Tamid, Baltimore County Councilman Izzy Patoka, Rabbi Chai Posner of Beth T’filoh, Cantor Yoni Rose of Beth T’filoh, and Baltimore City Councilman Isaac ‘Yitzy’ Schleifer.

An Evening Of Reflection In Baltimore: Remembering The Kedoshim Of October 7

More than 600 community members gathered at Ner Tamid Social Hall for a powerful evening of remembrance and unity. The standing-room-only program included uplifting Shira and Divrei Torah from community Rabbanim, and a special address by Eli Skaist, Israeli company commander in the IDF’s southern Yasar Unit.

By: BJLife Newsroom

The evening featured music by Nossi Gross, Eli Cohen, Matt Schoenfeld, Akiva Trout, Zevi Daniel, Moishe Abramson, Dovi Ziffer, and Yonatan Grinberg.

The event brought together reflection, inspiration, and hope as the community honored the memories of the Kedoshim.

From The Baltimore Zionist District OfficeRebbetzin Aviva Feiner in Baltimore

To commemorate October 7th, Sinai Hospital held a ceremony in the atrium to commemorate the terrorist attack that occurred in Israel one year ago.

Speakers included Rabbi Jerry Seidler, Rabbi Jeffrey Orkin and Interfaith Resource Group co-presidents Desi Rotenberg and Dr. Carol Scott. They spoke to memorialize the almost 1200 who were brutally murdered, to pray for the safe return of the remaining 101 hostages, the hope for continued peace in Israel and the whole word and our duty as a unified community to support and teach one another love and acceptance.

To start the ceremony, the shofar was blown followed by a moment of silence. Prayers of peace and hope were recited, attendees were invited to take hostage ribbons and light candles in honor of all of the victims.

Torah Together had the pleasure of having Rebbetzin Aviva Feiner address a large gathering of women at its pre-Rosh Hashana lecture at Shomrei Emunah. In the aftermath of October 7th Rebbetzin Feiner expounded on how the Jewish people have been able to preserve their happiness and optimism throughout thei r trials and tribulation. Rebbetzin Feiner shared her own poignant story of facing challenges of having an only ch ild with multiple disabilities yet maintaining her vitality and ability to enjoy life. This was a lecture that was so inspiring that it will not be forgotten.

Rabbi Heinemann Speaks To Yeshivas Toras Simcha

B”H the school year at Yeshivas Toras Simcha has gotten off to an unbelievable start, with all of our Bochurim growing in their davening and learning.

We had the huge Zechus to have Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, Rov of Agudas Yisroel of Baltimore, speak to our older boys, grades 5-8. He eloquently explained to these budding Talmiday Chochomim that as important as building the 3rd Beis Hamikdash is, their Learning Torah is even more important, to the extent that they will continue to learn as the Beis Hamikdash is being built.

YTS Celebrates The Four Top Winners Of Grades

T1-4 Shofar Building Contest

he Boys of Yeshivas Toras Simcha were ‘challenged’ to build their own Shofar. Credit was given for creativity, shape, size, color etc.

The winners from left to right:

Shimon Saitowitz 3rd Grade, Rabbi Shai Scherer, Program Director of YTS, Moshe Benyowitz 3rd Grade, Yosef Newmark 4th Grade, Eliyahu Benporat 4th Grade and Rabbi Hillel Shepard, Menahel of YTS.

Dr. Abba Spero Give Over Rosh Hashana Inspiration To L’Chaim Day Program

Maybe this “malach” was another test. Maybe he was supposed to ignore the malach, and continue on his mission. How did Avraham know that the first two impediments were only a test, but this last occurrence was the authentic word of Hashem?

The secret lies in the words that the malach used- “Avraham Avraham”, repeating his name twice. Rashi refers to this as a “lashon chiba”, a language of love. So perhaps what the Torah is revealing to us, is that it is impossible that those were the words of the satan. The satan is incapable of using words of love and connection. After hearing those words, Avraham Aveinu knew

that this message was from Hashem, who truly loves him, and therefore had to be authentic.

What about us? In our relationships with our family members and friends, are we using a “lashon chiba”. a language of love? Are the connections we have with others truly authentic, so much so that we can sense the genuine love? As we approach the Yamim Noraim, we strive to emulate the relationship that Avraham had with Hashem. Full of pure and authentic love.

L’Chaim Day Program thanks Dr. Spero for his inspiring words.

Agudah Maryland Arranges Meeting To Prepare For The Upcoming Election

With the 2024 General Election season in full swing, as mailin ballots begin arriving (for those who have requested), and Early Voting slated to begin in less than three weeks, the Vaad HaRabbonim/Rabbinical Council of Baltimore met on Monday with two important candidates on the the November ballot: former Governor Larry Hogan, running for the Maryland Senate seat being vacated by the retiring Senator Ben Cardin, and current Baltimore County Executive Johnny Olszewski Jr., who is running for the 2nd District Congressional seat left by retiring Congressman Dutch Ruppersberger.

As in past pre-election meetings of this type, the forum was coordinated by Agudah Maryland and took place at Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation. In addition to the rabbonim, representatives from Jewish day schools and other

community organizations were in attendance. Despite the general reluctance of trying to gather the rabbonim during the Aseres Yemei Teshuva/Yom Tov season, it was felt that the shared appreciation for the long-standing relationship with the two candidates, and the critical role our community’s electorate plays in this election, justified fitting in this meeting nonetheless.

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Agudah Maryland had been working to set up a pre-election meeting to host not only Gov. Hogan, the Republican candidate, but also his opponent from the Democrat side, current Prince George’s County Executive Angela Alsobrooks. Disappointingly, however, despite initial indications that the Alsobrooks campaign was interested in participating in such a meeting, they did not make her available to meet with the leadership of the Orthodox Jewish community. Gov. Hogan spoke about his decision to run after having been enjoying retirement from elected office for several years. He attributed his decision to his deep concerns about the direction the country is heading, describing viscerally how he was shocked to see the dangerous rise in antisemitism in the wake of October 7th and the Israel-Gaza war, and the tolerance for it by the general public. Hogan talked about his decision to resign from two Harvard University fellowship posts after seeing what he described as their disgusting tolerance of hateful antisemitic rhetoric and protests. The former Governor also described his resolve to maintain his independence if elected, saying that he would continue to vote according to his convictions rather than serve as a blank check for any one party or politician.

Baltimore County Executive “Johnny O” was the second guest of the gathering and shared brief highlights of his relationship with the community and its leaders in his role as a legislator, and then County Executive (currently halfway through his second term), and his determination to continue to help his constituents if elected to serve as Maryland’s 2nd District Repre -

sentative. The candidate spoke of his support for Israel, his horror at the atrocities of October 7th, and mentioned as well his intent to visit Israel in person in the near future. Mr. Olszewski echoed concerns from the audience about the unfortunate rise of extremist voices on both sides of the aisle, pointing out that some of the more media-prominent extremist voices within his own party (the Democrats) had been ejected from their posts by their voters in the primary, and pointed to his experience working with both Democrats and Republicans in the “purplish” political arena of Baltimore County.

Rabbi Ariel Sadwin, who arranged the event, commented: “We were very pleased with the turnout of rabbonim and community leaders at the meeting, despite the limited time-flexibility during the Yom Tov season. We must also reinforce the enormous importance our community’s vote will play in the upcoming election. Please, everyone, go out and VOTE!”

AYESHA FASHION HONG KONG

Greater Washington: Around the Community

The Strength Of Our Nation

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z”tl famously wrote that “it takes faith to have a child.” Bringing a child into the world, said Rabbi Sacks, is a statement of “faith that we are here for a purpose, that we are part of a larger story…that we have duties to the past and to the future.” For many Jewish families expecting a baby in the weeks and months after October 7, 2023, bringing a new Jewish child into the world was a profound statement of faith in the Jewish future. Even as the Jewish world grieved the loss of the 1,200 people murdered on October 7th and the 346 soldiers killed in the first year of Operation Swords of Iron, each new Jewish baby represented a small victory over those who seek our destruction.

For four Silver Spring, MD Jewish families who welcomed new babies in the last year, naming their new child was an opportunity to honor the legacy of a hero who fell in battle during the past year. Each family described a feeling of connection with a particular story and the qualities of that soldier, and chose to memorialize their name with a brand new Jewish life brought into the world. All four families have been in contact with “their” soldier’s relatives in Israel, and have gone from strangers to feeling like extended family.

The Goodman family welcomed Yisrael “Izzy” Roey at the end of October 2023 just hours after Sgt. Roey Dawi (20) was killed in battle in the northern Gaza Strip. Roei was a passionate soldier who fought for his people with his last breath. As he entered battle, he wrote a WhatsApp message to himself that was discovered after his death. “Dad, Mom, Nitsani, Eden and Tomer, I love you, you were the best there is. If I have to die, then it should be just like this. I hope we have crushed Gaza before it reaches you. I don’t regret anything.” Baby Izzy’s family hopes that he can carry on Roey’s iconic smile and bring a bit of his strength to Am Yisrael. Izzy’s parents wrote, “we also connected with the name which translates to ‘my shepherd.’ Just how a shepherd is always on the move and never complacent, we hope that our

By: Caren Szanton

Roey always strives for more and is never satisfied with being stagnant.”

Aliza Adar Szanton was born in February, and named for Lt. Adar Ben Simon (20) who died in battle at Zikim Base on October 7. When the Szantons read Adar’s name, they knew it was meant to be -- they already planned to name their daughter Aliza, which means happiness, and she was due in the happy month of Adar. Adar Ben Simon’s story told them that she was exactly the kind of heroine they were looking for. On October 7, she and her fellow officers hid their 90 trainees and 30 civilian employees, while they themselves battled the nine terrorists who had infiltrated the base. Six of the commanders lost their lives, but they successfully protected all but one of their trainees. As she prepared to battle the terrorists, Adar texted her sister “shema Yisrael.” Baby Aliza’s family is inspired by Adar’s heroism and by her ability to do the right thing even when it meant the ultimate sacrifice. Aliza’s parents shared that they, “hope that our baby girl can inherit her namesake’s courage, altruism, and strength of character.”

The Gross family was particularly drawn to Staff Sgt. Ori Karmi (20), whose story they remembered from moving eulogies at his funeral and in the days following his burial, especially hearing his sister say that she “does not want the world to forget [her] brother.” Ori Karmi’s heroism on October 7 was extraordinary. He was awoken by rocket sirens and immediately ran to the front gate of his base to investigate. When he realized the magnitude of the catastrophe unfolding—an infiltration far greater than anything they had trained for—he didn’t hesitate. He ran back to warn his fellow soldiers. Baby Yaakov-Ori’s parents shared that, “learning about his bravery and kindness, and the deep love he had for his family, we felt a strong pull toward honoring him.” When their son was born on the 27th of Iyar, the timing of his birth was a clear sign pointing to Ori Karmi’s name. Ori had been buried on the 27th of Tishrei, and this meaningful connection between the dates rein-

forced the family’s decision. Adding further significance to the number 27 is the opening to Psalm 27, which reads “Hashem ori v’yishi” (Hashem is ori-my light-- and my salvation).

When the Furchtgott family found out that they were expecting a baby shortly after October 7, they immediately knew that they wanted to name their child after a soldier who had been killed. Just a few days before their son’s brit milah, they heard the story of Cpt. Israel Yudkin (22) and his mother, who was lobbying to have the law changed to allow the traditional phrase “Hashem yikom damo” (May G-d avenge his blood) to appear on the gravestones of soldiers

killed defending the Jewish state. The Furchtgott family had not yet decided on a middle name for their son, whom they already intended to call Ari (which means “Lion”), and felt that Israel was the perfect name to both honor the individual soldier and highlight national unity. They named their son Ari Israel (which means “Lion of Israel”) after Cpt. Israel Yudkin.

Each of these soldiers’ stories is deeply personal, and yet represents the strength of the entire nation of Israel. May their memories be for a blessing, and may their young namesakes live by their examples. Am Yisrael Chai.

613 Seconds with Rabbi Shmuel Chaim Naiman

Founder of Healthy Jew, Foraging Guide, and Mashgiach Ruchani at Yeshivat Lev HaTorah

Baltimore Jewish Home: Tell us a little about yourself. Where are you from?

Rabbi Naiman: I was born and raised in Baltimore, with roots here for seven generations. I attended Torah Institute and then Ner Yisrael. At 19, I came to Eretz Yisrael to learn in the Mir, and I’ve been learning and teaching Torah here ever since. My family and I currently live in Ramat Bet Shemesh. (Here’s the secret to staying in EY: marry an Israeli, and you’re stuck!)

BJH: And now you’re also in the health and wellness field. How did you get into this?

RN: I’ve always been a bit restless and often felt unwell or distracted. Over the years, I found that consistently practicing healthy living—eating well, exercising, and reducing unhealthy stress— helps me stay focused, productive, happy, and healthy. I wanted to share my experiences with a broader audience, so I enrolled in a 3-year program to become a certified healthy lifestyle counselor.

BJH: Your brand is called Healthy Jew. What exactly do you do?

RN: Most of my work involves writing and teaching about Jewish wellness and Eretz Yisrael—two closely connected topics, because, as the Kuzari and Vilna Gaon explain, Eretz Yisrael is the healthy body of Klal Yisrael. I publish a free weekly email newsletter called The Healthy Jew and lead foraging walks in Israel’s natural world. One of the first people to join my foraging walks enjoyed it so much that he invited me to teach a nightly Healthy Jew class at his gap-year yeshiva, Lev HaTorah, where I now work almost full-time as Mashgiach Ruchani

BJH: Foraging walks—what’s that all about?

RN: It might sound unusual, but people of all ages love these fascinating, fun, and deeply meaningful experiences. As we walk through some of Eretz Yisrael’s most beautiful natural and historical sites, we learn about and eat the very same plants that our ancestors gathered here. For example, we taste the bitterness of wild lettuce for maror and gather seeds and berries mentioned in the Mishnah, all while appreciating their historical context, like Emek HaEla where David fought Goliath.

When out foraging, Eretz Yisrael comes alive. Our modern country isn’t just concrete, metal, and glass—found

all over the world—and our history isn’t only in ancient ruins. People are seeking new, authentic ways to connect with Israel, and foraging walks offer an excellent way to do that.

BJH: Your passion is palpable. Now, let’s talk about your new book, Land of Health: Israel’s War for Wellness, which is out now from Menucha Publishers. Why did you write it, and what can readers expect?

RN: On October 8, 2023, I was thinking about how I could contribute during the unfolding crisis. I’m not much of a soldier, at least in the conventional sense. But even then, it was clear there would be another dimension to the conflict—what I’ve come to call the “war for wellness.”

Jews around the world… [pause while Rabbi Naiman heads to the safe room—this interview was interrupted by Iran’s October 1 missile attacks]… are experiencing anxiety, stress, and fear at levels we haven’t seen in generations. Healthy Jew offers solutions in two ways. First, as the Kuzari explains based on Tehillim (102:15), our nation’s troubles stem from not yearning to know Hashem in Eretz Yisrael, and salvation comes when we cherish and desire this perfect place for imperfect people. And on a simpler level, taking care of ourselves with strategies appropriate for challenging times will help us

survive and thrive through this crisis. These two themes form the two sections of my book.

BJH: Fascinating approach. Who is the target audience for this book?

RN: Anyone who’s open to appreciating Israel’s central role in Judaism and anyone interested in integrating healthy living into a Torah lifestyle. There’s nothing controversial about these principles, and I don’t take sides in political or religious debates on how to apply them in our complex world. The book is written in clear, engaging English to reach a wide audience. Plus, our publishing team has created a beautifully designed book with dozens of stunning full-color photos of Israel’s natural world, highlighting its beauty and vitality even in difficult times. So, it’s worth it just for the pictures!

BJH: Your dedication shines through in all aspects of your work. If someone wants to learn more about you, your book, foraging walks, and other projects, where can they find you?

RN: Everything Healthy Jew can be found on my website, healthyjew.org. It concisely introduces the three main things available: my new book, my foraging walks, and my weekly email newsletter.

Order your copy of Land of Health at: amazon.com/Land-Health-Israels-WarWellness/dp/B0DC4BGPKC

The Week In News

The Week In News

Russia: 6 Years Jail for U.S. Citizen

Stephen Hubbard, 72, was sentenced to six years and 10 months in jail by a Russian court on Monday for allegedly fighting as a mercenary for Ukraine, according to Russian state media TASS.

Hubbard is originally from Michigan. He was accused of fighting against Russia for monetary compensation and

pleaded guilty last month to charges of being a mercenary, according to Russian state media RIA Novosti. Prosecutors charged that Hubbard fought with Ukraine in the key city of Izyum, after signing a contract for about $1,000 per month. He was detained by Russian forces in April 2022.

His trial and sentencing took place behind closed doors in a Moscow court.

Hubbard’s sister, Trisha Hubbard Fox, previously said he held pro-Russian views and cast doubt on his confession, telling Reuters in an interview that “he never had a gun, owned a gun, done any of that… He’s more of a pacifist.”

“RUSSIA’s prosecutor is LYING!!! Steve was never a mercenary. He was an English teacher teaching English in foreign countries!” his sister added in a post on Facebook last month.

Earlier on Monday, a Russian court sentenced another American citizen, former marine Robert Gilman, to seven years and one month in a maximum-security penal colony for assaulting law enforcement officers, according to Russian state media RIA Novosti.

Gilman is already serving time in a

Russian prison after he was sentenced in October 2022 to more than four years for an attack on a police officer, according to Reuters. His sentence was later reduced to 3.5 years.

15.8 Million Jews

As Jews worldwide celebrate Rosh Hashana, the Jewish population stands at around 15.8 million, an increase of about 100,000 compared to 15.7 million at the beginning of the year 5784, according to the Jewish Agency, based on research conducted by demographer Prof. Sergio Della Pergola from the Hebrew University for the American Jewish Yearbook (2024 AJYB).

According to the data, 7.3 million Jews live in Israel, compared to 7.2 million at the beginning of 5784, while 8.5 million Jews live outside of Israel — including 6.3 million in the United States and 2.2 million in other countries.

Chairman of The Jewish Agency Maj. Gen. (res.) Doron Almog said, “The existential relationship between the Jewish communities around the world and the State of Israel has strengthened in the past year. We are witnessing unprecedented support that provides us the strength and hope to carry on. The difficult war that was imposed on us, alongside the struggle of Jews around the world against rising antisemitism, emphasizes the shared destiny and the mission of The Jewish Agency — to be a living bridge between global Jewry and the State of Israel, to be the home for all Jews from around the world — from all denominations and sectors. We will continue to unite and harness the power of the Jewish people to restore the State of Israel and build a model society based on the values of mutual responsibility and unconditional love.”

Greater Washington Weekday Minyanim Guide

6:15 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M-F

6:25 am Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F

6:30 am Beth Sholom Congregation M-F

Beit Halevi (Sfardi) M, T

Chabad of Silver Spring M-F

Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY M-F

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S YGW M, Th

6:35 am Ohr Hatorah M, Th

6:40 am YGW S, T, W, F

Magen David Sephardic Congregation M-Th

6:45 am Beit Halevi (Sfardi) S, T, W, F

Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th

Ohr Hatorah T, W, F

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M, Th

6:50 am Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah M, Th Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F

Chabad of Upper Montgomery County M-F

6:55 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah T, W, F

7:00 am Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F

Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S Silver Spring Jewish Center S

BETHESDA

Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah T, W, F

Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac T,W,F

7:05 am Kesher Israel M, Th

7:15 am Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th

Kesher Israel T, W, F

Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue M-F

Ohr Hatorah S

7:30 am Chabad of DC M-F Chabad of Potomac M-F JROC M-F

Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F

Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) M-F

7:45 am YGW (Yeshiva Session Only) S-F

8:00 am Beth Sholom Congregation S

Kemp Mill Synagogue S

Kesher Israel S

Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY S

Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S

8:00 am Chabad of Upper Montgomery County S

Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah S YGW (High School; School-Contingent) S-F

Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) S

8:15 am Ohr Hatorah S Kehilat Pardes / Berman Hebrew Academy S-F

Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F

8:30 am Chabad of DC S Chabad of Potomac S JROC S Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue S Silver Spring Jewish Center S YGW (Summer Only) S-F

8:45 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S-F

9:00 am Chabad of Silver Spring S Kemp Mill Synagogue S

mincha/maariv Before Shkiah, S-TH

Beit Halevi (Sfardi)

Beth Sholom Congregation

Chabad of Potomac

Chabad of Silver Spring

Chabad of Upper Montgomery County

JROC

Kemp Mill Synagogue

Kesher Israel

Magen David Sephardic Congregation

Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue Ohr Hatorah

Silver Spring Jewish Center

Southeast Hebrew Congregation, Knesset Yehoshua Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah

Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac

Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Asheknaz) Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sefarhadi) maariv

8:15 pm OSTT (OLNEY) S-Th SHC, Knesset Yehoshua M-Th

8:45 pm YGW

1:50 pm YGW Summer

2:15 pm Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F

2:20 pm YGW School Days

2:45 pm YGW S-Th

4:30 pm Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY S-Th mincha

9:00

9:30

9:45 pm Ohr Hatorah M-Th

10:00 pm YGW

shacharis

As of January 2024, there were 438,500 Jews in France; 400,000 in Canada; 313,000 in Great Britain; 170,000 in Argentina; 125,000 in Germany; 123,000 in Russia; and 117,000 in Australia. Other communities with significant amounts of Jews include: Brazil (90,300); South Africa (49,500); Hungary (45,000); Mexico (41,000); Holland (35,000); Ukraine (32,000); and Belgium (29,000). Italy, Switzerland, Uruguay, Chile, Turkey, Sweden, Spain, Austria, and Panama are also home to large Jewish communities.

The population of the world is more than 8.1 billion people.

Nobel Prize Winners

The 2024 Nobel Prize announcements this week began with the prestigious award in Physiology or Medicine, which was given to Americans Victor Ambros and Gary Ruvkun for their groundbreaking discovery of microRNA. Their work revealed how this small RNA molecule regulates gene expression, providing critical insights into cellular processes and their role in disease mechanisms such as cancer. This discovery, initially met with skepticism, revolutionized the understanding of gene regulation across species.

In Physics, John J. Hopfield and Geoffrey Hinton were awarded for pioneering contributions to artificial neural networks, which are foundational in machine learning. Their work has enabled vast advancements in artificial intelligence, influencing modern technologies like image and speech recognition.

Hinton has been widely credited as a godfather of artificial intelligence and made headlines when he quit his job at Google last year to be able to more easily speak about the dangers of the technology he had pioneered.

“We have no experience of what it’s like to have things smarter than us,” Hinton said to the Nobel press conference, speaking from a hotel in California. “It’s going to be wonderful in many respects, in areas like health-

care. But we also have to worry about a number of possible bad consequences. Particularly the threat of these things getting out of control.”

Hopfield, 91, a professor emeritus at Princeton University, created an associative memory that can store and reconstruct images and other types of patterns in data, the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, which awards the prize, said.

As for the Nobel Peace Prize, the announcement is set for October 11. Winners in Chemistry and Literature will also be revealed soon. The award comes with a prize sum of 11 million Swedish crowns ($1.1 million) which is shared by the winners in each category.

France Bans Bin Laden’s Son

Omar bin Laden, son of terrorist Osama bin Laden, has been banned from France, France’s interior minister announced on Tuesday.

Omar had been living in France’s Normandy region but left the country in October 2023 after French authorities withdrew his residency papers and ordered him out, the Interior Ministry said. At the time, authorities also barred him from returning to France for two years, the ministry added. This week, French Interior Minister Bruno Retailleau said he imposed an additional ban to ensure that Omar bin Laden “will not be able to return to France for any reason whatsoever.” The minister said that the jihadist’s son “posted comments on his social networks in 2023 that advocated terrorism.”

“As a result, the prefect of Orne issued an order to leave French territory,” Retailleau said. “The courts have confirmed the legality of this decision taken in the interests of national security.”

Omar, 43, was born in Saudi Arabia and has lived in Sudan and Afghanistan. He left his father at the age of 19 and eventually settled in Normandy in northern France in 2016 and became an artist. He had lived in France as a spouse of a British national.

Omar bin Laden’s marriage to

The Week In News

British woman Jane Felix-Browne, a grandmother who had been divorced five times previously and is over two decades his senior, had caused considerable media interest when it was confirmed in 2007. After they married, she took on the Muslim name of Zaina Mohammed. Omar wanted to live in the United Kingdom, but his bid was rejected by the British authorities.

Osama bin Laden is believed to have had more than two dozen children. U.S. special forces killed the al-Qaeda founder in Pakistan in 2011.

Marburg Virus

An outbreak of the Marburg virus in Rwanda is concerning American officials. As of next week, travelers coming into the United States who have been in Rwanda in the previous 21 days will be screened for the disease.

Marburg virus is a rare but deadly hemorrhagic disease like Ebola. Officials say the risk in the U.S. is low and there have been no confirmed cases in the country. Still, HHS says the U.S.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention will begin public health entry screening the week of October 14 in an effort to reduce the risk of the importation and spread of cases.

The CDC is also issuing a Level 3 Travel Health Notice, recommending that people reconsider nonessential travel to Rwanda and sending automated texts to air travelers arriving from Rwanda to share information and instructions.

As of Monday, there have been 56 confirmed cases of Marburg in Rwanda, with 36 people in isolation and treatment and 12 deaths, according to the Ministry of Health. Many of the cases are in health-care workers, the CDC says.

Marburg is a virus that naturally

occurs in fruit bats and is in the same family as the Ebola virus. Marburg can spread from human to human when someone comes into contact with bodily fluids from a person who’s been infected. People can also get sick after handling a patient’s clothing or bedding. It is not an airborne virus.

It can take up to three weeks for symptoms to develop after someone has been exposed to the virus. The illness typically starts with a rash and fever. People may vomit and have a severe headache and muscle aches. In severe cases, patients may bleed from the nose, gums and eyes, and internal bleeding manifests as blood in vomit, urine and stool. Severe blood loss can lead to shock and death in up to 90% of cases.

White House National Security Council spokesperson Sean Savett said in a statement Monday that the U.S. government is working closely with Rwanda to control the outbreak.

“Since learning of this outbreak, the United States has committed to making nearly $11 million available to address urgent health needs in Rwan-

da and surrounding countries, including support for surveillance and contact tracing, infection prevention and control guidance, and exit screening at Rwanda’s airport and neighboring border crossings,” he said. “Although there are currently no FDA-approved vaccines or drugs against MVD, the United States contributed hundreds of investigational vaccine doses and a small number of investigational therapeutics doses, which arrived in Rwanda this weekend.”

IDF Pounds Hezbollah

Since the IDF launched its limited ground campaign into Lebanon, over 440 Hezbollah terrorists have been killed in combat and in airstrikes, as the

Israeli military works to dismantle the terror group and its tunnels, command centers, and weapon storage facilities.

Lt. Gen. Herzi Halevi, the IDF chief of staff, stated that Israel “must continue exerting pressure on Hezbollah and creating additional and lasting damage to the enemy, without relief and without allowing a respite for the organization.”

In a statement Saturday, the IDF announced that it targeted a number of terrorists in a Hezbollah command center inside of a mosque in the Martyr Salah Ghandour Hospital compound, which is located in Bint Jbeil, Lebanon. The precise overnight strike, which was made possible thanks to intelligence, targeted terrorists who were, according to the Israeli army, in the command room “to plan and carry out acts of terror against IDF troops and the State of Israel.”

Local residents were notified by the IDF via text message prior to the strike. The military also contacted officials, “demanding that all acts of terror carried out at the hospital cease immediately.”

Over the past few days, a Hezbollah rocket hit Deir al-Asad, an Arab village in northern Israel, slightly injuring three people, who were brought to Galilee Medical Center. Another ten people in the village were treated for acute anxiety by Magen David Adom. An apartment building in Karmiel was also damaged by a rocket. Hezbollah fired other rockets at various locations in Israel, although they were either intercepted or landed in open areas.

As part of the ongoing operation, many Hezbollah tunnel shafts in Lebanon have been destroyed, including one that was 250 meters long. Many weapons caches, observation posts, and rocket launching sites in southern Lebanon were also destroyed by the IDF.

“These compounds were to be used by Hezbollah terrorists in a [potential] attack on the Galilee communities… Yesterday we destroyed this tunnel,” IDF Spokesman Rear Adm. Daniel Hagari pointed out.

The Israeli military has also started a “military blockade” to prevent weapons from entering Lebanon and eliminated all of Lebanon’s “military”

crossings into Syria and a civilian crossing through which Hezbollah has previously smuggled weapons.

Meanwhile, Israel has been persistently targeting top Hezbollah officials. After assassinating Hassan Nasrallah, the terror group’s leader, the IDF struck Hashem Safieddine, who was next in line for Nasrallah’s job. The Israeli military suspects that Safieddine, whom Hezbollah has lost contact with, was killed in the attack.

Yazidi Woman Rescued from Gaza

In 2014, when Fawzi Amin Sido was eleven years old, she was kidnapped by ISIS from her home in Iraq and sold to a man in the Gaza Strip. Now, at age twenty-one, ten years later, she has been rescued and returned to her family thanks to a complex Israel-led operation.

“The young girl was extracted from the Gaza Strip in recent days in a secret operation through the Kerem Shalom crossing. After crossing into Israel, she was taken to Jordan via the Allenby Crossing and then on to her family in Iraq,” the Israeli military said, adding that her terrorist captor had recently perished in an Israeli strike.

The IDF pointed to the woman’s captivity as evidence of the “connection between the Hamas terror group and the Islamic State and further evidence of the crimes against humanity that the murderous terror group was carrying out in Gaza.”

According to the Iraqi Foreign Ministry, which did not mention Israel in its statement, the operation was carried out “in high coordination” with the U.S. embassies in Amman and Baghdad. According to the U.S. State Department, the U.S. “helped to safely evacuate from Gaza a young Yazidi woman to be reunited with her family in Iraq” on October 1.

Steve Maman, a Jewish activist nicknamed the “Jewish Schindler,” advocated endlessly for the girl’s release.

“I made a promise to Fawzia the Yazidi who was hostage of Hamas in Gaza that I would bring her back home

The Week In News

to her mother in Sinjar,” Maman posted on social media. “To her, it seemed surreal and impossible but not to me. My only enemy was time. Our team reunited her moments ago with her mother and family in Sinjar.”

Sido is a part of the Yazidi, a religious minority group whose members live primarily in Iraq and Syria. In 2014, over 5,000 Yazidi members were murdered in what the United Nations considers a genocide, while over 6,000 others were kidnapped by ISIS terrorists in Iraq’s Sinjar region. Many females, including Sido, were trafficked and sold into slavery, while young males were brainwashed into becoming terrorist soldiers. Since then, over 3,500 Yazidis have been released or rescued, but 2,600 remain missing.

Terror in Beersheba

On Sunday afternoon, a terrorist

Sgt. Shira Suslik, 19, was killed in the attack when the gunman entered the station in the southern city and opened fire at people at a McDonald’s.

The terrorist was identified as Ahmad al-Uqbi, 29, an Israeli citizen from the unrecognized Bedouin village of Uqbi, near Hura. He is said to have a prior criminal record and was killed at the scene. His relative had carried out a deadly terror shooting in the Beersheba central bus station in 2015.

In November 2023, Suslik posted on Instagram about celebrating her 19th birthday in the shadow of war, writing that the situation “gives even more meaning to the privilege I have

form.” She has three siblings.

Tarin Yaakobov, the manager of the McDonald’s branch, said that “we heard gunshots and then we saw the terrorist spraying gunfire with his weapon. He shattered all the glass [windows]. We closed the door of the freezer and hid inside. We held the door closed so he couldn’t enter, and 15 minutes later, we went back out.”

Following the attack, Transportation Minister Miri Regev said the families of terrorists should be deported. “The time has come for a deterrent punishment that prevents attacks on Israeli territory,” she tweeted.

Yisrael Beiteinu party chairman Avigdor Liberman also tweeted a message in favor of deporting the family members of terrorists, noting that his faction had put forward such a bill earlier this year that passed an initial reading but did not advance further. He accused the government of “wasting time as we pay the price for it in human life.”

“I call on the members of the government and the Knesset speaker to hold a special session of the Knesset plenum and to pass [the bill] this week,”

he added. “The blood of our brothers and sisters is not [spilled] in vain.”

Daniel Sofer, Tal Dror, HY”D

Last Thursday, the Islamic Resistance in Iraq, an Iranian proxy group, fired two unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV) at the Golan Heights, killing two 19-year-old soldiers from the Golani Brigade’s 13th Battalion: Sgt. Daniel Aviv Haim Sofer, a signals officer cadet from Ashkelon, and Cpl. Tal Dror, an IT specialist from Jerusalem. Twenty-four others were injured, with two sustaining serious wounds. The Iraqi terrorist organization fired

two drones into Israel. The first rocket triggered sirens, but no alarms sounded after the second UAV entered Israeli airspace, prompting an IDF investigation into the matter.

The Islamic Resistance in Iraq claimed responsibility for the attack, which was the group’s first serious strike. Although the terrorist organization has fired many rockets into Israel, most have been intercepted or landed in open areas. The IDF confirmed that the terror group was responsible, stating that the drone came from “the east.”

That night, the Israeli Air Force intercepted a drone that flew over Israel’s Beit She’an Valley.

A week ago, an Iraqi-launched rocket hit the Eilat port. Two individuals were lightly wounded from that attack and some damage was caused.

A Tragic Anniversary

It has been one year since the tragic day of October 7, when Hamas terrorists invaded southern Israel, murdering 1,200 people, maiming thousands others, and abducting 251 hostages, over 100 of whom remain in the Gaza Strip to this very day.

On the anniversary of the massacre, the Israel Defense Forces released new data, revealing that the Israeli military eliminated 17,000 terrorists inside the Gaza Strip and another 1,000 terrorists on October 7 inside of Israel. According to the IDF, eight Hamas brigade commanders and over thirty battalion commanders were eliminated, while over 165 Hamas company commanders were also killed. The Military Intelligence Directorate’s Unit 504 has questioned around 7,000 Gazan suspects.

Inside Gaza, around 4,700 tunnel shafts were found by the Israeli military and around 40,300 targets were struck. Over the past year, the IDF has killed over 800 Hezbollah terrorists in Lebanon, including ninety commanders, and has hit almost 11,000 Hezbollah positions.

Since October 7, more than 26,000

projectiles, including rockets, missiles, and drones, have been fired at Israel from several countries, 13,200 of which were launched from the Strip, 12,400 from Lebanon, 400 from Iran, 180 from Yemen, and approximately 60 from Syria. Those numbers didn’t include rockets launched by Hamas and Hezbollah that failed and landed within Gaza and Lebanon respectively.

Since the massacre, 729 Israeli soldiers, reservists, and local security officials have been murdered, 347 of whom were killed as part of Israel’s ground campaign into Gaza. Another 4,576 have been injured. Additionally, 56 IDF soldiers have died from friendly fire or military incidents in Gaza.

In the West Bank, 5,250 Palestinian criminals have been detained, over 2,050 of whom had ties with Hamas. Around 690 assailants, rioters, and terrorists have also been eliminated in the West Bank since October 7. Additionally, the Israeli military launched 150 brigade-level raids in the West Bank and destroyed 30 homes of Palestinian terrorist suspects.

Port Strike Ends

Last Tuesday, 50,000 port workers from the International Longshoremen’s Association (ILA) union went on strike, pausing the flow of goods from U.S. ports situated between Maine and Texas. In a statement released last Thursday, the ILA announced that the strike would end the following day in light of an agreement reached between the union and the United States Maritime Alliance (USMX), the company that manages the ILA.

As part of the preliminary deal, workers will receive a yearly $4-perhour raise over the span of their sixyear contract. Currently, the port workers are paid $39 an hour, and in one year will receive a more than 10% raise. Five wage increases later, their pay will likely be 62% higher than it

The Week In News

is now. In return, the union agreed to come back to work and extend their contract with the USMX, which expired on Monday, until January 15. In the meantime, the deal must be finalized by ILA’s rank-and-file.

“Today’s tentative agreement on a record wage and an extension of the collective bargaining process represents critical progress towards a strong contract,” U.S. President Joe Biden said. “I congratulate the dockworkers from the ILA, who deserve a strong contract after sacrificing so much to keep our ports open during the pandemic. And I applaud the port operators and carriers who are members of the U.S. Maritime Alliance for working hard and putting a strong offer on the table.”

Kamala Harris, the vice president and Democratic presidential nominee, echoed Biden’s statement, saying: “This is about fairness — and our economy works best when workers share in record profits. Dockworkers deserve a fair share for their hard work getting essential goods out to communities across America.”

The strike could have had serious economic consequences especially with the upcoming holiday season, blocking the flow of all sorts of goods, from cars to fruits. Although Biden played a role in encouraging and pressuring the parties to end the strike, he refused to use his presidential powers under the Taft-Hartley Act to stop what could have been a disastrous walkout. The president instead insisted that he wouldn’t interfere but would allow the parties to negotiate.

Safest Cities

Want to walk around without fear? Consider moving to South Burlington, Vermont, found to be the safest city in the United States.

Researchers from WalletHub compared 182 cities, including the 150 most populated U.S. cities and at least two of the most populated cities in each state. The team focused on three key dimensions to determine their findings: home and community safety , the risk of natural

disasters, and financial safety.

After examining 41 different metrics in those three fields and creating a 100-point scale to grade them, researchers found that South Burlington finished head and shoulders above any other city. The Vermont community, with roughly 20,000 residents, ranked in the top 10 of all three major categories, finishing first overall in terms of financial safety.

Memphis, Tennessee, was not so lucky, falling to the bottom of the list from spot number 176 last year.

South Burlington had the lowest unemployment rate and second-lowest percentage of residents living without insurance. South Burlington is relatively safe from natural disasters, ranking low for the risk of floods, tornadoes, and wildfires.

Casper, Wyoming, came in second on the safest list. Warwick, Rhode Island; Burlington, Vermont; and Boise, Idaho, rounded out the top five. Columbia, Maryland , (8th) ranked as the safest U.S. city when it

comes to home and community safety. Juneau, Alaska, (16th) ranked as the safest community from natural disasters.

Detroit, Michigan, nabbed the ignoble spot of 181, right above Memphis. Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; and New Orleans, Louisiana, rounded out the five least safe cities in the county.

While researchers found major disparities between the safest and least safe cities, there was one factor in this year’s rankings that appears to be affecting every American metropolis: overall scores for safety are getting lower everywhere. While 2023’s safest city carried an overall score of 86 out of 100, South Burlington could only manage a score of 74.15.

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Torah Thought LeT go!

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

If Teshuva preceded the world, and our Torah is the blueprint for the universe, and all the actions of our Avos are a portent for their descendants — it would seem reasonable to assume that the instructions for this marvelous gift of repentance be apparent in the life and times of the Avos.

The Midrash asserts that Reuven the firstborn son of Yaakov Avinu introduced this notion of Teshuvah to the world. He is the sole individual who identified as a הבושת לעב — ‘master of Repentance’.

The ‘sin’ that Reuven repented for, that earned him this honorary title was his ‘tampering with his father’s bed’. After the death of Rachel, Yaakov established his primary residence in the tent of Bilhah, Rachel’s maidservant. Reuven considering it an affront to his mother on his own initiative removed and placed Yaakov’s bed in his mother Leah’s tent.

Although the Torah depicts this act as his ‘having lain with Bilhah’ the Talmud declares that anyone accusing Reuven of having sinned is clearly mistaken.

So despite never having actually ‘sinned’, nevertheless, Reuven’s contrition serves as the paradigm for all ‘repentance’.

On his deathbed, Yaakov admonishes Reuven, taking him to task for his םימכ זחפ — ‘water-like impetuosity’ that led to the desecration of his bed, more than for the ‘sin’ itself.

It seems clear that a full ‘return to G-d’ is not as much related to addressing the sin per se as it is in getting to the core of the cause.

Originally, Reuven was designated as the, רוכב — Firstborn of Yaakov and privileged in accepting that position of honor as well as the role of ךלמ — King, and that of הנוהכ — Priesthood, serving in the Temple.

Yaakov relinquished those responsibilities and distributed them to Yosef as

the B’chor, Yehuda as Melech, and Levi to serve in the Temple.

But didn’t Levi also err and was taken to task for his ‘accursed intense rage’ when he decimated the populace of Shechem for having ravaged his sister Dinah?

If Reuven indeed achieved repentance, so why then was he not restored to his former greatness? Doesn’t genuine Teshuva not only undo the damage but transform into merits?

Every sin is an act of impulsivity. We know better but cannot control ourselves.

What fuels impetuosness? The answer is emotion.

Passion is a powerful engine that drives us to act impulsively.

Anger is the overwhelming emotion that so often befuddles our thinking prodding us to act mindlessly.

So the bigger question is what stokes anger? The obvious answer is our ego. Everyone needs to be valued and feel important and purposeful. This is innate human need. But too often our notion of who we are is determined by who admires us and how we measure up to superficial measures of success.

When someone offends us, or when we feel unworthy, we get frustrated and try to grab for straws that will give us some sense of control and happiness. But that does not truly make us worthy, it is merely an artificial infusion of ‘self’ that wanes quickly.

Only someone who is true to themselves, recognizing one’s own talents and abilities striving to contribute to the world around us by fulfilling our unique role effectively and purposefully, will discover true happiness.

It must be framed of course in a higher set of eternal values that are the true determinant of what is considered real success.

Torah is the source of life. Our being is defined by our connection to Torah, in its reflection of G-d’s will. When we live with a sense that G-d is with me at any given moment, both in failure and success, and He loves and values those struggles and efforts towards coming closer to Him like no other can, and cherishes us, only then will we be equipped to ward off the ego’s attempts to stoke our inner fires.

Leah names her child ןבואר — Reuven, because האר — he saw my pain and blessed me with a child. She then adds, ‘for now my husband will love me’

The simple understanding of this verse turns Reuven into a vehicle to warrant appreciation from her husband Yaakov, who she senses loves Rachel more than her.

Is that a healthy attitude for a child to grow up with? Doesn’t that convey a subtle message that my worth is determined by how others relate to me? If people love me does that indicate my true inner worth?

I believe that what Leah was teaching us is that in the false world of values, when one feels unworthy it leads to frustration and the need to try and win the affection of others to then feel valued.

She had an epiphany when she was blessed with a child. She felt G-d validating her worthiness to be the first to mother the future of the Jewish people. Leah realized that all one needs to see through the clouds of struggle is an affirmation that I serve a purpose independent of the adulation of others. It is in that selfless devotion, empty of ego, knowing I am a vehicle for the Honor of Heaven, that permits one to be free from any other source of worth.

She was no longer looking for greater affection from Yaakov. She was now able to sense his love, accepting it even if it was not as intense as his love for Rachel. She was no longer in need of anything else other than the awareness that she is worthy in G-d’s eyes.

Perhaps Reuven grew up not fathoming this message, misreading his mother’s naming him as a tool for affection, rather than understanding it as the key to her relationship to G-d, and to herself, that she rejoiced over, that permitted her to view the world objectively.

Until his impulsive reaction to right the wrong that was done to his mother’s honor, Reuven was fueled by the external measures of honor and dishonor, permitting his blinded perception to entitle him to assert himself and act accordingly.

The Talmud teaches that Reuven only later fulfilled the last step of teshuva, יודיו — confession, when he observed Yehuda publicly declare his complicity in the episode of Tamar, admitting that he was the one who fathered her child.

At that juncture he realized that our honor, i.e., ego, plays no role when fulfilling the will of G-d. If we do what is right by the Torah then we have truly found ourselves.

From that moment he began to comprehend that if we can shackle our ego, then we can remain calm, never resorting to impulsive anger that fuels our impetuousness, with all its consequences.

He was also called Reuven, the Midrash adds, because his name is a contraction of ןב ואר, ‘see my son’, relating to his mother’s proud reflection of how different this firstborn is from the firstborn of her father-in-laws firstborn, Esav. Reuven not only happily relinquished his firstborn rights to Yosef, but he even sought to save his life, unlike Esav who sold it and sought to murder his brother Yaakov.

Only when he finally understood his dear mother’s profound lesson in the evolution of sin, did he understand that titles and honor do not define a person’s worth, it is one’s adherence to the will of G-d and the knowledge of how much G-d cherishes us for that. No wonder he didn’t blink when he relinquished his rights to others. He specifically never retrieved them so could show how happiness and success is measured in our relationship with G-d.

Yosef, the reflection of his father Yaakov, the epitome of תמא — truth, represents the mindfulness of G-d’s will as the sole factor of happiness with self.

Yehuda represents utter selflessness, true royalty, who is there solely for others.

Levi represents healthy passion, that he honed by rising to healthy reactivity to the Moshe’s call “Whoever is for Hashem, join me!’

We are summoned on Yom Kippur: ... ורהטת 'ד ינפל — before Hashem you shall be cleansed

That is where it all starts. Before Hashem!

When that is the sole yardstick for all our actions and being, the path to Teshuva is ready to begin.

We must LeT go, of our little ego, so we will be left to Live and Thrive!

You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ ohelmoshebaltimore.com

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PARSHA

OVERVIEW

Moshe Rabbeinu gives the Jewish people his final blessings before he passes away. Each tribe is given a unique blessing. Moshe goes up to Mount Nevo, Hashem shows him the Land of Israel. He is told he can only see it with his eyes, but cannot cross over to it. Moshe passed away at the age of 120. Yeshua is filled with a spirit of wisdom to take over as the leader.

If we want to fight antisemitism, let us walk tall and proud as Jews, and let us work with all humanity to banish hatred forever.

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Inspiration Everywhere

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks zt”l

GEMATRIA

The Torah ends with the letter ל , and it starts again with a ב (from תישארב ). Together, the ל and ב spells בל , a reference to the heart of the Jew. The totality of the Torah is ensconced by the two letters, ל and ב , teaching us to live our lives with meaning, heartfulness, and passion!

Rabbi Ori Strum is the author of Ready. Set. Grow. (Mosaica Press).

His shiurim and other Jewish content can be found on Torah Anytime and Meaningful Minute. He also likes your feedback: rabbistrumo@gmail.com

QUICK VORT

In one of the most dramatic moments of the Torah, we are informed about the passing of the greatest Jewish leader to ever walk the face of the Earth.

Moshe Rabbeinu, in his final moments, is granted permission to stand atop Mount Nevo and rest his eyes upon the beauty of Eretz Yisroel. But he was not allowed access to cross over into the land.

The very next passuk (34:5) tells us:

-Moshe, the SERVANT of G-d, died there.

Moshe Rabbeinu, the greatest leader, the man who took the Jewish people out of Egypt, the man who pleaded for our existence, the man who was the most humble person, the man who received the Torah directly from Hashem...

After everything he did and accomplished, is called an EVED HASHEM. That is the greatest title one can hope to attain in life.

Have a holy Shabbos!

Pesukim - 41

The Mezritcher Maggid teaches us that on the last day of Moshe Rabbeinu’s life, he was granted access to the lofty and elusive “50th Gate.” And in fact, this is alluded to in the word ובנ, Moshe went up to Mount Nevo. The word ובנ can be read: וב ’נ (the 50th is in him).

TParshas Vzos HaBracha is the ONLY parshah that we DO NO read on a Shabbos. Instead, it is read on Simchas Torah.

Think about why...

Parshas V’zos Habracha on

*Imaging for illustration only

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A Mother of 12 in the Halls of Power

Rivka Ravitz Talks About Meeting the Pope, Bathing Her Kids, and Needing to Eat Apples All Week Long

By Malkie SchulMan

‘‘There was a point in my career where juggling home and work felt too difficult, and I was seriously thinking of leaving my job, “shares Rivka Ravitz, former chief of staff for former President of Israel Reuven Rivlin. But at that point, Rivka continues, she realized that the job had become bigger than her. “It was no longer about me and my family. I represented someone more than Mrs. Rivka Ravitz, charedi mom of 12 and wife of the deputy mayor of Beitar, Yitzchak Ravitz. Young charedi women were looking at me. They wanted to see how and if I could handle my family and my high-profile, demanding career. I knew I couldn’t let them down. I needed to show them that it was possible to juggle both.”

Rivka also recognized that as a charedi woman in the government, she was uniquely poised to help her community. The charedi community had needs, and she was right there in the room, so to speak – in the Knesset – where big decisions were constantly being made. Besides, she explains, “as a charedi mother, I was able to explain our needs the most effectively. For example, when the discussion was about raising the price of fruits and vegetables, I was there to explain what that means to a family of 12. Most of the individuals involved in the discussion were young professionals with not even one child to feed.” Although that’s not why Rivka was hired, Knesset members got the benefit (as, of course, did she) of the point of view of a charedi mom.

Not a Coffee Maker

Rivka began her career in politics quite unromantically. She was married at age 18½ to a kollel yungerman, and she needed a job. So, Rivka went into the “family business.” Her father-in-law, Avrohom Ravitz, was then a member of the Knesset for the Charedi Degel HaTorah party, and he hired her to work in his office.

“I was still in seminary in the morning, but in the afternoon, I’d work for my father-in-law,” Rivka recalls.

After she left seminary, Rivka became the financial

advisor for the finance committee of the Knesset.

“Financial advisor is an important position in Israel,” shares Rivka, “I learned a lot. I had to work with the army budget as well as health and education finances.”

In 2000, Rivka was forced out of her father-in-law’s office by a new law that stated that first-degree relatives couldn’t work together in the same party. She started working for then-MK Ruvi (Reuven) Rivlin of the Likud party, who soon afterwards became Minister of Communications. At age 23, Rivka became the head of his office which, until that time, had never had a charedi staff member – let alone a charedi female staff member running the office, Rivka points out.

After that, from 2003-2006, Rivlin was elected speaker of the Knesset and then was re-elected again in 2009.

“I had lots of campaigns I was running for him,” shares Rivka. “In fact, it was Rivlin’s idea that Arik Sharon run for prime minister, so I ran that campaign for him as well.”

On a sad side note, the Gush Katif tragedy essentially orchestrated by Arik Sharon was where Rivlin and Sharon made their split.

“That’s when I clearly saw the truth of the Torah saying, ‘Lev mlochim b’yad Hashem,’” says Rivka. “Sharon had built those settlements and now it was like a dybbuk was in him, pushing him to destroy them. Those days were difficult for all of us.”

“In those years,” continues Rivka, “not only was there no other charedi woman working in politic,s but there were no women at all.” Not because of prejudice, she explains, but just because Knesset hours are not suited for a typical working mom. A normal workday in the Knesset begins at 8 am and finishes at 7 pm. And that doesn’t take into account the days when Knesset members and their staff pull overnighters because there are major items that need to be voted on.

Perhaps because there were no women working there, and certainly not in senior positions, Rivka recalls in her first few years on the job, whenever older Knesset mem-

Accompanying President Rivlin and Prince William on a visit to Jerusalem in 2018

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bers saw her, they’d ask her to bring them a cup of coffee. “I’d say, ‘There’s a coffee urn at the end of the hall.’ They thought I was the coffee girl. They didn’t know I was the advisor of the financial committee.” It came to a point, Rivka says, that instead of having to constantly tell them who she was (or who she wasn’t) that she just removed the urn from her room. “Ever since then,” she adds, with a laugh, “I don’t drink coffee anymore, only water. “

Older Knesset members’ faulty perceptions notwithstanding, at age 28, Rivka found herself chief of staff for the Speaker of the Knesset overseeing a staff of 400.

“My job included overseeing the management of various committees, organizing the budget, running Rivlin’s various campaigns which typically included PR work, managing the advertising, strategizing, and working out the budget.”

By the time Rivlin was Speaker of the Knesset for the second time, Rivka had just given birth to twins – her 8th and 9th children.

“I got a lot of help and support from my mother, my sisters and especially my husband,” maintains Rivka. “Sometimes, I’d come home so discouraged, and my husband would say, ‘You can do it, Rivka, go for it. You’re smarter than them.” The truth is, Rivka admits, “I always enjoyed my job. I just didn’t like the politics part of it that much.”

Of course, leaving family was never easy. “I remember when I went to India. This was when Rivlin was president, and we did a lot of traveling. As a rule, we usually were home for Shabbos, but this time, we were away for ten days. I missed my son’s birthday party. I remember crying and feeling so miserable.”

A Charedi in a Non-Charedi World

When Rivka switched to work for the non-religious Likud party, that’s when her situation became more complicated. Although, of course, the non-religious MKs and their staff were familiar with the concept of Shabbos, most of them had no idea that meant that she couldn’t answer her phone for 26 hours. Some people got annoyed; some religious people even said it was pikuach nefesh and she could answer the phone on Shabbos. Most people, however, were understanding.

The truth is, Rivka says, “Rivlin was nice and understanding about pretty much everything. He was a very pleasant person to work for. You can tell by the fact that he always had a small staff turnover rate in his office. We all enjoyed working for him, so we stayed. We felt like family.”

Rivka particularly appreciates Rivlin’s consideration for her “special needs” – like taking maternity leave every other year. Not that she ever took the typical maternity leave that moms in other professions take. “Especially if there were primary elections, budget, or other important issues coming up, I needed to come back really fast, like in a matter of weeks,” Rivka says.

And yes, sometimes people would make snide comments, like when she’d arrive at the office in maternity clothes, a colleague might tease that she was having so many children in order to get more Bituach Leumi (national insurance). “I can’t say I always appreciated their jokes,” she admits. In general, however, maintains Rivka, she never felt personally attacked because of her

religious beliefs. “I didn’t work on Chol hamoed, Purim, Tisha B’Av either, and although I know there were colleagues who weren’t thrilled about it, we always maintained a respectful relationship.”

As far as hot topics like conversion issues and the army draft, Rivka says, “I tried to steer clear of those conversations. It’s one thing as a philosophical debate, that I could handle.” But if someone would start to lambast charedim as a group, Rivka would avoid the conversation altogether or if she couldn’t avoid it, she might say something like, “What would you say if a German said such a thing about a Jew; would you like to hear that?” That would usually be effective in shutting down negativity.

Interestingly, Rivka says that the animosity you read about in the papers between Knesset members is not always accurate. Aryeh Deri is good friends with Avigdor Lieberman, she says. “I’m friends with Yair Lapid of Yesh Atid and his wife. We go out for coffee every few weeks. It can look really bad on TV, but if you go into the ‘miznon Knesset ’ (Knesset dining room), you see those who were recently virulently attacking each other on the Knesset floor laughing together in the dining room.”

Family Considerations

While the Knesset staff were generally respectful of Rivka’s time away from work, the same couldn’t always be said of Rivka’s children’s feelings about her time away from home.

“We’d pass by the Knesset or the President’s house in the car on the way to a park and one kid would turn to the other and say, ‘Uch, don’t look, that’s where Mommy works.’ Also, we’d often find notes around the house before I left for a job-related trip saying, ‘Mommy, don’t go.’ The truth is,” shares Rivka, “it was a sacrifice on everybody’s part. I missed some important milestones in my children’s lives. My mother who was babysitting would call and tell me that my child’s first tooth came out or share that my baby took his first steps that day. It was hard not being there then. But as much as my children complained about my absence, if something was in the newspaper about me, they would cut it out and show it to their friends. They were proud of the work I was doing, and they always wanted me to share stories about what happened.”

Nevertheless, Rivka makes sure that home time is sacred.

“I will put my phone away when I’m home. I make sure to look into my children’s eyes when I speak to them and really listen to them.”

Rivka also makes sure that she and her husband have time alone together every week. “Usually, on Friday, my husband and I will go away for a few hours, maybe out to eat or for a walk.”

When phone calls do come through when she’s at home, Rivka will do her best to either not take the call at all or minimize time spent on the phone. She humorously recalls the time when, in the middle of bathing her children, she received a phone call from then-Prime Minister Arik Sharon. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. “I’ll call you back later.’”

Rivka strongly believes that her work in the Knesset benefited the charedi population. When she worked

She humorously recalls the time when, in the middle of bathing her children, she received a phone call from then-Prime Minister Arik Sharon. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized.

“I’ll call you back later.’”

Meeting with the Pope

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with her father-in-law, there were laws the nonreligious parties were trying to pass against the charedi community. “We worked hard to prevent them from drafting yeshiva students into the army, for example.” It’s a difficult situation, admits Rivka, especially when trying to explain the issue to a nonreligious Israeli mother of a soldier. “Non-religious Israelis have no concept of the holiness of learning Torah, of why we believe that the learning of our boys is as important to the safety of our country as sending their boys to fight. To them, it’s ‘we endanger our lives and you sit in the beis midrash.’ It’s almost impossible to expect someone not raised charedi to understand the tremendous value of learning Torah.”

The only thing that has been somewhat helpful in bridging the divide is when Rivka tries to get the other side to see that we’re operating from a different point of view. If the other side can’t understand that from our point of view, Torah learning is vital and that the only reason the world is still existing is because of Torah study, then they can’t begin to understand why their son is on the border while my son is safe in his bed, she says. If they can begin to understand the importance to us, then possibly they can begin to understand why we are against drafting yeshiva bochurim into the army.

Meeting the Rich and Powerful

In 2014, when Rivlin became President of Israel, he offered Rivka her position of choice in his office. For the next seven years, she was his chief of staff, planning, arranging and traveling everywhere with him.

“I was 37 when I became the president’s chief of staff. The political advisor under me was a 60-year-old ambassador and my attaché was also a 60-year-old male who was head of the famed Special Tactics Rescue Unit 669, the Israel Defense Forces heliborne Combat Search and Rescue extraction unit. In the beginning, it was awkward,” admits Rivka.

nervous and the speech suffers. Obama came straight from the airport after a long flight, and he spoke well without even notes or prompts.” He was also courteous to Rivka and her staff, which impressed her.

Rivka met President Trump when he came to Jerusalem to open the U.S. Embassy. “I remember wondering if maybe he was Jewish, he was so friendly to us and so pro-Israel. I also appreciated how Trump included everyone in the conversation, instead of just speaking to the other president.”

Working on the inside and meeting some of the most powerful political figures of our time, I wonder what Rivka can tell me about some of these individuals.

“Over the years, I’ve met kings, queens, political and religious leaders, and I’ve learned that, at the end of the day, they’re regular people,” maintains Rivka. “They have egos, they have tempers, and they sometimes talk badly about others. It’s not always so impressive to see them up close – they may act nicely on TV, but it’s not necessarily a pleasant experience with them privately. They may be brilliant but if they don’t have yirat Shomayim (fear of Heaven) or good middot (character traits), then there’s nothing special about them.”

Character traits notwithstanding, world leaders do have more power than your average Joe, many holding the fate of millions of people in their hands. Perhaps because of this, Rivka realizes the importance of making a kiddush Hashem with everyone she meets.

In her travels, Rivka contends, kashrut is usually not a problem.

“I bring tuna and crackers wherever I go, and there’s always a Chabad house somewhere,” she says. One time, however, she left for a trip to Russia right after Sukkos and didn’t have a chance to go shopping. “Unfortunately, we didn’t get to the Chabad house until Shabbos. All I ate for the week were the apples and bananas I got from the hotel. I was starving by the time Shabbos came around!”

“Over the years, I’ve met kings, queens, political and religious leaders, and I’ve learned that, at the end of the day, they’re regular people.”

The job of the Israeli presidency is largely a ceremonial role which includes meeting world leaders and dignitaries, to keep relations with Israel and the rest of the world on good terms. Part of a president’s job also includes visiting wounded soldiers and terror victims and attending (lo aleynu) funerals of soldiers and victims of terror. Although it was easier than the daily pressure of being on the Knesset floor, working for the president included a lot of PR work both in Israel and around the world. This meant lots of traveling.

“I traveled with President Rivlin everywhere,” shares Rivka, “which means I had the opportunity and sometimes, the honor to meet many world leaders.” The list includes (but is not limited to) four U.S. presidents –Clinton, Obama, Trump and Biden – Russian Prime Minister Putin, Former Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel, President of France Emmanuel Macron, and Pope Francis. Rivka admits to being impressed by Obama, especially his speaking skills.

“I was arranging Shimon Peres’ funeral and having a difficult time getting all the state leaders to attend in a day and a half,” shares Rivka. “President Obama was not planning on attending. At the last minute, however, he changed his mind. So, his speech was impromptu. This is not typical. Every president/state leader has a speechwriter, and if something goes wrong, they get all

“When I started meeting world leaders,” continues Rivka, “my husband asked Rav Chaim Kanievsky, zt”l, regarding my requirement to recite the blessing upon meeting a king. In all instances that we asked him, we were told that I should recite the blessing without G-d’s name except for when we asked about Putin. Since Putin has the power to put people to death, Rabbi Kanievsky said that in front of him, I should recite the full blessing using G-d’s name.”

Mentioning Putin, Rivka is reminded of a story he shared with her when they met.

“He invited a small group of us for dinner, and apparently, he’d heard a member of our group was Orthodox because everything was kosher. At one point during the meal, he turned to us and said, ‘I want to tell you a childhood story.’” He revealed that as a young boy, he’d often come home after school to an empty house because his parents worked all day. He’d spend his afternoons with the friendly neighbors down the hall, a family of four children (a rarity in Russia). Interestingly, the mother would light candles every Friday evening and the family would then sit down to a festive meal. As an adult, Putin realized they were a Jewish family. Because of their kindness to him, Putin, as political leader, behaved kindlier to Jews.

Rivka thought the fact that Putin chose to relate this

President Joe Biden bowing for the mother of 12

Shmuley Serebrowski (Lakewood) & Miri Neuberger (Baltimore)

Binyamin Ostroff (Potomac) & Dvora Brocha Sommer (Monsey)

Dani Hefter (Baltimore) & Chemda Zeidel (Monsey)

Yehuda Vegh & Meira Reches (Both Baltimore)

Yisroel Kroll & Yehudis Bracha Shnidman (Baltimore)

Elimelech Neuberger (Baltimore) & Baila Fassman (Los Angeles)

Uriel Arnson (Baltimore) & Bina Stern (Flatbush)

Jared Hurwitz (Baltimore) & Sophie Steinberg (Atlanta)

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story to her was fascinating but wondered if it was even true because she wasn’t under the impression that he was particularly kind to Jews. Subsequently, however, she asked Rabbi Berel Lazar, the chief rabbi of Russia, about it, and he said he believes Putin is supportive of the Jewish community and yes, probably because of this childhood experience.

Then, of course, there’s the famous story of Rivka’s meeting with U.S. President Joe Biden.

Rivka relates that she was excited about the upcoming meeting with the president. This was the fourth American president she’d be meeting, and this time it was to take place in the Oval Office with Rivlin in what was usually a private tete-a-tete meeting between two world leaders.

“It was the beginning of Biden’s presidency term, and I’d been warned that Biden was anti-Israel. But it wasn’t true,” relates Rivka. “He and Rivlin hugged warmly, and he spoke very well of Israel.” Then Rivlin introduced Rivka as his chief of Staff, adding, “And you won’t believe how many children she has! 12!”

Biden was astounded. “I come from a Christian family, he said. “My mother would’ve loved to meet you,” Then in an unanticipated and unprecedented gesture, he kneeled before her and said, “I have to go down on my knee to honor you for having 12 children.”

“It was a good thing there was a photographer in the room,” says Rivka with a laugh. “Otherwise, I don’t think anybody would’ve believed me.”

Rivka observes the Jewish law of negiah forbidding physical contact with males outside her immediate family circle. This has sometimes presented a challenge when meeting with secular or non-Jewish male leaders. To this end, Rivka always tries to plan in advance.

“If I know I will be meeting with a leader, I send a message to the staff to alert the leader of my halachic restrictions so that when we meet, there is no embarrassing moment. This works well most times. We will nod our heads politely instead of the customary shaking hands.” If she doesn’t know enough in advance to alert anybody, Rivka says she will try to have a book or a computer to hold with both hands or she will put her hands behind her back. It will always be accompanied by an explanation that as a charedi Jewish woman, she doesn’t shake men’s hands. “Most people are fine with it, although Israelis will sometimes be cynical and make some kind of joke. I find the non-Jews very respectful,” says Rivka. For example, when President Biden attempted to shake Rivka’s hands, Rivlin was in the room and quickly explained the prohibition. The president was totally respectful of it, she says.

Another well-publicized experience involves Rivka’s meeting with the Pope. This was a very important meeting, shares Rivka.

“The Vatican had strong influential connections with the Palestinians. Our government attached tremendous importance to our meeting with the Pope. We had dozens of meetings rehearsing with us exactly how to behave. In Israel, we met with various government ministers, including the Prime Minister, and in Rome, we had a special meeting with the Israeli ambassador to the Vatican who explained the protocol,” she recalls. When Rivka heard that part of the protocol involved shaking the Pope’s hand, she immediately explained

why she couldn’t. No problem, she was told, a message will be sent beforehand, and you can simply bow your head to him. When Rivka explained she couldn’t do that either because of the cross the Pope wore, once again, the ambassador said, “Don’t worry, I’ll let the Pope know in advance.”

Unfortunately, however, Rivka discovered on the way to the Vatican that the ambassador had indeed forgotten to notify the Pope. As a result, for the entire car ride and subsequent long walk down the halls of the Vatican accompanied by a sea of cardinals, Rivka was a nervous wreck. Her colleagues at her side kept reassuring her that her rabbi would allow her to shake his hand in this case since it was so important to be in the Pope’s good graces. But, as she said, “In all my life, I had never shaken hands of another man other than my husband. It wasn’t something I was prepared to do.” All she could do at that point was pray. Nevertheless, she says, “I was sure I was going to ruin everything, and my colleagues would be so angry at me.”

Despite all the pressure, Rivka held fast to her principles. As the Pope extended his hand, Rivka began to explain her position, President Rivlin picking up her thread and continuing for her. In the end, it turns out the Pope was so impressed that she stood up for her values that he bowed to her.

Besides the handshaking incident, Rivka had to prepare in other ways for her Vatican trip. She knew she would be entering the buildings of the Vatican where there were crosses all around. Before the trip, she asked a rav and was told it was OK to walk through rooms hung with crosses as long as they were not rooms used for prayer.

Rivka has even met famous Hollywood actors, not that she watches movies and has any idea who these people are. But she shares a funny story that happened when she was in Los Angeles for a conference with President Rivlin.

“When I arrived in L.A. for the conference,” Rivka shares, “I got an email from someone named Gal Gadot inviting me to the premier of her movie called Justice League. I asked my colleagues who she was. My friends were so excited for me and told me to make sure to take a selfie with her. The funny thing is that when I went backstage to meet her, she said to me, ‘You’re the real wonder woman!’”

Life Post-Politics

President Rivlin retired in 2021, at which point Rivka also left the government.

“Incoming President Herzog asked me to join his office as Advisor for the Diaspora, but after over 24 years in politics, I needed a break,” shares Rivka.

Today, Rivka works in bilateral relations for a cybersecurity company and is a senior fellow at the Jewish People Policy Institute (JPPI) involved in a research study on charedi women in the workplace.

Does Rivka feel like she’s finished with politics? Not quite. Currently, charedi parties don’t recognize women as potential MK candidates. However, Rivka believes this will change, and when it does, she knows that with her 25 years of experience, she will be a pretty qualified candidate.

“Since Putin has the power to put people to death, Rabbi Kanievsky said that in front of him, I should recite the full blessing using G-d’s name.”

Surveying Israel's northern border in a helicopter with President Rivlin

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Some kids rush to the tub while others fight the entire walk, but bathing is an inevitable part of childhood. They enter the water full of unimaginable dirt and food particles yet emerge smelling fresh. As you wrap them in a dry towel, they leave behind dirty, sudsy water. My little ones enjoy being held up to the mirror, enjoying the reflection of themselves with their wet face and slicked back hair, being held in Mommy’s arms.

As bonding as this moment can be, it often feels futile. That clean smelling moment is just fleeting, before they rush off to play in something else dirty or add new food to their hair. As pointless as bathing seems, it’s still important to wash off the previous dirt, even if only to leave a fresh slate for the next mess. It’s a normal part of childcare and keeps them healthy by preventing an excessive accumulation of filth.

Children are constantly growing and developing. They slowly stop putting yogurt in their hair and ears, keeping it just to their faces and clothes. It takes more progress before the spills become few, and the food hits the right facial opening consistently. The cleanliness from the previously pointless bath, that once lasted just moments, will last longer and longer.

Parenting Pearls A Cleansing Fast

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

We come into Yom Kippur each year knowing we won’t be perfect the day after the fast. Sadly, many of the same wrongs will be committed once again, and our middos will still need improvement. It can feel very frustrating, like the child that walks from the bath to the dirt pile. But it’s still a tremendous bracha to be cleansed each year, not having the accumulation of our former errors. And, just like the child that slowly grows and changes, remaining cleaner from bath to bath, with Hashem’s help, our small improvements will over time yield a return to the pristine neshama that is inherently within us.

Despite the intensity, it’s a bracha to have a yearly opportunity to reflect on our actions, make goals for the future, and be forgiven for our prior mistakes. It’s hard to imagine being a growing person without this gift.

Along with this gift is the challenge of a full day fast. Because parents are so much more prone to being short-tempered during a fast, I remarked to a friend that you need to do teshuva for your teshuva. Fasting is difficult, and many people experience mood fluctuations, headaches and overall weakness. Adding children into this equation creates a very potentially

negative situation. The popularity of the “tips and tricks” section of parenting articles is a testament to the challenges parents experience on this day.

Children’s needs are unaffected by our fasting, feelings or mood. They still need to be fed, napped and loved – even as our head pounds. Young children, in particular, have trouble understanding that parents also have needs, and they won’t adjust their expectations to match our discomfort.

Food Preparations

Adults don’t need meals over Yom Kippur, but children certainly do. Prepare in-advance snacks and meals that can be easily given out on the holy day. Do whatever you can before the fast starts and leave as little as possible for the actual day. For example, sandwiches can be assembled before sh’kiyah. Snacks can be bagged in advance. When Yom Kippur falls on Shabbos like this year, many families find it easiest to prepare their usual cholent and serve that as a hot meal.

Fasting makes kids hungry. It’s not logical, but it still means parents should have plenty of filling snacks available. There are many healthy snack options, and there is

no need to serve sugar and artificial colors all day. Apples with peanut butter and cheese with crackers are among the many snacks that can fill them up without causing sugar overload.

Popcorn and similar snacks leave a major mess. Either prepare snacks that are neater or be ready to ignore the mess until after tzeis. Fasting is not the time to be on your hands and knees chasing crumbs.

The day after Yom Kippur is another day of childcare, and parents need to regain their strength after the fast ends. Have prepared something hydrating for yourself to drink as soon as the fast is over. Pace your eating to renew your strength without overloading your stomach.

Protect Your Fast

Yom Kippur is the only d’oraysa fast, and fasting is a major part of the day. It’s imperative that parents do what they need to ensure they can fast safely. This is not the day to do any physical activity other than what is absolutely necessary. Yes, you may need to chase a toddler, but you can certainly wait before chasing their crumbs and toys. I can reassure you, the crumbs and toys will still be there later.

Rest when possible and save your

strength for when you need it. This is especially important for new and expectant mothers.

Pregnant or nursing mothers and anyone with a medical condition should consult their doctor and rav well in advance. Just as there is a chiyuv to fast, there is a chiyuv to not fast when it is dangerous.

Yom Kippur With Kids

Yom Kippur with young children is a very different experience than prior to marriage. The long day of meaningful tefillos morphs into diaper changes, tantrums and providing snacks to a hungry child. It can be hard to feel the kedusha of the day resting on a couch while pregnant or sitting in a park watching a happy toddler.

It’s only when they’re older that parents can look back and recognize that children are young for a very limited number of years. This brief time period is the crucial foundation for their future and our chance to guide them on their path. The individual tasks can feel mundane, but each should be viewed as a privilege towards building a human being and eved Hashem. This holy avodah is no less meaningful on Yom Kippur. As beautiful as this is, I do want to acknowledge that it can be a difficult mindset for many.

Take the few quiet moments available to daven, prioritizing the most important tefillos. Have available a book that will set you emotionally in the right direction. Use the moments in between tasks to think about the meaning of the day. It won’t be hours in shul, but we can still utilize the full potential of the moments we do have.

Parents have an easier fast when little ones are happier and calm. Many parents

The same child who is perpetually in trouble at home can play happily in the park for hours. Parents should only do this if it won’t drain them too much or cause extra dehydration from the heat.

Depending on the dynamic, two kids are often easier than one since they keep each other occupied. Playdates can be a great way to keep little ones happy, and they can be pleasant for the parents, too.

With Hashem’s help, our small improvements will over time yield a return to the pristine neshama that is inherently within us.

have found that having a new toy ready for Yom Kippur keeps the children occupied. It’s best to choose a toy that will have extended entertainment value without creating fighting between siblings. Each child is different, but examples include building blocks, cooperative games and books.

For some kids, bringing them to a park or backyard is easier than being home.

Parents can either take turns watching the entire crew, or the adults can both remain, enjoying each other’s company.

Young children are unable to see another’s perspective. They don’t know we’re tired, hungry or cranky. They can’t understand that we’re frustrated, headachy, or collapsing. It will take time and maturity to see beyond themselves. Parents should

have realistic expectations and not assume children will suddenly be sympathetic over Yom Kippur. Keeping this in mind won’t change their development, but it may help us be a bit more understanding and realistic in our expectations.

There are certain times when it can be helpful to have assistance. There are many young girls who may not be attending shul but are old enough to act as a mother’s helper with mom present. A young helper can entertain the children and keep them busy while mom rests. There may be teen girls available later in the day if they’re not attending the later tefillos. Arrangements should be made in advance – be sensitive to the needs of a post bas-mitzvah girl that is fasting. Please utilize a halachically acceptable method to properly compensate all helpers.

May all of Klal Yisroel be sealed in the book of life and good health, and may we finally hear the shofar sounds we’ve been waiting for.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.

WEEKLY CALENDAR

OCTOBER

14TH- OCTOBER 16TH

Monday October 14th

9:30 am

Yoga with Deborah Bandos

10:00 am

Baking with Ms. Hirschman

11:00 am

Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp

2:00 pm

Piano with Mrs Schwartz

Tuesday October 15th

9:30 am

Yoga with Deborah Bandos

10:15 am

Anagrams with Malka Zweig

11:00 am

Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp

1:00 pm BINGO

1:45 pm

Piano with Menachem

Wednesday October 16th

10:00 am

Rabbi P's Parsha Pointers and Patterns

11:00 am

Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp

1:45 pm

Piano with Menachem

Zmanim for Sukkos 5785/2024

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16 | EREV SUKKOS

Eruv Tavshilin

Hadlakas Neiros....................................................................6:07PM

Alos ....................................................................................................... 6:06AM

Mesheyakir ........................................................................................... 6:43AM

Neitz .................................................................................................... 7:18AM

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:29/10:05AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:52PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:23PM

Plag Hamincha .................................................................................... 5:17PM

Shkiah 6:25PM

Tzais ............................................................................................. 7:16/7:38PM

Tonight, Wednesday night, all night, is the last time in Tishrei to say Kiddush Levanah

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18 | SUKKOS DAY 1

Hadlakas Neiros ...................................................................7:37PM Alos ....................................................................................................... 6:07AM

Mesheyakir ........................................................................................... 6:44AM

Neitz .................................................................................................... 7:19AM

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:29/10:05AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:52PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:23PM

Plag Hamincha ..................................................................................... 5:16PM

Shkiah ................................................................................................... 6:24PM

Tzais.............................................................................................. 7:15/7:37PM

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 18 | SUKKOS DAY 2

Hadlakas Neiros ...................................................................6:04PM

Alos ....................................................................................................... 6:08AM

Mesheyakir ........................................................................................... 6:45AM

Neitz .................................................................................................... 7:20AM

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:29/10:05AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:52PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:23PM

Plag Hamincha ..................................................................................... 5:15PM

Shkiah ................................................................................................... 6:22PM

Tzais.............................................................................................. 7:13/7:35PM

SHABBOS, OCTOBER 19 | SHABBOS CHOL HAMOED 1

Alos ....................................................................................................... 6:09AM

Mesheyakir ........................................................................................... 6:46AM

Neitz .................................................................................................... 7:21AM

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:30/10:06AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:51PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:22PM

Plag Hamincha ..................................................................................... 5:14PM

Shkiah ................................................................................................... 6:21PM

Tzais.............................................................................................. 7:12/7:34PM

Community Wide Simchas Bais Hashoeva at Shomrei ..............9:00PM

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23 |

Eruv Tavshilin

Hadlakas Neiros....................................................................5:57PM

Alos .......................................................................................................

Mesheyakir ...........................................................................................

Neitz ....................................................................................................

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:32/10:08AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:51PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:22PM

Plag Hamincha ..................................................................................... 5:09PM

Shkiah ................................................................................................... 6:15PM

Tzais ............................................................................................. 7:06/7:28PM

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 24 | SHEMINI ATZERES

Yizkor

Hadlakas Neiros ...................................................................7:27PM

Alos ....................................................................................................... 6:15AM

Mesheyakir ........................................................................................... 6:51AM

Neitz .................................................................................................... 7:26AM

Sof Zman Krias Shema ............................................................. 9:32/10:08AM

Chatzos .............................................................................................. 12:51PM

Mincha Gedolah ................................................................................... 1:22PM

Plag Hamincha .....................................................................................

Shkiah ...................................................................................................

Tzais..............................................................................................

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25 | SIMCHAS TORAH

Hadlakas Neiros ...................................................................5:55PM

Alos .......................................................................................................

Mesheyakir ...........................................................................................

Neitz ....................................................................................................

Sof Zman Krias Shema .............................................................

Chatzos ..............................................................................................

Mincha Gedolah ...................................................................................

Plag Hamincha .....................................................................................

Shkiah ...................................................................................................

Tzais..............................................................................................

SHABBOS, OCTOBER 26 | SHABBOS MEVARCHIM MARCHESHVAN, ISRU CHAG

Parshas Bereishis

Alos .......................................................................................................

Mesheyakir ...........................................................................................

Neitz ....................................................................................................

Sof Zman Krias Shema .............................................................

Chatzos ..............................................................................................

Mincha Gedolah ...................................................................................

Plag Hamincha .....................................................................................

Shkiah ...................................................................................................

Tzais..............................................................................................

Havdalah Zmanim

minutes past Shkiah.

Baltimore Weekday Minyanim Guide

Shacharis Mincha

Neitz Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] M-F

Ohel Yakov S-F

6:00 AM Shomrei Emunah Congregation M-F

6:10 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, Th

6:15 AM Kol Torah M, TH

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F

Shearith Israel Congregation M, TH

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelM, TH

6:20 AM Agudah of Greenspring M, TH

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S-F

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F

Kehilath B'nai Torah M, TH

Pikesville Jewish CongregationM, TH

Shomrei Emunah CongregationS, M, TH

6:25 AM The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelT, W, F

6:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring T, W, F

Chabad of Park Heights M-F

Darchei Tzedek M-F

Kehilath B'nai Torah T, W, F

Khal Bais Nosson M-F

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek M-F

Kol Torah T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F

Ohr Yisroel M-F

Pikesville Jewish CongregationT, W, F

Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F

6:35 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan)M, TH

Ohel Moshe M, TH

6:40 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan)T, W, F

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationM, TH

6:45 AM B”H and Mesivta of Baltimore (Dirshu Minyan) S-F

Beth Abraham M, TH

Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue M-F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Ner Tamid M-F

Ohel Moshe T, W, F

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim M-F

6:50 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] M, TH

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh M, TH

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationT, W, F

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh M, TH

Derech Chaim M-F

Kol Torah M-F

Ohel Moshe S

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH

Shomrei Emunah CongregationM, TH

The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterM, TH

6:55 AM Beth Abraham T, W, F

Kol Torah M, TH

7:00 AM Aish Kodesh (upstairs Minyan) M-F

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] T, W, F

Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's)S

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh T, W, F

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh T, W, F Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue S Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach TzedekS

Kol Torah T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah M-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F

Shearith Israel Congregation S, M, TH

Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F

Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh M-F

The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterT, W, F Tiferes Yisroel M-F

7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) M, TH

7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael S Kol Torah S

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S, T, W, F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Ner Israel Rabbinical College S-F

Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah CongregationS

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelS

Tzeirei Anash M-F

7:20 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH

Beth Tfiloh Congregation M-F

Kol Torah M-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH

Shomrei Emunah CongregationM, TH

7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring S

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F

Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] S

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F

Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore S-F

Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh S

Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] S

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationS

Chabad of Park Heights S

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe AryehS-F

Darchei Tzedek S

Kedushas Yisrael S-F

Khal Bais Nosson S

Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) S-F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F

Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F

7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F

Talmudical Academy S-F

Darchei Tzedek M-F

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

Mesivta Kesser Torah S-F

Mesivta Shaarei Chaim S-F

7:50 AM Derech Chaim S

Ner Tamid S

Ohel Moshe M-F

8:00 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Beth Abraham S

Chabad Israeli Center M-F

Darchei Tzedek S

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach TzedekS

Kehillas Meor HaTorah S

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohr Yisroel S

Pikesville Jewish CongregationS

Shearith Israel Congregation S

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterS

Tiferes Yisroel S

Tzeirei Anash S

Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah S-F

8:15 AM Kehilath B'nai Torah S Kol Torah S

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

8:20 AM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F

8:25 AM Ohr Chadash Academy (School Days Only) S-F

8:30 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Chabad Israeli Center S

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S-F

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Ohel Moshe S

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

Shomrei Mishmeres HakodeshS

8:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

9:00 AM Aish Kodesh S

Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S

Beth Tfiloh Congregation S

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationS

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Moses Montefiore Anshe EmunahS

Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S-F

9:15 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

9:30 AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

9:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F

10:00AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F

Mincha Gedolah Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/Tzemach Tzedek

12:30 PM Kol Torah

12:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor, Baltimore, MD 21202

1:00 PM 10055 Red Run Blvd Suite 295

Milk & Honey Bistro 1777 Reisterstown RD

1:25 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

1:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

1:45 PM Ohel Moshe

Wealcatch Insurance

1:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor (M-Th)

2:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

Big Al @ The Knish Shop Party Room

Kol Torah

Market Maven

Reischer Minyan - 23 Walker Ave 2nd Floor

2:15 PM Pikesville Beis Medrash - 15 Walker Ave

2:30 PM Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

Tov Pizza Mincha Minyan

Ner Israel Rabbinical College

Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building)

Shearith Israel Congregation

2:45 PM Kollel of Greenspring

Shearith Israel Congregation (S-Th)

3:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

3:05 PM Kedushas Yisrael

3:15 PM Hat Box

3:22 PM Ohr Chadash Academy (School Days Only, Call to Confirm)

4:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

5:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

5:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-Th)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

6:00 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Shearith Israel Congregation (S-Th)

6:30 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

10 Min Before ShkiAh Chabad Israeli Center

14 Min Before ShkiAh Kol Torah

Mincha/Maariv Plag

Ohel Yaakov

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim

Mincha/Maariv Before Shkiah

Aish Kodesh

Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Agudah of Greenspring

Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Beth Abraham

Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation

Darchei Tzedek

Kehillas Meor HaTorah

Kehilath B’nai Torah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill’s)

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Ner Tamid

Ohel Moshe

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi]

Ohr Yisroel

Pikesville Jewish Congregation

Shearith Israel Congregation

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

Shomrei Mishmeres

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim

The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei Israel

The Shul at the Lubavitch Center

Tiferes Yisroel

Maariv

7:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

7:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

7:45 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

8:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

8:15 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

8:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

8:45 PM Darchei Tzedek

Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina)

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Ohr Yisroel

8:50 PM Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building)

8:55 PM Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

9:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Arugas Habosem

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim

9:15 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

9:20 PM Kol Torah

9:30 PM Agudah of Greenspring

Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Kedushas Yisrael

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

9:40 PM Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi]

9:45 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim

Kollel Erev Birchas Yitzchok (Luries)

Kollel of Greenspring

Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's)

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi]

Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah

9:50 PM Aish Kodesh

Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh

Ohel Moshe

10:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Darchei Tzedek

Kehilath B'nai Torah

Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

Shearith Israel Congregation

Shomrei Emunah Congregation

10:05 PM Kol Torah

10:10 PM Ner Israel Rabbinical College

10:15 PM Derech Chaim

Khal Bais Nosson

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

10:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

10:45 PM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

11:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore

Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah

11:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Mental Health Corner

Do Parents Matter?

Many parents fully believe that their children are like clay that they can mold into whatever shape they want. “If I hire a good piano teacher, he or she will surely become a talented pianist!” Although parents do play an incredibly important role in their children’s lives, the exact nature of their

role in molding their offspring is much more nuanced.

The most important element that parents provide to their children is their DNA. If you love reading, you might raise children who also love reading. But this may be due to their

inheritance of your “reading gene” and not because you raised them to be bookworms. Conversely, if your child did not inherit that specific genetic tendency, then all of your efforts to turn your child into an avid reader might be in vain.

What, then, is included in the emotional needs of a child? We can write many books to answer this question, but let us at least provide a short checklist of the essence of a child’s sustenance from an emotional perspective.

You are probably thinking that if raising a child is fifty percent nature and fifty percent nurture, then the parents should at least have a fifty percent influence over their children, since they provide the nurturing. That is also not entirely true. It is true that nurture plays a pivotal role in a child’s development, but the nurturing does not come from the parents alone. Rather any aspect of a child’s environment contributes to the nurturing of the child. This includes siblings, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, reading materials, and anything else that a child interacts with as they grow.

At this point, you might have concluded that a parent’s role in molding a child’s personality is down to a very low percentage. Yes and no. Although, in many ways a child arrives onto this earth preprogrammed, there are still a couple of areas where parents reign supreme.

The first one is values. Honest parents usually raise honest children. Respectful parents usually raise respectful children. Instilling into your child a sense of right and wrong is an area that parents play a pivotal role. Nature definitely plays a role, but not as much as in other aspects of a child’s constitution.

Another area that parents are vital is fulfilling a child’s needs, both physically and emotionally. We all recognize that parents completely create a child’s physical environment. If parents do not provide their child with food, shelter, clothing, and all of the myriad components of developing into a physically healthy adult, then the child may be doomed to a pathetic existence.

The exact same thing is true for a child’s emotional development. If parents do not provide the emotional “food” that children need, they might be setting their child onto a path of mental illness for the rest of their lives.

In a nutshell, here are some of the important emotional needs of a child:

• Unconditional love - A child’s sense of value as a human being which is pivotal for a healthy sense of self comes from a parent’s unconditional love. This tells a child that you are a valuable and worthy person just the way you are.

• Attention and Affection - It is not enough to feel unconditional love for your child, but this must also be communicated on a constant basis. Hence, the need for attention and affection.

• Respect - Yes! You must show your child respect! You respect his or her humanity, their personal belongings, and their need for privacy and autonomy, all in an age appropriate manner.

• Security - Children grow up feeling secure in this world if their parents provided a secure environment when they were growing up. When the home runs in an efficient and orderly manner, the children feel safe and secure.

There is a famous adage that whether it is nature or nurture, it is still the parents’ fault. Our motivation in this article is to argue that nature is definitely from the parents, but as far as nurture is concerned it is not so simple. As far as nurturing your child to have a specific personality, you might have very little control. But, as far as your child growing into an emotionally healthy and stable person, the ball is in your court.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-4488356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

To Raise a Laugh

Sukkos Minhagim

From time to time, I run a yom tov article that is really not written for you, apparently – it’s just a way of recording my family’s apparent minhagim. Minhagim are treasured traditions, handed down from generation to generation as a way of keeping our mesorah alive, but the problem is that for the most part, handing things down in this way is like playing a game of telephone, where, over the years, some customs get added, muddled, or taken out.

That said, it’s always a good idea to write down your family’s customs somewhere so your grandkids know, going forward, whether your kids ever actually paid attention when you talked.

- I have a minhag to keep our sukkah in the garage, but our decorations in the attic.

- I have a minhag, after we finish putting up the sukkah every year, to go inside the house, go upstairs, and look out the window.

- We have a minhag to hang lots of decorations that are supposed to make our sukkah look nice, but instead make it look like an ad for saran wrap. Pesach is the holiday of foil; Sukkos is the holiday of saran wrap.

- When I’m putting up the schach mat, I have a minhag to get splinters.

- My kids have a minhag to hand me the schach poles one at a time, perpendicular to the direction I need them in.

- We have a minhag to hang a picture of a sukkah in our sukkah. And in that sukkah, there is also a picture of a sukkah. I wonder if we’re just part of someone’s picture.

- My father has a minhag, when looking at esrogim, to ask if they have anything else in the back.

- I have a minhag to spend 13 minutes frowning knowledgeably at esrogim before settling on the second one I looked at.

- I have a minhag to buy my hadassim in a bag so that I can’t see them until I get home, but I don’t buy my esrog and lulav in a bag.

- I have a minhag to put my hadassim and aravos in the fridge, like they did in the midbar.

- We have a minhag to zip our sukkah door closed when everyone leaves it, even though animals can go right under the tarp anyway and people know how to use zippers. Even burglars. I don’t know what burglar is going to be stumped by a zipper, but I guess one who wants to steal folding chairs.

- My mother-in-law has a minhag, handed down from her ancestors, that the first night of Sukkos, she comes out to the sukkah in a coat. It doesn’t matter how hot it is, or how hot it was when she was outside five minutes before yom tov.

- I have a minhag to serve soup on Sukkos, so we can see if the rain ruins it. We have this soup even if it’s 90 degrees out and my mother-in-law is wearing a coat.

- The non-Jewish neighbors behind me have a minhag to do construction 3 feet from our sukkah while we’re trying to eat. Drilling, hammering, sawing, the works. Especially when we try to sing. If there is nothing for them to build, they have a minhag to mow their lawn.

- I have a minhag to tell my kids every time they pick up the arbah minim to watch the pitum. Even my teenagers.

- My kids have a minhag, while they’re watching the pitum, to bump the tip of the lulav into random walls and fellow mispallelim.

- I have a minhag to lose the kesher that goes around my lulav holder on the first day of Sukkos.

- Everyone in my shul has a minhag, during Hoshanos, to totally forget how to walk.

- I have a minhag to forget to make the bracha of Leishev Basukkah several times over the course of yom tov, even though I made it a point to go out to the sukkah, bringing everything I need with me, over the course of several trips, and now I am in

By Mordechai Schmutter

a sukkah surrounded by signs about Sukkos, and I still forget to say Leishev Basukkah.

- I have a minhag, on Chol Hamoed, to eat yogurt and hard-boiled eggs at the zoo. (This minhag extends to Chol Hamoed Pesach as well.)

- We have a minhag, at some point over Chol Hamoed, to say, “It always rains on Chol Hamoed.”

- Our minhag is not to wear tefillin on Chol Hamoed, though I kind of wish I would, because I’m a lefty, and people stare at me and say, “Hey, you’re holding your lulav in the wrong hand!” And that way I can say, “Yeah, well, I also wore my tefillin on the wrong hand.”

- I have a minhag not to knock any leaves off my Hoshanos, but not for lack of trying.

- My wife has a minhag to attempt to grow aravos every year, usually in a place that we will hopefully remember not to mow them come spring.

- My shul has a minhag on Simchas Torah to sing the very same songs that our forefathers sang the very first time they finished the Torah.

- I have a minhag to pick up Simchas Torah flags for my kids at the supermarket for free, and I don’t know why. No kid uses them. Are they going to hold yet another stick that they can use to poke adults while walking in a circle?

- When I was growing, up, a lot of shuls seemed to have a minhag to play pranks on the chazzan during Mussaf on Simchas Torah. How on earth was that okay? The poor guy had yahrtzeit.

- I’m thinking of starting a minhag to buy flowers for my wife before Sukkos. That way she’ll do whatever chemical process she usually does to keep them alive for a week, and I can sneak my aravos in there every night

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.

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Tech Triumphs

Lessons For Life As told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross

Let’s be honest: we’re a smartphone family. My husband and I have had smartphones since they were invented, and flip phones are not even on our radar. When my daughter entered tenth grade, she asked us for a smartphone. My husband recoiled at the thought of giving a teenager access to social media and the open internet. We considered getting her a flip phone, but she threw a royal fit. To her, having a phone that wasn’t a smartphone was not worth it at all. She felt she would look like the biggest nerd in her circle of friends.

After further discussion, we realized we were just postponing the inevitable. When our daughter came of age, she would eventually get her own smartphone and use it however she wanted. That’s when we saw an opportunity. We could give her a smartphone now and teach her how

to use it responsibly. We took the phone to TAG and had them remove the internet browser and app store, leaving only the essentials. Voilà!

This became a chance to teach her an important lesson for life. Smartphones can easily get out of control without proper boundaries. By guiding our daughter on how to safely use technology—something she would inevitably use—we were able to impart vital life lessons.

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protecting users from immodest pictures and objectionable content, many users prefer to block all skin tones to make website images less engaging, allowing them to focus more on article content and less on pictures and advertisements. Text filtering analyzes web pages for objectionable language and blocks them if it detects either a single objectionable word or a series of them. Many filters even allow users to adjust the image and text analysis to be more strict or lenient, tailoring it to their preferences.

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immodest products or unrelated celebrity images. These two features enable safer web browsing, reducing the likelihood of objectionable images or advertisements compromising users’ personal standards.

Users can opt-in to the additional protection of image and text filtering to enhance web browsing safety. It is not a required setting. When it comes to filtering levels, customers choose the settings that align with their personal standards, and the filtering software offers a range of features to adjust and customize settings for the perfect fit.

This is a service of TAG Baltimore. TAG Baltimore is an organization that provides technology awareness, education, and support. They can be reached at 410-449-1824 or help@ tagbaltimore.org.

Political Crossfire

What October 7 Didn’t Change

By David Ignatius

When Hamas terrorists burst through the Gaza fence at 7:43 a.m. on Oct. 7, 2023, they turned the Middle East upside down. The vaunted Israeli military was unprepared and vulnerable as Hamas stormed through Israeli settlements and military bases, butchering people at will. The Israeli Superman seemed to have lost his cape.

“Where’s the IDF?” frightened Israelis asked as they waited for the Israel Defense Forces to arrive. One of Israel’s top security officials told me the following month that the nation was so traumatized that it couldn’t make good decisions about its security. But Israel had more time to work with, and a stronger national will, than it appeared in those first weeks.

A year later, the shape of the Middle East is indeed different but not in the way that most observers would have predicted. The military power of Hamas is hobbled, and its remaining fighters hide in an underground lair that increasingly resembles a dungeon. Hezbollah, the most ferocious of Iran’s proxies, is reeling after the decapitation of its leadership. Iran has tried to retaliate, but Israeli defenses stop

most of its missiles and drones.

This year has reminded us that warfare is about unspeakable violence. Etched in my memory is a video of a Hamas fighter joyously telephoning his mother in Gaza to boast how many Jews he had killed; I recall, too, a senior Israeli officer blandly insisting to me that the IDF was limiting civilian casualties, even as the world saw images of dead Palestinian children in Gaza, day after day. Israel restored deterrence but amid a field of tens of thousands of dead and several million displaced civilians.

The power equation in the Middle East has changed over the past year. That’s what the leaders of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates have told the White House in recent days. Israel is up, Iran is down, and the moderate Arabs, no matter what they say in public, appear to be content. The Arab states have diplomatic ties to Iran, but during this year of war they have continued to operate a joint air-defense system with Israel. Saudi officials tell the White House that they still hope to pursue normalization with Israel, when the hurricane of war has passed.

The outcome of war can seem inevi-

table in retrospect. Historians tell us the Confederacy could never have hoped to outlast the industrial might of the Union. Similarly, we know in hindsight that Imperial Japan could not have sustained the momentum of its surprise Pearl Harbor attack and that Soviet communism would collapse of its own corruption and incompetence.

But those outcomes were purchased in blood, day by day. So, too, with Israel’s Gaza and Lebanon wars. And over the past year, with Hamas and Hezbollah hidden in dense urban areas, it was Palestinian and Lebanese civilians who paid the most terrible price.

Human suffering can’t be quantified, but some statistics convey the scale of this disaster. 41,689 Palestinians have died in Gaza and 96,625 have been injured, according to the Gaza Ministry of Health, which has ties to Hamas. The United Nations says that 1.9 million Gazans, 90 percent of the population, have been displaced. The World Bank estimates that more than 60 percent of residential buildings in Gaza have been damaged or destroyed. The United Nations calculates that in Israel, more than 1,200 Israelis

have been killed and 5,400 have been injured. The United Nations calculates that 346 Israeli soldiers have died in Gaza and 2,297 have been injured. Since the beginning of the Israel-Gaza war, 1,664 Israelis have been killed, of which 706 were soldiers; 17,809 Israelis were wounded, and about 143,000 people were evacuated from their homes, according to a September Israeli survey quoted by the Jerusalem Post.

In Lebanon, more than 1 million people have been displaced, according to U.N. estimates. Israeli airstrikes there have killed more than 1,000 Lebanese and injured more than 6,000, according to the Lebanese Health Ministry, in what may be just the early stages of that war.

The agony for Palestinian civilians in Gaza has been, for most of us, a collection of horrifying snapshots: Wounded children cradled in their parents’ arms, or stretchers being carried through shattered buildings. A personal glimpse of this horror came in 48 installments of a Gaza diary by “Ziad,” a 35-year-old Palestinian, published by the Guardian newspaper over the first six months of the war. Although Ziad’s full identity is not

disclosed, his chronicle of the war is believable to me because the details are so ordinary: The impossibility of sleep amid the sound of explosions; the difficulty of caring for pets; the degrading lack of personal hygiene; the sense of meaninglessness; the fear of death. During the first two weeks of war, the price of renting a generator increased eightfold, as did the cost of a taxi ride, according to the diary. Gaza was a box, and Ziad and his family were trapped.

The Palestinian diarist wrote that he fled his home in Gaza City in the first days of the war and then had to move two more times in the first two weeks. “I am losing track of time,” he says of the sleepless early days. “It’s okay to feel scared,” he tells a young relative. He wonders what his gravestone would say if he died during this “horrendous period” and draws a blank. A young member of his family asks what superpower he would choose, if he lived in a comic-book world. “I want the superpower of being normal, living a mundane life and discussing everyday topics.”

The Biden administration this year has been an eager but stunningly unsuccessful peacemaker. That wasn’t for lack of effort. CIA Director William J. Burns

and National Security Council Middle East Director Brett McGurk made perhaps a dozen mediation trips to the region, aided by Egyptian and Qatari officials.

But the Biden team’s efforts mostly proved futile. This wasn’t Henry Kissinger’s version of shuttle diplomacy. The Hamas decision-maker Yahya Sin-

punctuated the war. He was an outcast a year ago, deeply unpopular within his country and scorned by some commentators as the worst prime minister in Israeli history. Netanyahu had said in 2011 his ambition was to “secure the life of the Jewish state and its future.” To the tens of thousands who were demonstrating against him on the streets of Tel Aviv, he

But Netanyahu held on, like a man dangling from the edge of a skyscraper, and by last week even his critics in Israel were applauding the destruction of Hezbollah.

war was in a tunnel under Gaza, having taken the enclave into the horror of war, Sinwar preferred martyrdom to compromise. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed to be interested in a cease-fire and hostage deal, but his lodestar was his own political survival.

Netanyahu’s oscillating fortunes have

was achieving the opposite. But Netanyahu held on, like a man dangling from the edge of a skyscraper, and by last week even his critics in Israel were applauding the destruction of Hezbollah.

Israel regained its footing over the past year by waging a relentless campaign of retaliation for the horror and shame of

Oct. 7. If there was one consistent theme, other than the resilience of Israel’s military and intelligence services, it was the lack of clear Israeli thinking about what would come next. Netanyahu ignored planning for the “day after” in Gaza and is making the same mistake now as the IDF shatters Lebanon.

Perhaps Israel’s sword of vengeance has broken the power of Iran and its boldest proxies, as Netanyahu and his supporters seem to hope. But this is the Middle East. A more likely outcome is that, at a cost of so many thousands of dead, this war has restored the old paradigm of a strong Israel that can crush its enemies – until the next round.

Perhaps the saddest legacy of this war will be that it could so easily happen again. We all know the adage about those who don’t learn from history. When we see the hardened faces of Israelis, Palestinians and Lebanese, we know that many of them are thinking about the next conflict, even as they fight this one. The displaced Gazans, the stunned Hezbollah fighters, aren’t likely to forget. And in the Middle East, memory is an addictive drug, and a poison.

© 2024, Washington Post Writers Group

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Common Cents

By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST

Tax Ninja: Slashing Your Tax Bill With Smart Income Strategies For A Wealthier Future

There are few things more exciting than seeing your wealth grow over time, but as your income evolves, so do your tax responsibilities. Understanding the various types of income and how they’re taxed can mean the difference between watching your hard-earned money slip away or keeping more of it to reinvest and build your future. The tax code might seem complex, but once you understand the landscape, you’ll find there are ways to make savvy moves that can minimize your tax bill.

We’re going to break down the three main types of income—ordinary, portfolio, and passive, and – and highlight why their different tax treatments are so important. We’ll then apply this to an actual real life example and explore how a married couple, early in their career and later in retirement, can use tax-smart strategies to maximize wealth accumulation and minimize taxes throughout their lives.

Understanding Various Types of Income

To start, let’s define the key terms so you can see how each type of income plays a role in your financial strategy.

1. Ordinary Income

This is the most straightforward type of income—it includes wages, salaries, bonuses, tips, and income from self-employment. Ordinary income is taxed at the federal government’s progressive income tax rates, ranging from 10% to 37% depending on your total taxable income. You’ll also be subject to Social Security and Medicare taxes on earned income. Depending on your state of residence, you may also be subject to to state and local income taxes.

2. Portfolio Income

Portfolio income is generated from interest, dividends, and capital gains from investments. Unlike ordinary income, portfolio income is often taxed at lower rates. Qualified dividends and long-term capital gains (for assets held over a year) enjoy favorable tax rates of 0%, 15%, or 20%, depending on your taxable income.

3. Passive Income

Passive income typically comes from rental properties, limited partnerships, or other business ventures in which you’re not actively involved. Passive income is usually taxed as ordinary income, but it has some additional quirks. For instance, passive losses can often only offset passive income, not your ordinary wages, unless you’re a real estate professional or meet other specific criteria.

A Tax-Savvy Married Couple’s Journey

Now that we’ve outlined the types of income and how they’re taxed, let’s explore how a hypothetical married couple, Paul and Hannah, could make savvy tax moves throughout their lives—from early wealth accumulation to a successful, tax-efficient retirement.

Early Years: Accumulating Wealth While Minimizing Taxes

Paul & Hannah are in their late 20s, both working full-time jobs and bringing in a combined salary of $150,000. They know their ordinary income is taxed at federal rates up to 22%, so they decide to make some strategic moves to minimize their taxes while building wealth.

1. Maxing Out Tax-Deferred Accounts

The couple contributes the maximum to their employer-sponsored 401(k) plans—$22,500 each in 2024. This not only helps them save for retirement but also reduces their taxable income by $45,000, lowering their federal tax bracket.

2. Opening a Taxable Brokerage Account

In addition to their 401(k)s, Paul & Hannah open a taxable brokerage account. Here, they invest in a mix of index funds and dividend-paying stocks. By focusing on tax-efficient investments (like ETFs and qualified dividend-paying stocks), they limit the amount of taxable portfolio income during their high-earning years. Even when they eventually realize capital

gains, they know that long-term capital gains (from investments held over a year) will be taxed at a lower rate than their wages.

3. Harvesting Capital Losses

During a market downturn, Paul & Hannah engage in tax-loss harvesting. This strategy allows them to sell underperforming investments to realize losses, which they can then use to offset gains elsewhere in their portfolio. They’re able to deduct up to $3,000 of capital losses from their ordinary income annually, and any excess losses can be carried forward to future years.

Middle Career: Growing Wealth and Strategic Reinvestment

By their 40s, Paul & Hannah have climbed the career ladder and now earn a combined $250,000 annually. Their goal is to maximize tax efficiency while continuing to build their investment portfolio.

1. Backdoor Roth IRA Contributions

Because they’ve exceeded the income limits for direct Roth IRA contributions, they use a backdoor

Roth IRA strategy. By contributing to a non-deductible traditional IRA and then immediately converting it to a Roth IRA, they can take advantage of tax-free growth on their investments for the rest of their lives.

2. Shifting Toward Tax-Efficient Investments

In their taxable brokerage account, Paul & Hannah begin shifting more of their portfolio into low-turnover index funds and municipal bonds, which generate tax-exempt interest. This minimizes their taxable income while still allowing their wealth to grow.

3. Using Capital Gains Strategically

As their taxable brokerage account grows, they continue to hold most investments for the long term, so when they need to sell assets, they qualify for the long-term capital gains tax rate. They also plan to strategically sell investments in years when their income might be lower (due to job changes or taking time off), so they can take advantage of the 0% capital gains tax rate.

Common Cents

Retirement: Smart Drawdown Strategies to Minimize Taxes

Fast forward to their 60s, Paul & Hannah have built a significant nest egg, with a mix of tax-deferred retirement accounts, taxable brokerage accounts, and Roth IRAs. Now, the focus shifts to minimizing taxes in retirement, particularly in their early retirement years before required minimum distributions (RMDs) kick in at age 73.

1. Drawing from the Taxable Brokerage Account First

In the first years of retirement, Paul & Hannah draw down from their taxable brokerage account, particularly focusing on long-term capital gains. Their taxable income, now much lower than during their working years, allows them to stay within the 0% capital gains tax bracket. This move effectively gives them tax-free access to their investment gains.

2. Roth IRA Conversions

To avoid getting hit with large tax bills when RMDs begin, Paul & Hannah start doing partial Roth conversions. Each year, they convert a portion of their tax-deferred 401(k) and IRA assets into Roth IRAs. They carefully plan these conversions to keep their taxable income below certain thresholds, maximizing their 12% ordinary income tax bracket and avoiding higher rates down the road.

3. Tax-Efficient Social Security Timing

Paul & Hannah also delay claiming Social Security until age 70 to maximize their benefits. In the meantime, they rely on their taxable brokerage account and Roth IRAs for income, keeping their taxable income low. When they eventually start receiving Social Security, the majority of it remains tax-free due to their low taxable income.

The Power of a Taxable Brokerage Account and the 0% Capital Gains Rate

The taxable brokerage account plays a crucial role in people’s financial success, but I often that people ignore this type of account either because of the confusing use of the word “taxable” in the title or just because they don’t think about it. However, it provides a mas-

sive amount of flexibility in retirement, allowing them to access funds without triggering high tax rates, and the favorable long-term capital gains tax rates make it even more attractive.

By managing their taxable income carefully and strategically selling investments at the right time, they qualify for the 0% long-term capital gains rate for married couples. For example, in a year when their taxable income is below the $89,250 threshold, they could sell $50,000 worth of investments and pay no capital gains taxes on that amount. This is one of the biggest tax advantages available to retirees with taxable investments.

Conclusion: Build Tax-Savvy Strategies Now, Reap the Rewards Later

Paul & Hannah’s journey shows the power of understanding how different types of income are taxed and making tax-smart moves throughout your career and into retirement. By being strategic with their tax-advantaged accounts, leveraging taxable brokerage accounts, and taking advantage of favorable capital gains rates, they build wealth efficiently and pay less in taxes over the long term.

Whether you’re just starting your career or planning for retirement, these strategies can help you keep more of your hard-earned money and set you up for financial success. The tax code might seem intimidating, but by understanding how different types of income are treated and implementing the right strategies, you’ll be well on your way to a financially secure and tax-efficient future.

Common Cents is now digital on YouTube @CommonCents613

The decision to start saving and investing is yours, but the “how” can be hard. Email commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com to schedule a financial planning consultation with our team.

Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST is Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.

The Death of Nasrallah Turns Israeli Cobwebs into Iron Sinews

by Dan Schwartz

“Let’s go to Tel Aviv as soon as Shabbos lets out; it’s gonna be the best party ever!”

My host, a usually-calm, levelheaded lawyer, was dancing around the room excitedly. It had just been confirmed that the Israeli Air Force had eliminated Hassan Nasrallah, Hezbollah’s secretary-general. All over the country, Israelis reacted to the news as enthusiastically as my host had: crowds gathered to celebrate in the streets of Tel Aviv, Yeshiva bochurim erupted in spontaneous dancing around their Beis Midrash, and a group of news anchors even cracked open a bottle of whiskey on live TV.

The intense celebrations were not confined to Israel. Nasrallah had made many enemies throughout the Mideast, particularly during the brutal Syrian Civil War, when Hezbollah’s forces butchered, pillaged, and starved into submission many rebel-held neighborhoods and towns. Now, Hezbollah’s Syrian victims were thoroughly enjoying Hezbollah’s discomfiture. They flooded the streets, smiling and handing out pastries to random strangers. Children held up signs, handwritten in Arabic and bad Hebrew, thanking Netanyahu for assassinating

Nasrallah (and suggesting that it would be nice if he took out Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad as well). An Emirati blogger described Nasrallah’s death as “a historic victory for the world.” One Hezbollah supporter was so incensed by those celebrations that he tweeted to his followers, “Please don’t respond to provocative messages from the dogs barking in Idlib [formerly a Syrian rebel stronghold] or the desert rats from the Gulf. That’s what they want you to do.” He then apologized to all dogs for his comparing them to the Syrians of Idlib.

It is highly uncommon for Israelis and Syrians to celebrate the downfall of a common enemy. In fact, Israelis generally don’t celebrate the killing of senior terrorists. Israelis believe that they’re fighting terrorism to preserve life rather than kill the enemy, and so a majority feel that celebrating a terrorist’s death is distasteful, even barbaric.

But Nasrallah was a special case. As well as being a very capable leader, Nasrallah was an accomplished propogandist who commanded a thorough understanding of Israel’s culture and psyche. He had a unique ability to shake Israel’s self-confidence and sense of safety. Nasral-

lah’s stranglehold on Israelis’ minds and emotions was so strong that many Israelis felt that his death was a sort of latter-day Purim miracle.

For years,

the shadow of Nasrallah loomed ever-larger on Israel. He and Hezbollah seemed to emerge stronger from each crisis and war. Nasrallah personified the meteoric rise of Iran’s “Axis of Resistance” and its apparent invincibility.

The Middle East that Nasrallah grew up in has since changed beyond recognition. Back then, Iran was still a secular state – and a staunch Israeli ally. Even Israel’s worst enemies – Nasser of Egypt, Sadam Hussein, Yasser Arafat – were all secular. Lebanon was still a Christian-majority country and its capital, Beirut, was known as the Paris of the Middle East. Then, in 1975, Lebanon imploded in a bloody civil war. Arafat’s PLO took advantage of the chaos and lawlessness to take over large parts of the country, from which they attacked Israel’s northern cities. Israel responded by invading Lebanon, driving the PLO out, and, together with its Lebanese Christian allies from the SLA, set up a buffer zone in

Southern Lebanon that shielded Israel’s northern cities from terrorist rockets and infiltrations.

Over the next few years, radical Lebanese Shiites founded their own anti-Israel paramilitary, which they named Hizb Allah [literally “G-d’s Party” in Arabic]. At first, Hezbollah was a rather ineffective movement – until Nasrallah took over in 1992. Under his leadership, Hezbollah increased the range of its rockets so that it could target Israeli cities from deep in Lebanon, greatly reducing the effectiveness of the Israeli buffer zone. At the same time, Hezbollah’s attacks on the buffer zone itself grew increasingly deadly. IDF patrols were ambushed, and the SLA positions were overrun one after the other.

Nasrallah had a talent for leveraging those military victories into political achievements. He made sure that every successful Hezbollah operation was well photographed. The footage, duly edited and published by Hezbollah propagandists, painted Hezbollah as a young, vigorous, rising force, that was slowly but surely marching towards inevitable victory.

Both donors and young eager Shiite recruits flocked to join the Hezbollah bandwagon, while, on the other hand, its enemies were so demoralized that the SLA could no longer even recruit enough fighters just to replace its battlefield casualties. A growing number of Israelis urged their government to pull out of Lebanon altogether, arguing that the buffer zone was proving to be both costly and pointless.

Israel’s leadership eventually agreed to pull out, but only if Hezbollah consented to sign a treaty that would guarantee the safety of Israel’s northern frontier post-withdrawal. But Nasrallah refused. He knew that his enemies were so tired out that they would eventually withdraw anyway, with or without a deal. He was right. In a move that closely mirrored the recent U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan, the IDF pulled out of Lebanon in the dead of night, leaving its hapless SLA allies to fend for themselves. The very next day, Nasrallah delivered a victory speech in the Southern Lebanese town of Bint Jbeil, now firmly under Hezbollah control.

“Israel,” he declared, “has nuclear weapons and the strongest air force in the region – but the truth is, it’s weaker than a spider’s web.”

Nasrallah’s message resonated throughout the Middle East: Israel had been defeated once and could be defeated a second time.

For Hezbollah,

that second time came in 2006, when it launched a deadly cross-border raid into Israel, killing three soldiers and capturing two others. The war that followed demonstrated just how unprepared the IDF was. At first, Israel tried to win from the air, but its airstrikes proved remarkably ineffective against Hezbollah’s well-concealed rocket launchers. So, in an act of desperation, the IDF launched a blundering ground incursion into Southern Lebanon. Once again, Nasrallah demonstrated the power of his psychological warfare. He ended one infamous speech with a message to the Israeli public: “Now...in the middle of the sea...look at the warship that has attacked Beirut, as it burns and sinks before your very eyes.” Nasrallah’s announcement, made just as the navy ship was struck by Hezbollah’s missiles, caught Israeli officials off-guard.

It was some time before the IDF realized what had happened. In the meantime, various Israeli officials, including the hapless military spokesman, released a series of contradictory, garbled statements that did nothing to restore the public’s confidence.

In the past, Israel’s enemies had often claimed imaginary victories, and the Israeli public had learned to ignore all those empty boasts and rely on its own leadership for the truth. But now, for the first time, it was Nasrallah who was the more reliable source of information.

The powerful effect of that speech was apparent a full seventeen years later, when Nasrallah was preparing to deliver his first wartime speech last November. This time, the IDF was so obsessed with thwarting any possible in-speech dramatics, that it declared a unilateral cease-fire the day before the speech. The plan was

“Israel,” he declared, “has nuclear weapons and the strongest air force in the region – but the truth is, it’s weaker than a spider’s web.”

that, were Nasrallah to announce his plans to escalate the conflict, the IDF would immediately launch massive air raids against Hezbollah – just to rob Nasrallah of the spotlight.

The 2006 war seemed to confirm Nasrallah’s boast that Israel was weaker than cobwebs. Hezbollah had just demonstrated that Israel could no longer win a war. Yes, the Israelis could carry out daring commando missions and complex assassination attempts, but that was it. War demands perseverance as well as cunning, and Israel clearly didn’t have it.

A few years later,

as a wave of revolutions and coups swept the Arab world, it seemed for a moment that Hezbollah might suffer a devastating blow. One of its biggest patrons, Bashar al-Assad of Syria, was quickly losing his grip on power. His own country hated him, the Arab regional powers wanted him gone, and so did the U.S. and Turkey. But then Hezbollah teamed up with Russia and Iran to save Assad. While Hezbollah did sustain heavy losses during the fighting, it emerged from the war bigger and stronger than ever. By then, Hezbollah was no longer a mere terrorist organization – it was, essentially, a powerful non-state army. Its fighters were considered, even among some Israeli soldiers, to be the best in the Middle East.

A year ago, when Hamas launched its murderous attack on Israel, Nasrallah was apparently caught by surprise. Hamas had hoped that he would order Hezbollah to open a second front against Israel, perhaps by

invading the Galilee, but Nasrallah opted for a limited war of attrition instead. Over the following months, Hezbollah fired thousands of rockets at Israel, effectively depopulating dozens of border towns and turning tens of thousands of Israelis into refugees. Many Northerners whom I spoke to at the time demanded that Israel do something – but there was also a widespread sense that Israel just couldn’t win a war against Hezbollah. One gloomy prediction, that was plastered on the front page of one of Israel’s largest newspapers just a few weeks ago, claimed that an all-out war with Hezbollah would lead to fifteen thousand people dead. A common sentiment during those first few months was “Hamas is the enemy we hate, Hezbollah is the enemy we fear, and the Houthis [best described as a bunch of qat-chewing Yemeni Shiite shepherd-pirates who occasionally launch a missile or two at Israel] are just ridiculous.”

Then everything cha nged.

Israelis watched in awe as Hezbollah’s supposedly invincible military machine was dismantled in a matter of days. Nasrallah’s death seemed to confirm that the situation had changed irreversibly, that the old era of fear was over for good. As one young man told me, “I can’t believe that Nasrallah is really dead. I grew up on him. He was my childhood villain.”

Of course, Nasrallah’s death does not mean the end of Hezbollah, which will probably survive the war. However, it seems likely that Hezbollah will never fully recover. Israel had penetrated Hezbollah so thoroughly that just rebuilding a secure, effective communication system will take a while. Additionally, the group may have trouble replenishing its depleted ranks now that the prospect of becoming a Hezbollah fighter appears to be much more dangerous and much less glorious than ever. According to one Arab report, Hezbollah is struggling even to find a new leader – and has opted instead to be temporarily governed by committee.

Even more important, perhaps, is the fact the Israel has got its confidence back. The last year has demonstrated that Israel is fully capable of slogging through a long, grueling war, fighting for as long as it takes. The claim that Israel’s power of endurance is weaker than spider webs is now as dead as Nasrallah. The counter-analogy that Benjamin Netanyahu coined in response, of an Israel with iron sinews, appears to be closer to the truth.

And, as one IDF general told me at the beginning of the war, the only way to avoid bloodshed in the Middle East is to project so much strength that nobody wants to mess with you. Therefore, the general argued, Israel should settle for nothing less than a resounding victory. It might take years to achieve, but giving up early would guarantee decades of war.

I was skeptical. I told the general that Israel hasn’t won a war in my lifetime and that I couldn’t see that changing. The general looked me in the eyes and just replied quietly: “You’re right about the past, but I believe this time will be different.”

Maybe he knew something of what was to come, or maybe it was his faith in G-d and his country that persuaded him that the disaster of October 7 was bound to have at least some positive effect. I’m still a little skeptical, but, as time goes on, it appears as if the general might have been right after all.

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Centerfold

October Crossword Puzzle

Down

2. This hero once again becomes prime minister of England for a second time

3. This inventor figures out how to keep an electric incandescent lamp lit for over 13 hours

4. Couldn’t pick a better month to discover the Bahamas

7. Brooklyn loses its pride and joy

8. Egyptian president assassinated

9. Fall classic

11. Born in Malaga, Spain, on October 25, 1881, he became a world renowned artist

12. A legendary NY Jet plays his last game in the NFL as QB

ANSWERS: Down

2. Churchill

3. Thomas Edison

4. Christopher Columbus

7. Dodgers

8. Sadat

9. World Series

11. Picasso

12 Joe Namath Across

1. Groucho Marx

5. Great Chicago Fire

6. United Nations

10. Acquit

13. Arnold Schwarzenegger

14. Mount Rushmore

15. Babe Ruth

Across

1. Chico and Harpo’s brother celebrated his birthday in this month

5. A cow kicked over Ms. O’Leary’s lantern, causing this fire

6. Founded after World War II as a replacement for the League of Nations

10. “If it don’t fit, you must _______.”

13. The Terminator who was elected governor of California (good luck spelling his name)

14. Presidential rocks

15. This baseball great makes his final pitching appearance and, true to his name, also hits a home run in this game

Seen on…

Plumber’s truck - “I repair what your husband fixed.”

Pizza shop - “Buy my pizza. I knead the dough.”

Optometrist’s office - “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

Podiatrist’s office - “Time wounds all heels.”

Restaurant window - “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.”

Front yard of funeral home - “Drive carefully. I’ll wait.”

Tow truck - “We won’t charge an arm and a leg. We just want your tow.”

Mexican restaurant - “Soup of the day: Tequila!”

Photo shop - “We can shoot your mother-in-law. We can hang her, too!”

Dairy Queen - “Ruining your New Years resolution since 1962.”

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

The Italian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”

The Mexican says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.”

The Scot says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have Scotch.”

The Swede says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit.”

The Japanese says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have sake.”

The Russian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”

The German says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”

The Greek says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo.”

The Jew says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”

Riddle me This

A king has a treasure in a safe. He says to one of his advisors, “If you figure out which key unlocks the safe in five minutes or less, you can have the treasure.” The king then lays five colored keys in a row. One of them is a key to the safe. Using the clues, can you determine the order of the keys and which is the right key?

Red: This key is somewhere to the left of the key to the safe.

Blue: This key is not at one of the ends.

Green: This key is three spaces away from the key to the safe (2 between).

Yellow: This key is next to the key to the safe.

Orange: This key is in the middle.

The order (from left to right) is Green, Red, Orange, Blue, Yellow. The blue key is the key to the safe.

Answer:

Notable Quotes

“Say What?!”

Here’s what Kamala Harris said this week about what we should do when the war is over: “No reoccupation of Gaza,” “ no changing of the territorial lines of Gaza” and an “ability to have security in the region for all concerned in a way that we create stability.” I feel like if that’s what you have to say, don’t say anything. Just [be quiet].

- Bill Maher, HBO

I mean, everybody who talks about Israel these days is just so full of [garbage]. “I don’t want children to die.” Duh. Who does? None of us want children to die. None of us want this war to go on, but it’s not addressing what the problem is.

- Ibid.

The problem is that one side wants a two-state solution, or at least always did. It’s a little more right-wing now, I’m talking about Israel, but that still has been their position. One side never did and still doesn’t. One side uses terrorism to get their goals. One side retaliates against terrorism. One side is accused of genocide, but doesn’t do it. The other side actually would love to do it. People keep saying Israel has the right to defend itself, and then whatever Israel does, they object to it.

- Ibid.

To my dear family, GK Chesterton once said that “the true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” The north is burned and abandoned. This was one of the hardest things for me to see. We prepared a lot, and these are the values I was taught at home. The time has come, and our mission is to enable the residents of the north to return to their homes. The time has come to return the residents of the north to their homes. It is a privilege to be the ones to do so. I apologize if I have hurt anyone, and wish everyone blessings of the new year. We are ready.

- From a video message sent to his parents and six siblings by Capt. Eitan Itzhak Oster, 22, a squad commander in the Egoz commando unit from Modi’in, who was the first Israeli soldier killed in combat against Hezbollah

As I was saying…

- How Trump started his address at his triumphant return to Butler, PA, where the first assassination attempt took place

If Israel were to stop that genocidal, theocratic, unstable government from acquiring nuclear weapons, it would be a gift by the Jewish state to humanity.

- Canada’s opposition leader Pierre Poilievre when asked whether he supports Israel bombing Iran’s nuclear facilities

You are a psychopath, a dangerous madman, a sick man who will lose the war because reason, democracy and freedom win. We will always support Israel.

- Dutch politician Geert Wilders responding to Khamenei promising to destroy Israel

There is not a thing that comes to mind

- Vice President Kamala Harris, who is claiming to be the “candidate of change,” when asked on “The View” what she would have done differently than President Biden

UN Secretary General Condemns Israel For Shooting Down “Mostly Peaceful” Iranian Missiles

- Tweet by satire site Associated Fress

Breaking: IDF Ground Invasion in Lebanon is Underway. France Surrenders.

- Ibid.

If you learned these people you celebrate and defend…seethe with hatred for you and would torture and kill you in the of an eye, would that be enough?

- Dr. Phil on October 7, addressing brainwashed anti-Israel agitators

No administration has helped Israel more than I have. None. None, none. And I think Bibi should remember that. And whether he’s trying to influence the election, I don’t know, but I’m not counting on that.

- President Joe Biden at a White House press briefing responding to comments by Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) that Netanyahu doesn’t want to reach a peace deal before the U.S. elections

Saleh had the flag of Lebanon on his shirt the other day in London. Now we all know what’s going on in the Middle East. There is no sugarcoating of what’s going on in the Middle East. We all know about Hezbollah firing all these rockets out of Lebanon, and all what’s going on there, into Israel. We know he is Muslim. I think he is representing the people of Lebanon because I don’t believe the people of Lebanon really are happy with Hezbollah. I don’t think that’s the case at all. And I wonder if that has played into this in a way as well.

- Sports host Joe Benigno commenting after Jets head coach

Saleh was fired, less than one week after wearing a

game

When the smoke in the skies of Lebanon clears, Iran will realize that they have lost the precious asset they built for years – Hezbollah. A year after the start of the war, Hamas is a disbanded organization, and Hezbollah is a battered, broken organization, without command and control capabilities, without significant fire capabilities, with attempts to raise its head and above all without leadership.

- Israel Defense Minister Galant in the Northern Command

Robert

Lebanese flag patch at a Jets

These two men were both a heartbeat away from being interesting this evening.

— Stephen Colbert talking about the vice presidential debate

One of these men will lose, and we’ll never hear from him again, and the other one will become V.P. and we’ll never hear from him again.

— Michael Kosta

Great, the entire debate was pointless and irrelevant. So, in a way, it really did prepare them to be vice president. - ibid.

If you go into somebody’s house after the storm passes and think that you’re going to be able to commit crimes, you’re going to get in really serious trouble. And quite frankly, you don’t know what’s behind that door in a Second Amendment state.

- Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ warning to would-be looters in advance of Hurricane Milton

Hezbollah leadership shouldn’t buy green bananas.

- Tweet by Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) after Israel killed the new Hezbollah leader who took over for recently killed Nasrallah

Hebrain Jewish Jeopardy

by Barbara Landesman

ChassidiC dynasties

1)

This dynasty was founded by Rabbi Chaim Halberstam (1793-1876), rabbi of Nowy Sacz, author of “Divrei Chaim.”

a) Skver

b) Sanz

c) Siget

2)

This dynasty originated in Transylvania, Romania in 1927 when it was founded by Rabbi Yekusiel Yehudah Halberstam, a descendant of Rabbi Chaim of Sanz; currently the dynasty is based in two places: Netanya, Israel, and Brooklyn, New York (Boro Park).

a) Bobov

b) Belz

c) Klausenberg

3)

This dynasty originated with Rabbi Shlomo Halberstam (1847-1905) in Galicia, Poland, a grandson of Rabbi Chaim of Sanz; it is headquartered in Boro Park, Brooklyn with a disputed title of “Rebbe” between R’ Ben-Zion Aryeh Leibish Halberstam and R’ Mordechai Dovid Unger.

a) Bobov

b) Satmar

c) Ger

4)

This chassidic dynasty originated in the Polish town of Gora Kalwaria; its founder was R’ Yitzchak Meir Alter (1798-1866), known as The Chiddushei HaRim.

a) Klausenberg

b) Karlin-Stolin

c) Ger

5)

This chassidic dynasty began in a borough of Deblin, Poland, under the leadership of R’Yecheskel Taub (1755-1856); the leaders of this group are known for musical talent and have composed many musical tunes.

a) Belz

b) Ger

c) Modzitz

6)

Headquartered in Jerusalem, these two dhassidic groups are the only groups where boys aged 13 and older wear the golden coat and a shtreimel just as married men do on Shabbos.

a) Toldos Aharon and Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok

b) Gur and Sadigura

c) Sanz and Klausenberg

Food

1)

A confection consisting of small balls of dough boiled in a syrup of honey, sugar, and spices. Usually eaten on Rosh Hashana, Sukkos, Simchas Torah, and Purim.

a) Teigalach

b) Hamantashen

c) Turnovers

2)

Fried balls of chickpeas, there are traditionally eaten in pita bread with vegetables and sesame sauce, Israeli style.

a) Gvina

b) Kneidlach

c) Falafel

3)

A noodle, potato, or vegetable baked or fried pudding. From the German root meaning “ball” or “globe,” it’s usually served on Shabbos or yom tov.

a) Babka

b) Tabbouleh

c) Kugel

4)

“Slavic” in origin, literally “gut” or “intestine,” it is a mixture of meat, flour, and spices stuffed in intestine casing and baked.

a) Kibbe

b) Kishke

c) Cholent

5)

It’s a plain or sweet cracker made with egg and sugar, puffed, and eaten with dips and toppings.

a) Cholent

b) Kneidlach

c) Kichel

6)

This is a “meat with dough” dish of Arab origin consisting of a round thin piece of dough topped with minced meat.

a) Lahamajene

b) Falafel

c) Cholent

7)

From the Arab word meaning ball, it’s made from bulgar wheat and flour or rice and is shaped like a hollow torpedo. It’s generally filled with meat, vegetables, or fish and fried or baked.

a) Babaganoush

b) Kibbeh

c) Challah

who am i?

1)

French by nationality, I was known as “HaNadiv HaYadua” or the “Known Benefactor”; I established wineries in Rishon Lezion and Zichron Yaakov (Carmel) in Israel.

a) Moses Montefiore

b) Edmund Safra

c) Edmond de Rothschild

2) Between 1535 and 1542, I built the current walls in the Old City of Jerusalem.

a) Cyrus The Great

b) Sultan Suleiman The Magnificent

c) Grand Mufti of Jerusalem – Mohammad Amin al-Husseini

3)

Born in Kiev, educated in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I was the Prime Minister of Israel during the Yom Kippur War.

a) Chaim Weizmann

b) David ben Gurion

c) Gold Meir

4)

Known as “The Singing Rabbi,” I composed “Am Yisroel Chai, on behalf of Soviet Jewry in the mid-1960s. (1925-1994)

a) Matthew Paul Miller (Matisyahu)

b) Shlomo Carlebach

c) Mordechai ben David

5) In 1848, with help from my friend Friedrich Engels, I published the pamphlet, “The Communist Manifesto.”

a) Joseph Stalin

b) Leon Trotsky

c) Karl Marx

6)

I was born in Germany in 1813; my surname, Schonberg, was changed to a French translation; a famed thoroughbred horse race is named for me as is a racetrack in New York.

a) William Henry Vanderbilt

b) August Belmont Sr.

c) Achille Joseph Delamare

7) I am the monarch under whom the captivity of the Jews in Babylon ended; I issued an edict saying that the Temple in Jerusalem be rebuilt; I returned the klei kodesh and provided money for the Jewish Temple to be rebuilt.

a) Suleiman The Magnificent

b) Cyrus The Great, King of Persia

c) Alexander The Great

Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…

Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Dear Navidaters,

I enjoy reading your column every Shabbos. I was married during my twenties and thirties. I am in my late fifties now. Dating has been nothing short of a nightmare. From men who say they want to remarry only to spend months with them and find out they are not serious, to guys who can’t support themselves, to men with untreated mental illness, to men who don’t want to provide a penny for their second wife, I had given up.

A few months ago, a friend suggested a shidduch for me. A widower. We have been dating for a few months, and he’d like to marry me. I have feelings for him but I’m going to be very honest. I don’t know that I can handle how very much in love he is with his departed wife. I feel like a terrible person for saying this, but I don’t want to hear about it anymore. I want to listen and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I almost get the sense that he isn’t all that into me because he is in love with someone else.

This is a good man; I just don’t know what healing looks like for a widower. I would imagine he would always have feelings for her, and I appreciate and welcome that. This just feels way over the top, to the point that not a date goes by where he isn’t reminiscing about their times together. Am I being selfish for not wanting to hear about her all the time?

A little bit of a bad dynamic has begun where he will be talking about their times together on a date and ten minutes in I will say something like “You’re doing it again. Can we talk about us or something else?” Maybe it’s too soon for him? Maybe I am selfish? I don’t know. He wants to get married, and I don’t know what to do. He’s terrific and I don’t want to lose him. I’d appreciate your advice.

Sharon*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel

The Rebbetzin

Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

Sharon, you are wise to understand that healing from the loss of a spouse is different for a man. Men find it harder to express their feelings. They don’t share them with their friends. Therefore, when they begin to connect to a new woman and open up, they tend to share a lot about their first spouses. It is also understandable that a first spouse helped make the adult who they are, regardless of gender.

Nonetheless, bringing her up on each date seems too frequent unless the loss is very fresh.

This needs to be discussed between the two of you. So do expectations for this marriage. Each of you is coming from a different place. You had a marriage that didn’t work out and were alone for many years while you sought another partner. You are looking toward the future. He is looking at the past as well as the future. Make sure you communicate well and understand each other’s communication styles.

Invest time in discussion and seek counsel together. Are you looking to be taken care of? Adventure and travel? Is he looking for companionship and a home? Explore what are each of your needs and wants now that you have gotten to know each other well. Discuss what is realistic given the fact that each of you is already a developed adult with strengths, weaknesses, and habits.

Someone who has experience in dealing with second marriages, be it a rabbi or therapist, can be very helpful in navigating potential pitfalls the second time around. These include finances, children, a prenup, and more.

The Shadchan

Michelle Mond

Our lives are often compared to a book, each life with so many chap -

ters. Generally, these chapters are congruent and flow well with each other. Your dear friend the widower (let’s call him Ari) is in a tough spot, lo aleinu Tragically, with the special relationship ending with the passing of his first wife, Ari’s book was cut short. The book is now sealed, albeit with a planned sequel. The main characters of “Book One: Past” –Ari’s wife and children – and the main characters of the new book, “Book Two: Future,” shall rarely walk between the covers of their books.

Yes, Ari needs to remember his past life, which includes his departed wife. She deserves to be remembered, and reminiscing helps him heal. She is still a big part of his life, and that of many others. But while he can discuss her with his close family, rav, or therapist, he should rarely discuss her with you unprompted. Indeed, when it comes to the memory of his departed wife, Ari will need to suppress that when planning his future with you. Only this way will the two of you grow a healthy relationship together.

In case you feel I’m being too demanding of Ari, or accuse me of being callous, consider this: you cringe and feel uncomfortable when he mentions his departed wife. But now think about the flipside: Ari’s current children will cringe to hear their father discuss the idea of marrying you! Early on, their relationship with you might be strained. They will not want to hear about you, in the same way that you don’t want to hear about Ari’s departed wife. Two lives, and rarely shall the twain meet. This topic is so sensitive due to the tragic nature, and your relationship is so new and fragile. The less you mix these two of our Ari’s “lives,” the better. My suggestion is that you dedicate a time to discuss just this issue. Validate the importance of keeping her memory alive and their special relationship. Validate that she will always have a truly special place in Ari’s life and in his heart. But, while planning a potential life with you, he must find a way to detach himself from her memory and refrain from bringing her up. This is not a selfish request; this is the only way the two of you can build a brand-new loving, healthy relationship together. Hiring a therapist is likely the best way to help him through this challenge. Most importantly, be pa-

tient and supportive – this challenge will take him time and effort, and a change in his approach will not happen overnight. I wish the two of you much hatzlacha

The Zaidy

Dr. Jeffrey Galler

There is no way to minimize the problem that you are facing. Today, it is already difficult for single women to find suitable life partners; it is even more difficult for divorced, single women; and, it is even more difficult for older, single, divorced women.

The good news is that you have found a wonderful widower who wants to spend his life with you. And his continued devotion to his dear, departed wife clearly demonstrates that this is a man who is

He must do so in a way that makes you feel valued and respected and not make you feel like a second-class citizen.

capable of feeling a great deal of spousal love, commitment, and loyalty.

The bad news is that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life hearing about his dear, departed wife.

Apparently, you have already discussed this issue with him, but that hasn’t stopped him from reminiscing to you about his deceased wife.

Ordinarily, I suggest that folks should trust their own good common sense and act accordingly, but this is one of those situations where the two of you might benefit from professional help.

A professional counselor or therapist can help you deal with his feelings of nostalgia and loss, and also help him understand that while he may cherish his first wife, he must do so in a way that makes you feel valued and respected and not make you feel like a second-class citizen.

Good luck. I hope that you can both find a way to create a happy future together.

A Reader’s Response:

Chasi Feld Nitekman Lev Emuna Therapy (LET) Practitioner and Coach

Hi Sharon,

Firstly, I’d like to say that as a woman it must be tough to be in a situation that makes us feel we don’t have someone’s full heart . That being said, there is a tool I’ve learned and have found very successful with my clients. I don’t know the details about how long ago his wife died or if the talk about her was this intense from the beginning of your relationship so I will try my best to answer. There is a list of unmet needs that is very universal that we all have. Maybe

Pulling It All Together

The Navidaters

Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

Dear Sharon,

Thank you so much for writing!

I really appreciate your email and the situation you find yourself in. After years of fruitless frustration in the universe of dating after divorce, you have found a gem of a man. It seems like he is a good man and that you are compatible. I am hoping there is respect and chemistry and a mutual desire to be together and become one. As you are aware, the man you are in love with is a widower. He was in love with his wife, who was taken from him. And here he is, seemingly wanting to move on and in love with you. It seems to me that you understand that his departed wife will always hold a very special place in his heart and you honor that. His constantly talking

about her is what is worrying you and making you uncomfortable. I think your feelings make a lot of sense and are very valid. And I can certainly hold space for your inner conflict.

I think every couple should see a couples therapist before they get married, especially those who are doing this for the second time. I saw a great little video on social media. The caption read “First Marriage.” A woman knocks on a man’s door and she comes in with a tiny purse. She says some cutesy things about some minor family issues and a fight she was in and talks about her anxiety. She is laughing and giggling. The scene switches to “Second Marriage.” A woman enters a

Therapy Practitioner,

him talking about the times with his wife fulfills a need to hold on to a place of security, safety, stability or something else out of the box. Try not to think of the typical reasons you normally would. There is a whole list! Now think of your need for those in your life. How much we want that and need that for ourselves. You may feel a lot more emphatic towards him. Once that happens, you automatically may approach the topic in a softer way and energetically he too will understand it more.

When we change our perspective on the inside, circumstances around us change. There is a saying from our Sages: what comes from the heart enters the hear. He will hopefully be more sensitive to you and will be more conscious of the times he’s doing it. He should be more open to understanding that it’s something that won’t end up being so constant; he will eventually see why bringing her up often can make you uncomfortable.

With all this in mind, I will remind you in your words that he’s a terrific guy and you seem to have a lot of experience

The less you mix these two of our Ari’s “lives,” the better.

with dating men who are not in that caliber. After all my hishtadlus and everything is said and done, the way I do things is ask Hashem for guidance (actually that is the first step!) and to trust my gut. As I’m sure you know, he will always love his first wife and that is something only you can answer if you can live with. As you know, too, a good and honest man who loves you and wants to marry you is a true find. As women, we have the power to really set the tone of a home. Trust your inner binah. Wishing you so much hatzlacha, clarity and a year full of miracles! Shana tova..

man’s home, and she is carrying a knapsack “years of dating,” a suitcase (with her ex-husband in it), and I believe a third suitcase with all her stressors – financial, kids, trauma ascertained over the years, etc. She begins unpacking all her luggage. It is a tongue in cheek video that always gives me a good chuckle, because it’s so true.

Part of your partner’s “valise” or “pekalah” is that he will always be in love with his departed wife. Many widowers get remarried. There must be a gentle dialogue around creating some sort of flexible boundary around how much, how often, where and when he talks about his former wife with you. I am hopeful this can be lovingly and gently created with the help of a therapist.

As you know, a good man is hard to find. Ultimately, you must pay attention to your intuition and feel comfortable

moving forward. You should ultimately make each other feel a sense of safety and security and feel like each other’s priorities are “numero uno.” It sounds like you understand that on some level you will be sharing the space of “numero uno” and you are comfortable with that. It is that he is talking about his other numero uno way too much and it makes you uncomfortable. Check into couples counseling together for a bit and see if this can be worked through, if this is a relationship you feel is worth the time and effort. And it sounds to me like it is.

Getting remarried is not for the faint of heart. It is not something that should be rushed into. Take your time and give this relationship the therapeutic attention it deserves.

Sincerely, Jennifer

and makeup artist, working as an inner and outer beauty work advocate. She is certified in hypno-process,

and anxiety release and manifestation utilizing Torah and Kabbalah sources. To learn more or book your session, she can be reached at 917-588-3636.

Chasi Feld Nitekman, our guest panelist, is a Lev Emuna

coach

trauma

Forgotten Her es Yom Kippur War Operations

By Avi Heiligman

The Yom Kippur War started on October 6, 1973, when a coalition of Arab countries launched a surprise attack on Israel. Arab forces were supplied with Soviet weapons, vehicles, and planes while Israel was supported by the United States in a massive resupply operation. The main battles took place in the Golan Heights in the north against Syria and on the southern front against Egyptian forces in the Sinai Peninsula. While most of the fighting took place on these fronts, there were smaller missions undertaken by the IDF that mostly get overshadowed by the larger operations.

Not all of these missions were successful, as the air force found out the hard way. The first few days of the war were tough on the Israeli Air Force as it took losses trying to provide cover for ground forces. Its main adversaries were surface-to-air missiles, and on the second day of the war, the air force undertook missions on both fronts to attacks the missile sites. Operation Model 5 was a failure as two pilots were killed and nine were captured while destroying just one Syrian missile battery. Operation Tagar to take over the Egyptian missile batteries didn’t fare much better as two A-4 Skyhawks and their pilots were lost. The mission was aborted after the first wave due to the losses, but seven Egyptian air bases were damaged.

It took three days for the air force and the IDF to halt the Arab advances, but Israel still needed to regain the territory lost in the initial stages of the war. Reinforcements arrived and pushed back the Syrians until the IDF was shelling areas near Damascus in the north and crossed the Suez Canal in the south. Meanwhile, the Israeli Navy was busy dealing with enemy ships and boats that posed a threat to land and naval assets.

The IDF was concerned that naval forces from Egypt could interfere with IDF land operations in Red Sea and Suez

regions. Shayetet 13 naval commandos commenced the first of four raids on October 9 that ultimately destroyed two Egyptian Kumar missile boats anchored at a coastal city in the Red Sea. These operations also eliminated the threat of the Egyptians to use landing craft to try and reinforce their troops on the west coast of the Gulf of Suez. Divers were

up the other damaged boat.

Israel’s naval commandos remained busy throughout the war and on the night of October 16 took out four Egyptian vessels at Port Said on the Egyptian coast. Israeli mini submarines were used to penetrate the defenses of the port and used mines to sink four Egyptian ships. Unfortunately, two of the Is -

It took three days for the air force and the IDF to halt the Arab advances, but Israel still needed to regain the territory lost in the initial stages of the war.

sent in the middle of the night to avoid detection and placed underwater mines on the hull of the one of the boats to be put out of service. After another unsuccessful operation, the commandos used anti-ship rockets to hit another of the Kumar boats. That boat was completely burnt, and the Egyptians realized that the Ardaka anchorage was not a safe place for their missile boats and blew

raeli commandos didn’t return and were possibly sunk by enemy depth charges.

Earlier on October 16, the 264th Battalion conducted a raid deep into Egyptian territory. The IDF staged the raid to take out enemy missile sites to allow the air force to operate in the area. The battalion crossed the canal in tanks and armored personnel carriers (APCs) in the early hours of the morning with the

objective of destroying six missile sites. The 264th was led by Giora Lev and first encountered Egyptian outposts. After eliminating the threats, the column moved quickly towards the first missile base and took it out as well the radar facility stationed at the base. The next base was empty. Moving towards another site, the battalion came upon a group of dozens of Egyptian vehicles that were not expecting an Israeli force deep on the western side of the canal. The Israelis took out many of these vehicles and took out two more missile bases. Altogether, the battalion destroyed missile sites and despite the breakdown of one of its tanks suffered no casualties in the surprise raid. Egyptian high command had no clue that an Israeli force was operating that far into Egyptian territory, and the Israelis avoided detection by quickly moving between locations. The Israelis did come across some SA-6 missiles but had to destroy them instead of bringing one back to base where it could have been studied to provide intelligence to the air force.

The issue of the advanced anti-aircraft capabilities of the Arab forces loomed large throughout the entire war. Many of the missions, including some not recounted in this article, took place to limit or remove the surface-to-air missile threat that had been upgraded by Russia in the years leading up to the Yom Kippur War. There were many Israeli casualties during the intense fighting that lasted until October 25, and the Israeli victory came at a high cost. The Forgotten Heroes who conducted these raids may not be household names, but their heroism on the battlefield is to be remembered.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

Health & F tness

Building Strong Bonds

Tips from a Relationship Coach for Nurturing Healthy Relationships

By Rabbi Dr. Noam Weinberg

In this rapidly evolving world that we find ourselves living in, maintaining strong connections with family, friends, and spouses is essential, especially within the frum community where values of togetherness and support are paramount. As a relationship coach, I always look to emphasize the importance of effective communication as a cornerstone of healthy relationships. When people speak a language that the other can understand, relationships flourish. However, when people are stuck speaking in a way that is comfortable for them, it may feel better in the moment but carry with it long-term effects. Practicing open dialogue without judgment can foster deeper understanding and empathy. Simple systems like active listening, where one truly focuses on what the other is saying without interrupting, can transform everyday conversations into meaningful exchanges that reinforce bonds. The act of being present changes relationships from one feeling distant or invisible to feeling relevant and loved.

In addition to communication, emotional support plays a critical role in nurturing relationships. Validation is an es-

sential element for healthy relationships where individuals express appreciation for one another’s feelings and experiences. This can be as straightforward as checking in with a family member after a long day or offering words of encouragement during challenging times. By prioritizing these practices, members of our community can cultivate an environment where love and understanding thrive, ultimately leading to more resilient and fulfilling connections.

I would like to briefly explore three elements of effective communication and emotional support which I believe are the cornerstones for healthy relationships.

1. Honesty and transparency

2. Emphasis on experiential learning in relationships (John Dewey)

3. The significance of positive psychology in fostering strong connections and how to cultivate gratitude and appreciation among family and friends.

Honesty and transparency are essential for effective communication and emotional support. When individuals are honest and transparent, it allows for them to work through issues based on trust. Trust is critical when we work to build emotional

vulnerability and a general safe place for people to share thoughts and feelings. Without trust, people become guarded and may not be present for one another emotionally. Additionally, it reduces misunderstandings and assumptions which never assist in healthy relationship building. When people feel safe sharing thoughts and ideas or even expressing themselves emotionally, they will enjoy the profoundly meaningful emotional intimacy that is not just a cornerstone but a foundation of strong and vibrant relationships. Due to the great importance trust, safety and vulnerability play in relationships, I will often spend large amounts of time with my clients helping them to learn how to access emotions and label them appropriately, which, in turn, allows them the vulnerability they need and the emotional connection they crave.

One of the other major reasons that honesty and transparency are so integral to healthy relationships is due to emotional bandwidth. What I mean by that is the fact that we all have a certain amount of emotional bandwidth in our lives that we can handle. When it reaches a boiling point and overflows, most of us will find a way

to alleviate the overflow and create space for other things that we need. When we are not honest with our loved ones, it requires a tremendous amount of mental and emotional space to remember the lies and stories. While it is sometimes difficult to be honest and may even cause pain initially, the words of Dovid HaMelech couldn’t be truer, “Hazorim b’dima, b’rina yiktzoru,” we plant with tears and reap with joy. At the end of the day, as difficult as it may be to be honest with oneself and others, the ultimate result is one which sees relationships become healthy and flourish.

The question which begs to be asked is what techniques can be used to express thoughts and feelings constructively in an honest and transparent way? My two favorite go-to techniques in this area are:

1. Open-Ended Questions: This technique looks to encourage dialogue through open-ended questions. When individuals do this, they give permission for deeper exploration of thoughts and feelings. The way this is done is, instead of asking “yes” or “no” questions, one might say, “Can you share how you felt about that situation?” This type of question invites the other

person to express themselves fully and honestly, encouraging a more expressive conversation.

2. Reflective Sharing: This involves articulating one’s thoughts and feelings while also acknowledging the other person’s perspective. For example, one might say, “I feel anxious when plans change unexpectedly, and I understand that it can be frustrating for you, too.” This approach fosters honesty while validating both parties’ emotions, leading to a more constructive and empathetic exchange.

John Dewey, among other things, was a master educator and trailblazer in the field of experiential learning. His insights into the world of individual growth and learning from life has always had a big impact on me and my particular style in both education and the world of relationship coaching. I am fond of saying that experiential learning isn’t for the classroom alone. Relationships fare much better when utilizing experienc-

step, it is easy to get lost in the action itself. Alas, we are not perfect, and that is not the way Hashem created us. Rather, we make mistakes with the hope of evolving and becoming better as a result. Therefore, the experiential element to relationships is so important in that when mistakes do happen, we learn in real time how to navigate

niques of reframing and cognitive restructuring is that of positive psychology. This relatively new and popular branch of psychology focuses on understanding and enhancing well-being, personal strengths, and what makes life worth living. It emphasizes positive experiences and specific traits to help a person evolve

The act of being present changes relationships from one feeling distant or invisible to feeling relevant and loved.

them. This, of course, is predicated on what we discussed earlier, namely, the need to be honest and open about our thoughts and

and ground him or herself in the here and now. One of the ways of doing this is by way of cultivating gratitude and appreci-

place to get lost, and there are many shells of relationships that get stuck, never to return. However, when one flips the construct and looks for the blessings and cultivates gratitude, it can be a game changer and be a huge facet to repair. By embracing honesty and transparency, prioritizing experiential learning, and applying positive psychology, we can strengthen our relationships and cultivate gratitude among family and friends. These strategies not only enhance our connections but also enrich our community. It takes work, patience and the know-how to do it right. So let’s not just connect the dots – let’s draw masterpieces!

Rabbi Dr. Noam Weinberg’s unique niche is drawing on his robust professional and academic background with the integration of spiritual wisdom, educational principles,

Chol Hamoed Guide

Baltimore, Maryland

Here are some great activities in Maryland that are family appropriate. While some you may recognize, others are off the beaten trail and can make for amazing Chol Hamoed trips. This list is just some suggestions and not an all inclusive list of things to do in Maryland.

Editor’s note: The costs and entry fees are based on information available online at the time of publishing. However prices may be different or have changed.

attractions

Antietam Battlefield

302 E Main St, Sharpsburg, MD 21782

9am - 5pm

$10/person | $20/vehicle | Annual Pass $35

CALVERT CLIFFS STATE PARK

10540 H G Trueman Rd, Lusby, MD 20657

7:30am - 5pm

$5/vehicle (+$2 for out-of-state residents)

CYLBURN ARBORETUM

4915 Greenspring Ave, Baltimore, MD 21209

T-S 8am - 8pm

Free Flower and Vegetable Gardens | Nature Education Center

BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAILROAD MUSEUM

901 W Pratt St, Baltimore, MD 21223

10am - 4pm Child (2 - 12) $12 | Adult $20 | Senior (60+) $17

CLARK'S ELIOAK FARM

10500 Clarksville Pike, Ellicott City, MD 21042

S 10am - 5:30pm, M-F 10am - 5pm

$8 (Rides are Extra) Farm | Petting Zoo | Miniature Train Rides | Fairy Tale Forest

FORT MCHENRY NATIONAL MONUMENT

2400 E Fort Ave, Baltimore, MD 21230

9am - 5pm

$15 (7 day pass)

$45 (annual pass) for up to four adults (16+)

Self-guided and Virtual Tours | Special Events Scheduled On Chol Hamoed. Check Website for Details.

GODDARD SPACE FLIGHT VISITOR CENTER

9432 Greenbelt Rd, Greenbelt, MD 20771

Th-F 10am - 3pm, S-M closed | Free

Research Laboratory for NASA | Spacecraft Displays and Space Technology | Model of the Hubble Space Telescope | Interactive Space Related Displays

MARYLAND SCIENCE CENTER

601 Light St, Baltimore, MD 21230

W-F 10am-4pm, S 10am - 5pm

Adult (12- 61) $29.95 | Child (3-12) $21.95 |

Senior (62+) $28.95 | IMAX +$5

Exhibits | Planetarium | Observatory | IMAX Theater

NATIONAL AQUARIUM

501 E Pratt St, Baltimore, MD 21202

9am - 5pm

Child (5-20) $39.95 | Adult (21-69) $49.95 |

Senior (70+) 39.95

PATUXENT RIVER NAVAL AIR MUSEUM

22156 Three Notch Rd, Lexington Park, MD 20653

T-Sat 10am - 5pm, S 12PM - 5PM

Child (5 - 12) $4 | Adult $10 | Active Duty and Seniors (60+) $7

Aircraft Displays | Galleries Exhibits | Flight Simulators (Sundays)

IRVINE NATURE CENTER

11201 Garrison Forest Rd, Owings Mills, MD 21117

T-F 9am - 5pm | $5 (6+) Fridays are free

Trails | Open Wetlands | Upland Forests | Meadows | Farmland | Natural Habitats for Animals and Vegetation | Exhibition Hall with Exhibits for Children

MARYLAND ZOO

1 Safari Pl, Baltimore, MD 21217

10am - 4pm | $26, Senior Discount Online

PATAPSCO VALLEY STATE PARK

8020 Baltimore National Pk, Ellicott City, MD 21043

9am - Sunset

$2/vehicle (+$2 for out-of-state residents), +$1 on Weekends and Holidays

Picnic Areas | Camping | Playgrounds | Trails + Cascade Falls

RAWLINGS CONSERVATORY

3100 Swann Dr, Baltimore, MD 21217

W-S 10am - 4pm

Free (Recommended Donation $5/person)

Conservatory showcases many different types of flowers and other plants in five distinct greenhouse rooms.

PORT DISCOVERY

35 Market Pl, Baltimore, MD 21202

S 11am - 5pm | $24.95

SkyClimber | Tot’s Trails | The Oasis | Overlook

Activities

AMF WOODLAWN LANES

6410 Security Blvd, Baltimore, MD 21207

Check online or call for hours.

Prices vary. Check online or call to see what special deals are currently running

BOWLERO PIKESVILLE LANES

1723 Reisterstown Rd, Pikesville, MD 21208

Check online or call for hours. Most days start at 4 PM and on Sundays opens at 12 PM

Prices vary. Check online or call to see what special deals they are currently running

MAIN EVENT

10300 Little Patuxent Pkwy Suite 2520, Columbia, MD 21044

11am - 12am (check closing times if going late)

Prices depend on activities. They run special deals from time to time.

Video Arcades | Bowlings | Pool Tables And Laser Tag

CLIMB ZONE

13200 Mid Atlantic Blvd Ste 130, Laurel, MD 20708

10am - 6pm (Special Hours for Chol Hamoed and Isru Chag, October 20-23 and 27)

Prices Vary

BAUGHER’S FARMS

1015 Baugher Rd, Westminster, MD 21158

9am - 6pm

Fees Vary

Pick Your Own Fruits and Vegetables | Petting Zoo and Playgrounds

LARRILAND FARMS

2415 Woodbine Rd, Woodbine, MD 21797

M Closed T-F 9am - 6pm, S 9am - 5pm

Fees Vary

Pick Your Own Fruits and Vegetables

ULTRAZONE LASER TAG

7835 Eastpoint Mall #11, Baltimore, MD 21224

S 12pm - 8pm, M-F 4pm - 8pm

$8.99 (1 Game), $19.99 (3 Games), All Day Passes Prices Vary on the Day

PLAYERS FUN ZONE

519 Old Westminster Pike, Westminster, MD 21157

S 11AM - 6:30PM | M-W 4PM-8PM

Starting at $16

**Waiver Required

COMMUNITY SIMCHAS BEIS HASHOEIVA

Shomrei Emunah, 6221 Greenspring Ave.

Motzei Shabbos, October 19 9:00pm-11:30pm

Free

SIMCHAS BEIS HASHOEIVA Mercaz Torah U-Tefillah, 6500 Baythorne Rd.

Sunday, October 20 10:00pm

Free

MIAMI BOYS CHIOR LIVE IN BALTIMORE Goucher College, Kraushaar Auditorium

Monday, October 21 2:30pm

Check website for details miamiboyschoir.com

It was scary, but I was not scared. After three months of mostly tribulations, we are now officially Israeli after having sheltered in the garage of the Malcha Mall in Jerusalem as Iranian missiles rained on Israel.

The entire country sheltered in place. As we shopped for Rosh Hashana finery, our phones lit up with warnings that instructed us to find a safe place no matter where in Israel you lived. Try to imagine being in a place where every man, woman and child needs to drop whatever they are doing and run for shelter as the skies light up with deadly fire.

It was scary, but we were not scared. Our little group of three, granddaughters Ariela, Elisheva and I, were on line at the American Eagle store trying to pay for comfy pajamas when the sirens called. Ariela, ever practical and hands filled with stuff, asked the cashier if we could pay before the registers closed down.

“No!”

We followed the mostly calm and polite crowd to the garage looking for safety. No one screamed, ran or looted. I have experienced and observed chaos while in New York during blackouts and storms. I was in awe of the decorum and support of the holiday shoppers as we made our way to the places that we were directed.

From previous “bombings,” Israelis have learned that it takes approximately 12 minutes from launch to landing for missiles to reach the target; 12 tense and nerve-wracking minutes.

School of Thought

Thank You, Hashem

By Barbara Deutsch

All anyone in that crowded and diverse group of young, old, multinational groups of Israelis wanted was to go home and wait it out with their loved ones beside them. I am so blessed that Ariela and Elisheva kept me in their sights and entertained me with their shenanigans; veterans of too many sirens, they have learned the drills and the protocols all too well. I found out later, after we were finally home, that they were worried about me and that I would lose it.

this morning, I reflected on the sparsity of educational technology and supplies. In a war-torn country, there simply is no money for Smartboards or iPads and laptops for students. Being in an Israeli classroom is a trip back in time to when things were projected on whiteboards.

Despite sunshine, cloudless skies, Rosh Hashana classes, shiurim , sukkot for sale on every corner, and the air heavy with the aroma of every kind of

Try to imagine being in a place where every man, woman and child needs to drop whatever they are doing and run for shelter as the skies light up with deadly fire.

Bob and our grandson Yosef were shopping on their own and made it home just as the first siren went off. They study English together and waited it out reading together in our miklat. Only after I called and checked in did they finally leave the room. I was prepared to wish everyone a Shana Tova from a place of peace and acceptance; grateful for the opportunity to spend this chapter of our lives in our dreamland. Make no mistake, we consider ourselves beyond lucky to be here. Yet, sitting in Ulpan, better but not much,

food, there is a heaviness that comes with threat and worry about the hostages and what will be tomorrow.

Before we go to sleep every night, Bob and I review our day. Even though we spend it mostly together, we share its impact on our very different selves. When I asked him how he felt after our first real bomb attack – for all kinds of reasons we slept through the April Iran bombing – his response was simple and Bob-like.

“Israel is our home, and we better get used to it!”

As children of Holocaust survivors, we were taught to never take for granted having food on our table and clothes on our back. We were constantly reminded that Jews have to sleep with one eye open as this world is not a friendly place for us.

Bob’s right.

As we greet a new year, we do so with the fervent hope that it will be better than this last difficult one for too many. Despite all of the trials, we are so grateful for this land and the gifts it keeps on giving.

We continue to sleep with one eye in search of the protection of Hashem; we do not take for granted that it is He who picks the bombs out of the black sky and prevents them from harming us.

To my readers, thank you for traveling on this journey with me. Your sweet checking-in messages are appreciated. Wishing you a year of health, joy and safety. I reach out to you to come join us if you can, when you can.

There is no place like home!

Shabbat shalom, g’mar chatima tova for our beloved Am Yisroel.

Barbara Deutsch is the former associate principal at HANC, middle school principal at Kushner, and Dean of Students at Yeshiva of Flatbush. A not-retired educator, she is trying to figure out life in Israel through reflections on navigating the dream of aliyah as a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and friend.

Rena Feigenbaum, 5

Note: Not all submission have been published. Keep sending in your artwork for another chance to be featured!

Eliana, 5

Avigail P., 8

Azi Sperling, 4

Ariella, 6

Atara & Moshe Milch, 9 & 7

Ayelet Winchell, 7

Ariella Gugenheim, 7

Bella Scheinfeld, 8

Shua Elefant, 6

Ashira Winchell, 4

Ari Rosenbaum 7

Note: Not all submission have been published. Keep sending in your artwork for another chance to be featured!

Avigail Rosenblum, 7

Shoshana Gorin, 7

Yael, 6

Yitzchak Rooshanshad, 11

Yaakov Schuchman, 4

Riki Kleiner, 8

Tzipora Loewy, 4

Rena Gross, 10

Talya Z., 5

Leah E., 4

B.S.

Eliana, 9 & Sarah Aliza, 7

Chaya Schuchman

Leo Orner, 5

Deena Cohen, 10

Moey Kramer, 5

Dalia Stein, 8

Zehava Katz, 2

Lielle, 5

Eli Felder, 4

Batsheva Lehrfield, 10

Tehilla & Rivka Rosenbaum, 7

Eitan, 2

Chedvah Mark, 6

Ben & Reuvin

In The K tchen

Pargiyot

By Naomi Nachman

Last week I shared a recipe of dates stuffed with lamb. I got to thinking that the same ingredients will work well with pargiyot as a chicken dish. With a few changes in the recipe, I had this brand-new, delicious recipe.

Ingredients

◦ 10 pargyiot or white meat cutlets

◦ Cornstarch

◦ ½ teaspoon cumin

◦ ½ teaspoon allspice

◦ ¼ teaspoon cinnamon

◦ 1 teaspoon kosher salt

◦ 1/8 teaspoon pepper

Sauce

◦ 1/3 cup pomegranate molasses

◦ 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

◦ 1 tablespoon silan

◦ 1 tablespoon tomato paste

◦ 1 teaspoon kosher salt

◦ Crushed black pepper

◦ 1 cup water

◦ 1 cup red wine

Garnish

◦ 2 tablespoons pine nuts

◦ Pomegranate seeds

◦ Fresh chopped herbs

Preparation

Place cornstarch and spices into a medium bowl. Coat all the chicken pieces on both sides with the cornstarch mixture and set aside.

In a large sauté pan on medium-high heat, add canola oil until hot; brown chicken on both sides. Remove chicken and set aside.

In the same pan, add all the sauce ingredients and bring to a boil. Add the chicken back into the pan and baste the chicken in the sauce.

Cover and simmer for 20 minutes.

Remove cover, baste again, and cook for another 10 minutes on low heat.

Garnish with pine nuts, pomegranate seeds, and herbs before serving.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.