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Top Ten Things Your Child’s Principal Wants You To Know
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TOP 10 THINGS Your Child’s Principal Wants You to Know at the Start of This School Year
1. My priority is your child. At the same time, remember that I cannot respond immediately. Give me 24 hours. It’s not personal. I don’t lead only 400 children. I lead 400 only children.
2. Talk to me. Tell me about concerns you have. If there’s something that your child has been going through, your family has experienced, or a medication your child has started, trust me and my staff that we will keep your confidence. It’s good for us to know these details to understand your child and give him or her the right kind of support.
3. Perspective taking is important. When your child comes home and shares something with you, call me to find out what happened. There are often two perspectives.
4. Call me, email me, but remember: talk to the teacher first. Go to the teacher about issues that arise or concerns you have before coming to my office. The teacher is at the frontlines and works with your child most closely.
5. Help your child process things, but try not to escalate issues. Your child is here to become a resilient adult who grows from adversity. Encourage your child to stretch him or herself and praise him or her for doing so. Your child will grow from it.
6. Anxiety in children is at an all-time high. Acknowledge it, work with me, and let’s work together to parlay the anxiety into strength. This is coming out in different ways in different children. Camps this summer reported that older children were homesick this summer and that the anxiety levels are rising. This is a reality that we cannot change. But our goal is for children to become resilient in the face of obstacles, to manage their anxiety, and eventually become strong adults. Together, we can help the students grow.
7. Failure is not always a bad thing. Don’t try to clear the way of every obstacle and cure every F into an A. These are growth points for children: what do I do when I fail? How do I manage it? How do I use failure as a growth point? Take a step back and help your child come up with solutions and move forward rather than fixing the failure and intervening. As a parent, this is hard to follow. But it’s in your child’s best interest.
8. Ninety percent of life is showing up. If your child isn’t in school, he won’t learn. Schedule the orthodontist for after-hours. If you need to pull your child out for an appointment, send her back to school after it’s done.
9. Take my advice. Really. When I advise you to hire a tutor, sign a child up for ice skating, work with an older mentor, or pull in a therapist, it’s in your child’s best interest. I do not make these recommendations lightly.
10. I am your partner. If we are partners, your child will grow.
1. We’re on the same page here. We’re working together. If I’m telling you your child has struggled with something, it’s because it stands out from 500 other students I’ve seen over my years of experience. Please get your child the help I advise.
2. I really do enjoy your child. I wish I could tell you that every day. When I reach out to you with an issue, it’s not because it’s the only thing I notice. It’s because I’m busy that I don’t talk to you every day about the other wonderful things that I see in your child.
3. Don’t battle with your children about homework. Set a timer. Then tell me how long it took and what the child accomplished. If he could only do one math problem during that time, we have learned something about your child and his mastery of the material, his struggles with the subject, or perhaps his learning speed and style.
4. Don’t project your anxiety onto your children. Don’t assume that just because you struggled with a specific subject in school (i.e., math) that your child will as well. Always encourage your child in every subject, not just those that interest you.
5. Don’t internalize your child’s experiences. Easier said than done: all of us have lost sleep over the birthday party invitation that failed to arrive, the bad test, and playground politics. But if we can all take a step back, we can react and support our children better.
6. It’s okay if he’s not friends with the cool kids. Sometimes, even if they seem nice, they’re actually mean. And your kids don’t have to be friends with your friends’ children. To quote the Yiddish wisdom of Mrs. Faigy Friedman of Baltimore, “Go where you are wanted.” Find your place and space and grow from that group rather than trying to be part of another group.
7. If we discipline your child and let you know, we’re simply letting you know. Unless we ask you to process it with your child, file it away and let it go. Your child doesn’t have to have a consequence at home for something he or she already received a consequence for at school.
8. Give time and space for homework every day. Put out the right supplies to get it done. Take away and put away phones during that time.
9. Shluf gezunt. A good night’s sleep is so important for learning – as is coming on time.
10.We are a team. You’re their first teacher, and we’re here to work together. Keep me in the loop about your child’s growth and struggles. Our goal is shared: to help your child become the best he or she can be.
