Baltimore OUTloud • January 22, 2016

OUT

AN INDEPENDENT VOICE FOR THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER COMMUNITIES

The Man Who Buried Them Remembers

BY MARK S. KING When he conducted the funerals, Tom Bonderenko tells me, he always wore his priestly garments and white stole. Even when no one showed up for the graveside service.

“It was important to show dignity and respect,” Tom says. He taps the coffee cup in his lap nervously. “I’m sorry,” he says.

He clears his throat but it doesn’t keep his eyes from welling up. “No one has asked me about this in a really long time.”

We are sitting in his of ce at Moveable Feast, the Baltimore meal delivery agency for those with life-threatening illnesses, where Tom has served as director for the last eight years. His of ce is spacious and cheerful, but this conversation is a dif cult one. He had discreetly closed his of ce door behind me when I arrived.

When Moveable Feast was founded in 1989 to deliver meals to home-bound AIDS patients, Tom was engaged in a different,

Fuzz Roark

more literal ministry to the disenfranchised.

He was a priest staf ng a homeless shelter for Catholic Charities of Baltimore. It was there he met someone with AIDS for the rst time.

“A young man came to the door of the emergency shelter, sometime in 1987,” he says. “He was covered in black marks. Lesions, you know. Everywhere. He said he needed to clean up before his rst doctor appointment the next day.”

Tom had grown up in New York City, and as a gay man he had known people who died very suddenly, as far back as the early 1980s. But he had never stood face to face with someone so ill with the dreaded disease.

I couldn’t help but ask Tom how he felt, meeting that person.

Tom stares out his of ce window, and his eyes are so beautiful, romantically blue, framed with creases of worry. The eyes of

BY RYAN CLARK Upon meeting Fuzz Roark you are immediately drawn to his southern charm and warm personality. Since 2005, the South Carolina native has been the artistic managing director of one of Baltimore’s special gems, Audrey Herman’s Spotlighters Theatre.

Recently, Fuzz has made waves in the Baltimore theatre community by announcing Spotlighters planned move from Mt. Vernon to the new “up and coming” Bromo Arts District. Spotlighters would like to renovate the historic Read’s Drug Store on the corner of Howard and Lexington streets turning it into a theatre space. Making waves is part of what makes this long-time theatre enthusiast and professional tick.

January 22, 2016 Volume XIII, Issue 21

a priest. He turns back to me with an Tom answer. “Here was a young man who Bonderenko was going to nd out from a doctor the next day that he had AIDS,” he manages. He starts tapping his coffee cup again, and he bows his head reverently. “And he was about to be told that he was going to die.”

Tom never saw the young man again.

People with AIDS became more common at the shelter before long.

Tom got to know the regulars, and they began to ask him to perform their funeral services.

“They just wanted to know they would be buried,” he says quietly.

“They didn’t want or need anything religious. Most of them were estranged from their families – drug abuse, that sort of thing. I think they were embarrassed to reach out to relatives.

Sometimes, when they died we would nd a member of the family to come, but usually it was just me and the departed simple wooden boxes, and they always conat the gravesite.” tained a body. The funeral home would not The burials were performed at unmarked cremate someone who died from AIDS begraves in a lonely section of Baltimore Cem- cause they were afraid of poisoning the air. etery. The caskets were as charity required, —continued on page 3

Custodian of a Dream Born in South Carolina and travelling between several states Roark found himself in Indiana where he could no longer stand the bitter-cold climate. In 2001, Roark landed a social work position in Maryland and found himself curious about the theatre scene in Charm City. Having spent most of his life, and part of his undergraduate training, in theatre, Fuzz enjoyed the communal aspect of theatre and wanted to continue that in his life here.

Enter, Audrey Herman. Herman started Spotlighters in the basement of the former Madison Hotel in 1962 where she paid $100 a month in rent and borrowed chairs

FUZZ ROARK

for performances from the Ruck Funeral Home. Spotlighters served as a gateway to countless souls yearning to be actors, directors, or simply part of the family that theatre provides. “I was dating a guy who brought me to see a show at Spotlighters.

When I first met Audrey, she terrified me,” jokes Roark. “She was larger than life. She attacked me with her huge caftan scooping me up like a butterfly. She took me backstage during intermission of the show to meet the actors. I was horrified to be in—continued on page 15

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NEWS // LOCAL THE MAN WHO BURIED THEM REMEMBERS – continued from page 1

“I’m so sorry,” he says, again, wiping his face. “I haven’t talked about this in so long.” He considers the faraway scene he “I would always conduct the service out has conjured, his graveside questions to no loud,” says Tom, now sharing the details. one, and then adds, “It was the most im“I would speak about the departed, and portant, meaningful thing I have ever done.” say what I knew of them, about where they I wonder aloud if the experience bolwere from. And then I would ask if anyone stered his religious faith or challenged it inpresent had been harmed by stead. He looks surprised by the question. “Well,” he answers after a moment, the departed…”

“I believe it strengthened my faith. Yes.” I imagined Tom, in his vestments and alone in a forgotI want very much to believe him.

Tom left Catholic Charities, and the ten graveyard, asking intimate priesthood, not long after he conducted questions out loud to the grass the last of his burials for the homeless. A and the trees and the disinterAs a young decade later he joined Moveable Feast ested silence. “I would say that priest and embraced its mission to provide if the departed had harmed sustenance for people in need, people anyone,” he goes on, “for that person to please forgive them.” Tom’s voice like those to whom he once ministered.

Tom’s fellow staff members know little falters. “And then I would ask the departed to forgive, too. I would tell them, ‘You’re on about his life a generation ago. Most of them aren’t aware of the aching memories the other side now. Let it go.’”

Tom’s of ce becomes very still. I feel as beneath the calm surface of their sensitive and capable boss. They may not fully unif I’m holding my breath.

“I think they just didn’t want to be derstand why Tom leaves the of ce once alone,” Tom says, and now he looks at me a month to distribute food personally to without regard for his tears. “We don’t do homebound clients.

But they will tell you that when Tom this alone.”

Because of you, I think to myself. They Bonderenko returns from those deliveries, he always has tears in his eyes. t weren’t alone because of you, Tom.

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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NEWS // LOCAL

New Year, Fresh Start for GLCCB

BY RODNEY BURGER The board of directors of the GLBT Community Center of Baltimore & Central Maryland (GLCCB) held their first general board meeting of 2016 on January 11th. Founded in 1977 the GLCCB has gone through many changes. Last year was a particularly challenging year for The Center. On October 13th, 2015 Jabari Lyles, GLCCB board president was named acting executive director, the fourth person to hold that position in 2015. Currently, with the help of a CPA firm, a detailed audit is being conducted to review past financial issues.

With a platform of “transparency and inclusion,” the January meeting began with the introduction of two new potential board members: Ken Jiretsu, a 2015 Baltimore Black Pride Icon Award winner who was outspoken at a recent GLCCB town hall meeting regarding the need for more representation of the trans community on the board; and Selina Scipio, an African-American businesswoman who had been turned away from joining the board in the past.

Both applicants were voted on and added to the board during closed session.

Elections were also held for the 2016 board officers. Guiding the Center into the New Year will be President Jabari Lyles, Vice President Thomas Idoux, Secretary Rich Wertman, and Treasurer Daniel Moore. Elected to the newly created position of parliamentarian was Rik Newton-Treadway. Updated and revised bilaws were also approved.

During this very productive meeting Mr. Lyles noted that 90 homeless persons were recently aided by the GLCCB’s Helping Hands Clothing Closet, another example of how the organization who many think produces Baltimore Pride and does nothing else, is helping the community.

As the GLCCB looks forward to 2016 many other projects are planned including: a register to vote campaign and a community forum with Baltimore mayoral candidates. Much thought is also being given to finding a new location for the GLCCB. Although the group has really cleaned up the 3 rd floor space at the city’s Waxter Center at 1000 Cathedral Street, the group faces time limitations on the use of the building and has not been allowed to place any signage, banner, or rainbow flag on the structure to make The Center more visible in the community. A building committee is looking at other sites and is considering an

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office building with parking located at 2530 North Charles Street, between 25 th & 26th Street. For now the group, which continues to strive to be visible and seen as an important part of the community, was excited to be approved for the first time to march as a unit in Baltimore’s Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Day parade.

The next GLCCB Board meeting is scheduled for Monday, February 8th at 6:30 p.m. The public is invited. Visit Glccb. org for more information on meetings and other community events. It is truly a new year at the GLCCB. t

ville, want to erect a monument to Divine to be placed on the corner of Tyson Street and Read Street in Baltimore’s Mt. Vernon neighborhood. Fans of the performer will recall that this was the location of Divine’s most iconic moment which comes at the end of the 1972 John Waters’ film Pink Flamingos and involves dog droppings.

Michal Makarovich, owner of the Hampden Junque store, appeared before Baltimore’s Public Art Commission to argue for the proposed monument, which would be eight feet tall, three feet wide, and not only include a large picture of Divine in all her drag glory, but will also feature marble steps complete with bronze dog doo. Others involved in the project include filmmaker Steve Yeager, artist Sebastian Martorana, sculptor David Hess, James Stevenson (who has set up a website about the proposal), Baltimore Design School teacher Michael Pugh, owner of performance venue Church & Company Alex Fox, and internet fundraiser Parisa Saranj. Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake is on board with the idea. The group is next scheduled to appear before the commission on February 17. To learn more or to get involved with the Divine monument visit Divinemonument.com. t

GLCCB Braves Cold to March in MLK Parade The GLCCB for the first time, had the King and Queen of Baltimore Pride be a part of the 16th annual Martin Luther King, Jr., Baltimore s GLCCB King & Queen of Pride Along with bronzed doggy doo!

Divine Intervention: Monument to Divine Planned

BY RODNEY BURGER Long before “The Wire” and “Homicide: Life on the Street” introduced the world to what is wrong with Baltimore, filmmaker John Waters put a spotlight on Baltimore’s quirky bohemian side. No one played a bigger part in the films of John Waters than actor, drag queen, and counterculture superstar Divine. A group of fans of the performer, who was born Harris Glenn Milstead and raised in Towson and Luther-

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credit: Kenneth Moore, Jr.

Day parade Monday, January 18th, which was produced by the Baltimore Office of Promotion and the Arts and Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake. Previous marches with GLCCB only had volunteers, members and not the royal court.

The parade took place on the intersections of MLK Boulevard and Eutaw Street, ending on MLK and Baltimore Street. Onlookers weathered the frigid temperature, while numerous groups such as; fraternities, marching bands and other social service organizations marched, drove cars or had floats during the event.

Jabari Lyles, board president of GLCCB, drove a truck containing board members and King and Queen of Pride, outreach coordinator Kevin “Tyga” Holt and Chasity Vain. Volunteers with GLCCB walked in front with a banner.

Lyles underscored the significance of the the Center being a presence in the parade. “It’s important to hold LGBT organizations accountable to say that we’re honoring folks of color. But it’s also important for those in the black community to pay attention to and uplift those in the community who identify as LGBT.” While Lyles steered the wheel on this new horizon, Vain and Holt respectively expressed what MLK means to them. “It is a day to represent a man who made a big difference, especially in the state of Maryland,” said Vain.

Holt added, “I believe it makes us realize that with everybody coming out here that Martin Luther King’s dream came true for everybody to be equally accepted, everybody to be safe and everybody to be loved.” t

BEYOND THE BELTWAY compiled by Jim Becker

Holocaust Remembrance Day includes LGBT victims Berlin, Germany – Adolph Hitler and his National Socialist German Workers Party (the Nazi Party), were the architects of the Holocaust that started in Germany and spread across the European continent and to the East into Russia during the 1920s, 30s and 40s. Among the demographics of those who were tortured, killed and experimented on were: Jews, 6 million; Soviet prisoners of war, 2-3 million; Ethnic Poles, 1.8-2 million; Serbs, 300,000-500,000; disabled, 270,000; Romani, 90,000-220,000; Freemasons, 80,000-200,000; Slovenes, 20,000-25,000; gays, 5,000-15,000; Jehovah’s Witnesses, 2,500-5,000; and Spanish Republicans, 7,000. Each was assigned identification patches, such as a yellow star for Jews. Gays were first required to wear yellow arm bands, but the protocol changed to the inverted pink triangle placed on a jacket’s left side, as well as on the left pant leg.

Being gay was a criminal offense in Germany. Gays were considered to not be wholesome and regarded as “defilers of German blood.” In fact, during the Nazi regime, gays were subjected to a host of horrific acts which included court-ordered castration, humiliation, torture, medical experimentation and murder. Those who were relegated to concentration camps were often singled out for sexual assault.

Additionally, lesbians were also targeted, but to a lesser extent since they could more easily be forced or persuaded to appear straight. The purge of Berlin’s LGBT community’s clubs was accompanied also by the disposal of books, gay organiza-

These news notes have been compiled, with permission, from the online version of various newspapers and other web sites. We thank these publications for allowing us to bring you their news stories. Usually the reports have been signi cantly edited and you can read the full story by going to the web site mentioned following the item. Comments are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker and not of Baltimore oUtloUd or Pride Media.

tions, as well as scholarly literature relative to being gay which were systematically burned.

While there is not an exact count for gays who perished in the camps, it is thought that it could have been around 60 percent. The Homocaust website reports that up to 100,000 gay men and women were persecuted and imprisoned for their sexuality under the German Penal Code.

Reports on how gays were treated in the camps were not openly revealed and acknowledgement was not even made until the 1980s when European countries began to do so. Finally, governmental representatives from Germany extended its apologies to the LGBT community in 2002. Subsequently, a resolution on the Holocaust was adopted by the European Parliament in 2005 and included gay persecution.

(Q-Notes Online – Lainey Millen at Qnotes. com)

‘International Megan’s Law’ passport reminiscent of Nazis Washington, D.C. – The “International Megan’s Law” recently passed the United States House of Representatives and Senate: Since the appalling Supreme Court decision in 2002 in “Smith v. Doe”[5] [6] in which the Justices held, in a six-to-three decision, that sex offender registration laws were perfectly constitutional because they do not represent retroactive ex post facto punishment in the criminal sense but civil regulation as a means of ensuring public safety, there has been a succession of laws blithely unencumbered by constitutional concerns for sex offenders which restrict where they can live, work, visit and even who they can associate with as well as dictate the frequency with which they must report the myriad details of their lives to law enforcement. Most of those constitutionally suspect laws have, until now, concerned themselves with regulating the lives of registered sex offenders within the borders of the United States.

“International Megan’s Law” represents a breathtaking leap beyond those constraints which burden sex offenders with domestic restrictions on where they can live, work or visit in the U.S., and expands

Texas couples: trouble with ICE

The U.S. State Department has so many colorful symbols to choose from...

them to the world, as a whole. Its primary purpose is twofold: first, to prevent all child sex offenders from leaving the United States and visiting other countries where they might commit an illegal sexual act and secondly, to provide U.S. authorities with similar notice from other countries when a child sex offender plans to visit the U.S/ It is important to note that the U.S. already bars all alien convicted sex offenders from entering the U.S. when it is able to identify them as such.

This bill, by alerting foreign nations to the intended visit to their country of an American sex offender, makes fully bilateral the reciprocal exchange of the criminal background of travelers.

David Post wrote in the Washington Post that the law “should send at least a small chill down all of our spines.... It is part and parcel of a dispiriting and disheartening... piling punitive disability upon punitive disability – not just public shaming, but also restrictions on residency locations, employment, Internet use, etc. – on this particularly despised class. Passports are not merely the necessary implements for international travel – they are a basic badge of citizenship.... There is something truly odious – “Scarlet Letter”-esque, one might say – about requiring people to bear, for their entire lives, this conspicuous badge of dishonor, whatever their prior crime (for which they have already been duly punished) may have been.... in many cases when they themselves were teenagers, just serves to make it seem even more wildly disproportionate; the notion that this entire class is somehow predisposed to engage in child sex trafficking is nonsensical, and squarely at odds with the actual recidivism data.” (Reform Sex Offender Laws at Nationalrsol.org & the Washington Post – David Post Washingtonpost.com/ news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2016/01/06/ the-yellow-star-the-scarlet-letter-and-international-megans-law)

Dallas, Texas – Jenny Nolan left an abusive family in Ireland last April and came to Texas on a visa waiver, a program that allows people from certain countries to visit the U.S. for three months without a formal document. Once she was here, Nolan met Lily Flores. The two fell in love, married, and immediately began the process of applying for a green card for Nolan, a document entitling the spouse of an American citizen to remain in the U.S. Because Flores is a student, Nolan’s form was rejected at one point because immigration of cials wanted proof that Nolan would have adequate nancial support.

A friend signed papers guaranteeing that additional support and Nolan was told to reapply – with no deadline given. But on January 7, Homeland Security special agents arrested Nolan. Because she came to the U.S. on a visa waiver, Nolan was told she has no right to go before an immigration judge, and would be deported within a week.

Moises Medina, an immigration attorney, represents Nolan. Medina told Nolan they’d have a few days before she’d be transferred from Dallas to an ICE facility, based on his prior experience in such cases. Instead, immigration of cers transferred Nolan that day. But instead of sending her to the Johnson County Detention Center just south of Fort Worth, where most people arrested in Dallas for immigration violations are sent, Nolan was transferred to Rolling Plains Detention Center in Haskell, where those who have committed crimes since arriving in the U.S. or who have a criminal record are sent. Medina led a stay the day after Nolan was picked up by ICE and he remains hopeful of her release.

Medina stressed that he has no evidence that ICE is intentionally discriminating against same-sex couples in immigration cases. Still, he noted, all the “unusual” cases, like Nolan’s, his of ce is working on all involve gay or lesbian couples. That includes Darryl Minor’s case.

Minor applied for a visa to bring his ancé to the U.S. from Peru. According to immigration law, in order to maintain the status of being engaged, a couple has to see each other once every two years. Medina said exceptions are granted for extreme hardship. Because homosexuality is viewed negatively in Peru, Minor could only see his ancé in Lima, the capital. Because of the way the application process has dragged on, it’s now been almost three years since the Minor and his ancé have seen each other.

Medina said they’ve started the process from scratch, something he doesn’t think would have happened had it been a straight couple. t (Dallas Voice –David Taffet at Dallasvoice.com)

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OUT IN THE VALLEY

The Frederick Center Heats Up February with Carnival 2016 The Frederick Center is hosting the second annual Carnival celebration Saturday February 6th, 2016 from 7 p.m. to midnight.

The masquerade / creative cocktail affair is being held at the Hampton Inn Frederick.

Themed for the period of time leading up to Lent, the fun evening of dancing also serves to raise funds for The Frederick Center, the county’s non-profit organization which supports the local LGBTQ community.

Now in its second year, Carnival 2016 will feature the sizzling beats of DJ Urban Cowboy, the well-known Washington area disc jockey. The event will again be styled in the South American tradition and feature performances by Brazilian dancers and drag entertainers. Additionally South American cuisine will be featured and an open bar featuring custom Brazilian libations.

Stylish attire is requested. Attendees are also encouraged to wear masks, costumes and other Mardi Gras accessories.

Carnival 2015

Peter Brehm, who is co-chairing the event with Kris Fair, both board members of The Frederick Center, said, “Because last year’s event all but sold out, we’ve moved it to a larger venue that can accommodate more people.” Both Brehm and Fair were surprised by the diverse range of attendees last year. “The event is open to everyone,” said Fair. “It’s a great evening of fun while also supporting the educational, health and social missions of The Frederick Center.”

The Frederick Center has seen an outpouring of support in the local community for this event since its inception in 2015.

Businesses including Baltimore OUTLoud, Frederick magazine, the Frederick News Post, Hampton Inn Frederick, and others have teamed up with local activists to provide this one-of-a-kind Frederick event.

“The event’s theme, style, and organization are truly unique to the community,”

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Health Chat

Debbie Anne

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up In the past couple of years, several people I know have had very bad falls that resulted in severe injuries. One fall happened to a life-long hiker/climber while walking across snow-covered grass, and resulted in a compound fracture that required surgery, hardware, physical therapy, and kept him out of work for over four months. It doesn’t take much. One false move and your life can take a serious turn with consequences that can last the rest of your life.

After I turned 60 last year, I took two falls in the snow over the winter. I was lucky enough not to get hurt but I knew I was taking foolish chances that a woman my age should not be taking. After the sec-

Fair said. “If you are looking for the one unforgettable party this year, it is going to be this one,” added Brehm.

Tickets are $65 each or $455 for a table of eight tickets. Additionally rooms are available at a special rate of $89 for the night for any attendees. Any questions should be sent to kfair@thefrederickcenter.org. t

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ond fall, I had a long talk with myself, “You can’t be doing stupid stuff anymore; you’re going to break a hip.” I’ve been trying to be more careful about what I do ever since.

Dangerous falls can happen to anyone regardless of age, and account for as much as 30 percent of wintertime workers’ compensation claims. I want you to be careful too, so here are some winter safety tips that I hope you will consider.

First, if you don’t have to go out in bad weather, don’t. It’s just not worth screwing up your health and your wellbeing for possibly the rest of your life. If you can, wait until weather conditions improve.

If you have to go out in bad weather start by wearing the right shoes or boots; rubber or neoprene soles, no leather or plastic soles (which are not good at all on ice and snow). Avoid carrying a load, especially one you can’t see over. Keep your arms free for balancing instead, and always use the handrails when going up or down stairs.

Many falls happen as people are stepping out of vehicles onto what they think is wet pavement but is actually black ice. If you’re getting out of your car in freezing weather, and the pavement looks wet, swivel around in your seat so that you can run your foot over the pavement while sitting to test if it is slippery. Carry a jug of salt in the front seat of your car on those mornings so that if you find the pavement is slippery, you can use some salt to create a safe place to step onto. Emptied liquid laundry detergent jugs make great containers for winter salt and are easy to shake and recap.

If you have to walk on ice, take tiny-baby steps, bend slightly at the knees and hips to place your center of gravity direct-

ly over your feet, and be prepared to fall safely. Safe-falling is when you fall so that you land without using your arms by rolling onto your thigh, then hip, then shoulder. It happens by twisting slightly and collapsing rather than trying to use your arms to stop your fall. You are much less likely to break a bone if you use safe-falling. Do everything you can to avoid falling forward and hitting your head: many serious falls result in head injuries, and these injuries can last for months, years, or a lifetime.

Finally, when you get inside, be sure to remove snow and water from your shoes

Dont t let this be you!

or boots. Wet footwear on tile floors is also another easy way to slip and fall. Be cautious of floors that are already wet or slushy; apply the same techniques as for walking on ice.

Wishing you all a safe and healthy 2016! t Debbie Anne is a public-health nurse with Frederick County Health Department in Frederick, Maryland. In 2014 she was awarded a Governor s Citation for her work with Marylanders living with HIV/AIDS.

OUT IN THE VALLEY

Parenting OUTloud

Rev. Kelly Crenshaw

Revising Expectations As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been parenting for a long time. Twenty years ago, I had no children. Now, I have kids ranging in age from two months to 33 years. It’s crazy to think how much my life has changed in that time. Then, it was all so new. Now, it’s become second nature.

My ideas about parenting have changed over the years, too. When I rst started building our family, I had daydreams about the day when the grown children would gather, with their signi cant others and children. We’d had lovely times where all was glitter and rainbows and unicorns. I envisioned that all of the problems of their teen years would dissolve and all would be right with the world.

Fast forward 20 years and I know that’s not the case.

When we took on the responsibility of adopting children who had been abused, neglected or drug-impacted, we had no clue about the surprises life would bring. We were told that love cures it all. I’m here to tell you that sometimes, many times, love isn’t enough.

I used to think that providing the structure, guidance and nurturing they lacked in their lives would get them motivated to get where they needed to be and do what they needed to do. I thought that providing them with opportunities would broaden their worldview in such a way that they would bloom and grow.

What I found was that not all of them responded positively.

I’ve learned to be the mom whose child has been to jail, whose child is drug-addicted. I’ve learned to be the grandmother who is probably not going to be involved in some of my grandchildren’s lives because their parents have challenging personalities or have moved far away to escape their own personal demons. I’ve learned to be the mom that is blamed for all that is wrong with the world, even when none of it is my fault.

And, I’ve learned to be the mom that is there when the world crashes and my kids need somewhere to land.

My vision of the perfect family will never be realized. My vision is impossible because my children are forever changed because of the

abuses they suffered, the drug they ingested while in utero and the lack of proper nutrition.

While some of my children have grown up to nd meaningful jobs and are in long-term relationships, others are not so fortunate. The baggage that they carry is forever, even when they don’t remember the abuse.

Abuse changes children. Research has shown that their brains function differently than people who’ve never been abused.

Babies who are born addicted to drugs and/ or alcohol grow up to be adults who are at risk for addiction simply because that’s what their bodies have known since conception.

These children learn and reason in different ways and it’s not usually logical. They don’t always behave politely in public. They don’t always understand when they’ve hurt someone’s feelings. They may be too rough on the playground or so shy they don’t interact at all.

But, these are my children. They are the children I’ve loved and nurtured. These are the children who still call me in a crisis, even if I can’t begin to help. These are the children I’ve fought for and would die for.

I learned to change the way I expected my children to be. I learned that they won’t all be college graduates or even high school graduates. I learned that some will have to learn lessons the hard way, every single time.

And, I learned that even when they are angry at the world, deep down inside, there is a little child who was abused or discarded. And sometimes, that little child is the one who controls everything.

So, the next time you see someone whose child is not performing up to your expectations, take a moment to think. Nobody is a perfect parent and there is no perfect child. Maybe that child has a medical or behavioral disorder that is dif cult to treat. Maybe that child was abused in his or her past. Maybe that child didn’t have a good breakfast or lunch. Maybe that adult didn’t have a nice childhood. And maybe, that child or adult is deserving of your compassion instead of your criticism.

And, most of all, remember that what we say and do to our children changes them. Harsh words change a child’s self-image. Harsh actions create someone who resents and fears.

As our children grow into teens and adults, they need to know that they have a soft place to land, somewhere that is safe and supportive.

The world is not perfect and neither are our kids. Provide them with encouragement and support so that they can learn to love and nurture, too. I’m telling you now that you are not a perfect parent. And, that’s perfectly ne as long as you love and support your kids as they evolve into perfectly imperfect adults. t Rev. Kelly Crenshaw is the mom of 16 adopted kids, two biological kids, and guardian of one baby girl and foster mom of dozens.

Feel free to send your parenting questions to her at pastor.kelly@comcast.net.

carnival

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OUT IN THE VALLEY

Beyond the Ice

Machine L:aura Anderson

A Lifetime of Secrets We all have secrets. Some are deeper and darker than others. Some of our secrets linger for a lifetime and we see our major goal in life as being able to maintain those secrets. It is a lonely task keeping deeply held secrets year after year.

My secret began in the second grade. I never understood why I wanted to line up in the girls’ line when going to lunch, or why I so wanted to dress the way I thought I should. I never understood those late night prayers to be changed and the feelings of despair when they went unanswered. But I did understand that these were secrets I could never share. Whatever it was that was wrong with me had to remain inside.

I carried those secrets into adolescence and beyond. On my fiftieth birthday I inwardly celebrated having kept my secrets for so long. I thought I might actually be able to die with them.

Those of us who are older and transgender know what a life of secrets can be. We know how consumed we become with keeping those secrets and the lengths to which we go in maintaining them. We understand the risks of losing those we love by revealing inner secrets that have stalked us for as long as we can remember. The emotional strain of keeping those secrets is overwhelming.

Yet, in keeping these secrets from those we love, we build barriers to parts of ourselves that are cruel and hurtful. A large part of my very being was inaccessible to my spouse of 34 years. I failed to be honest about what was going on inside.

I failed to share my true self with the one person who was my soulmate. As a result, our marriage was destroyed not so much by me being trans, but by the secrets I had gone to such lengths to keep.

The irony is that once I was honest with my family and friends, I found myself confronted by new secrets to keep. Upon taking a job in a distant city where no one knew me as other than “Laura,” I began the new task of keeping the secret of my former self. Transitioning leads to some tough choices; we either go stealth, which

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BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

requires a complex fabrication of personal history, or we are open with others about our gender past. After a decade of living my new life, I still find myself walking this tightrope of being careful about who knows and who does not. Some things seem to never change.

From a different perspective is a friend who, in her words, is “stuck in the middle.” She is living in two distinctly different spheres, one male and one female.

Although feeling her true gender to be female, she has lived a life as her male-self to which significant risks would occur if her female side were revealed. As a result, she finds herself constantly compelled to move back and forth, sometimes several times daily. Her secrets are deep and at this point in her life she feels they are impossible to be revealed. At the same time, she realizes how much more she could lose if her family were to discover her secrets from elsewhere. Her task in keeping those secrets is taking a significant toll on her emotional well-being.

So, at some point, each of us must examine the true reasons for maintaining our secrets. In a changing world, the need to keep our secrets may be diminishing. However, it seems that for those of us who are older and are transitioning later in life, the challenges of our secrets will continue. For those who come to terms with their gender-selves at a young age, and are supported in doing so, the need for keeping these kinds of secrets will hopefully become a thing of the past. t Laura Anderson is an educator, author, researcher, parent, and granddad. Her years teaching in public school classrooms as male provided the foundation for her more recent role educating future teachers. Living female for the past decade, she has come to appreciate the privileges she once held – both male and cisgender – privileges now replaced with the ful llment of living as her true self.

JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM

Should I Buy a Historic Home?

BY CHARLOTTE ASHTON Hello from the Hagerstown Tri-State area.

So having lived and worked in an area rich in history and loaded with historic homes for the past 30 years – 18 as a realtor – I have personally owned and sold a number of turnof-the-century and pre-turn-of-the-century homes. When using the term “historic” I am referring to properties built pre-1930, which there are a lot of in this area. You can’t beat the appearance of a well maintained classic older home with a wrap-around porch and bow windows on a tree-lined street in small town USA. This Tri-State area has several small towns offering fabulous older homes including Smithsburg, Boonsboro, Rohersville, Keedysville, Sharpsburg, Shepherdstown, Harpers Ferry, Williamsport, Funkstown, Clear Spring, Greencastle, Chambersburg, and Waynesboro – to name just some areas where you might nd a nice older home. I personally have owned four historic homes in the Hagerstown area. My wife and I recently built our rst new home together in Washington County the rst new home for me.

I often get a number of buyers interested in buying historic homes. Personally, I absolutely love the charm and character of an older home and the solidness of their construction and would not rule out purchasing another one in the future. My advice to buyers considering an older home however is to make sure you really know what you are buying. Make sure you do your research and get proper assistance. Many people do not consider the on-going maintenance and utility costs they will incur during the time of their ownership and wind up with more than they can handle nancially.

If you are considering a historic home and

wish to move forward with it, rst and foremost, I would recommend having a well-quali ed home inspector who has a lot of experience and knowledge about older homes complete a thorough home inspection. You want to be sure that structurally and mechanically the house is in good condition or at least has repairs that you know you can handle nancially. Often older homes have slate roofs, wood siding, older mechanicals, asbestos-covered pipes, older windows – all of which can cost a pretty penny to repair or replace should you need to. Please do your research rst, have it checked out by professionals. Depending on condition, you may also want to have a Dream home or asbestosladen nightmare?

licensed contractor go through and give you actual estimates if need be, prior to moving forth with the purchase. You must also know if it is located in a “Historic District” as that can govern the types of exterior repairs or improvements you will be able to do. I also suggest you do the research on lead paint issues as anything built pre-1978 will mostly likely have lead. You may want to consider inspections for hazardous substances including lead, radon, and mold. Lastly, be sure to nd out and verify if possible, what the true utility costs are. Oil heat and lack of proper insulation can result in exorbitant heat expense as I once found out with one home having two 275-gallon oil tanks in the basement. Ouch!

So is a historic home right for you? It is all a matter of preference and lifestyle and having the time, ability and or money to maintain one. They can be amazing showplaces. They will vary in condition and the amount of on-going maintenance they will require. So, if considering going Historic, do your homework; take your time and really know what you are getting into before jumping right in. There are a variety of homes out there to choose from old to new or somewhere in between, you just have to be patient and nd the right t for you. t Charlotte Aston is a RE/Max agent located in Hagerstown, Maryland. She has been offering full-time professional service since 1997 with an emphasis on customer service. You can contact her 301-991-2036 or at caston61@yahoo.com

OUT IN THE VALLEY Sounds like a pleasant future and some of us are already living in it but not enough of us. Only a small percent of consumers are aware that wireless charging exists and using it. There are a lot of reasons more people are not using wireless charging but mostly because there are too many standards, and Dr. Tekk no clear path to resolve them.

There are several different wireless charging standards out there. The fundamental differences between them will make interoperability dif cult to achieve. We don’t really want to have a counter full of charge pads for each one of our devices and have I was at my sister’s house for dinner the oth- to match a logo with a pad. There may be er evening and witnessed a chaotic chain hope for the future. Last year, two major wireof events that left me shaking my less charging powers, head. I am going to try and put this the Alliance for Wireless into perspective for you.

Power (A4WP) and PowIn this household there are two er Matter Alliance (PWA), adults both with smartphones, tabannounced that they lets, laptops, and Bluetooth devicwould join forces and are es. There are also four kids and all dedicated to building a of them have tablets and the older global wireless charging kids have smartphones as well. ecosystem. Sounds like This is just from who lives in the progress but each comhouse. My sister being the friendly awesome pany has backed different standards. Several chick that she is allows many of the neigh- new technologies are emerging as well but boring kids over as well and they bring with haven’t made it to the market yet. As conthem all of their wireless devices. You can sumers we don’t understand or care about see where this is going. different standards, we just want to know we I was at her kitchen table and saw a have wireless charging and it works. charge plug mess like you would not believe.

We all know about USB don’t we? As Every one of her kitchen outlets had USB consumers how can we move things along? charging cables with devices plugged into it.

Well usage and demand will play a The appliances were not plugged in huge part in the wireless charging just wireless devices. There were revolution. Manufacturers won’t smartphones and tablets produce the devices until consumgalore all over the place ers demand them. Consumers won’t and that wasn’t all of demand them until they The Powermat it. Next to the kitchen in Wireless Charging see how well it works in the living room I saw tabpublic places. Public placStation lets and smartphones lying on the oor next es won’t commit to them to outlets. She was looking for her Samsung until manufacturers settle fast charger but it wasn’t there because one on a standard. Is your head spinning yet? of the kids took it to charge a tablet and then Starbucks now has Duracell Powermats another kid used it and now it is somewhere at locations around the country. IKEA is now in the house and she needs it because she selling furniture with built in wireless charging. is at three percent and is stuck with the slow The new line of Samsung smartphones has charging from a standard charging unit. Im- wireless charging built in. Once we start uspatience was abundant because one kid ing it, companies will get the message that needed to play this game and another kid we are serious about having a wireless stanwas waiting to get some charge and I saw a dard we can all use. Just think almost all new repeated plug swap going on and I thought vehicles manufactured have Bluetooth callto myself “holy crap what is going on around ing standard on all models. We wanted it and here.” Does any of this sound familiar to any- demanded it and there it is. In the meantime, one? If anyone needed a wireless charging wireless charging has time to re ne itself. It’ll solution this house sure did. Sadly this house just take a few more years of confusion, and is going to have to wait a while longer but it yet another pointless standards war, to get won’t be forever. there. And to throw a wrench in it all, we now The concept of wireless charging sounds have USB-C making its debut. Oh yes anothnice, doesn’t it? No more ports. No more er topic. t cords. Just plop your wireless device down E-mail questions for Dr. Tekk to drtekk@ on a pad or table and let it get the juice. baltimoreoutloud.com.

Dr. Tekk

Wireless Charging

When is it going to get here and do we want it?

Spirit Speaks

Rev. Rob Apgar-Taylor

The Gift of Love I didn’t write anything for this last issue.

There was a lot going on in my life. In fall of 1988 I entered seminary and met a professor who would unbeknownst to me change my life in many ways. He was a wonderful professor; kind, intelligent and gracious.

I remember one day shortly after we met that he saw me on campus.

I shared with him that my aunt had died and I was trying to arrange transportation to get to the funeral, since I had carpooled to school that week and my car was three hours away. He without hesitation said, “I have two cars, why don’t you use one of those?” I was shocked. He barely knew me and I was nothing more than a first year seminarian like any of the 99 others in my

“In fall of 1988 I entered seminary and met a professor who would unbeknownst to me change my life in many ways. Even to this day, with wheelchairs and hospital beds, strokes and dementia, it is he who is the blessing.” class. I ended up able to get my own car, but his generous spirit was such a gift to me.

Through the four years of seminary we grew closer. I was his teaching assistant and we would spend hours grading togeth-

er, drinking gin and tonic and laughing. But it was apparent to us both that it was so much more. He had become my mentor, friend, and spiritual father. He was in every way my “other dad” and he loved me as his own son.

It’s been 28 years. We have travelled to Europe and to Williamsburg. He visited me at his alma mater, Princeton, during my own doctoral studies there. He was at my children’s weddings and he saw me cry through my own divorce, supported me through my coming out and celebrated at my wedding years later. But today things are different.

I didn’t write for the last issue because he has taken much of my attention as of late. He has dementia. We saw it start on a trip to Germany in 2010. Three weeks ago he suffered a stroke and it progressed to the point of needing residential care in a nursing home. So now, together with his daughters, I am helping to support him in any way I can. We spend hours together once again. I help get him out of bed and put in his teeth. I help him eat and shave and all the other daily tasks he can no longer manage on his own.

Some days he is clear as a bell and we share stories and laughs. Other days he may be elsewhere. But each day is a gift. Each shave, each meal, a chance to share the gift of love with a man who has spent his life sharing his love with so many others.

His daughter said to me recently that I have been a blessing to her dad. I appreciated that. But in reality it is he who has been the blessing. Even to this day, with wheelchairs and hospital beds, strokes and dementia, it is he who is the blessing.

How long do we have together before he won’t know me anymore? I have no idea.

Our relationship has changed. The “dad” has become the one who needs the care. But none of that matters. I will treasure every evening we have together for as long as we have them and thank God and whatever other forces of the universe that brought us together that day in seminary 28 years ago. t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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THINKING OUTLOUD

Pointing it Out

By Sage Piper

Kim Davis, and the Forces to Overcome “No one is free until we are all free” – Martin Luther King, Jr. I watched President Barak Obama give his last State of the Union speech last week with a wistfulness that comes when something you have valued and become accustomed to approaches its inevitable end. I smiled at Michelle’s burst of color, her vibrancy, her wide open face and beautiful lines, proudly on display in the balcony. She towered over those around her, most of whom I did not recognize – but I knew that, according to tradition, they were respected special guests, invited because they embodied some piece

of the president’s vision slated to be highlighted in the coming speech. I later read that among those seated with Michelle Obama were a Syrian refugee, the rst woman to graduate from the U.S. Army Reserve Ranger School, and also Jim Obergfell, the lead plaintiff behind last year’s historic Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling to extend same-sex marriage throughout the county.

Then the camera silently panned to Kim Davis, the born-again Christian clerk from Rowan County, Kentucky with the unholy quest to refuse to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in the aftermath of the Court’s ruling. At rst I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but there she was – hostile face, stone cold eyes – fully present and lurking in the back row. At rst I thought it was a mistake – how could she have been let in to this heralded national occasion? Later of course I learned that Davis had been given the golden ticket by one Jim Jordan, the House Freedom Caucus Chairman from Ohio, known for his unwavering ght against same-sex marriage, who expressed concern after the ruling that it “opens the door for discrimination against those who believe in traditional marriage…. Congress must work to ensure that no American is forced to violate their beliefs on this important issue.”

Meanwhile, as the president spoke his

pride was undeniable as he celebrated the idolized, began telling my father about the fact that on his watch we had “secured the state of “the neighborhood.” He looked at him freedom in every state to marry the person knowingly, with all of the young cousins right we love.” His voice was threaded with hope there, and told him that things were changas he described the courageous journey of ing, that la neige was coming in and coverthose who come out in a world which is so ing the streets, he gestured with his hands, often overcome by fear. During his speech that they were “taking over.” I was confused he optimistically heralded the future tri- and did not know what he was talking about, umph, after all, of the “voices Dr. King be- but I knew that whatever it was, it was something that was lieved would have the things for nal word – voices of “My Uncle Henry, whom changing the worse, something unarmed truth and I idolized, began telling he didn’t want. Later unconditional love,” asked my cousin and he saved a spemy father about the state Iwhat la neige meant, cial shout-out for the of the neighborhood. and she said, “snow, loved ones, noting the evolution which He told him that things in French.”

Her older brothoften requires the were changing, that la er was there, and he overcoming of “everything we’ve been neige was coming in and told me that Uncle Henry was talking taught” to embrace a covering the streets, he about black people, gay family member, friend, or fellow citigestured with his hands, that he was saying snow to be funny zen. that they were “taking because it was the I thought about opposite, and that he these words the over.’” meant black people next day as I read were moving into the that Davis attended the speech on behalf of all Christians who neighborhood and that wasn’t good.

I remember being shocked, and I reoppose the administration’s “trampling of religious liberty, and who want to stay and member that my father had just nodded make a difference.” I thought again, as I while my uncle was speaking, as did the have so many times: my God, what has this other adults in the room. I don’t remember if woman, and all those like her, been exposed my mother was present or not, but I do know to? What were the untold teachings, from that my father did nothing to refute what infancy on up, the messages, declarations, he was saying. My parents did not come innuendos, warnings, sarcasms, nods-and- in and have a talk with us later that night, winks which this woman imbibed in the air explaining what Uncle Henry meant, that it around her to result in the fully-formed big- was wrong and why it was wrong. But it was oted, and righteous adult sitting in that back the rst time I had any consciousness about row of the US Capitol that night? I tried to black people and white people being differimagine her as a six- or seven-year-old ent, very different, obviously in the eyes of child, listening to the adults, the older chil- my beloved uncle.

Why did I become an adult who redren, and her own peers, learning the way one thinks about people who are gay –learn- belled and fought against this kind of thinking and Kim Davis did not, and ing that this is how the world is.

And then I thought about my own child- what hopes can we harbor for the fuhood experience with racism and bigotry, ture? Next time, in Pointing It Out…. t the one that stands out in my mind so indelibly, because it was my rst. When I was a child my family traveled every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter to Brooklyn from our home in Virginia to be with both grandparents and our extended families. These trips were thrilling to me and my older brothers, children of suburbia in the early 70s – an immersion into the city and the boisterous, larger-than-life family characters who lifted us up in unabashedly smothering bear hug embraces, cooked all day and all night for us, roared with life and laughter, and thrilled and captivated us. On one trip we had just arrived from the long car trip and were getting settled in, and my Uncle Henry, whom I

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JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM

QUALITY OF LIFE

Ask

Dr. J

Janan Broadbent, Ph.D.

Passion and Bliss in a Relationship Recently I attended an event, TEDxBaltimore, where one of the talks started to quiz my inquiring mind. The presenter, Dr. Jeff Otto, to whom much credit is due, asked: Birds fly; fish swim: what is it that you just cannot, not do? Now with animals, of course, we realize the huge role instincts play. For human beings, biological factors, instincts and temperament also guide and in uence behavior. For example, we blink, breathe, take care of bodily functions, and the like. What about when we transfer this concept to a relationship? What is it that you do, or don’t do, that you just cannot stop?

Here is an example: In therapy, I see couples who say they love each other, but can’t stop bickering. Usually there is a theme: wanting one’s own way, having different standards for all kinds of activities (cleaning, when to eat, how to arrange for social functions – you name it) or just being in a crabby mood, crabby since we are in Baltimore. Although each person understands that these unpleasant times hurt the relationship, they seem to get hooked each time. This is where you have to stop and ask why you get hooked and why you just cannot let go of the issue.

When I ask the why question, many say they don’t know. We have formed habits, good or bad, and often don’t question their ef cacy or validity. A lot of these habits have formed as we grew up. Let alone people who grew up in different families, even identical twins in the same family have ways of behaving that differ. So we also attribute emotional tails to those behaviors as to what they mean. Yesterday I was about two steps behind a man going through a doorway. We came from different directions so he had seen me. He just let the door close in my face. Should I take that as an insult? Make some kind of sexist interpretation? Worse yet, make a snarky comment? If I were to take it as a personal insult,

we could even get into an argument. So my wiser self prevailed, and I let it go. Yet it was so easy to say: hey buddy, did you grow up with wolves?

With a signi cant other, it is important to look at how and why these snappy comments, or in the word du jour, “micro aggressions” occur. Are you annoyed with one another? If so, what is the cause? What gets in the way of you addressing this? On the other hand, there are people who withdraw, get quiet, and basically sulk, for an hour, a day or longer. This is passively isolating oneself, again, a way of dealing with con ict and putting a barrier to sharing bliss. More than likely, this is a coping mechanism learned as one grew up. It leaves the partner cut off.

If you probe your own mind, as to why you persist in doing nonproductive, if not destructive behaviors, you will nd that negative passion does not work. Consider what will bring bliss into your connection with that person. If you think you are always right, ask yourself: what does it mean to me to be wrong? Am I less of a person? Absolutely not. It just means you went down the wrong road. So make a U-turn and go another way. Mistakes produce unexpected ndings, enriching our lives.

Have joy in explorations of your own mind and your partner’s. t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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FAITH our destiny. The only hope we have in life are God’s promises. As Christians, no matter how hard life may seem or how chaotic your world is, if we simply press towards a better tomorrow and believe that God has created us with purpose, we can achieve anything.

Rev. Victoria Burson Last week, I saw an amazing clip on Facebook by Steve Harvey of “Family Feud.” He was sharing with the audience after a taping. It was so awesome. Steve Harvey explicated that “In order for you to live life and live it abundantly you are going to have to jump.” Harvey suggests that everyone was endowed with a gift from God at birth and if we can simply tap into that OMG, it’s 2016! What are you doing with gift, we can become what He called us to. your life? How are you fulfilling your desti- For the Word of God says that “Your gift ny? Are you living or simply existing? Are will make room for you.” Your gift leads you to your purpose in life. Your purpose you living life on purpose?

Some time ago, I made a promise to is directly connected to your passio – what myself that I would not make any more drives you, what angers you to the point New Year’s resolutions. Reason being, you want to affect change. Do I have your I don’t keep them and I realize all I was attention? I thought so. Listen, Steve Hardoing was setting myself up for perpetual vey says jump. I say take a leap of faith, failure. For me, it was better for my inner believe in yourself, pray that God will let self to actualize my current situation and you see yourself the way God sees you.

The Bible says “If began to benchmark you have faith the my steps towards liv“Too often we focus on size of a mustard ing my best life with achieving goals that are seed you can tell my best self. Too often we focus on attainable but we have a that mountain to move.” It only takes achieving goals that hard time getting there a little faith to move are attainable but we and press towards have a hard time getbecause our heart has the mark. The Bible ting there because not caught up with our also says “Without our heart has not caught up with our behaviors. We have great faith it is hard to God.” Faith behaviors. We have intentions, however wrong please jumpstarts and regreat intentions, ignites our passions however wrong momotives.” in life. Some of us tives. The Word of may have one while God reminds us that if we are going to truly achieve greatness others may have a few. Whatever the sitfor ourselves, we need to “Break with the uation, press forward. Some time ago, I stopped focusing on my circumstances and past and reach towards the mark.”

Listen to what the Bible says: “Not that turned more towards my promised future. I I have already obtained this or have al- began reclaiming my faith through Jesus ready reached the goal, but I press on to Christ. Rather than regurgitating resolumake it my own, because Christ Jesus has tions, I focus on key elements of life that made me his own.” Beloved, I do not con- will help pull me through it and to it. For sider that I have made it my own, but this we walk by faith and not by sight. Thereone thing I do: forgetting what lies behind fore, in 2016, I am living life abundantly by and straining forward to what lies ahead, being consistent and intentional. If I fall, I I press on toward the goal for the prize of will simply get up, if I make a mistake, I the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. In learn from it, and if giving the opportunity essence, we cannot move forward in life to maximize my hope, I will PUSH (Pray if we continue to focus on our past hurts Until Something Happens) and press forand pains/pangs or what didn’t happen, ward towards the mark.

Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is the subwhat friend or family member disappointed us, mishaps, failures, or anything you had stance of things hoped for and the evino control over in the first place. The only dence of things not seen.” In order to rething we can control in life is ourselves and claim your faith, trust God. t

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BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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LIVELY ARTS // OUT ON SCREEN

The Revenant: Survival and Revenge Glass refuses to die, leading Fitzgerald to you will find it hard to turn away.

BY CHUCK DUNCAN After Glass is recovered enough to get At a time in TV and movie entertainment offer assistance if Glass would simply blink when the landscape is ripe with zombies, his approval. Quite a sneaky way to finish moving, the film does drag a bit as we folthere has been a subgenre of storytell- someone off, and Glass finally can’t not low his trek, with some even more unbeing involving folks who have been dead blink after a few minutes. That’s all Fitz- lievable adventures that should have killed for days or years who suddenly return to gerald needs to try to suffocate him, but him, the attempt of the fur trappers to find their daily lives, sans the whole flesh eat- Hawk intervenes and gets murdered in their way home without him (they do, but ing hunger. The French television show the process, as his father watches. Bridg- after seemingly being lost, they’re sudden“Les Revenants” debuted in 2012 and gar- er is off getting water, comes back, and is ly at the fort later with no real explanation), nered a cult following on U.S. television. told Glass is dead, Hawk is missing and and a tribe of Indians looking for the chief’s That show begat ABC’s short-lived “Res- there are 20 (or a dozen, who’s counting?) daughter, who had been kidnapped by a Indians heading group of white men. And Glass’ dreamy urrection” (although their way. Bridg- hallucinations. Some of this traveling could the producers claimed “Glass stumbling upon er doesn’t want to have been trimmed a bit to bring the film there was no consome grizzly cubs leave, but he does, closer to two hours, it runs over two-and-anection to the French not knowing that half now, but in the end it doesn’t diminish version, except for frolicking in the forest is just the entire premise) unaware that mama bear Glass a few feet Somtimes and A&E’s even shortunbearaway barely er-lived authorized is right behind him.” able... covered in U.S. adaptation “The a shallow Returned.”

Now the big screen is getting in on the grave, with a seething rage that will act with the latest from Birdman director propel him from the grave and on a Alejandro G. Iñárritu. The Revenant tells mission to exact his revenge.

The Revenant is a difficult film the “true” story of Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio), one of a group of fur trappers to put into words since so much of it in 1800s South Dakota. On an expedition, is visual and visceral. Iñárritu’s cinthe group is attacked by Indians, with the ematographer Emmanuel Lubezki few survivors looking for a way to get back captures the vast beauty of the Dato their fort. Along the way, Hugh has an kotas, actually Alberta, British Counfortunate encounter with a grizzly bear lumbia, which will leave you breaththat leaves him gravely wounded, making less. But against all the pristine it nearly impossible to transport him back beauty of the snow-covered mounto safety. The group’s leader, Captain An- tains, Iñárritu and Lubezki capture drew Henry (Domhnall Gleeson), offers a the harsh brutality of the situation as well. And let’s just get right to the film’s most talked-about scene, the bear attack.

Yes, some idiots online have tried to make the attack into something it isn’t, so we’ll just pay them no mind. The scene focuses on Glass stumbling upon some grizzly cubs frolicking in the forest unaware that the achievements of everyone involved.

Besides all of the monumental techmama bear is right behind him. Before he can shoot, she is on him biting and maul- nical achievements, from shooting in the ing him in one of the most horrific, realistic snowy wilderness to creating the seamless bear attack scenes ever committed to film effects and many “single take” shots, credit monetary bonus to any man who will stay (with the help of an expert on such things). has to be given to DiCaprio for really putwith Glass until he finally expires to give Even knowing how it was done, I still felt ting himself through the wringer. The bear myself on the verge of bursting into tears attack scene is bad enough, but he goes him the proper burial.

Young Bridger (Will Poulter) and Glass’ because it was just that horrifying to watch; through more and for most of the film he son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) offer to stay, filmed as it was in a “single take” (actually doesn’t even speak since his throat was but the cantankerous John Fitzgerald (Tom many takes expertly stitched together by badly slashed by the bear. And the dialog Hardy) knows the two would not be able Iñárritu, Editor Stephen Mirrione, and the he does have is some English, some Pawto defend themselves should there be an- SPFX team). This is the pinnacle of the nee. He really gives it his all and you never other attack. He also sees dollar signs to brutality of a film that has already staged a really stop to think that you’re just watchhelp replace the pelts he lost in the ear- bloody Indian attack, and there is more to ing Leo DiCaprio.

As good as he is though; Tom Hardy lier attack, so he agrees to stay thinking come. It’s not an easy film to watch, but at Glass will be gone within a day or two. But the same time it will grip you so much that is just as good if not better. Hardy ditches

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his Brit accent for something a little more American (we’ll assume Texan since that’s where Fitzgerald wants to go) and intelligible, buried under a mess of a beard and some scraggly hair, complete with half of his scalp missing courtesy of a much earlier encounter with “savages.” Hardy makes Fitzgerald an unapologetic villain, and even when he offers to stay with Glass, you know that no good will come of it. From one bad decision to another, all to serve his own purposes, you may find yourself rooting for Glass to do horrible things to him, no matter how much of a Tom Hardy fan you may be. With his terrific performance in last summer’s Mad Max: Fury

Road to his awards-hopeful turn as gangster twins in the not-very-good Legend, this role will be the one to actually get Hardy some awards notice, and he’s now been nominated as Best Supporting Actor by the Critics’ Choice Awards and the Academy Awards.

The Revenant is gripping and difficult to watch, a little over-long, but still a movie to be seen on the big screen. The movie is based on a novel by Michael Punke which is based on the true story of Hugh Glass – although even the “true” account of his story, which you can find online, seems highly embellished. Either way, the movie is an expert piece of storytelling that will keep your eyes glued to the screen. t

LIVELY ARTS // OUT ON STAGE CUSTODIAN OF A DREAM: FUZZ ROARK – continued from page 1 terrupting the actors during a performance, but she insisted. One of the actors said to me, ‘Honey, you’ll get used to it. She’s like that all the time.” Roark was hooked. Serving as musical director, shop hand, actor, and many other theatrical roles, Fuzz took over the help of Spotlighters in 2005 when the organization became a non-profit entity and was renamed in its founder’s honor.

Today, Spotlighters is a robust theatre producing nine shows and running a strong educational program for children from kindergarten to twelfth grade. The organization’s growth has demanded a need for more space, which, Roark and his board of directors have been searching for the past five years. Albert Aaron, the owner of Spotlighters’ St. Paul Street location, died in 2013. Aaron and Audrey Herman had negotiated a lease that was beneficial to the theatre and fit in nicely with its non-profit status. “Albert Aaron told me that he never met a woman who could fight like Audrey and then toss back a drink,” Roark said.

Since his death, the building has been sold and while the owners are honoring the cur-

rent lease, they will renegotiate it when it expires in a few years. This news moved Roark and his board into motion. With the help of Everyman Theatre’s Artistic Director Vincent Lancisi, Fuzz was directed to the Read’s drugstore location.

The other theatres in that area (like the old Mayfair Theatre) are much too large for Spotlighters’ needs. “Our audience expects us to continue to produce theatre in the round,” said Roark – a nod to its unique seating configuration, which will continue in the new space. There are many details to be worked out but Fuzz is excited about this new chapter in the history of the theatre. “Memory lives in this space,” referring to the theatre’s current St. Paul Street location. Fuzz Roark will continue to be the custodian of Audrey Herman’s dream of an “open” space where all can participate which is indeed the foundation of all good community theatre. t Ryan Clark is an assistant professor and program coordinator of Theatre and Media Performance at Stevenson University.

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LIVELY ARTS // OUT ON STAGE

21st Century Divas Sounds Like This

BY GREGG SHAPIRO It’s a simple fact – the gays love Adele.

The drama and glamour dynamics alone are through the roof. When you factor in that voice and her performance style, she’s the diva we’ve been waiting for (sorry, Gaga). She proved she was worth the wait following the seemingly interminable time between 2011’s award-winning and inescapable 21, and her new album 25 (XL / Columbia). Essentially crushing everything in its way, Adele’s latest release broke all sorts of sales records, recon rming the now 27-year-old’s status as a pop goddess.

Let’s hope she survives this cursed age (see Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix, among others).

What better way for Adele to greet her fans than with the spectacular disc opener “Hello.” It’s a song that combines all of Adele’s strength and it’s easy to understand why it was so well-received. The same can be said for the achingly beautiful “When We Were Young,” “Remedy,” and “All I Ask.” Of course, it’s not all heartbreaking ballads.

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Subtle rhythms elevate songs such as the album’s buoyant centerpiece “Water Under the Bridge,” as well as “Send My Love (to

“Essentially crushing everything in its way, Adele’s latest release broke all sorts of sales records, reconfirming the now 27-year-old’s status as a pop goddess. Let’s hope she survives this cursed age (see Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain....)”

Your New Lover)” and “I Miss You,” all of which could be remixed for club play. Additionally, Adele’s concern with age – each of her three studio albums’ titles are linked in

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that way – is a predominant theme throughout.

Ellie Goulding, like Adele, is a British singer/songwriter in her late 20s. That’s where the similarities end. Beginning with her rst album, Goulding has aligned herself with the electronic dance music scene where synthetic beats are the backdrop for her distinctive vocals. Delirium (Cherrytree / Interscope) is the right name for Goulding’s third full-length, beginning with the swooning instrumental intro and continuing with clubby tunes including “Aftertaste,” “Something In the Way You Move,” “Keep On Dancin’” (which sounds like a kissing cousin of Adam Lambert’s “Ghost Town,” complete with whistle), “Around You,” the gospel-stomp of “Holding On for Life” and “Lost and Found.” For the record, songwriters who worked with Adele on 25, including Kurstin, Tedder and Martin, also co-wrote songs with Goulding for Delirium.

The gays who love Adele (and Goulding, for that matter) have just as much reason to love erce freak folk femme Joanna Newsom. She’s a distant cousin of LGBT-community supporting California politician Gavin Newsom. She’s married to comedian/actor/musician Andy Samberg (admit it, you think he’s hot!) whose Brooklyn Nine-Nine sitcom features a prominent gay character. Queer musician Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy) has covered Newsom and, on her exceptional new album Divers (Drag City), gay composer Nico Muhly did the exquisite orchestral arrangement for opening track “Anecdotes.” Plus, Newsom plays the harp! Seriously, no one else sounds like Newsom. In these days of cookie-cutter musical acts, that should be considered a recommendation. Harpsichords, celestas, clavichords, and even Minimoogs and Mellotrons play a part in Newsom’s plush and delirious musical landscape. The 11 songs on Divers take listeners below the surface of Newsom’s idiosyncratic universe, a location you will want to return to repeatedly, thanks to stand out selections such as the accessible “Goose Eggs,” as well as “Waltz of the 101st Lightborne,” “Sapokanikan,” “You Will Not Take My Heart Alive,” and “The Things I Say.” Linda Perry + Sara Gilbert’s Deer Sounds (Custard / BDG /Red), a musical collaboration by lesbian music producer and songwriter Perry and her wife, actress and talk show co-host Gilbert, is a delight for listeners of all ages. Perry gets writing credit on all songs, some of which are cowrites with Gilbert. Inspired by the birth of

Rhodes, the couple’s rst child together, there are, ttingly enough lullabies, some more soothing (“He + She”) than others (“Butter ies”). The most fun can be found in sing-along songs such as “Dreambot,” “Wake Up Wake Up Wake Up,” “Friends,” “As I G Up,” and the sophisticated “Body Parts / Rhodes’ Piano Concerto 9.” The dance track “Starship” could even qualify as a potential club hit.

Combining “feminist punk ethos” with an “art rock sound,” Blue Gold (Cosmic Thug), the debut album by Pony Boy (a.k.a. Marchelle Bradanini) is as torchy as Adele

it is twangy. A refreshing take on the cowpunk sound, a little bit Neko and a little bit Lucinda, Pony Boy saddles up for the blues on “Marquee Man” and “Duke Ellington’s Blues,” gets in touch with her Bakers eld side on “Magnolia,” puts her pedal to the “medal” on “Christopher” (get it?), serves up a hit of psych country on “Pink Elephant,” and adds her two cents to the classic country duet with Justin Collins on “Too Tired Tonight.”

Ashley Monroe is de nitely more of a traditional modern country artist. On The Blade (WB), Monroe is closer in spirit to the genius and originality of Kacey Musgraves than the auto-pilot safety of Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood. Opening cut “On to Something Good” establishes the mood. “I Buried Your Love Alive” is as emotionally raw as the title suggests. Monroe tempers the heavy scenes of “Bombshell,” “From Time to Time,” “Has Anybody Ever Told You” and “I’m Good at Leaving,” with ashes of hope on “Weight of the Load,” “Winning Streak,” and “Dixie.” t

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JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM

OUT ON CAMPUS

Watchful Eye on Workplace Discrimination

BY DR. LORENDA A. NAYLOR From a legal standpoint the past year was triumphant for the LGBT community. In June, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed in Obergefell v. Hodges that marriage is a fundamental right for same-sex couples. This victory means all 50 states must recognize same-sex marriages granted in other states. Previously, not all states recognized same-sex marriage, which made it exceedingly difficult for samesex couples to relocate and to be treated

“Historically in the U.S., once legal rights are secured for a minority group discriminatory practices shift from objective, formal, visible, and measurable to subjective, informal, invisible, and unmeasurable.” with dignity and respect. The good news is that same-sex marriage is now a constitutional right regardless of where one lives in the U.S. In terms of future public policy our focus must shift to securing employment rights for the LGBT community.

As it stands now one can be fired based on sexual orientation, depending on the state, and gender identity. The ruling in Obergefell provided gays and lesbians with a constitutional right to marriage, but it also made them susceptible to workplace discrimination. Marriage licenses, which are public record, allows employers [and citizens] access to marriage documents.

If an employer learns that an individual is gay or lesbian they can potentially fire you.

Since 1974 Congress has attempted to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) with no success. If we are to protect same-sex marriage with the same rights that heterosexuals are entitled to then we must as a country pass ENDA. President Obama has provided a path by issuing executive orders to protect LGBT employment in the federal government and among federal contractors, but the majority of citizens are employed in the private and non-profit sectors, which makes them

vulnerable to discrimination, harassment, and termination.

The bad news is that securing rights for gays and lesbians will shift discriminatory practices from overt to covert mechanisms. This does not mean judicial and legislative policies protecting LGBT rights shouldn’t be pursued, but it does mean we must be more proactive. If the legal victory in Obergefell is similar to rights secured for other minority groups – such as African-Americans, Hispanics, and women – then it will be prudent to keep a watchful eye on covert discrimination.

Covert practices include subjective, formal, or informal policies that may appear “neutral” on the surface but in fact have negative impacts or outcomes for a minority group. Historically in the U.S., once legal rights are secured for a minority group discriminatory practices shift from objective, formal, visible, and measurable to subjective, informal, invisible, and unmeasurable.

This is significant because if the policies and practices are hidden, then it becomes difficult to prove discrimination because there is either no evidence or it is subjective at best.

For example, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination based on color and sex, yet 50 years later African-Americans and women continue to earn less pay than their white male peers, even when controlling for education and experience. As such, the legislative policy made it illegal to discriminate against hiring women and minorities but it did not require equitable pay.

Similarly, if EDNA is passed in Congress one can expect gays and lesbians to be hired, but at lower salaries, unless equitable pay is required. If we are to learn from history, then we must fight for non-discrimination in hiring as well as in pay. t Dr. Lorenda A. Naylor is an associate professor at the University of Baltimore, College of Public Affairs, School of Public and International Affairs. She earned her PhD from American University, a Master in Public Administration from Kansas State University, and a Master in Public Health from the University of Kansas. She is a social equity researcher who focuses on vulnerable populations and access to government services. Dr. Naylor serves as the LGBT Chair for the American Society for Public Administration and serves on numerous editorial boards.

A Dream of a Lifetime into registration on the first day, meeting

BY ASIA T. O HARA For those of you who do not know, Miss the contestants, and seeing the judges for Gay America is the pinnacle of pageantry the first time. A thousand things begin to in female impersonation. Spanning almost go through your mind. Is the choreografive decades and crowning entertainers phy sharp enough? Does my gown sparkle from every corner of the country, it has enough? Have I prepared for the interview proven to be one of the most prestigious enough? As an adult, there are very few LGBT organizations in America. We call it things in life that can evoke excitement, fear, happiness, and eagerness like comexcellence! peting in a pageant can. Over four Being Miss Gay America is the days, 53 qualified contestants opportunity of a lifetime, but it compete in evening gown, isn’t until you become Miss talent, solo talent, and interGay America that your realview. After the scores have ize it is something you’ve been tabulated, 53 gets been preparing for for narrowed down to a top a lifetime. I grew up in ten who go on to evening suburban Dallas, Texas. gown and talent again I was one of eight chilon final night. The top dren, all of whom had a ten is again narrowed piece of show business. to a final five that will I have siblings who are move on to question and Dallas Cowboys cheeranswer. With each elimileaders, acrobats, colnation you can’t help but lege dance teachers, and think it’s possibly the end burlesque dancers. It’s of the road for you. But for safe to say, being on stage one lucky person, it is just the is something that was in my beginning. Hearing my name blood. When I was 15, I went on called as the 45th Miss Gay Amertour with a professional drum and ica was one of the most amazing bugle corps and continued that Asia T. O Hara things I have ever felt and a feeling through high school and on into – Miss Gay I will never forget. college. Once that chapter end- America 2016 People often ask me how imed, I found my way into female portant I think pageantry is to feimpersonation. My interest in it at first was mild until I witnessed my first male impersonation. I look at female impageant in 2002. It was a dusty videotape personation like a large luxury liner floating in my friend’s den labeled “MGA ‘91.” It so in the ocean. If you have ever been on a happened to be Miss Gay America 1991, luxury liner, you know that it takes a lot of small boats to supply it with an endless the crowning of Valerie Lohr in Dallas.

I had never seen female impersonation supply of champagne, caviar, and beaution such a professional level, nor did I even ful women. If these boats ceased to supply imagine there was such a level. I watched it with these things on a regular basis, it contestant after contestant float across wouldn’t really be considered “luxury” anythe stage dripping in beads and crystals more. The same goes for female imperby Bob Mackie and Stephen Yearick, only sonation. Each day smaller boats supply to turn the corner moments later in lavish it with pageantry, reality shows, night club dance productions of Paula Abdul, Janet performances, and all other facets and avJackson, and Diana Ross. I was in awe. enues of the art form. All of these things And with that, the competitor in me was are important to female impersonation and born. It would take me four attempts, span- it has all helped shape this wonderful thing ning 12 years, to get to the nationals of we call “drag” into what it is today.

I am forever grateful for the 44 enterMiss Gay America, which included several trips as a designer and a dresser for oth- tainers before me that have held the title er contestants. But in October, 2015, after of Miss Gay America. They have gone on capturing the title of Miss Gay Texas Amer- to become television stars, teachers, parica, I packed up the gowns, the props, ents, business owners, and everything and the backup dancers and headed to else under the sun. I am honored to be Memphis, Tennessee, for the main event. a part of this legacy and I look forward to No matter how many times you watch the seeing what the rest of my reign has in DVDs or you sit in the audience, nothing store for me. t The author is Miss Gay America 2016. can prepare you for the feeling of walking BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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QUALITY OF LIFE

Violet’s Vet

Dr. Tony Calo

Dangers of a Flexi-Leash One issue that constantly arises at the animal hospital I work at is the use of the exileash. The seemingly innocuous exi-leash is a major problem that is seldom discussed.

Because it is not often discussed, Violet and I thought that we should bring this issue to light in order to help dog owners better understand the dangers. To start the discussion, it’s important to realize that this is not a leash at all.

A leash, by de nition, is a strap used to walk and restrain a dog. Rather, a exi-leash is a long thin cord wound around a spring-loaded device that is housed in a plastic handle. It allows a long distance for a dog to walk ahead or behind his human. Most people who have a exi-leash for the pet like the allure of walking their dog with more freedom to move and

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roam and explore. They like the idea that the exi-leash is less con ning and more adventurous. They do not however consider that multiple downsides.

So what are the dangers to the dog, their human, and the humans nearby? First, there are considerable problems that can arise for your pet. It is important to remember that we, as pet owners, are responsible for our pet’s safety. When walking with a exi leash, there is very little control of the dog. The length of the cord, ranging between 20 and 26 feet, allows the dog to get very far out of range of the human. This means that a dog can venture into the street and be at risk for being hit by a car.

It also means that a dog that is Walking all three dogs with short and manageable leashes prone to chasing a squirrel can your dog is approached by an unfriendly or be subject to running into a dangerous situation such as off a cliff or over a aggressive dog, the human is too far away to fence. In this scenario, there is signi cant risk intervene before the situation becomes a fulledged dog ght. Another consideration is of neck or back injury and in the worst case can lead to strangulation of the dog. Addi- the heavy and bulky handle of the exi-leash. tionally, the dog can be entangled in the cord If dropped, the handle will make a loud and leading to skin and leg injuries including: cuts, scary noise that can frighten the dog, causing burns, bruises, and broken bones. Finally, if the dog to run. For a more skittish dog, this can lead to a panic as the scary thing that made the noise is now chasing them down the street. This can lead to risk of being lost or being hit by a car. In order to best control your dog for his or her safety, a leash must be wide enough to t comfortably in your hand, short enough – generally between four and six feet – to keep your dog in control, and there should be no scary or frightening handles.

What are the dangers to you as the human walking the dog? The thin cord of the leash is not always as sturdy as expected. If the cord is suf ciently stressed by a strong dog pulling, pressure or running against a fence or sign post, the cord can break causing it to snap back into the human’s hand causing painful skin injury and bruising. A similar situ-

JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM

ation can occur if the collar breaks or slips off the dog’s neck. The leash can quickly retract, causing the collar to act as a projectile that boomerangs back to the person – leading potentially to hand, face, or eye injury. The cord itself can be dangerous in other ways.

An excited dog, running in circles can cause the human to become entangled. The cord, being thin and relatively strong, can lead to signi cant cuts, skin burns, and other types of compressive lesions. Being entangled in a cord can also lead the person to fall, which can lead to bruises and broken bones. For your own safety, a leash should be of manageable length with no risk of projection or entanglement.

Finally, the exi-leash is a nuisance to the people around you and your dog. Not everyone loves your dog. Some people are very scared of dogs, even happy friendly ones.

Pulling down the long length of exi-leash can give the appearance of the dog being aggressive, even if he or she just wants to say hello.

Having uninvited contact with your dog can lead to a scared person, a scared dog, and a possible dog bite. This puts you at risk of legal action or even con scation of your dog. This is a risk no one should be willing to take. Just as dangerous, just like the cord could become entangled around you, it can just as easily become entangled around someone else, such as child or simply someone passing you by on the street. The lists of potential injuries, just like the ones that can occur to you, include cuts, burns, bruises, and falling down.

The standard leash length is between four and eight feet, with six feet being average. This length ts nicely with the understood purpose of a leash – which is to keep your dog safe and under control and to protect you and others around you. A six-foot leash allows for plenty of room for freedom of movement and short enough to allow the human complete control. When walking you dog, an appropriate leash is you and your dog’s best friend! t Please e-mail your stories and questions to violetsvet@baltimoreoutloud.com.

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM t

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YOUR MONEY

What the Fed’s Interest Rate Hike Means for You

BY WOODY DERRICKS In December, the Federal Reserve (“The Fed”) raised interest rates for the rst time in nearly a decade. While most have heard the news, not many know what the increase in rates means for their nancial picture.

When the Fed raises or lowers rates, what they’re adjusting is the rate that banks pay on loans either to each other or on money that the banks borrow directly from the Fed. The idea is that if banks pay more for loans then they will charge more for loans that consumers such as you and I use for buying cars, homes, and for using our credit cards. Raising rates is done in an effort to limit in ation by reducing our spending.

There are a few areas where you might be directly or indirectly impacted by an increase in interest rates. I suggest reviewing your mortgage, home equity line of credit, credit cards, auto loans, and bank accounts.

Mortgages: Mortgages are often longer-term loans that are less impacted directly by the Fed’s actions; however, they are indirectly im-

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pacted by concerns of rates rising more in the future. If you’re on a variable loan and haven’t re nanced, this may be a good time to consider it. Also, if you’re looking to purchase a home, you’ll be able to afford to pay more for a house while rates are lower, as will a buyer for your home.

Home equity lines of credit: These are variable loans that typically have a period once during the year when your r a t e can

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be lowered or raised. With a rise in interest rates, you could see the rate charged on your home equity line increase. A problematic scenario could occur if rates rise multiple times during the year. This may be the time to see if you can lock in your interest rate through a re nance or, if you can afford to pay it off, do so before a signi cant jump in rates.

Credit cards: Despite credit cards already charging a hefty rate for their use, you may see the rate charged on any outstanding balance increase as rates rise. You’ll want to monitor this closely if you carry a balance to make sure that you’re making the appropriate minimum payments, or hopefully more than the minimum, to avoid any additional fees or rate increases.

Auto loans: Auto makers were willing to take a loss on lending in order to sell cars, but with rates increasing, the 0% for 60 months offers may soon come to an end. If you’re considering a car purchase in the next year or so, you may want to act sooner than later to lock in lower monthly payments.

Bank accounts: I’ve heard quite a few people over the year bemoaning the lack of interest that they’ve been receiving in their bank accounts. My response has been to say that at least people are paying less in interest on their home, car, or other large purchases.

Unfortunately, those with money at their bank might be even more upset as rates start to rise.

While interest rates paid by banks often go up with interest rates charged, this time may be a bit of an exception. Don’t be surprised if rates in your accessible accounts, checking, savings, and money markets lag the increases of loans for several rate increases. When rates were higher, some nancial institutions offered minimum xed payments on some of their products of 3 or 4% and they’ve been taking a loss on those for awhile. They’ll want to wait for rates to increase enough to help

minimize their losses before they start offering more in other places.

A lag will also come from banks wanting to see an appropriate gap between the interest they charge and the interest they pay.

For example, if a bank wants to have a 5% gap between mortgage interest and interest paid on savings accounts, it could be three more rate increases before banks do much to increase the rates on savings and money market accounts.

You’ll likely see an increase in CD rates rst because you’re willing to lend that money to the bank for a period of time, but you may not want to rush out and put all of your money in CDs. The concern for CD holders is that they’ll miss bene ting from the possibility of rates increasing several times during the course of a year.

One strategy could be to ladder your CDs by purchasing a new CD every three or four months. Laddering could help you participate in rate increases throughout the year while providing you with a maturing CD every few months the following year.

I believe the beginning of the year is a great time to review your nancial picture.

Take some time to sit down with your nancial advisor to see how rates might impact your current nances and your long-term goals.

The opinions voiced in this material are for informational purposes only and are not intended to provide speci c advice to any individual. Consult your legal, tax, and or nancial advisor to determine what is appropriate for your situation. t Woody started his career in 1998 and has been independent since 2005. “I have seen some of the best and worst markets in our history which allows me to approach my clients with the knowledge of how the markets t into their nancial picture,” he says. Woody is a certi ed nancial planner. Learn more by visiting partnershipwm.com.

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ful that the men of leather clubs wish they had Todd Leavitt, Mr. COMMAND MC inthe problem of turning peoMid-Atlantic Leather vited me to their ple away, but MAL is just 2016 “eye-openers” cockthat good. What can I say credit: Richard Wertman tail party Saturday about having more cocktail morning because Satparties, dances, and other urday brought a very functions going on at the Rodney Burger same time that one cannot full day of events.

There was the puppossibly get to them all? py mosh. There were On Friday night I enbondage, flogging, joyed the Onyx cocktail and spanking demonparty in their hotel suite; the strations provided by Bears, Bikers, and Mayhem Sigma. There was Todd Leavitt of Arlington, Virginia, was cocktail hour; and had a the reception for the sashed Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2016 blast at the Impact Dance in official announceduring what had to have been one of the the hotel’s ballroom put on ment of the judges largest and most successful Mid-Atlantic by the Highwaymen TNT. for May’s InternationLeather weekends that the Centaur MC There was also a “Gear al Mr. Leather 2016 has ever produced. Selected as first run- Party” and a meet & greet Contest, which was ner-up was Mr. Connecticut Leather 2016 with International Mr. Rubheld in a top floor Tom Matt and Mr. Pittsburgh Leather Fe- ber. ballroom with a view tish 2016 Keith Greene was awarded secOne of the big attracof the Capitol dome. ond runner-up as well as the Brotherhood tions at MAL is the big leathOver twenty-five 2016 Award. Also competing to be the 31st Mr. er vendor mart that is open leather titleholders Mid-Atlantic Leather titleholder were Mr. at the host hotel all weekwho will be competing Eagle NYC 2013 Arsenio Amadis; Mr. May- end. You may think that if hem Leather 2015 Kevin Michael O’Con- you’ve seen one pair of black leather pants for IML in Chicago were also present and nell; Jonathan Kitchen from Wilmington, you’ve seen them all. Each year new fetish introduced during the press conference.

Delaware; and Steve Bell from Chicago, items and styles of gear hit the showroom Talk about eye candy. Lordy. I missed the Illinois. floor. Gone are the days when the leather Onyx Fetish Gear Cocktails & Auction beMid-Atlantic Leather 2016 (MAL) of- community only wore black leather. Plus cause I was having such a good time at the ficially started on Friday, January 15th at there is rubber, neoprene, spandex, and cocktail party put on by the Philadelphians the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill, although more. I had a wonderful conversation with in their large hotel suite. Saturday evening I understand that a “Welcome to D.C.” MAL Cameron DeBerry of Anubis Gear. Camer- at MAL brings one of my favorite events kickoff party held by the Centaur MC and on designs incredible rope fetish harness- of the year, “Leather Cocktails.” This forthe Highwaymen TNT at the D.C. Eagle es. They are quite a work of art. You can mal leather cocktail party is a tradition that on Thursday evening was packed. One find Anubis Gear on Facebook. One of the dates back to 1976 and is open only to those of my friends was surprised to learn that hot salesmen from Toronto’s Northbound who have purchased the package for the full the registration for the full event, at a cost Leather told me that he had more sales weekend. For me it is a leather family reof $220, was completely sold out. Many on Saturday at MAL then at the enormous union where I had a chance to see friends International from not just all over the country, but quite a Mr. Leather few who came from outside the U.S. With evevent in Chi- eryone dressed to the nines, this “high cow” cago.

The event never disappoints. There were roast mart includes beef sliders, chicken and vegetable kebabs, all kinds of dumplings, deserts, and much more. Plus gear.

The my dear friend, open bar. During the evening display from there is also a parade of club colors to honor Raw Can- all of the many leather club members from dles was also all over who help make MAL such a success.

Saturday evening I took the free shutquite popular.

At one point tle over to the D.C. Eagle. There was also on Saturday a Mid-Atlantic Uniform party at the hotel. I security had did return to the hotel in plenty of time to to control the catch the big dance in the main ballroom. flow of people The room was a sea of hot young men in into the ex- jockstraps and leather harnesses. I was glad hibit hall be- I had packed that Visine. Talk about eye cause it was strain.

After a wonderful Sunday brunch held in at capacity.

That is how four different ballrooms due to the number of s u c c e s s f u l attendees, the Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2016 MAL 2016 Contest was held. This year’s judges were; International Mr. Leather 2015 Patrick Smith, was.

The large group is some 2016 titleholders who will be going to IML 2016 in Chicago in May credit: Richard Wertman I was thank- Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2015 Daddy Dave

Leather

Line

MAL Was XXL!

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JANUARY 22, 2016 • BALTIMOREOUTLOUD.COM

Gerard, Mr. Seattle Leather 1998 Billy Lane, Mr. Eagle NYC 2014 Cee Jay, Mr. RockBear 2015 John-John, Mr. Leather Europe 2012 Kilker Alcaraz, and American Leatherwoman 2000 Paula Smith. Performing the job of Tally Master were Mr. New Jersey Leather 2015 Thomas Fincannon and International Mr. Puppy 2014 Pup Tripp. After competing in interviews earlier in the day, the contestants appeared onstage in barware, jock, formal leather, and answered an onstage question.

Keeping the contest rolling along was emcee Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 1993 Frank Nowicki. One of the memorable onstage questions was asked of contest winner Todd Leavitt who was asked, “If you could be any famous person living or dead for one day who would you be and what would you do?” Todd replied that he would be Kim Davis and added “I would get my hair done, apply make-up, put on my blue jumper, call a press conference, and rush down to the courthouse and sign every gay marriage license in sight. Afterwards I would resign my position and inform my husband that I needed a divorce because I’m a lesbian!” The audience roared.

Also during the contest there was a brief speech by International Mr. Leather 2015 Patrick Smith who reminded the packed ballroom that, “You don’t have to be a titleholder to make a difference in your community.” There was a somber moment during the step-down speech of Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2015 Daddy Dave who asked for a moment of silence to honor International LeatherSIR 2011 Alan Penrod, a much beloved member of the leather community, who passed away just a few days earlier. I was in shock on Thursday when I heard the news because not only have I known Sir Alan for years, I had the honor at last year’s MAL to share the judges’ table with him.

MAL ended on Sunday night with the popular Dark & Twisted Dance at the 9:30 Club where DJ Ultra Naté kept the party going to 4 a.m.

It was truly a fantastic MAL. The Centaur MC really put on a awless weekend and the staff at the Hyatt was just great.

There was some concern a few years ago when MAL moved to this large hotel from the Washington Plaza. The rst year the event did not ll the hotel. It now not only lls the 834 room Hyatt, but many had to stay at other hotels in the area. The lobby was so packed that the wait to ride the elevator was longer than the line for Space Mountain, but a much more entertaining ride. The staff really upped their game with extra bars, food stations, and crowd control.

Plus I had a great room at the Hyatt. The towels were so plush I could barely get my suitcase closed. Reservations are already being taken for MAL 2017. You will not want to miss it. I’m sure it will be even bigger. t

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