Baltimore OUTloud • February 19, 2016

OUT

AN INDEPENDENT VOICE FOR THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER COMMUNITIES February 19, 2016 | Volume XIII, Issue 23

Historic Agreement Brings Region’s Two Gay Papers Under One Roof

By Joe Berg co-founder of Pride Media In a historic move that addresses the new realities of local LGBTQ publishing in an ever-changing media landscape, Pride Media, Ltd. – the publishers of this newspaper and other publications – has entered into an agreement with the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland, Ltd., (The GLCCB) to purchase their mainstay publication, Gay Life Newspaper. In what is being heralded by both parties as a win-win for the community, the sale allows Baltimore OUTloud to refocus its publishing resources across the region while simultaneously forwarding the storied and critical history of Gay Life. And it allows The GLCCB to continue its focus on core services.

The GLCCB began publishing Gay Life – originally in the form of a calendar and activist newsletter – in the late 70s. And while such facts are near impossible to confirm, it is among the oldest LGBTQ community newspapers in the country. The agreement to sell and purchase was signed on the week of February 11th, with a final contract to be executed within 30 days.

Jim Becker, a founder of both the GLCCB and later of Pride Media and co-publisher of Baltimore OUTloud, said of the agreement, “I see this as a tremendous advance for the LGBTQ communities. Despite the huge gains we have made in the 39 years since the Center’s founding and not long thereafter the initial publication of what is now Gay Life, much work remains.

In those early days, there was a small cadre of activists doing most of the work and the Community Center served as an umbrella providing a wide array of services including a switchboard, health clinic, community forums, social programs and the newspaper.

Because there have been such dramatic societal shifts over the decades, with some hard-fought victories for LGBTQ people, many of us are able to live more freely and openly. As the LGBTQ communities have

expanded and diversified and more people as a small wish of mine has erupted into future arrangement.

Under the terms, the GLCCB will be givdeclared their identities, the ability of one a beautiful partnership. This is about unity. organization to meet all of our needs is no There is no longer a need for two separate en two full pages of space to use in each longer possible. This agreement will allow LGBTQ papers in Baltimore; our organiza- issue as it sees fit, allowing the organization these two vital community organizations to tions will work in harmony towards a com- to communicate directly to Baltimore OUTfocus on what they do best with the GLC- mon goal of serving and uniting our com- loud readers while forwarding its mission.

CB enhancing its many services and Pride munity. This strategic partnership allows (The GLCCB may also utilize an additional page once a quarMedia assisting the Center, at its discretion, ter through the pages of as well as two extra Baltimore OUTloud and pages in the two ismedia sponsorships. Our sues that proceed victories have required each year’s Pride everyone in the commufestival.) nities to adapt, and this Baltimore OUTagreement will enable loud, is assuming both of us to serve the the publishing burcommunities better.” den for the annual Jim Williams, a foundPride guide, with all er and president of Pride net profits to be split Media and co-publisher of evenly between Baltimore OUTloud, said Pride Media and the of advertisers in the reGLCCB. gion, “This agreement will The GLCCB allow them to stretch their maintains the right marketing dollar further, to publish a newswith more efficacy, when letter or other cirthe previously competing culars, so long as distribution maps of both papers are merged, along Thomas Idoux and Rik Newton-Treadway (boardmembers of The GLCCB), Jabari Lyles those publications with integrated content, (GLCCB president), Jim Williams (president of Pride Media), and Jim Becker (co-owner do not include paid advertising or topics and readers across the Pride Media) that are not associMid-Atlantic can receive their news from a single, unified source.” both organizations to become stronger, and ated with The Center. And Baltimore OUTIn a statement, co-publishers Jim Becker I cannot express how excited I am for what loud will be recognized as a media sponsor for all GLCCB events. and Jim Williams acknowledged “the loyal- we will be able to accomplish together.”

Baltimore OUTloud and Pride Media will Rik Newton-Treadway, an community and special contributions of Mary Taylor, director of marketing and production for ty leader and GLCCB board member who also support GLCCB events through its onBaltimore OUTloud, not only for her tireless was among volunteers that would publish line and social media platforms, and other day-in and day-out work in producing the and hand out Gay Life in the 70s when it conditions ensure a productive give-andpaper but also the critical role she played in was merely a newsletter, said “This historic take of support between the organizations. merger of our community’s newspapers is a bringing this agreement to fruition.

The priceless archives Jabari Lyles, president of the GLCCB win and a new beginning for the future of all What is now Gay Life, was originally Board, expressed his complete support for LGBTQ Marylanders.” a mimeograph calendar, written by Harthe agreement and enthusiasm for the new vey Schwartz, the second president of More voices, one publication collaborative relationship being forged by The agreement guarantees that such the Center and its first executive director. the GLCCB and Pride Media. “He also went —continued on page 3 on to say, “What was mentioned in passing a breadth of voices will be included in the BALTIMORE OUTLOUD February 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

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FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

news // LOCAL Region’s Two Gay Papers TO BE Under One Roof – continued from page 1 Harvey and gay youth, including Rik Newton-Treadway prepared the calendar for mailing in plain white envelops at parties in Harvey’s apartment that Harvey called “Stuffers Balls.” The youth and Harvey

also distributed the calendar at the bars.

The calendar evolved into the Gay Paper in 1980 that was published by volunteers to help coalesce the community during times of political and public health crises, The Gay Paper eventually was able to hire a professional staff. It covered everything from the AIDS crisis, to hate crimes, to lo-

Big Victories Require New Approaches Just as communities like Baltimore were organizing politically and with strength and infrastructure at the end of the 70s, the spread of HIV/AIDS decimated many.

Entire communities were forced to rapidly refocus their new and hard-fought resources to create medical infrastructures and advocate for government intervention, while countless neighbors, leaders, and organizers were needlessly lost.

(Many of the ad hoc, volunteer efforts in those days later grew into some of the larger organizations that serve the entire city today.)

And with at-times overwhelming societal discrimination, neighborhoods such as Mt. Vernon in downtown Baltimore provided a much needed respite and community hub … not just for residents and visitors, but also for gay-friendly businesses and nightlife.

And those times have changed dramatically.

Flash forward to 2016 and last year’s Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage, and you see a vastly different world where geography is not such a deciding factor in the quality of life for the LGBTQ community.

While Mt. Vernon and other areas remain critical community gathering hubs which will always serve a need, their LGBTQ identity has often shifted from their peak in the 80s-90s.

This by no means suggests that the community is fractured or that the work is done.

It does, however, mean that news, entertainment, and information about LGBTQ-friendly businesses must be delivered over a wider area, with an insider knowledge about where LGBTQ citizens congregate. And we have been doing that hard work at Baltimore OUTloud for 13 years.

In recent years – as just one example

of what this new reality means in publishing – we have added regular coverage of “OUT in the Valley” communities in northern Maryland, West Virginia, and southern Pennsylvania, to encourage more commercial and cultural exchange between populations in both regions.

Similarly, even small suburban towns like Bel Air in Harford County have LGBTQ groups that gather in restaurants to socialize, and there you will also find stacks of our papers.

And we do that extra work – asking our many contributors, neighbors, and readers “where” and then going out of the way to deliver our papers “there” – so that the advertisers who make our work possible can reach the LGBTQ community everywhere.

We have also continued to strengthen our coverage of smaller communities across the state while continuing to focus on state, county, and local politics, spiritual communities, the arts, legal and medical needs, lifestyle communities, and more.

Now, with this agreement, we are able to combine our content with that of Gay Life, as well as our distribution lists. While we already distribute Baltimore OUTloud to almost 150 locations from Pennsylvania to West Virginia and Rehoboth Beach. We also expect to add more distribution locations through this agreement.

And by consolidating two advertising outlets into one for the benefit of businesses that seek the LGBTQ community’s support, we can increase our size of our paper, the quality of our content, and the breadth of information we provide.

We look forward to sharing many of the exciting changes ahead with you, our neighbors and readers. We thank you for your support over the last 13 years, and we look forward to building a stronger community and future together! t

Baltimore OUTloud & Gay Life merge

cal politics including passage of the city and state gay rights laws, to nightlife, and all of the niches in between.

In the mid-90s, a decision to make the newspaper the voice for the larger regional LGBTQ community saw it renamed Mid-Atlantic Gay Life. And in the late 90s, it returned to its Baltimore roots, changing the name once again to simply “Gay Life.”

Over the years, The GLCCB had maintained a hard-copy archive of its newsletter-turned-newspaper, which provides an incomparable and priceless time-capsule history of Baltimore’s LGBTQ community over nearly 35 years of development.

Those archives are now housed for preservation and public access at the University of Baltimore, and through this agreement, both parties have equal and unfettered access to – and right to use for publishing purposes – the archives.

All copyrights owned by The GLCCB or Gay Life will transfer to Pride Media under the agreement, along with complete business and publishing records. These include records of all current and past advertisers, existing employment and advertising contracts, lists of contributors, and distribution lists. The GLCCB, for its part, retains all liability for any debts already in

existence at the time of the contract’s signing.

History of Pride Media Pride Media was founded in 2003 for the original purpose of publishing Baltimore OUTloud, to fill the perceived need for an independent voice for the LGBTQ community. Lee Mooney, Jim Becker, Jim Williams, and Joe Berg founded the company and immediately hired Mike Chase as publisher. With the assistance of staff and volunteers, the company soon added specialty publishing and event production to the list of services. “The success of Baltimore OUTloud these 13 years in large part is due to the support and good work of the staff and volunteers.” said Jim Williams the president of Pride Media LTD. “This is a win win for both Baltimore OUTloud and Gay Life. The combination of Baltimore OUTloud and Gay Life will produce a better product to serve the community.”

Baltimore OUTloud currently distributes 5,000 free copies to almost 150 locations every other Friday, with specialty issues and publications throughout the year. You can read past issues and find more information online at BaltimoreOutloud.com. t

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news // LOCAL

Johns Hopkins Launches Only U.S. Center for HIV-positive Organ Transplants

By Lauren Nelson Johns Hopkins recently received approval from the United Network for Organ Sharing to be the first hospital in the U.S. to perform HIV-positive to HIV-positive organ transplants. The institution will be the first in the nation to do an HIV-positive to HIV-positive kidney transplant and the first in the world to execute an HIV-positive to HIV-positive liver transplant.

“This is an unbelievably exciting day

Dorry Segev, associate professor of surgery at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

for our hospital and our team, but more importantly for patients living with HIV and end-stage organ disease. For these individuals, this means a new chance at life,” says Dorry L. Segev, M.D., Ph.D., associate professor of surgery at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

This announcement brings to fruition the exhausting two-year effort Segev put into helping draft and push through the 2013 HOPE Act – a bill signed by President Obama that made it possible for HIV-positive individuals to donate organs, and one of only 57 bills passed in 2013 by the most unproductive Congress in U.S. history.

Approximately 122,000 people are on

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the transplant waiting list in the U.S. at any one time. Thousands die each year, many of whom may have lived had they gotten the organ they needed. Meanwhile, Segev estimates that each year, about 500 to 600 HIV-positive, would-be organ donors had organs that could have saved more than 1,000 people? If only the medical community was allowed to use the organs for transplant.

The antiquated law, which the HOPE Act reversed, prevented doctors from using organs from HIV-positive donors, even if they were intended to be given to an HIV-positive patient desperately in need of the organ. Despite very positive outcomes in non-HIV transplants in HIV-positive recipients and proven results of HIV-positive to HIV-positive kidney transplants in South Africa, HIV-positive to HIV-positive transplant in the U.S. was not a possibility until now.

“Organ transplantation is actually even more important for patients with HIV, since they die on the waiting list even faster than their HIV-negative counterparts. We are very thankful to Congress, Obama and the entire transplant community for letting us use organs from HIV-positive patients to save lives, instead of throwing them away, as we had to do for so many years,” says Segev.

The first approved HIV-positive to HIV-positive transplant could take place as soon as a suitable organ should become available and a recipient is successfully identified and prepared. t

More MD Health Insurance Plans to Be Trans-Inclusive

By Outloud staff On the heels of last year’s successful advocacy that resulted in the elimination of the Transgender exclusion in most health insurance policies issued in Maryland, and its 2014 victories on behalf of transgender state employees, FreeState Legal (and Equality Maryland) announced on February 10th that health insurance plans sold in Maryland on the individual, small group, and student health insurance markets will no longer have transition-related care exclusions. In an email, Patrick A. Paschall, executive director of both organization said, “this is huge – this announcement, combined with another major victory we scored last November, means that the overwhelming majority of transgender people in Maryland will now have access

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to trans-inclusive health care. This includes access to transition-related hormones, mental health services, and transition-related surgical care that a doctor and patient determine is the appropriate course of treatment.”

“We are excited about this on a number of fronts,” Jer Welter, FreesState Legal’s deputy director and managing attorney told Baltimore OUTloud. “It is fantastic that the Maryland Insurance Commission has taken the position that these exclusions are discriminatory.” The insurance commission announced its position in this regard in the bulletin it releases each year advising insurance companies of the requirements for their insurance policies for the upcoming year.

Although the bulletin covers calendar year 2017, Welters said that it is the opinion of FreeState Legal and the insurance commission bulletin states that transgender exclusionary provisions are prohibited by a 2012 federal regulation issued by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services as “discriminatory benefit design.” That regulation is based on the prohibition on sex discrimination in the Affordable Care Act (Obama Care).

In November, FreeState Legal announced that CareFirst, the state’s largest health insurer, and Maryland Medical Assistance, the state’s Medicaid program, had removed discriminatory policy exclusions that have prevented transgender patients from accessing medically necessary care for the process of gender transition. At that time, Paschall said, “with the removal of transition-related care exclusions from all health insurance plans CareFirst offers in Maryland and by allowing low-income Marylanders to access transgender-inclusive benefits through Medicaid, thousands of transgender people will now have access to life-saving and gender affirming transition-related health care. We applaud CareFirst and the Hogan Administration for taking these important steps to ensure that transgender

people have equal access to the health care they need.” Former Governor Martin O’Malley announced in November 2014 that the Maryland Medicaid program intended to remove the exclusion.

The state decided to eliminate the transgender exclusion for low income people that rely on Medicaid for their health care following its 2014 decision to eliminate the discriminatory policies from its employee health insurance program. The change in the employee health insurance program was a part of a settlement of a legal claim filed by FreeState Legal on behalf of a transgender state employee. In place of the exclusion, the State instituted a comprehensive “gender dysphoria benefit.” Following that settlement, FreeState Legal approached Maryland’s Medicaid agency and requested that the Medicaid program be updated to reflect the benefits offered to state employees and the state agreed.

CareFirst’s discriminatory policy denied coverage for any “treatment leading to or in connection with transsexualism, or sex changes or modifications, including, but not limited to surgery,” The Medicaid exclusion barred coverage for “gender change or sex reassignment procedures.” The state employee health insurance program excluded coverage for any “procedure or treatment designed to alter an individual’s physical characteristics to those of the opposite sex.”

Welters said the gains since 2014 mean that most transgender Maryland citizens have access to coverage for transgender related health care. However, he said, “Although we believe that no Maryland health insurance plan should contain exclusionary provisions, we are not quite at full coverage.

The large group market and employers that self-fund their employee health insurance are a work in progress.” He added that FreeState legal believes that even these plans are prohibited from discrimination under federal law. t

beyond the beltway compiled by Jim Becker

Gay PayPal billionaire donates to antigay Ted Cruz Houston, Texas – In spite of Ted Cruz’s vocal opposition to LGBT rights, one of his biggest financial backers is gay billionaire Peter Thiel. Thiel, who cofounded PayPal and was an early investor in Facebook, has a net worth estimated by Forbes magazine at more than $2 billion. He has been close to Cruz since 2008, when he hosted Cruz and several other up-and-coming young Republicans at a swanky $1,000-a-room Miami Beach hotel. In 2009, Thiel gave Cruz $250,000 to run for Texas attorney general.

Peter Thiel

That same year, Cruz attended another Thiel-sponsored retreat, this time at Reynolds Plantation in Georgia.

Thiel was also a major supporter of Cruz’s 2012 Senate campaign, giving $2 million to the Club for Growth, which in turn spent heavily on Cruz’s behalf. That year, the Center for Responsive Politics reports, the Club for Growth spent $18 million on elections, with individual Club members donating another $4 million to campaigns.

Like the Koch brothers, Thiel identifies himself as a libertarian. In addition to his support for Cruz, Thiel was also a major donor to Ron Paul’s 2012 presidential super PAC. In his current presidential campaign, Cruz cited Thiel’s friendship at an April 2015 fundraiser at the home of two hotel owners whose properties cater to a gay clientele.

While Thiel has not explicitly endorsed any candidate in the 2016 presidential race, he has said he admires Cruz’s intelligence.

“Well, I think he’s very smart,” Thiel said of Cruz. “I think one of the challenges we have in the Republican Party is ... our representatives, our senators are somewhat lower

IQ than the people on the other side. So I think there is something to be said for getting some really smart people in there.” (Seattle Gay News – Mike Andrew at Sgn.org)

Newsweek report questions veracity of Philly altar boy Philadelphia, Penna. – Today, Daniel Gallagher is living in Florida with his new wife, who’s expecting the couple’s first child. And, thanks to the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, he’s also a multimillionaire.

Based upon his testimony two priests and a school teacher were convicted and sent to prison for sexually assaulting him when he was in the 5th and 6th grades and a monsignor became the first Roman Catholic official to be convicted of child endangerment for not acting against “predator” priest. However, in an explosive article in Newsweek, reporter Ralph Cipriano raises serious concerns about Gallagher’s veracity. Cipriano’s investigation exposes Gallagher as much more than the “sweet, gentle kid with boyish good looks” described by Rolling Stone writer Sabrina Rubin Erdely, who is also the author of the now discredited University of Virginia “Jackie” rape story.

As recounted by Cipriano, on October 9th, 2015, Gallagher reported to the office of Dr. Stephen Mechanick to undergo a court-ordered forensic psychiatric evaluation. It took nearly three hours because the two men had a lot of ground to cover.

Gallagher is better known as “Billy Doe” the

Did false allegations of abuse make Daniel Gallagher a millionaire?

pseudonym he used as his claims of serial rape by the two priests and the school teacher made sensational headlines. In

the article, Cipriano states, “Judging from Mechanick’s report, Billy Doe has as much credibility as Jackie.”

The article states, “In a 40-page report obtained by Newsweek, the forensic psychiatrist recounted Gallagher’s test results from the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory test known as the MMPI-2. ‘The client is apparently immature and self-indulgent, manipulating others to his own ends .... He may act out against others without considering the consequences….

His manipulative and self-serving behavior may cause great difficulties for people close to him…. An individual with this profile is usually viewed as having a Personality Disorder, probably a Paranoid or Passive-Aggressive Personality..... Mechanick wrote. ‘It is not possible to conclude to a reasonable degree of psychiatric or psychological certainty that Mr. Gallagher was sexually abused as a child.’ The detective who led the Philadelphia district attorney’s investigation into Gallagher’s allegations against the priests and teacher also has some disturbing doubts.... In a confidential deposition obtained by Newsweek, retired Detective Joseph Walsh ... testified that when he questioned Gallagher about those discrepancies, Gallagher usually just sat there and said nothing. Or claimed he was high on drugs at the time. Or told a different story.’” (Newsweek.com – Ralph Cipriano, The full story may be found at Newsweek.com/2016/01/29/billy-doe-altarboy-sends-four-men-prison-philadelphiarape-case-417565.html)

Tattoo artists ink ‘Stations of the Cross’ for Dallas church Dallas, Texas – A Christian ritual around for centuries is getting a fresh take at a local church. For Lent, White Rock Community Church is displaying the Stations of the Cross, a set of 14 images depicting of Jesus’s last day on Earth, in a non-traditional way. Local tattoo artists are using ink on paper to produce their own unique versions of those images that will be on display in the church’s sanctuary every Friday between February 12th and March 18th.

Rev. Douglas Shaffer, White Rock’s pastor, will guide congregants and visitors through the images for a time of contemplation, prayer, and observance of Scripture.

Stations of Cross Tattoo artist Chelsi Nichols

“People who aren’t tattooing may think it’s a radical stretch to use tattoo artists for a holy observation]. There’s a lot of preconception about tattoo artists and the communities they serve,” said Shaffer. “If you think about it, tattooing is a highly spiritual experience.”

Wanting more than mere imagery, Shaffer wanted to reach out to a community that might be misunderstood by his congregation and the artists didn’t hesitate for a moment. In fact, a number of them clamored to participate. “The collaboration quickly fell into place,” Shaffer said.

“It’s really not that dramatic a shift for our artists – they tattoo crosses, Bible verses, and religious icons more than most people would ever know. This time, they don’t have to ask their canvases to sit still,” said Sharon Flatte, who owns two tattoo shops. One of the artists, Cody Biggs, has a personal passion for religious artwork.

He organized the distribution of the panels among his coworkers. “Most traditional Stations of the Cross are done by one artist.

This project is an opportunity for us to work together. It’s a rare chance for our individual work to be part of a larger collection,” Biggs said. t (Dallas Voice – James Russell at Dallasvoice.com)

These news notes have been compiled, with permission, from the online version of various newspapers and other web sites. We thank these publications for allowing us to bring you their news stories. Usually the reports have been significantly edited and you can read the full story by going to the web site mentioned following the item. Comments are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker and not of Baltimore OUTloud or Pride Media.

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Voice of the Center

February 2016 President’s Letter Dear Community, Exactly one year ago, I walked into the Waxter Center and started my journey as the newest member-at-large on the GLCCB board of directors. It was on the evening of February 9th, 2015 that I accepted a position on the then four-person board, charged with the mission to do what I can to revive the famously failing GLCCB. Fast-forward one year later, and I am incredibly proud to look back on our remarkable progress since that evening in 2015.

Let me be clear: our work to heal and restore our organization Jabari M. Lyles, is not done. However, GLCCB we have overcome president several tremendous, initial hurdles in order to honestly begin the process. I am pleased to share these key developments with you, and provide perspective on how we can take this very important initial work to the next level.

Our team – Perhaps the most significant change to our organization has been to the people who make up our organization. On both board and staff, I have worked hard to assemble a team of passionate, capable people in our community who are working enthusiastically and appropriately to deliver our mission. Today, our board consists of 13 active members – the largest board in at least five years. Kenneth Morrison, our director of programs who is also executive director and CEO of the arts-activism organization DewMore Baltimore, is working closely with Kevin Holt, our outreach coordinator, on fresh approaches to how we serve the community. Our office manager, Key’Ayshia Tucker, a passionate community member with a background in health administration, is leading our volunteer engagement program. Chris Strietman, our finance manager with over 20 years of investment banking experience, is working hard to ensure our accounting and financial practices are sound and secure. We have an extremely motivated pool of volunteers who assist with day-to-day center operations, and we have recently brought on five new interns with backgrounds in graphic design, communication, digital marketing, women’s studies and videography. Our staff is diverse, loveable, and dedicated. Community members of all ages, races, genders, religions, classes and/or health statuses should feel comfortable being served by this team.

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Our programming – We have adopted a back-to-basics approach to our programming.

We recognize the incredible work of all of the various LGBTQ organizations in Baltimore, and do not wish to duplicate the work of another group who is already doing that work well. Instead, our focus will be to highlight and unite these efforts for the greater benefit of our community, and to work on filling any gaps. We have placed a large focus on meeting the needs of LGBTQ youth, and have experienced lots of exciting success with engaging this population.

Last summer, we hired nearly 20 youth from the Baltimore City YouthWorks program, who worked with us to create our new Shawnna Alexander Helping Hands Clothing Closet, a resource that provides free clothing and food monthly to Baltimore’s homeless and needy, named after Baltimore’s own legendary performer and tireless advocate Shawnna Alexander. In partnership with GLSEN Baltimore, we revived the youth and young adult program, which the youth have named Youth Against Oppression (YAO).

YAO meets several times per week and is already pursuing funding and developing projects. We are excited to join the Baltimore City Health Department and over 20 other collaborative partners to tackle our city’s HIV epidemic and spread knowledge about Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). Our LGBTQ Kwanzaa event in December, Celebrating All of Our Colors, drew a crowd of nearly 70 community members as we celebrated African American heritage and the Black LGBTQ experience.

We are on our way to proving that we can provide much more for our community than just Baltimore Pride.

Baltimore Pride – Planning for Baltimore Pride is underway and is moving along wonderfully. Pride will be 100% volunteer organized, as we have brought together over 30 talented community members who will produce this incredible event. There are nine sub-committees with which to get involved – are you interested? E-mail the Pride co-chairs at glccbpride@gmail.com!

Yes, this past year has been an amazing look at what is possible. With some faith, a little intensity, a good amount of dedication, and a

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heap full of love for LGBTQ people and Baltimore, I’ve been able to give some of us here a glimmer of hope for what Baltimore’s LGBTQ community center could be. Now, I invite you into our mission, and into our new beginning.

We have done a bit of the initial work to give this center back to its community, and to create a culture of honesty, transparency and love within our organization. We need you, the community now to move us into the next phase. We are moving forward and growing quickly. Join us

and become a part of this amazing revival. I look forward to seeing you and sharing more about how you can become involved with our mission at some of our upcoming events, including the Community Town Hall on Wednesday, March 2nd, 6:30 p.m. at Chase Brexton, and for the Mayoral Forum on LGBTQ Issues on Tuesday, March 8th, 6 p.m. at University of Baltimore, H. Mebane Turner Learning Commons.

In Pride, Jabari M. Lyles

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thinking outloud

Pointing it Out

By Sage Piper

The Habit of Active Imagination There are times when the universe appears to open up in its cavernous depths and provide us answers in ways that feel enlightened and deliciously full circle. Or maybe this is just a figment of our imagination, and such illuminated symmetry actually arrives not as a passive serendipitous gift, but because we have taken up the call to eagerly seek it out … speaking truth to the old adage that the more you look, the more you find. In any case, just as I was in the middle of pondering in my last column the seemingly rooted but actually acquired habits of homophobia displayed by people like Kim Davis in Kentucky,

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just as I was revisiting my own awakening consciousness of racism as a child and the attitudes of the adults who surrounded me and made up my world – I discovered with excitement that Angela Davis was set to speak at Johns Hopkins that very evening, to a sold-out crowd on a cold and bracing night in north Baltimore.

A few hours later, by some combination of hutzpah and a series of lucky breaks, I found myself seated in the second row, front and center in Shriver Hall, waiting for Angela Davis to appear. When she did, she exceeded expectations – passionate activist, educator, and revolutionary thinker, she spoke at length about the things that are so essential to her as to now be entwined in her blood and muscle tissue – social consciousness, feminism, the fight against homophobia, xenophobia, societal structures based on racism and oppression, and she called for nothing less than the abolition of prisons and the entire prison industrial complex. She was gracious with her mind and with her time, answering more questions from the audience that the presenters called for and posing for innumerable pictures with the students whom she

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clearly respected and appreciated.

She set my mind reeling. Reeling enough to go home and seek out other talks, ones I hadn’t explored before … and soon I found the one that I needed to find, the one that had been waiting for me to find it. In that one speech in the vast catalogue of Davis’s recorded talks, she speaks briefly about her childhood. She remembers becoming conscious for the first time, at the age of three or four living in Birmingham, Alabama, of all the places she couldn’t go and things she couldn’t do, all the doors that were closed to her because she was black. And she remembers crying when Angela she realized this … and turning Davis to her mother for answers.

Angela Davis’s mother set out to explain racism and segregation to her. And this is where the essential human miracle came in, the one that I believe made all the difference in her life. This miracle was the complete reverse of what the adults in my own early life, or in the early life of Kim Davis and the thousands upon thousands of Kim Davises out there, told their children.

Her mother told Davis that “this is not the way things are supposed to be. This might be the way they are now but they are not supposed to be this way, and they will not always be this way.” She assured her daughter that one day she would look back and be able to gaze over the long arc and realize the way things had changed … and Davis says, she learned how not to cry. But she also learned that the prevailing systems and beliefs of the day were inherently wrong, because the authority figure in her life was telling her so. Thus she did not grow up internalizing it, there was never a day when she did not fight and rebel against such a system, knowing inside that there was a solid foundation for such rebellion. When my uncle made that incredibly racist remark that day in my childhood, my parents did not take us aside later that night and explain to us that he was wrong, and in their silence they somehow acquiesced. And I can only imagine the scenes played out day after day in the lives of the Kim Davises of the world, the attitude toward homosexuality and the utter lack of a vision in which those who are gay are attributed the rights and feelings and worth of valuable human beings.

Hearing these words of her mother, I could understand how Angela Davis could devote an entire lifetime standing up and passionately calling for nothing less than the

radical overthrow of every structure of society in which someone was oppressed or mistreated. Her mother imparted to her something so vital – those habits of perception and of imagination which allows one to have a critical stance toward the world. Once it was crucial to learn how to imagine a world without slavery, and then a world without racial segregation, and then a world where women were not assumed to be inferior to men … and now it is just as imperative to imagine a world without homophobia and xenophobia, and to struggle until violence is eradicated

Inspiration from Angela Davis

from all state practices – a truly radical democracy.

If a woman in Birmingham, Alabama, in the late 1940s could impart to her African-American daughter a sense of vision, a sense of the value of all human lives, and give her the gift of critical involvement with the world in a mission to make it a better place – might there not be hope for all of us, and our children? t

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thinking outloud

My Fabulous

Disease

By Mark S. King

Recovering from Meth Rebuilding Sex Life

By Mark S. King For more than a decade I was an active crystal meth addict. They were the darkest years of my life.

I suffered numerous relapses as I struggled to get clean, and my woeful journey back to crystal meth was always the same. First, small changes crept into my behavior; not about crystal meth precisely, but vaguely related habits that had once accompanied my active drug use would begin entering my routine again.

A return to the gym and a shallow fixation on my body. An abandoned cigarette habit that returned in secretive fits and starts. A feeling of entitlement to do as I pleased, to eat junk or rejoin the lurid party scene, swept over me like a declaration of freedom that hid its true intentions in the fine print.

And then the clarion call became more explicit as involuntary images of using drugs bombarded me, plaguing my sleep and my daydreams. The images became ever more seductive, promising euphoria and an escape from my own feelings.

But the most formidable thoughts that drew me back to active addiction were always about sex.

It feels ludicrous to me now. The sex

life of a meth addict is as compulsive as it is pathetic. The drug ignited an obsession I had never known, taking my authentic sexuality and twisting it into something unrecognizable to me today. It was a constant pursuit of sex partners, naked video chats, pornography, and increasingly extreme and dangerous behaviors that lasted days and weeks at a time. It was an endless loop of desire and disappointment, played out over many years.

Incredibly, I believed the allure of hot sex was worth the consequences that piled up. Visits to the emergency room.

An arrest. The company of psychotic and paranoid addicts. Weapons pointed in my direction. I simply wasn’t capable of seeing the wreckage for what it was.

Throughout my years of addiction, and even during my recovery process, I couldn’t help but wonder why. How could an intelligent and otherwise healthy man turn his life over to such a pitiful existence?

What was going on in my mind?

Therapist and addiction specialist David Fawcett (right), in his remarkable new book, Lust, Men and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, answers these questions and many more about the nature of addiction and the stubborn link between crystal meth and sexual compulsion. I cannot tell you how reassuring it was for me to read that there are physiological reasons for my addictive behaviors. There is comfort in knowing I am not alone in the mental changes that happen to crystal meth addicts, and that these changes are reversible.

I recognized myself on page after page of this book, including the fusing of sexuality and meth addiction, the stumbling blocks of recovery, and the deep and sometimes crippling shame that haunts active addiction and the recovery process.

Most importantly, this book maps a way back to normalcy. I am grateful to say that I recognized myself in these chapters as well, as the slow but steady process of rebuilding my brain took hold during my first years of solid recovery.

Whether you are a health care provider, the loved one of an addict, or are questioning your own addictive behaviors, this book reveals the most personal, and therefore the most shame-filled, aspect of crystal meth addiction and it provides guidance for a way out.

Make no mistake; there is joy, engage-

ment, and a worthwhile sex life on the other side of crystal meth addiction.

I am happy today. I am in a committed relationship that is rooted in honesty and has none of the selfishness and deceit with which I conducted myself during my dark and treacherous decade.

Despite fears that my sexuality had been irreparably harmed, my sex life today is healthy and rooted in affection, love, and mutual care.There are many avenues of recovery, but the science of addiction is

always the same.

This book outlines that science, while revealing the stories of addicts who, like me, have questioned if their sex lives might ever be the same again.

Thankfully, the answer is yes.t This is an edited version of the book’s foreword, which I was honored to write. I not only recommend this book, I urge you to share it with someone you know who may be struggling. You can purchase on Amazon.com

Life after addiction

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Quality of Life // Lynda Does the Law

We Are Married Now!

By Lynda Dee Marriage equality for same-sex couples became the law of the land in Maryland on January 1st, 2013, and across the country after the U.S. Supreme Court decision in the case of Obergefell v. Hodges on June 26, 2015. But there are many important reasons why married couples still need legally recognized, properly executed Maryland wills, powers of attorney, and advance health care directives. The requirements for these documents vary from state to state. You must be sure you are executing documents that are legal in Maryland.

Even if you are married or have a partner and neither you nor your spouse or partner suffers from a life-threatening illness, it is nevertheless important to have your legal affairs in order.

For example, if you are legally married and one spouse who has children dies without a will, it will be necessary for the surviving spouse to get signed consents from the adult children of the deceased spouse before the surviving spouse will

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be named as “personal representative” (executor) of the deceased spouse’s estate. Even if you are married, you will need signed consents before you will be able to receive authorization from the register of wills to begin administering the estate and having access to the assets of the estate.

If you want your spouse to have control of your estate without needing to obtain signed consents from adult children, you

Do we still need wills, financial powers of attorney, and advance health care directives? need a will naming your spouse as personal representative.

If you are married and die without a will and have no children, your spouse is only entitled to the first $15,000 of your estate and 50% of the remaining balance. Your parents are entitled to receive the remaining proceeds of your estate under Maryland law.

If you die without a will and have a

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

spouse and children who are not minors, your spouse is only entitled to the first $15,000 of your estate and 50% of the remaining balance. Your children who are over 18 years old are entitled to receive the remainder of your estate under Maryland law.

If you die without a will and have a spouse and minor children, your spouse and minor children are required to share equally in your estate under Maryland law.

If you want your spouse to receive more than the amounts described above, you need to make such provisions in a will.

If same-sex couples are not married and do not have wills, their rights with respect to each other’s estates are essentially non-existent. The need for a will in these instances is even more crucial. During my years as an attorney, I have heard many horror stories from unprotected partners who lost all rights to their partner’s estate even if they contributed toward house payments, or were not permitted to care for or even visit their partners, being left out in the cold completely when family members came in and took over.

Maryland’s new marriage-equality law does nothing to permit a spouse to access their spouse’s bank accounts or any other financial accounts unless they are titled in joint names. If your spouse or partner is alive but incapacitated, you will not be able to obtain any information or access their accounts or other assets if they are titled in their individual name. No one, not even a spouse, can access these accounts.

You will need a Maryland “power of attorney” in order to gain access to individually titled accounts to be able to pay medical bills and other expenses. You also need to be sure your power of attorney is current as the Maryland law regarding the format and necessary formalities were revised as of October 1st, 2010.

Marriage provides you some protection regarding the ability to make health care decisions for your spouse in non-contested situations. Maryland also recognizes both advance health care directives and domestic-partnership agreements for unmarried couples.

It is even more important for non-married same sex couples to be prepared for emergency medical situations. If couples are not married, they will have absolutely no rights to make health care and end-oflife decisions for their partners without the proper documents. A Maryland domestic partnership affidavit will ensure your partner can make your health care decisions and receive priority in visitation.

An advance directive for health care will ensure that your spouse or your partner can make your health care and end-of-

life decisions, will have priority in visitation and be able to accompany you in an ambulance if necessary. It will also ensure that your final wishes are actually controlled by your designated agent, whether it be your spouse or your partner and not your parents or children.

An advance directive for health care also specifically sets forth your end-oflife decisions so that there is no mistake about your final wishes regarding the administration of extraordinary measures, such as respirators or other life-extending procedures like tube feeding. Even if you are married, your family may intervene to prevent your spouse from making your end-of-life decisions and to permit you to die naturally unless the proper documents have been executed. We all remember the terrible Terri Schiavo case where her parents filed suit to stop her husband from making end-of-life decisions for his wife.

I strongly advise all couples whether they are married or unmarried to execute wills, financial powers of attorney and advance health care directives. These relatively inexpensive documents are worth their weight in gold if you or your spouse or partner becomes ill. Do yourself a favor and protect yourself and your spouse or partner from the possibility of dire consequences if an unfortunate medical situation arises. This may be the only time in your life that you are able to actually ensure your wishes are carried out.

Not many of us enjoy discussing the possibility of sickness or death. But ignoring or denying these eventualities may only cause more problems if an emergency arises. Leaving important legal affairs unattended even if you are married will only make matters worse during high-anxiety situations. Don’t wait until it is too late.

Leaving important end-of-life legal matters unattended will only make a bad situation even worse. t

thinking outloud

Editorial: Remembering Scalia

‘Queer’: Word du Jour?

By Mark Segal There seems to be yet another controversy in our community this week. The issue du jour is over HuffPost changing its dedicated LGBT site’s name from “GayVoices” HE MAY NOT HAVE WISHED HIM DEAD, but Antonin Scalia would have surely to “QueerVoices.” While there are strong opinions on both sides of this issue, when tested Clarence Darrow’s limits. One can wonder what the attorney for the damned, I heard about it, it brought a smile to my as they called Darrow when he defended Leopold and Loeb from the gallows, would face. have thought of a judge who could say in all seriousness that mere innocence is an Since the beginning of my activism insufficient reason to call off the hangman. back in 1969, I’ve witnessed our communiTo call Antonin Scalia a conservative is to demean the word. He was not a con- ty’s attempts to unite over a word or term servative; he was a radical, a culture warrior for whom the rule of law less a pillar to define ourselves. There was “homosexof civilization than a weapon with which to smite the enemy. This he did with gusto. ual,” “homophile,” “gay,” “gay and lesbian,” Even in defeat he hurled gleeful sarcastic insults like spit in his written dissents. and most recently, and most accepted, His vaunted “strict constructionism” was remarkably fluid. He believed the original “LGBT.” So what about queer?

HuffPost’s reasoning? intent of the signers of the Constitution was the only guiding light that mattered, until “We, like many others before us, have the theocratic dictates of his own religious conservatism mattered more. In truth all chosen to reclaim ‘queer.’ ‘Queer’ functhat mattered to him was the culture war.

The complements on his intelligence are equally puzzling. He had a razor sharp tions as an umbrella term that includes intellect that couldn’t think its way past his barstool prejudices. He had a brilliant not only the lesbians, gays, bisexuals and legal mind that reasoned the Constitution doesn’t forbid executing innocent people. transgender people of ‘LGBT,’ but also He was a cerebral judicial scholar who held there is no constitutional right to vote. those whose identities fall in between, outWhen he looked upon same-sex couples asking for nothing more than the same side of or stretch beyond those categories, including genderqueer people, intersex rights others take for granted, that razor sharp incisive intellect was utterly incapapeople, asexual people, pansexual peoble of seeing their humanity, but only something akin to bestiality. ple, polyamorous people and those quesPerhaps in another darker age this man’s belittling vision of human rights would tioning their sexuality or gender, to name mark him for sainthood, but this is not a theocracy, at least for now, and the Ameri- just a few.” can dream of liberty and justice for all is not yet dead despite his best efforts. They First, on reclaiming the word. I say, say at funerals that the deceased is now at peace, but it’s a peace he declined to good luck with that. We saw how great leave to his country as a legacy. All those crafty zingers, the insults to women, gays, that worked for the black community when everyday citizens simply asking the court for justice which he sprinkled with undis- some tried to reclaim the “n” word. While guised pleasure into his decisions, define the man and his legacy. He could have the word “queer” is popular with young used that gift of intellect to strengthen the bonds between Americans. Instead he LGBT activists, many in our community waged an ugly culture war from the bench of the highest court in the land. America detest that word.

Reclaiming a derogatory word is not was made poorer, meaner, and angrier for his having sat there. Perhaps he has gone to a better place now. We certainly have. t – Bruce Garrett a new trend. Some of us used to use the

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. – C larence D arrow Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached. – Antonin S calia

word “faggot.” The first suggested title for my memoir was “Pinko Jew Faggot.” We ruled it out for the same reasons “queer” would have been; it’s just a word du jour.

It’s popular with only one segment of our community, and that segment is overwhelmingly activist-driven.

Most in our community do not consider themselves activists and still feel hurt when they hear that word.

Are we trying to teach our own community, or are we trying to fight for equality? Are we trying to hurt the seniors in our community who suffered harassment by the use of that word and give them another barrier to overcome?

Maybe we should attempt to solve some of the hardcore issues in our community rather than spending time debating semantics.

While all individuals have the right to identify with whatever term or image they wish for themselves, and that should be respected, the word-reclaiming, like that in the black community, will eventually be passé.

So if you spend any capital or time on this, you’re ignoring issues such as homelessness, poverty, employment discrimination, housing to protect our seniors and anti-trans violence.

Those are issues I’d rather fight to solve, not a word – and especially not one that some of the most endangered people in our community see as another barrier. t Mark Segal is publisher of Philadel phia G ay N ews . His new memoir A nd T hen I D anced is out now.

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Quality of quality of Life life

Open Wide ask Dr Eva

Dr Eva Hersh

Meet the Zika Virus Dear Dr. Eva, What is this thing about the Zeeka virus? On the news it sounded like it was only in Brazil, but now there is a case in Maryland? How did that happen? Is there something we can do to protect ourselves?

Worried Dear Worried, Zika (not Zeeka) virus was discovered in Uganda in 1947, and later found in several areas in Asia. The virus was named after the Zika River area in Uganda, where it was first found. People become infected with Zika through being bitten by a mosquito that is carrying the virus. Only a particular type of mosquito, the Aedes mosquito, carries the Zika virus. Zika usually causes

a mild illness (more below). Since Zika has not been a serious problem, little research has been done to learn about it.

What kind of illness does Zika cause?

About 80% of people infected with Zika don’t feel sick at all. Those who do feel sick may have fever, rash, joint pains, or eye irritation. The illness usually lasts less than a week, and almost all infected people recover fully.

As a result of the recent outbreak in Brazil, with hundreds of thousands of infections occurring, more has been learned about the rare and serious complications of Zika infection. Two major complications have been identified: microcephaly in infants whose mothers were infected with Zika early in pregnancy, and Guillan Barre

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syndrome. These two complications may be due to a change in the virus, or they may have existed but not been identified before because they rarely occur and the number of infections was relatively small.

A few months after the start of the epidemic in Brazil, a pattern of birth defects began to appear. The rate of microcephaly, a birth defect causing stunting of the growth of the infant’s brain, increased ten thousand times. Some 4,700 cases have been reported in Brazil in just six months.

Microcephaly often causes stillbirth and fetal death. Infants born with microcephaly rarely live more than a few months. Epidemiologists found that the mothers of the microcephalic infants were infected with Zika during pregnancy. In addition, Zika has now been associated with Guillan Barre syndrome. Guillan Barre is a neurologic complication of viral illness that in severe cases can cause total paralysis.

How and why has Zika spread?

There were no cases of Zika reported outside Africa and Asia until 2007, and no large epidemics. The first large Zika outbreak occurred in Micronesia, a Pacific Island nation, in 2007. Over 70% of the entire population was infected.

The first cases in the Americas were reported just eight months ago, when a widespread Zika epidemic developed in Brazil. This outbreak is believed to have affected over a million people so far. Cases have now been identified in 20 countries and territories in the Americas, including Mexico and Puerto Rico.

The Aedes mosquito, which transmits Zika, is present in all areas affected so far. The range of this mosquito extends to the southern U.S. Should we be concerned?

During the current Zika epidemic, there have been a small number of Zika cases in the U.S. Until recently, all of these cases occurred in people who had recently travelled to Central America or Brazil. In recent weeks, a few cases have been found in people with no history of travel. These cases have been transmitted through sexual contact. Although there are very few of these cases reported so far, they are concerning because if the Zika infection can be sexually transmitted it can spread to areas where the Aedes mosquito does not exist.

What can be done?

There is no vaccination or medication

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Ask

Dr. J

Janan Broadbent, Ph.D.

Baby It’s Cold Outside As I write this, the Weather Channel advises that it feels like two degrees outside.

The wind is howling and it seems outdoors at this time is not fit for man, woman, or beast. There is further promise of colder days coming. Also, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. So I started to think of what it is like to be with a partner, all cuddled up, warm and cozy, or by yourself, with not a body next to you but a soft blanket. Then too, there may be pets that add to one’s presence.

It is well established that physical contact with another warm body is good, not only for physical but also for mental health. Babies thrive with closeness to mom, dad, or caretaker. Infants in orphanages, who do not get held, practically “wither.” There is body and mind hunger for that close, soft hug that does not have any substitute. I often hear someone complain that all their partner needs to do when one is going through a hard time is to hug, not to

currently available for Zika virus. Women who may become pregnant are at gravest risk from Zika infection. For women in areas where Zika has been identified who are considering pregnancy, it would be safest not to become pregnant until after the end of mosquito season and also avoid conception during mosquito season and the three months before mosquito season.

As with other mosquito borne diseases, Zika can be prevented by avoiding mosquito bites through using window screens, insect repellent and wearing covering clothing. This becomes important as the weather gets warmer and mosquitos begin to hatch. t Eva Hersh is a Baltimore family physician. Please send questions and comments to her by e-mail at dr.eva@baltimoreoud.com

put up a dissertation of words on how to resolve the issue or how not to be upset.

So if you are single, do you see a time like this as an opportunity to appreciate doing what you want; watching the shows you choose, maybe just vegging out, or do you miss the companionship and feel lonely?

Singles, especially after a certain age, often have to deal with the question of: “How come an attractive person like you is still single?” Although attitudes about singledom are changing, it is my experience that this question typically implies that, if it is by choice, it is the wrong choice (because who in their right mind would choose to be so?), and two, that if it is not by choice, what is wrong with you? I have heard many

say that they resent the negativity that comes across with the question. Rightly so. I haven’t heard anyone ask: How come you are in a relationship? Implication: You shouldn’t be.

Yes, Western society favors coupling, what with the economic and generational concerns of sustaining communities’ survival. But just take a look at most travel quotes on hotel rooms, tours, cruises, and the like. They are based on double occupancy per person. As a single person, you are stuck with the surcharge. Yet there is also a premium on individual achievement and success.

I am suggesting that for ourselves and others, it is important to appreciate whatever life circumstance we or they are in, whatever choices we or they have, and appreciate the present with its positives.

Don’t forget the negatives but use them to challenge your thoughts and beliefs. She & Him sing the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” so we can delight in the music and the lyrics while relating to the sentiment and carrying on with whatever we want to engage in, by ourselves or with our partner.

Here is wishing everyone, single or couple, had a great Valentine’s Day! t

out in the valley // LOCAL NEWS

Helping-Profesionals Welcome at LGBTThemed Conference

By Outloud staff Welcoming Frederick is a one-day conference dedicated to providing professionals with the tools necessary to build affirming communities and schools for LGBTQ youth and adults.

They have assembled a dynamic panel of facilitators from across Maryland. Experts from FreeState Legal, GLSEN Baltimore, Chase Brexton, and other organizations will be sharing their knowledge with our community.

Workshops will include a LGBTQ youth panel; a session on “What LGBTQ really means,” including the difference between gender identity and assigned sex, and what allyship looks like in practice; building safe schools; responding to LGBTQ youth in crisis; understanding the legal right of transgender and gender non-conforming Marylanders; and building an affirming medical practice for LGBTQ patients.

This conference will be held at the Frederick County Community College Conference Center on April 2nd, 2016 starting at 7:30 a.m.

Registration includes a continental breakfast, lunc,h and snacks. Continuing education credits are available for social workers, and are being pursued for medical professionals and educators.

Those interested can register here: Evenbrite.com/e/Frederick-as-a-welcoming-community-conference-tickets-21417823286 t

Carnival in Frederick

by Outloud staff On Saturday February 6th, the Frederick Center hosted their 2nd annual Carnival at the Hampton Inn in Frederick, Maryland. The Frederick Center is a non-profit organization that helps the LGBTQ community and offers programs for youth, gender-variant adults, and families.

The Carnival 2016 drew over 100 at-

tendees and had a Brazilian flair.

The Hampton Inn in Frederick sponsored the event and and their ballroom was fully decorated for Mardi Gras. DJ Urban Cowboy was on hand to provide dance music, and there was a buffet of Brazilian hor d’oeuvers and an open bar.

Besides the DJ, the Center provided a performance of Bra- Kristopher Fair, outreach coordinator; Bob Rice; Christine Renshaw; zilian dancers. Brian Walker, board chair; and Ted Hallock credit: Dale Gish Later in the eveevents,” said Fair. t ning there was Browse to the TheFrederickCenter.org another performance by a group of Hip Hop or on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheFreddancers and the dance floor filled.

During the evening the Ally of the Year erickCenter Awards were presented to Bob Rice, Ted Hallock, and Christine Renshaw by the Frederick Center’s Kristopher Fair (outreach coordinator) and Brian Walker (board chair).

The funds raised will help the Frederick Center and its various programs one of which is to provide OraQuick Home HIV test kits. These are distributed to local organizations for those individuals to test in the privacy of their own home.

“We are proud of the incredible growth of Carnival celebrating only its second year. This event has garnered regional attention as a ‘must attend’ event. The Frederick Center and its allies strive to promote an exceptional template for future Carnival

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Downtown Frederick Partnership’s February 6th ‘Fire in Ice,’ featuring ice sculptures, s’mores stations, live ice carving demonstrations, and ice themed activities credit: Dale Gish

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out in the valley

Parenting OUTloud

Rev. Kelly Crenshaw

Can’t You Just Get Along?

When I was a little girl, my brother and I were like oil and water. We just couldn’t get along. He did everything he could to annoy me and that led to arguments, really loud arguments. The older he got, the more creative he became. When I was in high school, he would hide on the second floor balcony and wait for my dates to appear.

Then, without warning, he would drop a string of lit fire crackers at their feet. Those little events always led to fights, maybe not right away, but certainly later.

When I began my own family, I had the vision that my children would be best friends, playing together and living in a world of sunshine and glitter. They would

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entertain each other for hours and all would be right with the world. I believed that my parents had, in some way, encouraged the rivalry between me and my brother. And, my children would never experience such emotion. Boy was I ever wrong.

At first, our family was fairly small, at least by our standards. We all have to start somewhere. Our first bio child was a baby when we began fostering and adopting.

By the time the second baby came along, we had five kids; two teens, one tween, a toddler, and a newborn. The teen girls enjoyed playing with the babies, but there was a good bit of jealousy, too.

They wanted me all to themselves, going shopping, hearing all about their friends or playing games. They didn’t want me to take time out of our day to tend to the babies’ needs. And, let’s face it, babies are pretty needy people. They need to be fed, changed, played with, and carried everywhere. It just wasn’t convenient for these teenagers.

I should have seen it coming. I should have recognized that the toddler would pick up on the jealousy. But, when it finally happened, it took us all off guard.

We were riding in the car. Who knows where we were going. One of the teenagers called me “mom.” Now, I was fine with that because that’s what she always called me, but my little son became furious.

“That’s my Mommy!” he screamed. We laughed. There was a brief pause before the teenager responded, “She’s my mommy, too.” What resulted was a half hour of them arguing over whom owned “Mommy.” All I heard was, “That’s my Mommy!” repeated about a million times. It went from funny, to awkward, and straight to annoying.

A lot of years have gone by since then, but the sibling rivalries continue. Whether it’s over who spends more time with Mom or who got better grades or who doesn’t want to play with someone else, there is always

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

something to argue about. And, it gets old.

I don’t know about you, but it drives me nuts when they argue. Usually, it’s over some non-issue, at least in my mind, and that makes it even worse. As a parent, I try to be equal and fair. I try to show no favoritism, but no matter how hard I try, it comes back to bite me in the end, they argue.

Some of it is normal and expected, but when it gets to be too much to handle, we have a tried and true approach. We call it the best friends’ treatment.

And, in our house, nobody wants that.

The first time we tried it, we were on a camping trip.

We had our own kids and a couple of extras along for the ride. One of the extras was the biological brother of one of our sons. They couldn’t agree on anything that day. It one said the sky was blue; the other would insist it was green.

Everyone was tired of their bickering.

So, the best friends treatment was born. I had them hold hands and then gave them a task that they had to do together. If they were able to complete the task without arguing, the treatment was done. If not, they would be assigned additional tasks until they could learn to work together without being mean. And, because they were holding hands, they had to work together.

That day, the boys had to sort plastic cutlery. For the trip, we had collected dozens of forks, knives, and spoons. They were all in a big plastic bag. And, I decided I wanted them separated. So, while holding hands, the boys began their task. With-

in ten minutes of fumbling and false starts, they were laughing. By the time the sorting was complete, they were friends again.

I can’t say it always works this well, but it almost always works. And, if nothing else, it reminds our kids that nothing is so bad that it can’t be resolved by cooperating and working together. They may not always see eye to eye, but they can always be friends with their siblings.

Unless they drop fire crackers from the balcony, then, all bets are off!

Okay, not really. Most of my dates probably deserved those fire crackers, but don’t tell my brother I said so. t Rev. Kelly Crenshaw is the mom of 16 adopted kids, two biological kids, guardian of one baby girl and foster mom of dozens. Some are lesbian, some gay, some straight, and some bisexual. Kelly founded a K-12 day school where kids could have a safe, bully-free environment for learning. She is co-owner of a counselling agency that works with children and their families. She has worked with kids in the foster care system for two decades, actively advocating for all kids, but especially those in the LGBT community. And, in her spare time, she is co-pastor of New Light MCC, the first openly LGBT friendly church in Washington County. She will be answering your questions about parenting, as well as sharing stories of her parenting adventures. Feel free to send your parenting questions to her at pastor. kelly@comcast.net

out in the valley // thinking outloud

The Professional Paradox

By Brian George Hose “Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?”

It wasn’t the first time a client asked me this, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

I probably should have a carefully planned response to this seemingly benign question, but the truth is that planning for such things is useless. When I hear those words my pulse quickens and I can almost feel my pupils dilating, my heart soaring. Why, because I passed.

Then, just as I realize that what I’m feeling is elation, my soaring heart plummets to earth, shattering into a million pieces. I’ve betrayed myself, my beliefs, and my community. I feel sick and my elation is quickly replaced with self-loathing, so fast it’s hard to believe that half a second ago I felt joy.

Why, because I don’t know what to do.

I say no and give a crooked, sideways grin behind the ginger mane that is my beard. The topic is changed as quickly and gracefully as possible. Attention is returned to the client and, once I’m certain it won’t come up again, my breathing returns to normal. I have skirted danger, I am safe.

To be clear, I’ve been out nearly half my life. I’ve spoken publicly on many occasions about my life as a gay man and the issues affecting our community. I’m more apprehensive about sharing my favorite books and movies than I am about coming out.

Even so, work is different.

I work in human services. My job is to go to clients in need, quickly establish a relationship, assess the client and their situation, and do all I can to help. The relationship is crucial. As a professional, I’ve been trained to respect and protect this relationship. Part of doing this requires me to limit my sharing of personal information, especially if that information could affect the working alliance I’m trying to build with my client. In short, coming out could potentially impair my ability to do my job, to help others.

For me, it’s a delicate balance. I chose this career because I like helping people. If I feel I haven’t been effective, I work harder. It makes sense for me to censor myself; after all, if my client isn’t comfortable with gay people it could hinder the work and delay the help they need. I don’t want that, so I try not to take risks that could jeopardize the relationship that is the foundation of the helping process. At the same time, I must be as genuine and warm as possible, otherwise the relationship suffers. It’s a paradox that involves being completely open to the client

while closing off myself.

It occurred to me as I drove away from my client’s home that maybe I was wrong to deflect, that maybe my client actually wanted me to come out, to share myself, to connect on a personal, human level. Maybe, maybe not.

Our community has come a long way and this is a very exciting time for us. We’ve won the battle for marriage equality. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been repealed. Lady Gaga and Beyonce sang at the Super Bowl.

So, in 2016, why would being honest about myself with a client present a problem?

Because attitudes can take a long time to change. Policies can change with the stroke of a pen, but it takes time for society to adjust to social changes. Even now there are people seeking to undo the progress we’ve fought decades to achieve. The truth is that in some ways our community is still vulnerable and may continue to be for some time.

But we are also strong. One of the things that make me proud to be part of the gay community is the courage and strength we have shown individually and as a whole. We have revealed ourselves to the world, knowing that there are others who would dismiss us or wish us harm. We have fought to be able to love openly, to create families of our own, and we have won. We and those who came before us had the strength and courage to stand up and declare that we matter, that we have value, and that our voices will be heard.

I was a teenager when Matthew Shepard was murdered. The world was different then and, like many young people in the LGBTQ community, I was afraid the same would happen to me. Just the suspicion that I was gay was enough to warrant harassment and sometimes violence. For those of us who lived through these times, before anti-bullying campaigns and equal citizenship, the scars of our pasts sometimes open in times of distress, the wounds gaping and bloody and fresh. We learned to survive by blending in, by dimming our inner light.

That’s why the question always elates and disorients me, because it means that I’ve been accepted as an equal, that I am safe and no longer the skinny, lanky boy who

would prefer invisibility to being seen and therefore vulnerable.

I’m sure I’m not the only one with this experience, and I wish that wasn’t so.

That said I’m grateful for those painful experiences. They made me into the man I am today, the man who has found his own value and has dedicated his life to helping others live the lives they want.

Without the memories of that pain it would be difficult for me to empathize and understand others who are hurting now.

We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, but we can decide what we do with them.

What does this mean for us as a community? It means that the world is changing, that things are getting better, and that we are part of that change. It means that soon, maybe even now, I won’t have to worry what my clients will think of me if they find out

I’m into dudes because the new norm will be acceptance.

My client’s question opened my eyes to my own ways of thinking. My response would certainly have been the safe choice twenty years ago, but is it still the best choice today? I don’t know yet, but I feel myself opening to new possibilities in a safer, brighter world.

My hope is that you feel the same.

Thanks for reading. t

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out in the valley

Health Chat

Debbie Anne

Get Your Health Insurance!

Last week someone called my office and said he was afraid he’d been exposed to HIV and asked if we could help with the cost of HIV Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP), medication to prevent HIV infection after exposure and costing about $3,000 for the onemonth supply needed.

This person had gotten drunk and had unprotected sex with a person he felt was at high risk for HIV. He had gone to the emergency room to get a prescription for antiretroviral medications, the medications used for PEP. He had the prescription, but he had no insurance. The answer I had to give was no; there are no publically-funded programs to provide PEP. Can you imagine how many people would be in my office everyday to get PEP if there were?

So, I did the only things I could do for him.

I offered a free HIV test that day and two more over the next few months to make sure he had not gotten infected. I offered him condoms and information about Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). He told me that he and his mother were going to pay the money to get his PEP medications and also pay the emergency room fee, another $500. And then I offered the one other thing I could do for him, I gave him information about how to get health insurance.

It turned out that he was absolutely eligible for free health insurance. If he had had health insurance, his insurance would have covered the cost of his PEP and his emergency room visit.

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Better yet, he would have even been able to get on PrEP, because his health insurance would have paid for that too, about $1,500 a month.

We are now in the second year of implementation of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), and it’s unbelievable how many people are still walking around perfectly eligible for free health insurance, but still don’t have it.

It’s not a complicated process. You walk into an office, give them some information, and they give you health insurance, easy peasy lemon squeeze.

Seriously! Because Maryland is one of the 32 states that chose to expand Medicaid under the ACA, for many, many people it is really just that simple. The 2016 maximum annual income for Medicaid is $16,243.

Folks whose incomes are above the Medicaid threshold may also qualify for health insurance. They would be referred to a navigator, in the same office, who helps clients explore their options among the Qualified Health Plans under the ACA. These are subsidized plans; under the ACA, consumers enjoy a price break based on income. In Maryland, you can even apply for either Maryland Medicaid or a Qualified Health Plan online. Enrollment for those qualifying for Medicaid is open all year long.

Those wishing to purchase a Qualified Health Plan may do so during the open enrollment period in the Fall each year for plans starting on January 1st the next year, or within 30 days of a qualifying event such as having or adopting a baby, getting married or losing other health coverage.

The point is: If you qualify for health insurance, get it. You never know when you might really need it. Just one uncovered, major health event can ruin your finances for a very long time.

For more information about health insurance plans in Maryland visit: Marylandhealthconnection.gov/how-to-enroll. t Debbie Anne is a public-health nurse with Frederick County Health Department in Frederick, Maryland. In 2014 she was awarded a Governor’s Citation for her work with Marylanders living with HIV/AIDS.

out in the valley // real estate

Starting the Home-Buying Process

By Charlotte Ashton The whole home buying process can be overwhelming for the first time buyer. I get that it can defiantly be a huge, confusing process. It will involve a lot of learning.

Almost all buyers nowadays are starting there searches on line: Zillow.com, Trulia.com, Realtor.com, etc. They search and search then suddenly they have found their “dream home.” Who do they often call to see that property, the listing agent? Who do they represent, the seller.

So, here is my first word of advice. You want someone to represent your best interests when you are looking to purchase a home. Remember the seller’s agent is there to represent the seller and try to get as much return on the seller’s investment as possible. When you hire a buyer’s agent, they work for you. They help negotiate the best deal for you making sure you know exactly what you are buying and help “walk” you through the purchase so that you have full understanding of the process.

Most likely you will need an agent at some point. It is very rare that folks buy homes without agents; it’s just too risky.

Without a buyer’s agent you may overpay, the seller may not be disclosing pertinent information about the house, and you could get in disputes while negotiating price or repairs, or worse. My suggestion is that you find an agent that has experience in the location you are searching, is highly reputable, and will be responsive to your needs. You want someone who communicates with you on a regular basis, really listens to what you are hunting for, has the time for you, and the ability to negotiate for

you on your behalf. We are talking usually about the largest amount of money you will ever spend on anything here, folks. This is a huge investment so you want to be sure you purchase wisely.

So, you’ve located a good agent, but before you can really get started you have to get pre-qualified with a lender, unless of course you have the ability to purchase with cash. I do love those buyers. Or you talked to the lender first. You may belong to a credit union, or have a financial advisor that can direct you, or have a good established relationship with a local bank. Those are all good places to check into. If not, or additionally, you may want to have your realtor make a few suggestions in terms of quality local lenders – don’t use an internet lender. A local lender may be able to offer special lending programs to you specific to area or to your income. In my experience I have also found that out-of-area lenders sometimes are not as responsive and proactive if there are any “snags” in the process. In my area most commonly first-time buyers are using FHA, VA, and USDA / Rural Housing loans and occasionally other special type funding, as these loans offer either low or no down-payments and require less out of pocket money at time of closing. My advice is to check out all your options to find out what will best suit your situation and your financial needs. Compare the interest rates, and just as important, be very clear on what it will cost you to obtain that loan.

Once you have found a good realtor and have gotten your financing lined up, then you can really get the process rolling.

Happy house hunting! t Charlotte Ashton (301-991-2036 or caston61@yahoo.com) is a Re/Max agent in Hagerstown, Maryland. She has been offering full-time professional service since 1997 and prides herself on her customer service.

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out in the valley // faith

Spirit

jor world religion: It’s not all about you.

There is a great gift in making other people a priority. There is a gift in sacrifice, in giving for others and to others.

Rev. Rob Apgar-Taylor I have known many people who have borne the burden of caring for a sick or dying loved one. Talk to any of them and they will almost always agree; it was tough, it was scary, it was exhausting, but given the chance, they would do it again in a minute.

There was a blessing in the gift of sacriDoesn’t it tick you off when you lose some- ficing so much to care for someone they thing? In our house that seems to happen loved. often, we put something away for safeSacrifice gives meaning to life and rekeeping and sure enough I can’t find it minds us that it’s not all about us. And what when I need it. Well, it is safe! The reality an important lesson that is! Now I am gois that we all lose things and sometimes ing to be blunt even at the risk of offending we need to! Sometimes we need to lose you. (But if you are offended here, perhaps something in order to gain something even you need to be!) Here goes: We need to more meaningful. learn how to sacrifice. We need to learn the In the Christian tradition we have just gift of giving for the good of others and the entered the season joy it brings. If you of Lent. Lent is a don’t like the idea of “There are no Lent period of 40 days of sacrifice, please…. cookies, carols and preparation as we do not ever enter a look toward Easter. parties. No ugly Lenten long-term relationIt is the season of ship!!! If you are a sweater parties. No one sacrifice, of giving person who likes it up something so that to be all about you, gets excited about lent we can learn those don’t ever get marand it’s a shame, really. I ried! You don’t like areas where we still need this time. I need this sacrifice? Please…. need to grow.

The problem is do not ever have time to look at my life, that we as a culture kids! Trust me, there to examine my motives, are going to be a lot don’t really like sacrifice anymore. I don’t of nights when you to focus on what are think it’s something are going to be up we Americans do really the most important at 2 a.m. cleaning very well. We su- things. Because I really do up something you per-size everything, would much rather believe that sacrifice is a sleep through! And don’t we? I buy the newest, the best, it’s no secret that gift.” the biggest of everyself-centered people thing, not because I make lousy partners want it, but because it is there! Why not? and even worse parents!

There is a story about Jesus being If I do it correctly, Lent is a tough time tempted in the desert. In the story, the dev- of spiritual growth. There are no Lent cookil comes to tempt Jesus three times with ies, carols and parties. No ugly Lenten food, power, and riches. All Jesus has to sweater parties. No one gets excited about do is worship Satan. The story is about lent and it’s a shame, really. I need this temptation, but it’s also a story about the time. I need this time to look at my life, to power of sacrifice. Satan made the story examine my motives, to focus on what are all about him (Worship me!). Jesus on the really the most important things in my life. other hand was clear. As much as any man Because I really do believe that sacrifice would want these things, it wasn’t about is a gift. Sure, it would be easier to focus him. It was about something greater: God. solely on my own wants and needs, but That selfishness, that concern with there is great blessing in giving and serv“What’s in it for me” is the antithesis of ing. The real blessings in life come after Lent. Lent teaches something I do believe all, not in what’s in it for us, but in how we is true and spans across almost every ma- love and are loved. t

Speaks

The Gift of a Gift

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out in the valley // faith

New Light MCC Hagerstown – 20th Anniversary Review

by Rev. Kelly Krenshaw I love a good party. I enjoy all aspects of the planning and preparation. And, New Light MCC’s 20th Anniversary celebration was no exception. The church’s Outreach Committee, led by Charlotte Ashton, did a phenomenal job of coordinating the service, an after party, silent auction, and amazing live music.

We began with a worship service featuring our very first pastor, Rev. Dr. Robert Griffin. He opted to put aside his prepared sermon and spoke from his heart. He recognized many of the founding members who were in attendance. And he celebrated the fact that New Light has been serving the LGBT community in Washington County for 20 years, and beyond.

Our musician, David Kempton, presented special music which warmed our hearts. Our co-pastors, Rev. Sherry Miller and Rev. Kelly Crenshaw, celebrated communion together and talked about how much they’ve enjoyed serving our congregation. Rev. Kelly gave a short video presentation telling of our history and showing pictures of our congregation’s life and ministry over the last two decades.

We were reminded of our congregation’s efforts to feed the homeless, bring smiles to little children, and how we’ve helped those with terminal illness, offered outreach at local gay clubs, and joined in singing, worshiping, celebrating, and remodeling our building. It was a great reminder of how far we have come and of the hundreds of lives we have touched throughout the years.

After worship, we moved to the Gourmet Goat, where we enjoyed great food and conversation. Rev. Kelly had another video presentation prepared. This one was only pictures, over 1,100 of them, showing even more history. The highlight was the set of pictures of Rev. Robert in drag. We’re told it was one of the most successful fundraisers ever held.

Our music was provided by Kipyn Martin, a local entertainer who can often be seen at local Pride events. If you’ve never enjoyed one of her performances, you are missing out. She is incredibly talented and provided our group with a show that won’t

Celebrating 20 years

soon be forgotten.

New Light is looking forward to the future as we move forward into the next decade.

Over the next months, we’ll be sharing our ministries and adventures with OUTloud readers. We will share information about our upcoming special worship services, too. And we’d love for you to join us. t For more info about New Light contact one of the co-pastors at 301-797-5698 or newlightmcc@hotmail.com.

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Lively Arts // qmusic

Solos and Sides

By Gregg Shapiro Talk about staying power! Singer and songwriter Dion (DiMucci), the original wanderer, has been at it steadily since the late 1950s, as the leader of doo-wop group Dion & The Belmonts and later as a prolific solo artist. On New York is My Home (Instant), Dion continues his ongoing exploration of the blues over the course of eight originals, as well as a Lightning Hopkins cover. The album’s best (and least bluesy) tune is the title cut, a duet with Paul Simon, that has the potential to become a hit.

The city of Chicago (and its suburbs) had a lot to live down following the 70s and 80s domination by schlock rock bands such as Chicago (the band) and Styx. Thankfully, the 90s brought about a fresh new wave of acts such as Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair, Veruca Salt, and others. This burst of creative energy continued into the 21st century in Chicago with Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, and the Fiery Furnaces. Eleanor Friedberger of the Fiery Furnaces has been on a solo path since the release of 2011’s marvelous Last Summer.

Backed up by the band Icewater on her latest solo release New View (French Kiss), Friedberger has made an album that sounds as psychedelic as the album cover looks. This is especially true of “Sweetest Girl,” “Does Turquoise Work?” “Two Versions of Tomorrow,” and “Cathy with the Curly Hair.” Also worth noting are the folky “Never is a Long Time” and the soulful “Because I Asked You.” Ben Folds is one of those creative people with too much talent to contain in one setting.

As a member of Ben Folds Five, as a solo artist, working with a cappella groups or collaborating with writer Nick Hornby, Folds has talent to burn. So There (New West), described on the cover as “Eight chamber rock songs,” also includes Folds’s “Concerto for Piano and Orchestra with the Nashville Symphony conducted by Giancarlo Guerrero.” If you’re a Folds fan, all of that info doesn’t scare you off; in fact, if probably thrills you. What’s Ben up to now?

Of course, he’s at the center with his piano, his pleasing singing voice, and his irresistible songs, but now there are strings, woodwinds, and brass. Standout numbers such as “Phone in a Pool,” “Not a Fan,” “Capable of Anything,” and “Long Way to Go” would probably sound strong in almost any setting, and that speaks to Folds gifts as a songwriter and performer.

The three movements of the concerto are also outstanding additions to Folds’s canon.

Rachel Taylor, formerly of He is We, has launched her soaring solo project She is We with the debut album War (Vanguard). Intimate and defiant, Taylor sees these songs as a way of making fans who may only know her from

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her previous outfit aware of who she truly is as an artist and a person. In case you didn’t get it from the title, She Is We is geared for battle. Taylor sings “Fear has gone away,” on opener “Boomerang,” wailing as confidently as Pink. That song certainly sets the tone for what follows on “Better Now,” “Monster,” “Fight For Me,” and the Alanis Morissette-like “Lead the Fight On.” Shearwater, a side-project led by Okkervil River’s Jonathan Meiburg, returns with the impressively new wavy Jet Plane and Oxbow (Sub Pop), easily an early contender for one of the best albums of 2016. Stylistic avenues and shifts aside, what’s really on display here is stellar musicianship (listen to “Backchannels” and “Wildlife in America”). But it’s hard to resist the call to dance to 80s-inspired tunes such as “Quiet Americans,” “Radio Silence,” and “A Long Time Away,” as well as the Death Cab For Cutie meets Bowie of “Filaments.”

As the front-man of lo-fi alternative band Grant Lee Buffalo, Grant-Lee Phillips was a musical presence throughout the 1990s. Phillips embarked on a solo career shortly after the band split up in 1999, releasing a handful of albums under his own name during the 21st century. The latest, The Narrows (Yep Roc), continues in the countrified vein of much of Phillips’s solo output.

The self-titled debut disc by Mass Gothic (Sub Pop) veers from pleasant electro-pop to screamo to theatrical rage and back again as it progresses through ten tracks. A solo project from Noel Heroux formerly of Hooray For Earth, Mass Gothic retains some of the synth play from his previous band while expanding in different directions. Just try not to get up and move to the aptly named, “Want To, Bad,” as well as “Pier Pressure” and “Territory,” as well as the retro pop of “Every Night You’ve Got to Save Me.” But be sure you are prepared for the extremes of “Soul” and “Nice Night.” t Eleanor Friedberger performs on February 19th at MilkBoy in Philadelphia and on April 14th at U Street Music Hall in Washington, D.C. Shearwater performs on March 10th at Rock & Roll Hotel in Washington, D.C. Mass Gothic performs on March 10th at Black Cat in Washington, D.C. She Is We performs on March 22nd at Baltimore Soundstage and on March 23rd at Theater of the Living Arts in Philly.

Ben Folds & yMusic performs on May 3rd in Washington, D.C., at Kennedy Center Concert Hall, and on May 6th in Philadelphia at The Fillmore Philadelphia.

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

// out on stage

Sissies and Sass at Spotlighters

By Ryan Clark Del Shores is to Texas as John Waters is to Baltimore – trashy, tacky, and taboo.

There is a touch of Dixie on display on St. Paul Street in Southern Baptist Sissies at Spotlighters Theatre. Southern Baptist Sissies tells the story of four young gay men growing up in the “buckle of the Bible Belt” – Dallas Texas. Our narrator/protagonist is Mark who wrestles with the contradiction of a Southern Baptist upbringing. It is through Mark that we meet the other sissies: Andrew, Benny and the very handsome T. J. who becomes Mark’s love interest. Chaos ensues as each character grapples with identity in an unwelcoming world. Along the way we meet Peanut – a gay man wrestling with old age within a youth driven world, Odette – an older woman with a past and Preacher Reily – the principle antagonist to Mark’s coming-out journey.

Del Shores is originally from Winters, Texas, which influences much of is work.

Now relocated to West Hollywood, Shores is known for his previous work, Sordid Lives, which was a film and a short-lived television series. Additionally, Shores wrote for the Showtime series Queer as Folk.

Southern Baptist Sissies is deftly crafted together under the skillful direction of Fuzz Roark. Knowing the small theatre-in-the-round configuration very well, Roark keeps the action of the serio-comedy moving. Michael McGoogan MacKay is a delightful standout as the character of Mark. MacKay navigates Del Shores’s rollercoaster script with skill as he masters a series of emotions from desire to wit to joy to rage. Dan Romero breaks your heart as the soft and kind Andrew. Romeo – a University of Michigan BFA graduate – is a vocal stand out. Dennis Binseel brings the angry closeted TJ to life while doubling as the very flexible male stripper. Finally, Tommy Malek delivers an outstanding performance as one of the play’s most heart-filled characters – Benny – better known by his drag name – Iona Traylor. Malek’s performance harkens back to classic drag performers of the 70’s like Harvey Fierstein in Torch Song

Trilogy – an eternal optimist…with a lot of sass.

There are a few moments that the play lags, mostly due to Shores’s script. This is a similar problem that I found with his Sordid Lives venture. He makes his point early and we “get it.” Greg Grenier as Peanut and Melanie Eifert as Odette do their best to keep these supporting characters alive however, it is a flaw in Shores play that these characters exist at all. They do little to drive the narrative forward and I found myself waiting for the four “sissy” boys in order the follow their story. I do not think this is a flaw with Roark’s production rather with the play itself.

Southern but not gothic

On the surface, Southern Baptist Sissies could be seen as just another coming-out story – a narrative about a young (usually white) gay man conflicted between religious dogma and inner truth. Sitting in the theatre it struck me that we are still very much living in this world – a world where religious dogma permeates our national debate both in a presidential election and in a potential Supreme Court nominee.

The statistics on LGBT youth suicide are still ugly. Unfortunately, we still very much need Del Shores’s play – a shining touch of laughter and pain illuminating the darkness that is often true about coming out of the closet.

Southern Baptist Sissies runs through March 6th at the Audrey Herman Spotlighters Theatre. For ticket information visit their website at Spotlighters.org. t Ryan Clark is an assistant professor and program coordinator of Theatre and Media Performance at Stevenson University.

Lively Arts // out on stage

Spelling Begins with P-U-T-N-A-M at Stillpointe Theatre very confident overachiever who speaks

By Ryan Clark In a world of competition ranging from six languages. Finally Ashleigh Haddad’s “Dancing with the Stars” to “The Amaz- performance as Olive Ostrovsky is hearting Race,” it is often good to reminisce breaking and wrenching mixed with humor about more innocent days of the elemen- as she navigates spelling with an absentee tary-school spelling bee… well, maybe. mother and father.

The producStillpointe Theatre “Corey Hennessey brings tion is nimbly dibrings William Finn rected by Amanda and Rachel Sheinkin’s a genuine hilarious Rife who keeps musical, The 25th Annual Putman County honest to the role of Chip the action moving Spelling Bee to life in Tolenino – the pubescent by welcoming the audience into an a charming way that is immercompletely full of heart. pre-teen who is exploding entirely sive experience in The play takes with hormones.” the small 30-seat place in the mythical blackbox theatre. municipality of Putnam County, where the stakes are quite high Her design team includes Ryan Haase, for six youngsters competing to win a $200 who conceived of a simple and effective savings bond for college and a chance to lighting and set design and Danielle Robicompete at Nationals (think Glee). One nette’s whose costume design of adult as by one, we hear their stories of pressure, children completely allows the audience to peanut allergies, magical feet, and one un- suspend disbelief.

I don’t think The 25th Annual Putnam fortunate erection. Song and story collide as the contest moves closer and closer to County Spelling Bee is changing the course elimination. Outrageous spelling words of the American theatre, however it seems include acouchi (an rodent found in the to sit in the canon of classic musicals like Amazon), tittup (movement that is jerky or Mame, Hello Dolly, and perhaps Chicago. exaggerated), and vug (a cavity inside a The primary purpose of these musicals is to entertain – with a little bit of social comrock) – to name a few.

There are several standout perfor- mentary filling in the gaps. If you are looking mances in this spelling romp. Corey Hen- for a laugh to keep yourself warm on a cold nessey brings a genuine hilarious honest February or March night, head to Station to the role of Chip Tolenino – the pubes- North and check out the 25th Annual Putcent pre-teen who is exploding with hor- nam County Spelling Bee, running through mones. Zoe Kanter lights up the small March 18th at Stillpointe Theatre. For more theatre space as Rona Lisa Peretti – the info: Stillpointetheatre.com. t Casts a gentle spell

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Lively Arts // personalities

Comedy’s Queens

by DeborAH draisin Seasoned improv artist and stand-up comic Poppy Champlin has been bringing her “Queer Queens of Qomedy” on the road for almost a decade and a half. Participants have included Karen Williams, Carol Leifer, Jennie McNulty, Mimi Gonzalez, and Vickie Shaw. Second City veteran Poppy has been featured on Logo, Showtime, VH1 and Lifetime. She was a writer on Fox Family’s “Show Me the Funny” and named “America’s Funniest Woman” on “The Joan Rivers Show.” Next month, this eclectic week and a half-long event to Baltimore’s very own Magooby’s Joke House in Timonium. She currently teaches a master class in comedy at the Courthouse Center for the Arts in her home state of Rhode Island.

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Poppy was nice enough to take a moment out of her busy day to share a few laughs with Baltimore OUTLoud.

Deb: When did you first realize that you wanted to do stand-up for a living?

Poppy: I realized it onstage at the University of Rhode Island. I was doing a show there called “Oceantics” (we were all fish).

I did a stand-up monologue, which I called “My Fishstick” and it stole the show every night. One night, the show was so good, that this guy started choking from laughing so hard, and he asked me to stop saying my jokes, because he couldn’t breathe.

Deb: A lot of comedians say that the grist for their material is some sort of trauma – that it’s where that fire comes from.

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Poppy: Yeah, tragic comedy goes all the way back to the Greek playwrights.

(The two emotions) are very much attached to each other. I think that when you find the darkness in order to get to the light, you’ve got to bring the humor in, you know?

Deb: Everybody can find some self-deprecating humor during a weird time, sure, but is it difficult to make that transition mentally?

Poppy: Oh, yeah, it takes time. I think tragedy plus time equals comedy.

Deb: How did the “Queer Queens of Qomedy” get started? What was the inspiration?

Poppy: I had reached a point in my career where I thought I was just as good as any of the other comedians working the circuitv and I wanted to be a headliner but I didn’t have an agent or manager pushing me. So, I went to the Berkshire Hotel in Alexandria, Virginia, and asked them if I could headline a show. They were like “I don’t know your name.” I said “Yeah, but the other lesbians do,” but they said “Nah, we don’t think so. You’re not a Kate Clinton or a Suzanne Westerhofer.” I went “(Damnit!) How about if I bring two other lesbian comedians who I think are just as good as well, and call ourselves the ‘Queer Queens of Qomedy,’ and see how that goes? Then people will know what they’re getting.” He said “Oh, alright, we’ll give it a shot.” He did, and I think we got over 450 ladies to show up.

Deb: And the rest is history. I feel like, in every aspect of the entertainment industry, there are always your token girls, whose names that you know, but basically, it’s a good ol’ boys’ club.

It’s hard to bust that glass ceiling.

Poppy: Oh yeah, coming into the comedy club scene, there would be like 30 guys, and for a woman to get onto that bill, you had to scratch and claw your way.

Deb: Yeah and you’ve got to fight the other girls who are clawing their way there with you.

Poppy: Exactly. To get two onto the bill is almost unheard of. You’d never find a comedy club that would have three women up there.

Deb: No, definitely not. It would have to be “Girl’s Night.” What are you hoping to teach both fans and detractors alike with your comedy?

Poppy: Well, I don’t plan on teaching anything, but I do serve by example.

Deb: How so?

Poppy: I think the example that I set with the comedians that I bring, and the shows that I put on, is that almost nobody can walk away feeling pissed off or violent. These shows put people in such good moods – there’s just so much fun and joy and laughter that the aggression which this world propagates through television, there’s none of it there.

Deb: So your goal is diffusion, I like that. You’re often dubbed “high energy” – I do see why, by speaking to you.

Where do you think that inner light comes from?

Poppy: I think it comes from the spirit of creativity. I don’t know what to call my “God,” but I think that we are all created, and therefore, we are all creative beings.

If I can be a channel for creativity, then it comes from this spirit in the atmosphere.

Deb: What’s been your favorite experience there so far? The coolest thing that’s happened or the most emotional experience, maybe? You’ve been doing it for 13 years, so I’m wondering if a particular memory sticks out, or a person that you met.

Poppy: “Women’s Week” is a lot of work for the comedians. It usually starts on Columbus Day weekend – it’s basically nine or ten days of straight comedy shows.

Deb: Is it hard to come up with that much material?

Poppy: I use the same skeleton, but I like to improv around my material, so it’s never the same show twice. Right now, I hang all of my material on the songs that I’m going to put into the show, so it’s like spin art: no two alike, but hopefully it comes out beautifully.

Deb: You’re welcome. So, you’re going to be in Baltimore very shortly. What are you going to be doing there?

Poppy: I’ve got a bunch of new stuff.

I will look up my old set, from last year, and make sure that I don’t do anything the same. New songs, new material. I’m going to ask Mimi, who was with us last year, to come along again, and Karen Williams will be with us. That’s a big name in lesbian comedy. The show’s going to be even better than last year. t Learn more at Poppychamplin. com, Facebook.com/Poppy-Champlin-8703202658. “The Queer Queens of Qomedy” is live at Magooby’s Joke House, Timonium, Maryland, March 6th, 5 p.m. Tickets: Magoobys.com/event. cfm?id=432900&cart

An interview with Poppy Champlin

Lively Arts // out on screen

Deadpool is Violent, Profane, Hilarious

By Chuck Duncan Way back in 2009, Ryan Reynolds was first introduced to the world as the comic book character Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Except, the filmmakers took the motor-mouthed anti-superhero and did the unforgivable by taking away the one thing that made him unique in the Marvel Comics universe – his mouth. The character’s nickname isn’t The Merc With the Mouth for nothing.

After that debacle, Reynolds moved over to the DC Comics universe to take on the role of Green Lantern in what was supposed to be the launch of a new franchise. It wasn’t. Then one day out of nowhere, someone “leaked” some alleged test footage of Reynolds once again taking on the role of Deadpool, but this time in all of his profane, pansexual glory. The internet went nuts and not long after, 20th Century Fox announced they would go ahead with a feature film. It all happened to fast and furious that one has to wonder if the studio hadn’t already been shooting the film prior to the “leak.”

And now Deadpool has arrived and it’s safe to say it does not disappoint. Full disclosure: I have no nostalgic connection to the comic book character and knew very little about him prior to the film, so any analysis here is based purely on the film. Your mileage may vary if you adhere to the comic canon.

When we first meet Wade Wilson, he’s a mercenary who takes on some very odd jobs like scaring a teenaged boy away from his client, a teenaged girl. Well, let’s back that up a bit. When we first meet Wade as Deadpool, he’s in the middle of a high-speed car chase that quickly escalates into chaos, all while being humorously narrated by Deadpool.

The film then rewinds to the scaring the boy, and then introduced us properly to Wade at a merc dive bar, where he then meets Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), a woman men pay good money to spend an evening with. But the two find a real connection and try to make a normal lives for themselves until ...

Wade is diagnosed with cancer. With little hope of survival. Vanessa tells him she wants to ride this out with him, but he eventually sneaks off in the middle of the night without a word, leaving her heartbroken. Meanwhile, he is approached by a mysterious man who makes him an offer of a cure. Wade takes some time to think about it, but finally takes the plunge only to learn the cure comes with some consequences (disfigurement, immortality) and a catch – he’s going to be sold into slavery as someone’s supervillain henchman. Wade escapes the lab after a (nude) fight with the man responsible for his transformation, Ajax (Ed Skrein), and spends the rest of the movie trying to atone for his sins and to get revenge on the people who made him into a monster.

This sounds like a pretty straight-forward superhero movie, but it is far from straight-forward. As we see right from the start, the film is never going to take itself seriously, and will quite often break the fourth wall to let the audience know they are watching a movie as Deadpool will address the viewers directly on many occasions. The film also pokes fun at (more like brutally stabs) 20th Century Fox for what they did to Deadpool the first time around, as well as making references to his ill-fated Green Lantern series, and scattering a ton of pop culture references throughout the movie (and keep an eye out late in the film for what looks to be the helicarrier from

... And it has heart

Captain America: The Winter Soldier). There are also plenty of references to Reynolds himself, Hugh Jackman and the X-Men films (as Deadpool is firmly set in the X-Men cinematic universe ... although a sort of low-budget version).

Reynolds has proven himself adept at comedy and physical action in films like Blade: Trinity, Van Wilder, and Just Friends and showed off his dramatic chops in Buried and The Amityville Horror (he was even on a season three episode of The X-Files).

Playing Deadpool has finally given him the chance to take everything he’s ever done, mashed it all together with his own persona, and put it all up on screen in the role he was born to play (think of it as a live action Bugs Bunny movie with cursing and extreme violence). He’s got the snark and the action down pat, and he really makes you feel for Wade as he’s dealing with possibly losing his life and the love of his life. The really is no one else who could play this part.

Everyone in the cast does a terrific job of bringing their characters to life, from Baccarin to T.J. Miller to a surprising Leslie Uggams

as Blind Al (I seriously had no idea that was Leslie Uggams). Deadpool also has one of the best opening credits sequence of any film I’ve ever seen, with very snarky ways to list the cast (A British Villain instead of Ed Skrein, for example) and crew (Directed by An Overpaid Hack). It’s visually stunning as the camera weaves through the frozen carnage of the opening scene and laugh-outloud funny with the on screen text. Be sure to stay for the equally funny end credits and post-credit stinger.

I can’t really do the film justice by attempting to review or describe it since it is a very unique creature unto itself. I can say I had a helluva good time watching it, laughing at the comedy, appreciating the breaking of the fourth wall, hanging on to the edge of my seat during the action, and really feeling the emotion of Wade and Vanessa’s relationship.

The hard R rating (for language, violence and brief nudity) may be a turn-off for some moviegoers – and please, please, please do not bring young children to this movie – and fans of the comics may have minor issues with the film, but overall Deadpool totally achieves what it set out to do, and audiences should be very happy with the results. t

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quality of life

dining out

retrieving nets in the water and they became faithful companions to the fisherman. Although these dogs, as a type, became extinct in the early 1980s, it was these dogs that became the foundation of today’s Labrador Retriever.

The Saint John’s water dog was the popular right hand man of the Newfoundland fisherman. The prized dog, started to be imported Dr. Tony Calo to England in the early 1800s. They were purposefully bred and hunting dogs and shooting companions. Through the work of two avid dog breeders, James Harris and Walter Scott, the Saint John’s water dog became more distinct and were refined in to retrievers. It was in Daisy is Violet’s sister. She was adopted when mid 1800s that the name Labrador Retriever she was three months old. She was brought to was applied to the dog. The Labrador grew in the hospital that I was working at with a broken popularity as a hunting dog and as a companleft elbow. Her owners were going to euthanize ion. The Labrador Retriever became officially her and get a new puppy. They felt that one recognized by the Kennel Club of England in puppy was good as another. They felt a pup- 1903. The breed also grew in popularity across py was a replaceable item rather than a living the pond and was then recognized by the being worthy of love and care and respect. I American Kennel Club in 1917. was smitten by this broken puppy the minute I It was in the 1930s that wealthy Americans saw her. Even though I didn’t think I was in the began to bring the Labrador Retriever into this market for a second dog (I had a brilliant and country from England in earnest. The dog bebeautiful Golden Retriever at the came more popular as both time, named Jacob). One of the sura family dog and as a huntgeons at the practice said that they ing dog. The breed started would fix her elbow if I would give to diverge into two sub-types her a home. She had surgery the along these lines. The family day I met her. I took her home a few Labrador Retriever became days later. Daisy lived in a cast and the archetype of the English in a cage for the first eight weeks or show-bred lines. These that I had her. She healed with no dogs are shorter, stockier, complications. She became a fully and have an “otter tail”. They functional dog. She also became an are generally calmer comincredibly amazing and loving fami- Dreaming of the pared to the American or ly member. She has been with me sea and the hunt working–bred Labrador Refor ten years and in that time, she trievers. These dogs tend to has provided constant love and support. She be taller, thinner, and more high-strung. This is happy; she is funny; she is loyal; and she is the line that Daisy more resembles. She is has made herself mine. tall, lean, and agile. She is also excitable and Unlike Violet, no one ever asked us what ready to go at any given moment. breed Daisy is. She is a Labrador Retriever Whether Labrador Retrievers are English through and through. Labrador Retrievers are or American, they share the qualities of being ubiquitous. They are recognized by everyone. incredibly smart, loyal, dependable, and hard According to the American Kennel Club, they working. In addition to this, they are fun-loving have been most the most popular breed in and seek the friendship of humans. This has the U.S. for the past 24 years. They are also led the breed’s popularity as a companion. It the most popular breed in Canada, the United has led to Labrador being used as not only a Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and Isra- hunting dog, but also for many other work enel. So where did this breed come from? The deavor’s including seeing-eye dogs, therapy obvious answer would seem Labrador, which dogs, bomb sniffing dogs, and as water resis a mainland province of Canada. The actual cue dogs. answer is Newfoundland. Newfoundland is an Daisy comes from a long history of island off of the coast of Labrador. The island hard-working, intelligent, dependable, and was colonized at various times throughout his- fun-loving dogs. She has been a bright and tory. When the Europeans settled that Island beautiful light in my life. She has also been into fish off of its coast, they brought dogs with strumental in making Violet such a good girl. them. The dogs were chosen for being com- Violet had a wonderful example of how to be pact, strong, and with short oily coats so that a good dog thanks to Daisy. As the Labrador they could withstand the cold weather and Retriever has been a foundation for society, the cold water. These dogs eventually be- Daisy has been a foundation for this family. t came known as the Saint John’s water dog.

E-mail questions to violetsvet@baltimoreThe Saint John’s water dog became adept at outloud.com

Violet’s Vet

Meet My Sister, Daisy

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before my night was over.

I started out with (what I thought would be) a basic wedge salad ($14). Boy was I wrong. The crisp iceberg was topped with thick pieces of tender, smoky bacon, ripe tomatoes and a delicious blue-cheese/buttermilk dressing. It was both refreshing and satisfying. I topped my salad with freshly ground pepper and each bite seemed to bite The Nickel Taphouse back. The earthy combination of bacon, blue 1604 Kelly Avenue, Baltimore cheese, and pepper was amazing.

443-869-6240 For my entree I selected the Beef on Weck ($14) with a side of House French Fries ($6.50). The sandwich was served as I would

By Nick Fuhr Though it was a brisk winter night, I was in expect. The beef was appropriately rare and the mood for a cold beer. Plus, I was hungry. thinly sliced. It was served on a tender, traI ran down the mental list of usual haunts, ditional kummelweck roll with horseradish on made a selection and headed out the door. I the side. Though the meat was tender and was halfway to my destination when I remem- well flavored, it did have a bit more of the bered the Nickel Taphouse. That is where I occasional tough stringiness you can expect from roast beef. Had I wanted to go! I had sliced the sandwich in only been there one half first, I am convinced other time, but I had that would not have been like the atmosphere a problem, but I was enand beer selection. joying the sandwich too The Nickel Tapmuch to take the time to house is located at do that. the hairpin turning The fries were wonon Kelly Avenue in derful. The golden tenMount Washington. drils of potato were fried Though parking in Comfort food done right enough to cook through that area can be a but not so much to depain, I did not have any trouble this night. But had the streets stroy the firm flesh. They were well seasoned, been full, no worries, Nickel offers valet ser- not greasy and enough for two people. So of vices. Once inside it all came back to me. The course, I finished them all.

The menu at the Nickel Taphouse is full of main dining space has a bank of windows out to Kelly Avenue on one side and a long bar on options and very diverse. There is a wonderthe other. The eye doesn’t know where to go ful selection of salads, including a Beet and first. The space is dimly lit, full of wood table- Kale ($15); snacks like Deviled Eggs & Jam tops, exposed brick walls and hanging light ($6.50); and spreads, such as the Bacon-Pimento Cheese ($8). You will find a selection fixture with trendy Edison bulbs.

I was seated at a window seat with a of raw seafood options both traditional, like long bench that allows tables to be shifted the market priced oysters or nontraditional, as required to accommodate varied party like the Salmon Tartare ($13.30). A pound of sizes. This arrangement led to my one com- mussels will run you $19. You can have them plaint (and not really a big one): I felt like I classically prepared, have them curry flawas on top of the parties to either side of me vored, prepared Provençale or steamed with as I could hear everything they were talking Natty Boh. Nice.

Entre selections range from the easiabout. But since I was alone, I eavesdropped ly identifiable Shepherd’s Pie ($19.50) and and quietly judged them. I had fun.

First I set out to select a beer. The avail- Grilled Salmon ($23) to the more obscure ability is extensive. Whether you’re a con- Vegetable Tagine ($19.50) and Soba Noodle noisseur or just an adventurer, I think you & Tofu ($19.50). They also have an interestwill find a beer you enjoy. With some help ing Burger & Sandwiches menu selection. I from the server, I selected CA Stone Vertical encourage you to visit their website for addiEpic 08.08.08 ($8.50) from the aptly named, tional information.

If you are looking for good food but want Jack Frost Nipping at your Nose section of the beer list. It was a Belgian style IPA with more than your traditional bar menu and an alcohol content on the higher side. It was don’t want to give up the easygoing, energolden with a thick and creamy white head of getic atmosphere of your local barroom, go foam. I enjoyed the hoppy flavor with notes to the Nickel Taphouse. The staff is friendof fruit. It was dry with a pleasant bitterness ly, the service is good and the beer menu is at the end. It was refreshing and I had two amazing. t

Fuhr

the Love of Food

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Real Estate

The Great Winter Myth

By Wayne Curtis of buyers viewing your property; we still Has someone you consider an expert ever have a lack of inventory and can find the told you that no real estate sells in the first buyer that loves your home. quarter of the year? You know, the advice Why is the winter myth given so much from the “expert” that says that you might credence? It’s really just a matter of sheer as well wait until numbers: in the “Usually wintertime is not spring, there are April, in a normal winter, to list your the time of year that new lots of new buyers house because it coming out of their price highs are set for a will just sit, cold winter slumber and and neglected, un- neighborhood. The fact that a lot of home owntil the springtime ers who want to there are fewer buyers and show off their home sun melts the snow and warms the real less demand in winter will amidst blooming estate market. BalThere’s a affect the way that value is tulips. derdash! lot of looking going This January measured. But a home that on. But the buyers was a busy month who are out in the is in good condition and for real estate in snows of January the Baltimore repriced within the range of and February are gion. With the excommitted previous sales will have no truly ception of the three buyers. They arproblem.” or four days that en’t just looking for things were shut something to do down for the blizzard, there was a lot of on a pretty spring afternoon. If you have showing and selling going on. If you need- a home on the market in the winter, if it ed to sell your home and didn’t really want shows well and is priced fairly, then you to wait until April, you could have had a lot will have serious buyers make appoint-

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ments and come see your property. And you will find a buyer.

The biggest challenge comes with the “priced fairly” part of that last paragraph.

Usually wintertime is not the time of year that new price highs are set for a neighborhood. The fact that there are fewer buyers and less demand in winter will affect the way that value is measured.

But a home that is in good

condition and priced within the range of previous sales will have no problem.

So, don’t be deterred from listing in winter if you need to sell a home.

There are still lots of good things that can come in snow shoes. t Wayne Curtis is a licensed realtor practicing in the Baltimore region since 1998. Find out more at Charmcityrealestate.com

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Leather

Line

Rodney Burger

Meet Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Now that the big snow storm is over and driving is no longer an adventure, I headed from Baltimore down to Hyattsville, Maryland, to interview Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Eli Onyx. Not being familiar with the area, I suggested that Eli pick a meeting place. He selected Busboys and Poets located in Hyattsville’s revitalized arts district. This restaurant / coffeehouse was packed on a Friday afternoon when Eli arrived in full leather for our lunch date. It was quite obvious that Eli does not just transform himself into a leather titleholder when there is a leather event. He is comfortable in his skins. He said that he often wears his leather

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and sometimes even has a whip on his hip in public. “My leather is a part of me. I’m not trying to fit in,” he said smiling.

Born in New York’s Harlem neighborhood and raised in Charleston, South Carolina, Eli came to Maryland when his military career assigned him to Bethesda Medical Center.

He always knew that he was different but says, “I didn’t know I was kinky. I just thought I was abnormal.” One day while visiting the now defunct Lambda Raising bookstore, when he couldn’t squeeze past the crowds at the magazine racks, he discovered a book filled with the art of Tom of Finland. His research revealed that there were names for his fetishes and that there were likeminded people. He wasn’t alone.

At a later date while driving around D.C.’s Logan Circle on the way to the Fireplace Bar on P Street, he saw an unbelievable sight. There was a large flow of men in full leather coming out of a hotel. In disbelief he circled several times before parking and walking into the hotel lobby. His eyes could not take in all the stimulation. He had discovered Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend.

He also met some guys that night who were members of a leather club and they invited him to a cocktail party in one of the hotel rooms. The party was huge and overflowed out into the hallway. Those Onyx

FEBRUARY 19, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Eli Onyx

guys know how to throw a party. Eli joined Onyx three years ago and is also an associate member of COMMAND, MC. In November of 2015 Eli ran for the title of Mr. Maryland Leather 2016. Eli wanted to be Mr. Maryland Leather ever since he met one of the titleholders while riding on the D.C. Eagle float in the D.C. Pride Parade.

It was not his first time as a contestant in a leather contest. He had competed for Mr. Maryland Leather in 2014 and was selected first runner-up to Mr. D.C. Eagle 2015.

When he announced on social media that he was going to enter the Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Contest, he was criticized by one of his friend’s for being a sash chaser, one who just enters contest after contest. For Eli it was not about doing something for himself.

It was about doing something for the leather community as well as representing people of color. Eli said, “I wanted to make sure that men of color could look up at the stage and see that there was a place for them in the contest. Being a titleholder is not just about you. It is about your community.”

When asked if he had any advice for someone who wanted to compete for a leather title Eli said, “Get with someone who has a title and let them groom you. Don’t just jump on stage.” Not long ago one of his club brothers didn’t tell anyone he was running for a title and just tried to do it himself. “He would have scored much better and would have made fewer mistakes if he would have only asked someone to mentor him.”

In May Eli will be hitting the stage in Chicago at the biggest leather contest of them all, International Mr. Leather. It will not be his first time in the Windy City. Not only has Eli attended IML twice before, but both times he went as a volunteer. This gave him a chance

to see the legwork and ground work that goes on behind the scenes of the largest leather contest. He has already met some of his fellow IML 2016 contestants. “What many people do not realize is that competing in a contest is a way to make new friends as a strong brotherhood develops between the contestants,” he added.

Eli’s face lit up as I mentioned how much I enjoyed his fundraiser at Grand Central on Sunday, January 31st. He was very happy with the turnout and the large number of representatives from area leather clubs. He was a little worried about how successful the event would be when he had to postpone it a week due to the snow. It was a big success and raised $1,031 for the HIV Smart Campaign. Next he would like to do an event in Baltimore to help homeless people transition into work. He would like to collect suits and offer haircuts. He is also learning sign language and would like to do an event with the deaf leather community. Eli is excited that being Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 opens doors and gives him a platform to help others.

It became clear that having the title changed his life immediately when he saw how many Facebook friend request he started getting and how many people both young and old started messaging him with questions about leather and the lifestyle. And for Eli leather is very much a lifestyle. He is currently involved in a polyamorous relationship with both a boyfriend who is not necessarily a leather person but is a kinkster and a slave who spends much of his time with him. Eli says that, “Social media can be a two-edged sword. We do have to be somewhat politically correct.” He has listened to his mentors to help find that middle ground.

He adds once again that, “Being a leather titleholder is not just about you. It is about your community.” As I look across the table at this smiling man in full leather I know that he is not going to let my community down. t

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