Baltimore OUTloud • May 13, 2016

OUT

AN INDEPENDENT VOICE FOR THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER COMMUNITIES

Demetrius Mallisham, Mayor’s LGBT Community Liaison, Dies at 46

By Bill Redmond-Palmer On the morning of April 28th, 2016, Demetrius Mallisham, well known throughout Baltimore as the mayor’s LGBT community liaison, passed away at the age of 46.

Mallisham’s death has been attributed to multiple organ failure associated with pancreatitis. He had been hospitalized at Johns Hopkins University Hospital since early April and underwent at least five surgeries that were ultimately unsuccessful.

He began working for the administration of former Mayor Sheila Dixon in January, 2009 as part of the Mayor’s Office of Neighborhoods, where he served as a liaison to communities in North and Northeast Baltimore. Later LGBT Community Liaison was added to his portfolio. He continued his work under the administration of Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, and continued to gain a great deal of respect and affection

Guest performer Cheyenne Jackson

credit: Karl Simone

May 13, 2016 | Volume XIV, Issue 1

from his colleagues.

“Demetrius has always been not just a great co-worker but an awesome friend,” said Sheila Wyche, administrative assistant of government affairs in the mayor’s office. “I will miss his distinctive laughter and abundant compassion for others. I admire his passion, commitment, and loyalty to his work as neighborhood liaison. It has been an honor and a gift from God to meet and experience Demetrius and he will always remain in my heart and spirit.”

That respect clearly extended to his boss, the mayor. “Demetrius was an excellent and thoughtful facilitator who refused to turn a blind eye to indifference,” said Mayor Rawlings-Blake. “He was passion-

ate about growing the relationship Baltimore mayoral between the LGBTQ community and LGBT liaison the public. He worked closely with the Demetrius LGBTQ community and city leaders Mallisham to build an alliance, breaking barriers to increase awareness and tolerance in the city. His presence in the mayor’s office was invigorating and he will be missed.”

In 2014 he received the Center for Black Equity Baltimore’s Chairman’s Award.

At the time, Carlton Smith, a founder and president of Baltimore Black Pride and the Center for Black Equity Baltimore, was quoted in the Washington Blade as saying that “Demetrius is an activist, a fighter, and a champion in the community who dares to care for us all by giving his unconditional love….” the family to the Baltimore-Washington reMallisham was born on September 4th, gion.

1969 in Newark, New Jersey, to parents He graduated from high school in AlLincoln Joe and Helen Irene Trawick Mall- exandria, Virginia, where he played varsiisham. Raised in a military family, he lived ty football, sang in the annual Talent Hunt in several places. His father’s military as- contest, and was a member of the Internasignment to Fort Belvoir, Virginia, brought —continued on page 7

By Frankie Kujawa The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, D.C. (GMCW), is adding a little Latin flair to Washington society this month in celebration of its spring gala on Saturday, May 14 th at the Mayflower Hotel. Entitled “Havana Nights,” the Cuban-themed affair is GMCW’s annual black-tie fundraiser.

Hosted by NBC4-TV’s Wendy Reiger, patrons will also enjoy the music of special guest performer Cheyenne Jackson.

“I’ll be doing a few songs that I love,” Jackson explained. “Those songs are definitely going to be great for the evening. We even have surprise collaboration in store, as well.” Jackson, best known for his leading roles in Broadway musicals, most recently garnered crit-

ical acclaim for his role of Will Drake on FX’s American Horror Story: Hotel.

He added, “Music, in particular, was key to my sanity growing up. I grew up in a very Christian, rural small town and having an outlet of music and arts was so important, as well as to have something that was just mine.”

Jackson lauded the GMCW for their continuing support of outreach programs for LGBT youth through the arts. “LBGT outreach has always been important to me. I belonged to a gay youth group in Spokane, Washington. When I first came out at 19, the fellowship and

Worked under two mayors

‘Havana Nights’ with D.C. Gay Men’s Chorus May 14th

friendship I gained there was invaluable.”

GMCW’s executive director, Chase Maggiano, also conveyed his excitement about this year’s gala. “Cheyenne is a talented, handsome and personable musician. So his performance will bring the spring affair to another level,” Maggiano added. “We’ve also received a generous gift of Hamilton tickets for a Saturday evening performance in October. We will be auctioning off these coveted seats.”

—continued on page 7

New Odefsey® is now available

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OdefseyB_BaltimoreOUTloud_9-875x9-6.indd 1-2 BALTIMORE OUTLOUD MAY 13, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

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Brief Summary of Patient Information about ODEFSEY ODEFSEY (oh-DEF-see) (emtricitabine, rilpivirine and tenofovir alafenamide) tablets Important: Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY. There may be new information about ODEFSEY. This information is only a summary and does not take the place of talking with your healthcare provider about your medical condition or treatment.

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What is ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY is a prescription medicine that is used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older: • who have not received HIV-1 medicines in the past and have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL, or • to replace their current HIV-1 medicines in people who have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have a viral load that is less than 50 copies/mL, and have never failed past HIV-1 treatment.

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When used to treat HIV-1 infection, ODEFSEY may help: • Reduce the amount of HIV-1 in your blood. This is called “viral load”.

• Increase the number of CD4+ (T) cells in your blood that help fight off other infections.

Reducing the amount of HIV-1 and increasing the CD4+ (T) cells in your blood may help improve your immune system. This may reduce your risk of death or getting infections that can happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections).

ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. You must keep taking HIV-1 medicines to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses.

Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others. Do not share or re-use needles, injection equipment, or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them. Do not have sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.

Who should not take ODEFSEY? Do not take ODEFSEY if you also take a medicine that contains: • carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®) • dexamethasone (Ozurdex®, Maxidex®, Decadron®, BaycadronTM) • dexlansoprazole (Dexilant ®) • esomeprazole (Nexium®, Vimovo®) • lansoprazole (Prevacid®) • omeprazole (Prilosec®, Zegerid®) • oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®) • pantoprazole sodium (Protonix®) • phenobarbital (Luminal®) • phenytoin (Dilantin®, Dilantin-125®, Phenytek®) • rabeprazole (Aciphex®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater ®, Rimactane®) • rifapentine (Priftin®) • the herb St. John’s wort or a product that contains St. John’s wort

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking ODEFSEY? Before taking ODEFSEY, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have liver problems including hepatitis B or C virus infection • have kidney and bone problems • have had depression or suicidal thoughts • have any other medical conditions • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if ODEFSEY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking ODEFSEY.

Pregnancy registry: there is a pregnancy registry for women who take HIV-1 medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk with your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry.

• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take ODEFSEY. – You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

– At least one of the medicines in ODEFSEY can pass to your baby in your breast milk.

It is not known if the other medicines in ODEFSEY can pass into your breast milk.

– Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

Some medicines may interact with ODEFSEY. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine.

• You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with ODEFSEY. • Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take ODEFSEY with other medicines.

How should I take ODEFSEY? • Take ODEFSEY exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to take it. ODEFSEY is

taken by itself (not with other HIV-1 medicines) to treat HIV-1 infection.

• Take ODEFSEY 1 time each day with a meal.

• Do not change your dose or stop taking ODEFSEY without first talking with your

healthcare provider. Stay under a healthcare provider’s care when taking ODEFSEY.

• Do not miss a dose of ODEFSEY. • If you take too much ODEFSEY, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest

hospital emergency room right away.

• When your ODEFSEY supply starts to run low, get more from your healthcare provider

or pharmacy. This is very important because the amount of virus in your blood may increase if the medicine is stopped for even a short time. The virus may develop resistance to ODEFSEY and become harder to treat.

What are the possible side effects of ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects, including: • See “What is the most important information I should know about ODEFSEY?” • Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. Skin rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Rash can be serious. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get a rash. In some cases, rash and allergic reaction may need to be treated in a hospital.

If you get a rash with any of the following symptoms, stop taking ODEFSEY and call your healthcare provider right away: – fever – skin blisters – mouth sores – redness or swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis) – swelling of the face, lips, mouth or throat – trouble breathing or swallowing – pain on the right side of the stomach (abdominal) area – dark “tea-colored” urine

• Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have

any of the following symptoms: – feel sad or hopeless – feel anxious or restless – have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself • Change in liver enzymes. People with a history of hepatitis B or C virus infection or who have certain liver enzyme changes may have an increased risk of developing new or worsening liver problems during treatment with ODEFSEY. Liver problems can also happen during treatment with ODEFSEY in people without a history of liver disease. Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with ODEFSEY. • Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicine. These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine.

• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking ODEFSEY. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking ODEFSEY if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Bone problems can happen in some people who take ODEFSEY. Bone problems may include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones.

The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble sleeping (insomnia), and headache.

The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in ODEFSEY, is nausea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

• These are not all the possible side effects of ODEFSEY. For more information, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist.

• Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about ODEFSEY. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about ODEFSEY that is written for health professionals.

For more information, call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.ODEFSEY.com.

Keep ODEFSEY and all medicines out of reach of children.

Issued: March 2016

ODEFSEY, the ODEFSEY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and GSI are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other trademarks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. © 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. ODEC0005 03/16

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news // LOCAL Demetrius Mallisham, Dies at 46 – continued from page 1 tional Thespian Society. He later studied at Radford University in Radford, Virginia, where he received a bachelor of science degree in criminal justice in 1993.

After graduating, he served as a positive role model in his job as a camp counselor at the New Dominion Wilderness Program camp for boys in Cumberland, Maryland, and then as a counselor at the United Methodist Children’s Home in Randallstown, Maryland. Other jobs he held prior to beginning his work at Baltimore’s City Hall included providing services to low-income families at the Annapolis Family Support Center and working as a gang prevention counselor with the Latin American Youth Program in Prince George’s County.

He spoke Spanish and Russian and, according to his Facebook profile, “Spanglish,” all of which he used to make people feel comfortable. “Demetrius loved family and people from all walks of life,” said his mother, Irene Mallisham. “He never met a stranger because he would be the first to engage in a conversation with them, regardless of the language barriers.”

“Demetrius loved life and loved people, without discrimination,” said his friend Alfredo Santiago of the IRIS Latino LGBT Community. “Where Demetrius was, there was laughter. If there was a need, Demetrius made it his business to find a solution. If you were down, Demetrius lifted you up.”

Several friends and family members cited his love of music and his particular partiality to music divas, especially Madonna. “He played piano, danced, loved karaoke, and jumped at the opportunity to sing at any microphone,” said his brother, Marquez Mallisham. His love of music is reflected in what is listed as one of his

favorite quotes on his Facebook profile: “When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything” – a line from the musical The Sound of Music. “Madonna and Shakira were two of his favorites to dance to, and dance he would,” shared Santiago.

“Where he stood was his stage. I will miss him but, I don’t want to be selfish. In heaven, they all need Demetrius to show them how to strike a pose and shake it Shakira style!”

Mallisham’s homegoing celebration was held at a packed and overflowing New Waverly United Methodist Church on May 5th, 2016. The celebration began with a long, loud, and well deserved standing ovation for his life and work, and included many remembrances and testimonials to his good works and life, with a repeated emphasis on his infectious smile, approachability, and his ability to connect with people.

After surveying the hundreds of people present to celebrate Mallisham’s life, the officiating pastor, Rev. Kevin H. Stayton Jr., suggested that based on the diversity of faiths, genders, races, orientations and ages it looked like “the United Nations.”

Those sharing remembrances included his brother, Marquez, college classmates, friends, a former student as well as current Mayor Rawlings-Blake and former Mayor Dixon. Other state and local dignitaries in attendance included Del. Mary Washington; City Council President Jack Young; States Attorney Marilyn Mosby; Comptroller Joan Pratt; City Council Members Mary Pat Clarke, Eric Costello, Bill Henry, Nick Mosby, and Carl Stokes; together with several dozen colleagues from the mayor’s office.

“He made the bad times good, and the good time better,” said Mayor Rawlings-Blake, as she struggled to hold back tears. “We are all better because he was in our lives.”

Mallisham was interred at Woodlawn Cemetery. He is survived by his father, mother, brother, two nephews, and a niece. The family has requested that charitable donations be made to the Pancreatitis Center at Johns Hopkins Hospital. To make direct contributions, visit: Hopkinsmedicine.org/gastroenterology_hepatology/specialty_centers/pancreatitis_center/ charitable_giving.html. Checks can be sent directly to: Stephanie Cohen, Fund for Johns Hopkins Medicine, 5200 Eastern Avenue, MFL Center Tower, Suite 356, Baltimore, Maryland 21224. Make the check out to the “Johns Hopkins University” and be sure to write “Dr. Vik Singh’s Pancreatitis Research” on the memo line.

“The overwhelming outpouring of love and fond memories on behalf of Demetrius is evidence of how cherished he was to our community,” said Jabari Lyles, president of the GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland. “None of us will ever forget his infectious smile and upbeat approach to his work. His position and service to our city was important, and he will truly be missed.” t Bill Redmond-Palmer is a longtime community advocate for HIV/AIDS, interfaith, and queer-related issues.

‘Havana Nights’ with D.C. Gay Men’s Chorus May 14th – continued from page 1 Maggiano, who announced earlier this year that he would be stepping down as GMCW’s executive director, added that this gala is a continuing celebration of the GMCW’s 35th anniversary. “We’re focusing on what GMCW has meant to the community: Why we started, what we’ve done, and what comes next.”

Albeit a bittersweet decision to leave the chorus, Maggiano maintained his unwavering support for the organization. “This chorus is such a unique product in D.C., and I hope everyone realizes how much fun it can be to go to a concert! I also hope the chorus continues looking outward. Martin Luther King said, ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.’ We’ve used our voices for 35 years to build a strong community when others were trying to tear us down. We may have marriage equality, but trans rights, LGBT homelessness, bullying, women’s equality, racism, and religious persecution are still issues. The LGBT chorus movement, like the greater LGBT movement, has an opportunity and responsibility to sing for all who seek equality.” t

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news // LOCAL

FreeState / Equality Maryland: A New Name, A New Vision

A key expectation emphasized by the attendees, was the need to take a broader approach to advocacy by lobbying both state and local governments, as well as institutions and organizations outside of government. Another was the need to address the small issues that impact people’s ability to have “lived” equality, together with the

By Bill Redmond-Palmer Following a long partnership, FreeState big ones.

The final question urged the attendees Legal and Equality Maryland are merging into a single organization, the first of its to consider what would make them proud kind in the United States that will use their of the new organization. The answers combined strengths to better serve Mary- evoked high expectations including the organization becoming a powerful partner land’s LGBT Community.

“By combining FreeState Legal’s team with other groups, being a strident civil of attorneys providing direct legal services rights leader, having an inclusive board with Equality Maryland’s longstanding his- composition, being an organization people tory as the voice and political arm of the can believe in, and feeling like family.

“The merger of FreeState and EQMD LGBTQ community,” said promises to be a great Patrick Paschall, execboon for the LGBTQ comutive director of FreeSmunities of Maryland,” tate Legal and the newly said Moses. “We are hopmerged organization, ing that together they will “we are creating a comcontinue their awesome prehensive LGBTQ civil work fighting discriminarights organization that tion.” will work throughout the The new community state to end prejudice organization will formally and discrimination based announce its new name on sexual orientation and and vision at an event gender identity.” to be called “Achieving As part of the merger Lived Equality: An Event process, they are conCelebrating the Merger ducting a listening tour Patrick Paschall, of FreeState Legal and in eight locations around FreeState Legal Equality Maryland,”to be Maryland to solicit input head held at the Baltimore Muon what the vision and seum of Industry on June priorities should be for 30th, 2016, from 6 to 9 the new organization, including a Baltimore tour stop on May 3rd, 2016. Saida pm. Tickets will be $125 each. For more Agostini of FreeState Legal facilitated the information, visit: Freestatelegal.org.

Those unable to attend a session can event, soliciting the attendee’s highest priority issues and concerns that would allow participate through an online community all LGBT Marylanders to achieve “lived” survey under the heading “Needs Assessment Survey,” at Freestatelegal.org/whatequality.

While many varied legal and civil rights we-do/statewide-listening-tour/. The listenissues were raised, they primarily fell into ing tour and survey end May 15th.

“These listening sessions have been a handful of categories related to addressing the HIV epidemic: transgender rights, eye opening,” said Paschall. “We have housing, and employment issues. Several heard from the community, from the eastissues pointed to the need to continue the ern shore to Western Maryland and from implementation of, and filling in the legal the heart of Baltimore to the suburbs of loopholes in the Freedom for All Maryland- Washington that LGBTQ people across the ers Act (FAMA), which granted legal pro- state continue to experience discrimination tections based on gender identity and gen- in health care, employment, housing, and der expression. One such issue was raised public accommodations, risk losing custoby Merrick Moses of Black Trans Advocacy dy of their children, and face harassment MD/DC, who implored the organizations in schools and foster care. While we have leaders to “work with colleges and univer- seen unbelievable progress in for LGBTQ sities around the state to create LGBTQ in- people in recent years, there is still a lot clusive policies like eliminating restrictions of work to be done for Maryland’s LGBTQ on name changes regarding trans students population, especially low-income LGBTQ people and LGBTQ people of color.” t and alumni.”

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LGBT Caregiver Support Group Starting in June Chase Braxton’s LGBT Caregivers Support Group will be adding a new evening group to start in June. In addition to their Tuesday meetings held from 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. on the second floor conference room they are adding every first Thursday evening, starting June 2nd from 6 to7 p.m., in the first-floor community room.

Facilitated by SAGECAP staff, these groups provide an opportunity to find support and understanding for your unique situation, while meeting other caregivers in the community who are experiencing the same thing.

If you are providing care for a loved one, and either you or the person you care for identifies as LGBT, SAGECAP is here for you. t For more information, contact Kelli Abbott, SAGECAP Community Counselor at 410-837-2050 ext. 1107 or lgbt@chasebrexton.org.

National ‘Honor Our LGBT Elders Day’ on May 17th In recent years, the LGBT community has made significant strides toward broader acceptance and equal rights. This progress would not be possible without the many older LGBT adults who fought for greater freedom, sometimes quietly, other times in the spotlight. There are an estimated three million LGBT adults over the age of 55 throughout the U.S. The contributions of LGBT older adults will be recognized in a multimedia showcase on May 17th, established by The LGBT Health Resource Center of Chase Brexton Health Care as National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day. National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day provides an opportunity to acknowledge the important contributions of these individuals.

It has been officially added to the National Day registry through the efforts of The LGBT Health Resource Center of Chase Brexton Health Care.

“Whether through everyday authenticity or outright activism, LGBT elders have

helped improve the lives of all LGBT people,” said Nate Sweeney, executive director of the LGBT Health Resource Center. “We are thrilled to be able have this day to celebrate and thank LGBT elders for all their contributions to the community.”

Digital stories of LGBT community elders, captured by University of Maryland, Baltimore County students will be screened.

Additionally, portraits of two local elders will be added to “To Survive On This Shore,” a national transgender and gender-variant older adult art exhibit currently installed at Chase Brexton. A special ceremony to commemorate the first National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day is also planned. t

New Wave Singers Concertize: May 21st and 22nd The New Wave Singers of Baltimore, Maryland’s premier LGBT mixed chorus, is rounding out their 30th anniversary season with two performances of the spring concert, “A Tapestry of Song.” Artistic Director Adam P. Koch has selected an uplifting range of choral works, including the world premiere of a new song based on the poem “A Dream,” by Edgar Allen Poe (music by Michael T. Clark), a merry Celtic “RiverSong,” and an audience favorite, “The Awakening,” which was the highlight of New Wave’s April performance during the Tiffany Concert Series.

The first performance will be held at 7

p.m. on Saturday, May 21st at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church (1900 St. Paul Street, Baltimore). The second performance is at 4 p.m. on Sunday, May 22nd at Grace United Methodist Church (5407 North Charles Street, Baltimore). Tickets are $20, and are available online at Newwavesingers.org, from members of the chorus, or at the door. Students in GSAs, GLSEN, and persons 17 years and under are welcome for free. A light reception follows each performance. t Newwavesingers.org has more info.

beyond the beltway compiled by Jim Becker

Gay rights activists hacked to death in Bangladesh Dhaka, Bangladesh – Human Rights Watch has called on Bangladeshi authorities to immediately investigate the killings of two LGBT human rights activists. Police found Xulhaz Mannan and Tonoy Mahbub hacked to death in a Dhaka apartment on the evening of April 25th, 2016. The killings follow a spate of recent targeted attacks on writers, educators, bloggers, and editors who promote liberal and secular ideas that radical groups believe are against Islam.

The killings of Mannan and Mahbub brings to nine the number of liberals hacked to Xulhaz Manna

death in Bangladesh in 2016.

“The slaughter of two men advocating the basic rights of Bangladesh’s beleaguered LGBT community should prompt a thorough investigation, aimed at prosecuting those responsible,” said Meenakshi Ganguly, South Asia director at Human Rights Watch. “The government needs to protect activists and to call a halt to the impunity that links this chain of vicious murders.” Mannan was an editor of Roopban, Bangladesh’s first LGBT-themed magazine, which began publishing in 2014.

He was a visible and openly gay activist who supported and protected LGBT people even in the face of threats against the community. Mahbub was also openly gay.

Bangladesh is a country that still criminalizes same-sex sexual behavior, with a government that says homosexuality

offends religious sentiments. The Bangladeshi home minister told reporters: “As far as we know, Xulhaz was the editor of a magazine named Rupban. And he worked to promote gay rights. This does not fit in our society.” Although the prime minister has promised to take action against the attacks, authorities appointed by her have instead prosecuted bloggers for “hurting people’s religious sentiments.”

“The massacre of two gay men in a private home demonstrates the need for the government to combat extremists preying on minorities,” Ganguly said. “Dismissing sexual orientation as a non-issue effectively sanctions abuse of an already-marginalized community.” (Human Rights Watch at Hrw.org/news/2016/04/26/bangladesh-investigate-lgbt-murders)

law. In North Carolina, the Task Force has been providing leadership training, grassroots organizing and on-the-ground logistical support. Clergy, civil rights leaders, and LGBT advocates have been taking part in actions calling on the legislature and governor to repeal the law. ( National LGBTQ Task Force at Thetaskforce.org/doj-warning-north-carolina-law-that-removes-lgbtqprotections-is-illegal)

Justice Dept. says N.C. antitrans law violates federal law

Durham, N.C. – Ad Agency McKinney, based in Durham, North Carolina, has put HB2 where it belongs: on rolls of toilet paper. They mailed the rolls to various media outlets and put out a video to accompany it. The video encourages viewers to go to StopHB2.org, which is now TurnOut NC’s site Turnoutnc.org.

The video says, “In just a few short minutes, you can read the bill that landed Pearl Jam and Bruce Springsteen concerts here (shot of toilet). Along with Google Ventures money for startups, 400 jobs at PayPal and another 250 at Deutsche Bank. Join our roll call, and help repeal the bill that could cost the state $4.5 billion in federal funding. Put HB2 where it belongs. (Shot of toilet with HB2 toilet paper roll being flushed down it, with the text “The longer we live with HB2, the more we lose.”

McKinney CEO Brad Brinegar signed a letter, along with over 100 other CEOs, calling for the repeal of HB2. He also appeared on CNN Money to discuss why he is against the discriminatory bill. (Q-Notes Online – Jeff Taylor at Qnotes.com)

Washington, D.C. – The U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) has warned North Carolina that significant aspects of House Bill 2 (HB2) violate federal civil rights law.

They have asked Governor Pat McCrory to respond by Monday. Non-compliance with federal law could lead to North Carolina losing hundreds of millions of dollars of federal funding. The latest DOJ action comes on the heels of the Fourth Circuit’s decision that denying restroom access to trans students is sex discrimination under Title IX of the Civil Rights Act. “Discrimination against the trans community is illegal sex discrimination under federal law. We are delighted that the DOJ is acting to enforce existing laws to help eliminate portions of the now notorious HB2. Of course this action does not undo all the damage that HB2 inflicts on people’s lives. We urge the North Carolina legislature to repeal HB2 immediately and to replace it with a comprehensive non-discrimination law that strengthens freedom, justice and equality for all North Carolinians, said Victoria Rodríguez-Roldán, who works on gender issues for the National LGBTQ Task Force, in a press release.

Activists have been working with North Carolina faith leaders and LGBTQ advocates in an effort to repeal the anti-LGBTQ

North Carolina ad agency prints anti-trans law on toilet paper

Alabama chief judge suspended Montgomery, Alabama – Alabama’s Homophobe state Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, has been suspended for refusing to acknowledge the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling last summer recognizing marriage equality nationwide. The Alabama Judicial Inquiry Commission, in a filing released, May 6th, wrote, “Chief Justice Moore flagrantly disregarded and

abused his authority as the chief administrative officer of Alabama’s judicial branch. The ruling is a result of complaints filed by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

As reported by the Washington Post, Moore faces Justice six charges of violatRoy Moore ing judicial ethics, all stemming for his January 6th order telling state probate judges – the ones who issue marriage licenses in Alabama – that they have a “ministerial duty” to abide by state law (even though a federal Supreme Court ruling overrides state law) limiting marriage to opposite-sex cases. The commission ruled that Moore’s order violated not only the June, 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges ruling, but two other court decisions as well.

As a result of the ruling, Moore is automatically suspended from the bench. The state Court of the Judiciary will ultimately decide whether Moore is guilty of violating judicial ethics.

Moore was removed from his seat as state Supreme Court chief justice in 2003 after refusing a federal court order to remove a Ten Commandments monument he had erected in the state judicial building in Montgomery. But the people of Alabama re-elected him in 2012.

Moore accused the Judicial Inquiry Commission of being influenced by LGBT rights advocates, saying “The JIC has chosen to listen to people like Ambrosia Starling, a professed transvestite, and other gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals, as well as organizations which support their agenda. We intend to fight this agenda vigorously and expect to prevail.” t (Dallas Voice – Tammye Nash at Dallasvoice.com)

These news notes have been compiled, with permission, from the online version of various newspapers and other web sites. We thank these publications for allowing us to bring you their news stories. Usually the reports have been significantly edited and you can read the full story by going to the web site mentioned following the item. Comments are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker and not of Baltimore OUTloud or Pride Media.

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thinking outloud

Pointing it Out

By Sage Piper

A Beautiful Life: Demetrius Mallishame A bitter, cold Monday evening in Baltimore this past February – the kind of night when if you had an event on the calendar, you searched for the smallest possible excuse to skip it and just head homeward. I was on the brink of just such a decision when a last gasp burst of energy prompted me to head down instead to my planned destination, the GLCCB Center on Cathedral Street.

I was going to hear a presentation by Terri Baum, the actress/playwright who was in town for her one-woman show at the Baltimore Theatre Project. The play centered

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on the life of reporter Lorena Hickok, who was involved in a long love affair with Eleanor Roosevelt, beginning shortly before FDR’s first presidential term in 1942.

The subject was a fascinating one to me, and I expected a healthy crowd, even on a Monday night. When I arrived however, I found that along with Ms. Baum and the center’s director, the only other person in the room lined with chairs was an African-American man with twinkling eyes and an affable manner. We waited quietly for a while, until it was obvious to one and all that, crowdwise, this was it. We proceeded to be privy to an incredibly enjoyable slide show presentation, learning some wonderful details about Eleanor Roosevelt’s lusty letters and “secret” life – all for an audience of two.

Demetrius Mallisham and me.

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If you knew Demetrius even a little bit, you probably know what I am going to say next and you’re probably smiling. That’s right, after just a short time together, we were good pals.

We laughed and made funny side comments, marveling on how the lid on such a walloping juicy story had been kept on all these years. When details emerged about Hickok’s doomed moves to resurrect the romance once Eleanor’s feelings had turned, we grimaced in recognition. Demetrius told me about following a lost love over hill and dale, and we bonded over the crazy, desperate things you do for love. Even in the throes of cynical humor, he exuded an optimism I remember wishing I could feel. Yes, he had been through the romantic wars, but he was still kicking his heels up and dancing all the way, and what the hell – the best was still out there, yet to come. We found that we had a lot in common work-wise, and we exchanged cards and vowed to get together.

He was optimistic that he could convince the mayor to come to the show the next weekend. I mentioned we could go to a new lesbian-owned restaurant in Mount Vernon, and he was enthusiastic. We hugged goodbye. I walked away feeling buoyed, thinking it had been the best cold dreary Monday night ever. And I thought, with such assurance, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

As I sat at the funeral celebration for Demetrius last week, I knew that the good feeling I had spending time with him had been experienced a hundred and a thousand times over by everyone in those packed pews. People rose to speak in succession, the love and feeling of raw and wholehearted joy that they had been blessed with years or decades of “beautiful friendship” with Demetrius came shining through. Indeed, it seems there wasn’t a friendship he had that wasn’t beautiful. The pastor remarked that the assembled crowd looked “like a gathering of the U.N.” and it was true; people of all colors, nationalities, and ages were there, a testament to his reach – in turns crying and laughing out Demetrius Mallishame

loud during the two-hour service.

Yes, laughing out loud. Because no matter how heartbroken each speaker was, as he or she began to talk about “D” some hilarious story or zany adventure just came spilling out. I learned so many things that bespoke of grace; how he wanted to be able to communicate with everyone, spoke four languages, and gleefully referred to himself as “Mr. International.” How no matter where he worked, he collected lifelong friends along the way, people he had helped and mentored and treated with unequivocal respect. He was described as a “foot soldier whose mission was to make people’s lives better.” His older brother shared that Demetrius taught him how to laugh, and how to be a better person. How his dancing was legendary and how it was known: “D is here, let the party begin.” How his love was unconditional, and how he celebrated everyone else’s achievements as if they were his own. He was called a connector, a bridge builder, and a guiding spirit. Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake was not the only one who spoke of his enthusiastic, open heart and his gift of joy. She recounted that he “never left an event without a newfound friend.” Indeed. She recalled with anguish in her voice that if she was going through an especially hard time she would look to see who was staffing her that day, if it was Demetrius, “I knew it was going to be alright.”

As it turns out, it isn’t going to be alright, not for the countless people who love Demetrius Mallisham. In the incredibly short experience I had with him, he taught me that the way to love life is to venture out into it headlong, with flair, joyful abandon, and with a wide open heart. Even when life is a cold, dark night. He will not be forgotten.

His life mattered. Let us all live that way. t

All that it was, and the limitless promise

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Lively Arts // personalities

Slave to Love

By Gregg Shapiro James Magruder is a busy man. In addition to teaching at Swarthmore College, Magruder’s 21st century output has included his 2009 debut novel Sugarless and the 2014 linked short story collection Let Me See It. His sexy and funny new novel, Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall (Queen’s Ferry Press, 2016), takes readers back to 1983 on the campus of Yale University.

The Helen Hadley Hall of the title is the dormitory that is site of a series of escapades, sexual and social, hilarious and heartbreaking, and all observed and reported by none other than the ghost of Helen Hadley herself. A playwright whose works have been performed on and off-Broadway and around the globe, Magruder was good enough to answer some interview questions after returning to the States following a trip to Italy.

Gregg Shapiro: James, I’d like to begin talking about Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall from the outside in. Your first novel, 2009’s Sugarless had a stick of gum on the cover. Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall has a plate of donuts on the cover.

I’m reading “oral fixation” – am I on the right track?

James Magruder: Good call, Gregg [laughs]. Both books are saturated with sex, although Love Slaves covers more bases and more orientations. The stick of gum in Sugarless was metaphorical, while the doughnuts are a major plot point in Love Slaves. The fabulous painter Lori Larusso, whom I met at (artists’ colony) MacDowell in 2010, agreed to create the cover. (You can find her work at Lorilarusso.com.) I’m thrilled with what she came up with. Those doughnuts look luscious but are potentially dangerous.

GS: Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall utilizes the device of narration by an “ectoplasmic emanation.” Why did you choose to tell the story in that way?

JM: I think you know that this book took 17 years to write, nearly one-third of my life.

I started it in 1996 before I had any business writing fiction. Over the years I tried several different narrators. Trouble was, no single love slave – and there are five of them in the novel – could possibly be able to narrate all these concurrent plot lines, so eventually I had to rule out first person. On the other hand, an unbiased “historical” third person perspective ran counter to my incurable need to employ as broad a lexicon as possible. Fifteen years in, I had a “Eureka!”

moment at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. What if Helen Hadley herself, 121 years young, who had been on page one all along, in a full-length portrait, told the story?

She’s been watching her grad students (in the Yale dorm that bears her name) since the building went up in 1958.

Because she’s something of a ghost, she can be everywhere at once. She can also be biased about the actions of her favorites. Every now and then in the book, she reveals something of her own past in first person, but a lady to the last, she’s less interested in herself than in her five favorites of 1983-1984.

GS: What do you think Helen Hadley would think of the voice which you gave to her?

JM: An agent who rejected the manuscript way back in 2002 said he couldn’t understand why I would lavish such ornate language on such silly characters. That was, I thought at the time, the whole point.

Nearly ten years later my editor at Wisconsin, which published James Sugarless, said the same thing Magruder in a different way. Once I made Helen the narrator, I had an answer. Miss Hadley has picked up generations of lingo, Victorian to hip-hop – and therefore can, as the occasion calls for it, be arch, bemused, filthy, formal, judgmental, astonished, political, what have you, a cross between Ronald Firbank and Dennis Cooper. Helen trained as a chemist and nothing can make her blush. I think she’s proud of that and proud she’s kept up with decades of slang, critical jargon, and cultural references.

GS: How do you think the Yale community, past and present, will react to the book?

JM: Well, wouldn’t it be wonderful if Love Slaves became a permanent part of Yale literature – joining the ranks of Dink Stover at Yale and Buckley’s God and Man at Yale [laughs]? With one exception, the characters in the book (and there are several dozen) are based on real people I met and knew and studied with or under at Yale in the early ‘80s.

I think anyone who has gone to graduate school can relate to these geniuses who are utter idiots when it comes to love and sex.

This isn’t an exposé, or a roman à clef. I think

An interview with writer James Magruder

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of it as a satirical but ultimately affectionate tribute to a special time in my life and to a weird crossroads in American culture.

GS: Your previous book, 2014’s Let Me See It, spans the 1970s through the 1990s, while Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall focuses on the 1980s. Do you have a favorite decade among these?

JM: My age lines up with the decades, so the 80s were my twenties, which were great until AIDS hit, and I contracted the virus. The 90s were a trial until my immune system recovered. I’ll probably always think of myself as a child of the 70s, but I have to say that I love where I’m at right now. I’ve earned the gray.

GS: The recent passing of Nancy Reagan, who gets named-checked in chapter five, seems to have stirred up all sorts of `80s nostalgia in people. Would you care to comment on Mrs. Reagan and the legacy of her husband?

JM: I believe Helen Hadley, who shares my politics, calls her the “crystal-gazing, gargantuan-headed First Lady.” The Reagans were horrible, mendacious people, and they set this country on a course of venality from which has yet to be corrected. They sowed the seeds for Trump and Cruz and Bachmann and Palin and Carson and Coulter and Limbaugh and that grotesque brisket-necked Mitch McConnell and....

GS: In 1983, it was still possible for someone such as your character Carolann, not to have knowingly met any

queer folks, as she does in the novel. What do you think that says about how times have changed?

JM: Carolann, a suburban wife and mother who is hurled into the Yale French Department at the age of 39, has been shielded so far from the homosexual matrix. Unthinkable today. The more time I spent on this book, the more historical it became. There was no internet, next to no cable TV, Madonna was a brand-new artist.

AIDS, which is discovered to be caused by a virus in the second half of the book, and the activism it unleashed, made gays and lesbians permanently visible.

GS: The religions of characters such as Randall and Becky also figure into the novel.

JM: It was fun to return to the world of Christian fundamentalists, which plays a very strong element in Sugarless, and to have Becky Engelking, a full-gospel Baptist from Iowa, really examine the pros and cons of her faith.

Randall Flinn’s steadfast Catholic faith creates his greatest obstacle, yet becomes his greatest solace. Everyone else just wants to get laid.

GS: Does writing about theater majors, as a theater person yourself, work in your favor or against it?

JM: The ego, self-delusion and bravery required to be a stage artist in this country is perpetual comic gold. I was happy to stripmine my time at the Yale School of Drama, both my three years as a student in harness, and my eleven years as a professor of translation and adaptation, for Love Slaves.

GS: As someone who, being a college professor, spends a lot of on a college campus of the present, please say something about writing a book set on a college campus of the past.

JM: I’m an adjunct at Swarthmore, a Quaker college with utterly brilliant students who are guilty about their privilege. It makes for a great teaching environment. The “Swotties” refer to their school as “The PC Olympics” and fall over themselves, in a sweet way, to be inclusive, progressive, and free of micro-aggressions. The burning question of sexual identity – so 80s, so very much a part of Love Slaves of Helen Hadley Hall – has been replaced by the burning question of gender identity. I do wish I had more patience with it. I’m too much of a grammarian to change “he” and “she” to “they” in a classroom situation. t Visit Baltimoreoutloud.com for the complete interview.

out in the valley

Parenting OUTloud

Rev. Kelly Crenshaw

Thoughts on Mother’s Day Mother’s Day for 2016 has come and gone.

It’s only one day in the life of a family, but to many it has significant meaning. For many years, it was a melancholy day. I wanted babies, but that hadn’t happened.

I know many people who are in that situation. They want to wait until they’re in a stable relationship or maybe it’s a biological problem or they don’t have the money to adopt or whatever the reason. It’s hard to watch other people grow their families when you can’t.

I waited years for my first child and that Mother’s Day was extra special for me. But then, kids started arriving quickly. By the time my second biologically-related baby was born just two years later, I had four others kids at home. This little girl was born on the Thursday before Mother’s Day that year. And, I celebrated, thinking that our little family was complete.

Since then, we’d added over a dozen. Some are still at home; others were adopted as older teens and are now adults, with their own families and lives. We have eight grandchildren, at current count, with one more due to be born this fall. Some we see frequently, others through pictures and video chat. They’ve spread all over the country and are living their own dreams.

As you can imagine, Mother’s Day is quite the adventure in our household each year. And, this year was no different.

One daughter and son-in-law are riding cross-country on their motorcycles to be with us. They didn’t make it for Mother’s Day, but arrived a few days later. Others called or messaged. One of my teenagers wrote a beautiful letter. She’s been particularly difficult lately and wanted me to know how much she appreciates the fact that I stand by her, even when she’s being a roy-

al pain in the neck. One of my sons, who is non-verbal, drew me a lovely picture of a horse, he colored it in rainbows. There were small gifts and handmade cards arriving throughout the day.

We aren’t the typical family when it comes to holidays. I don’t particularly like crowds, so we usually avoid eating out.

We had a barbecue instead, gathering our family around the fire pit in our back yard, where we could talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company.

One of the things that has always bothered me is that we only have two days set aside for honoring our parents: Mother’s Day in May and Father’s Day in June. For many couples, that means that both parents are honored on the same day, which limits the celebration Memories with Mom even more.

This is my second Mother’s Day without my mom. She died 16 months ago after a long battle with cancer and depression. My mother wasn’t always kind to me and certainly didn’t like all of my life decisions. Mother’s Day is bittersweet; I miss my mom, even though there were difficult times with her. But, if nothing else, I learned how not to treat my kids when their opinions differ from mine. I am so thankful I can be that kind of mom to my kids – all of them.

Whether they grew up in my house or someone else’s, they are still my kids.

I love them and cherish the memories I have of each one of them. Whether the

memories are good or bad, they are the experiences that made us the people we are today. Those experiences taught us lessons on how to live our lives and, more importantly, how to love other people.

I know not all of us have had wonderful experiences with our parents. Some have been judged and discarded. Some have been rejected and abused. And, my heart hurts for all who have had to suffer that kind of negative parental experience.

But, we can learn and grow even when the memories are painful. We can see the pain that we went through and we can promise ourselves that we will never allow that kind of rejection and judgment to color our interactions with the kids in our own lives.

So, thanks Mom for showing me what it’s like to be rejected. Thanks for giving me what I needed in order to grow a kinder, more accepting heart. Thanks for making me into the kind of person who doesn’t turn the other way when times get tough. And, thanks for helping me to see how important it is to accept people who are different than I am. How boring life would be if we were all the same.

I can’t say that my relationship with all of my kids is wonderful. Some of them have a hard time establishing a relationship with anyone at all, much less maintaining it. But I’d like to think that they all know that when the chips are down, I’m there for them. I’ll help them pick up the pieces and try to put the puzzle back together again. And, even if they don’t get it right away, as they get older, most of them realize that fact.

So, to my kids, I say, thanks again for a lovely Mother’s Day. I love you all and wish you the very best in lives. And, stay in touch! t Rev. Kelly Crenshaw is the mom of 16 adopted kids, two biological kids, Guardian

of one baby girl and foster mom of dozens. Some are lesbian, some gay, some straight, and some bisexual. Kelly founded a K-12 day school where kids could have a safe, bully-free environment for learning.

She is co-owner of a counselling agency that works with children and their families.

Send your parenting questions to her at pastor.kelly@comcast.net

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out in the valley

Beyond the Ice

Machine L:aura Anderson

Redefining the ‘Definitions’ Here’s the scenario: you have been enlisted to be a member of the restroom police.

(I know – it’s a terrible idea, but please play along.) Your job – evaluate the incoming applications to decide who is admitted to which restroom and grant tickets of entry.

Unfortunately, there are no gender-neutral restrooms available. For this exercise, you write the rules.

1) The first application is from a man who wants to put on a dress so he can go into the ladies’ room and observe. He identifies as male and does not consider himself transgender. Driver’s license ID: MALE. 2) The next applicant is a man who

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is a cross-dresser. He enjoys dressing in women’s clothing but identifies as male.

Although he has made an effort to pass as female, he is obviously male. If we reject his application to use the ladies’ room he will have to use the men’s room, which might pose a threat of bodily harm. Driver’s license ID: MALE. 3) Here is an application from a cross-dresser who identifies as male but who passes as a woman extremely well.

His appearance and mannerisms all express femininity. If we accept his application, we might learn a bit about make-up next to him at the mirror. If we reject his application, he would put himself at risk of bodily harm or worse in the men’s room. Driver’s license ID: MALE. 4) Next is an application from a transwoman (assigned male at birth) who has deeply held feelings of herself as a woman and identifies as such. She has had no surgeries and is not on any female hormones.

Due to life circumstances, she is unable to present as female 24/7. She presents and behaves as female whenever possible.

Driver’s license ID: MALE

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5) This application is from a transwoman who has socially transitioned – she lives and presents as female 24/7. She has had no surgeries and is not on any female hormones. Driver’s license ID: FEMALE. 6) The next application is from a transwoman who is scheduled to have her surgery in six months. She has been on female hormones for several years and lives and presents as female 24/7.

Driver’s license ID: MALE. 7) This application is from a transwoman who has had all her surgeries, has been on female hormones for several years, and lives her life 24/7 fully as a woman. Drivers license ID: FEMALE … (birth certificate: MALE).

8) Next is an application from a transman – a person assigned female at birth but who has fully transitioned to male. The male hormone he is taking has deepened his voice and he has a significant amount of facial hair. He is applying to use the men’s room. Driver’s license ID: FEMALE. 9) This next application is from a person who identifies as gender-queer, somewhere other than male or female on the gender spectrum. Their gender expression might be termed “non-conforming.” This person does not have a driver’s license nor a state-issued ID. 10) Finally we have an application from a 10-year-old trans girl who is in the fifth grade. She socially transitioned when she was five and has been living as a girl ever since. Her transgender status is unknown to her classmates. Her parents fear that if her access to the girls’ room is denied she will be outed to her friends and classmates and, as a result, may be in danger of emotional and even physical harm. ID on school records: FEMALE. Although some religious leaders and state legislators might have us believe otherwise, seldom in the real world are answers simply black or white. As we consider these answers, we must also be aware of the consequences of our decisions. The importance of gender-neutral restrooms in addition to men’s and ladies’ rooms becomes apparent.

So, what did you decide? Hopefully we gave each of the applicants their choice about which restroom to use based upon their own comfort level . . . except, of course, for applicant #1. He’s the real threat!

Note: It might be interesting to talk about your ideas with a friend – maybe a transgender friend if you have one. If you

think you don’t have any trans friends, think again ... you probably do and don’t know it! Would that change any of your decisions? t Laura Anderson is an educator, author, researcher, parent, and granddad. Her years teaching in public school classrooms

Toilet triage!

You be the judge

as male provided the foundation for her more recent role educating future teachers. Living female for the past decade, she has come to appreciate the privileges she once held – both male and cisgender – privileges now replaced with the fulfillment of living as her true self.

out in the valley // brian’s brain

The Ties That Bind

By Brian George Hose Two years ago I became a student at Shepherd University, majoring in social work. I mulled over the decision for years before deciding to go back to school and make a career change. It was a risky decision and one I didn’t make lightly. After all, social workers are notoriously over-worked and under-paid. Additionally, Shepherd has earned a reputation as a top social work program due to its demanding program requirements, which include countless papers, research projects, presentations, and a 600-hour unpaid internship. To put this in perspective, the National Council of Social Work Education requires only 400 internship hours, 200 less than Shepherd. This isn’t a program you can coast through, receiving a passing grade just for showing up to class.

I say this because it’s necessary to understand the demanding and often stressful nature of the program in order to appreciate what I’ll miss most about being a student: The relationships made with the other members of my cohort, a.k.a. the Class of 2016. Being a student in a demanding program is a lot like paying to be hazed. There’s a lot of work and a lot of stress. It’s easy to lose sight of your goal when all you see in front of you are deadlines and more assignments.

Even so, having unique shared experiences tends to encourage relationships as nobody outside the program knows exactly what it’s like to be in your shoes. As we studied together, we grew closer. We learned to trust and rely on each other, becoming what sometimes resembled a family. We got through it together.

Now that we’ve graduated and become full-fledged social workers, those relationships are changing. It’s possible we’ll never be in the same room together again.

It’s also possible we may never see each other in person again. The happiness of graduation is tinged with sadness and the knowledge that things will never quite be the same way again.

In trying to process all the changes happening in my life, I’m reminded of something I learned years ago in a biology class. We were studying atoms, the smallest particles and building blocks of life, and how they bond together to form molecules. For example, two hydrogen atoms bond with an atom of oxygen, forming a single molecule of water (H2O).

What’s most interesting, though, is that the strength and energy of a molecule lies in the bonds shared by its individual atoms.

When our bodies digest food, the energy comes from the breaking of the bonds, not from the food itself.

From this perspective, people are a lot like atoms and molecules.

Our strength and energy often comes from our relationships, our bonds with other people. If each person is an atom, the relationships we enter into and bonds we share with others create a unique “molecule.” If even a single bond is broken, the entire system changes. Take away one hydrogen atom and the water molecule is gone; add an atom of oxygen and water becomes hydrogen peroxide. In each case, the once familiar molecule becomes something different.

What does this mean for me and my cohort? Some of us are moving to other states; one of us is moving to a different country. Will our molecule remain intact? In an age of e-mail and social media, I’d like to think so. Even so, it’s hard for me to imagine that the “molecule” I was part of and have grown to love could quickly become something different.

True bonds cannot be broken by distance. As the old hymn goes, “blessed be the ties that bind.” As I say goodbye to my cohorts and the chapter of our lives we spent together, my heart tells me that I’m looking at this all wrong. Instead of our “molecule” falling apart, we are actually expanding to areas far from our home campus. As we disperse, we take with us all of our cohort’s love and wisdom to share with new people in new places, bringing light and gold into the world. We are not dying; we are regenerating and making something new upon a foundation we built together. t

“People are a lot like atoms and molecules.

Our strength and energy often comes from our relationships, our bonds with others.”

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out in the valley // health

Health Chat

by Liz Thompson

The Heroin Epidemic I was asked to write about the heroin epidemic for this issue. Where to go with that in only 500 words?

I could cite statistics that show how devastating the epidemic has been statewide: seven deaths in Worcester County the first nine months of 2015, ,one death in Garrett County in that same time period, and 189 deaths in Baltimore City.

Some neighborhoods have been decimated. In fact, the only county in Maryland that was spared a heroin overdose death in that time period was Caroline County.

I could discuss the destruction of the

communities where heroin has taken over: how the need to feed the addiction leads people to resort to stealing or sex work to get the money for the next fix; how trying to hide the addiction destroys relationships with friends and families.

I could address the public-health issues: How shooting up with dirty needles spreads diseases such as HIV and hepatitis B and C. But I think most people are already aware that heroin is not good. Not good for the people using it, not good for their families or for the communities in which they live. The question becomes: “What can we do to make things better?”

Do you use heroin? Reach out for help. You are not alone.

Call 410-433-5175, a crisis intervention and referral service available 24/7. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Find someone who has been successful in their recovery and talk with them. It is a long road to recovery but that one phone call can be the first step.

Do you know someone who uses heroin? Are you over 18? Learn about naloxone, also known by its trade name Narcan.

Naloxone is a prescription medication that

What can you do about it?

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reverses overdose from heroin or other opioid medications. It saves lives. It can be given either nasally or as an injection.

Even though you need a prescription to get it, anyone over the age of 18 living in the State of Maryland can take a short training, become certified, and get a prescription for naloxone. The training is offered in person or online. For more information, check out Dontdie.org or call 410-433-5175.

Don’t know anyone who uses heroin?

Learn more about the problem. A good place to start is the State of Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.

On their webpage for overdose prevention (Mbp.state. md.us/pages/overdose. html) you’ll find an overview of the epidemic and the state’s response to it. Find out what’s going on in your own community. Contact your local and state representatives and advocate for funding for programs to help those who are living with addiction.

The heroin epidemic is not something that only happens to somebody else.

Heroin does not discriminate: not by economic class, not racial division or gender or orientation difference. It is stealthy. It can start as simply as a prescription for something to help with back pain.

What can you do about it? Get involved. Take time to care for yourself. Take time to care for your family. Take time to care for your friends. Take time to care for your community. Together, we can make a difference. t Liz Thompson has been a case manager at the Frederick County Health Department for over six years.

out in the valley // faith

Searching Pastor Needed!

By Rev. Kelly Crenshaw One of the most challenging tasks any congregation faces is that of finding a new pastor. New Light is in the middle of an active search process. This means that we’re accepting applications and setting up interviews. It’s very exciting.

Our previous pastor spent many years with us and we enjoyed his leadership.

Rev. Michael encouraged us to explore our gifts and talents so that we could share with the church and our community. He taught us to step up and assume leadership roles we never thought we could do.

He supervised and mentored us in those roles and we did well.

However, when he left, we felt a little lost. We had leaders in place and we knew what we had to do, but we ended up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. We never realized how much Rev. Michael did to keep our church operations and ministries running smoothly.

As many churches before us, we began to have some confusion and drama.

That’s when we called in our current co-transitional pastors, Rev. Kelly and Rev. Sherry. These two women stepped up and helped us find our sense of community once again. They helped us look at our past, take the best parts of it and apply it to our future mission and ministry focus. We spent many months looking at ourselves and learning how to come together with one focus in mind.

It wasn’t always an easy process.

Some of us had concerns that dated back to our church’s beginnings, some were much more recent. We found that by hold-

ing on to those memories and dwelling on those negative thoughts, we were not only hurting ourselves, but putting our church’s future in jeopardy.

We all have bad memories in our pasts. We can each point to something that made a negative impact. However, if we allow those memories to color each experience, then we will never be able to move past them and find true happiness and fulfillment. Churches can do this, too.

People within the congregation refuse to let go of past hurts or misunderstandings, they want to blame someone and pastoral leaders are an easy target, especially after they’ve moved on.

Our co-transitional pastors worked with us to help us see the lessons that could be learned from our past experiences.

They guided us in recognizing all of the wonderful history that we share within our congregation. They assisted us in forming a clearer vision of the direction God would have this congregation move in the future.

Now, we have a dedicated core of people who are willing to work together for the betterment of the church. When we have challenges to address, we discuss them and work toward a strong solution. We don’t all always agree, but we always feel like we’ve had our say and were able to discuss our concerns.

We are preparing to interview candidates to determine who will walk with us in the next stage of our spiritual journey at New Light. We’d love to have you journey with us into the future. t For more info about New Light contact one of the co-pastors at 301-797-5698 or newlightmcc@hotmail.com.

Spirit Speaks

Rev. Dr. Rob Apgar-Taylor

‘There’s No Place Like Rome’ There’s a saying, “The only problem with churches that have all the answers is that they don’t allow any questions!” And questions are important aren’t they? Questions are how we learn and grow. It’s in grappling with questions that we are challenged and challenge those around us.

Along with being a pastor I am also a German teacher. When I taught in a local high school, I used to love it when kids would ask the right question. If they didn’t

“Questions are how we learn and grow.”

a corner on the market of truth. Instead of being threatened by those who disagree with me, I appreciate those who challenge me and are willing to hear me in ways that challenge them as well. Maybe, just maybe, if I get my own religious arrogance out of the way, I will see God in a new way through the eyes of those who see the Divine differently than I do.

As a progressive Christian pastor, I see my vocation as one of teacher and guide.

Mine is not to tell people what they should think or believe. My job is not to reveal divine Truths, but to help people better understand their own spiritual journeys and give them the tools and language they need to discover and develop their own authentic spiritual life.

Over the next few issues, I am going to examine some of the main points of Progressive Christianity. You don’t have to agree with all of it, but I do hope you will join me in the process and that you will find some words that will help you in your own spiritual journey. Be blessed! t Dr. Rob Apgar-Taylor is pastor of Grace United Church of Christ, Frederick, and Veritas United Church of Christ, Hagerstown.

understand a tough grammar concept, for example, but they could tell me exactly what they didn’t get, I could fix it. But if they didn’t ask the question, I had no idea where they needed help.

The problem is that in religion we don’t often like questions – we like certainty.

We love answers. Just believe and accept. Click your heels together three times and say, “There’s no place like Rome.”

Just assent and shut up. But the reality is that churches not encouraging questions doesn’t mean we don’t still have them. We do and they are important.

This is one of the first tenants of what we refer to as Progressive Christianity.

Progressive Christianity is an alternative way of looking at faith and life. It recognizes the importance of questions over answers. It understands that the spiritual life is about journey, not destination. And that journey is a lifelong one. And what’s more important is that your journey may not look exactly like mine, but that doesn’t mean it’s not authentic and life-giving.

Progressive Christianity is thinking, breathing spirituality, one that is fluid and honors experience and understanding. As progressive people of faith I understand that diversity is a gift and that no one has BALTIMORE OUTLOUD MAY 13, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

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Lively Arts // out on screen

Avengers Assembled, Torn Asunder

By Chuck Duncan When we last saw Captain America (in his own movie), he was battling his best friend Bucky and the government in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. When we last saw the Avengers, they were taking on another alien menace that was set on destroying mankind while destroying yet another city and themselves in the process.

The residual effects of these storylines are brought to bear in the latest Marvel Studios action flick Captain America: Civil War. After the events of Avengers: Age of Ultron, which left the city of Sokovia in rubble with hundreds of civilians dead (and this seems to be the first time any of these Marvel films have actually dealt with the human consequence of the superheroes attempting to save those very people they end up killing – while Batman v. Superman dealt with that issue head-on), the governments of the world, under the banner of the United Nations, want to put a leash on the Avengers, basically controlling when and where they have the authority to act.

Still not fully reconciled from the events of both Avengers’ actions in New York or Sokovia, along with his guilt over Ultron’s actions, Tony Stark is fully on-board with allowing the government to muzzle the team, and he’s got some back-up with Black Widow, Vision, War Machine, and some new allies on his team. Cap is backed up by Hawkeye, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, the newly deprogrammed Bucky (a.k.a. Winter Soldier) and Ant-Man, with some assist from Sharon Carter, who finally revealed her familial connection to Agent Peggy Carter after her death. While Tony is fine with some oversight, Steve thinks that it’s too much interference to let someone else decide who they should help, posing some good questions like what happens when they need to be somewhere but the U.N. says no. It’s a tricky line to walk and both sides have valid points.

Of course, things have to come to a head to explain the film’s title, and as the leaders of world’s nations have come together in the country of Wakanda to sign the Sokovia Accords, a terrorist attack on the UN building injures many and takes the life of the president of Wakanda. When surveillance footage seems to indicate the Winter Soldier was responsible, the action puts Steve and Tony at odds, and makes a new enemy/ally in the form of the presi-

Captain America: Civil War

dent’s son T’Challa, who has an alter ego of his own, Black Panther, who sides with Team Iron Man after a daring rescue of Bucky, puts Team Cap on the wrong side of the new law.

And did I mention Tony also employs another new member of his team? One teenager by the name of Peter Parker?

Yes, Marvel finally ironed out their differences with Sony and are now able to bring Spider-Man into the Marvel-proper universe (still no X-Men on that horizon though). This introduction to Peter/Spidey can be seen as basically the origin story for his next standalone movie, and it’s probably not a stretch to say that any moment Spider-Man on screen is a true highlight of the film and bodes well for his own cinematic future. Tom Holland, who is just barely out of his teenage years, plays the teenaged Parker to perfection with all of his teen angst and awkwardness, and the classic never-knowingwhen-to-shut-his-yap character everyone knows and loves from the comics. He helps lighten up what could have been a very dire war between the two sides (and let’s not forget Paul Rudd’s Ant-Man, who also adds some terrific comedy relief).

Besides Holland’s Peter Parker, this film also introduces Chadwick Boseman as T’Challa / Black Panther (who will also have his own standalone film). Boseman brings a lot of intensity to the role of a man blinded by revenge who must reconcile his feelings when secrets and truths are revealed. And the Black Panther character is pretty cool. It’s a good intro for the character and it will be interesting to see where the character goes from here.

The film also brings back Frank Grillo, who played Brock Rumlow in Winter Soldier, who has now taken on the Crossbones persona in this film. Unfortunately, he’s dispatched a bit too quickly. Daniel Brühl is also featured prominently as Zemo (we won’t reveal any spoilers about his character), Martin Freeman as Everett K. Ross, and William Hurt returns as Thaddeus Ross, now the U.S. Secretary of State, who pushes the Avengers to sign the accords.

While the film functions as a continu-

ation of the Avengers movies, it is also a direct sequel to Winter Soldier as Bucky is a focal point of the terrorist attacks and the impetus for the battle of the heroes. But there is a lot more going on with the Winter Soldier than we first see on the surface with some shocking events that go back to Tony Stark’s teenage years. (And a scene depicting a teenage Stark is an even more startling and amazing effect than the digitally de-aged Michael Douglas in Ant-Man was.) The film really poses some deep

Avengers: Infinity War playing out over the course of two movies.

Captain America: Civil War may not be quite as good as Winter Soldier, but it is still quite a terrific superhero action movie that does manage to excel where Age of Ultron failed by not just being a carbon copy of the previous film in the series.

Each Cap movie has had its own “persona” and style, and while this one feels more like an Avengers tale, the directors, the Russo Brothers, and their screenwritSome loose ends to savor

questions about how far governments should be allowed to go when it comes to people’s lives, and it’s not all wrapped up in a neat bow by the end of the movie.

It will be interesting to see how our heroes will recover from these events in their own upcoming films, how the story will affect TV’s Agents of SHIELD, and how Marvel will basically put a cap on it all with

ers have upped the ante for our favorite superheroes (and the Russos have proven they can handle a multiple hero film), making us even more eager for their take on the Avengers with the Infinity War saga yet to come.

Needless to say, Marvel has another home run on their hands and the fans should be quite happy. t

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Lively Arts // QMUSIC

Listen to the Past

By Gregg Shapiro Regardless of what you think of Phil Collins (and let’s be honest, he probably doesn’t care what you think), there’s no denying the impact he has made on contemporary music. His time as a drummer with prog-rock legends Genesis as well as jazz fusion act Brand X established him as an ace musician. When he took Peter Gabriel’s place as lead vocalist for Genesis in the late 1970s, Collins was integral in expanding the band’s audience, transitioning the group from one with a cult following to one with chart-topping success.

Around the same time he was leading Genesis to greater heights, Collins also embarked on a solo recording career that elevated his own profile to superstar status. His 1981 solo debut Face Value (Atlantic/Rhino), one of a series of expanded double-disc Collins reissues featuring live and demo tracks, yielded the career-defining hit single “In The Air Tonight,” as well as the popular number “I Missed Again,” and a pair of instrumentals, including “Hand in

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Hand.” The follow-up, 1982’s Hello, I Must Be Going! (Atlantic/Rhino), wasn’t necessarily a disappointment (it sold well and included hit singles “It Don’t Matter to Me” and cover of “You Can’t Hurry Love”), it just wasn’t as strong as Face Value. However, almost nothing could have prepared us (or Collins for that matter) for the triumph of 1985’s No Jacket Required (Atlantic/Rhino). From the dance-club hit “Sussudio” through the dramatic anthem “Take Me Home,” No Jacket Required earned the Grammy Awards it received.

It’s also worth mentioning that Collins’s first three solo albums illustrate his deftness with writing tear-jerking ballads.

“If Leaving Me Is Easy,” “You Know What I Mean,” and “The Roof Is Leaking” from Face Value, “Why Can’t It Wait ‘Til Morning” from Hello, I Must Be Going! and the huge hit single “One More Night” and “We Said Hello, Goodbye” from No Jacket Required offered listeners another side of Collins.

By 1995, at the time of the release of

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The Muffs’ Blonder and Blonder (Omnivore), reissued in an expanded single disc version containing seven bonus tracks, Courtney Love’s Hole had pretty much become the dominant female-front grunge act, trampling equally worthy acts such as L7, Babes In Toyland, and, of course, The Muffs. Even reduced to a trio, The Muffs, led by the fierce Kim Shattuck, with her alternately sung and screamed lyrics, could make a joyous noise. Songs such as “Agony,” “On and On,” “Red Eyed Troll,” “Laying On A Bed of Roses,” “Won’t Come Out to Play,” and “Just a Game,” are good illustrations. Perhaps, with this reissue, and the 2015 reissue of The Muff’s 1993 debut album, the band will finally get its due.

If you should ever have any doubts about the long-lasting influence and impact of Boston’s new wave pioneers The Cars, just take a long road trip with nothing but an FM radio as your music source. Then surf the dial (carefully, you are driving after all) and count the number of times you hear a song by The Cars being played. You might not be able to keep track. The six-CD box set The Elektra Years (Elektra/Rhino) is a road map to the band’s career, beginning with the acclaimed 1978 eponymous debut album featuring eternal hits such as “Just What I Needed” and “My Best Friend’s Girl.” 1979’s Candy-O, with its Vargas album cover wasn’t quite the equal of its predecessor, but contained hits including the title cut and “Let’s Go.” Panorama and Shake it Up, from 1980 and 1981 respectively, hinted at a lack of innovation.

However, 1984’s brilliant Heartbeat City, featuring the massive singles “You Might Think,” “Magic,” and “Drive,” indicated the end of the slump. That is until the band’s disappointing final Elektra release of the 1980s, Door to Door. If The Elektra Years feels like too much of a commitment, consider the 18-track single disc comp Moving In Stereo: The Best of the Cars (Elektra/ Rhino).

Some bands have two or more chapters in the course of their careers. The Bee Gees, for instance, had distinctive musical segments, beginning in the 1960s

Phil Collins

credit: Patrick Balls

and continuing through diverse periods in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. The same can be said of The Kinks featuring briefly bisexual Dave Davies and his brother front-man Ray. From the band’s early British-Invasion years, to its creative late-60s/ early-70s period through its reinvention in the early 1980s, The Kinks unique musical sensibilities have set it apart from contemporaries such as The Who and The Rolling Stones. Coming as it did in 1972, after artistic masterworks ranging from The Village Green Society through Muswell Hillbillies, the expanded reissue of studio/ live set Everybody’s In Show-Biz (RCA/ Legacy) can’t help but pale in comparison.

However, “Celluloid Heroes,” the second gayest song The Kinks ever recorded, makes it all worthwhile.

Sometimes, long lost recordings have the opportunity to finally see the light of day, making their way to the ears of listeners from all walks of life. Two such examples include the previously unreleased 1975 studio recording French Pictures In London (Smog Veil) by The Robert Bensick Band and the double CD set Some Other Time: The Lost Session from The Black Forest (Resonance) by Bill Evans with Eddie Gomez and Jack DeJohnette, from 1968. t

Lively Arts // screen savor

When and Where

By Gregg Shapiro As doc subjects go, 2014’s When Bette Met Mae (MVDVisuals / Reel History Films / Indie Rights), narrated by Sally Kellerman and now available on DVD, is pretty specific. As a “young man of 27, just out of optometry school,” writer/director Wes Wheadon met the iconic Bette Davis and Mae West. Familiar with their films, but less so about their private lives in the days before social, Wheadon had the privilege to get to know them. He was also present the night they met.

Recorded in November, 1973, the conversation between Davis, then 65, and West, at 80, is dramatized by a cast of actors. Karen Teliha, plays Davis “already into the orange juice” (“code for vodka with a splash of OJ”), around the time that Wheadon (portayed by Brandon Larcom) became Davis’s eye doctor. Wheadon was also hired by Davis to be a bartender at a dinner party she had with “famous guest” West (played by Victoria Mill) in a pink pantsuit. Wheadon recorded “Mae’s famous voice” with a portable cassette deck.

With escorts Stan Musgrove (Tomas Arana) and Glenn Shahan (Don Yanan) in tow, the evening progresses, incorporating the recorded dialogue, as well as vintage footage connected to people and events referred to by the screen legends and the guests. There’s an educational component with the two women, at ease with each other and conducting a sort of mutual admiration society meeting, in which both actresses, as well as the viewer, learns more than a few new things.

The birth of the Screen Actors Guild, justified vilification of Ronald Reagan, romantic relationships and interludes, movie studio shenanigans, censorship and the Hayes Code, West’s play The Drag (“a homosexual comedy in three acts”), and Charles Pierce and Craig Russell’s impersonations, are just a few of the topics covered. When the subject of lesbianism is broached and Davis talks about how she “tried to turn for years” and how

she thought “it would be so simple,” but couldn’t figure out “who’ll be the man and who will be the woman,” the movie reaches it campy peak.

On the premise that “the American dream is alive and well everywhere but in America,” doc filmmaker Michael Moore sets out to find out why in Where to Invade Next (Anchor Bay), now on blu-ray. Armed with an American flag for planting in foreign soil, “crazy optimist” Moore “invades” nine countries in order to “pick flowers not weeds” and claim these brilliant ideas for our own about them.

First is Italy, where working-class Italians have an abundance of vacation and paid holiday, resulting in low stress and a long life expectancy, because there is “no clash between the profits of companies and the well-being of employees.” In France, Moore learns how that country’s slightly higher taxes result in greater benefits including the healthy and delicious food in school cafeterias as well as sensible sex education in schools.

Ranked among the best in the world, Finland’s education system boasts no homework for students, as well as short school day, short school year and no standardized testing. Education is also important in Slovenia where there a college education is free to all.

Moore’s trip to Germany, while celebratory of the treatment of workers, is the film’s first serious moment in the way it addresses the issue of the Holocaust and the way the country has owned up to its prior indiscretions. Portugal’s drug decriminalization has a restoration of human dignity component while Norway’s prison system and treatment of prisoners is groundbreaking. The U.S. could learn something about women’s rights from Tunisia, including how women are in full control of their reproductive rights. Women are also treated with uncommon respect in Iceland (a country that has the first female president), while criminal bankers are prosecuted and sent to prison instead of being bailed out by the government. The blu-ray contains no bonus material or special features. t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD MAY 13, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

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Lively Arts // B’more In The Know

Local Performer Brings Beauty and the Beast to Baltimore

By Frankie Kujawa When Beauty and the Beast takes to the Hippodrome stage on opening night, Annapolis-native David Grindrod will experience the culmination of his childhood dreams come true. The performer recently stepped away from his role in the “tale as old as time” to chat with Baltimore OUTloud about the upcoming performance, growing up in Annapolis, and his excitement about returning home.

Frankie Kujawa: Could you describe your role for our readers?

David Grindrod: I’m in the ensemble so I play a bunch of different characters which I’ve named. I start out the show as the town shepherd. I’ve named him “Little Beau Peep.” Then I’m a dancing knife in the performance of “Be Our Guest.” I’ve named him “Mr. Blades,” for obvious reasons. For the end of “Be Our Guest,” for the kick line, I’m a pepper shaker. I’ve named him “Cay” (pronounced Kai), as in “cayenne.” For my last character, I play a gargoyle.

FK: What can audiences expect from this performance?

DG: The classic Disney story that children love, as well as the adult humor. I was surprised that there’s so much of the latter. There’s so much that resonates with all ages and groups of people. People are just so drawn in to the story and the audience gets lost in this fantasy word. It’s nice to leave your world for twoand-a-half hours and come visit this Disney fantasy land.

FK: What was life like growing up in Annapolis?

DG: It was the best! We had a boat and we were always on the river. Being on the Chesapeake Bay and having crab cakes. The fact I grew up on the water and had such a love for water and sailing really was great for me.

FK: When did you know that you wanted to perform?

DG: I was really young when I told my mom I wanted to do theater. She said, “That’s great, but you have to learn how to read first.” (Laughing) I just wanted to sing

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and dance. Once I passed “the mom test” she signed me up for musical theater class when I was seven years old. Since then I’ve been acting and taking dance classes. I worked with the Town Machine Dance Company in Annapolis from eight until I was 18. I went to the University of Arts in Philadelphia for my freshman year. Then I booked a national tour of A Chorus Line for a year.

FK: How long was it until you booked Beauty and the Beast?

DG: After A Chorus Line I knew that I wanted to be in New York, but wasn’t ready to move there yet and I knew I wasn’t ready for college. So, I worked at Disney World and Universal for a year as a dancer. After that I moved to New York, studied at Pace University, and actually graduated May 2015. Beauty and the Beast came right after that.

FK: Anything you hope to accomplish while here in Baltimore?

DG: I’ll be living at home so I’ll get to hang out with my parents. My sister is coming in from out of town for the homecoming performance. My other sister is studying abroad in South Africa, so obviously she can’t make it. I’m also excitFeel the ed to go back and have extravaganza a real crab cake. Even though they say, in all parts of the country, “Maryland crab cake” on the menu it’s not a true Maryland crab cake.

FK: Are you excited about performing at the Hippodrome?

DG: My parents gave me season tickets for the tour shows for years and years. I remember many Sunday nights at 6:30 p.m. we were sitting there. The fact that I’m performing on the Hippodrome stage is definitely a lifelong dream come true and it’s very exciting.

FK: If Beauty and the Beast were set in Baltimore, what type of Baltimore-themed furniture would you be?

DG: I think I would be a crab mallet. Not just a cheap plastic crab mallet. Like a real wooden crab mallet with the nice handle. Can you tell I’ve missed Maryland crabs since I’ve been away? t

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quality of life

Violet’s Vet

Dr. Tony Calo

Meet my Friend Emilio Violet has lot of friends, and these friendships transcend species lines. One of her friends is Emilio, her Devon Rex. He is 18 years old now and has been with me since he was six months old. Violet loves Emilio for many reasons, including that his ears are as big for a cat as hers are for a dog. They also love cuddling together for warmth and are dear friends. Violet was concerned that some of you may not be familiar with the Devon Rex and she has compelled me to do another breed profile column starring her buddy Emilio. First and foremost, let me tell you how Emilio entered my life.

My senior year of veterinary school I was completing a two-week externship at a Washington, D.C., veterinary clinic. The veterinarian at the hospital worked closely with a Devon Rex breeder. So closely that he would go to the breeder’s home for house calls. I was asked to accompany him to the breeder’s home one day to help vaccinate kittens. We drove out to Silver Spring, walked into a small suburban home, and I was introduced to the breeder.

He asked me to take a seat while he rounded up the patients. He left the room but had neglected to close the door behind him. Within minutes, the room had been flooded with small, curious, and very fuzzy cats. They were striking in appearance with beautiful, big, wide-set eyes, and large expressive ears. I was entranced watching them play and explore. They promptly found their way to me and my lap. In another few minutes, I was covered in a pile of 20 or so kittens. On the very top of this pile was one in particular, even stranger than the rest. He had the same big eyes and ears, but he was absent the curly coat – in fact, he was bald. He happily reached up and started rubbing his chin against mine. In that moment, we were bonded. The breeder came back and with resignation and disappointment, he pointed out that the kitten had chosen me as his friend, but had a condition that caused

him to be born bald and that he would likely stay that way. He planned to dispose of the kitten so that no one would know that his line had produced this genetic fault. As I listened to him explain the kitten could never be shown and was not worthy of his line, I calmly looked up at the man and said, “I’ll take him”.

As we left the cattery, I had a new best friend and constant companion. Emilio has been with me through many changes including, ten apartments / condos / houses, three long-term relationships, and the loss of both my parents. He has been a source of friendship and love that knows no limits. He has spent countless hours riding around on my shoulder. He always listens, makes me smile, and has been there for every happy and sad moment for the past 18 years. We even had the same surgery to remove and biopsy a lymph node within a month of each other. His biopsy confirmed a rare condition in cats called distinctive peripheral lymph node hyperplasia. Mine was a reactive hyperplasia. A little over two years ago, he scared me. He had a Hairless but heartless?

Anything but!

mass found under his tongue. When the mass was removed, the biopsy confirmed an aggressive cancer called squamous cell carcinoma. He had weekly chemotherapy for six months, and today he remains in complete remission. He still loves eating, lounging in the sun, and sleeping soundly right between Connor and me. He is a once-in-a-lifetime cat.

Part of Emilio being so special is the rich heritage that goes along with being a Devon Rex. So what is it about this breed that makes them so wonderful? Please stay tuned until the next issue to learn all about this beautiful breed of cat.

If there are any breeds of dog (or cats) you are interesting in learning about, please send a message to Violet’s Vet. t Please e-mail your stories and questions to violetsvet@baltimoreoutloud.com.

Thinking OUTloud

My Fabulous

Disease

By Mark S. King

The Comfort of Blaming Others

by Mark S. King The college student had real concern in his eyes when he asked me a question during a recent presentation at American University. “Isn’t it true,” he asked, “that the HIV epidemic continues because people who know they are positive keep infecting other people?”

It is a question I have heard before, in one way or another, and it always makes me cringe. Not only does it thrust all culpability onto those living with HIV, it also promotes a narrative that being infected with HIV chemically changes our moral fiber and transforms us into abusive monsters. It is the kind of characterization that is driving HIV criminalization laws and prosecutions, which are jailing people with HIV for the offense of having sex at all, even when we protect our partners.

“That is simply wrong,” I responded to the student.

“In fact, the largest amount of new infections is due to people who don’t know they are positive, who are operating on outdated HIV test results, or who haven’t tested at all. They are having sex while the HIV virus is raging in their bodies. They are the more dangerous group.”

There are few things more satisfying than projecting blame onto other people, especially when you can sling it across the chasm that exists between those of us who actually know we are HIV positive and those who do not. There is such comfort in pointing out that nope, it isn’t me, it’s that

guy over there.

And shouldn’t people know that those who haven’t bothered to get tested lately are responsible for more infections? It’s a message advocates like myself have been delivering for years in an attempt to increase HIV testing and, consciously or not, subtly redirect blame.

Except that my answer to that college student isn’t true. Not anymore.

New epidemiological facts, first brought to my attention last month by Paul Kawata of the National Minority AIDS Council, completely discredit my long-held beliefs.

More new HIV infections are now caused by people who know they are positive. That’s the truth. And by a wide margin.

Here comes two brief paragraphs of wonky epidemiology. Hang in there. It’s very interesting.

A December, 2015 article in the New England Journal of Medicine using data from 2012 shows that a whopping 69% of new infections can be attributed to people who have already tested positive for HIV but are not in care or not receiving adequate care, and only 23% of new HIV infections are due to those who do not know they are positive (a small, single-digit percentage of new infections are attributable to people who are in regular care but are not necessarily undetectable).

This, in contrast to a study published earlier last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association but using data from 2009, which states that people who know they are positive are less likely to transmit HIV than those who don’t know they are positive.

So, what happened between 2009 and 2012 that produced such conflicting results? Dr. Jonathan Mermin, the Director

“It took surprising new research on current HIV infection rates to get me off my high horse and take me back to basics. We’re all in this together. Negative people at risk should maintain HIV testing.

Those who test positive should investigate treatment.”

of the National Center for HIV/AIDS at the Centers for Disease Control, happens to have co-authored both studies in question.

“Saying the epidemic is largely driven by people who think they are negative is no longer a true statement,” Dr. Mermin told me. “And this is what has changed

over time: The U.S. is one of the countries where a high percentage of people know their status. We’re up to 87%.”

In other words, there is now a much larger pool of people who know they are positive, due to the success of HIV testing efforts. And from this larger pool comes the vast majority of new HIV infections.

“The reason these figures have changed,” said Dr. Mermin, “is because we know more of the people who are positive.

The challenge now is to get those people into regular care.”

Since only 30% of those who know they are positive are virally suppressed – a number that has nevertheless grown in recent years – Dr. Mermin strongly believes that the biggest push both clinically and in terms of CDC budget dollars should be devoted to getting people with HIV into care, on treatment, and rendered undetectable (also known as “treatment as prevention”).

“Treatment and prevention are now intertwined” said Dr. Mermin. “You can’t think of one without the other. We have encouraged our grantees to think about that continuum of care, to think about getting people into care, anti-retroviral therapy, while continuing to help people know the facts about transmission. That comprehensive package has been found to be effective.”

The clear evidence after all of this number crunching makes my longstanding habit of assigning blame to “those other people” not only ignorant but ludicrous. There are plenty of HIV infections to go around. This isn’t a contest for the title of Most Likely to Infect Someone.

Funny how my attitude becomes more

generous, when it is now people who know they have HIV, like me, who are doing the most infecting.

We also can’t ignore another important statistic. Only 30% of the HIV positive people in the U.S. are undetectable, which puts an asterisk on another popular message among HIV advocates: that it is safer to have sex with a person who is positive, in treatment, and undetectable.

That is literally true, yes, but it includes a big mouthful of important qualifiers – not all of which can be properly vetted in every risky situation. Hopeful assumptions are not a prevention strategy.

While I applaud the gay dating apps that have added profile options for HIV status that include “undetectable” and “PrEP,” the truth behind these personal factoids should be weighed at least as discerningly as facts presented about, say, their age. Or about their other personal attributes. Ahem.

The growing list of status labels also fractures our community even further, whittling us into subsets within subsets. Suddenly, the new personal failure isn’t simply being HIV positive, but now includes not being undetectable. This doesn’t begin to address the many social determinants that block people who know they are positive from achieving viral suppression: lack of access and financial resources, HIV stigma, an unwillingness to take medications, having failed treatment regimens, or simply being without the wherewithal to locate an HIV clinic or physician and jump through the hoops required to enter the system.

All of the finger pointing in which I have admittedly participated is a useless exercise.

By focusing on the relative safety of someone else we renounce our own responsibility. That is why the arrival of pre-exposure prophylaxis changes so much of the game.

PrEP puts HIV negative people in charge of their own protection, without having to make judgments or assumptions about others.

But, until PrEP access and education better reaches communities most at risk, many people will still look outward, relying on guesswork and presumptions about who is a danger to them and who is not. As I have recently learned, sometimes we get it very wrong.

It took surprising new research on current HIV infection rates to get me off my high horse and take me back to basics. We’re all in this together. Negative people at risk should maintain HIV testing. Those who test positive should investigate treatment. Barriers should be removed.

And of course, taking action to protect ourselves is our responsibility. It is ultimately ours, and ours alone. t

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thinking out loud // mark my words

Historic Honors

BY MARK SEGAL Before I get to the meat of what this column is about, I’d like to offer an opportunity to anyone who’d like to go to the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this July. But it comes with strings – a lot of fun and a little work. Oh, and you have to change your name, and do it in the next 90 days.

Fun fact of the day: It seems when voters went into their voting machines in one

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Pennsylvanian Congressional district to vote for their delegates to the DNC, they discovered among the list “Removed by Court Order.” Well “Removed by Court Order” won a delegate spot. So, if you live in the First Congressional District, change your name, and claim that that victory is yours. It’s likely there’s no one else in the entire world named “Removed by Court Order” …

Now to what for me is the real news of the week and a very prideful moment.

Last week, Philadelphia Gay News was

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informed that, for the third year in a row, we have won a Society of Professional Journalists Sigma Delta Chi Award. This time it was for our staff’s coverage of last year’s Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality.

The award is given for deadline reporting of a major story: how the staff covered the issue, how that coverage affected readers, essentially, that the publication gets the basic of reporting and does so well, and on a deadline.

For the third year running, PGN will head to the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., in June to pick up the award.

The first was an investigative award for Tim Cwiek’s almost-14-year odyssey to find the truth behind the homicide of Nizah Morris, a category we shared with the Wall Street Journal. Last year was for a sports photo

by Scott Drake, yes, an LGBT newspaper won best sports photo from a mainstream journalist association. This latest award for Scott, Jen Colletta, and Sean Dorn makes clear that, even on deadline, the staff at PGN will get the news to you fast and accurately. Like many of you, on June 26th, the day the SCOTUS ruling came down, we were in a haze of joy, but we also had a responsibility to you, our readers, to work now and celebrate later.

This award comes as we celebrate our 40th anniversary and look at PGN’s place in history, how we help to change the world just a little. Forty years ago, our very name was controversial; putting “gay” on the front page was unheard of. Other publications around the country were titled The Advocate, The Blade, B.A.R., but we proudly put who we were right there on that front page.

On a personal note, I’m the luckiest man alive since I get to work with the most committed professionals in the news business every day. t Mark Segal is publisher of Philadelphia Gay News. His new memoir And Then I Danced is out now. You can follow him oat Facebook.com/MarkSegalPGN or Twitter. com/PhilaGayNews.

quality of life

Ask

Dr. J

Janan Broadbent, Ph.D.

Empathy or Lack Thereof What makes it possible for us to have emotions in response to another person’s joy, happiness, sadness, pain or agitation? It is a human quality called empathy, which allows us to feel a kinship with another person. In fact, those who cannot experience this would be considered cold, unfeeling, and insensitive. I bring this up because not a day goes by when we read accounts of someone posting a self-revealing, difficult event and then being bombarded by nasty and cruel comments.

Of course, the anonymity of the internet facilitates this. I wonder just how many people would make the same comments in person. What is so discouraging is that we see people who in fact say hurtful things to their friends, family, and partners. What motivates that?

Most of us have been taught as we grow up that if we do something wrong, we should suffer the consequences. Some take this to mean punishment in a physical sense and think it is acceptable to hit. We then end up with what we read every day: statistics on violence demonstrates not only crimes of passion but also the condoning of such behavior.

For others, saying whatever comes to mind in anger is justified, with the damage that it causes in the relationship. Yes, words do hurt, much more than sticks and stones because they stay with us.

How do you want to resolve a conflict when you feel hurt, misunderstood, or unfairly accused? How do you want to address your partner when he/she feels the same emotions? Can you focus on the issue at hand, or do you end up bringing in all related or unrelated issues including the kitchen sink? That is a very common way we all deal with conflict, because most of us have not learned to focus on the issue at hand and keep the emotionality at bay. So we delve into other subjects, most of which are probably unresolved, because that seems to give us the chance to rant and rave, meaning unloading or catharsis. In the end nothing is resolved.

So next time you see yourself getting into an argument, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is important here? Why would I want to hurl insults at this person I love? How can I come from a place within myself where there is affection and caring and be able to resolve a conflict? How do I counter the negativity? These are skills that one can acquire.

Empathy cannot be taught; but good listening skills, a nonjudgmental view, and caring about another human being all facilitate its occurrence. When you start to look at yourself and increase the awareness of what is going on within you, you are not only taking care of yourself but also of the other, and that is the core of a relationship. That is where we talk of a “connection” that makes interactions joyful. t

“In your next argument, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is important here? Why would I want to hurl insults at this person I love?”

Moving

Forward

By Ava Barron-Shasho

Maybe This Time They Changed

By Ava Barron-Shasho Recently many clients have been saying the same thing about their significant other, spouse, or ex. The characters may change but the story line is the same. It goes something like this: “He called me last week. I know we broke up last year after he kicked my cat, put sand in my gas tank, beat me up, and got me fired. He seemed really, I don’t know, regretful.

He wants to meet, have me come over or chat on the phone. I think he deserves a second, third, even fifth chance. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” I noticed clients don’t make eye contact when they tell me this. Shame has settled in and has begun eroding at their self-esteem and self-compassion. Not cool!

At this point I often tell them to sit back, sip on the tea I just poured for them, and listen to a story. This story originated from a Native American legend and just like my clients, the characters may change but the meaning remains the same.

It goes like this: Once there was a young boy who was ready to take his initiation to become a man in his tribe. He was nervous but ready to do what was expected of him and a rite of passage for all men in his community.

Early in the morning he woke with his leather bag and climbed alone to the top of the nearby mountain. There he was to spend the

night, week, or month, and return home with wisdom and knowledge of what it means to be a man. Once he reached the mountain peak he happened upon a scorpion. The scorpion whispered to him, “I have been up here and the trek was hard and there is little for me to eat. I see you are a kind soul and would greatly appreciate if you would take me just half way down the mountain.” The young boy responded, “But you are a scorpion and you will bite me!” The scorpion answered, “No I won’t because I will be so appreciative of your help.”

With that the boy, wanting to be helpful to all, picks up the scorpion and after spending the night, descends down the mountain. Once he got halfway down he opens up his pouch, reaches his hand in, and brings out the scorpion. At which time the scorpion smiles and bites him. The boy through his tears and cries, “Why did you do that? You said you wouldn’t bite me!” The scorpion, as he’s walking away, reminds the boy, “You knew what I was when you picked me up” The boy, as do my clients, wants to help.

They want to give their partner, spouse, ex that has proven on more than one occasion they aren’t changing, just one chance. They think, “Maybe this time she will be the person I know she is inside.” My clients look surprised and dismayed when they are bit again.

The work in therapy isn’t about the snake or scorpion. The work in therapy is about why some humans want to be valued, loved, flattered, attended to, cared for or help others so much, they are willing to put themselves in harm’s way time after time after time.

I ask them, and I will ask you if you see yourself in the scorpion scenario, what is getting in your way? What do you think you deserve? Why do you think this time it will be different? What are you risking? What is your level of self-esteem and self-respect?

If you were to stand in your strength, power and integrity, what would you do differently?

Take some time and ponder these questions.

The answers will shed light on your path of change. t

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quality of life // LYNDA does the law

DUI / DWI Cases and MVA Hearings Part 3

By Lynda Dee This is the final in a series of three articles on drunken driving arrests. The first article (Baltimore OUTloud, April 1st) focused on the court aspects of these cases. The second article (April 29th issue) focused on MVA hearings related to breathalyzer tests. In this article, I will focus on MVA hearings after DUI/DWI convictions.

If you have been convicted of an alcohol-related offense, you will be subjected to an additional MVA hearing. The good news is that a suspension or revocation is not mandatory like many of the chemical test sanction provisions. Administrative law judges (ALJs) have the discretion to impose other penalties.

While the court has the power to impose a sentence upon you, the MVA has the power to suspend or revoke your driver’s license. You will have a separate hearing at a separate location for your court case and for your MVA hearing. It is also possible to have two MVA hearings.

You may have an MVA hearing for an accumulation of points and an alcohol-related conviction and another hearing for a breathalyzer result over the legal limit or a breathalyzer refusal. (See my second, April 29th article).

Initially, if you do not complete the administrative hearing request form and forward it to the Office of Administrative Hearings with the required $125 fee within the allotted time, you will be ineligible for a hearing and the penalties described in your MVA notice will be mandatory. Further, the interlock option that might have been offered will no longer be available to you if you do not comply with the interlock requirements outlined in the form within 30 days of receiving the notice.

It is also important to note whether the MVA notification offers you the option to install an interlock device in lieu of a hearing.

Even though interlock devices are expensive and inconvenient, it may be better in some instances for you to elect to have an interlock device installed than to request a hearing.

Even if you initially had the choice to install an interlock device before the hearing, the MVA ALJ can reject this previous interlock option and suspend or in some cases even revoke your license at a requested hearing.

Some ALJs will simply impose the same interlock penalty that was prescribed in your original notification. Some will even impose longer term interlock requirements. You do not want to pay the $125 cost of the hearing plus attorney’s fees for the same result possible without the expense and stress of a hearing.

Remember, too, an even worse result may be imposed at the subsequent hearing.

The MVA ALJ may impose a 60-day license suspension for a first offense after a conviction for driving while impaired by alcohol or alcohol and drugs.

The penalties are even harsher for violations by people with prior offenses or who are under 21, as well as commercial drivers.

Your license may be revoked if you are convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol or impaired by alcohol and or drugs if you have accumulated a certain number of points within a given period. Your license may also be revoked if you have been convicted of driving while impaired by alcohol or alcohol and drugs within three years of a previous driving while under the influence conviction.

License revocations are much more serious than suspensions. After a suspension, you are automatically eligible to reinstate your privilege to drive. After a revocation for an alcohol related offense, at least one year must elapse before you are eligible to apply for a license reinstatement. There are numerous complicated forms to be completed and many involved requirements necessary, including participation in an alcohol program that must certify through documented testing that you have been alcohol-free for more than one year. It is imperative that you have an experienced attorney representing you at an MVA hearing if this is a second or subsequent alcohol conviction hearing. It is essential to avoid having your driver’s license revoked because reinstatement after a revocation takes so long and is so involved.

Most attorneys offer free consultations for MVA hearing cases. You may simply need guidance in deciding whether to accept the interlock device for the prescribed period.

Do yourself a favor and make the best of a bad situation by consulting with an attorney before you make a wrong decision. t

“Consult with an attorney before you make a wrong decision.”

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quality of life

Tech

Talk

David Sugar

Backing Up and Retrieving Data So your computer is dying a slow death and you have scads of important documents. Unfortunately the operating system doesn’t start properly anymore and you can’t access them. This article will go over ways to retrieve what you’re looking for, and even better, to make sure documents are backed up before disaster strikes.

So you want to back up those important files – your resume, tax records, anything you may need down the road. You have a few options. First I suggest storing copies on multiple devices. Buy a flash drive and copy essential files there. Keep that flash drive under lock and key so if your hard drive or computer fails you have a backup. Your next option is Google Drive.

If you have an e-mail address with Google then you already should have Google Drive. Rather than save all your important documents in the default documents folder, install the Google Drive application for your computer and save your documents in the Google Drive folder. They’ll remain there even if your hard drive fails. From any computer you can retrieve your files.

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I won’t get into the details here but at least in Windows you can redirect your default Documents save location to Google Drive. For more information on how to do that take a look at: Howtogeek.com/howto/26559/change-the-default-save-folder-for-windows-7-libraries-to-somethingelse-like-your-dropbox. Keep in mind that Google gives each account a default 30 gigabytes of space. Should you get close to exceeding the space for a nominal cost you can increase the storage space you have available.

What if your operating system has failed or your computer no longer works properly? Assuming your hard drive is still readable, the files can still be retrieved via a few options. The first and most cost efficient option is to purchase a hard drive adapter that allows you to hook it up to another computer via USB. You can find them online or locally here in Baltimore at Microcenter: Microcenter.com/product/285941/ EZ-Connect_USB_to_SATA-IDE_Adapter.

If you aren’t “tech savvy” I suggest asking someone for help removing the hard drive from your computer and hooking it up to another computer to retrieve the necessary files. This will prevent any accidental damage to the hard drive. Another option if you would like to continue using the hard drive from your old computer for storage is to get an external hard drive enclosure.

If for some reason your hard drive has failed and is unreadable, as a last resort I would suggest data recovery services if the information you are trying to retrieve is information you can’t do without. Data recovery services are pricey and there is no guarantee that you will be able to retrieve the required data. t Please send me your questions at outloudtech@gmail.com.

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leather line

Leather

Line

Rodney Burger

Meet Sir Robert Chandler Last issue I gave you a brief look at a few leather events coming up soon in the Mid-Atlantic area. Most were well-established gatherings that are held every year. This week I want to make sure you’re aware of a new leather contest scheduled to happen right here in Baltimore on the weekend of August 19 th through 21 st. Have you heard about the inaugural Atlantic States Leather Weekend?

On May 5 th I sat down with the event’s co-producer, Sir Robert Chandler. He was kind enough to invite me to his beautiful Towson home and over a glass of wine (or two) we talked about his leather journey and how he ended up being the co-producer of our area’s newest leather contest: Atlantic States LeatherSir, Leatherboy, and Community Bootblack.

Sir Robert was born in Ashland, Ohio, and grew up in the Columbus area. When I asked him how he became aware of his kinky side he smiled and explains that when he was getting a tattoo and a piecing, he realized that not only did he not mind the pain – he enjoyed it! In the early 90s he attended his first leather event. It was a Mr. Drummer / Drummerboy contest at Herbie’s Bar in Columbus. The contestants had to perform on-stage fantasies and one skit involved a man being flogged and beaten. His interest in the leather community was peaked. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed pain.

He started to support the local leather clubs and during a bar night held by the Trident International leather club in Columbus, he met a leather daddy bartender who bought him a full leather harness complete with a studded pouch. He made himself some strip-away jeans and used his new leather during his side job as a male dancer. At a local LGBT dive bar, he entered the Mr. Remo’s Pageant, a preliminary to the Mr. Gay Columbus Contest, and won.

He started dressing in leather often and hanging out at the eXile, Columbus’s

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leather/Levi bar.

In 2009 he was asked to run for the title of Mr. eXile Leather. Sir Robert says that he had just gotten out of a bad relationship and was in a dark place, but the faith that the leather community had in him gave him the strength to enter the contest.

Not only was he selected Mr. eXile Leather 2010, he also soon joined the Trident International leather club.

Knowing that he had to go to Chicago and compete in the International Mr. Leather Contest, he worked hard and held three benefits to raise money for his travel fund. With a twinkle in his eye he explains the he often raised money by selling honey shots off his ass at Sir Robert bar events. When I asked him what he thought about leather titleholders today who just set up GoFundMe pages to raise money, Sir Robert grinned and stated, “I don’t want to go there.” He quickly added, “Titleholders need to be out in public.”

The following year when no one was going to produce the Mr. eXile Leather 2011 Contest, Sir Robert stepped up and produced his own step-down. After all, no one wants to be the last person to hold a title. The contest was a success and Sir Robert emceed and produced the Mr. eXile Leather Contest for the next two years.

When asked how he ended up in the Baltimore area, Sir Robert had a one word answer, “Love.” During his title year he met the love of his life and in 2012 moved to Baltimore to be with his partner, Michael.

Although he continued to emcee leather contest all over the country, his job in D.C., and his return to school kept him too busy to involve himself very much in the Baltimore leather community.

Last year when the Mid-Atlantic LeatherSIR / Leatherboy / and Community Bootblack titles were retired because the

MAY 13, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

event’s producer moved on to other endeavors, Mid-Atlantic LeatherSIR 2010 / 2011 Sir John Krikorian asked Sir Robert if he would produce a feeder for this area to be represented at the International LeatherSIR / Leatherboy / Community Bootblack Contest in Dallas, Texas. Sir Robert agreed and joined by his close friend Mr. Maryland Leather 2011 Alex Lemaire, a new contest was planned.

Since the contestants can reside in not just the Mid-Atlantic area but may also be from New England and New York, they selected the name Atlantic States Leather.

Sir Robert laughed and told me that at first they were thinking about the 13 original colonies and thought about Colonial LeatherSir. I told him that I was glad they did not select that name because it brings to mind leather with powdered wigs!

The first Atlantic States Leather Weekend will be held at the Baltimore Eagle.

Contestant applications are available at Atlanticstatesleatherweekend.com and details can also be found on Facebook. Since the contest is in August, the new titleholders

will not compete in Dallas until Labor Day weekend 2017. This gives them over a year to hold fundraisers and promote their title and leather community. Contestants will all compete in formal leather image, speech, and have an interview with the judges. The Atlantic States LeatherSIR / Leatherboy contestants will each perform a three-minute on-stage fantasy. There is no entrance fee and contestants do not need any leather club affiliation or sponsorship. Once selected each titleholder is also expected to hold at least one benefit for charity.

A very successful kickoff event for Atlantic States Leather Weekend was held back on February 19th at The Loft at Grand Central that even brought the current International LeatherSIR / Leatherboy / and Community Bootblack titleholders to town.

The place was packed and Sir Robert was extremely pleased with all of the support.

He is very excited to be part of the LeatherSIR / Leatherboy family. This is a contest that grew out of the old Mr. Drummer / Drummerboy Contest in 2002 and since his first introduction to the leather community was a Drummer contest, it seems that his leather journey has now come full circle. t

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