Baltimore OUTloud • November 11, 2016

OUT Election Disaster

by Jim Becker As election night wore on and the deadline for this newspaper was approaching, it became clear that we were living our greatest nightmare! In spite of the comfort of the polls going into Election Day, Donald Trump bested Hillary Rodham Clinton and will be the next president of the United States.

Trumps complete incompetence and unfitness for the job notwithstanding, he managed to ride a wave of white rage to victory. The announcement by FBI director James Comey, 11 days prior to the election, no doubt played a part in this frightening turn of events, as did Clinton’s high negatives, but the outcome goes much deeper. Trump and Bernie Sanders tapped into a growing resentment of the political elites and globalization, something we fully understand and share. Tragically, Trump is

not the tonic that will change this worldwide dynamic and his racist rhetoric and narcissistic personality disorder is downright scary. Trump’s election has laid bare the serious flaws in the American psyche. It has ripped off so many layers of veneer and myth.

Make no mistake about it, Trump’s defeat of Clinton is an unmitigated disaster; this knownothing, misogynist, self-centered, pathological liar will lead the country into a hell of increased global warming, more tax breaks for the rich, a huge increase in the national debt, repeal of Obama care, more years of rightwing Supreme Court appointees that will threaten Roe vs. Wade, the constitutional right to same-sex marriage, the voting rights act among other very bad outcomes. And that is just on the domestic front. International relations are likely to be chaotic, utterly devoid of nuance. The world is very dangerous and there is noth-

By Bill Redmond-Palmer Sunday, November 20th will mark the eighteenth annual observance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR), where, friends, loved ones and allies gather to remember all those who have died as a result of hate and violence directed at Transgender and other gender non-conforming people. The day will offer both opportunities to mourn and reflect upon the lives lost in the previous year, as well as to celebrate and honor the people who have been lost, and the lives they lived.

In November 1998, the murders of trans women Channelle Pickett and Rita Hester in Boston inspired a local candlelight vigil and the creation of the international TDoR, now observed in dozens of countries and hundreds of cities providing opportunities to share grief and anger, appreciate the lives and gifts of those lost, and commit to work towards trans-inclusive social justice.

The second annual Transgender March

Perspectives on Trump’s win

November 11, 2016 | Volume XIV, Issue 14

ing in Trump’s statements and resume to suggest that he has the skill and temperament to navigate on the world stage. Because he lies nearly 80 percent of the time, who is going to believe him!

On the bright side of this catastrophic election, Marylanders elected Chris Van Hollen over Republican Kathy Szeliga and Green Party nominee Margaret Flowers to replace iconic Senator Barbara Mikulski.

And in Baltimore City, Catherine Pugh, the Democratic nominee, easily won over her Republican and Green rivals and last-minute write-in candidate, former mayor Sheila Dixon.

The election of Chris Van Hollen is assurance that the LGBTQ communities will have two friends representing Maryland in the US Senate. Mayor-elect Catherine Pugh also has a solid record on LGBTQ issues.

The 2016 presidential campaign has been pure torture and we will be living this tragedy for the foreseeable future.

We must contemplate what we have done wrong as a nation to come to this point eight years after the uplifting election of

President Obama. The dark demons have won! Nearly a century after women were given the right to vote, we are still waiting for the country to embrace a woman as president. In the meanwhile, we will have at least four years of this mean-spirited man who brags of grouping women without asking! Really! How did this happen? t —continued on page 3

Remembering Those Lost to Anti-Trans Violence of Resilience (TMoR) is the first nationally organized day of protest led by trans people of color to promote justice and equality for all trans people in the face of daily discrimination and violence. The TMoR seeks to raise awareness of the anti-Transgender violence faced daily by gender variant people, and to provide solidarity with the resilience of trans people across the country.

The march will begin at 4 p.m. at the Ynot Lot (4 West North Avenue, Baltimore). The march will be followed by a free community dinner with musical performances and

poetry. The event is sponsored by the Baltimore Transgender Alliance. For event updates and information on the TMoR, visit their Facebook event page by searching for “Bmore TMoR 2016: Baltimore’s Transgender March of Resilience.”

The sixth annual Montgomery County TDoR event will be held from 4 to 6 p.m. at the Montgomery County Executive Office Building (101 Monroe Street, Rockville).

They especially remember Zella Ziona and Keyonna Blakeney, trans women of color —continued on page 4

Chase Brexton & The LGBT Health Resource Center Believe

gender-diverse children & their families should have a strong network & specialized care.

IN 2015 WE LAUNCHED

GENDER JOURNEYS OF YOUTH AN INTEGRATED CARE PROGRAM FOR

GENDER-DIVERSE YOUTH LED BY NATIONALLY-RECOGNIZED

PEDIATRIC ENDOCRINOLOGIST

DR. ELYSE D. PINE

Honoring diversity.

Inspiring wellness.

Improving our communities.

chasebrexton.org/WeAreChaseBrexton ediatrics for her. Primary care for you. All in one location.

2t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

news

Election Disaster

—continued from page 1

Marriage Rights Threatened?

“My fiancee woke me up at four this morning to tell me that we have to have our wedding before Trump takes office. In all my pre-marital excitement, I hadn’t even considered that if he were to win this election, we may not be able to get married.

Now that this is a reality, we have to consider what his presidency will mean for our marriage, our children, our jobs, and our lives.” t – Jennifer Eden

Ashamed American

When Florida flipped to Trump leading, my stomach got tied up in knots. I’d been saying how his campaign reminded me of stories I’d heard as a child about Germany. I’ve never been ashamed to be an American, today I am. t – R ichard B. Pazornik

Dems Slit Their Own Throats

How did the Trump debacle happen? For answers, I’d urge reading some of the articles penned by Thomas Frank (author of What’s the Matter with Kansas? and Listen Liberal!). His diagnosis? The Dems betrayed the working class.

The Clintons are the essence of that betrayal – NAFTA, ending welfare, endless war, mass incarceration. They subsituted a phony, showy concern for all the particular rainbowed silos of identity politics and what – from their mouths – were hollow slogans about “equality” (except economic) and “human rights” (except where it conflicted with the demands of empire). The Clintons’ glib globalist universality was the thin facade on that underlying betrayal.

LGBTers really got sucked in to the mirage. The LGBT “identity elite” – those who make their money from the managing movement – are among the clerics of the order that crashed and burned on election day.

When people are denied politics – are denied the right to fight for their real interests – they turn to perverse fetishes.

As Noam Chomsky points out, what Americans want in poll after poll is access to health care, education, a secure retirement, educational opportunities that don’t lead to crushing debt. In the old days, Dems won by touting real accomplishments, like rural electrification and Social Security (which Hillary had plans to privatize). Substituting highly charged, frankly marginal issues – like transgender bathrooms – proved deeply alienating.

In a place like Egypt, where politics is choked off

by U.S.-sponsored elites, the result is fundy Islam, the horrors of ISIS. In the U.S. today, the loss of real political debate for its showy Hollywood substitute means the horrors of Trump.

The establishment Democrats slit their own throats. Clinton-Obama are police-staters with vicious policies – toward immigrants (Obama’s own mass deportations), toward Yemeni villagers dying in the thousands from American bombs, toward “sex offenders,” toward the rule of law, whatever the glitzy rhetorical packaging about “equality.”

So now the illusions are stripped away, and we have to fight – hopefully chastened and more honestly without devils’-deals with the economic elites, service to which were the Clintons’ and Obama’s first loyalties.

Writing the day after in the Manchester Guardian, Thomas Frank sums up the Democrats’ failure: “[T]here is a kind of chronic complacency that has been rotting American liberalism for years, a hubris that tells Democrats they need do nothing different, they need deliver nothing really to anyone – except their friends on the Google jet and those nice people at Goldman.

“The rest of us are treated as though we have nowhere else to go and no role to play except to vote enthusiastically on the grounds that these Democrats are the ‘last thing standing’ between us and the end of the world.

“It is a liberalism of the rich, it has failed the middle class, and now it has failed on its own terms of electability.” t – George Williard

Time to Act

Like many of you I am disappointed at the election outcome. First, thank you all who voted and took part in this election process. Next remember that our system of government is a system of checks and balances that you as citizens assure it lives up to our constitution. In other words, the door to equality does not stop at any one election. Your involvement is just as important now as it was before. Hillary won the popular vote. Like her we need to accept the outcome of this election with grace. As a man who has fought for social justice and human right for almost 50 years, I’ve lived through Nixon, Reagan, and George W. Bush Administrations and even then, we made inroads. Thank you, Secretary Clinton and President Obama, for your leadership but know that our walk towards equality continues and needs all of you more than ever working united for a more inclusive America. t – Mark Segal, publisher Philadelphia Gay News

Stay United

Sad and disappointed. I am very concerned about my community as a whole. We as LGBTQ people need to come together and stay united. t – Rik Newton-Treadway

a

Peace in Hard Times

What can I say? Words of hope and comfort?

No, I am saddened and scared by the events of the last 24 hours. Like many in the LGBTQ community, I now have to face family whose vote helped elect an agenda that threatens my marriage and the lives of many whom I love.

I am not sure how I will do that, but I know I will. There is a reason we speak of a “family of choice.” Today I need that family around me.

I have no words to make it better, but I know I have those around me who can surround me with love and in some small way, that will help bring peace. t – R ev . Dr . Robert A pgar-Taylor

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

3

news // LOCAL

King & Queen of Pride to be Crowned Remembering Those Lost to Anti-Trans Violence

By Bill Redmond-Palmer said Chasity Vain, BaltiThe outgoing king and queen more Queen of Pride 2016. will be honored, and a new king “I never knew the masand queen will be crowned, at sive amount of behind the the Baltimore King & Queen of scenes work that went on Pride 2017 Pageant, planned to make sure our commufor Saturday, November 19th at nity stays woven together, the Baltimore Eagle (2022 North and how much teamwork Charles Street, Baltimore). The is required to put on such doors will open at 6 p.m., and the a fabulous event such as pageant will begin at 7. General Chasity Vain, Baltimore Pride. I’m so glad admission is $10.

Tyger and myself were here Queen 2016 “This year has been a blast, to help support and lend and I have met so many amazing and in- a hand in such a pivotal year for Baltimore teresting people through working with the Pride, the GLCCB, and the community they GLCCB and corresponding organizations,” are nurturing and growing. Everything will soon be in full bloom!”

“My reign was an honor and a great opportunity to help my community in so many ways,” said Tyger St. James Black, Baltimore King of Pride 2016. “I

By Bill Redmond-Palmer was glad to be The LGBT Health Resource Center of Chase a part of many Brexton Health Services will be conducting a major events day-long professional development training in the comaimed at helping service providers to LGBT munity during elders. The training, “Silver and Golden: Best my reign, but Tyger Black St. James Practices for Serving LGBT Elders,” will be one thing that 2016 King of Pride held Friday, December 2nd, in the first floor stood out to community rooms in Chase Brexton’s Mount me was the support from Baltimore and BalVernon building (1111 North Charles Street, timore Pride following the Orlando shooting, Baltimore). and how we stuck together. While I will miss The training will cover topics ranging from being the Baltimore King of Pride, and helping current research in LGBT aging to address- the community with that title, I am committed ing the medical needs of transgender and to moving forward with helping the community gender-variant older adults. become stronger after my reign has ended.”

The training will cover topics ranging from The event will be hosted by Shawnna current research in LGBT aging to address- Alexander and David Allen. The event is ing the medical needs of transgender and co-sponsored by the GLCCB, the Baltimore gender-variant older adults, and will include Eagle Night Club and Bar, Baltimore OUTan abundance of vital information and best loud; Miss Gay Maryland America TJT, Hookpractices. The centerpiece of the day is an er & Boys, Dino Designs of Baltimore, and Elders of Color panel via a partnership with David Sugar.

Baltimore’s Center for Black Equity.

For more info, visit the Facebook event Registration is open until November 22nd page by searching for “Baltimore King & and the cost is $140. Social workers who at- Queen of Pride 2017” or contact the GLCCB tend will receive five CEU credits available at 410-777-8145 or info@glccb.org. t through the Maryland Board of Social Work.

The event is being co-sponsored by Heartlands Assisted Living at Severna Park, the Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Foundation, the Leonard and Helen R. Stulman Foundation, SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders), and the Center for Black Equity Baltimore. t Register at Tinyurl.com/silver-golden.

For more info, contact Chase Brexton’s Kate Bishop at 410-837-2050 x1095 or lgbt@ chasebrexton.org.

LGBT Elders: Best Practices Training

4t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

—continued from page 1 murdered in Gaithersburg and Rockville in the past year. “Now more than ever,” said Mycroft Masada, a local faith leader and event co-chair, “we seek to create a space where trans people and our allies can reflect on their roles in ending transphobic violence, and how transphobia intersects with racism, classism, and other forms of oppression.” The event (free, donations accepted) will include a program of speakers and music, quieter spaces with listener companions, a candlelight vigil, and a reception with food and resources – you’re welcome to join in at any point.

The location is Metro accessible via Rockville Station (Red Line) and several buses, and wheelchair accessible. For event updates and information on the Montgomery County TDoR visit their Facebook event at Fbl.me/MCMDTDOR2016; Twitter @ MCMDTDOR; fliers at Tinyurl.com/MCMDTDORflyerfull; and Tinyurl.com/MCMDT-

DORflyer4th; and view their press release at Tinyurl.com/MCMDTDORpressrelease.

The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance Candlelight Vigil and Memorial will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. in the sanctuary of the First Unitarian Church of Baltimore (12 West Franklin Street). The event traditionally includes an interfaith service, vigil, and reading of the names of those lost around the world in the past year, and names of Marylander’s lost over the past 23 years. The event is sponsored by the Transgender Response Team. Visit Tdorbaltimore.weebly.com or contact Jean-Michel Brevelle, coordinator at j_brevelle@ yahoo.com.

For general info on the Day of Remembrance, visit Tdor.info. t

Take Care of Yourself.

Sign up for health insurance.

We can help you find an affordable health insurance plan.

Our navigators provide free, one-on-one assistance.

Sign up by December 15th for January coverage.

Call 410-500-4710

Locations:

Baltimore | Reisterstown | Pasadena | www.hcamaryland.org

beyond the beltway an update on what’s happening, the progress that’s happened and the efforts in Uganda.”(Philadelphia Gay News – Jen Colletta at Epgn.com)

compiled by Jim Becker

Uganda gay activist returns for talk at Philly LGBT Center Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – It’s been five years since Dr. Frank Mugisha has visited the William Way LGBT Community Center to discuss the plight of LGBT Ugandans. He will again address the local community from 5 to 7 p.m. November 10th at William Way. The event is free but donations will be taken for Sexual Minorities of Uganda, of which Mugisha is executive director.

Mugisha said fundraising will go to support SMUG’s new program to assist victims of anti-LGBT violence in the country. “Because of the treatment people receive, my organization came up with a program directly supporting victims of violence [targeted] because of their sexual orientation and gender identity,” he told Philadelphia Gay News.

“The donations that come in will mainly sup-

Dr. Frank Mugisha

port individuals who are at risk or have had violations [of their rights].”

Mugisha’s 2011 visit to Philadelphia in part focused on the Ugandan legislation to outlaw homosexuality that initially included the death-penalty that was changed to life imprisonment. The legislation was later overturned by a court on procedural grounds; however, there has been discussion of reviving it. Mugisha said, “There’s more talk and dialogue so that’s a little bit of progress but that comes with so much more violations of our LGBT people. It triggered a lot of media attention and increased hostilities… As recently as August of this year, we had a raid on our parade, followed by police brutality and then my arrest,” he said. “So I’ll be giving

Over 20 years Dallas HIV hospice evolved to transitional care Dallas, Texas – When Clyde became too sick from AIDS to walk in 2002, he was flown by his mother to Dallas where she lived and put in hospice at the Legacy Founders Cottage, where, according to Cooper and other residents, “They loved me back to life.” Cooper said when he entered Legacy he really didn’t know what a hospice was. He didn’t know that it was a facility where people went to die. “I just never had any visions of [me] dying,” he said. And the staff at Legacy didn’t see that, either. He lived at the cottage for about a year-and-a-half and eventually was able to go back to work.

This year, Legacy Founders Cottage celebrates its 20th anniversary. Melissa Grove, executive director of Legacy Counseling Center, the agency that operates the cottage, was the cottage’s first director. “People were dying alone with no one to care for them,” Grove said. She took the job because her friend Randy had recently died of AIDS. The agency had secured a house in Oak Cliff to use as a hospice. “In those beginning days, everyone was dying,” Grove said. “Then, with some TLC, we began to nurse some people back to health.” Other than Grove, the entire staff was volunteers, and there was no money for food. Family, friends and community groups donated and cooked meals seven days a week.

A year after Legacy Founders Cottage opened, drugs came on the market that seemed to be keeping people alive. Then Founders Cottage evolved into something completely different. Instead of being a place where people came to die, it became a place where people came to live. In 2006, the facility expanded from four to seven rooms and received the designation of respite facility rather than hospice as it became more relevant than ever. Most residents stay for two to five months. (Dallas Voice – David Taffet at Dallasvoice.com)

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

5

beyond the beltway compiled by Jim Becker

High court to hear trans student’s case Washington, D.C. - The U.S. Supreme Court said on October 28th that it will review a Virginia case in which a transgender high school student sued his school district to be able to use a restroom corresponding to his gender identity. Gavin Grimm, now 17 and a senior in a Gloucester County, Virginia, high school, has identified as a boy for several years and began using the boys’ restroom at his school. During his sophomore year, some parents objected, and the school ordered him to use

Gavin Grimm (center)

restrooms that corresponded to his “biological gender.” Grimm then sued with the help of the ACLU, citing the Obama administration’s finding that Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 protects the rights of trans students through its prohibition of sex discrimination.

In April the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals based in Richmond agreed with Grimm, but the school district then appealed to the Supreme Court. At the same time, 23 other states challenged the Obama administration’s interpretation of Title IX. Since only one appellate court has ruled on the issue so far, the Supreme Court could have waited for other courts to weigh in on the issue, but the justices decided instead to hear the Virginia appeal. The case is likely to be heard by April and decided by late June. ”It would have been nice to spend less of my senior year worrying about where I’m going to be using the bathroom,” Grimm told USA Today. But he added that he’s ready for the fight at the Supreme Court “to make sure that trans kids that come after me do not have to go through this experience.” Grimm says that being forced to choose between a single-stall gender-neutral restroom or one in the school nurse’s office stigmatized him in front of other students. “They sent a very clear message to my peers that I was something different

and not fit for common spaces,” he said.

“The damage is done, and it’s been done significantly, and there’s nothing that will ever change that,” Grimm says of the school board’s decision. For him, school has become an unsafe, unwelcoming environment. “My favorite school activity,” he said, “is leaving school.” (Seattle Gay News – Mike Andrew at Sgn.org)

Teen girl in Weiner case criticizes FBI The teenage girl whose sexts with disgraced Rep. Anthony Weiner prompted an FBI investigation has joined the mounting criticism of FBI director James Comey.

The girl, now 15 but 13 at the time Weiner sent her sexually explicit texts, unwittingly became part of the U.S. presidential campaign October 28th, when Comey revealed that Weiner’s laptop held emails sent by Hillary Clinton’s aide Huma Abedin and said his agency would begin reviewing them. The girl said she was “‘upset”’ about being connected to the Clinton’s email issues.

“The FBI asked for me to speak to the media as little as possible. I have tried to stay quiet, but Comey has upset me,” the 15-year-old told BuzzFeed. “The last thing I wanted was to have this become political propaganda.” She said, “‘I was having self-esteem issues when this whole thing started with Anthony Weiner. Now as a result of my frailty, this could take down the U.S. presidential election. I mean, come on, who’s in charge of America?”

Editor’s note: On Sunday, two days before the election, Comey issued a second statement that agents had reviewed all of the new emails and that there was nothing in them that would change the original determination that no charges should be brought against Clinton.] (Seattle Gay N ews – Mike Andrew at Sgn.org)

Manning makes second suicide attempt Fort Leavenworth, Kansas – An article

by Associated Press that appeared in The Guardian reports that Chelsea Manning at-

tempted suicide for the second time in recent months while in prison in Kansas for leaking classified information, two of her attorneys said on Friday, November 4th.

Attorneys Vincent Ward and Chase Strangio declined to divulge details of Manning’s suicide attempt at a military prison at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas, reportedly on October 4th. Wayne Hall, an army spokesman, said medical privacy laws barred him from discussing the matter. But Manning’s attorneys cited her prison conditions – including the solitary confinement that her legal team says she received as punishment for her July suicide attempt – as contributing to their client’s fragile mental state.

Strangio, in an email to the AP, called Manning’s treatment since her 2010 arrest and subsequent time serving a 35-year sentence “demoralizing and destabilizing assaults on her health and humanity.” “After her July suicide attempt, I watched her begin to piece her life and spirit back together only to have that shattered by the disciplinary proceedings brought against her and then the unannounced initiation of her term of punishment last month,” Strangio wrote.

“She has repeatedly been punished for trying to survive and now is being repeatedly punished for trying to die.” Strangio added he worries about Manning’s “ability to keep fighting under these relentless abuses”.

Manning, arrested in 2010 as Bradley Manning, was convicted in 2013 in military court of leaking more than 700,000 secret military and state department documents to WikiLeaks.

Manning was an intelligence analyst in Iraq at the time. In 2014, the ACLU sued the U.S. Department of Defense over its refusal to treat Manning’s gender dysphoria.

Manning staged a several-day hunger strike in September until the army agreed to get her treatment for her gender dysphoria, including surgery recommended in April by her psychologist, the ACLU said. (The

These news notes have been compiled, with permission, from the online version of various newspapers and other web sites. We thank these publications for allowing us to bring you their news stories. Usually the reports have been significantly edited and you can read the full story by going to the web site mentioned following the item. Comments are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker and not of Baltimore OUTloud or Pride Media.

Guardian & Associated Press at Theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/04/chelsea-manning-second-suicide-attempt-attorneys-prison-sentence)

Judge questions Feds for running child porn site Tacoma, Washington – The Seattle Times reports that a federal judge said he has “ethical and legal” concerns over the Department of Justice’s decision to take control of a child-pornography bulletin board and allow the distribution of as many as 1 million illegal images while agents hacked the computers of the site’s visitors.

U.S. District Judge Robert Bryan also confronted Department of Justice (DOJ) prosecutors over their continued insistence that the government’s actions in taking over and secretly operating the “dark web” bulletin board for two weeks in 2015 were somehow innocent.

According to the article, Bryan presided over a two-day hearing in Tacoma on motions to suppress evidence gathered in that investigation against three Washington men – David Tippens, Gerald Lesan, and Bruce Lorente – who are accused of viewing and receiving child pornography.

He took the matter under advisement.

The Seattle Times article states that during the hearing, the deputy director of the DOJ’s New York-based Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section, Keith Becker, argued that allowing the site to remain active was an “investigative necessity.”

“The government itself did not post or create child pornography,” Becker told the court. Bryan interrupted him. “Y’all were doing just exactly what the people who were in charge of that website were doing before you arrested them,” he said. At another point, as Becker was describing the “huge social costs” that would result if the court were to exclude evidence in these cases, Bryan stopped him again. “You talk about social costs? There are huge social costs in constitutional violations, too,” the judge said. t (The Seattle Times – Mike Carter at Seattletimes.com/news/judge-has-ethical-and-legal-concerns-over-fbis-massivechild-porn-sting/)

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

9

Staff Profile Jennifer Eden

My name is Jennifer Eden. I am a poet, event organizer, and cat mom. I am also newly engaged to a woman who is my polar opposite and perfect complement. I’m a 28-year-old Baltimore native with a passion for people. I hold a bachelor’s degree in Communications from Bowie State University. French is my favorite language, fuchsia is my favorite color, and fall is my favorite season.

I began volunteering with the GLCCB in November of 2015. I came into the center one Sunday for Mind Travel Meditation, but it happened to be canceled that day. The staff and a team of volunteers were setting up for the next day’s Helping Hands Clothing Closet. They asked me to help, being the shoe lover that I am, I assigned myself the task of organizing the footwear. The next day, I came back to help with the distribution of clothing and food and felt at home among the staff and community members.

A few months later, the center was awarded a grant that called for a new Peer Navigator on staff. I dropped everything to take the position. It’s been just over four months since I began my new role and I couldn’t be happier with the work that I do.

Being able to use my talents to serve the LGBTQ+ community is extremely rewarding. As a Peer Navigator, I facilitate events to bring community members to the GLCCB and introduce them to our supports and services. My favorite event so far has been our Self-Care Fair, an opportunity for the community to try meditation, yoga, vision-boarding, and other creative techniques to prioritize their personal well-being.

I’m also the curator of the GLCCB’s monthly open mic, Giovanni’s Room. This event is one of only two open mics in Baltimore that provide a safe and affirming stage for LGBTQ+ poets, singers, rappers, dancers, and comedians of all levels of experience. Giovanni’s Room also provides a platform for chefs, artisans, and designers who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community to sell their wares. It’s important to me that Giovanni’s Room proves to be different from other open mics around the city by giving LGBTQ+ artists and vendors the rare opportunity to share their skills with their community without fear of judgment, ridicule, or undue scrutiny.

I’m constantly surprised by the number of young people we serve at the GLCCB. The majority of folks that we see are under 21. Some just need a listening ear, while others need housing, food, and clothing. I didn’t know the GLCCB existed when I was their age. Seeing them so free and comfortable in our space makes me wonder how different my teenage years may have been had I known of a space where I could truly be

10 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Jennifer Eden

myself.

When I’m not at the GLCCB, I’m writing, reading, or performing poetry. I’ve been writing poems and short stories since I was nine years old. Writing has been such a large part of my life for so long that I couldn’t imagine my life without it. My short stories are personal indulgences that are rarely shared, but I hope for my poetry to be my gift to the world. I’m currently working on my first book and plan to release it next summer.

I love myself. I love my work. For the first time in my life, I am truly comfortable in my skin and happy in my surroundings. It took me a long time and a lot of work to get here and I’m thankful for each hurdle I had to clear to accomplish it.

My coworkers would describe me as tactful and flexible. Each of our staff has identified virtues that we need to strengthen in our professional lives, and for me, they were tact and flexibility. We hold each other accountable in keeping these virtues present as we navigate our duties and responsibilities. I am very conscious of how I employ these virtues in my work relationships. And I think my coworkers would agree that tact and flexibility, and a little fun too, are present in our daily interactions.

Baltimore’s LGBTQ+ community contains a vast spectrum of skills, abilities, and resources. The GLCCB is always looking for ways to engage and assist the community. We host an array of programs every month, but there’s always more that can be done. We need the support of those in a position to give in order to meet the varying needs of our community and reach those in need of our support who may not even know we exist. The success of the center’s fundraising efforts is critical to the work that we do.

I hope to see the GLCCB continue to grow while I’m here. We have a dedicated and passionate team here who work day in and day out to ensure that we are truly fulfilling the mission of this organization. I’m proud to be a part of that team and happy to be a part of the GLCCB’s forward movement.

Sunday

Monday

tueSday

WedneSday

thurSday

November November 2016 2016

2530 N. Charles Street, 3rd Floor • Baltimore, MD 2121 • glccb.org 410-777-8145

13 Narcotics Anonymous

11:00am-1:00pm

14 The GLCCB closes at 6pm

No evening programs

15

Giovanni’s Room Poetry Workshop 6:30pm-8:30pm

SILhouette 7:00pm-9:00pm

20 Narcotics Anonymous

11:00am-1:00pm

21 The GLCCB closes at 6pm

No evening programs

22

Free & Confidential HIV Testing

16

-FreeState Justice Legal Clinic 3:00pm-5:00pm -Free & Confidential HIV Testing 6:30pm-8:30pm -The Mankind Project 6:30pm-8:30pm -TransBaltimore Red Carpet Dinner 7:00pm-9:00pm

23

Free & Confidential HIV Testing

6:30pm-8:30pm

6:30pm-8:30pm

SLAY CAMP Dance Fitness Class

The Mankind Project

6:30pm-8:00pm

6:30pm-8:30pm

Game Night

17

-Youth Against Oppression 4:30pm-7:00pm

Baltimore Trans-Masculine Alliance

Friday

11 12 Breaking Bread Alcoholics Project Anonymous 6:00pm-8:00pm

5:00pm-8:00pm

18

19 Alcoholics Anonymous

Drag Show 7:00pm-10:00pm

6:30pm-9:00pm

5:00pm-8:00pm

Vogue Night 6:30pm-9:00pm

24

Saturday

CLOSED

25 Breaking Bread Project 6:00pm-8:00pm

6:00pm-9:00pm

We’re All STARs By: Jennifer Eden HIV is a pressing issue within Baltimore’s LGBTQ community. The rate of new infections among youth is high and continuing to rise. The stigma surrounding sexual health in general prevents many from seeking and receiving the services they need. The GLCCB partners with community organizations to provide linkage to HIV testing and care. One of those organizations is STAR TRACK, an initiative of the University of Maryland Medical School’s Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine clinic.

STAR TRACK is an acronym that stands for Special Teens At-Risk, Together Reaching Access, Care and Knowledge. The organization has been active in serving LGBTQ youth and young adults in Baltimore since 1989.

A recent highlight by FreeState Justice states, “Recognizing the need for easily accessible, visibly affirming health services, health education and HIV resources for Black MSMs (men who have sex with men) and transgender women, STAR TRACK provides comprehensive and confidential health care, community education events, training, and advocacy around sexual health and HIV.” STAR TRACK’s focus on youth introduces HIV awareness and prevention tactics early on in the sexual lives of teens and young adults. This topic is unaddressed in many schools outside of abstinence-based sex education. And for many LGBTQ students, the sex ed they receive in school comes from a heteronormative standpoint and does not affirm their gender identity or sexual orientation.

Safe and affirming care for transgender and gender

non-conforming individuals is among STAR TRACK’s highest priorities. The program provides primary medical care for transgender youth & young adults, including nursing & case management by trans providers. Care includes hormone therapy, gender affirming surgery, and HIV specialty treatment.

Reproductive and pregnancy-related care, couples-based STI treatment, and non-medical case management are also among the services STAR TRACK provides.

Most STD clinics in the United States offer standard HIV testing, but STAR TRACK is one of only 14 clinics in the entire state of Maryland that offers rapid oral and blood testing. They also offer standard testing for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV. To maintain their focus on youth, STAR TRACK’s clinical services are only available to youth and young adults ages 12 to 26. Their outreach initiatives and GLCCB co-sponsored events, however, are open to those of all ages. They do PrEP Pop-Ups all over the city.

They’ve also hosted paint-and-sips, skate parties, and “PrEP After Dark” to incorporate conversations around sexual health in fun and unconventional settings.

STAR TRACK provides free and confidential rapid HIV testing at the GLCCB every Wednesday evening from 6:30pm to 8:30pm. They also host a monthly vogue practice session at the GLCCB where folks can learn to vogue, improve their skills, or just have fun. The next one will be held on Thursday November 17th at 6:00pm.

To learn more about STAR TRACK and the services they provide, visit the program’s Facebook page @StarTrackHealth or reach out via email at startrackteen@gmail.com.

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

11

quality of life

Truth & Love

Outreach

Rev. Jeffrey D. Harris

The Q in Me You know, running track, lifting weights, shoot the breeze with his other “jock” friends and discuss the local girls they taunted and so forth. However, today, it was extremely awkward. That feeling I mentioned earlier. Well, not for Sam, but me. Sam has always approached me with a towel wrapped around his waist showing off his muscles.

Sat down in front of me and literally have a whole conversation while drying off. Mentally I be like, “Dude, would you please wrap up? Or put some clothes on?” But today... something happened and it was wonky. Sam approached me rubbing that scruffy towel over his muscular body but this time my eyes followed his every swirl. It was like with every circular motion I became more and more enchanted as the towel went over his biceps, triceps, across his brown muscular chest, pecks sitting so high and round and that deep crease in the middle. Down went the towel over his six-pack and around that V waistline then thrust down across his pubic hairs and THAT’S WHERE I LOST IT! I lost my total thought. My heart beats were so fast, I swear they could be heard two aisles over. The thumping beats became deafening to me.

All of sudden I got lightheaded and heated as the blood thrust through every vein of my body. Literally, the movement of blood in my veins I felt. Understanding what was going on, I was totally oblivious. These emotions were coming from someplace which I had no clue! How? What? When? Where? Before I

12 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

knew it I felt my “manhood” stretching and growing until it was at full command and I stuttered over my words as I quickly made my way to escape him and the conversation.

“Oh my gawd, what just happened?” Where did those emotions come from? How could I…? Why did I…? Who am I…? Where did I…? When did I…? What does this mean?

What will my friends and family think? Does this mean I’m (sigh) gay? I have never... yes I’m a virgin! Never had a sexual encounter with a female and definitely never thought of sex with a dude. But Sam was a nice specimen of man! Golden brown, a man’s man!

The way he walked! He had that, what we call “swag”. He that slick type a dude! Slightly bow-legged and the way he talk. Even his voice and language compels you. All the girls like him. But now, he, umm, I… These thoughts are mine? Why is my psyche playing tricks on me? “I AM NOT GAY!” I really like the young lady in my science class. She is so beautiful and has a nice body.

All the way home though, continuously I saw Sam naked and talking to me, well I saw his lips moving but not a word could I hear.

Every time I visualized Sam drying himself, my level of arousal grew and grew. I didn’t know what to do. My thoughts were detailed – it was like he was still standing in front me.

The mental picture of him was as real as my hand, like reaching out to touch him was truly a possibility. What will he think of me?

What will my family think? I don’t even know what to think!

That walk home and the quietness-so loud and being concerned about what the locals thought of me were the last of my worries.

Nightfall came not fast enough. Thinking this was some type of crazy dream and when morning comes it will all be over. Well, the night seem to last way too long. Sleep was not my friend. She ran quickly and so as I pondered today’s events and what it all meant. No resolution. t

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Lesbian Love

Barb Elgin

willing to drive at least an hour or so, there are probably enough “compatible enough” women for me to meet. This is where I did get stuck – I really don’t want to drive back and forth an hour (or a bit more) to date someone right now. This is called being honest and realistic, not lazy or uncommitted. Sadly, one of the best connections I’ve made, for example, is with a woman in Florida! Will something come of this, who knows? I’ll keep you posted…

My experience squares with the frustration many women-who-love-women feel: Why can’t I find love like straight folks do, right in my own town?

My reality seems to not match my needs and perspective. The lesbian’s lament!

I tried another mainstream site recently – one focused on people attracted to health and spirit. However, when I dug just a bit below the surface, it seemed their selection of lesbians in my area is sorely lacking. I won’t make the mistake of buying a membership with them. They are “baiting” me however. This morning they emailed me a picture of an attractive woman who lives in Washington, D.C. Do I bite? My free trial is over so now I have to fork over the bucks to have the ability to reach out to her. Most likely given my experience on dating sites, she’s probably not been on that site for months or years!

Even the huge-est online dating site in the world, of which I was a member awhile back did this trick well.

So here’s my proposal: If you are reading this and you are a dating coach or other helper who has had great success in connecting women with each other or you are someone who found love online and you are willing to share how you succeeded at using otnline dating to do so, I’d love to interview you. Look me up and we’ll talk! t Barb Elgin, MSW and Certified Singles Coach, has been coaching and counseling single, dating and coupled lesbians for over 25 years. When she’s not helping others, she’s having fun playing pickle-ball, walking her two rescue chihuahuas or hanging with friends and family. If you’re interested in connecting with other women-who-lovewomen in healthy ways, join Barb’s complimentary email list here: Lastinglesbianlove. com/lesbian-social-and-travel-with-heart.

Barb’s Online Lesbian Dating Adventure November update

Time to check in with you on my online dating adventures! Well, I’ve been a paid member of a particular mainstream (vs. LGBT or lesbian-only) online dating site for almost six months now and I’m getting ready to cut bait with them when the subscription ends later this month. I like this site’s interface but am curious to see what else is out there.

I’ve been on the site almost every week on more than one occasion and I’ve had many conversations with women o n the site. For a few, things have even progressed to phone conversations. In fact one woman has turned into a colleague!

But, sadly, no in-person meetings or dates yet. The phone connections I’ve developed are with women outside the travel time/distance I want. I must say I’ve been the one more active most of the time in suggesting we meet, on average. But somehow we’ve been like ships passing in the night. And travel distance is not the only deal breaker.

Do I now beat myself up for this state of affairs? Of course not. This is the process, when you’re single, over 40, a busy professional, a member of a minority group, relationship-experienced (have standards) but are open to love. Yes, some of my results I chalk up to me just not being focused enough at times. Other things have taken a greater priority in my life these past six months. I meant it when I said it in a previous article: I don’t need a relationship at all and the only type I want would be the cherry on top of a sundae.

Sadly, the site I am using is a nationally known and popular site. There seem to be plenty of lesbian and bisexual women on the site, but not many compatible enough to me in my area. I even attempted to “cast my net wider” in searching. As long as I am

quality of life

Ask

Dr. J

Janan Broadbent, Ph.D.

Holidays Upon Us Does that title make you feel all warm and fuzzy, or does it fill you with dread? Either way, why?

We have all heard the perennial jokes about Uncle Ed who gets tipsy at every Thanksgiving dinner and starts to hassle everyone about their political beliefs or Aunt Mary who wants everyone to eat five helpings of turkey with gravy and cranberry sauce. Those aside, it seems more common to hear about difficult situations especially involving partners’ parents or families. What to make of this?

It takes real effort to prepare for occasions where you are playing host, but it also takes effort to be the guest. Social interactions are two-way streets: When we shake hands, or hug, it is two people cooperating in that gesture or act. Likewise, I attend your dinner, and you receive me as the attendee. There are expectations on both ends. Any social intercourse will work well when those expectations are compatible. It is when they falter or don’t sync that conflicts start to ensue. So if you dread the holiday gatherings, what in the past has made you look for something that is not there? Conversely, what is it that you think is wanted from you that you are now unwilling or unable to give?

There are introverts and extroverts, those who like being by themselves most of the time, those who prefer to be with others more frequently, and perhaps those who are in between. We do know that the physical space people want between themselves and others varies, even by geography. A generalized conclusion that seems true: Northern Europeans like more distance between individuals than people from the Mediterranean region. So it is that there are families where hugging, kissing, or saying I-love-you is the norm.

There are also families where those behaviors are rarely exhibited. Put those two family members together where there are couples, and you are sure to run into the dread situation.

Another complication is that sometimes one person gets along well with their partner’s family, but the reverse does not follow. Now you have a situation possibly involving jealousy, or at least an imbalance.

However one may end up in this conflict, what is the best way to deal with it?

Holidays will be coming for as long as we live. So how to make the best of it? To start with, accept that perhaps your expectations may not be met. That could mean the event goes better than you predict. Then hooray! Focus on the positive aspects of this venture: Good food? Maybe a nice drive to the place? Possibly being able to watch a game or show at least part of the time? Then, the year after, decide to make a new tradition of your own and your partner’s. Go out of town, or gather friends for a change, and declare it to the families as a new way you are handling your life. You have every right to claim your own ways of celebrating. Then too, you may be one of those who enjoy all holiday times with your loved ones.

In either case, carpe diem! T

Narratives on

New Beginnings Merrick Moses

Resilience While Trans

A funny thing happened on the way to freedom... resilience! Resilience, according to Google, is “the ability of a substance, object or [person] to spring back into shape.” It is apparent given today’s circumstance that trans folks are resilient and resisting systems of oppression.

Living while trans is a thing, a real thing.

It came to my attention from a sister on the frontlines of the battle for trans rights in North Carolina, that trans folks are not just sitting idly by waiting for salvation. We are actively working to repeal HB2 and to elect candidates who have our best interest at heart. In fact, on the eve of election day, trans folk’s door knocking for Hillary were harassed by residents and had the police called on them at least twice for doing nothing but being trans while campaigning. There were some folks in the trans door knocking delegation that did not want these incidents to get out but we have to let folks know what we are facing. We cannot suffer these indignities in silence. Haven’t we learned that silence equals death?

Our resilience depends on raising our voices to tell our stories and speak out against discrimination and transphobia. Our voice and our visibility are the springboards of justice.

As I sit at the feet of elders in our community, I am struck by their harrowing stories of survival and near-death experiences.

Listening to trans men and trans women

recount “back in the day” when they had to go through extraordinary lengths to get hormones and basic health care creates within me a profound sense of thanks and gratitude.

Their sacrifices paved the way for us to have what we have today. And by no means are we living lives in total freedom, but what we do have in many respects is progress. From the first black president to be the first president to publicly say the word transgender in a speech to being able to change birth gender and names without proof of surgery on one’s birth certificate, we have made significant progress. But we all know we are far from total freedom of life and liberty. There is still more work to do but we must acknowledge the wins we have had on the way to total victory. It is imperative that we celebrate ourselves even while we fight.

What gives me hope is our ability to make a way out of what seems no way. What gets

“What gets me up in the morning is the thought there is a kid like me somewhere in the world who needs to see a grown man like me.” me up in the morning is the thought there is a kid like me somewhere in the world who needs to see a grown man like me and know that transition is possible. What makes me thankful is the opportunity to live one more day knowing that I walk in alignment and authenticity and that there are thousands who do daily. Truthfully, there are a great cloud of witnesses, seen and unseen, who bear witness to our presences, our selves, and our struggle for a better day. In fact, they silently cheer us. These are ancestors, spirit friends, and loved ones who continue to light our way to freedom someday. t

Law Office of David M. Lutz, P.A. •Auto Accidents

•Workers’ Compensation

•Personal Injury

•DUI/DWI

•Criminal Defense

•Traffic Court

Se Habla Español

1901 Fleet Street Baltimore, MD 21231 Phone: 410-558-3700 (English) 410-299-2898(Español) E-mail: LawLutz@aol.com www.lawlutz.com BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

13

Quality of Life // Health & Wellness

PrEP Users: Test for STIs Every Three Months

by Lynda Dee IDWeek 2016 was held in New Orleans from October 26th through 31st. This is a joint meeting of groups like the Infectious Disease Society of America and the HIV Medicine Association which is an association of the HIV doctors.

Another study presented at IDWeek from the Fenway Health Clinic in Boston confirmed significantly rising rates of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia since 2011. The bad news is that using preexposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to prevent HIV was associated with higher risk of acquiring sexually transmitted infections (STIs). But the good news is that more frequent STI testing and treatment has the potential to reduce increased cases of STIs. Recent studies in gay and bisexual men have shown that if Truvada for PrEP is used consistently, it reduces the likelihood of HIV infection by more than 90%. Although there has been concern that using PrEP would lead to decreased condom use, resulting in higher STI transmission, this “risk compensation” was not seen in clinical trials. Nevertheless higher rates of STIs have been consistently reported in some PrEP demonstration projects and other realworld use.

14 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

Electronic health records were used by Douglas Krakower from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and his team to analyze trends in PrEP use and STI rates at Fenway Health, a wellknown and highly respected HIV clinic that specializes in care for the LGBTQ community.

Data was reviewed from a total of 19,238 men who received care at the clinic at least one time from 2005 to 2015. Approximately, 75% of the cases reviewed were of white men, 6% were black, and 10% were Latino.

Forty-three percent identified as gay and 3% as bisexual. But half did not report any sexual orientation.

According to Krakower, the rise in PrEP use in over the past 5 years among HIVnegative clients, has been “very rapid and steep”, the number of Fenway clients receiving prescriptions for Truvada for PrEP rose from just five in 2011 to 960 in 2015. Fourteen percent of all men seen at the clinic for any reason received a PrEP prescription last year.

Eighteen percent of men seen at the clinic were diagnosed with at least one STI between 2005 and 2015. STIs included 7% with gonorrhea, 7% with syphilis, and 9% with chlamydia. Almost all of these STI cas-

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

es occurred in men who have sex with men.

By 2015, 14% of HIVpositive people and 25% of HIVnegative PrEP clients had at least one STI. Krakower emphasized that even though this data looks definitive, it is nevertheless “hard to infer causality” from this type of data without more information because a substantial number of men who were HIVnegative and not using PrEP also got STIs. All three STIs rose over time. Between 2000 and 2015, syphilis increased with an accelerated rise starting around 2011. Rates of gonorrhea were relatively stable from 2003 through 2010, but increased dramatically in 2011 a “near astronomical rise,” according to Krakower. Even though the number of clinic patients doubled during this period, gonorrhea cases nearly quadrupled. The clinic has noted chlamydia cases since 2011 which have increased significantly and consistently since 2011. Unfortunately, the combined number of STIs at Fenway rose from 162 in 2005 to 1329 in 2015.

Being HIVpositive and using PrEP were both independently associated with a greater likelihood of being diagnosed with STIs in a statistical analysis. Being African-American or of mixed race, and being on Medicaid, un-

insured, or without stable health insurance were also associated with a higher STI risk.

At an IDWeek press conference previewing meeting highlights, Pablo Tebas of the University of Pennsylvania noted, “This work really emphasizes the need to educate people when they are receiving PrEP about the risk of acquiring sexually transmitted infections.”

Because regular clinic visits are recommended for HIVnegative people on PrEP, there are more opportunities for frequent STD testing and prompt treatment. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s PrEP guidelines recommend STI tests at least every six months, but state that some people may benefit from more frequent testing. But results from the PrEP Demo Project, which enrolled atrisk gay men and transgender women in San Francisco, Miami, and Washington, D.C., recently reported that 40% of chlamydia, 34% of gonorrhea, and 20% of syphilis cases would have been undiagnosed if STI screening had been done every six instead of every three months. The message here is clear. If you are HIV and/or if you are using PrEP, you should be tested for STIs. t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

15

Lively Arts // personalities

By Gregg Shapiro There is an entire generation of queer and straight people that grew up watching actress Charlotte Rae on television. First as Molly the Mail Lady on “Sesame Street” and later as Mrs. Edna Garrett, the beloved housemother on the popular 80s primetime sitcom “The Facts of Life.” But there is so much more to Rae, including the many years she spent as a stage actress and singer, as well as all the TV commercials she did in the early days of her career. Rae’s aptly-titled memoir The Facts of My Life (Bearmanor Media, 2016) tells you everything you could every possibly want to know about her, including what occurred when her husband came out to her as bisexual. I had the pleasure of speaking with Rae, who turned 90 earlier in 2016, about the book.

Gregg Shapiro: What inspired you to tell your story at this time in your life?

Charlotte Rae: A couple of years ago my son (and co-author Larry Strauss) said to me, “Ma [laughs], you’re 87½. I think it’s time you wrote your memoirs.” I said, “I’m not a writer.”

He said, “Well, I am.” He’s a wonderful writer.

He’s written many novels. He said, “You talk and I’ll write.” I’m glad we did. After I started telling my story, my history, I realized I was going to let it all hang out. All of it. And I did.

The real truth of everything. Yeah, that’s what I did.

GS: So, are you someone who kept a journal or a diary from which you could draw on these memories?

CR: No, I didn’t. But it was wonderful having Larry there. I talked about the struggles we had with my firstborn Andy with his autism. All of the challenges for him and for us, because it was so many years ago and nobody knew about autism. Then all about alcoholism, my husband and me, and then later on, after 25 years of marriage, my darling (husband) John (Strauss) told me he was bisexual.

GS: You write about being from Milwaukee and Shorewood, and you attended college at Northwestern in Evanston. What kind of impact do you think being from the Midwest had on you personally and professionally?

CR: Coming from the Midwest, which I love very much, Milwaukee was wonderful, but New York really opened my eyes. There were so many different nationalities and marvelous artists. I felt like I was home for the first time in my life when I went to New York; all these young people who were musicians and

Rae of Light

actors and dancers and artists. It was a wonderful experience.

GS: How long did it take for you to write the book with your son Larry?

CR: I think, on and off, about a year.

GS: You mentioned that you were, in your words, going to “let it all hang out.”

Did you have a discussion with Larry about how much you would be including personal details about him prior to working with him on the book?

CR: Yes, absolutely. He was very accepting and loving. We loved his dad. There was no problem with that. Dad was dad. He was a terrific dad.

GS: You also mentioned alcoholism, which is another subject in the memoir about which you are especially forthcoming; drinking and your more than 40 years of sobriety. Was it important for you to include that in the book?

CR: Very important! Not that I want people to join me. I’m not trying to get people to join Alcoholics Anonymous. That’s not what we’re supposed to do. I just want them to know that I did have a problem and I’m eternally grateful for this program. I still go to meetings. It’s just incredible. I don’t want to sell it to people [laughs].

That’s not the point. It saved my life. I can’t go in to detail because you’re not supposed to advertise it. But it’s a warm, wonderful community and you learn how to be of service to other people. You learn how to change your attitudes. It’s extraordinary.

I owe everything to Alcoholics Anonymous.

GS: Throughout the book you have kind words to say about other actors, but you didn’t pull any punches when it came to speaking your mind about other actors who might not have been nice to work with, such as Peter Bull and Bern Hoffman. Did it feel good to get that off your chest?

CR: Yeah. Normally, I don’t do that sort of thing [laughs]. Bern Hoffman, I loved him afterwards, but it was hideous working with him.

Peter Bull was so anti-Semitic. That was so shocking to me. Smiling at you and then writ-

An interview with actress Charlotte Rae

ing such a vicious thing. It was very upsetting to me. I don’t wish them any ill. It’s just that they were very offensive to me.

GS: In the chapter titled “Earthquakes,” you write about, as you mentioned, your ex-husband John’s coming out as bi, saying “no need to condemn the man for being human.” Later you also write about seeing him and his partner in a social setting. Do you have any advice for people going through a similar situation?

CR: Well, I did go through a period of feeling less than a woman and feeling betrayed.

But then I realized that he was going through an awful lot at that time. It was a very hushhush period. It was not acceptable then. He was going through what he was going through.

Because he joined Alcoholics Anonymous after me, his sponsor told him that he had to tell me what was going on in his life. That was very helpful. It is hard on the woman because one takes it personally; that there’s something wrong with you rather than it’s just a fact of life. It took a while for me to accept that there

was nothing wrong with me. It was just his needing to be who he is and moving on with his life. We got a divorce and I moved on with mine. It was tough. I don’t know what to tell (someone in a similar situation), because I did suffer. Maybe today it’s more acceptable. I don’t think it’s quite as unusual today.

GS: You also have a wonderful history of other gay men in your life, including classmate Paul Lynde, as well as Charles Nelson Reilly, and playwrights Terence McNally, Arthur Laurents and Stephen Sondheim. You also write about attending the same-sex wedding of your granddaughter Nora. What do the LGBT people in your life mean to you?

CR: [Laughs] they’re wonderful! Just like everybody else. Nora and her wife Katrina just had a baby. Katrina is a little older than Nora, so they chose her to have the first baby. The baby’s name is Louisa and I’m a great grandmother. They’re two very bright women. They live in Boston and work for universities. It’s simply wonderful! It’s all about love, isn’t it?

GS: Absolutely! Finally, if there was a movie version of The Facts of My Life, who would you want to play you?

CR: [Laughs] Meryl Streep! Meryl Streep can do anything. t

FROM ALL OF US AT BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

19

Lively Arts // QMUSIC

Holiday Hootenanny

By Gregg Shapiro There’s something so wonderful about holiday standards sung a cappella. Wouldn’t you agree? Pentatonix, featuring gay members Mitch Grassi and Scott Hoying, certainly does. A Pentatonix Christmas (RCA) brings the a cappella group’s holiday release tally to three, including the 2012 EP PTXmas and 2015’s full-length That’s Christmas To Me. In addition to two originals, “The Christmas Sing-Along” and “Good To Be Bad,” the quintet adds its distinctive touch to holiday favorites including “O Come All Ye Faithful,” “Up on the Housetop,” and “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” Pentatonix also earns points for teaming up with the legendary Manhattan Transfer on “White Christmas” and digging out Nsync’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” The five-voice group also performs a lovely rendition of Leonard Cohen’s oft-covered “Hallelujah,” although the appropriateness

of the song’s inclusion on a disc of Christmas songs is puzzling to say the least.

Acoustic Christmas (Capitol) by Neil Diamond, who is sounding more and more like fellow yeshiva bocher Leonard Cohen with each passing year, contains more sweet caroling (get it?) from the music legend. “Children Go Where I Send Thee” and “Go Tell It On The Mountain” are given the full gospel treatment when Diamond is joined by The Blind Boys of Alabama. Living up to the claim of the title, Diamond delivers acoustic versions of familiar holiday numbers including “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” “Silent Night,” “O Holy Night” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” He also unwraps a pair of new original songs, “Christmas Prayers,” and “Make a Happy Song” (included in the disc’s “Christmas Medley”).

On his first solo Christmas album, ’Tis The Seasons (Rhino), Frankie Valli reteams with fellow Four Season Bob

Adding some musical pink and lavender to the red and green

Gaudio, who acts as producer. You almost wish that Valli had done something like this sooner, when his voice still had its earlier strength. Nevertheless, it’s nice to hear what Valli does with tinsel tunes such as “The Christmas Song,” “Merry Christmas, Baby” (on which he is joined by Jeff Beck), a disco-y “Frosty the Snowman,” Not just fun & “Let It Snow…” games and “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve.” Susan Boyle’s A Wonderful World (SYCO / Columbia), with its leafless snow-covered trees and the suggestion of snowflakes in her hair on the cover, is a holiday album without ever stating the obvious.

Angels dominate on ABBA’s “I Have a Dream” and Robbie Williams’s “Angels,” while Boyle’s as schmaltzy as all get out on An American Tail’s “Somewhere Out There” (a duet with

in the

Michael Bolton, no less) and her reading of McCartney’s “Mull of Kintyre” verges on the patriotic. The real surprise is how she cleans up Madonna’s “Like A Prayer.” No icon smooching there.

It’s fitting that on the 20th anniversary of the release of the first Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas album that there is a new one, The Ghosts of Christmas Eve (Atlantic/Rhino) hitting store shelves. If the seasonal sentiments of Pentatonix, Neil Diamond, Frankie Valli and Susan Boyle are far too tame for your liking, then prog-rock act Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s rock-opera style version of holiday music just might your cup of spiked eggnog. In addition to its interpretations of “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “O Holy Night,” Trans-Siberian Orchestra adds ten of its own original compositions to the Christmas music canon. t

Holidays

Tom Hall, Music Director

with Baltimore Choral Arts

Christmas with Choral Arts Tuesday, December 6, 2016 at 7:30 pm The Baltimore Basilica, 409 Cathedral Street

Celebrate the holiday season with this annual tradition, performed in the historic Baltimore Basilica. Tickets: $25-75

Sing-Along Messiah Friday, December 16, 2016 at 7:30 pm Kraushaar Auditorium at Goucher College

Join in singing the choruses of Handel’s Messiah, or just enjoy the surround-sound! Tickets: $25 Call 410-523-7070 or visit BCAsings.org

TobysDinnerTheatre.com

20 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Lively Arts // qmusic

The Gift of LGBT Music

By Gregg Shapiro It’s hard to imagine the spectrum of music without the contributions of LGBT artists. So don’t even try. From show tunes to country music, from indie rock to jazz, queer musicians continue to have a presence you can hear and feel.

Not just a stage – A loving homage to the both the popular disaster movies (i.e. The Poseideon Adventure and Airport 1975) and the music (“Hot Stuff,” “Theme From Mahogany,” “I Will Survive” and “You’re My Best Friend,” among others) of the 1970s, Disaster: Original Broadway Cast Recording (Broadway Records) is co-written by gay Broadway maven Seth Rudetsky and out actor Jack Plotnick.

The double-disc 2015 New York Cast Brandy Recording of A Clark New Brain (PS Classics) by William Finn (Falsettos) and his collaborator James Lapine, features Jonathan Groff, Christian Borle and Ana Gasteyer, to mention a few of the cast members.

The two-CD original cast recording of the chamber musical First Daughter Suite (Ghostlight / Razor & Tie) by gay composer / lyricist Michael John LaChiusa features Tony nominees Mary Testa as Barbara Bush and Alison Fraser as Betty Ford and Nancy Reagan.

For queer hipster ears – Teens of Denial (Matador), the eagerly anticipated second album by Car Seat Headrest (aka Will Toledo) doesn’t disappoint, delivering on the promise of 2015’s Teens of Style with brilliant numbers such as “Destroyed

By Hippie Powers,” “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales,” “Vincent,” and “(Joe Gets Kicked Out of School for Using) Drugs With Friend (But Says this isn’t a Problem).”

Led by trans rock legend Laura Jane Grace, Against Me! returns with Shape Shift With Me (Total Treble), while not as remarkable as 2014’s Transgender Dysphoria Blues, it includes outstanding songs such as “Delicate, Petite & Other Things I’ll Never Be,” “12:03,” “Haunting, Haunted, Haunts,” and “All This (And More),” and “Rebecca.”

For I Had A Dream That You Were Mine (Glassnote) openly gay Rostam Bat-

manglij of Vampire Weekend fame has teamed up with Hamilton Leithauser of The Walkmen to form Hamilton Leithauser and Rostam for one of the most compelling collaborations of the year.

Queer country queens – Big Day in a Small Town (WB), the official major-label debut by lesbian singer/songwriter Brandy Clark is a masterpiece. Seriously. One of the queerest and best artists in Nashville, Clark’s songs have been covered by others (see Kacey Musgraves), but nothing beats hearing Clark singing the title tune, “Three Kids No Husband,” “Soap Opera,” Homecoming Queen,” and the heartbreaking “You Can Come Over.”

Publicly out a few years before Clark (and Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman), Chely Wright returns with I Am The Rain (Megaforce), her first album in almost six years. Produced by Joe Henry (Madonna’s brother-in-law to some of you), and featuring guest artists Rodney Crowell (producer of Wright’s previous album), Emmylou Harris and The Milk Carton Kids, I Am The Rain is a dazzling, stripped down affair that is not to be missed.

Jazz hands – Gay jazz pianist and composer Fred Hersch, who has been a recording artist for more than 30 years, performs originals and covers (including the Beatles’ “For No One”) on Sunday Night at the Vanguard (Palmetto) with John Herbert on bass and Eric McPherson on drum on this latest offering from The Fred Hersch Trio.

On Songs of Life (Miranda Music), Scott Morgan, Fred Hersch’s partner, covers three of Hersch’s songs, as well a mix of vintage (“Lost In The Stars,” “I’m Just A Lucky So and So”) and contemporary (the Beatles’ “I Will,” James Taylor’s “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight,” and “Secret O’ Life” ) standards.

Lesbian drummer extraordinaire Allison Miller is as well-known for her solo albums as she is for her collaborations and work as an in-demand session musician. Two of Miller’s most recent collaborations include Swivel (Little 1 Music) as part of the Honey Ear Trio (along with Jeff Lederer and Rene Hart) and Lean (Music Wizards) with Jerome Sabbagh and Simon Jermyn. t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

21

22 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

ON SALE NOW! DEC. 6-11 BaltimoreHippodrome.com • 800.982.ARTS Groups 10+ Save! Call 443.703.2401

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

23

out & ABOUT // David’s Thoughts

Portland, Maine | Cool, Coastal, Close

by David Placher Portland, Maine, is a wonderful city to visit for a weekend trip from Baltimore.

Located on the Casco Bay, offshore Portland is replete with awesome islands. On land’s edge, the city’s waterfront features restaurants, shops, and working finishing

Charming, sophisticated, northern – Portland downtown

wharves. Portland also has an inclusive feel, with several LGBT venues, including Blackstones, Portland’s oldest gay bar, and Styxx, a popular gay club. The state, however, has a very complex LGBT history, filled with setbacks and successes.

Maine recognizes this roller coaster and supports efforts to preserve its LGBT history. The LGBT community in Maine continues to grow. Recently, Bustle news, a media outlet that focuses on women’s issues, rated Maine as one of the best places to live for LGBTers.

Traveling to Maine on a tight budget requires a small amount of planning because a direct flight to Portland’s small airport can be expensive. However, a trip from Baltimore to Boston, a city with a larger airport, on Southwest Airlines, JetBlue, or Spirit can

24 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

cost around $45 on special deals. A return flight is around the same. (You may have to fly in on one airline and out on another, so plan.) The drive from Boston to Portland is about an hour-and-a-half. Car rentals can cost as little as $22 each day, plus the extras. If you use a discount hotel search web site – such as Priceline. com—you can find a three-star hotel for as little as $71 a night. A total weekend trip can be as little as $320.

Maine is the 42nd most populous state. It’s known for its cold climate, rocky coastline, mountains, thick forests, picturesque waterways, and its seafood -- more specifically, its lobsters.

Maine’s history is founded on being independent.

At one time, Maine was part of Massachusetts – until 1820, when it voted to secede.

On March 15th, 1820, it was admitted into the U.S. as the 23rd state. Maine’s original capital was Portland, until it moved to Augusta in 1832 to make it more central within the state.

The LGBT movement gained traction in 1976, when Maine repealed its statutory criminalization of same-sex sexual activity.

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

No need to stay thirsty in Portland!

Maine’s Long Island, right off the Portland coast

However, Maine took a negative view towards gay marriage and banned it in 1997.

In 2004, Maine allowed partnerships for same-sex couples, and eventually passed a law on May 6th, 2009 to allow samesex marriage. However, Maine voters disagreed with the state legislator’s decision and on November 3rd of that year repealed it by referendum.

On November 7th, 2012, a majority of Maine voters by referendum legalized same-sex marriage. (This all predates the June 26th, 2015 Supreme Court favorable decision towards gay marriage.)

Maine permits single LGBT persons and same-sex couples to adopt. It also has hate-crime laws that explicitly addresses sexual orientation, but it does not address violence based on gender identity.

The LGBT history of Maine is being preserved by the University of Southern Maine. In 1997, it established the Jean Byers Sampson Center for Diversity. Its goal is to collect primary and secondary historical materials on the experiences of diverse groups in Maine.

On an election side note: Maine (and Nebraska) applies its electoral votes to a presidential candidate differently.

Maine has a total of four electoral votes (two congressional districts and two U.S. senators) and Maine allocates two electoral votes to the popular vote winner, and then one each to the popular vote winner in each congressional district. This creates multiple popular vote contests, in which could lead to a split electoral vote. This structure is distinguishable from almost all the other states

“Recently, Bustle rated Maine as one of the best places to live for LGBTers.” because the others use a “winner take all” system.

Maine’s LGBT movement has made progress within the last few decades. Although it needs to move further to address gender-identity issues, Maine is moving in the right direction. With Maine being a short trip from Maryland, this place should be on anyone’s travel list. t

out in the valley

Parenting OUTloud

Rev. Kelly Crenshaw

The Cult When I first became a parent, more years ago than I care to admit, no one warned me about the perils of parenting adult children. They talked about the terrible twos and threes. I was warned about the terrors of hormonal pre-teens. There were no real surprises with the teenage years. However, no one mentioned the fact that parenting responsibilities don’t go away when our children become adults.

Recently, one of my boys came back home. He’s 20 years old and has been gone from our house for about two years. First of all, let me say that I’m not an advocate of children leaving home at 18. I have met very few 18-year-olds who are able to make it on their own. And, my son Zack was no exception. He left home because he didn’t like the rules. You know the ones. Go to school. Keep your room clean. Help out around the house. Don’t be a jerk to your siblings and parents. So, when being human got to be too much for him, he walked away.

It was a rough road for Zack. He ended up in a local homeless shelter and found that life wasn’t quite what he’d dreamed. A week later, he was discovered by a group who offered free room and board in exchange for help on their farm. It sounded ideal. He moved in.

I have to admit that they delivered on their initial promise of room and board in exchange for work. He had food in his belly and a warm place to sleep. He learned skills and developed a strong work ethic. For that, we are grateful. It’s the rest of the story that doesn’t sit so well.

He was involved with a cult. They are known as the Twelve Tribes or The Community. Their compounds are found all over the world. The group lives in a communal living situation where they all work for the betterment of the community. No one is paid. They homeschool their children, who appear well behaved and respectful. They operate delis and tearooms and farm markets. They have a soap factory and sell their soaps to major cosmetic companies for resale. They advocate for organic food. And, they believe that their brand of religion is the only option. All others are doomed.

Zack melted into the communal life. He

changed his name to a Hebrew name, as required by the community. He worked in the bakery and helped with the group’s tree-trimming business. And then, about two months ago, he called home and wanted to see us, or more specifically, he wanted to see me. The leaders were perfectly willing to bring him to our home, as long as someone came with him. When we said that we weren’t particularly comfortable with someone accompanying Zack, then the arrangements became difficult. He was living in a community about 30 minutes from our home, so I agreed to head over there one afternoon after church.

I went to their farm market. It seemed like a pretty popular place, with lots of customers and well stocked shelves.

My reception was mixed.

The people were nice enough, on the surface.

But, many of them never smiled. The children that I saw didn’t laugh or play.

They stood politely in the shadows and waited for instruction. Zack later told me that they aren’t supposed to laugh and smile because the leaders said that Jesus never did. Those who work Zack in the store will smile and be friendly so they don’t scare off the guests, but never when guests weren’t around.

I t seemed fine at first, but after a few minutes of waiting, I grew uncomfortable and went to sit at an outside table.

Zack was summoned and he and I were allowed a time for private conversation. They even let him ride in my car as we toured the farm. That made me feel better about what I’d read online. Maybe the stories I saw weren’t true after all. Maybe this was a good place for Zack. And then, he started talking. He said

he was being encouraged to get married to a young woman and start a family. He didn’t want to raise his children there, he said. It wasn’t a good place for kids. He didn’t explain exactly why. He wanted to reconnect.

He wanted to reclaim family. We hugged as I left and promised to stay in touch.

And then, the phone call came. Zack called to say he had been kicked out of the community and was headed home. The short story is that he and young woman – both of legal age – were caught together.

This was a huge violation. The young woman’s father beat Zack and then locked him in a basement, without food or water. The men would return every few hours to yell at Zack, threaten him and question him about the relationship he had with the girl. After three days, they let him go, telling him that his girlfriend had been shipped 1,500 miles away and he would never see her again.

Zack walked miles and miles to get home. He has rheumatoid arthritis, so this was a painful walk for him, but he did it.

And now, his focus is on finding the girl.

Her name is Loveshet (Lah-veh-shet) and she is 18 years old. He was able to find out that she was put on a van headed to their community settlement in Hiddenight, North Carolina. He has been unable to find out if she stayed there or was immediately moved elsewhere. He is concerned that she was beaten and may still be in physical danger. He believes that if the authorities were to go in and question her, she would resort to her training and say that everything is fine and she is happy there.

But, he knows that when they talked in private, she expressed a desire to leave that life behind.

Now, I’m helping Zack find a way to reach Loveshet and determine if she’s okay. We have ruled out calling local authorities because we think it will make them only seek to hide her. We have ruled out the FBI, at least for now. And again, we think she will protect the leaders by saying that she is fine. We are seeking to find a way to reach her and let her know that she is welcome and will be safe outside of the community she has known all of her life.

We don’t know who to trust. We have a few ideas for plans that may work, but we just aren’t sure.

Parenting a grown child is so tough.

You don’t have the authority to step in when they make bad decisions. All you can do is hold them when they cry and offer advice on how to make the pain go away.

I’m usually the parent that can find the answers when I need them. My list of contacts is huge. I can point the right direction for medical or mental health professionals, drug-abuse programs, adoption answers, learning specialists, and the list goes on.

This time, it was different. This time, I’m scrambling for answers and solutions.

This time, I will learn what I need to learn in order to help this young woman find safety and security. I’ve never had to go against a cult before. I guess it will be one more tool to add to my parenting toolbox. t Rev. Kelly Crenshaw is the mom of 16 adopted kids, two biological kids, guardian of one baby girl and foster mom of dozens. Some are lesbian, some gay, some straight, and some bisexual. Kelly founded a K-12 day school where kids could have a safe, bully-free environment for learning.

She is co-owner of a counselling agency that works with children and their families.

Send your parenting questions to her at pastor.kelly@comcast.net

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

25

out in the valley

Brian’s

Brain

Brian George Hose

Pandora 2016 When I think about this election I’m reminded of Pandora’s Box. According to the myth, Pandora opened a box containing the evils of the world, which escaped and created the problems mankind still faces today. Despite her best efforts, Pandora could not undo what had been done and the world has suffered ever since.

By the time you read this the election will be over and we will know who the next president will be. For weeks political pundits and commentators have been telling us that this election is significant, one for the history books. I suppose all elections are historic in that the winning candidate will assume the highest office in the country and play a significant role in national and world history throughout their admin-

26 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

istration. With that said, what stands out about this election isn’t just the candidates, but the way their campaigns have affected the people they seek to govern.

This election has stirred strong feelings in the hearts of Americans. We all want a better America, but we have different ideas about what that means and how it should be done. What stands out to me, as a social worker and a citizen, is the way we as a nation have responded to the candidates throughout the campaign process. The passion we feel for the issues affecting our country has too often transformed into anger and hatred, openly expressed and often targeted at others who aren’t like us.

During this election, Pandora’s box has been opened once again and the nation has been flooded with ideas. Like Pandora, we’ve seen the worst the world has to offer. Hate has found a dedicated and vocal audience in today’s America. There’s no ignoring the hate speech, the threats,

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

or the evidence that a number of Americans want to undo years of social progress. Once again, LGBTQ rights are being threatened. I find it incredibly sad that taking away the rights of a vulnerable population is considered a legitimate part of a presidential platform in 2016 in the land of the free, and that millions of Americans seem to support this idea.

One has to wonder, what will become of all this hatred? The sheer volume of hatred expressed in the last year is staggering, and it won’t go back in the box now that the election is over.

Regardless of who wins the election, this hatred will remain, and perhaps grow. For the past year hatred has shaped the future of our country, and it’s likely to remain a strong influence in the foreseeable future.

Unlike Pandora’s box, the past year has also unleashed a number of positive ideas. Americans have been very vocal in supporting changes that benefit the 99% and not just the elite. These ideas won’t go back in the box, either. Vulnerable popula-

tions have found allies who support their rights and causes, people who embrace those different than themselves. We’ve seen that America isn’t the homogenizing melting pot we were taught it was; instead, it’s a salad bowl that allows each “ingredient” to maintain its own characteristics while coexisting with others, contributing its flavor to the salad of society. Bon appetit!

But there’s more to Pandora’s story.

After the evils of the world escaped, one thing remained in the box: Hope. We saw this ourselves many times in the past year, always fighting against the hate that was released into the world. We set a GoFundMe record after the Pulse shootings in Orlando; we defended the rights of women and minorities; we showed that America is not just a place but a set if ideals representing freedom and equality for all.

In many ways we are a living embodiment of Pandora’s Box. While the evils of the world may run rampant, the Statue of Liberty, like Pandora, stands guard, lifting the light of Hope to us and to the world, promising better things and showing us what we can be. We are America, and we will not go back into the box quietly so long as hope remains. t

out in the valley // faith

Spirit Speaks

Rev. Tim Hughes

Saint Larry This week we who are in the Christian faith tradition celebrated All Saints Day. It’s a day we commemorate the lives of those people who have particularly shown through their life and witness what it means to be a faithful Christian.

But are “saints” limited only to Christianity? Technically the term originated to described those who were “holy” (sanctus) in Christianity, but what if we applied that term more broadly to describe those people whose lives have shown as an example for us?

Who are your saints?

Who are the people who have lived exemplary lives and shown you what it means to love and be loved more fully? There are those famous people like Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther Kingt, the Dalai Lama. People who have used their gifts and talents to change the world.

We celebrate them.

But there are others who may be only famous to a select few. A grandmother whose love kept her family together. A mother or

“I remember the day he was diagnosed, he called me and we cried together. ‘Don’t leave me until I don’t know you anymore,’ he said.” father who gave so much to make their children’s lives better. A teacher or faith leader or community leader who changed lives and lived in ways that gave compassion and mercy a real face.

This weekend I said goodbye to such a man. Larry was my professor/mentor and later became my spiritual father and best

Spirit Speaks Changing Seasons

friend. I wrote about him in a column back in the winter. He had dementia. But even in the midst of his illness, he found ways to show love. He was generous with his money, with his time and with his love. He always made time to listen and no holiday went by without some silly card or gift to celebrate. One day he sent me a card and said that since there was no formal “surrogate son” day, he was creating it! And so we celebrated.

I wrote no column for the last edition of Baltimore OUTloud. That’s because I spent the better part of a week sitting in his nursing home room waiting for him to transition from this life to the next. I held his hand, spoke to him even though he could not respond or

By New light staff By the time this article is printed, New Light will have a new pastor. For three years, we’ve been led by Rev. Sherry Miller and Rev. Kelly Crenshaw. They have provided excellent leadership and have helped us deal with issues from our church’s past.

Whether it’s an individual or an organization, we all have baggage. Maybe it’s the old “We’ve never done it that way before” line of thinking or possibly it’s the “My grandmother donated that widget, so it must stay where it is” reality. But, no matter what, these are issues that must be addressed in order to move forward.

If we cling to the past, we struggle to make progress.

And, whenever a church’s pastor moves on, no matter the reason, there is a struggle to move forward. Sometimes, it’s because we love our former pastor so much that we can’t see anyone else filling his or her spot. Sometimes, it’s because we were hurt by that pastor’s actions and are fearful that it will happen again. And then there are those who feel empowered to take over when a pastor leaves. These are the ones who step up and fill those empty shoes, but then get furious when things don’t go their way.

It happens in most churches when pastors leave. And, New Light was no exception. So, we brought in Rev. Sherry and Rev. Kelly and had them work with us to grieve our losses and head our hurts.

So now, as we welcome a new pastor into our church, we are a better place to be. We cherish our memories, but aren’t holding onto them like lifelines. We mourn our losses, but don’t feel the need to replace those who have left with their exact duplicates. And, we celebrate our new beginnings with new leadership, fresh ideas and new friends.

Come join us as we start this part of our journey. We welcome all who would like to find a warm and welcoming place to worship. t For info about New Light call a co-pastor at 301-797-5698 or email newlightmcc@ hotmail.com.

Larry and the author

react. At that moment, in that place, he was all I cared about. Being present for him in the only way I could. I remember the day he was diagnosed, he called me and we cried together. “Don’t leave me until I don’t know you anymore,” he said. I assured him that I would never leave him, even after he didn’t know me anymore, I would still know him!

I sat with him and held his hand, wiped his brow and told him I loved him and it was okay to go. It was the one last gift I could give to a man who for 28 years gave so much to me and my family. It hurt like hell to watch him die, but there was a joy in that moment as well. I guess the only bad thing about being gifted with a third parent is having to lose a parent three times.

And so I challenge each of us: Who are those “saints” in our lives? Who are the people who taught us more about what it means to love and be loved completely?

And more importantly: How are we being saints for others around us? Who looks at us and sees the embodiment of compassion, justice, and love? t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

27

quality of life

Violet’s New Friends

Violet’s Vet

Dr. Tony Calo

Bathtime for Violet Violet is, in many ways, a dainty little princess. In other ways, she is all dog.

She loves running with her bigger canine friends at the park, she loves chasing after balls as though she were a retriever, and she loves reminding everyone that she is a ferocious guard dog when she is protecting the house. One of her most dog-like qualities is loving to get dirty. If there is mud to stand in, she’s there. If there is something stinky to roll in, she can’t be stopped.

In her mind, the stinkier the better. She’s not pristine about dirt. In fact, she loves it.

She’s not alone in this love for filth. Daisy has a similar penchant for rolling in smelly stuff. Henry gets very messy as well but he does not go out of his way to get dirty. He prefers to stay out of mud and when left to his own accord, he will actually avoid anything wet, dirty, or messy. For him, getting dirty is just a by-product of chasing tennis balls. He is singularly focused on the chase. It does not matter where the balls goes. The instinct to stay clean is not even a passing thought if the ball goes into a dirt pile, mud pit, stream, or river. Everything is the chase and the retrieval of the toy and nothing else matters.

Regardless of the reason, dog stink is a problem for our pack.

So what does this mean for Connor and me?

In means that we are reluctant but frequent dog groomers.

This brought up some questions about bathing dogs. How often?

What type of shampoo? At home or with a groomer?

The answers, of course, depend on the needs of your dog. Your dog’s specific circumstances will guide your decisions.

The first step is having a conversation

28 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

with your dog’s primary veterinarian. If your dog’s skin and coat are healthy, then options will be less restricted. If your dog suffers from environmental or seasonal allergies, is prone to skin infections, or has sensitive skin, do not bathe your dog without medicated baths and special instructions from your veterinarian. For severe or hard to control skin issues, referral to a board-certified veterinary dermatologist is warranted.

For dogs with no skin conditions, bathing can be as frequent as once every other week to once every six months. It will depend on how active your dog is, how much they love or avoid dirt, and the length of their coat. For us, in warmer months, the dogs go outside often and play hard.

It also involves a lot of swimming, which results in wet dog smell which is perhaps the most offensive of the odors associated with our canine companions. It is not uncommon for the dogs to get bathed once a week or once every other week during the summer. During the winter months, our dogs spend more time playing inside rather than outside. This means less access to dirt and stinky stuff. This also means less need to bathe. In colder months, bathtime only occurs once every four to eight weeks depending on the stink factor.

What about the actual process of bathing?

I have the advantage of having a grooming sink at work which makes bathtime a bit easier. Not having a dog sink at your house should not be a deterrent to bathing your own dog however. There are products that can help convert your bathtub into a Please excuse dog grooming our nudity! station.

Small dogs can be bathed in a large sink.

Finally, many pet stores offer groom-yourown-dog stations that are generally inexpensive to use.

Before washing, gently brush your dog to remove loose hair and the outermost dirt. It is important to use shampoo that is not harsh and is easy to rinse. Soothing canine shampoos that contain oatmeal or aloe are usually a good choice. Shampoos made for people may strip the natural oils out of a dog’s hair and

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Looking to adopt an active lady who still acts like a puppy full of energy? Ask for Bella – and you’ll get me! I am very social and outgoing and totally love to meet new people who let me give them hugs and kisses.

I love to run, especially when I’m in the play yard running around with other dogs.

In my previous home I lived with kids and another dog. Please consider giving me a forever home very soon and I will make you smile.

a

Hello everyone. My name is Mae and I really would like to find another forever home very soon since my previous owner passed away. I’m used to being with senior people who just want a feline to keep them company.

I’m shy, independent, and easy going. I’m very quiet so you won’t even know I am around… until you need me for companionship. I like hiding under my blankets so make sure you look under everything if you can’t find me.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I am Polydactyl which means I have more toes than your normal every day cat… makes me pretty special. If you would like to meet me please come out soon! t The adoption fee is $100 for Bella Mae and $50 for Mae. For more information, visit Bmorehumane.org.

Bella

therefore should be avoided. Use the right amount of shampoo to cover all parts of your dog.

Do not forget to clean in-between toes.

It is very important to avoid getting soap and/or water in your dog’s ears and eyes so be especially careful around the head and face. The shampoo should be fully rinsed off your dog.

After the bath, thoroughly towel dry your dog and try to avoid hair dryers, which may burn your dog’s skin. Even at the lower temperatures, it is best to avoid hair dryers because the noise or stream of air may scare your dog.

At-home bathing is great idea for dogs with short coats that do not require special needs. If you have a dog with a long thick coat, a continually growing haricot, or a dog with skin conditions, it may be better to leave the grooming in the hands of a professional.

Before Henry, the boy dog in our lives was a big Golden Retriever named Jake.

He was an extremely kind, loving, and handsome dog. He was also loyal and well-behaved. He was an overall easy dog other than his coat. He had long red feath-

ers that were prone to dirt collection and matting. To address this, Jake always went to a professional groomer. His coat was very thick which required a lot of know-how to wash completely. Additionally, his hair was in constant need of trimming to keep it at the appropriate length. In between visits to the groomer, we would brush him and spot-clean him but were left the heavy work to the groomer.

When finding a groomer, it is always a good idea to ask your veterinarian for a recommendation. It is also a good idea to get recommendations from friends and neighbors and to read on-line reviews. Finally, I would speak to the groomer directly, ask to see samples of their work, and to ask if you can get references from their current clients. It is important to do a significant amount of research beforehand to ensure that you are comfortable with the grooming professional you choose to take care of your canine friend.

Overall, a clean dog is a happy and healthy dog. It also makes living with them a whole lot easier. Just ask Violet, she loves being clean even if it doesn’t last very long. t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

29

real estate

A Perfect Storm

By Wayne Curtis A recent study by the National Association of Realtors (NAR) has concluded that the housing recession of 2007-10 has drastically lengthened the amount of time that home owners expect to stay in their current home. From 1985 until 2008, the length of time a seller had lived in their house held fairly steady: the median current ownership of homes listed for sale was between six and seven years.

Since the Great Recession of 2008 ended, from 2011-15 that figure has hovered between nine and ten years. New owners, when polled, say that they expect to live in their new home for at least 15 years – and that higher number has remained steady since 2010.

That’s a problem. Because in that same time period new home construction has diminished significantly and a new wave of millennial buyers has begun entering the marketplace. The resulting lack

of inventory has put upward pressure on prices for a generation that is carrying the largest student debt load since records have been kept.

On the opposite end of the life cycle, AARP has done research among adults between the ages of 50-64, 71 percent of whom hope to age while living in their current residence. When you ask those 65 and over, that number jumps to 87 percent.

So, just at the time when new home construction is at a low point and the number of first time buyers is increasing, you have a Baby Boom generation who plans on staying in their current home until the end of their lives, and younger sellers who are holding on to their homes longer because of the Great Recession.

If that sounds like a “perfect storm” for home prices to skyrocket, right at the time

Older people staying put means housing shortage and rising prices

30 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

B

when new buyers can’t afford it, put on your slicker and batten down the hatches.

It’s going to be a rough ride. If you’re lucky enough to have bought in a popular neighborhood, you will most likely see some substantial appreciation.

You’ll get the buyers who can afford to buy, and they’ll have to pay through the nose to do it. If you’re not

in one of the chosen few “hot” locations (remember, it’s always “location, location, location”), you may feel like your drifting out at sea. t Wayne Curtis has been a licensed real estate agent in Baltimore since 1998, and has the scars to prove it.

If you have real estate questions you’d like this column to address, write him at wayne@charmcityrealestate.com

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

31

leather line

Leather

Line

Rodney Burger

Pupboy Orpheus Selected Mr. Maryland Leather 2017

Peter Dayton (a.k.a. “Pupboy Orpheus”) from Baltimore, Maryland, was sashed Mr. Maryland Leather 2017 on Saturday, November 5th during COMMAND M.C.’s annual leather weekend event. Peter a composer and pianist who states that he has only been involved in the leather community for nine months, is a recent member of COMMAND M.C. During his onstage speech he noted that last year he was aware of the Mr. Maryland Leather Con-

32 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

test, but was too afraid to attend. This year he finds himself chosen as the 26th Mr. Maryland Leather titleholder and will be representing Maryland at the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago in May. Also competing for Mr. Maryland Leather 2017 were Justin Charles from Reisterstown, Maryland, who was selected first runner-up.

Justin, who holds the title of Mr. Double L Leather 2016, was also awarded the David Allen Brotherhood Award. Also vying for the title of Mr. Maryland Leather 2017 was Rick Teadrick from Virginia.

COMMAND kicked off their club’s anniversary event on Thursday, November 3rd with a very well attended “Gear Up & Gear Out” fetish party at Leon’s / Steampunk Alley.

On Friday the fun moved to the Hotel Indigo where several cocktail parties were held to welcome the many out of town guests. Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Eli Onyx with help from several other Mr. Maryland Leather titleholders hosted the first party. Maryland’s first leather club, the ShipMates hosted the “Welcome to Baltimore Party” with ShipMates’ President Alex Lemaire serving the state’s official cocktail: The Black-Eyed Susan. The third cocktail hour was hosted by the great guys from ONYX Mid-Atlantic.

Friday evening continued with a “Meet &

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

Greet” gathering at The Loft @ Grand Central hosted by the Washington, D.C., Order of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Although COMMAND is an acronym for a Corps of Men Making a Noticeable Difference, it has been a joke since the club’s founding that it also stands for Come on Mary Make a New Dress. One highlight of Friday’s event was the announcement that if a quick collection could raise $200, COMMAND President Mike McDonnell would appear in a new dress. It was no surprise that the money was raised. Well, let me just say he looked lovely. I was surprised to see event chair Chris “Kitty” Council at Friday’s parties knowing that he had an emergency appendectomy on Wednesday.

Talk about dedication! Chris stated that he worked too hard all year to make this event come together and even an operation was not going to stop him from enjoying the weekend.

Saturday afternoon brought the main event, the Mr. Maryland Leather 2017 Contest. Originally scheduled to be held at the Baltimore Eagle, construction delays resulted in the contest being moved to Grand Central. The impressive judges’ panel was made up of leaders in the leather community from near and far and included Mr. Southern Coastal States Leather 2014 J. Tebias Perry, Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2016 Todd Leavitt, Mr. Michigan Leather 2016 Brian Mailley, Ms. Baltimore Eagle 1999 Buz, Mr. Mayhem Leather 2015 Kevin Michael O’Connell, Mr. Iowa Leather 2016 Rob Anderson, and Mr. Maryland Leather 2015 Greg King. Making sure the contestants were ready backstage was American Leatherboy 2013 Tank Teachworth who was the Den Daddy and American Leatherwoman 2016 first runner-up Margaret Irene who acted as Stage Manager. Tasked with keeping the contestants’ scores were Tally Masters, Mid-Atlantic Puppy 2015 Pup Gryphn, and co-producer of Baltimore’s annual “12 Days of Christmas” event Paul E. Treadway. Returning to emcee the contest after an absence of many years was COMMAND founder and Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 1989 Dan Noel. Dan who last emceed the Mr. Maryland Contest in 1994, entered onstage with a long piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe and the laughs kept coming hour after hour.

After interviews with the judges earlier in the day, the contestants appeared on stage in barware, jock, and formal leather. They also gave a brief speech. I found the speech given

by Justin Charles to be particularly heartfelt as he spoke of losing contact with his family after coming out, but finding a welcoming new Pupboy family in the leather Orpheus – community.

There were no the new Mr. Maryland drag performances Leather this year. The only thing that dragged was the contest itself. There were, however, many memorable moments as well as additional entertainment provided by Hot Todd Lincoln and the performers from Boylesque who entertained the audience with everything from striptease to rope tricks. There was also much conversation afterwards about how the leather community has evolved over the years and how these changes are reflected in what is done during leather contest. For example I have never seen a contestant for Mr. Maryland Leather enter the stage on all fours -- although I must admit that I have seen a few leave the room horizontally. In 1991 when the Mr. Maryland Leather Contest started a flannel shirt would never have passed as “formal leather.” With the introduction of gear and the enormous popularity of the puppy community the leather community is changing fast. In his stepdown speech Mr. Maryland Leather 2016 Eli Onyx placed a papier-mâché pink elephant on the stage and spoke about diversity in the community or “the elephant in the room.” When he ended his speech he stomped on the elephant breaking it into many pieces.

After the contest COMMAND hosted a dinner at the Hotel Indigo, a party for the new Mr. Maryland Leather at Flavor, and a play party at the Charm City Play Space. The weekend ended on Sunday morning with a brunch at Flavor.

Congratulations to Mr. Maryland Leather 2017 Pupboy Orpheus. Now that we have a new Mr. Maryland Leather it is time to select Mid-Atlantic Leather Woman 2016 and Mr. D.C. Eagle 2017. The Mid-Atlantic Leather Woman and Mid-Atlantic Leather Woman Bootblack Contest will be held on Saturday, November 11th at the Cham City Play Space (300 West 24th Street). Doors open at 1 p.m. and the contest will start at 2 p.m. Tickets at the door are $20. The “Meet & Greet” will be held on Friday, November 10th starting at 10 p.m. at Mixer’s Bar (6037 Belair Road, Baltimore).

The following weekend is the Mr. D.C. Eagle 2017 Contest on Saturday, November 19th at the D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Road N.W.).

The contest starts at 8 p.m. ‫‏‬It is a busy month in our local leather community. Come out and meet our new leather titleholders. t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

33

Self Management and Recovery Training www.smartrecovery.org

NO:

INSTEAD:

“Steps”

Empowerment – “I own my recovery….”

Powerlessness

Education – learn self-management & recovery skills

Labels or Names

Useful for any type of addictive behavior

Sponsors

Open discussion format

In small groups we talk freely and learn how to: Maintain motivation to eliminate harmful habits Cope with urges Manage our thoughts, feelings, and actions Balance Lifestyle

Free Mount Vernon Meeting: Thursday 6:30—8:00 pm 1111 North Charles Street • Community Room Info: George Bowden 443-224-8500

34 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com t

35

36 t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD

NOVEMber 11, 2016 • baltimoreoutloud.com