Baptist Magazine v131 n2 (April 2015) by Baptist magazine

Baptist Churches of New Zealand

v.131 † no.2

BAPTISTMAG.ORG.NZ

OVERSEAS: MAKING A DIFFERENCE, LEAVING A LEGACY REVIVING TREASURED SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

April 2015 NZ $3.90 (incl GST)

HE IS NOT HERE

BE OUR GUEST? WHAT THE GOSPEL SAYS

NEW HEARTS NEW

FOR HE HAS RISEN

Worl�

Matthew 28:6

Leading meaningful conversations

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Awakening spiritual parenting † Family News

REFLECTION “MADE FOR SPIRITUALITY, WE WALLOW IN INTROSPECTION. MADE FOR JOY, WE SETTLE FOR PLEASURE. MADE FOR JUSTICE, WE CLAMOR FOR VENGEANCE. MADE FOR RELATIONSHIP, WE INSIST ON OUR OWN WAY. MADE FOR BEAUTY, WE ARE SATISFIED WITH SENTIMENT. BUT NEW CREATION HAS ALREADY BEGUN. THE SUN HAS BEGUN TO RISE. CHRISTIANS ARE CALLED TO LEAVE BEHIND, IN THE TOMB OF JESUS CHRIST, ALL THAT BELONGS TO THE BROKENNESS AND INCOMPLETENESS OF THE PRESENT WORLD... THAT, QUITE SIMPLY, IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CHRISTIAN: TO FOLLOW JESUS CHRIST INTO THE NEW WORLD, GOD’S NEW WORLD, WHICH HE HAS THROWN OPEN BEFORE US.” N.T. Wright. 2006. Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense. New York, NY. Harper One

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16 19 CONTENTS FE ATUR E

A new heart for mission .............4 RE SO U R CE S

Equipping you ............................8

Magazine Manager Angela Pedersen Editor Sarah Vaine Art Director Sue Pepper Global Mission Greg Knowles Business Manager Daniel Palmer __ Contact Editorial sarah@baptistmag.org.nz Advertising advertising@baptistmag.org.nz Website baptistmag.org.nz Baptist Churches of New Zealand PO Box 12-149, Penrose, Auckland 1642, New Zealand Telephone 09 526 0333 __ Printing Image Print, Auckland __ The NZ Baptist Magazine is the magazine of the Baptist Churches of New Zealand

D I SC I PL E SHIP

Spiritual practices ....................10 FA M I LY

C H I LD

NE WS

A ND

.................. .13

FA M I LY

Awakening spiritual parenting..................................16 C U LT U R E

The gospel: making a world of difference ...............................19 LE A D ER SHIP

Leading meaningful conversations ......................... 22 D I RE CT ORY

GLO BA L

.......................25

MISSION

Standing on their own feet ........26 Total community development centres ....................28 The Gateway Project ..................30

A note from the Editor It is our privilege to bring you the second issue of the new look Baptist Magazine. This issue is structured around our need to bring our hearts before God in order for Him to meet us, love us, change us and lead us on. We hope this is inspiring â&#x20AC;&#x201C; let us know where it has encouraged you! ~ Sarah Vaine

Distributed through local Baptist Churches in New Zealand and dependent on their contributions. Registered with POHQ as a newspaper. ISSN 1176-8711

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Baptist / F E A T U R E

A NEW HEART FOR Will we place our hearts before God, allowing Him to shape our lives for what He would have us and those around us do?

In our last issue, we shared some thoughts from Canoni Phil Potter, who raised the question, “howishould we asi the church respond to a rapidly changingiculture?”i In an age where engagement with church is decreasing,i we considered the challenge; do we in factineed to bei prepared for God to lead our expressionsiof churchi into something new?i Each of us will have different reactions to this concept. Maybe you are excitedly planning your next move. Maybe you are trying to avoid all discussion of ‘missional church.’ However with our reactions, we must come back to a place of examining our hearts before God, and allow Him to shape our lives for what He would have us do. Phil Potter considers a number of heart issues in this challenge; our desire to know and share God (hunger), our

fears and dreams (hurt and hope) and our willingness to let God lead His diverse people together (humility and harmony). Hunger Matthew 5:6 reads, “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6). It is hunger that makes us long for and look for the missional possibilities. But as you tap into this hunger, consider the early church. They obviously had a hunger and a vision, but their vision had to be widened by the Holy Spirit before they could see the whole picture of God’s plan. At first they had a narrow vision of God and His mission; they believed the gospel was only for the Jews, so those who were not Jewish were bypassed. The Spirit widened their vision to see the gospel

God doesn’t always act in the ways we expect. He doesn’t always use the people we expect Him to, or the ways that we anticipate. 04

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was for all. So take time to allow God’s Spirit to speak to you about where God may be taking you. Hurt and hope However, it is quite likely that to be ‘mission-shaped’ and to move forward in mission will be costly. Sacrifice is the key word here. Sacrifice hurts. Maybe it will mean you need to sacrifice your focus on the safe and familiar, embracing a little godly risk. Maybe you’ll need to sacrifice your favourite way of doing things. Maybe you’ll need to sacrifice the comfort of thinking you have all the answers and put yourself in a place of questioning for a while. Maybe you’ll need to sacrifice your need for ‘success.’ But as you consider the sacrifices that you, or those around you may need to be prepared to make, read it in the light of Isaiah 40:31; “Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

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Think of the image of the eagle spreading and locking its wings into that updraft of air, as it rises higher and higher into the sky with the wind, where its vision is then transformed to see the whole landscape from a completely different point of view. The challenge of mission can be exhausting. But if it’s done in the power of God, then it’s also energising and renewing. God wants to fill our hearts with a hope that transforms our vision, to enable us to see way above and way beyond our expectations, fuelled by the power of hope! Humility and harmony God doesn’t always act in the ways we expect. He doesn’t always use the people we expect Him to, or the ways that we anticipate.

centre of commerce, famous for sports and huge building programmes, with much wealth. It was also notorious for immorality and overflowing with pagan and eastern religion. In mission terms, the odds were stacked against it. Interestingly, we don’t know who the ‘mega leader’ was who planted that church. As far as we know it was the nameless, faceless, normal and ordinary people, moving and living within the culture and context of that city who brought the message of love, grace and hope to the people there. Normal and ordinary people, with God. We’ve had a couple of sayings in our church over the years that people have taken to heart. The first is a paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “God’s strength shows up best in weak people” and the second saying is “Jesus came for failures.” Because the weak and the failures kneel at the foot of the cross together and say, “Lord, we’re nothing without you.” And from this posture, hearts may be led by God into the unexpected.

In Acts 11 we read of the church at Antioch. This was the first great missionary church, it was the first place disciples were called Christians and it was the first great spiritual battleground for the gospel outside of Jerusalem. Antioch was a huge city, the Churches that place capital of Syria and the highest possible value on the third largest harmony and unity have city in the world. It was a great a magnetic and authentic welcome

What this looks like may vary and can’t be prescribed. But in the words of David Watson, “Heaven forbid that we should continue playing religious games in one corner when the cloud and fire of God’s presence have moved to another.”

unity in that. In the same way, New Zealand is a diverse country, but the gospel message is for all. Will you allow this to impact you, transform you and unite you to move forward?

may look off maori forgiveness So where to from here?

TAKE OUTS!

So consider, are you prepared for Start with worship. Worship God and 1. If you are completely it will be off theyour design God to use you? Are you prepared to from allow vision to be transformed. honest with yourself release those who God is calling? From there, talk, pray and confess and God, what is your withget one rid other. with these key note speakers ofEngage quotations highlight take out names heart reaction to But as you think on this, seektop. harmony. core issues – heart issues.paragraph As you from make names from within bigger.‘missional church.’ Churches that place the highest embrace God’s heart, the challenge 2. Consider your view on who possible value on harmony and to be missional is turned into a vision God calls. a richer appreciation bring the “the” down onto breadth line. Do you need to unity have a magnetic and authentic for transformation! let God re-shape this? Use sees colours on the __ text. Use different colours for names? welcome. When the world 3. Does your church value a church divided, tearing itself apart Story: Canon Phil Potter harmony or bicker over for frames Canon Phil Potter was one of the over secondary issuessxc. and hu unable secondary issues? What to speak the truth in love, it walks keynote speakers at the 2014 Baptist could you do about this? Gathering at Waitangi. He is the away and doesn’t want to know. heaps of atext already needs to be clear as possible 4. Who could you journey Archbishops’ Missioner and Leader of And who can blame it? Back in with in this, both as an the Fresh Expressions team in the UK. Antioch, they would never have encouragement to yourself been able to take such a diverse city and others? by storm if they hadn’t shared the same values, and had a powerful

the art of

A richer appreciation of the breadth and depth of forgiveness.

6th to 8th August 2015

Carey Baptist College, Auckland Register by email to: events@carey.ac.nz or Online at: www.regonline.co.nz/theartofforgiveness

Earlybird Registrations until 31 May 2015

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS Dr. L. Gregory Jones is the Williams Professor of Theology and

Christian Ministry at Duke Divinity School. He also serves as the Strategic Director for the Laity Lodge Leadership Initiative. Greg has held a variety of leadership positions in both the academy and the church, including as Vice President and Vice Provost of Global Strategy and Programs for Duke University. An accomplished scholar, teacher, and preacher, Greg is noted especially for his work on forgiveness and reconciliation as well as on Christian leadership. He is the author or editor of 16 books including “Embodying Forgiveness and Forgiving as We've Been Forgiven” (co-authored with Celestin Musekura). Carey Baptist College welcomes Greg’s attendance at our conference.

Dr. David P. Gushee is Distinguished University Professor of Christian Ethics and Director of the Center for Theology and Public Life at Mercer University and is widely regarded as one of the leading moral voices in American Christianity. He is the author or editor of 20 outstanding books and hundreds of articles in his field. Dr Gushee has always accompanied his scholarly production with church work, activism, opinion writing, Board service and domestic and global media consultation. Having lectured on every continent, Carey Baptist College welcomes David’s attendance at our conference. Dr. Phil Halstead’s keynote address will explain to caregivers, pastors, counsellors and therapists, and all other interested parties a proven forgiveness process that explains how people can actually process their wounds via forgiveness. Phil’s PhD involved creating the now internationally recognised ‘Forgiveness Matters’ course.

Baptist / R E S O U R C E R E V I E W S

BOOK REVIEWS

Presence-Centred Youth Ministry – Mike King This book explores the need for youth ministry to provide space for God to transform lives. It emphasises the need for youth leaders to know God deeply, and to be willing to walk through the deep experiences of a young person’s journey. It also explores a number of spiritual practices as a way to encounter God ~ Matt Vaine. Listening to Children on the Spiritual Journey – Catherine Stonehouse & Scottie May This comprehensive resource showcases conversations with children and parents about their relationships with God and collates simple, practical ideas for families to allow God to be part of everyday life. Intentional partnership between families and church is explored, including the role of space for parents and children to experience God together and the need to provide supportive spaces for families to listen to and share with each other ~ Sarah Vaine.

EQUIPPING YOU

Faith Begins @ Home Prayer – Mark Holmen This easy to read book is ideal for those wanting to explore prayer as a family. Don’t be put off if this has been something your family has struggled with. It is full of practical ideas for different ages and stages. Above all, it seeks to make God part of your everyday family life in gentle and simple ways ~ Sarah Vaine. Celebration of Discipline – Richard Foster Foster’s classic on Spiritual Disciplines was first printed 35 years ago, yet it remains so relevant. Foster emphasizes our need to be deep people and

MUSIC REVIEWS

Into the Deep – Malcolm Gordon This New Zealand album draws you into worship. Malcolm Gordon is part of The One Voice Project, a creative community considering Christian worship. Check out their website at onevoice.org.nz. He will also be teaching at Carey Baptist College during semester two. For more information, see carey.ac.nz ~ Sarah Vaine.

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by exploring a number of different disciplines, he charts the way for the reader to go to the deep places and enjoy the freedom found in knowing God ~ Matt Vaine. The Hare and the Tortoise – Andrew Shamy, Sam Bloore & Roshan Allpress This book considers spiritual disciplines as a way in which to slow our lives down to know God more. With a focus on a different discipline each month, activities and a Bible plan working through the story of scripture make this a really helpful and creative way to structure a yearly devotion ~ Matt Vaine. Titirangi Baptist Youth will be spending 2015 looking at ‘The Hare and the Tortoise’ as a group. Matt Vaine is their Youth Pastor and he will be sharing this journey on our website each month, check out baptistmag.org.nz Freedom Diaries: God speaks back – Mark Holloway Be prepared to have all of your religious ideas challenged as you read this diary of Mark’s conversations with God. In these conversations we see how we are made for friendship with God, a friendship which includes back and forward conversation. Imagine a world where Christians are all following God’s guidance and doing it in His strength! This is world changing! A good book to consider, weigh and discuss with other Christians ~ Royce Pedersen.

A DVE RT ISING

PUT MONEY IN ITS PLACE If you want to learn more abouti being a good steward, pleasei visit baptistsavings.co.nzi and click on the tab ‘seminari dates’ (bottom left). You willi find more information about a financial health check seminari or business breakfast near you.i Baptist Savings has also createdi a video based on the parablei of the three servants that’si available on the website.i Click ‘play video’ (top right)!i

Andrew L’Almont

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MANAGER

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Matthew 19:21) “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 19:23-24) hese are two interesting verses to consider in a Christian column about all things financial. We all know the story about the young rich man who wanted the Master to tell him how to achieve eternal life. Here we have a young man enquiring after God. In effect, he was asking Jesus how he could open his heart to God and be changed by that. Over the years many Christians interpreted these verses, among others, as a condemnation of money, making it a dirty word in many households. However money and wealth was not the young man’s problem, but his love of money – his inability to contemplate a life without money in service to the Lord. The young man went away with sorrow in his heart because he realised he loved money more than he loved God. This does not mean that Christians who are rich, comfortable or otherwise should

PR OMOT ION

/ Baptist

give away their wealth and live in poverty. Jesus’ message was a personal one directly to the young man’s heart. There is nothing wrong with wealth, or careful management of your finances. In fact, many wealthy Christians are great philanthropists who use their wealth to relieve suffering and pain all over the world. The problem arises when you pursue wealth to the detriment of something greater. The Bible actually commands us to be responsible with our finances, to be good stewards: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever,” (1 Timothy 5:8) and “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want,” (Proverbs 11:24). I always remember the parable of the three servants, in particular the servant who buried his master’s money rather than investing it. He lost his reward; there is no substitute for best financial practice. Ignoring matters financial or leaving money to take care of itself only leads to grief. So as we move into this year, continue to practice good financial management. Put God first and you will succeed. And if you have money problems, don’t try to cover it up. Confront the issues head on, with prayer and sensible advice.

Say “ahhhh ...” WHEN WAS YOUR LAST FINANCIAL HEALTH CHECK? Could you use advice on credit card debt, insurance, saving for the future, or how to cut years off your mortgage? Visit baptistsavings.co.nz and click on “free financial health check” for obligation-free help from our experts.

PERSONALISED. COMPREHENSIVE. free.

Ahhhhh.

Baptist / D I S C I P L E S H I P

SPIRITUAL PRACTICES Reviving ancient spiritual practices to shape our future

The reminder alarm on our smarti phone goes off. Glimpsing at the time,i we realise we’re running late for ani appointment, yet again! Life seemsi so hectic, so demanding, so chaotic!i There’s so much to squash into already busy schedules, that we find ourselves overwhelmed, burdened and full of anxiety. We are captured by an intense loneliness rising from the depths of our being, as we ask, “Will we ever feel

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loved? Are we even lovable? Does anyone really care for us?” Surely this isn’t how life is supposed to be? Hurried, worried, fearful, lonely hearts seem so far from the promises of joy, hope and life that come through experiencing intimate relationship with our Triune God. The good news is that a different way of life is possible if we allow God access

to our hearts. The bad news? Travelling that way isn’t an easy stroll in the park... You may recall the 1985 movie, ‘Back to the Future,’ where a young Marty McFly is sent back to the past to save his own existence. In the disconnected, fragmented, performance driven way of our western world today, there’s a desperate need to recover ancient spiritual practices

in order to navigate the challenges of today, both as individuals and as church communities. We need such practices, designed to open our hearts and help centre our lives in relationship with the Triune God, instead of being tossed here, there and everywhere by the winds of worldly impulse. To recover the ancient spiritual practices, however, a little reframing is required. Often these practices are referred to as ‘spiritual disciplines’ but this term only seems to reinforce our guilt when we fail to maintain them. Yet if we turn the lens slightly and allow them to develop as a rhythm of life, they become an invitation for us to open our hearts to experience the grace, mercy and love of our Triune God. There are many different practices and this multiplicity allows us each our unique journey. We may connect more with one practice than another depending on our personality, how we learn, how we relate to one another, our stage of faith, or the circumstances of life we’re currently walking through. Giving ourselves permission to journey with different practices at different times allows us to journey authentically. As an introvert, in my time of deepest darkness and despair, I found it extremely enriching being able to write down the very confused emotions I was experiencing and the thoughts that were swimming around my mind. Seeing them on paper helped me to process the chaos within more effectively as I was able to bring my genuine self before God, allowing His revelation to bring restoration and healing. Writing, or journalling, is just one example of a spiritual practice. Here are a few further examples of spiritual practices, especially relevant for our times.

Silence and Solitude If you’re an extrovert, you’re probably tempted to overlook this spiritual practice. You may be thinking, “I gain my energies through being with others, I can’t bear being alone or times of silence.” But don’t be so quick to dismiss it! Pascal captures our need perfectly; “I have often said that the sole cause of [our] unhappiness is that [we do] not know how to stay quietly in [our] room... What people want is not the easy peaceful life that allows us to think of our unhappy condition, nor the dangers of war, nor the burdens of office, but the agitation that takes our mind off it and diverts us.” (Pascal, Pensées) The consequence, however, of learning to “stay quietly in our room” (and remember this could be a walk along a beach, time driving without music blaring, or sitting on the deck gazing up at the indescribable beauty of a starry night), is potentially a journey into our inner chaos! No wonder we often find silence threatening and look for distraction! Of course distractions come easily (checking e-mails, Facebook updates, switching on the television, surfing the net, work, sport...) So perseverance is essential in allowing our thoughts, emotions and desires to rise to the surface, be acknowledged and then laid before God. Silence and solitude open our hearts to God in a noisy, distracting world. It’s worth embracing the difficult journey. Community and Celebration Gathering together regularly in ‘Jesus’ name’ is a critical outworking of our faith. Celebrating God, sharing stories of His good works and encouraging one another, helps us lead a counter-cultural way of life. Our western world fosters individualism, competitiveness and fragmentation. Experiencing life in community (an imperfect community), is like an oasis in the desert, helping

open our hearts to God and journeying with others who are doing likewise. Feasting and Fasting Feasting is the acknowledgment and celebration that Jesus has already inaugurated His Kingdom, enabling us to experience the extraordinary gift of life in the present moment. It’s an experience of freedom and fullness, accompanied by gratitude. When we associate a scene of feasting and fellowshipping around the table, we see it symbolic of reconciliation, unity, friendship, intimacy, acceptance and love. Fasting is the practice of self-sacrifice and humility. In the practice of denying ourselves food, time shopping, screen time or whatever it may be, we discover that fasting breaks the chains of our enslavement to appetites and desires. Fasting presents a means of opening our hearts to the grace of God, which enables us to walk a different path to the one of entitlement, with insatiable, consumptive desires of a world seeking immediate gratification. These are just a few of the hundreds of spiritual practices. Check out the list for a few more and then I encourage you to look at some resources to identify and try out practices that you may not have even considered! SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

•

Meditation and prayer Liturgical prayer • Confession • Listening • Worship • Bible study • Memorisation • Sabbath rest • Accountability partner • Simplicity • Generosity • Gratitude • Teachability • Humility • Stewardship •

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Worship Then And Now with MALCOLM GORDON

Baptist / D I S C I P L E S H I P

Those of you who are movie buffs will be aware that in the 1989 sequel to ‘Back to the Future,’ Marty McFly is sent into the future (to the day marked 21st October 2015). For the first half-hour or so of the movie we get a glimpse of life as they envisaged we’d be living in this year – some aspects they anticipated accurately, others they weren’t even close! In time, as we look back from the future and see our ongoing growth in the likeness of Christ, I’m sure we’ll be able to point our finger at how a return to ancient spiritual practices has shaped our identity, transformed our hearts and deepened our knowledge of, and our love for, God. I’m sure that we will be able to acknowledge that they were something that has helped us walk a different path in which we experience joy, hope and life; the fruit of intimate relationship with a Triune God. That’s truly what our restless hearts are longing for. __ Story: Rick Pierce Rick Pierce is a Pastor at Windsor Park Baptist Church, with key responsibility for facilitating depth and growth in spiritual formation.

Carey Baptist College Second Semester 2015 Wednesday evenings | 6.30-9.30pm beginning 22 July 2015

Malcolm is an increasingly influential voice in New Zealand on worship. He works within the Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa New Zealand, encouraging creativity and artistic expression in worship. He is also a singer/songwriter, whose last two albums have reached the top 10 of the NZ album charts. He is convinced that worship, properly shaped around the great story of God's love toward creation, has the power to save the world. One of Malcolm's most recent songs, 'Beneath the Southern Cross' celebrates 200 years of the Gospel in NZ and is being sung by churches all over the country, most notably at the Dawn Service on Waitangi Day. Malcolm writes at www.onevoice.org.nz, is married to Vanessa and together they have Sam and Lucy.

www.carey.ac.nz

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Further resources on spiritual practices • The Hare and the Tortoise: Learning to pace ourselves in a world gone mad – Compass Foundation • Celebration of Discipline – Richard Foster • Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us – Adele Calhoun • The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives – Dallas Willard • The Practice of the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence • Eat This Book – Eugene Peterson • Soul Talk – Larry Crabb • Invitation to Silence and Solitude – Ruth Haley-Barton • The Discipline of Grace: God’s Role and Our Role in the Pursuit of Holiness – Jerry Bridges • The Lost Art of Meditation: Deepening Your Prayer Life – Sheila Pritchard

TAKE OUTS! 1. What is the pace of your life? Does this need to change to allow God to speak to you, change you and lead you?

2. What are three simple steps that you could take to slow your life down? 3. Which one of the spiritual practices in this article most interests you and what could you do to explore this more?

FA M I LY

THANKS! Thank you for your thoughts about the big changes to the Baptist Magazine. We have had some amazing responses to the new look magazine and made a few tweaks. We are aiming to loosely theme each issue of the magazine. The plans for the next three issues are: •

June: the love of God August: the overflow of the love of God • October: when it all falls apart. •

If you have articles for consideration either around the themes above or for the website please contact Sarah Vaine. Family News These Family News pages are all about stories from the Baptist family. We’d love to know about what’s happening for you and your church. We also share this online – the beauty of content online is that we have more space to expand on what we’re featuring in Family News, add more pictures and links and it’s far more interactive. So please talk to us! We’re interested in what’s going on and love to hear and share the wonderful

FAMILY NEWS

things the Lord is doing in your church, with the family. If you have stories for consideration, please contact Sarah Vaine and she will let you know what we need to make it all happen. Churches in Action Carolyn Armstrong stepped down from the role of compiling Churches in Action last year. We want to take this time to say THANK YOU Carolyn for all the work you put into this. Churches in Action can now be found online at baptistmag.org.nz. Here you will find events, births, deaths, special birthdays, marriages, engagements and pastoral moves. To create a notice please contact Jill Hitchcock. If you don’t use the internet, please do ask someone at your church to print this off for you.

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Want to talk about an article? If you’d like to reflect on articles, share your thoughts and have discussion around an article you can do so online in our ‘discussion’ boxes at the bottom of each article. This will also be available for all articles in the magazine, which will go online around two months after the magazine comes out. We hope this can be a valuable resource as a family journeying faith. Contact details Jill Hitchcock Email: jill.hitchcock@baptistmag.org.nz or phone: 09 526 0338. Sarah Vaine Email: sarah@baptistmag.org.nz or phone: 09 376 1778.

SUBSCRIBE SAVE & WIN!

$20 for six issues each year! We’ll put you in the draw to win a copy of Malcolm Gordon’s ‘Into the deep’ CD worth $24.99!* baptistmag.org.nz/subscribe *See website for terms and conditions

The rules have changed For churches and charitable trusts with March balance dates: • You need to determine now what non-financial information you will gather for reporting in your Statement of Service Performance. • You can’t wait until March 2016 to think about how you will comply with the new reporting standards for registered charities. If CATAS is doing your accounting work we are able to advise you on your non-financial reporting obligations. For information about the services we offer to Churches and Church-related Trusts look at our website or e-mail us.

www.catas.co.nz

Email:info@catas.co.nz

CATAS (Church and Trust Accounting Services Ltd) was set up by the Baptist Union in 2005 to provide professional and affordable accounting and payroll services to churches and trusts.

Baptist / F A M I L Y N E W S

An inter-church touch competition took place at the beginning of March in West Auckland. After discussions with other Youth Pastors, Dan Marshall, Youth Pastor at Glen Eden Baptist Church, set this in motion last year with a recognition of the value of inter-church connections and this year followed suit. After some great games and very changeable weather, Long Bay Baptist Church Youth came away winners!

Gerard and Heather Marks – a fifty year celebration! Not just a golden wedding, but a golden ministry! Gerard and Heather Marks began in full-time Baptist ministry in 1965 as newlyweds at Royal Oak. Fifty years later they have retired from Omokoroa (Tauranga). In between they have been ‘everywhere’ – Papatoetoe, Mt. Albert, Orakei, Auckland City Mission, Rimutaka, Epuni, CluthaOwaka and abroad to international ministry in Boroko (Papua New Guinea) and Kobe (Japan). The sensed call of God lit their way and the call to the ‘small’ church of Clutha-Owaka was just as important as the ‘biggie’ call to serve as General Superintendent of the Baptist Churches of NZ 1984-1991. Gerard’s wise, inclusive and open style of leadership when superintendent served the denomination well in a transitional and potentially divisive decade in church and society. Spiritually, Gerard has been a ‘big man,’ focusing

FAMILY NEWS

on world as well as local church. He provided chaplaincy for a number of years to our territorial forces and has done so more recently to seamen in Tauranga. He has drawn wisdom from the wider church, promoting, for example, the value of spiritual retreats. Heather has exercised a major ministry as a spiritual leader and speaker (including invited speaker to Toronto, Los Angeles, and Brisbane). Her inspiring e-newsletter, ‘Out of my mind,’ begun in the 1980s, continues to sparkle with creativity and insight. While she has whole-heartedly supported Gerard, there was a rolereversal a couple of years ago when Heather taught English in Bangladesh for three months with Gerard as support crew. Gerard and Heather have modelled Christian warmth, openness and growth. We treasure them and thank God for their fifty years of ministry.

COURSES

Seasons for Growth at Karori Baptist is a 4-8 week group course focused on deepening peoples’ understanding of how loss and grief impact wellbeing. It provides opportunity for people to begin to explore their own grief journey with others who are also experiencing loss. The course has a broad interpretation of what loss may include and assists participants with validating and naming causes of their grief. Karori Baptist Church found it to be a really beneficial time of raw and vulnerable conversations and relationships between participants. This was a source of peace and joy for some who may have felt alone and lost in their grief. It helps to build a solid platform for people to stand on as they continue to walk through their experiences of loss and grief.

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Rodney Duncan recently retired after thirty-six years of ministry. He pastored at Avondale, Mana, then twenty-three years at Long Bay. Rodney reflects on his time as a Pastor saying, “being a Pastor has been a privilege. I wouldn’t have wanted any other career. It has always been fulfilling, satisfying and most of the time, enjoyable.” He has seen much change and comments, “a major change over the years was moving from a ‘one-man band’ ministry to a team ministry. Adopting a ‘Ministry led’ model of leadership meant leaders could lead where gifted rather than ‘putting them on the deacon’s court,’ which is what we did in earlier years. This was healthy.” Rodney was involved with Carey Baptist College and says, “I enjoyed being able to contribute to the Carey Board over twenty years. A highlight was running Marriage Enrichment courses for students with Nicola,” He concludes, “a great joy at Long Bay has been seeing children and young people become Christians and grow in faith. Many have married and become leaders within the church. I am privileged to have baptized a couple in their 70’s just before retiring (in the retirement home swimming pool!) I look forward to continuing to serve God in different ways in years to come.” Following a successful thirty month transition period, James McBurney is sole Senior Pastor at Long Bay Baptist Church. Rodney notes James has been a great colleague, then boss, now Pastor and he has total confidence in Long Bay’s future. Jacob Sawyer has been appointed to an associate role with responsibility for children and families. Long Bay are grateful that Rodney and Nicola are not moving, and say, “thank you, Rodney and Nicola, for your loving pastoral care, leadership and Rodney’s marvellous sermons.”

100 YEARS AGO

Wanaka Baptist Church update Jim and Lois Patrick moved to Wanaka in 2013. They write: “The challenge was to re-plant the Baptist work, and establish a core group moving forward. We were assured of a congregation of three and over time numbers grew to twenty. It is different from ‘normal’ church. Wanaka has a transient population from around the world, joining us for anything from one Sunday up to a year. Then they move on to explore other places. Scripture tells us to “go into all the world and preach the gospel” (Matt. 28:19). In Wanaka, we wait, and the world comes to us! God is working. A girl from the USA wrote, “it’s hard to believe how much Wanaka changed my life. I was in a dark place, my faith almost gone. I came to church and God started to heal my broken heart.“ She returned home after a year, a different person. Another highlight was in February when Jim married a young couple (from France and Australia). They had worshipped here for some months, before leaving for France. Last year we lost thirteen of our core group, as they moved to other parts of NZ and beyond. Five more folk have arrived, and we are trusting others will make Wanaka their permanent home. For now, we touch people’s lives for a brief season and trust God to do a transforming work, equipping them for the next stage of their journey. Will you pray for us and the work here? If you are nearby on holiday, come join us!”

Easter Camp Coming up online and in our June print issue... the Easter Camp download! If you’re reading this over Easter weekend, thousands of young people all over NZ will be at an Easter Camp, which combines organised chaos with the heart of Jesus! Please be praying for these young people, not only this weekend but also as they return home and continue day-to-day life. We’ll be bringing you stories soon.

Scholarship for Roi Nu Roi Nu Maran is the first Kachin (Burmese) to be accepted into the pastoral leadership training programme at Carey Baptist College. She was born into a family with eleven brothers and sisters, two of them now pastoring in Thailand and Myanmar. She and her sister left Myanmar due to the political situation, and were accepted as refugees to NZ in 2008. The challenges have been hard, both learning English and a western method of education. She persevered and finished a Bachelor in Applied Theology last year, and is responding to God’s call to be a Pastor. The Northern Baptist Association, together with the Ethnic Ministry team, set up a scholarship fund for migrant Baptist Pastors to study at Carey. She is the first recipient of this scholarship.

The following incident – narrated by a soldier at the front – should give comfort and cheer to many whose hearts are sore to think of the servants of Christ called out to the terrible work of the battle-field. “The battle was in progress, and our trenches were being raked by the enemy’s fire,” wrote Private C–, “when along the line came the order ‘Charge!’ Onward we rushed into a perfect hail of bullets. Many of our men bit the dust, but we who remained came to grips with the enemy. I cannot write of what happened then. The killing of men is a ghastly business. On the way back to the trenches, I saw a poor German soldier trying to get his water-bottle. He was in a fearful condition. I knelt down by his side. His bottle was empty, so I gave him water from mine. Somewhat revived, he opened his eyes and saw my Salvation Army button. His drawn face lit up with a smile, and he whispered in broken English: ‘I also am a Salvation soldier.’ Then he felt for his Army budgie. It was still pinned to his coat, but bespattered with blood. I think we both shed a few tears, and then I picked up his poor broken body, and, amid the terrible hail of death which had begun again, carried him to the ambulance. But he was beyond human aid. When I placed him on the waggon he gave a gentle tug at my coat; bending low to listen, I heard the whisper: ‘Jesus, safe with Jesus.’” __ Story: Alice Jane Home 1915

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AWAKENING SPIRITUAL PARENTING IN TODAY’S FAMILIES

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Perhaps you are like me;i everywhere I turn, there isi someone having an inspiringi discussion about Family Ministryi and the need to raise up spirituali parentsiin the home. Or maybe youi relateimore to my experience asi aiyoung mom, wondering, “willi Iimake it through this day alivei and sane?!” Yet now, just one yeari away from being an empty nester,i I can’t help but wonder how it alli happened so fast!i Getting through each day Recently I did a search on amazon.com. There was such a wide array of ‘help books’ for parents, something for everyone; books on ADD, bedtime, discipline, defiance, curfew, complaining, bed-wetting, biting, finances, friends, fighting in the car (an entire book about managing automobile arguments!), manners, media, potty training... you name it! There are even books that promise that you can literally fix everything that is ‘wrong’ with your child in one week! These are the issues that control the very lives of parents—these issues are relevant. Each day is spent accomplishing a vast list of important... and not so important tasks. Is there something more? But even as the necessary duties fill our days, there is something spiritual about parenting that often gets lost in the mundane. The church desperately needs parents who are awakened, who hunger for more than merely getting through the day! Researcher George Barna said that, “every dimension of a person’s life experience hinges on his or her moral and spiritual condition.”1 Think about it; what you believe and where you aim your heart determines the direction and outcome of your entire life through eternity. Eternity is at stake. What is more relevant than that?

Dream with me for a moment; what would this new generation look like if parents chose to lead every situation from a spiritually forming, eternal perspective? To not merely spend their hours, but invest their days? As the church, we need to help awaken parents to their God-given roles; helping them to see that the spiritual vitality of their life and the life of their child is relevant. It’s time for kid’s leaders and Pastors to see their role as not merely organizing or coordinating programmes, but pastoring, shepherding and inspiring families to partake in a future of spiritual formation. Spiritual parenting is not perfect parenting... but rather imperfect parenting from a spiritual perspective. This means parenting with eternity in mind, parenting with spiritual formation in mind. So what is spiritual formation? Spiritual formation can be an intimidating concept for many. We feel ill-equipped to understand it, let alone do it. Yet spiritual formation is simply how the Spirit of God forms us to be more like Christ. The phrase ‘spiritual formation’ comes from Gal. 4:19 where the Apostle Paul writes to the young church. He writes that he longs for the time that “Christ is formed in you.” In a letter to the church in Philippi, Paul shares how this process happens in cooperation with the Spirit, since He is the one who gives us the power and the desire to obey (Phil. 2:13). Jesus said that faith would be the one thing He’d be looking for upon His return (Luke 18: 8). Since God’s design was for faith formation to be passed down from generation to

A LEGACY OF FAITH

A note from Karen Warner, Children and Family Ministries Team Leader of the Baptist Churches of NZ. The spiritual nurture of children and parents is core to the future of the church. However, passing on a legacy of faith as per Deuteronomy 6, can seem impossible in a society where children and adults are increasingly segregated and stressed. It’s time for the church to become countercultural. I love a phrase that Michelle Anthony uses here, “dreaming of more.” If you were to dream more for the children in your church and local community, what would it look like? At Baptist Children and Family Ministry we are dreaming big; we desire to see churches as places where children are not only valued and welcomed but seen as fellow pilgrims on the faith journey, where parents are seen as partners with the faith community in the spiritual nurture of the next generation and where old and young alike know each other, encourage each other and point each other in the direction of Jesus. Our role is to inspire, equip and support the local church as it seeks to make these dreams a reality. You can contact us for further information and resources at childrensministry@baptist.org.nz, 09 526 7598, bcfm.org.nz

generation (Ps. 78), we must be effective in our faith formation of this generation so that they will be able to pass it on to the following generation in our absence. This is when we will know that our ministry to our children has been successful!

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Parenting the soul Faith formation stands in contrast to merely controlling the behavior of your child. Rather it is learning to parent the soul; the soul learns differently than the mind. Since our churches have adopted much of the modern educational system, our curriculum/parenting often falls short of dealing with genuine issues of faith. Without intending to, it is all too easy to begin to focus our efforts on the outcomes of faith – behavior. Without even knowing it, good behavior can become an end in itself, both in our homes and within our ministries. The danger in merely focusing on our children’s outward behavior (without inner transformation), is that sometimes our children will align their behavior to our mandates to please us or receive approval. They can end up doing or not doing things without true spiritual healing inside. Without this supernatural transformation, we have moral or obedient children, but we do not necessarily have spiritual children. Before long, our children grow up and will be determining life for themselves without exterior motivators to obey. So then in adulthood, they

have one of several options. They can live genuinely transformed by God’s Spirit, they can live sinfully without a desire to change, or they can live hiding their sin in a double life. You can say, “don’t fall in love with the world,” or you can say, “fall in love with Jesus and the world will look less attractive.” Just as the author of Hebrews calls us to “fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (Heb. 12:2), the charge is to look to Jesus. The church needs family empowered ministries not only to raise up a generation of faith followers, but also to raise up a generation of spirituallyminded parents. So the role of Children’s and Family Ministries becomes to inspire, equip and support parents to cooperate and participate with what God is already doing in the lives of His children. What a liberating way of seeing the role of pastoring and parenting! __ Story: Michelle Anthony Michelle Anthony taught a paper about Children and Family Ministry last year at Carey Baptist College. She has written a number of books and has led Children and Family Ministries for more than 25 years. She holds postgraduate degrees in Christian Education and Bible and Theology.

Resources • See davidccook.com and michelleanthony.org for further input. Check out Michelle’s practical follow-on article ‘What’s Spiritual about Parenting’ on baptistmag.org.nz

TAKE OUTS! 1. Do you read this article as another thing to do, or could you allow this be liberate you in your parenting? 2. How do you determine ‘success’ in your parenting? 3. Do you find it easy to invest in your child’s spiritual life? What could you do to further explore this? 4. How do you see the role of Children’s Pastors and Sunday School? 5. If you are a Pastor, are there elements of your Children’s Programmes that may need to change? How could you further support parents in developing the spiritual life of their children?

George Barna. 2003. Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions. Ventura. Regal Books.

Let’s take it to the next level...

PROJECT INFO

CURRENT NEEDS

When: Mid April to early May, 2015.

Prayer: Please pray. You can subscribe for prayer updates at: AllTogether.co.nz. Giving: Donate at: AllTogether.co.nz/donate. Every 60 cents gets the gospel to another home. As at 1st March 2015, $340,000 more is needed for Phase II. Bank details: BNZ: 02-0466-0307987-001 Preparation: Get equipped to engage the conversation using the online videos at:

What: The gospel to every home in NZ (the 2nd of 3 efforts to engage a conversation). How: Targeted TV ads, a new booklet, 3 websites, social media interaction — and you. Partner your Church: Go to AllTogether.co.nz/partnership

AllTogether.co.nz/equipping-videos

You can also help take booklets to people at the doors of houses with ‘no circulars’ signs on their letterboxes.

...because an extraordinary conversation has begun! The Hope Project has been a hugely visible outreach on behalf of Christian churches throughout New Zealand. Feedback from Christians and non-Christians alike has been significant. With your help we’ve started an extraordinary conversation. It happens again this April/May 2015, and then for a final time at Easter 2016. Let’s make the most of it!

Hope Project: PO Box 6078, Brookfield, Tauranga 3146

C U LT U R E

/ Baptist

THE GOSPEL MAKING A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE Host or guest? Andrew Picard reflects on our true place in Jesus’ Kingdom.

New Zealand is a very multicultural country and isi becoming more diverse each year. Our population hasi one of the highest percentage of people bornii overseas, and Auckland is now more multicultural thani London or Sydney.1i The changing face of New Zealand raises questions about identity and belonging in New Zealand society. This question stands also in the church and requires us to consider what kind of welcome the ‘stranger’ receives in our churches. Where once there were settled assumptions about who is and what it means to be a Kiwi, these assumptions are being challenged and stretched by a growing world of difference. Like many countries, New Zealand has had a checkered history when it comes to welcoming strangers.

Two significant examples of this are the treatment of Chinese migrants in the 19th and early 20th centuries through the Chinese ‘poll tax,’ and the ‘Dawn Raids’ carried out on Polynesian factory workers in the 1970s. A recent study of the attitudes of New Zealand born young adults towards immigrants showed there is still work to do. Many of the young adults who were interviewed perpetuated the idea that ‘they’ need to fit in by becoming like ‘us.’ When one young interviewee was asked what makes a New Zealander, they replied, “I think it’s someone who embraces our culture and likes the way we live and all our values.”2 The assumption here is that immigrants are regarded as ‘guests’ who must conform to the ways of the ‘host.’ These ideals of hosting and guesting have inherent power assumptions embedded within them. The host is ‘at home’ and welcomes the guest on the condition that they change to abide by house rules. These conditional forms of

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welcome, and their assumed structures of power, fly in the face of the gospel and the calling of the church. The New Testament offers a welcome alternative of belonging together in a community of difference. Jesus’ New Community In Luke 7, Jesus visits the house of Simon the Pharisee for a meal. Simon assumes that he is hosting Jesus as a guest, and he becomes upset about

the intrusion of a strange woman. As the episode unfolds, we find instead that Jesus becomes the host and invites Simon, and all of us, as guests in his new kingdom community. In the kingdom, we do not allocate the identities of ‘host’ and ‘guest’ – belonging is because of Jesus, not us. Jesus establishes a community of the different who belong in and through Him. In this new community, Jesus calls us to learn to love the

people who He already loves, and to be transformed together. This call to loving the stranger and being transformed together became central for the earliest churches. As the earliest churches developed, they began to wrestle with the difficult realities of the gospel’s demands. The church at Corinth had significant issues with division between those who saw themselves as the sovereign hosts of the

CHALLENGING OUR ASSUMPTIONS

“Growing up Deaf in a hearing world meant missing out on a lot of things. For example, communication was difficult and therefore relating to others was difficult. We went to church to please our parents but we were very isolated. At church, we could understand simple things about Jesus but detail was lost. When we met with other Deaf people, we relaxed because we could communicate and identify with their experiences. We are part of a church with both hearing and Deaf people. It’s great but it has its challenges. For example, the sermon is interpreted but it is not as easy to understand as when we meet in a Deaf cultural environment. In our Deaf home group, we really value studying the Bible together but accessing the Bible is more complicated than simply reading it. For many of us, English is not our first language,

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sign language is. New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) is a distinct language with its own grammar and syntax. So someone who is bilingual in NZSL and English needs to translate the passage from English into NZSL. To sign the Bible word for word, following the English, would be really boring and hard to understand, so it needs to be expressed in NZSL. We also use other visual techniques, for example drama and powerpoint with lots of pictures. Where hearing people have voice intonation to help in communication, facial expression and storytelling in sign language is really important. Because, in our home group, we study the Bible and discuss it in sign language, we can keep up and this opens up so much understanding of who God is. We love for everyone to understand as well, so stopping and asking questions and explaining it to each other is encouraged.

moment into Auslan (Australian Sign Language), but it takes a huge amount of resources and we just don’t have that in New Zealand, so we study the Bible together, when it can be translated ‘live’ into NZSL. We also have the question, “what is Deaf worship?” For hearing church, we translate the songs beforehand so we can sign them the same time hearing people are singing them. A hearing person cues us for the timing, and a Deaf person then signs them for the rest of the Deaf people to copy. But we don’t really relate to the sung worship. It is the hearing way. And we can’t close our eyes because we wouldn’t know what was going on. We would naturally be less structured, move more and use more facial expression. We want to explore more about what Deaf worship is, which is likely not singing, but we don’t have the opportunity in a hearing church.” __ Story: Sarah Vaine and Julie Coxhead

We don’t have a Bible in NZSL; Australia is translating it at the

Julie is married to Peter and is also a NZSL interpreter.

PHOTO: DAVID PRENTICE

eaf culture is one example where this ‘host’ and ‘guest’ concept has been, and is still occurring. Peter Coxhead and Sheila Gibbons, both from Titirangi Baptist Church, share part of their story.

community (the strong) and those who they deemed to be dependent guests (the weak). The subtle message the hosts conveyed to guests was, “I have no need of you” (1 Cor. 12:21), and the guests were left feeling, “I do not belong to the body” (1 Cor. 12:14). Paul writes to explain how the gospel subverts these assumptions of power and the dynamics of hosting and guesting. The church is not ordered by human cultural assumptions, but by God. In the body of Christ, there are no sovereign hosts or submissive guests, only disciples who are together being formed into the image of Christ. God has arranged the body as a place of belonging, growing, and learning together. This means that settled expressions and practices of the church are changed, renewed

and enriched as we learn to receive God’s gift of different people, cultures, expressions and practices. In Jesus’ new community, the message to the stranger is not, “great you’re here, now change to become like us,” but, “how is God changing us so that we might together become more like Christ?” The changing face of New Zealand offers the church an opportunity to once again render our lives to God in order that God might shape us to be a community where the gospel is making a world of difference. __ Story: Andrew Picard Andrew Picard teaches applied theology at Carey Baptist College and is a doctoral student in theology at the University of Otago.

Vaimoana Tapaleao. 2014. Auckland now more diverse than London. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11213317 2 Avril Bell. Being ‘At Home’ in the Nation: Hospitality and Sovereignty in Talk About Immigration. Ethnicities 10 (2010): 236-56 1

The church is not ordered by human cultural assumptions, but by God.

TAKE OUTS! 1. Reflect on this question from the article: “how is God changing us so that we might together become more like Christ?

2. Can you identify areas in your life where you have taken on the guest or host role inappropriately?

3. What could you do to address this?

Baptist / L E A D E R S H I P

LEADING MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS Moving past the everyday conversations, to a place of spiritual depth.

How often do we find ourselves walking away fromi a conversation where we know we should have movedi past the superficial, to a place of spirituali depth? Joel Young explores how we can be morei intentionaliabout this.i

in your relationships, and in a conversation will speak at a louder volume than your words. Your ‘being’ doesn’t lie. We are spirit first, and body, mind, feelings, behaviour second, so it makes sense that what our spirit is full of will be communicated, felt, and experienced by those we are with.

I was shy, about eighteen, and at a function with people I didn’t know well. I was probably standing around awkwardly, when a guy approached me. I didn’t know him well and I don’t remember his name, but the question he asked, struck me; “How’s you and God?”

I say this mindful of the many times where I have witnessed someone teaching a topic with his words, but inferring another message.

It struck me because, all at once, the question was caring, confronting and considerate. It asked about how I really was. It made few assumptions. And his manner, just as important as the words of the question, was somehow nonjudgemental, and accepting of whatever my answer was going to be. I felt safe.

Being curious, accepting, vulnerable, and fully human, positions you to end up in meaningful conversations much more than being aloof, critical, all knowing, or full of ideas.

So whilst it might have seemed a little random, he was asking a question that we might not be all that good at, one that is an essential leadership skill. Let’s unpack some of the aspects behind this careful intention.

Start by being curious God is always at work in people’s lives. I love David Riddell’s concept of ‘advocate evangelism’ in his Living Wisdom course. He points out that listening for where God is already working with a person gives us opportunity to advocate in the process of making each of us more Christ like. Sometimes careful observation is required to see his gentle love at work. Do not forget to leave your agenda aside for a moment so you can clearly hear God’s.

Let’s talk about conversation Meaningful conversation is as much about the way you ‘be’ as it is the way you ‘do.’ The way you ‘be’ in this world,

I like to think about it like this – if God pointed out all the stupid things I was doing all at once, there would be nothing left of me. So, as God doesn’t seem to do that, where is the

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C O N V E R S AT I O N B L O C K E R S

• • • • • •

Lack of skills around asking questions Lack of care – fatigue/burnout Lack of listening skills – want to teach but not listen Priorities – doing is more important than connecting Not comfortable with pain and not-knowing Scared of vulnerability – haven’t faced your own pain

C O N V E R S AT I O N D E V E L O P E R S

•

Use both open, and focussing questions Listen for feelings and needs • Listen for pain and growth • Listen to your intuition, feelings, and God in you • Go first, be vulnerable •

place that God is inviting change in this person? How can I listen for God at work and invite conversation around this topic? Be curious about success! Encouragement motivates and energises. For instance, somebody may share a personal win, and being in New Zealand, probably quite subtlely. So, because we are often not good at encouraging ourselves, celebrate with them and explore the story! What was different this time? What was that like for you? Take a curious stance, put what you know aside for a while, ask questions and listen. Even Jesus, whose name is synonymous with Truth, asked hundreds of questions. Ask, “where is God (Truth, Reality, Love) in this situation? What does God want to give this person? In what way is God showing this person His love? How does God see this person right now?” Ask, and then please, listen! Listen After a football game a teammate asked me what I had been up to, but promptly answered his own question, “I already know what you have been up to, I’ve seen it on Facebook.” Again, before I could speak, he said in a slightly sad tone, “it kind of ruins conversation, aye?”

With an exponential increase in the use of social media and apps like Snapchat and Facebook, the art of conversation is a changing landscape. People are the same. We crave connection and affirmation. These apps are a safe (ish) place to go to get ‘ego strokes,’ which can feel a bit like connection, but they are hollow in comparison to meaningful conversation. Deep down we just want to see and be seen, but like in the example given by Adam and Eve, we often take any opportunity to cover up and hide. The more we hide, the scarier it is to come out. Anxiety and depression are like the modern plague, and perhaps social media makes society more vulnerable by offering such an easy way to hide. Leaders have an amazing opportunity to contribute here by calling people out of hiding, following from God’s lead in Genesis, “where are you?” We lead people into connection by starting meaningful conversations. Courageously asking questions that change the plane of conversation to a level that actually matters. Then listening with an intent that draws people out, with an air of acceptance and grace that evokes vulnerability. My post-footy conversation had a subtext that went something like this; “Hey Joel, I’m keen to get to know you better, and I’m feeling a bit sad that Facebook makes this more difficult.” I ignored his actual words and responded as if he had said his true intention, and we had a great meaningful conversation. Had I listened to his mere words I would have brushed it off as just a smart comment and walked away. Don’t listen to their story, listen for what it means to them. What are they feeling? What are they needing? What does this really mean to them? Where might growth be? Where might pain be? Where might there be unrecognised progress to celebrate? Where might there be hidden hope? When we merely discuss ideas, our minds may meet, but our souls remain strangers.

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Be Fully Human Pain and vulnerability are part of being human, but sometimes leaders can feel they are not allowed these experiences. Check in with yourself. Do you avoid strong feelings? Are you hesitant to talk about emotional pain? Are you afraid you will not know the answers? I believe that it is in facing our own pain that we learn how to struggle alongside others. When we have faced our own pain, it also means that we are more likely to share it when appropriate. I’m not talking here about telling our entire story when we are trying to listen to others. It is more our overall stance. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, this will come across in all our interactions. If we want people around us to feel comfortable sharing with us, they need to know we are as they are – fully human; completely amazing yet broken, frail yet strong, and deep down, longing for connection. Ultimately, leadership is not about being perfect, it’s about going first. __

Meaningful conversation is as much about the way you ‘be’ as it is the way you ‘do.’

Suggested resources Books • Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life – Richard Rohr • Understanding People: Deep Longings for Relationship – Larry Crabb • Speak Peace in a World of Conflict – Marshall Rosenburg • Telling Each Other the Truth – William Backus • God Space: Where Spiritual Conversations Happen Naturally – Doug Pollock • Brene Brown – You Tube & Ted Talks

TAKE OUTS! 1. What stood out to you in this article and why?

2. What is God’s invitation to

Courses • Living Wisdom – David Riddell • Joel Young’s website: newinsight.co.nz

Don’t listen to their story, listen for what it means to them

Story: Joel Young Joel Young attends Whangaparaoa Baptist Church. He has a Bachelor in Counselling and is the Managing Director of New Insight, providing counselling and corporate training.

Food Box

you here and what are you going to do about it? Do you find that leading conversations into a place of spiritual depth comes naturally to you? How often do you stop and ask God what He is already doing in the lives around you? How easy do you find it to listen to the meaning behind the statement? Are you able to listen without having to know all the answers? How do you react to the paragraph ‘Be Fully Human?’

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