April 2010 Senior Living Magazine Island Edition by INSPIRED 55+ Lifestyle Magazine

APRIL 2010 TM

Vancouver Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine

PEN & PAINT Judith Millar

Heavenly Hike

Hit the trails this spring

50+ Active Living Celebration

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APRIL 2010

(Vancouver Island) is published by Stratis Publishing. Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid

FEATURES

Contributors Goldie Carlow, Brent Cassie, Jane Cassie, Judee Fong, Gipp Forster, Kevin Growcott, Margaret Growcott, Enise Olding, Rosalind Scott, Jennifer Shore, Vernice Shostal, Barbara Small

50+ Active Living Celebration brings together vendors, entertainers and visitors for a gala event.

editor@seniorlivingmag.com

Copy Editor Allyson Mantle Proofreader Holly Bowen Advertising Manager

Barry Risto 250-479-4705 For advertising information, call 250-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Sales Staff

Ann Lester 250-390-1805 Mathieu Powell 250-589-7801 Barry Risto 250-479-4705 Contact Information – Head Ofﬁce

Senior Living Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 Phone 250-479-4705 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 Fax 250-479-4808 E-mail ofﬁce@seniorlivingmag.com Website www.seniorlivingmag.com Subscriptions: $32 (includes GST, postage and handling) for 12 issues. Canadian residents only. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag.com Senior Living Vancouver Island is distributed free throughout Vancouver Island. Stratis Publishing Ltd. publishes Senior Living Vancouver Island (12 issues per year) and Senior Living Vancouver & Lower Mainland (12 issues per year). ISSN 1710-3584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

DEPARTMENTS

4 Gala Event

6 Word Craft

Whether she’s putting pen to paper or paint to canvas, Judith Millar is always creating.

9 On the Sea Shore

Eric McMorran shares a lifetime of memories by his beloved sea shore.

14 Water Required

If adding a water feature to your garden this spring sounds like a daunting task, call in reinforcements.

18 Telling Tales

22 BBB Scam Alert 23 Classiﬁeds 30 Resource Directory

COLUMNS 2 The Family Caregiver by Barbara Small

13 Outrageous & Courageous by Pat Nichol

27 Ask Goldie

by Goldie Carlow

32 Reﬂections: Then & Now

With a fertile imagination and infectious humour, author Bernice Williams takes her readers to a land of Make Believe.

by Gipp Forster

20 A Birthday Wish

Cover Photo: Artist Judith Millar points out the energetic brushwork in her painting Animation in Aquamarine. Story page 6. Photo: Enise Olding

To what length would you go for a birthday gift?

24 Restoring honour and dignity

Rev. Tom Oshiro wasn’t just passing time in retirement when he joined the Mustard Seed Food Bank; he was answering a calling.

28 One Heavenly Hike

For a heart-pounding workout and breaktaking views, consider Diez Vistas Trail this spring.

Call today to experience the Beltone difference.

1-800-748-3499 10 Vancouver Island locations to serve you. APRIL 2010

THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

Stress Management Strategies

you from sleeping and problem-solve that situation. There are two routes to stress management: learn strategies to help reduce stress once it develops – such as deep breathing, relaxation or exercise or be proactive and change your lifestyle so stress is less likely to develop in the first place. Proactive techniques include learning to be assertive, asking for help and expressing your feelings.

he demands of caregiving – providing personal care, running errands, keeping up with housework, navigating the healthcare system and dealing with family members – can have both an emotional and physical toll. Add to that trying to balance the rest of one’s life, and it is not surprising that many family caregivers experience burnout. Responses to stress can be classified into three categories – physical, psychological and behavioural. Physical responses – our body responds to the internal alarm created by stress with a fight-or-flight response, such as rapid breathing, headaches, indigestion or tense muscles. Psychological responses – we can respond to stress with a change in emotions, concentration, and our ability to complete tasks or interact with others. Stress can also reveal itself in behavioural changes, such as eating, clumsiness, insomnia or restlessness. When you are aware of how you respond to stress, you can use these changes as signals. Then, rather than simply addressing the symptom, you can look at your situation, explore what might be causing the stress and work at a resolution. For example, instead of taking a sleeping pill, explore what is preventing

Below are some strategies to help manage the stress of caregiving: Take time for self-care, such as exercising, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, connecting with others and asking for help. You are not being selfish when you take care of yourself. If you get sick, who is going to take care of both of you? Have realistic expectations about your abilities. You can provide a certain amount of care, but likely cannot do everything alone. Know when to ask for help and be willing to share the care.

BY BARBARA SMALL

vide respite care and services for family caregivers. Attend a support group where you can share your concerns and receive support. Gather information about your family member’s health problems and how their needs are likely to change over time. This will help you prepare in advance for these changes. Make adaptations around the home or use available assistive devices to allow the person you are caring for to be more independent. Have a sense of humour. Laughter helps puts things into a positive perspective and relieves stress. Look for the humour in situations and make time SL to go out and have fun. Next Month: Remembering to Play

Barbara Small is Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society.

Reach out and accept support. Ask family members or friends to help with some of the day-to-day tasks. Contact community organizations that pro-

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APRIL 2010

GALA EVENT BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

he fifth annual 50+ Active Living Celebration took place at Pearkes Recreation Centre in Victoria on March 5, highlighting colourful displays, toe-tapping music, singing, dancing, and a highly charged motivational presentation. The celebration is hosted by Senior Living magazine and helps kick off Embrace Aging Month, an initiative of the Greater Victoria Eldercare Foundation. The event offers a full day of activities and entertainment with interactive demonstrations and exhibits by senior-focused businesses and organizations. Over 70 displays included massages, reiki, jewelry, musicians, tours, authors, artists, financial advice, social opportunities, retail, pharmaceuticals, care homes, hobbies such as philately and model trains, genealogical society, yummy treats, on-site antique appraisals by Senior Living columnist Michael Rice and much more. “First time I’ve come to something like this,” said a 54year-old Esquimalt woman. “I’m looking at things specifically for my elderly parents. The music is lovely. Everything is well done.” Duncan resident and author Suzanne Anderson was also a first-timer. “I didn’t realize how big this was. I’m really impressed with this show, both the displays and the entertainment are phenomenal.” Accordionist Mary Ross began the entertainment portion of the gala event with lively renditions of Scottish, Irish and German music followed by the Victoria Ballroom Dance Society that boasted 783 members at the end of last year. For the second year in a row, the energetic M’Toni Malaika Marimba Band played their traditional South African music, which they seemed to enjoy as much as the audience. The Gypsy Rovers, Grandview Trio, Dixie Land Dudes and Vic O’Brien (vocals and guitar) offered traditional songs that sent visitors back in time. The Village Squires, led by music teacher Renee Michele Walrafen, is a chapter of the time-honoured barbershop Harmony Society, an international

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organization of male singers that boasts more than 30,000 members worldwide. Motivational speaker Vic Lindal spoke on “Adult Adventure Deficit Disorder,” a disease caused by procrastination. The former coach of Canada’s National Women’s Volleyball team talked about PET scans in brain research, which revealed that certain parts of the brain that lit up when a group of people was learning to play the piano were the same parts of the brain that lit up when a control group only visualized playing the piano. “Visualize with an end point,” said Vic, citing golfer Jack Nicklaus as an example of someone who visualizes his game. “We create our own reality and we walk into the future we hold in our visualization. You have to get a picture of what it is you want to do.” The last performance by the Victoria Old Time Sequence Dancers ended with an invitation for audience participation. The only requirement, the audience was told,

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were two left feet. Buses from Port Alberni, Courtenay, Campbell River and points in between brought visitors to Victoria for the day. “We’ve been to every booth,” said Dolores Hill, a repeat visitor from Courtenay. “We learned a lot and saw a lot of good stuff.” An added bonus was a chance to win a seven-night Alaskan Cruise for two, offered by Cruise Holidays Pacific in partnership with Celebrity Cruises. The winner, J. M. Stewart of Victoria, will be travelling in an Ocean View cabin onboard the Celebrity Mercury on September 5. Senior Living Magazine Publisher Barbara Risto welcomed and thanked participants, sponsors and guests, while columnist Pat Nichol emceed the event. “We are very pleased with the response to this year’s festival,” said Barbara. “Once again, we had every booth filled and a steady stream of visitors from start to finish. I was approached near the end of the event by a couple who said they had never been to the festival before – they had been there since 11 a.m. and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. It is gratifying to hear this SL kind of feedback and know we have done our job well.”

Special Thanks To: Saanich Municipality: Venue Sponsor Alexander Mackie: $2,000 Cash Sponsorship Bayshore Home Care: $2,000 Cash Sponsorship Cruise Holidays Paciﬁc & Celebrity Cruises: Alaska Cruise Give-Away Paciﬁc Audio Works: Services Discount Island Tents: Services Discount Volunteers, including Saanich Volunteers McAllister Media: Event Organizers CFAX: Promotional Discount Times Colonist: Promotional Discount Pat Nichol, MC of Celebration Fotoprint: Donation to the Greater Victoria Eldercare Foundation from printing costs associated with the Celebration Celebration Performers Business & 50+ Exhibitors

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APRIL 2010

WORD CRAFT her stories. It was her mother’s wish that Judith be a pianist like herself, so while Judith duly practised, she’d hide a book behind the sheet music. “I remember reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn while I played my scales,” says Judith. Captivated by the written word, young Judith also discovered she could use words in creative and interesting ways. As a youngster, she would use her childish wit to help lighten the mood at home and thereby discovered the power of humour. “I’d try to make daddy laugh,” Judith recalls. “I’ve since read that many comedians used words to help defuse situations in their childhoods.” At Wilfrid Laurier University, Judith pursued her love of words and majored in English and French. Proficient in Spanish as well, she thought of a career as a simultaneous translator. But she

BY ENISE OLDING

Photo: Enise Olding

candy store where all treats are free might be the fantasy of many small children but, for the young Judith Millar, the local library contained the stuff of which her dreams were made. “The most amazing thing to me was that you were allowed to borrow any book at all from the library. Even many at once!” she laughs. For Judith, this was largesse almost too wonderful to comprehend and it was available to anyone and everyone. No wonder, then, that Judith became an avid reader of all types of books and a prolific writer whose work is widely recognized. Born and raised in Southern Ontario, Judith says she was happiest when curled up with a book lost in reading. Ill health meant her mother was often unwell, requiring much of her father’s attention, and Judith could escape into

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decided there might be too much competition and adjusted her sights and let her love of words lead her along other pathways. Having inherited his mother’s musical talent, Judith’s brother, Ron, played bass guitar and toured with bands. In their spare time, Judith and Ron would work together; he’d compose the music and she would write the lyrics, then Ron would sing on the demo. One of their songs caught the attention of then teen idol Ricky Nelson and, “we were invited to come to the U.S. (on our own dime) to try penning some songs,” says Judith. At the time, she was a young mom and sighs, “with no cash and lots of responsibilities, it seemed too far-fetched, but who knows where it might have led?” This fledgling combination of sibling talents was destined to bloom more fruitfully in the future in the form of children’s entertainer RONNO Song, which has earned numerous awards and, over the years, the pair have written more than 100 songs together. Judith continued putting words to work in other ways as an advertising copywriter and, at one time, wrote rhyming verse for a large greeting card company. “I wrote hundreds, perhaps thousands, of verses – special occasion and inspirational,” she says, adding, “The market is obviously all about birthdays – but I loved writing condolences for the change of pace!” Insurance writing was another avenue down which Judith’s words took her. She worked as a Communications Manager and her report writing skills earned her awards. But she missed creative writing, and when the time came in her life to relocate and take the opportunity to downsize, Judith had a chance to focus on developing a long-time area of interest – using words to write essays, poems and short stories for adults. Judith and her husband had been thinking of moving to Phoenix for the winters, but after attending a conference in Seattle and taking a side trip to visit a friend in Nanaimo, it became clear to them that Vancouver Island would be the perfect place to settle. Judith is now in a position to pursue her writing ambitions, and her diligence has more than paid off. “I’ve been encouraged by a number of prizes I’ve won,” she says, which include the Alice Munro Festival of Writing prize for a short story, the 2009 Nanaimo Fiction contest and, in particular, the John Kenneth Galbraith Literary Award in 2009 for an extended version of her short story “The Insomniac.” Continuing her education, Judith took a third year novel-writing course at Vancouver Island University and has now embarked on two novels. “But all these words aren’t much good if they don’t reach a reader,” she says. Judith writes, she says, “to entertain, to connect with people’s emotions, to give them an experience of some sort. That’s one reason I was delighted to discover Nanaimo’s monthly WordStorm when I came to the Island.” Through WordStorm Judith and fellow writers have a venue where they can read original writing to live audiences. “Writing is such a solitary experience,” says Judith, that “it’s great for me, and other writers, to be able to try out new material and develop spoken word skills on stage. Being part of the WordStorm crew, as well as a member of a writing group called Easy Writers, has helped me overcome some of the loneliness and homesickness I

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felt on moving to the Island.” When the opportunity presented itself for Judith and fellow writer, Cindy Shantz, to perform at Nanaimo’s Port Theatre in the Random Acts – Studio on Stage series, they jumped at the chance. Calling themselves WordChickz, the pair’s premiere of Eclucktomania was staged early in February. The name reflects the eclectic nature of originally written material they offered including, “everything from humorous pieces about the communication problems that can arise between men and women, to a poem about the point of view of a dog, along with a serious short story about a woman coming to terms with her mother’s Alzheimer’s,” says Judith. In between all the words, Judith finds time to put down her pen and pick up a paintbrush, directing her attention to the canvas. As with her writing, Judith’s artwork runs the gamut from capturing local scenes, such as Piper’s Lagoon, to the portrait of a sax player she saw in Marina del Rey, to bold and larger abstract works. “Creativity always comes when you put different things together,” she muses, “one idea juxtaposes another idea and you find you didn’t know it was going to go in that direction.” Whether creating with words on paper, or paints on canvas, Judith relishes the prospect of the many possibilities and difSL ferent directions in which each genre might take her. For more information and sample of Judith’s art, visit www.seniorlivingmag.com/Millar

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ON THE SEA

Shore

Photo: Enise Olding

BY ENISE OLDING

f Eric McMorran’s grandfather had joined his relatives in Australia, thousands of people would not have danced the light fantastic while overlooking the shores of Cordova Bay under the roof of McMorran’s Beach House. Instead Grandfather McMorran decided to take the CPR’s advice and check out opportunities offered in Western Cana-

da, which eventually led to his son George, along with wife Ida, settling in Cordova Bay. In the early 1920s, the couple opened up a small store and a tearoom. Their son, Eric, recalls that “there were only about four or five tables in the tearoom at that time,” but people loved being there. Eric cherishes every moment of his life there too. Growing up on the family property on and around the beach, Eric absorbed every aspect of the life his parents were building. They were innovative hard workers and the young Eric fell right into step. “Mother was strict with us boys,” he recalls. “I always wore a shirt and jacket; and she would caution us saying, ‘Boys, be careful of your carriage,’ meaning we should stand up straight,” he laughs as he points to the immaculate shirt, tie and jacket he is wearing, proving he still adheres to his mother’s strictures. The family lived across the road from the beach property. Eric and his older brother Bruce were enlisted to help with the business as soon as they were able. It was a while before the other two brothers came along, so Eric and Bruce became very close as they enthusiastically shared many of the chores. “In the beginning, I picked up litter around here and kept it tidy,” says Eric, “and the new tea house had a wooden sidewalk and I kept that clean too.” Later, when he was about seven years old, Eric was allowed to look after the one-cent candy case. “My dad always said the children took a long time to make up their minds about their choice of candy, so he turned it over to me,” he laughs, asserting that he was never tempted to help himself to the wares. Within a few years, Eric served customers ice cream cones, hotdogs and coffee. The McMorran camping facilities attracted people from Victoria and the tent platforms were filled with holidaymak-

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APRIL 2010

ers. It was rustic in those early days: campers would get their water from nearby creeks. Eventually, an auto court was built, an early version of a motel. “My brother and I would help mother to make the beds and stack the wood,” says Eric, whose role expanded within the family business. Cordova Bay was, in those days, remote and “visitors would come by auto or by bus. The bus driver would have to stay overnight because there would be nobody wanting to return to Victoria until the next day,” says Eric, adding “this was really out in the country then.” Having created a public access, the McMorran area of beachfront became a very popular place and was filled with guests. Eric’s dad, George, built a float and diving board for the young people, and branched out into renting boats. Then 12, Eric took over the management of the sea sleds, rowboats and canoes, which were rented out at the price of 25 cents per hour. “I had to watch the tide because people who visited did not know about tides,” he says. His responsibilities extended to checking on the condition of the boats, keeping them clean and in good working order. “I was raised to be very responsible,” he says, and was quite shocked on one occasion when later in the evening it was found that boat No. 3 was missing. “We got lamps and went out to look for it and we found it way down the beach on the rocks,” Eric recalls. He was always very careful not to scrape boats across the gravel so the lost and battered boat No. 3 really made an impression on him and his brother to be extra vigilant.

SENIOR LIVING

The family’s entrepreneurial spirit showed itself in Eric during the time when he was managing the boat rentals. He noticed that the flat-bottomed bench seat sea sleds were not renting as well as the other craft. He enlisted the help of his friend Freddy to go out in a sea sled and go up and down in front of the picnickers. Before long, the children spotted Freddy having a great time on the sea sled and started pestering their parents for a ride. Sure enough, there was an immediate rush on sea sled rentals. Somehow in the midst of all these occupations, and going to Royal Oak School and later Central High, Eric found time to take on a paper route, eventually earning enough to buy himself a bicycle. “I was very proud of that bicycle,” says Eric. “In fact, I still have it hanging on the wall in the garage.” On one occasion when there was a par-

ticularly thick edition of The Colonist, Eric had his bike stacked with papers on both the front and back but, in his haste, he missed a corner and ended up with papers strewn all over the street. Despite this setback and others, Eric endured, eventually acquiring a speedometre, generator light and even a radio for his treasured set of wheels. The sea-loving Eric not surprisingly joined the navy and spent a short time at HMCS Naden before going to Stanley Park for training. “I was very regimented in my behaviour,” he says, and so the military life suited him. With the navy, he was at Cornwallis for a year and then Cape Breton before he returned to Naden. His thoughts never far from the McMorran Beach House, Eric mused that the tearoom was used as a school during the war years. Returning to the family business, Eric assisted in the upgrading of the auto court and it was during some of his visits to pick up glass and other equipment, he met his wife Helen. “She worked at the place that provided these things,” he smiles, “and I enjoyed going there to get the mirrors and putty.” Lunch led to accompanying her to the Caledonia Society, attending church together, eventually getting married and having a son and daughter. McMorran’s Beach House demanded a great deal of Eric’s father’s time, plus he was the area postmaster and involved in the community. So, Eric took over the wildly popular dances. He had his own ideas on how to improve the facilities and run the dances and lost no time in upgrading the floor with the finest maple available, and introducing bands specializing in waltzes, foxtrots and to, as Eric says, “keep it smooth.” He would always wear a tuxedo; black in the winter and white in the summer. People came from far and wide to the dances, which became a mainstay at McMorran’s Beach House. In the late ’80s, the CBC heard about the ballroom on the beach and it was featured on the program On the Road Again. Eric says he was more interested in the family business than school and says that if his family had not been involved with McMorran’s Beach House and all of its projects over the years, he “would have been a part of whatever the family would have been doing because we were very close.”

Eric is happy to share his memories about his family and the local area, snippets of local lore and anecdotes, with whomever is interested. He’s always ready with a humorous story, such as when his dad spearheaded a local drive to get hydro to the lone 15 occupants of the area by using his status as postmaster to lobby for action. Apart from his deep love for his family, an enduring part of Eric’s life has been his involvement in his Masonic Lodge. The Lodge’s structure and the disciplined environment appeal to him. It has helped keep his life in balance. Raised, quite literally, on the seashore, Eric has a passion for the water and fishing. Every year, he joins son Wallace on his boat and they head offshore, along with a few other friends, for a week of fishing. Wallace laughs as he says, “Dad used to be my fishing guide and now I’m his!” Be that as it may, chances are good that the lively Eric still has plenty of fishing anecdotes tucked away to share with SL all those on board.

Embrace the Journey - A Care Giver’s Story by Valerie Green The very personal story of her own journey as a care giver to her elderly parents. This is a story which will touch many hearts and be relevant for numerous adult children who, in midlife, are faced with a similar challenge and must make agonizing decisions and choices. It painfully addresses the problems encountered of ‘aging in place’ and the desire for loving couples to stay together in their home until the end of their lives. 96 pages. Softcover. 5.5” x 8.5” Published by Senior Living. Price $14.95 To order, please send cheque for $19.84 ($14.95 plus $3.95 S&H & GST) payable to Senior Living. MAIL TO: Embrace Book Offer c/o Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1

ASK A ��

seniorlivingmag.com

10-0353 WR Spring 3/15/10 2:11 PM 1949 SOOKE RD. 103Fling-SeniorLivingMag.qxp:SL - 1964 FORT ST. WWW.ISLANDMEDIQUIP.COM

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010 ~ 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm You’re invited! Come celebrate “all things spring”, as we host a complimentary afternoon of 50’s themed entertainment, food and fun. If you’ve never visited before, this is the perfect opportunity to experience just a few of the pleasures of our care-free retirement lifestyle. See you soon! Visit an Amica Wellness & Vitality™ Community in your neighbourhood or www.amica.ca Port Coquitlam ~ Amica at Mayfair ~ 604.552.5552 Kerrisdale ~ Amica at Arbutus Manor ~ 604.736.8936 West Vancouver ~ Amica at West Vancouver ~ 604.921.9181 Burnaby ~ Amica at Rideau Manor ~ 604.291.1792 Victoria ~ Amica at Douglas House ~ 250.383.6258 Victoria ~ Amica at Somerset House ~ 250.380.9121 Sidney ~ Amica at Beechwood Village ~ 250.655.0849

10-0353

Please include your clearly written shipping address and phone number. Allow two weeks for shipping. APRIL 2010

Scooter Safety & Awareness Event

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ome visit the scooter and safety awareness event: • Learn about the rules of the road and how to navigate the roads and sidewalks safely and legally from the Roadmasters Safety Group. • Take part in live demonstrations with buses from BC Transit and HandyDart and learn how to load and unload a scooter safely. • Learn about the physical and cognitive requirements required to operate a scooter from occupational therapists at Magma Rehabilitation. • Learn about new scooters on the marketplace and how to maintain and service them from Island Mediquip. As more scooters travel the roads and sidewalks of Greater Victoria, this event will highlight safety, awareness

and accessibility to services for those with scooters and those thinking about owning one. This free and informative event will take place on Friday, April 9 between 1:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. at Ross Place Retirement Residence (2638 Ross Lane) in Victoria. There will be free beverages and door prizes for those in SL attendance. Please RSVP to Ross Place at 250381-8666 or kajas@residencesallegro. com

www.queenswoodvictoria.ca/summer

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A Helpful Guide for Seniors Considering Their Residential Options

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Courageous s u o e g Outra

BY PAT NICHOL

Improving by Improv

Photo: Frances Litman

hen was the last time you stepped outside of your personal comfort zone? On the last day of February when the rest of the world was glued to their seats watching THE hockey game, I was pushing myself so far outside of my warm, cozy comfort zone, that I didn’t think I would ever be warm again. I don’t have a problem standing in front of an audience. Those of you who attended the 50+ Active Living Celebration the last few years know that. I love it! I love connecting with people, making them laugh and extending that connection between the audience and the performers. What I didn’t realize was that I have a problem being one of the performers. On that Sunday afternoon, I voluntarily registered myself for an improv class. Granted, my friend Laurie used the guilt card to get me to go. She wanted to take the class, but didn’t want to go alone. So being a good friend, I went along. Maybe many of you have tried improvisation and loved every minute. For the first hour and a half, I hated every minute. I was stiff and awkward; I couldn’t

make my mind and body work together. The prickles I was feeling were standing out all over. My body was rigid with tension. This was supposed to be fun? Not! Finally, I came to my senses. The only person standing between me having a good time and enjoying what our instructor Dave was giving to us was the inflexible and austere adult named Pat. I relaxed, allowed myself to be silly, to interact with others and, suddenly, it became much easier, certainly more fun and I found myself bounding up on the stage to volunteer. All of a sudden, my comfort zone had widened to encompass a new talent. Well, maybe not a talent, but certainly some new knowledge. Thank you Laurie, for talking me into it; and Dave for the patience to know how uncomfortable I was and for giving me the best piece of advice that an adult can receive. “It is okay to fail.” When you fail, cheer, because you have just learned a new way and created a new path in your brain. So, as we move into spring, practise failing and give yourself a giant round of applause when you do. See you at the next improv class! SL

Pat Nichol is a speaker and published author. She makes her home in Victoria, but travels the world. She can be reached at www.patnichol.com

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View Suite by appointment • Call 250-286-7274, ext. 1 APRIL 2010

WATER REQUIRED BY MARGARET GROWCOTT

ven the loveliest of gardens is improved by the addition of a water feature. So, we decided a pond was essential at our new house. What could be simpler? We had had ponds at our two previous homes, although we did not create them. On a hot afternoon, the calm splash of a fountain, where elusive goldfish and koi skulk, brings about peacefulness in an otherwise busy life. Every successful project requires a good staff. In our case, the staff members included an engineer – son No. 1; an architect – son No. 2; the chief financial officer – me; and the critic – my husband. The first three doubled as labourers. I had a modest water feature in mind: big enough for tadpole-sized fish. But when the engineer drew the outline on the lawn, it looked large enough to accommodate a

SENIOR LIVING

One of the author’s sons building a waterfall.

man-eating crocodile. On an unusually cool and cloudy day in June, work commenced in our Port Alberni half-acre lot. The engineer and architect soon produced a sizeable hole in the lawn resembling an archaeological dig. What to do with the excavated soil, which consisted of heavy clay? It was rapidly turning into a mountain. Somebody suggested it could be made into a pyramid. I pointed out that a pyramid needs to be next to something resembling a Sphinx or the River Nile to be properly effective. We decided to abandon any further ideas along these lines because I had not envisaged anything remotely Egyptian in my scenario. I had stated my desire for something along the lines of a waterfall and rock pool. I was keen for this structure to be made out of Yorkshire stone because my landscaping books stated they were usually made out of Yorkshire stone. This posed a problem as Yorkshire is a world away, and no one knew where to get this kind of stone. But I knew something akin to Yorkshire stone could be obtained, and I dreamed that night how next year our garden was going to top the list on the Annual Garden Tour. Hortitourists would even consider it a mini-Butchart Gardens. During the next few days, mud seemed to get everywhere – inside and out. Port Alberni has a special kind of mud – heavy clay, which adheres to everything and carries along other substances with it. When we worked on the “dig” and happened to walk too near the gravel path, we found ourselves several inches taller because of assorted layers accumulated en route to get tools or equipment. Some of the gravel was tracked into our freshly sown lawn, and there was an explosion when lawn mower met gravel and came to a grinding halt. Blades were damaged. The engineer said he had just the tool for that. I gritted my teeth, for there is nothing I detest more than the smell of burning metal in my basement. The next morning, I woke early to the sound of machinery and found a mini excavator in our backyard making the hole even deeper and the mound even larger. The engineer had decided that extra depth was needed and that the sides must be sheer so that marauding raccoons, herons or other predators could not go fishing at our expense. Another day passed until the size of the abyss was to the liking of the engineer. Then it was time to install the rubber liner. It took three people to achieve this, two of them getting wet as water had already accumulated in the void, courtesy of Mother Nature. Some dreams were swiftly shattered during the sheer hard work of building the waterfall. We began to wish we had not taken all the soil to the dump. The engineer decided, at this late stage, that retaining some of it would have been useful to help the elevation. Several trips to the gravel pit followed where we were told we could help ourselves to miscellaneous split rock on the sides of the quarry, free of charge. We arrived home with bleeding hands and sore

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backs, but the rocks did look a lot like Yorkshire stone. The architect ventured his opinion that since the pond Eventually, a rocky cascade was created, and a pump was much larger than originally intended, a focal point was installed at the deepest end of the hole. Next came the de- needed to relieve the large expanse of calm water. I vollightful part of pumping in 1,500 gallons of water. Finally, unteered a lighthouse, which I had acquired the previous the waterfall was turned on with year. A tea light inside could be ildelightful splashing and gurgling luminated for summer evening amsounds. biance. ...when I returned from This edifice, promptly chrisUnfortunately, a few hours later, when I returned from grocery shoptened Cape Breton by the critic, grocery shopping, the was effective on a rocky isle on the ping, the liner had bulged out and there appeared to be more water besouth shore of Lake Windermere, liner had bulged out as the pond was now called, after hind the liner than in the actual pond and there appeared to our favourite place in the English – something to do with the watertight Lake District. features of clay and water pressure. be more water behind The waterfall cascaded charmThe architect, whilst reasonably the liner than in the ingly down the rocky channel, but satisfied with the lighthouse, considlost its volume of water and leaked ered it inadequate. Therefore, on our actual pond... trip to buy plants and fish, a second before it reached the pond surface. I called in the engineer, who stated the lighthouse was purchased. This one had the luxury of an integral solar waterfall must be demolished and reconstructed with mortaring of rocks done more precisely to light so there was no danger of the architect falling in the correct the dysfunction. It also had to do with the water table water, trying to install a tea light, which had occurred with – something the engineer understood, but which eluded me. the first lighthouse. A pump had to be placed between the liner and clay sides This second beacon was instantly christened Cape Horn. and it took several hours to get rid of water where it was not A purist geographer might shudder at these disparate names needed. Suddenly, the sun shone for the first time since opera- from three different continents, but we weren’t concerned. The second lighthouse turned out to be a wise addition, tions began, and we were reminded why we were doing this.

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for now visiting grandchildren could be kept occupied with the latest acquisitions of the architect and engineer – two radio-controlled boats operated by remote gear sticks that could ply the waters between Cape Breton and Cape Horn. No matter that, to date, we have no grandchildren. Little boats, as everyone knows, are for grown-ups. We purchased only a few fish, snails and aquatic plants at this stage since we weren’t sure if the quality of the water could support life. We slipped three small goldfish, two fat snails and three plants into the water, which must have seemed like Lake Superior to them. The goldfish promptly disappeared while the snails ambulated quite a bit. Three days later, when there was still no goldfish sighting, it was suspected that the snails had eaten the fish, as they were twice as big. However, the architect, who is something of a zoologist, said this was highly improbable. I did think, though, that at least one fish might have had the decency to swim to the surface to put our minds at rest.

“Cape Breton”

Eventually, a solitary goldfish was spotted. Contrary to our fears, he had not been overcome by the vastness of his surroundings after the confines of the garden centre. One evening, the other two fish were sighted, hanging out together in the lonely glimmer of Cape Horn, the tea light having extin-

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guished itself at Cape Breton. We decided more fish were needed, so we returned to the garden centre. One staff person suggested renaming the pond Loch Ness. I rejected this as it meant we would have to somehow acquire a monster. Now that was going SL a bit too far!

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TELLING TALES

BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

orn in Alberta, raised in Saskatchewan and retired to Vancouver Island, former navy wife Bernice Williams has selfpublished three books and is working on two more. A prolific writer and chronicler of the life and times of her family and their pets, this mother, grandmother and great-grandmother started writing at the age of 10 when she “began to concoct outrageous fairy tales from various family episodes.” Encouraged by her mother, a schoolteacher, who taught Bernice a deep appreciation of nature and urged her to finish the stories she made up, Bernice later entertained her own children with stories when they were small. Her first book, The True Story About the “La,” was awarded a certificate as one of 10 finalists in America’s Best Pic-

ture Book contest (1995). The tale grew from a humorous story Bernice shared with her brother. The “La,” a dragon that lives in the land of Make Believe, faces scary adventures when he accidentally tumbles off the wall dividing the land of Make Believe from the real world. He gets back to his own world only when he finds a child who does not believe the terrible stories about him. Dedicated to family members, her Poetry of the Heart, a gleaning of literary poems from a literary family, includes poems of love, nature and humour mostly written by Bernice and includes photos, mostly taken by Bernice. Her fantastical humour tickles the most serious funny bone. One of her poems, “Arthur My Avocado,” was a result of Bernice’s success (after several failures) at growing an avocado plant from a pit.

Brenda Ellis Certiﬁed Senior Advisor

Her fondness for the tall, “leggy” plant with large leaves gave rise to a poem about Arthur, a very social houseplant that grew and grew and, searching for romance, fell in love with a rose. Based on a true story, Over the Rainbow Bridge, the only book available for purchase, is dedicated to two animals, TC (Top Cat) and Niki, an Alaskan Malamute, and to those people who work to ensure the best possible life for all animal friends. Bernice played a key role in bringing up TC and Niki who lived with her daughter Jan and her son-in-law Frank. Saddened, when their two pets died within five months of each other and moved by the poem, “The Rainbow Bridge,” Bernice wrote Over the Rainbow Bridge in memory of the two animal friends. Over the Rainbow Bridge is currently entered in a national contest. Bernice’s role as a navy wife began in 1943 when she married Ralph Williams, a sailor who had already begun his tour as a volunteer in the Royal Canadian Navy. The young couple’s honeymoon was a train trip to Halifax. Living in Dartmouth and Halifax while Ralph was at sea, Bernice found a job with the government in the Income Tax Department and later transferred to a job with Imperial Oil. Like other navy wives in those days, Bernice spent a lot of time waiting for the ships to come in and when they did, “there was much

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Author Bernice Williams

celebrating.” In one of her next books, Bernice intends to use the diary Ralph kept to chronicle their war experiences. After the war, the Williams moved to Calgary where Bernice devoted her life to raising their four children. Since Bernice and Ralph moved to Victoria in 1981, they celebrated both their 50th and 60th wedding anniversaries at the mystical Tsa-Kwa-Luten Lodge on Quadra Island, where Bernice feels close to the First Nation history. “I feel their ancestry. I can almost hear their tom-toms. I can see it.” Widowed and finding herself alone two years ago, Bernice was faced with the challenge of carving out a new lifestyle. Going to the fitness centre and continuing her hobby of writing wasn’t enough to keep her busy, so she took on two new ventures: joining a drama club and, last October, modelling for Curves in their Fashion Show and Silent Auction to raise money for breast cancer. A talented photographer whose pictures appear in two of her books, Bernice loves to take her camera and walk along the forest trails around Matheson and Beaver Lakes to record the beautiful scenes of nature. With a fertile imagination and infectious humour, at age 87, Bernice Williams continues to entertain her friends and family, and enjoy an active, healthy lifestyle.

Information Meetings: Union Club of Victoria • 805 Gordon Street Union Club of Victoria, 805 Gordon Street Tuesday, April13th 13th •• 22 sessions: sessions: 22- 3pm - 3pm - 8pm Tuesday, April oror 7 -78pm Space Limited • Call to Register Space Limited • Call to Register

For more information about Over the Rainbow Bridge by E. Bernice Williams, visit www.blurb.com/tags/bridges SL

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Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 APRIL 2010

A BIRTHDAY WISH BY JENNIFER SHORE

Photo: Jennifer Shore

etite May first arrived in my office around l980 to help as a volunteer with addressing and filling envelopes for a large mail out. Little did I know then that May would be a volunteer in my office, almost every day, for the next 20 years. In that time, she became a whiz with the photocopying machine and was, prior to the age of computerization, the “go to” volunteer to help with filing, mail-outs and the record keeping of office work associated with running various arts administration offices in Victoria. As I moved from one organization to another, May would say, “Make sure there is a job for the two of us, dear.” In the middle of January, I began to ponder, “What do you give a person for their 100th birthday?” I began thinking of conversations we had had during our 20 years of working together. It was during some of these conversations May would recall a time of her life when, as a small child, she lived in a tent beside the railroad track at Lac La Biche, Alberta, north of Edmonton. Occasionally, wistfully, she wished she “had some pebbles from the railroad track as a keepsake of her time there.” It occurred to me that now was the time to make that wish come

true and, with two weeks to go, set about trying to get pebbles sent from the railroad track at Lac La Biche to Victoria in time for her birthday on February 9th. My first call was to the Volunteer Fire Department at Lac

FEBRUARY 2010 VANCOUVER ISLAND

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TO ORDER a copy... Please mail a cheque for $5.25 ($5 plus GST), along with your name, phone number and address, to Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1. We will mail you a copy of this resourceful housing guide upon receipt of payment. 20

SENIOR LIVING

La Biche. They were unable to help, as the land around the track is privately owned. They suggested, however, I call CN’s head office in Montreal. When I phoned CN’s head office, they (not surprisingly) did not have a button to push on their answering service that covered sending pebbles from Lac La Biche to Victoria. However, I did talk to someone who thought it a great idea and suggested I phone a company in Toronto that has a contract with CN to move household effects across the country. In the meantime, they would talk it over and see if there was any way they could help with the request. When I called the company in Toronto, they too were intrigued with the idea, but were unable to suggest anyway or anyone who might be able to help get pebbles from Lac La Biche to Victoria. They said they would talk among themselves and let me know if they had any thoughts on what to do or who to approach. The next day, I was out walking and thinking about the challenge I had set myself when the obvious occurred to me, the RCMP! They were bound to have a detachment in Lac La Biche. The local RCMP detachment office in Langford was very encouraging and gave me the number to call in Lac La Biche. When I spoke with the RCMP in Lac La Biche regarding my request, they were most enthusiastic about the idea, expressed “they loved doing things like this,” and promised to go to the track and pick up some pebbles to mail to Victoria in time for May’s birthday.

The pebbles arrived on February 5th, in time for the celebrations taking place on May’s 100th birthday on February 9th. I cut the return address on the envelope with: “From RCMP Lac La Biche, Alberta” written on it. The pebbles now had provenance as being from Lac La Biche, and not my own backyard. This piece of envelope would be placed in the small jar to be used to contain and display the pebbles. I decided not to clean the three pebbles as parts of them still had a thin layer of dirt from the tracks. With tissue paper at the bottom of the jar, I placed the pebbles in a row against the glass on the inside, so they could be seen from the outside, and filled the rest of the jar with tissue paper. I wrapped the jar to take to May’s 100th birthday party with family and friends. May’s “surprise” party was a whirl for her – being the centre of attention, socializing, eating, singing and blowing out the candles on her cake – she was in her element. But the excitement made it impossible for her to concentrate on her gifts. I visited her at home a few days later. Surrounded by cards and flowers, she sat in her favourite chair. Beside her, prominently displayed, was the jar of pebbles. “Oh, I am so pleased to see you, dear,” she said as she stood up to hug a welcome. She then took hold of the jar and sitting down again, her face alight with joy, she said, “Oh, thank you, thank you for the stones. You remembered! I shall keep them forever!” I then shared with her the story of how they had arrived in Victoria for her

birthday. Lifting her hand to her cheek, she said, in astonishment, “Oh! The RCMP?” Still cradling the jar in her hands and with eyes sparkling, “They bring back so many memories. I remember asking Daddy, ‘What will we do if a bear tries to come into the tent?’ He said, ‘We’ll just poke its nose and it will run away.’” We both laughed. The pebbles were weaving their magic, bringing joy to May. And I felt the joy of being a part of making a wish come true. SL

Leave your mark for future generations.

A planned gift to the University of Victoria can create many bright futures. Just ask Nadine Sykora, a fourth year student majoring in computer science. Thanks to an estateestablished bursary, Nadine has the means to pursue her passion. Your generosity will help ensure that future generations of talented students like Nadine receive a quality education. You can establish a fund in your name, or the name of a loved one, to support any university program you wish. Planned gifts are forever. “Financial support for students trying to achieve higher education is a gift that can change a student’s life. As a recipient I know how wonderful this gift can be.“ Find out how you can create a lasting legacy in your will or estate plan by contacting Natasha Benn, Planned Giving Development Oﬃcer at 250-721-6001 or by e-mail at nbenn@uvic.ca APRIL 2010

SCAM ALERT BY ROSALIND SCOTT

Beware of Fraudulent Paving Contractor

pring is here, and with it comes a warning to homeowners about a fraudulent paving company working across Lower Mainland British Columbia. Consumer reports from places across B.C. indicate that men have shown up suddenly in communities offering to resurface asphalt driveways. The representatives provided a brochure or flyer for the company and a quote with a five-year guarantee. One consumer recently paid $5,300 by money order to the company to have the work completed. It turned out to be substandard and fell apart within a few days. After trying to track down the company, the homeowner found out the office listed on the invoice was a fake. These unreliable contractors typically target a community for only a few days and then move to another location

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to avoid detection. Consumers need to be vigilant and not be taken in by low prices and guarantees.

After trying to track down the company, the homeowner found out the ofﬁce listed on the invoice was a fake.

Before you give any money to anyone or allow him or her into your home, BBB suggests: Get the name and location. Research the name and address of the company the vendor claims to represent. Check the business out at vi.bbb.org Get it in writing. Ensure all details and verbal promises are included in a contract. Review it and make sure you completely understand the document. Never sign a contract with sections left blank. Check for qualifications. Verify the individual is licensed, bonded, insured and has registered with WorkSafeBC (Workers’ Compensation Board).

Make cheques payable to the company. Do not pay in cash and do not make cheques payable to an individual, only the company. Avoid “bait and switch” tactics. Some disreputable companies will offer low prices for installing items like windows and home siding, but then come back later to the client saying the item is currently out of stock and can only be replaced with a high-priced substitute. Have everything in writing and know the terms in advance. Do not be pressured by any person if you are unsure. Take the time to do your due diligence. If you did sign and would like to change your mind, B.C. law states that if it was a door-to-door sales contract, you have 10 days to advise the company. For more information, contact Consumer Protection BC at www.consumerprotectionbc.ca SL For more Consumer Tips, go to vi.bbb.org

If you believe you have been the target of a scam, call the Better Business Bureau Vancouver Island at 250-386-6348 in Greater Victoria or at 1-877-826-4222 elsewhere on the Island, so others can beneﬁt from your experience. E-mail info@vi.bbb.org

CLASSIFIEDS QUALITY OF LIFE REQUIRES A HEALTHY BRAIN. Memory going? Bring the workshop, Brain Wellness For Seniors, to your residence. Gary Anaka facilitates engaging, optimistic and hopeful workshops. Discover how to keep brain plasticity alive as you age. www.braincoach.ca or call 250-753-0688. OCEANSIDE HOME SERVICES serving Parksville/Qualicum for your complete home maintenance service & repair needs. Please call Mike 250-248-6008. HEDGES AND EDGES. Reliable garden help regular maintenance, or occasional heavy work. Pruning and rejuvenation of hedges and shrubs. Seniors references. 250-642-5285 SAANICH VOLUNTEER SERVICES needs gardeners to prune clients’ bushes, tidy ﬂower beds and help with spring planting. Volunteer at 250-595-8008. WANTED: OLD POSTCARDS, stamp accumulations, and pre-1950 stamped envelopes. Also buying old coins, medals and badges. Please call Michael 250-652-9412 or email fenian@shaw.ca

PAINTING THE ISLAND. Interior, exterior, residential, commercial. Many references. Seniors Discounts. Prompt, professional. Free estimates. Gordon - Coastal Building Services 1-250-9517675. RUTH M.P HAIRSTYLING for Seniors in Greater Victoria. In the convenience of your own home! Certiﬁed Hairdresser. Call - 250-893-7082. WANTED ROOM AND BOARD. Quiet, clean, 40’s male. Will trade chores for lower rent. Or house sitting. Call John 250-891-2489. UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY FOR SENIOR LIVING. Own your own lovely 1-2 bedroom condo in Cook Street village and have the services of assisted living. Price from $110,000. For more information call Mette, Remax Camosun at 250-418-0584. MOBILE FOOT CARE NURSE home visits in greater Nanaimo, Cedar to Parksville. John Patterson LPN, qualiﬁed nursing foot care for toenails, corns and calluses.250-390-9277.

HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE – Ask us about our new concierge services. We provide a little assistance when you need it. Do you need meal preparation, light housekeeping, laundry, shopping, appointments, or respite? We are also hiring seniors. Call 250-382-6565 WANTED: SCOOTERS AND STAIRLIFTS. We buy and sell demo and recycled mobility products. Call Silver Cross 250-385-5580.

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$30 for 20 words or less. $1.25 per extra word. BW only. Boxed Ad - Small (2.2 x 1.2) $110. Boxed Ad - Large (2.2 x 2.4) $210. Add BW Logo - $25. Red spot color 10% extra. Plus 5% GST. All Classiﬁed ads must be paid at time of booking. Cheque/Credit Card accepted. Ph. (250)479-4705 or toll-free 1-877479-4705. Deadline: 15th of the month. Make cheque payable to: Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave.,Victoria BC V8T 2C1

THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU of Vancouver Island is located at 220-1175 Cook St., Victoria BC V8V 4A1. Toll-free phone line for Up-Island 1-877-826-4222 (South Island dial 250-386-6348). www.bbbvanisland.org E-mail: info@bbbvanisland.org COLLECTOR SEEKING vintage/collectable cameras, binoculars and microscopes. Nikon, Leica, Contax, Rolleiﬂex, Zeiss, Canon, etc. Mike 250-383-6456 or e-mail: msymons6456@telus.net FOOT CARE NURSE with years of experience offering in-home visits. “Nursing Your Feet to Better Health”. 250-592-4788. WRITTEN A BOOK? Aldridge Street Editing can get your manuscript print-ready. Transcription - Editing Cover Design - Book Layout. www.aldridgestreet.com Call 250-595-2376.

A LOT OF JUNK WON’T FIT IN YOUR TRUNK. You’re in luck, I own a truck. Seniors discount. City Haul John 250-891-2489. MUSIC LESSONS at the Peninsula Academy of Music Arts, 1662 Mills Road, North Saanich 778-426-1800. All instruments.www.PeninsulaAcademy.ca

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COMPUTER BASICS IN YOUR HOME. Patient senior computer lady to show you e-mail, surﬁng. Hourly fee. Connect with your world. 250-516-5980.

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OCTOBER 2009 39 APRIL 2010

RESTORING

HONOUR AND DIGNITY

ecipient of the 2010 Leadership Victoria Lifetime Achievement Award, which honours outstanding long-term service in community leadership roles such as philanthropy, innovation, mentoring and career achievement, executive director and pastor of the Mustard Seed Food Bank, Tom Oshiro, says he answered a calling. After retirement from the ministry, Tom joined the Mustard Seed as counsellor in 1991, planning to stay for two or three years. Eighteen years later, Reverend Tom is still looking for ways of improving life for the poor. “The reason I’m still here,” says Tom, “is because I was so challenged by the responsibilities

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and so encouraged by the task. It was counselling to help the poor people and to help the organization to grow spiritually.” Tom’s family roots originated in Okinawa, Japan. In the early 1900s, Tom’s father came to Canada to work on the Canadian Pacific Railway. When the job was finished, Tom’s mother, who was a promised wife, joined her future husband and they settled in Kenora, Ontario, where Tom and his brothers and sisters were born and raised. Tom was 12 when the Second World War broke out. Two of his older brothers enlisted; one fought on the front lines in Italy; another graduated with his wings near the end of the war. To show his own patriotism, Tom joined the army and air cadets in high school. Despite their patriotism, however, Tom’s family faced a degree of racial prejudice. Feeling alienated and angry, Tom took his hostility out in sports as a winger in hockey and a quarterback in football. Eventually, Tom felt there was something wrong with his anger and he decided to become a Christian. “As the years passed by,” says Tom, “there was this beginning of a longing to love people, so the people who at one time I hated, it was all melted in this compassion that Christ gave me in my heart, so I changed.” A graduate of McMaster University, Tom’s first church was in Emo, a small town on the Rainy River in northern Ontario. “It was a new venture learning new things and discovering new things in the ministry.” The job was exciting. In Emo, Tom met his wife, Vietta, a Red Cross nurse. The couple married in Kenora, and moved to Brantford, where their three children were born. Active in the communities where he worked, Tom ran clubs for young people, coached football and hockey, directed community plays, took charge of summer camps for children and teens and was involved in curling. As his career grew, the Baptist Convention of Ontario and Quebec called him to become a denominational executive to oversee the development of new churches and the work of evangelism. By 1980, because of his exposure to churches everywhere, Tom was offered a position by the Baptist Union of Western Canada to work as pastor of pastors and gen-

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eral overseer of 50 churches in British Columbia, a responsibility that required him to travel throughout the province, checking on the welfare of churches and pastors. Travelling by car and plane from New Westminster was tiring and Tom missed his family. After four-and-a-half years, he decided to go back to church ministry and took the job of pastor at Royal Oak Baptist Church in Victoria. “I had a great time,” says Tom. The church was new and was in the process of growing and, after six years, Tom thought it was time to retire. “I decided I would resign and retire, but I visited the Mustard Seed – an interesting mistake.” There have been success stories, says Tom. “I always think of a lady who came to the Mustard Seed at Christmastime and she came with a tiny little baby and she was weeping and struggling with her situation. We discovered that the marriage had broken up and she didn’t know what to

do except to come to us, so from that point on, we provided enough groceries for her to keep going. On that occasion, I loaned her some money and it was five years later that she came to us and said, ‘Tom, I just came to pay back a debt.’ I couldn’t remember her at all and she said, ‘Now the good news is that I was able to go back to university and I graduated in law and I’m now in a firm.’ She was visionary and energetic and completely committed to a future for her child.” But not all stories are successful, says the grandfather of 10. From looking after 400-500 people each week when Tom began working as counsellor, the food bank now feeds 7,200 people a month; 1,700 are children. Tom is further challenged when he sees that “We are not being honest with ourselves if we believe that we are helping them by simply giving them food and clothing. In some cases, we are entering into a third generation of people, so we have literally watched

“Life is decadent here!”

the parents here; we watched their children; we saw their children grow up, marry and now we’re seeing their children. And we can see that those children are going to end up on the receiving end of the food line.” To change the situation, Tom proposes building a family centre to organize programs that would educate the less fortunate in general living skills such as the ability to budget, to cook and to raise children. But the proposal cannot be completed without financial help for real estate and qualified volunteers to run the program. Tom, whose wife died in 2008, says, “Everybody who comes to the Mustard Seed has a major problem. It seems as if it’s a financial one, but it’s much more emotional and spiritual.” Instead of retiring, Tom continues to look for ways to restore honour and dignity to SL the lives of the poor. To learn how you can help, call Tom Oshiro at 250-953-1575 or email RevTom@mustardseed.ca

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Dear Goldie: I became a widower six months ago when my wife died in a car accident after 35 years together. I just can’t seem to get my life back together since it happened. We had three children and five grandchildren, so I do have a family. Everyone seems so busy with their own lives; I can’t talk about what happened. What can I do? –A.Y. Dear A.Y.: Your health is in danger unless you find someone to share your true feelings. Psychologists tell us there is both

emotional and physical healing power in expressing your grief. I would suggest you set a time to bring your family and close friends together for a remembrance evening. Tears are acceptable and it would be a great tribute to your wife and the mother of your children. Such an occasion gives all of you an opportunity to grieve openly. That is what is needed here. Unfortunately, our generation often praised the “stiff upper lip” attitude to grief, a process that delays healing. Your comment about the difficulty in getting your life back together indicates you may have been trying this

method. Hopefully, your family gathering will allow all of you to keep the memory of a wife and mother alive SL and part of your daily life.

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One Heavenly Hike BY JANE CASSIE

Ten Scenic Sights W

The Cassies enjoy one of the scenic summits.

e did a lot of hiking in the first few years of our marriage. But that was a couple of decades and a dozen or so pounds ago. So, when Brent suggests that we re-connect with Mother Nature and her tundra trails, I’m feeling somewhat skeptical about conquering the ascent. “It’ll be fun,” my Olympian-fit husband assures. “And we’ll start out easy – like the hike at Buntzen Lake.” Childhood memories flash back to this picnic hot spot, just east of Anmore; canoes skim the still waters, sandy beaches border its two ends and a low-level trail rims the perimeter. Even my aging knees could surely handle this two-hour saunter. But when we arrive at this adventure playground, instead of taking the low road, he heads for higher ground. Intersecting the southwest corner of this glistening gem is a mountain route that literally takes us up, up and away. “Don’t worry,” Brent promises. “We don’t have to do the 15 kilometre loop. If the going gets too tough, we can turn back after any one of the viewpoints.” As well as Diez Vistas Trail being a little more than a walk in the park, I find out it’s aptly named; 10 heart-thumping ascents and 10 scenic summits. Our tag-along senior schnauzer is excited. She seems to have reclaimed some puppy pep and is as hyped as hubby about this challenge. How can I let them down? My confidence begins to grow when we venture onto the wide-grade path that bisects the forest, crosses a floating bridge and leads to a gravel road – pretty non-threatening. Then the real trailhead and uphill begins. In fact, by the time we pass under the hydro lines at the two-and-a-quarter kilometre mark, I’m the one who’s needing a power surge! Switchbacks scroll the mountainside and take us closer to the heavens. And while huffing and puffing my way to the

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first summit, I’m ready to throw in the towel. But it’s too early yet. Our cute pooch (read: transformed mountain goat) is having the time of her life and is running circles around me. Why was I ever worried about her aging heart? I’ll likely be the one needing a pacemaker after this journey! Our trail forks to the right, rising sharply to the first summit and we’re finally privy to that hiker’s reward – a dropdead (excuse the pun) view of forever unfolding mountains. “It gets even better,” Brent claims, when I respond with an oxygen-deprived, “Wow.” “You’ll really be blown away by the next perch.” Although it’s a poor choice of words, he’s

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Taking the easy way out.

Getting to Diez Vistas Trail: Head east through Port Moody/ Coquitlam Make a left onto Ioco Road Follow the signs for Anmore and Buntzen Lake Park in the southwest corner of the lot Best time for this hike: April–October Elevation Gain: 440 metres Highest point: 560 metres This circuit can be completed in less than four hours. We took a leisurely ﬁve. tweaked my interest. I’m not sure if this is just a ploy to keep my rubbery legs going, but the dog seems to agree, as she wags her stubby tail and skitters onward. And I diligently follow, doing my slow but steady plod. Nature has a magical way of instilling peace. I’m not sure if it’s the clear mountain air or escaping the city pace, but somehow I feel symbiotically connected to the surroundings and internally calm. We continue in silence, each

of us lost in our own thought. At an elevation of 560 metres, we’ve conquered the brunt of this bluff, and the ridge-top plateau is now more forgiving. My heart has stopped drum rolling. I’m breathing within normal range. And my sweatsoaked shirt is providing a cool embrace. Life is good. And, as Brent promised, so are the next nine viewpoints. Beyond the tree-fringed Deep Cove, our overview includes the metropolis of Vancouver, snow-tipped North Shore peaks, and a scattering of distant islands. Other pinnacles showcase different views: the finger-like fjord of Indian Arm, blue-smudged Toni Onleytype landscapes and the wilderness that stretches beyond. We take time to soak in the beauty and visual overload from each summit and agree that this hike is worth the sights! Although we have the option of doing an about face and retracing our steps, we go for the full-circle tour. The Hansel and Gretel-type wooded thicket opens up to the occasional viewing bluff and peek-a-boo vistas. Down,

down to lower ground. Knees, knees, hang in there please! We end up on the north side of Buntzen Lake, a quick pit stop for refreshment and reprieve. From here, we can take the easier east-side lake trail back to our rescuing vehicle, or join the die-hard athletes on the west shore. By now, I’m motivated to give it my all. And after four more kilometres of rugged terrain, I can proudly say I’ve reclaimed my hiking legs – unlike our SL carried canine!

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PREW_5814_PREW034.indd 1

APRIL 2010 AM31 12/3/09 10:40:54

Reﬂections THEN & NOW LATE BLOOMER

wish I hadn’t been such a late bloomer. By the time maturity caught up with me, I was already a senior. When I was ready to boogie, my body was “boogieless.” And when I was ready to challenge the world, the world told me not to call it, it would call me. I’m still waiting for the call. I remember always wanting to be about three inches taller than I was. Now, I’m three inches shorter than I was when I wanted to be three inches taller! Sixty-five, 70, 75, 80 years might sound awfully old to the young, but not to the ones who own them. Years are like sand that runs through our fingers. They go that quickly! I’m sure glad we don’t take these tired old bodies with us when we leave this world to journey to the next. I guess I could handle holding onto my body when I had a 33-inch waist, was three inches taller, could see my shoes while standing up and was even able to bend down to tie them! But not now. I offered to leave my body to science, but they want references, so I’ve decided against it. My wife says science isn’t big enough for my body. She always knows the right thing to say when I’m feeling low.

I’m sure being a late bloomer has its advantages. I just can’t think of any. The disadvantages are a bit frustrating. Now that I realize that all things are to be taken in moderation, I am well past moderate. Now that I have learned it is wise to run from temptation, temptation has run from me. Now that I understand what it means to walk and not run, I’m stuck on a scooter. Life is not fair for we late bloomers. My grown children seem to be my elders and pat me on the hand when I try to tell them of my revelations. Maturity isn’t all it’s cut out to be. People just don’t seem to appreciate a vibrant, intelligent young adult in a senior body! They think a “late bloomer” is some kind of undergarment. I guess the best way to describe a late bloomer is a person who finally gets to sit behind the steering wheel in a car, and discovers cars, as a rule, no longer have a clutch. Or arriving at the dance when everyone else has gone home. Or wanting to take a bite out of the world, but afraid of losing their teeth in the process.

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My kids and stepkids, who are in their 30s and 40s, have been mature for years. When I was in my 30s and 40s, I was still trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up! My wife is still waiting for an answer. My 13-year-old grandson is far more mature now than I was when I was 53! When I suggest he and I go see a movie, more often than not, he will tell me there is nothing really suitable for me to see and it would be better if we stayed at home. When I told him I thought I was old enough to handle whatever Hollywood chose to dish out, he smiled patiently, sighed and changed the subject. Now that I have bloomed, I want the world to know! I’m as good as any mature adult – even better than some I would hope. My wife says I’m being supercilious, but it’s true I tell you! Being a late bloomer is like inheriting a million dollars while living on a deserted island with no way off. My body may demand to be in bed by 9 p.m., but my mind parties until the wee hours. My flesh may be overblown and part of the sag explosion, but my mind is muscular and can still run down the beach kicking sand in thin guys’ faces. My body may be old, but my mind is younger than young and the mature of the mature. It’s not so bad being a late SL bloomer. But it sure is lonely!

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